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"Secret Heart"Written By: t-shirt Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: A/U Romance Light angst, mild language,
mild lemon Summary: The two top pilots of an elite facility experience enlightenment through the unexpected introduction of the zero system. "Secret Heart" Part 2 It couldn’t be! But that had been real…hadn’t it? Or was I so far gone my delusions were invading my days as well? I wasn’t sure of anything anymore but I have undergone some of the finest training known to man so I beat a path to the duty roster and headed for Agent Bays current class. He had been scheduled with Duo two nights past and would have information pertaining to his patrol duties that night. “What?” he asked backing away while I advanced. “Did you see or speak to Duo between the hours of 11:00P.M. and 3:00A.M. during your patrol night before last?” I repeated loosing patience with his nervous uncertainty. “I… we were on watch…” “11:00P.M.!” I growled snatching him off his feet by the scruff of his collar. “No!” he gasped. “He…never checked in that night!” I dropped him like a hot brand and headed for Quatre and Trowa’s room but when I got there they were out. It took almost an hour to locate them where they had decided to take a picnic up on the roof and I was momentarily stunned by the fact that Trowa had him pinned buck naked to the tarmac but my need for information outweighed my desire to respect their privacy. “What do you mean?” Quatre was saying while he tried desperately to control the ramped color on his face while he got dressed. “Is something wrong with Duo?” “That is what I am investigating,” I replied trying to keep it cool though the idea that I had actually spent the past two nights rocking Duo’s world was making me feel like I’d slipped a notch. “Did you see him last night after 10:00?” “No,” he replied glancing at Trowa who shook his head. “But he’s usually retired by then. Hiiro!?” he gasped when I turned to leave. “What’s going on?” “I’m not sure,” I replied without turning around. “But I’m going to find out.” I’d never felt a rage the likes of which was bubbling in my crawl. It was the dirtiest attempt to undermine a fellow agent I had ever heard of. I couldn’t believe he’d stoop so low as to seduce me then pretend it hadn’t happened just to make me believe I couldn’t handle zero!! And I’d fallen for it! It wasn’t bad enough I’d let him defile my body but he’d managed to desecrate my heart in the bargain and I was fit to be tied when I caught site of him in the courtyard. I was numbly aware of the people between us skittering away when I advanced but my mind was on only one thing. “Hiiro!?” Wufei gasped just narrowly jerking Duo out of the way before I ploughed into him. “Stand and fight!” I snarled lunging again but with Wufei’s aid he eluded me. “What!?” he exclaimed running up a tree to back flip over my head and escape. “What the hell’s wrong with you!?” “I’ll not be toyed with!” I growled advancing but he’s a nimble little minx and managed to twist away. “What’re you talking about?” he gasped tripping over a clump of grass while he retreated but my victory was stolen away when Wufei hit me in the side. “YOU USED ME!!” I roared tossing Wufei at him knocking them both to the ground. “Never come to my room again!!” The next instant I was on them, Wufei was helplessly crushed between us but my hands hand found their way around Duo’s neck and I was prepared to make sure he understood the depth of my pain when he ripped my world asunder. “I’ve…never been to your room!” he rasped and I released him instantly because there was truth in his claim. I didn’t understand how it could be at first but he honestly believed what he was saying. I watched him cough and untangle himself from Wufei while the people in the yard gaped and whispered but it didn’t come clear until I suddenly remembered he had once piloted Wing Zero. “You don’t remember,” I accused feeling hurt and betrayed because of it. “You’ve lost it,” he rasped still rubbing his throat while Wufei helped him up and glared at me. “We have to see Une,” I informed him. “No shit,” he agreed and I wished heartedly for the days when my heart was steadfastly unaware. ** “Excuse me?” Duo inquired trying to assimilate the events of the past two days. “Wait,” he chuckled nervously. “You’re saying I showed up in your room.” “Yes,” I confirmed trying not to spontaneously combust under the watchful eyes of Une and Sally. “But I don’t remember it.” “We have confirmed the fact that it is possible for you to have visited Hiiro’s room in spite of your duties,” Une interjected. “However,” she went on eyeing me carefully as was Sally though I loathed the necessity to continue. “There is no conclusive evidence that you did.” “What makes you so sure Duo’s visit was real?” Sally asked clearly anxious to deduce the facts. “When he came to see you today,” I began wishing with all my might my tongue would fall out so I couldn’t speak. “He complained of…pain.” “Yes,” Sally nodded still confused. Une was watching me and Duo still looked arrogant and expectant. “Anal pain,” I pressed hoping they’d get it but even I knew what I was saying was vague. However, Duo’s skin had paled. “Why would this validate your opinion?” Une inquired. “Because,” I sighed heavily looking into Duo’s suddenly shiny eyes when I confessed, “When he came to me…he had sex.” “WHAT!?” he gasped jumping almost entirely over the back of the couch. If the wall hadn’t been there he’d have hit the ground running. “I’m sorry…’ I tried but he was totally freaking out. “He’s fucking insane!” he shouted scampering over behind Sally. “Why in the hell would I want to have sex with a guy?!” “Duo,” Une evenly intoned calming him somewhat. “It’s that zero system!” he suddenly snapped. “It’s fried his brain!” “Whereas, that is a viable possibility,” Sally interjected turning to face him. “The truth is easy enough to confirm.” “What?!” he exclaimed backing away. “Testing will be required,” she explained eyeing him knowingly. His face scrunched up angrily then suddenly set in determination. “All right,” he agreed. “But when his idiotic claim is proven false I want a formal apology and free snack cakes for a year!” Une’s left brow rose while he stormed out and I was left to explain, “We often bet with snacks.” I had no idea how to feel when the tests came back positive. My first concern was Duo and how he was taking it but there were so many conflicting emotions. I’d discovered I had very real, very deep feelings for him and had no idea what to do about it. The fact that he was obviously adverse to a relationship with a man was so utterly baffling I couldn’t put it together. He’d wanted me so badly during our time together I just couldn’t fathom his being unaware of his needs. Sally concluded that his short exposure to zero had indeed done more damage that they originally thought and prescribed treatments that would hopefully heal his mind. However, the events that had occurred between us had caused scars on both our hearts that weren’t going to be so easily mended. “What do you want?” he asked and I felt a pain grip my heart at the absence of light in his tone. “Are you all right?” I asked uncertain of how to say the things I really wanted to. “As compared to what?” he snorted refusing to look at me but his eyes weren’t really seeing the landscape out the window either. I didn’t know what to say. “If there’s anything I can do…” “You’ve done enough!” he snapped sending a sharp pain through my chest but it paled in comparison to the sorrow that filled me up when he quietly demanded, “Just go away.” “Duo, I…” “Why?!” he suddenly growled turning his righteous fury on me and I backed up a step in shock. “Why didn’t you kick me out or tie me down or do anything besides defile me!?!?” I’m afraid I stood staring at him in utter shock for a time before what he was saying finally sank in. He’d been totally unaware of what happened between us and still had no recollection of the tenderness that had opened my eyes and revealed my feelings for him. He obviously felt violated and betrayed and it was my inability to deny him that had made it so. “I’m sorry,” I sighed uncertain of what to do. “I just…” “Just what?!” he snapped coming off the cot. “Just figured you’d have a go at the psychotic looser! What sort of fucked up mind violates someone in that situation!?” “You’re the one that came onto me!” I countered growing angry as well. He wouldn’t even listen! “You didn’t have to accept!” he shouted. “It’s not that simple!” I snipped sulkily. “So you figured you’d just bang the nutcase and get a little thrill!?” “Of course not!” I growled loosing some of the steam. “I just…” “Just what!?” My eyes rose to regard him when I confessed, “I just…wanted you…so badly.” The expression in his eyes was indescribable. I didn’t know for a moment if he intended to kill me or simply walk out of the room. He chose to sit on the cot again much to my dismay then hung his head before peering up at me and asking, “What?” “I never realized,” I enthused daring to come closer. “But when you kissed me…” “Shit,” he sighed scrubbing a hand over his face but I was intent on making him understand. “No, listen,” I insisted. “I know it sounds strange but touching you like that,” I ignored the uncomfortable roll of his eyes, “It made me realize how deeply I care for you.” I had not expected him to eye me hard and inquire, ”You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” “What?” I blustered. “What does that have to do with anything?” He nodded knowingly and gathered his clothes as he was still wearing the examination gown. “Don’t sweat it,” he said and his suddenly dismissive attitude both angered and terrified me. “Lot’s of people think they’re in love after sex. You’ll get over it.” “Duo,” I growled loosing patience with him. “Go home, Hiiro.” “It was real!” I snapped nearing my wits end but he merely turned a sad eye on me and replied… “Not for me.” That was a lie, I knew it was because I’d felt the heat of his kiss and knew the honesty of his passion. He squeaked when I jerked him into my arms and struggled mightily while I kissed him but I’m considerably stronger than him so he was forced to endure until I felt his body wilt and his bones begin to tremble. “There had to be a reason you came to me,” I told him breathlessly holding him tight. “Please, if you could remember even just a little I know you’d understand.” “It was just...coincidence…” he panted then groaned when I kissed him again. It almost set my blood on fire when he melted in my arms and I had to lay him back on the cot to keep from dropping him. “No,” I insisted laying soft kisses along his neck. “It was real…just like this…you wanted me….that’s why.” “That’s why,” he breathed and my entire body tingled when his arms came around my neck. “Duo!” I gasped diving in for a long, deep kiss. “Hiiro!” We scrambled off the cot and stood smoldering in our shoes while Sally glared damnation at us. “What’s going on here!?” “We were just…” “Hiiro was trying to help me remember,” he told her and for a moment I glared until I realized it was the truth. “And?” she asked tapping her foot impatiently. “His touch is familiar,” he confessed steadfastly looking away. “Are you attracted to him?” Sally asked in the interest of science but I almost swallowed my tongue. I couldn’t help the hopeful light in my eyes while I waited for his reply. He stood for a moment then eyed me sideways and my blood sparked when his eyes traveled my frame as he replied, “Yes.” “I see,” she nodded relaxing somewhat. “That would explain your late night visits.” “But I don’t get it,” he persisted looking me over again. “I’ve never felt anything like that before.” “Sexual attraction often goes unnoticed between friends who believe there is no chance of a relationship,” Sally commented. “It could be that you never thought of it that way because you’re both male.” “Why does that matter?” I interjected fearing the conclusion that it should all end because of that fact. They both looked at me, Sally with a raised brow and Duo with mild curiosity. “Duo,” I persisted forgetting the doctor in favor of addressing him. “What we shared was as real as any love between a man and woman. I know it seems strange but…” “It’s not that strange,” he shrugged and my mind suddenly flashed on Quatre and Trowa. They were his best friends so surely he knew of their romance. My lips curled into a knowing grin. “Perhaps this feeling was trapped in the shadows of your heart,” I reasoned stepping closer to touch his arms. “But I’ve felt it and it’s real.” He was just looking at me, considering. “Let me help you realize it,” I begged cupping his face gently. He regarded me for a moment before his eyes shifted to Sally and he asked, “What am I supposed to do now?” I was most grateful when she cast a sideways smile and informed him, “That is entirely up to you,” before she eased out of the room. “Duo?” “I don’t know, Hiiro,” he sighed. “It’s a secret I’ve even kept from myself.” “Then we’ll ease it gently into the light,” I promised daring to draw a small kiss from the corner of his mouth. He sighed so softly it made me want to drown in the sound then opened his eyes and smiled. owari :)
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