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"Confession"Written By: t-shirt Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: R Warnings: Angst, fluff, sap. WAFF’iness ^_^ Unbeta’ed Pairings: 1x2 Summary: A love confession shatters Duo’s world but pure determination helps put it back together again. "Confession"
This was not happening. No way. There was just no way in hell Hiiro Yui had just said he was in love with me. I hadn’t thought much of it when he invited me on a weekend camping trip. We often did that sort of thing together during our time off. Sometimes Wufei or Quatre and Trowa would come along if they were around when we had planned something but it was Hiiro and I that made a regular habit of spending our free time together. I never noticed anything odd; he’s my best friend. What could be more natural that spending time with your best friend? “Duo?” “Don’t… touch me.” I really didn’t have the capacity to care about the hurt in his eyes. Everything I had known, everything I thought we were had just shattered and blown away in the wind. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you…” “Then why the hell didn’t you?” I didn’t want to snap at him, didn’t want to cause that look on his face but come on! We did everything together. We were partners. “I didn’t want to lose you.” “Jesus, Hiiro!” It just didn’t make sense. “Nothing has changed…” “Like hell!” What was he missing? Why did he have to go and ruin it all?! “I’ve felt this way for a long time.” “Christ!” It wasn’t possible. “No wonder you never used the showers when I did!” “It seemed… inappropriate.” “Well, I guess it would be wouldn’t it?!” I chortled angrily. This could not be happening. “Nothing has to change.” “What the hell am I supposed to do?! Buy a separate tent?!” I really didn’t want to shout but nothing would come out quietly. “I’m not going to violate you.” What right did he have to get snippy with me? “So fucking what, Hiiro!? That doesn’t change the fact that you want to!” “I can’t help how I feel.” “Why the hell couldn’t you just… repress it or something?” I had no idea what the hell I was saying. “It felt like I was deceiving you.” “Yeah, well, you were.” The words had been spoken calmly but it was easy to see they had cut much deeper than my shouting. “Jesus, what the fuck am I supposed to do now?” “We could go fishing.” “Fuck you.” I didn’t want things to change. “Duo…” “Why couldn’t it just stay the same?” I didn’t want to cry. “But they are the same…” “Don’t fucking touch me!” “Duo! Stop it!” I really didn’t want him to touch me but he refused to let go of my shoulders. “I’m not going to do anything! Just stop!” “You did enough,” I sniffed giving in but I couldn’t forgive myself for needing the comfort of his touch. His touch, it had always brought with it peace and companionship but now it was tainted with forbidden desire. “Damn it, Duo… I’m sorry.” I knew I wasn’t the only one in pain but it was hard not to be selfish. “Take it back.” We could pretend none of this had happened. “It would be a lie.” “Damn it.” “Maybe I should just go.” “No.” I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving. He had become the most important person in my life. “What should I do?” He sounded so lost but all I could think about was the pain in my heart. I had lost my friend and my partner and the one person I had trusted above all others in a single moment. It had all disappeared with the utterance of three little words and it hurt like hell but there was no way I could stand the pain if I lost him completely. “Kiss me?” “What?” I almost laughed at him but it seemed horribly inappropriate. “Its what you want isn’t it?” “Well… yes but that’s not how it works.” “I can’t lose you.” “Oh, Duo,” he sighed coming to kneel before me. “You don’t have to want me for me to stay. You’ll never lose me.” “You’re already gone.” I really didn’t want to cry. “Gods, Duo. What do I have to do to fix this?” “You can’t,” I snorted. “You mangled it right nice.” I was doing a fair job of cutting him up but it felt justified. “We can keep going,” he insisted. “It’ll be the same…” “Nothing is the same! It’ll never be `the same` again, Hiiro! You took it and chewed on it and turned it inside out and now you’re going to have to take fucking responsibility for it!” “Duo?” I could not lose him. He fell flat on his ass when I latched on and kissed him. “What the hell’re you doing?!” “If we can’t go back we’ll go forward.” “Stop!” He was seriously starting to frustrate me. “This isn’t what I want, Duo!” “Then what do you want!?” “I just want you be happy, god damn it!” I stopped struggling and trying to kiss him and realized I had somehow ended up straddling his lap. “How am I supposed to be happy if I’m constantly wondering if you’re checking out my ass?” “I’ve been checking it out for ages, never bothered you before.” Jokes. Like I needed jokes just then. “You don’t have to do anything.” Then why did I feel so restless? “I’m happy just being able to be with you.” “Liar.” “Duo, please don’t do that.” “Don’t lie.” “Alright!” It’s amazing what a little rotation of the hips can achieve. “I do want more but… it’s not like I’d ask you to do anything that would make you unhappy.” “Really?” “Yes… You must know I would do anything for you.” “Anything?” “Just name it.” “I want my best friend back.” He accepted me into his arms when I lay down on his chest without a single thought of turning me away. “I’m here,” he whispered. “Hiiro?” “Hn?” “Would you show me…just once?” “Show you?” “Show me how you really feel.” “Are you serious?” He’s sort of cute when he gets excited. “I really want to understand.” “You’re not making this easy.” “Sorry,” I snorted but then I was pretty nervous. His hands are incredibly warm but they paled in comparison to his mouth. I understood how deeply he felt for me before my lips ever parted and opened a door I knew I was never going to be able to step back through. “Gods in heaven, stopstopstopstop.” “What?” Was that my voice? “I’m going to drown.” He did sound a little wet around the edges. “But it was nice.” “You liked it?” There was that cute expression again. “Did it feel like I liked it?” “Duo… I need you to be very specific…” “Specific enough?” “Ah! Damnnn… I told you not to do that!” “Look. I have no idea where this is all going but I … can… not… lose… you.” “Are you saying you’re in love with me?” “It’s not like I don’t care about you.” Why was he being so stubborn? “Like this?” Whoa. It was a whole different ball game when he was the one rotating his hips. The strength in his fingers on my thighs surprised me, too but not half as much as the rising heat in my body. “So it would seem.” He didn’t get it until he followed my gaze to my groin then I found myself suddenly on my back. “Are you really willing to try?” “You started this shit, don’t you dare think about backing out on me now.” “We can go slow,” he grinned and all of a sudden the pieces of my world all came fluidly together. “How slow?” It was nice the way he was kissing my chin and neck. “Go to dinner with me next weekend.” “Oh.” Not exactly what I had been thinking. “That might be just a tad… too slow.” He groaned deep in his chest when I wrapped my legs around him. “Duo…” “Hm?” “You’re making me insane.” “Get used to it,” I smiled pulling him closer as I teased his lower half to full attention. “Cause you’re never getting away.” “You know what I want to do with you?” “Does it involve cooking oil and hyperventilation?” “Hell, yeah.” “You know, this side of the fence might be fun.” “I’m having a good time.” He was already inside my shirt so it was difficult to laugh. “Are you really sure you want this?” “Hmmm, lets see.” That last kiss was more than the camel could carry and the conversation just sort of slid off the back. He had destroyed everything that we were in a single instant but what we drew from the ashes was something sparkling and new and I believed with all my heart we would find our way… together. owari :)
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