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"Paradise Found "Written By: t-shirt Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: R Warnings: Angst, supernatural, apparent character
death, fluff Pairings: 1x2 Summary: A halloween ficlet. "Paradise Found " There are some who fear for my sanity. I was just a child when the dreams began but considering the circumstances it was determined they were the product of an overly imaginative mind that was too young to cope with the reality of what most deemed an unfortunate tragedy. I still recall the day I met him. The sun shone so brightly but paled in comparison to his smile. I’d never seen anyone so carefree and it struck me that he, as one of the many downtrodden paupers in our land, would be so beautifully inspired to smile. We became quick friends in spite of my noble station but I was not born to the royal house and felt more at ease in his commoners company than in the palace halls. My father was an inventor in the kings employ before his ambition took he and my mother away. They said it was an accident caused by one of his many experiments but regardless their demise left me with no parent to support me. However, I was fortunate enough to have fallen into the princess’s favor and was taken in on the assumption that I would provide her highness with companionship even unto our wedding day should she choose to pursue it. It never occurred to me in my despondency after my parent’s death to question the road set before me until I met him. It wasn’t long after that Relena became jealous of the time I spent in Duo’s company and accused him of coercing me in the hope of burgling the palace. Nothing could have been farther from the truth but she was spoiled and usually got her way without question so he was banned from coming near the palace walls. However, this did not garner the result she desired resulting in less time for her doting and possessive control where I was concerned as I refused to be separated from him and often wandered into the hills to meet up with him. We spent hours on end exploring the world and though I was expertly aware of most of the crawling things that occupy the ground he had a way of making every new discovery a delightful experience. It was the first happiness I had known in my life which begged me to spend more and more time by his side. Before I knew it we were camping out in the woods and I was facing the princess’s wrath each time I returned because the visits were becoming longer each time. I didn’t realize the extent of what was happening until Relena showed up in my chambers one night. We were on the verge of adulthood, her in her fourteenth year and I her elder by a year but as yet our relationship remained carefully plutonic. However, her frustration over my absence prompted her to come to me in the night offering things I suddenly realized I would never desire of her. The rejection did not go well and I still remember the tears she left behind when she fled into the dark but the incident was not without revelation on my part. That night was the first time I dreamed of him but it was not the peaceful images that often plague my sleep now. I woke in an impassioned heat somewhere in the morning hours having been antagonized by his sweetness for most of the night and understood the depth of the feelings that had seeded inside me. When next we met I was incapable of simply enjoying his company because my mind and body were consumed with the desire to make him inexorably mine. It was awkward and frightening and the single most exciting time of my life because I wanted him so much but to tell him of my need to possess him physically could end it all if he were not receptive. However, as the days passed it became increasingly imperative that I address the issue less I loose control and force him into something he would never forgive me for but it was not to be. It was on the day that I resolved to confess that I lost him forever. He never showed up at our regular meeting place spurring a frantic hunt on my part but when I demanded his company at the monastery that had taken him in they said he had been killed by bandits. I barely recall the rage that took me but the evidence is still carved into the walls of the keep where the residence will forever shy from my eyes in fear. I regret my actions though there is little that can be done about it. It wasn’t the monks fault but such was my sorrow my mind refused to believe until sanity returned to me and I was left a shivering ball sobbing in their courtyard. I was returned to the palace where I lay upon a bed for over three months. Relena visited me everyday in an attempt to console but her purpose was clear, her claim the same possessive selfishness that had haunted my mind since the day I was inducted into her home and I loathed the idea that she would use my loss as a means by which to coerce me to her side. She even tried to seduce me on several occasions but the harder she tried the more I longed for Duo and the more violently I shoved her away. When my strength returned enough to allow my legs to hold me I avoided her to the point we rarely spoke over the next year and finally came to realize what she wanted from me wasn’t something I would ever be able to give. It just didn’t matter if he was by my side or not, if he lived or had moved on to the next life. My heart would always belong to Duo. Relena refused to accept my revelation when I confessed spawning a new era in our history that lowered me to the status of a palace slave. I was no longer permitted to roam freely and was forced to accompany her regardless of my will but there was one place she could not invade and I sought the sweet solace of my dreams. However, as time wore on it became more difficult to tell the dreams from reality. I simply could not make myself believe he was gone. In my mind I could be with him, we would run the hills and play happily just like before but my need for him prompted his advancement and as I grew so did he. I remember the first time I kissed his sweet lips and how beautifully he trembled in my arms. It was the most gratifying moment of my life when he held me close and begged for my passion. I spent hours on end exploring his body and mind but didn’t comprehend the depth of the situation until I woke under the watchful eye of a nurse and realized I’d been asleep for over three days. Relena was beside herself with worry and I doubted my belief that her heart was incapable of feeling for a time until it became clear that what she feared wasn’t my loss but hers. She was fiercely possessive afterward but nothing she could do could stop my mind from craving him so the dreams remained. Before long she was spending all her time trying to keep me awake and nearly came undone when she discovered the reason for my extended slumber. Her worry had prompted her to stay by my side even in the night where she slowly came to realize the substance of my dreams in the evidence of my mumbling and writhing in the bed. This led to my subjection to healers who were meant to dispel the demon that plagued my mind but I fought them every step of the way. There was no way they could take him away but I feared the eventual corruption of what had become my only desire. In the dream we lived on a hilltop where we had often played as children. It was a bright, happy place filled with his laugher and bright spirit. The days drifted by in sweet harmony while the nights were set ablaze with heated passion. It was as if heaven had granted us a small corner of paradise to wile away the hours of our youth but the nightmarish reality of my past kept invading our lives. “It’s not real,” she was saying as she had so many times before but the truth was I didn’t care if it was real or not. All I wanted was Duo. “Please,” she entreated trying to force my eyes to remain open. “You must renounce him! Come back to your senses!” she cried and I felt a little sorry for her knowing she would forever be scared by the memory of having lost what she wanted most. “Please,” she begged laying her head on my chest but my mind was already shifting and I smiled when his face rose above me. It was unclear to my mind which was reality and which was the dream anymore but I clung to his presence with all my might wishing for it to be him. It must have been him because the invasion of the nightmare of my past slowly faded until it became a distant memory. If I truly still remained in that world then Relena must have been responsible for keeping me alive and for that I am grateful. However, I was not unaware of the time spent in Duo’s company and could only reason it simply. We have spent a lifetime in our little house on the hill without the need for the company of others. There is no town nor the need to hunt or farm though I often see him with a basket of vegetables or wheat in his arms. We spend the hours enjoying each others company though time meanders by in that way that is only accountable in dreams. One moment we’re laughing in the afternoon sun and the next we’re buried in our bed so deep inside each other I feel I really will loose my mind. Perhaps I already have, maybe I lie on a bed somewhere where Relena keeps a silent vigil in the hope that I may one day return but I have no desire to ever leave his side. If I am insane then let me live my days caught in rapturous delusion. And if not, if perhaps the gods spared his soul and granted us this little slice of heaven then let me live on in their benevolent grace because there is nothing in the land of the living that I need if he is not there. It just doesn’t matter how we got there as long as we are permitted to remain. Be it a gift from the gods or simply the longing desire of my own mind for it to be so we are content and I thank whatever power that blessed us that we were spared the sorrow of a life in separation. It was a long road but we managed to come together in the end and I smile every time I look up at our little house and see him standing there in the bright sunshine of the paradise that we found. owari :)
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