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"nakodo shimei"Written By: t-shirt View art work for 'Nakodo Shimei": Click HERE Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: post-war cannon, Fluff, sap, WAFF ^-^,
slight angst, mention of lemon Pairings: (eventual 3x4, 1x2), 5+all Beta reader: mechante-fille Summary: Duo’s unease over his fellow pilot’s
lack of happiness in their new world of peace leads to a daring plan
to rectify the problem. "nakodo shimei "
DUCK! It is not a wise idea to goad Heero Yuy. I was reminded of this fact when my mouth managed to once again betray me, forcing me to either duck as my mind had screamed in warning or take a basketball in the head at warp seven. He did give me some warning, using a rebound shot off the pavement to bank the ball into the backboard where it bounced solidly into the tattered net. I’m still not quite sure exactly how we found ourselves at the Second Street neighborhood goal post on the outer quarter of L2, but I never really stopped to question it. It seemed natural that Heero would turn up sooner or later. “Hey!” I groused. “You wanna leave my head where it is!?” I grumbled but he looked entirely unconcerned with my ranting. In fact, if I didn’t know better I’d say his expression was downright smug. “You’re down by two,” he replied unrepentantly as he retrieved the ball. I should have seen it coming; I did see it coming, but too late to counter when he suddenly side stepped, spun and did that sweet little move where he jumps his entire height off the ground and shoots nothing but net. I can never hear him when he hits the ground on that one. “Make that three” he grinned. Well, he’d found a way to shut me up for a second. “Two, fly boy” I corrected, snatching the ball away before he could get his grubby hands on it again. “That last one doesn’t count. It was my lead in,” I reminded him taking a shot, but I was off balance because the SOB is just as good at blocking as he is at shooting. Bounced me with his shoulder, the cheat. No way I was going to let him get away with that shit, but when I dove for the ball he was right on it and we ended up going down in a tumbling heap. This was pretty much the scene, Heero and I, scratching and clawing and wrestling and laughing our asses off fighting over the basketball, when a familiar yet oddly intoned greeting came to our ears. “Duo?” We stopped. We were hopelessly tangled up in a sweaty, dirty, scruffy knot in the middle of a parking lot in the dimming evening light, but all the determination to win the ball just kind of bled away at the sound of Quatre’s mild amusement. “Quatre!” I barked, suddenly grasping the full impact of the moment. I hadn’t seen the blond boy since the end of the war. We still kept in touch through e-mail and the occasional vid call, but I hadn’t actually seen him face to face in over three months. “Hey man!” I grinned, untangling myself from Heero so we could both stand up. “Heero?” he chuckled sounding as surprised as I had felt when I found the Japanese boy on my street corner the day before. “Hello Quatre,” Heero greeted nodding politely as he tucked the ball under one arm and took that stance I got so used to during the war, the one that seems to radiate a five-foot perimeter force field around him. Standoffish doesn’t really describe it, but it’s the closest I can get. I hadn’t seen it in awhile, and I can’t say I liked how it felt. “It’s good to see you,” I breathed, still trying to catch my breath. I know the smile on my face must have seemed a little dopey, but I was still pumped up from the game. “What brings you to L2?” “The relief and restoration effort,” he smiled, though it seemed a bare shadow of the bright sunshine that had once radiated from him. Upon closer inspection he looked… really tired. “We’ve come for an assessment of the damage,” he explained. “You should’ve told me,” I scolded him playfully. “I didn’t think I’d have time to get away, but…” he paused, his blue/green eyes darting from me to Heero and back again. “Am I interrupting?” he asked cautiously. “Of course not!” I couldn’t help glancing back at Heero to see his reaction as I cupped an arm around Quatre’s shoulder and headed him out of the parking lot. Heero didn’t seem put out about the company so I went with it. “Why don’t you come back to the house with us? I’ll make some tea and we can visit.” He too, gave into the need to look to our silent companion before he relaxed into that soft, almost sad little smile again and nodded. Hilde was still working when we got back. I hadn’t been thrilled about working with her after all was said and done. For some reason the girl had developed some kind of mentor complex about me during the war, and everything she did appeared to have some basis in her need for my approval. I suppose she needed guidance and since I was willing to give it she’d just naturally latched onto me, but honestly. What she needed was a boyfriend to dote over and that was definitely not me. “Hey,Hilde,” I smiled casually when we entered. I saw her look to our current houseguest with her usual curious congeniality, her expression brightening somewhat when Quatre stepped in behind him. “Have you ever met Quatre?” I asked heading for the stove while our guests moved to take seats at the small, foldable metal table where we ate. “I don’t believe so,” Quatre smiled in his eloquent way, pausing before sitting to offer her his hand. “I’m Quatre Rabarba Winner,” he intoned amiably, softly touching her outstretched fingers, and I swear to the gods the girl blushed. I guess after my rather, ahem, brash company, Quatre was a bit like a polished gem. “Of course,” she replied after a moment retrieving her hand slowly. “You’ve done so much to help the people since the end of the war,” she smiled. It was nice to hear some of the respect and admiration most of the population felt being put into words for him. He deserved whatever praise was offered, that’s for sure. The guy never even slowed down after that last battle. He and Relena had teamed up and were blazing a trail no one was likely to miss in their efforts to settle the peace and restore the colonies and Earth. “How’s the effort going anyway?” I asked, busying myself with making the tea. Hilde kept some around to have with her morning paper, but I rarely drank the stuff. “Slow,” he breathed through a sigh that spoke of long days and sleepless nights. It made my stomach hurt for him even though I had to disagree. “You’re already reconstructing on Earth, right?” I pointed out, dumping the tea in the basket of the percolator. Why couldn’t she just use the little bags? “Yes,” he sighed again. “And on L4, but there’s still so much to see to.” “It’s only been three months, Quat,” I snorted softly. “You’re doing an amazing job. Give it time.” Why in the hell are there two pots to one of thosethings? Which one goes where? “I suppose,” he sighed again. “How’s Relena holding up?” I asked. I couldn’t help noting the almost imperceptible reaction in Heero’s eyes at the mention of the Princess’ name. It’s still a mystery to me why they never hooked up. She sure made it clear enough she was interested, but after Heero just walked away into the bustling streets of Tokyo, whatever might have been between them just seemed to nod out. No one spoke of it anyway. “Relentless,” he half chuckled. “She’s been a driving force for us all.” “Seems that single minded determination of hers has paid off then.” I laughed lightly because that’s all the present situation would allow. Quatre appeared less than enthused about just about anything we spoke of, and Heero pretty much abandoned any active role in the conversation early on. Hilde knew little about the subject matter and, as always, waited for my lead before commenting. By the time the visit was over, what little joy I had found in Heero’s reappearance had been squashed mercilessly under the heel of the collective depression. Quatre left us with the same heavy sigh and dimly lit expression he’d arrived with, though he did seem a tad less stressed out. It wasn’t until almost two weeks later when Heero, Hilde and I decided to visit Trowa at the circus during a business trip to Earth that it started to sink in just what was going on. Hilde had perked up the moment I mentioned the green-eyed acrobat, her melancholy mood suddenly shifting to one of delighted anticipation as the day of our visit approached. Catherine was less than happy to see us, of course, but then she’d claimed full rights over Trowa a long time ago. You’d think she’d be happier about how things turned out, but she was as snippy and possessive as ever. It made me wonder if she’d loosen up a little if Trowa finally broke down and peeled her out of that skintight costume she wears. From the look of the pucker in her face he hadn’t even come close. However, he himself did seem somewhat… amused… by our presence. “Hey Trowa!” I beamed genuinely glad to see him even if he couldn’t manage more than half a smile. “What’re you doing here?” Straight to the point, this one, but seeing as how he wasn’t looking at me I paused. When Heero declined to respond with more than a faint smile of his own, I decided maybe it was going be up to me after all. “We were in the neighborhood,” I informed him as brightly as one can to someone who is scowling at the bubbling girl at your side. “You remember Hilde?” I sighed unable to hold off the rolling of the eyes when she pushed past me eagerly in spite of his icy gaze. “Hi, Trowa!” she squeaked, already blushing furiously; her face flushing and her adoring expression kind of making me want to hurl. Things went downhill from there. Luckily, Catherine made sure our visit was kept short by finding somewhere else for Trowa to be. He barely got to ask about Quatre and Wufei, how things were going in the Colonies, and if Quatre and Relena had settled on a base of operations yet before he was desperately needed elsewhere. Hilde wilted the moment he left us, and couldn’t seen to shake the bitter resentment over Catherine’s interference. My revelation perplexed me. I couldn’t figure it out. We’d all come so far and given so much. We deserved this peace. We’d earned the right to some little slice of happiness, but for the life of me I couldn’t see any one of us actually enjoying ourselves. I decided to broach the subject with my unlikely tag along that evening after we’d retired to our room. “Are you happy, Heero?” “………What?” Ok. So maybe that was a little vague. “Since the war’s over,” I tried to clarify, making us both one of the hot ciders that were complimentary in the hotel. He just sat down and stared at me. I sighed. “Come on, man,” I half whined, wishing he’d just get it for once. “I mean, is it just me or is everyone we know completely miserable?” I handed him his mug before curling up in the other corner of the couch. He was quiet for a long moment before he asked, “Are you miserable?” I snorted “No,” and laughed. I don’t think it was the reaction he’d been expecting. “It’s only been three months,” I reminded him blowing gently over my mug to cool it before taking a sip. “Hell, I don’t even know what I want to do yet,” I confessed. “What about Hilde?” he asked evenly tasting his own drink. “Shit,” I retorted. “Do ya think she could have been any more obvious today?” I chuckled. “She seemed happy enough when Trowa was around,” he replied and for a moment I thought I caught the glimmer of a smile, but he took another drink and it was gone. “Prick,” I laughed. Heero’s a very subtle guy, but I’m not that thick. I know when I’m being mocked, and he finally gave into the chuckle. “I’m serious though,” I persisted. "Even Wufei. He called me last month looking for information on the docking net for a case he and Sally were working on, and even he seemed more irritated than usual.” Heero paused in his drinking to look at me and cock a brow. Damn but he can be exasperating! “You know what I mean asshole!” I groused slapping at him with a pillow that just grazed so as not to spill his cider. “Maybe they just need to get laid,” he laughed and my ears rang when my jaw hit the floor. “HEERO!” I gasped, caught utterly off balance by the uncharacteristic remark. Peace had awakened something inside the perfect soldier, something not altogether unwelcome. It showed in his smile and the almost giddy laughter spilling from him as he fought to keep me from pinching his ass with my toes. I had almost succeeded when it hit me, and I froze so solid he paused to consider me. “That’s it,” I breathed, letting the plan form in my mind, a huge grin spreading across my face as the mission lit that old fire in my eyes. “What’s… it?” he asked cautiously, not daring to move more than his mouth to speak. “They’re lonely,” I replied hoping it would be enough of an explanation for him to get the idea. Apparently it was more than enough because he very purposely pushed my feet away, sat his mug down and got up. “Heero!” I called, going after him but he hurried toward his bed. “Oh, come on!” I whined dancing in front of him. “Move,” he ordered sternly. “What harm can it do?” I persisted, grinning madly in spite of the solid scowl on his face. “They’re all already miserable,” I argued. “I am not a nakodo,” he stated quiet clearly. It took me a minute to pull the meaning of the word out of the Japanese file in my head, but when I did I couldn’t help the maniac grin. He got it! He really got it! “Nakodo Shimei!” I crowed, and I swear to the gods his eyes did that shutter thing like a camera lens when it takes a picture. I faltered and stepped back. He’s… scary when he gets like that. It took me a second to regroup. “You don’t have to play matchmaker,” I assured him. “Just run interference for me.” I grinned hopefully but from the look in his eyes he wasn’t buying it. It was beginning to look like ‘Mission Matchmaker’ was going to be a memory before it was born. I couldn’t help the deep sigh when he dismissed me altogether and stepped to move around me. “Why are you here?” I heard myself ask. I couldn’t make myself look at him, and from what I could see out of my peripheral view he was having the same problem. I hadn’t asked him that even once since his unexplained arrival over two weeks prior. It didn’t really matter, he was there and he wanted to hang out for awhile. His reasons were his own but at that moment, I wanted to know. There was a time of silence that followed in which I thought perhaps he wouldn’t answer, but then he replied very softly. “To decide my path.” It was an… unsatisfying answer at best. “Do they deserve any less than to find their own paths?” I asked, finally finding the courage to turn to face him, though all I could see was the side of his face as he gazed intently at nothing at all. “It’s none of my business,” he stated. “The welfare of our family and friends is precisely our business!” I found myself half growling. That damned… detachment of his had always infuriated me. I could not understand how the guy could offer up his life for the sake of a multitude of strangers, yet he couldn’t bring himself to intervene on his own friends’ behalf. “What the hell are you afraid of?!” I heard my voice rising, unsure exactly why my temper was up. “You think just ‘cause you let your chance pass, they shouldn’t get one!?” I probably should have shut up at that point, because his head snapped around and the look in his eyes was a definite warning, but I’ve never been one to back down once the challenge was made. “I’ve seen you face down some serious shit!” I growled. “I never thought you’d just walk away and not even tell her!” What the hell was I talking about? And why wasn’t I shutting up in the face of his mounting fury? “But you did, man! If that’s not just cowardly…” It was at this moment that he snapped and I found myself slammed against the wall of the hotel room gasping for air and apologizing profusely. “...s...sorry, man... calm down,” I rasped through the strangle hold he had on me, and thankfully his grip loosened, but I could see the edge of some tightly controlled emotion wavering in his eyes and logged that one away. Leave the Relena issue alone. I was well prepared to drop the entire idea and see if I could get out with my ass intact when he shocked me by asking… “Why?” I blinked. Ummm… “Why did you push me?” he went on and I felt that old familiar warmth in my chest. It’s a little like watching a child hold a puppy for the fist time. “Because I care,” I told him simply, and he released me completely. It is at times like this that I feel the overpowering urge to take him in my arms and hug him because I get the feeling he has never known what that sort of comfort feels like. “That’s what people who care about each other do,” I informed him. “If you’re unhappy, they try to help you change it.” I could see the argument in his eyes and decided to save him the effort of speaking by adding with a warm smile, “Even when you’re not sure you want it.” “I don’t see how finding them a mate will help,” he said, and I just about cracked a tooth grinning so hard. I had him! Yes! “Can’t hurt!” I quipped, happily dancing around him so I wasn’t against the wall anymore. I didn’t miss the long suffering sigh or the slight roll of his eyes in the process, but I was having too much fun going over mission parameters in my head to give it much thought. “I assume you have a plan,” he ground out, plopping down on the edge of his bed. “We should start with Trowa since we’re already here,” I suggested. “Catherine,” he deadpanned, falling back onto the bed. “Gods, I hope not!” I retorted, sitting Indian style on my bunk. There was no way I could lay down, there was too much to think about. “That woman’s got a rolling pin with his name on it in her future. No,” I said thoughtfully. “But we need to see how Trowa feels about her before we bring Hilde into the equation.” “Hilde?!?!” he barked, bolting upright with the most adorably incredulous look on his face. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. “But he hates her!” he reasoned. “He doesn’t hate her,” I argued. “He just doesn’t know her. And she’s totally hot for him, so it’s as good a place to start as any.” He was staring at me. “What?” Another little laugh found its way out of my throat when he shook his head and turned to burrow down into his covers without another word. “Heero?” I called as I turned out the lights and got a noncommittal grunt in response. “You’re my partner on this, right?” I wanted the commitment. What I got was something akin to a bear growling in its sleep. “Heero?” It was most gratifying to hear his grumbled but clearly spoken... “Ninmu ryokai”. ** I regretted pulling him in on my little hair-brained mission to see to it that our friends found the happiness they’d all worked so hard for when I saw that same guarded expression he always wore during the war the next morning. “Jesus, Heero,” I exclaimed, feeling the pain of my self-inflicted wound every time I glanced over at him. “Lighten up,” I smiled. “We’re not trying to blow their communications net.” I chuckled but it went over like a lead balloon. We were already at the fair grounds, though it was late morning and no shows were scheduled until that afternoon. Still, a circus is never idle, so we were forced to weave our way through the bustling workers and practicing performers in our search for the target. Heero seemed less than amused. “A mission without guidelines is doomed to failure,” he grumbled, side stepping a little man no more than two feet tall who just happened to roll across our path when his acrobatic group lost their grip on him. “Recon,” I clarified. Ya know, I never realized clowns practice in full make up, but it was an after thought while I chuckled at their attempt to ‘save’ the little poodle barking at the top of a loose ladder. “You just keep Trowa busy while I have a little chat with the Warden.” He seemed to settle into some groove now that he knew what his duties were, and moved on while I located our target. Or rather, Catherine’s target seeing as how she was the one throwing knives at him at the moment. It’s just a little creepy to see that empty expression in his eyes while he’s standing there staring at the point of a knife. It bothered me on a level I hadn’t expected that he was still capable of achieving that depth of... despondency? Detachment? We paused to watch while they finished out their session, but from the depth of the knives when they hit the board, Catherine was well aware of our presence, and she took her dear sweet time. If Trowa knew we were there he made no indication of it. Actually, I’d say he was totally cut off from the world around him if I didn’t know better. The reality was he was a Gundam pilot and could probably have given you my pulse rate when he was as focused as he appeared to be at that moment. As much as it obviously annoyed her, Catherine finally ran out of knives and was forced to acknowledge our presence. The icy glare she offered in greeting wavered under the arctic breeze coming from Heero’s cold blue eyes however, and I couldn’t help but grin. Game, set and match. She never stood a chance and turned quickly away to go retrieve her knives. Trowa wasted no time coming over to greet us with something more akin to curiosity in his expression, and it became painfully obvious that if left to their own devices he and Heero would probably starve to death waiting for the other to speak. However, Catherine took care of that problem. “Why are you here?” she demanded stepping up close to Trowa’s side. I made it a point to study his reactions to the girl and noted that her closeness didn’t appear to bother him. “We thought we’d treat you to lunch,” I smiled flashing a particularly comely expression her way. “We have work to do,” was her reply but Trowa was never one to follow the crowd. “Where to?” he asked, ignoring the girls blatant scoff of disapproval. “I don’t know,” I replied. “Do you have any preferences?” I asked Catherine in particular. The fact that I’d included her even when she obviously had no interest in accompanying us took her off guard, so I used the moment to once again offer her a warm and, I hoped, inviting smile. She blushed softly so I think I got it right. It took less than a second for her to regain her balance however, and her gray eyes lost all semblance of warmth. “You want to take him away again,” she suddenly accused, and that is when Heero decided to completely abandon me and turned away. Great. “Actually I was more concerned...” I began but was distracted when I caught Heero out of the corner of my eye picking up a katana that was leaning against a practicing sword swallower’s case. Trowa was watching him rather intently as well and I almost cracked a smile as I realized he was doing just what I’d asked him to by taking Trowa’s focus off me. I needed to see his true reactions and the only way to do that was to catch him by surprise. “...with taking you away,” I finished more confidently. The comment got our young gymnast’s attention but the fact that Heero had suddenly done this little spin/slice move as if testing the blade and five seconds later the case fell neatly in two seemed to amuse him more. Catherine on the other hand was... less than amused. “Are you insane?” she snipped, moving a step away from me, but I managed to smile at her and examine Trowa’s mild interest in our conversation at the same time. It seemed Heero’s resultant reprimand for having severed the swordsman’s case was minutely more entertaining. “You’re not honestly asking me for a date?!” the girl asked incredulously. “Well,” I smiled chuckling lightly as if it were due to our confrontation but in all honesty; I couldn’t help laughing at how Heero was winning the argument without ever speaking a word. He just stood there with the sword in his hand and the guy, who stood a good head and a half taller than him, slowly shrank back until he was apologizing for yelling at him. “Honestly, Trowa!” she interrupted heatedly. “Couldn’t you choose friends with more manners!?” she huffed turning on her heel to storm away. “She’s not so cold when you’re not a Gundam pilot,” Trowa deadpanned still watching Heero. “Oh,” I replied doing my best to sound injured instead of amused as I watched Heero return the performer’s sword and accept his apology with a curt nod. The guy couldn’t get away fast enough. Having Heero around again certainly never left a dull moment. “I thought maybe she was already involved,” I probed. “She is,” he said and my heart sank a little. It wasn’t like I didn’t like the girl but she seemed entirely wrong for Trowa and he certainly wasn’t happy if that was the case. No one with that emptiness in their eyes is whole. He altered my next line by adding “They don’t like to advertise.” “And you’re ok with it?” I asked instead. “I doubt she’d keep seeing him if I didn’t approve,” he snorted. “She’s pretty big on this sibling idea of hers.” I smiled and visibly relaxed as Heero rejoined us. “So you really have a family now, huh?” I said offering my Japanese partner a small smile of gratitude. His expression was nonplussed at best. “I don’t mind,” Trowa said while he and Heero did that telepathic thing they do with their eyes that I am never privy to, but I got the feeling he was commending Heero for some unknown reason or deed. Maybe he didn’t care for the swordsman or something. I wouldn’t know, I don’t really speak eyelash all that well. “It’s nice to have a sister,” he said then, and clinched the deal. There was nothing between him and Catherine that would stand in the way of his getting to know Hilde better. I worked on him over lunch and with Heero’s help managed to gain his interest in a visit to outer space. The vacation idea was quickly squashed, and his helping out on the Candon job I had coming up didn’t go over too well either, but when Heero mentioned that we would be on L4 the following month to attend a public awareness ball that Quatre and Relena were throwing, he agreed to accompany us. I hadn’t realized he was so interested in the rebuilding effort, but he ended up asking more questions on the subject than I’d ever known him to voice at once before. It made me wonder if he’d chosen the right path after the war. Perhaps he would have been happier helping to put right some of the damage the war had caused. It was a consideration. We left him with a promise to meet on L4 for the Gala and I started working on phase two of Mission Matchmaker. Chang Wufei. ~ * ~ tbc... |
