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"nakodo shimei"Written By: t-shirt View art work for 'Nakodo Shimei": Click HERE Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: post-war cannon, Fluff, sap, WAFF ^-^,
slight angst, mention of lemon Pairings: (eventual 3x4, 1x2), 5+all Beta reader: mechante-fille Summary: Duo’s unease over his fellow pilot’s
lack of happiness in their new world of peace leads to a daring plan
to rectify the problem.
"nakodo shimei " Chapter 2 Chang Wufei. Ouch. What more can I say? The guy is just a freaking nightmare when it comes to socializing. And women? Dear lord. We had our work cut out for us, that’s for sure. He was currently engrossed in a seismic exercise designed to measure the effects of underground detonations on a fissure buried in the Qinghai region of China. I wasn’t going to get away with the ‘we were in the neighborhood’ excuse this time. Heero managed to pull together a reasonable tale involving a possible gundainium ore refinery in the X29994 resource satellite belt near L4. It was enough to explain our presence even if it was nothing more than a vague suspicion Heero had. The legitimacy was there, which was what had prompted him to use the excuse since Wufei would no doubt check into the information we gave him very thoroughly. I had a sneaky suspicion that the source of his irritation when he’d called me was due to the close proximity of a certain blonde doctor that was currently his closest friend and partner. Just the thought of him alone out there in the middle of nowhere with her without the slightest clue of how to approach her on an intimate level made me want to shake my head and laugh. The poor guy had to be frustrated as hell, so once we’d put Hilde on a shuttle back to L2, we packed our raw nerve and determination and headed east. We decided to spend the night in their camp since it had taken us most of the day to hike out to the work site. Sally seemed overjoyed, even relieved, to have us stay and Wufei dove head first into researching Heero’s claims. Apparently, recording tremors was not all that exciting. The tension between the two of them was thick and uncomfortable. I could tell they’d been sniping at each other and were holding their tongues because of our presence. We needed to find a way to ease the tension or this little union wouldn’t stand a chance, but what to do? Wufei was obviously more than a little interested in investigating the refinery, and Sally had no objections to calling it quits on their current assignment but the idea was to get them both to L4 intact and willing to dance with each other. It struck me that Sally was quite a bit older than him but he was mature for his age in most respects. Hell, he’d been married and a widower before the age of fifteen. Not to mention that whole Gundam pilot/terrorist/soldier thing. They had a lot in common and they obviously cared for each other, so it seemed reasonable that they might stand a chance together if given a push in the right direction. It was worth a shot. It was late evening and we found ourselves sitting around the campfire drinking a cup of after dinner coffee while we listened to Wufei grouse about the poor satellite reception when I decided to make an effort to lighten things up a bit and went searching for my music in my bag. Thanks to that modern technology that our Chinese friend was so heatedly cursing about in; I think it was Mandarin; it was hard to tell with him growling like that, I was able to provide a subtle change of mood. I’ve been told I have a rather eclectic taste when it comes to music and Podely, my palm sized player and storage device, was well equipped for just about any occasion. I set it up beside me, the tiny speakers thrumming to life with the rich, soothing sounds of some of the best smooth jazz I had ever downloaded and offered my companions a warm smile as I relaxed back and tucked my hands behind my head in the hope that they would follow suit. “That’s nice,” Sally smiled visibly relaxing right along with me. I always liked Sally. She’s like one of the guys. There’s nothing prissy or artificial about the woman, which, in my mind, made her a pretty good prospect for Wufei. “It’s distracting,” Wufei commented dryly, stabbing at his keyboard. “Broken Wings,” Heero said softly, slipping down along the pack he was leaning against until he was laid back as casual as you please and I gaped openly at him. “You know it?” I asked softly, totally confounded that he knew the song. “Melissa Forbes,” he confirmed turning his eyes slowly up to regard me and if for only a moment I felt as if I were looking into the night sky. “It’s so sad.” Sally sighed, letting the crackle of the fire and the soothing notes of Melissa’s thick tone wash over her until she was inspired to turn her gaze upward and take in the splendor of the distant stars. Wufei had stopped his incessant tacking on his laptop to listen more closely, the lines around his eyes fading until he once again resembled the seventeen year old he was. “It’s beautiful,” he finally interjected giving up on the research and setting his equipment aside. “Yes,” Heero intoned, but the sound of his voice was not something I’d ever heard from him before. It was bass and throaty and I felt it in my spine when he added, “It is,” and blushed right down to the roots of my hair for some reason. I’m not sure if it was the complement on my choice of music or the fact that he’d been looking at me when he’d said it, but it left me feeling very warm and oddly embarrassed, so I just closed my eyes and laid back to listen. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still watching me though, so it was a great relief when Sally spoke again. “Do you miss being out there, Wufei?” she asked, still gazing at the open sky. It wasn’t perhaps the most sensitive thing for her to ask, I suppose, but she tended to be on the blunt side of things most of the time. Wufei knew this about her and didn’t appear to take her forwardness the wrong way. Still, he took a long moment to pause and gaze up into the darkness before he answered with a simple... “Yes”. “Then go back,” Heero deadpanned. My wasn’t he wordy tonight! The last thing I wanted was to remind the guy of what he’d lost. He was supposed to be moving on into the future here! “I wouldn’t mind working off-planet for awhile,” Sally commented. Well that sounded... promising. And that starry-eyed expression on her face was giving me hope that things might work out after all. Until Wufei made a sudden and hasty retreat. “If you’ll excuse me,” he breathed quickly and was suddenly ducking into his tent. What the hell? “There’s nothing for him to go back to,” Sally sighed softly. I could feel the pain in her voice, see the compassion in her eyes and knew beyond the shadow of a doubt the woman cared deeply for her partner. “Way to go He-man,” I scolded my partner, adding a token poke in the ribs with the toe of my boot as punishment, but he only chuckled softly then sobered and gazed into the sky himself. “Sometimes it’s necessary to visit the past before you can find the future,” he said and my spine did that tingly thing again. Sometimes I got the feeling maybe he was the one that got it and I was the one that was clueless. “Yes,” Sally replied with some note of finality in her voice that made it no surprise when she rose to retire. “But his past doesn’t exist anymore,” she reminded us before offering a sad little smile and returning to her tent. “Maybe I should’ve played eighties pop,” I sighed as the music changed to Jeff Smith’s `Dance with You All Night` and let the sultry notes of the guitar and sax soothe my aches and pains just laying back to enjoy the cool evening air. It was some time before Heero spoke again, and I found myself set off balance again by words I never thought I’d hear him speak. “Duo? Do you ever look at the moon when you’re on Earth?” There was a time when I would have pulled off a fingernail to know that he was able to enjoy such things. I always wondered if he ever stopped long enough to notice. “Uh... yeah, of course,” I stammered, feeling oddly warm inside again. This peace thing was apparently really good for him. It made me happy to think so. “Look,” he said suddenly reaching out to draw me over so I could see where he was pointing. “You can see L1 from here,” he observed and sure enough there it was; a bright silver reflection in the ink black sky. “Hey,” I smiled, laying my head beside his in this sort of comfortable, up-side-down position that put our ears next to each other as we rested head to head on the warm Earth. “You can see Citus A, too,” I grinned though the nebula was less than a spec in the sky. Man, but it was so clear that night. It was nothing like being in outer space, but that only seemed to make it all the more enchanting. We laid there for hours mapping out the heavens and arguing over which of the faint dots were actually M17 or the Blackeye Galaxy while Podely sang its soft songs and finally lulled us to sleep. When I woke to the brightening morning sky it was to find myself in that same position, my head and Heero’s resting together where we had apparently reached out to one another in the night for warmth. I was struck with the knowledge that he smelled sort of sweet. Like... it’s hard to describe but... warm linen? Or fresh cut, sweet hay on a hot summer day. Shit, never mind, he just smelled sweet somehow. He also had wrapped his arm up and around and entangled my shoulders in it. I was aware that I had done the same and began to work myself free of the embarrassing position before he woke up, but I only managed to cause him to stir and just about swallowed my tongue when he moved in to snuggle me in his sleep. My reaction served to wake him, however, which gave me my out and I took it quickly, finding myself suddenly jerked right back off my feet when I tried to stand and found my braid was still clutched in Heero’s hand. “Sorry,” he stammered looking as mortified as I felt as he did his best to move quickly away from me. I just lay there on my back, winded and trying to get a grip on my hammering heart. “S’ok,” I returned, rolling away as well. “We leaving early?” I asked needlessly, but I was feeling unreasonably nervous. “Yeah,” he barked back, managing to not look at me and not offend me at the same time as he hurriedly gathered his things. “K,” I nodded, stupidly in my opinion. “I’ll, umm, go wake Wufei.” It seemed the logical thing to do. Wufei was not happy to be roused at the break of day, and I thought Sally was going to drown me in my coffee, but we made it out of there in record time. They stayed behind to finish up the work they’d been doing and agreed to meet us on L2 in two weeks time. In the mean time, Heero was expected to gather whatever information he could on the possible refinery that probably didn’t exist and I had to try to teach Hilde the fine art of discretion without her catching on. It crossed my mind to offer to trade tasks with Heero, but I’m pretty sure he would have hurt me, so I kept my big mouth shut. Over the next two weeks Heero managed to make himself pretty scarce, running off for days at a time, to do his job he claimed, but I still think he just didn’t want to be anywhere near Hilde while I was working with her, the coward. Hell, after the second day I didn’t want to be there! I started by mentioning Trowa as often as possible hoping to desensitize her to the subject but it only seemed to annoy her and send her off into huffy rants about Catherine and her overbearing posture where he was concerned. The worst part was that by the end of the first week I was getting the feeling the only thing the girl actually felt for him was some sort of school girl crush because nothing she said was based on any reality. I continually had to remind her that he was a mercenary and a soldier but she’d just sigh that dreamy sigh and go on about how great he looks in spandex and gloves. Now, whereas I couldn’t argue the point it was becoming painfully clear that all she could see was glitter and gluteus maximums and that is just not what Trowa Barton is all about. I was getting desperate and was more than glad that Heero had returned late into the second week. It was a long shot but he’d spent more time with Trowa than any of the rest of us so I figured maybe he’d have something more to offer. “Hey man,” I called amiably as I strode into the yard where Heero was tinkering with an old Leo ion drive. “You busy?” “No,” he replied, pushing himself out from under the bulk of the equipment. His face was smudged with grease and he was wearing that same kind of green tank top he’d worn so much during the war and I couldn’t help but smile. He really did look kind of ridiculous sitting there on the ground in the middle of my junkyard like that. Weird thing is, six months before and he’d have told me to get lost and never stopped working. “What’s the matter?” he asked wiping his hands as he got up. “We might need a new angle,” I sighed. I could see Hilde moving around in the kitchen inside as she cleaned up after dinner and paused to consider her for a moment. “You were right about her interest in Trowa,” he said supportively leaning beside me against the drive he’d been working on. “Yeah,” I snorted. “But I can’t seem to get her past the beef cake and glamour.” “She just doesn’t know him that well yet,” he countered. “What do you think he’d like in a girl?” I asked. “Why are you asking me?” he retorted. “Well,” I reasoned, pulling one leg up and pushing back to sit on the drive so I could face him, “you know him better than I do.” “I know he prefers KL32 Mags to Sidney Rockets,” he chuckled, flashing what I can only describe as a smart ass look from under his bangs. “But I have no idea what he might like in a woman,” he stated flatly but I could hear the teasing under the tone. “You are mocking me,” I sighed trying not to grin and failing. “Why don’t you just give it a rest and see if having Sally around helps when she and Wufei arrive?” he suggested. Sounded like a plan to me. I was exhausted just thinking about it so I nodded and turned my attention to other things. “What’re you doing anyway?” I asked checking out the drive a little closer now that my mind was clearing a bit. “There’s a housing for this drive in the back lot,” he reminded me. The old suit had been there since before the war actually. I’d never even looked twice at the empty hull but I recalled it now that he’d mentioned it. “It should be useful on the Candon job,” he explained. “We might need the mobility.” “No shit?” I replied bending down to get a better look at his repairs. I hadn’t considered it and it wasn’t really necessary but it would be nice to know it was available. “That was really cool of yo...” I began but when I turned back to look at him he was smiling and I kind of lost track of what I was saying. I can’t say I’d ever seen him smile like that before. Peace looked really damn good on him. “You wanna help?” he asked letting the smile quirk into that little smirk he’s so good at and I felt myself blushing for no reason again and looked away. “Sure. You got a fusion torch out here?” “In the tool box.” “What the hell di’ju do to the wiring harness? Christ…” I grumbled examining the jumble of colored wire. “I had to bypass a few circuits,” he chuckled and we crawled under the assembly together. The next thing I knew it was dawn, and Hilde was growling about us staying up all night working and I was sorry the day cycle had rolled around. It had been a lot of fun to work with Heero again even though we’d argued over everything from how to wire a hydraulic control panel relay to what color my eyes are. They are violet, not purple. I think he’s color blind. “You’re both filthy,” Hilde was grousing while we pulled our aching bodies out from under the machinery. “I’ve already made breakfast,” she added huffily. “Again,” she emphasized taking that ‘uh huh, that’s right’ stance women seem to be born knowing how to do. “Sorry.” I chuckled for no good reason but the silly grin on Heero’s face was making me feel a bit giddy. Gods, I was so tired all of a sudden. “I’ll make dinner tonight,” I promised. “You’ll have to,” she told me. “I’m going to visit Marcus tonight, remember?” “Oh shit, that’s right,” I replied ignoring the rolling of her eyes and choosing to answer Heero’s questioning glance instead. “Her brother,” I explained. “He lives in the central band in the K section on the other side. She won’t be back until tomorrow.” “I could make something,” he offered. “Naw, man, you’re a guest,” I countered. “Is that all I am?” he asked and just about knocked me right back off my feet with the question. “Um.. I.. uh.. wh...” shit. “Of course not,” Hilde came to my rescue and saved me from choking on my foot. The last thing I wanted to do was offend him but I seriously didn’t know how to answer. “You’re family,” she smiled just as effortlessly as you please and I suddenly felt like a total moron. “Come on,” she went on curling her hand into the crick of his arm and leading him away into the house. “I’ll show you what we have in the kitchen,” she was saying but her eyes were glancing back at me with this oddly affectionate reprimand. “You might want to go shopping though…” I used my rag to wipe the fried egg off my face and followed, but I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d just missed something pretty important. We decided to shower before we ate, or rather, Hilde insisted that we shower before we ate since we were both covered in dirt and grease, so I went to clean up first while she helped him make a grocery list. I just about fell on my ass when I opened the door and ran head long into Heero. He’d stripped to his boxers and had a towel draped over one shoulder and I bounced off his chest like I’d run into a brick frigging wall! By all that’s holy, I swear the guy’s got the same density as cobalt steel. “Geez, man,” I groused regaining my balance. “Warn a guy, will’ya?” “Next time,” he grinned and it made me just want to smack him. “You might wanna wait ten minutes for the water to heat back up,” I told him, moving toward the door but he apparently had no intention of making way so I was forced to squeeze by him in the narrow doorway sucking in as far as I could so as not to maul him on my way out. “You should get some sleep,” he advised turning
sideways now that I was outside, the prick. “Blood shot doesn’t
really go with violet,” he smiled, then closed the door in my
face and I was left staring dumbstruck at the steel gray panel. Well
shit. Maybe the problem here wasn’t so much that he was color
blind as he was just an ass! “Hey,” I called softly as I padded quietly along, because anything more would have seemed intrusive in the low light and oddly placating scene in my living room. He looked up at me, up because he was sitting on the floor leaning back against the couch. There were two plates of something that smelled decadently delicious on the coffee table in front of him and the vid was on but the sound was turned down almost inaudibly. My mouth suddenly felt like someone had poured sand down my throat and I felt the sudden urge to go find a shirt when I noticed he was wearing this deep blue, silky looking button up. It hung open, baring his chest and stomach and it took me a second to identify it as his silk PJ’s, but he was still one up on me since I wasn’t wearing a shirt at all. I don’t know if it bothered him but he definitely noticed because I saw his eyes look me over and ended up crossing my arms over my chest. “What’s all this?” I managed to push past the fleshy lump my tongue had suddenly become. “Chicken Curry,” he smiled, lifting his hand to display the chopsticks expertly clutched in his fingers as he smirked, “Asian style.” It was then that I noticed the pillows he was sitting on and the pile meant for me along the adjoining edge of the table. It was so simply elegant, the mismatched salt and peppershakers, paper napkins folded like linen, a stubby emergency candle burning under the overturned, transparent iris of an Aries. “You did all this?” I asked forgetting my shyness in favor of more pertinent subjects. Like plopping my skinny ass down on those pillows and putting that Curry behind my ribs were it belonged. “I can cook,” he retorted dryly, opening my chopsticks and handing them to me. “I know that,” I retorted. “But all this,” I said, motioning to the candle and napkins and, I finally realized, the video taped fireplace on the vid screen. “You disapprove?” he asked. It is a very eerie feeling to hear uncertain expectation in Heero Yuy’s voice. If I wasn’t totally off balance before, that sure as hell rocked my axis. “Naw, man it’s nice but…” “Isn’t that reason enough?” he cut me off. I sat there staring at him like some kind of total spaz but the inside of my head was suddenly moving too fast for me to keep up. I think he could tell because he looked way too smug smirking at me as he stabbed a piece of chicken and brought it to his lips and suddenly everything was moving in super-slow-mo. I swear my brain took in the moment frame by frame so it could torture me with it in minute detail at a later time. I am not unaware of my attraction. It’s just that whenever it bubbles up to the point I can’t ignore it, like when he gently parted his lips and took that bit of chicken between his teeth. Gods, I could see the tip of his tongue coming up to taste the spiced sauce. Shit... where was I? Oh yeah, anyhow, it never fails that when one of these moments catches me off guard, a vision of Heero and Relena dancing together on some puffy pink cloud meanders along and melts whatever dream my mind was trying to form. “What about Relena?” I heard myself say, and found my eyes were now studying my dinner. “What?” he replied, and I found my chest constricted with the sound of it. Why did he sound hurt? “She deserves a shot at this too,” I told him, hoping for once I wasn’t stepping over a line that would get me nailed to the wall praying for mercy. “I don’t think she’s really interested in a companion,” he replied dejectedly. It was amazing how quickly the wind had just vanished from his sails. I can’t say it didn’t hurt, it always does; but like it or not he deserved a shot at this as well. “You haven’t exactly given her a chance,” I reminded him gently, bracing for the inevitable explosion my meddling usually gains, but it never came. What was left of his earlier mood bled away with a huge sigh of frustrated defeat as he dropped his chopsticks into his half eaten plate and sat back. He was quiet for a very long time just staring at nothing, thinking, and I let him. This wasn’t a subject that usually garnished good results between us, so it was necessary to tread cautiously. “What would you do?” he finally asked. “You might start by not treating her like an infectious disease,” I snorted softly. “That kind of relationship demands a touch of the physical ya know? You gotta stop acting like you’re gonna shatter if she holds your hand.” I felt my heart skip a beat when his eyes turned to look at my hand as I stirred my rice absently. “Have you ever..?” he asked, leaving the question open and for a moment I felt my face flame at the implication, but he couldn’t possibly have been asking that! “Sure,” I stammered, setting my chopsticks down. “Sister Helen used to hold my hand all the time.” Christ, he’d looked like he’d swallowed a whale there for a second. “Was it... nice?” he inquired almost shyly, and my damn pulse did that tumble down the hill thing again. We were treading on dangerous ground for me but I wasn’t going to bail on him now. He needed this. “Yeah, it was,” I smiled, offering him my hand in the hope that it might encourage him to be more open with his touch. I could not begin to tell you all the feelings that flooded through me when he took me up on the offer. I almost wanted to pull back and retract the offer. My hands. They’re not pretty, they’re not soft and they sure as hell aren’t feminine. They’re calloused and scarred and looked knobby and broken resting in the warm cradle of his palm but... it felt good. Really good. So good, in fact, that I became aware of the fact that I was trembling too late, and when I glanced up to see if he’d noticed the look in his eyes just about knocked me senseless. I ended up spilling my drink I jerked away so hard. “Ah shit, sorry!” I grimaced, moving as quickly as I could to keep the tea from drenching the carpet. “Sorry... my fault,” I muttered sopping up the spill with my napkin. “Duo.” “I got it. Hand me your napkin.” “I am not in love with Relena Peacecraft,” he said evenly, holding the napkin out to me, but all I could manage was to stare past it into his eyes. “What?” I asked intelligently. “Not the way you think I am,” he went on, and I’m afraid I blinked at him. “Not the way she wants me to be,” he concluded, covering my hand with his napkin and I finally snapped out of it and let him help me finish cleaning up the spill. I swallowed the first few things that tried to crawl out of my throat. I had been so sure. We all had, but Heero wasn’t someone that would speak of things like that lightly. He knows himself better than most people know their own names, so if he said he wasn’t in love with Relena, I had no reason to doubt him. Still… “But... I thought...” “You thought wrong,” he half whispered and I was suddenly aware of the fact that he was... very close. I couldn’t think. His hand was on mine, the napkins bunched up under our fingers, his grip firm. The warmth of his cheek was so close to mine I found myself growing dizzy from the rush of elation gurgling inside me, my mind grasping desperately for something tangible to latch onto. “Quatre,” I heard myself breathe. “What?” he grumbled sitting back suddenly. “Quatre and Relena,” I said, clinging to the only thought that had presented itself and he... growled. He laid his head back on the couch and just growled. “No wait,” I persisted. “It makes sense right? If you’re really not in love with her then he’d be the next best choice.” Why did I get the feeling he wasn’t really listening to me? “They come from the same station right?” I persisted growing fonder of the idea as I spoke. “They’re both into politics and come from old money. Come on, man.” It took him a long moment but he finally lifted his
head and gave me this little noncommittal nod and picked up his chopsticks.
We spent the rest of the evening talking over the possibilities of
a union between our two politician friends. Or, well, I talked while
he grunted appropriately and ate his rice one grain at a time. We
ended up sleeping there in the living room, me on the couch and him
on the floor on the pillows he’d piled up for us to sit on. I
don’t think either of us slept more than a couple of hours because
of our long day nap, but it was enough to get our nights and days
switched back around. I woke before dawn to find him missing again
but that was nothing uncommon lately. Especially when he knew I was
going to be dealing with Hilde so I tugged on my bootstraps, gathered
my determination and started formulating a plan to off load the entire
thing on Sally the moment she arrived. The fact that Heero was not
in love with Relena was of no consequence. Really, it wasn’t.
~ * ~ tbc... |
