|
"Countdown"Written By: t-shirt Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: R Warnings: Post War Cannon, Supernatural, Angst,
sap, mild language, very mild lemon Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 5+all Summary: When Hiiro is injured and left in a coma while assisting Duo in battle, the braided pilot is forced to fight for his partner’s life. However, strange dreams and hidden desires complicate matters when forces that seem bent on pulling the plug seemingly push Duo to the very brink of sanity. "Countdown" Ch 3 “Duo?” Trowa asked looking up from his work as I staggered in and plopped down in a chair in his office. It was nice; I had always felt comfortable in his space. “I’m gonna head back,” I told him hating the dejected sound of my tone. “You look…” he began but paused as if to choose his words carefully, “Oddly radiant. Did you sleep well?” “I think my brains gone into full denial,” I chuckled. Gods I was still so tired. “Bad dreams?” he asked softly. “Not exactly,” I laughed unable to rein it in before he caught the maniacal edge but things were starting to get very weird and I couldn’t reconcile why it was difficult to sit properly. Could one actually cause bodily injury through subconscious infliction? I had heard such claims before but never gave them any thought until I had to shift in my seat to ease the ache in my hindquarters. He cocked a curious brow but let it go. “Do you want me to drive you?” “Can I borrow your bike?” I asked flashing on the last time I had seen his bike. Had it been three weeks ago? No, more like five. We had gone on a cross-country road trip when Quatre got lonely and Trowa decided to drive upstate and visit him during a convention. “Why not take your own?” he grinned and I suddenly felt like slobbering all over him like some huge hound dog or something. “You salvaged it?” I smiled falling into step beside him. “You’re very good at wrecking a bike,” he smirked. “It just needed a love tap or two.” Ahhh, my baby. I felt my chest swell at the sight of it. My bike had become almost as important to me as Deathscythe since there was rarely a need to do anything more than practice with the mobile suits anymore. It didn’t fly and couldn’t blow the side out of a mountain but when I opened her up I felt like the world was mine. “Thanks,” I smiled donning my helmet. “I owe you one.” “Careful when you say that,” he grinned opening the garage door for me, “Quatre fully intends to collect.” I shot him a bird on my way out that left him laughing but suddenly all that mattered was getting back to Hiiro’s side. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up on end when I walked in to find Relena by his bedside instead of Wufei. “What are you doing here?” I growled ignoring the pain in her eyes in favor of checking Hiiro over. “I can’t bear to see him like this,” she replied softy dabbing her eyes. “Then don’t come.” What part of this was she missing? He seemed to be ok. “How can you just let him lie there like that?” she asked but her words were wondrous instead of angry and it took the edge off my ire. “Where’s Wufei?” “He went for coffee,” she sighed and I was moved when a tear ran down her cheek. “You should go home,” I told her leaning against Hiiro’s bed. I didn’t really recognize the protective posture of having myself between them until Wufei entered and paused to consider it. “Have a nice break?” I asked rather sarcastically and he glared but it was half-mast at best. “She’s not the enemy,” he informed me handing her the cup of coffee he had brought. “I know where the boundaries lie,” she grumbled and I couldn’t stop myself from leering at her when I inquired… “Do you?” “Did Trowa drive you?” Wufei asked strategically intercepting her next comment. “I’ve got my bike,” I informed him turning my attention back to Hiiro and almost falling flat on my ass when he was staring back at me. For a moment I almost shouted for help but then something clicked and I realized his eyes weren’t really open. It was another dream; or hallucination or whatever it was I was experiencing lately. It looked so real though, right down to that cocky gleam in his expression. “Are you ok?” Wufei asked and I just about pissed my pants but managed to hold it together. It would not do to let them find out I was seeing things, at least not until Hiiro really woke up. “Peachy,” I grinned. “You don’t have to hang around,” I told them. “I’m just gonna sleep.” “Trowa said you slept all afternoon.” “He called?” The little shit. “He thought you might like some company since you would probably be up most of the night,” he grinned. “Actually, I’m still pretty tired.” Didn’t have to lie about that. It was like the more Hiiro slept, the more I wanted to but the comment only made his brow wrinkle in concern. “We’re all exhausted from all of this,” Relena interjected staring blankly at Hiiro’s form. “I wish you would listen to reason.” “You’re reason being cut him off and let him die,” I snorted. “He’s already dead!” she snapped rising to her feet but she backed off pretty quick when I flashed a warning glance at her. “These machines are the only reason his body lives on,” she said softly as tears ran down her cheeks again but I had run out of sympathy for her. “He doesn’t want to die,” I informed her evenly. “Why would he want to live like this?” she sighed helplessly. “He’ll come back.” And I truly believed he would. He had to. “You’re letting your own desires cloud your mind.” “Maybe I’m not,” I grinned glancing over to find Hiiro’s eyes still open and smiling at me. “Maybe he told me so,” I grinned. “Told you what?” she retorted. “Don’t give up,” I repeated the words he had spoken in my dream. “Duo,” Wufei cut in looking at me so intently I wondered if he couldn’t see Hiiro’s open eyes as well. “Has he shown any sign of waking?” he asked cautiously going to peer at Hiiro’s face and I almost laughed when my comatose partner winked at me. “Not that anyone could see,” I shrugged. He paused for a moment eyeing me thoughtfully before they said their goodnights and he took Relena home. When I turned my attention back to Hiiro his eyes were silently closed once again and I felt a pain shoot through my chest as I understood it had been nothing more than my own mind willing it to be so. “I always knew you’d drive me nuts in the end,” I chuckled crawling into my bed. The kitchen came around with a tray for me a little while later and I made a mental note to thank Sally next time I saw her. “Gravy,” I groaned lifting the cover to find a pile of what used to be turkey I think. At least the stuffing was nice and chewy and warm apple juice wasn’t so hard to stomach. I remembered my care package from Quatre about half way thought and abandoned the meal for the blissful sparkle of a cola. Even warm it seemed like heaven on Earth. “I still can’t figure what you have against this stuff,” I mused after I had drained half the can. “That shit’ll rot your stomach.” Inwardly there was suddenly a cacophony of reasonable voices telling me to quietly put the can down and walk straight to the psycho ward but outwardly I merely tensed and looked over to find his eyes open wide. Or at least, the ones I could see were. “I never expected to live long enough for it to come to that,” I chuckled slapping all those reasonable voices relentlessly until they just shut up and let me enjoy my psychosis. “You should go easy on her,” he told me and my jaw clenched the way it always did whenever he spoke of her only now, with my newfound depth of understanding I knew it was just plain old jealousy that was the cause. “It really broke her heart when I turned her away.” “You dumped her?” I gasped softly. “I told her I was in love with you.” “Damn good thing the real you isn’t awake to hear that,” I laughed empting the rest of my soda. “All I ever wanted was you,” he told me and I shifted uncomfortably when what looked very much like his spirit rose from his body and stood smiling at me. “I really need to work on my ego,” I grumbled and he laughed that laugh that comes straight from his toes. The one that always made me smile too. “Still don’t believe I’m real?” he purred slipping up to push me down into the bed and I lost my breath at the feel of his touch. My eyes shifted to the real him lying in the bed beside us even as my arms slipped around his neck and I felt the weight of his body shield me from a reality I simply couldn’t face. “I want the real you back,” I told him and though I knew I would never be able to share the same friendship with him that we had had I meant it. “When I wake,” he whispered softly sending a shiver down my spine as he wriggled between my legs and nestled his body on mine, “Promise me you won’t forget,” he asked kissing me so gently I moaned softly under his mouth. “I love you,” I was compelled to say then he stole my breath away and took me to a place where it all seemed like nothing more than a nightmare because this was our reality. He was almost opaque that night and stayed with me until just before dawn. I don’t remember waking and I didn’t feel like I had slept but I had had the most sinfully delicious dreams I wished I could just go back to sleep. Breakfast came in the form of pancake shaped diskettes and grapes and I decided to read some of Trowa’s poetry book to him. He seemed to enjoy it but kept quipping one-liners that made me laugh. I think he just wanted to cheer me up since he had returned to his body for the day and I was left with only his distant voice to comfort me. “Dusty pools of sun kissed rain?” he laughed sardonically. “It’s an oxy moron,” I argued. “It’s idiotic is what it is,” he chuckled. “If you don’t like it I can stop,” I groused. “No,” he giggled. “This is very amusing.” “You’re not the one that has to try and voice this drivel,” I chuckled looking for something a little more sophisticated. “I like your voice,” he grinned leering at me in a way that made my cheeks heat up. “When did you become such a perv?” “The first time you let me kiss you,” he smiled unrepentantly. “You didn’t really kiss me you know?” I countered giving up on the book. “You’re just a figment on my overactive imagination.” “Is that why you’re sitting on a pillow?” he smirked and I felt the soft blush on my face flare bright red. “You’re an animalistic apparition, did I mention that?” I smiled shifting a little to ease the ache and busting up laughing when he gnashed his teeth and hissed at me. “Duo?” “Quat!?” Shit. “Hey guys,” I smiled tossing the book on the bed to make sure they saw it in the hope that it might explain anything they had over heard. It didn’t look like Quatre was buying it though as he surveyed the binding then glanced at Hiiro and back to me and I kind of felt like my insides had fallen out. “We brought you some lunch,” Quatre finally smiled handing me a small basket that probably cost more than my bike. “Thanks.” “Did you sleep well?” I turned my gaze on Trowa and got the low down on the visual telegraph that Quatre was fishing and I was to remember I had slept most of the afternoon at their house the day before. “On and off,” I shrugged giving my mercenary friend a grateful wink. “You seem in brighter spirits today,” Quatre commented going to look Hiiro over. “Things are pretty quiet.” “Good morning.” I hate to say it but I was relieved when Sally showed up. Quatre is an incredibly sensitive individual and I wasn’t so sure I would be able to hide my failing sanity from him if he pushed too hard. “Duo,” she greeted in this clinical tone that set the hairs on my arms to crawling. “I’m glad you’re here.” “What’s happened?” Quatre asked instantly on guard and I stepped a little closer to Hiiro and checked my Glock. “There has been no change?” she asked sounding terribly sad as she looked him over. “He’s fine,” I informed her taking a stand between her and his bed. “He is not fine,” she retorted firmly staring me straight in the eye. “He is in a coma.” “He’ll wake up.” What was she on about? “Well he better do it quick,” she sighed. “Why?” My knees felt week. She knew something, something bad. “I was hoping to avoid having to tell you this,” she said straightening her spine as if to brace for the words and my stomach began to squirm inside my gut. “At the end of this week Hiiro will have been in a deep coma for over a month. His prognosis for waking is not considered reasonably good as he has shown no sign of recovery.” She sounded like she was reading from a textbook. “Therefore, on Saturday, if no improvement is recorded,” I felt my knees shaking harder with every word, “the order will be given to disconnect…” “NO!” I barked, my hand already on my gun but Trowa was suddenly there and Quatre had my hand and Sally looked very much like she might just crumble on the floor and cry. “Why?” I choked unable to comprehend how she could give the order to kill him. “It’s out of my hands,” she replied shakily. “There are rules…” “Fuck your rules!” I growled lunging at her and I have to give her credit, she only gasped softly and took a step back but the guys still had a hold of me so she was relatively safe. “Stop it!” Quatre shouted wrenching me back. “You know she’d stop it if she could!” Trowa added and the insanity began to ebb. “I’m sorry,” I breathed collapsing back against his bed. “But I just can’t let that happen.” “You don’t have any choice,” she replied as kindly as she could. “The military has regulations…” “I will not let him die.” Even I was creeped out by the oddly demonic sound of my voice but I meant every damn word and she knew it because she backed off. “You have until Saturday,” she stated rather mechanically then her eyes softened and she dared lean close to me and looked me dead in the eye when she demanded, “Wake him up.” I hated her in that moment. What did she expect from me? What was I supposed to do? I felt completely lost and utterly helpless and like I had betrayed him so deeply all I wanted to do was lie down beside him and let them kill me too. “Don’t give up.” “What?” I gasped turning to him but his eyes remained closed and I realized it had been Quatre that had spoken. “You thought Hiiro spoke,” he smiled. Busted. I could’ve lied to him but he would have known it so there wasn’t much point. “How long have you been hearing his voice?” he asked in this businesslike tone that left me feeling weird and venerable. “It’s just an echo of what I want to hear,” I reasoned hoping he’d get the idea that at least I knew I was wacked. I damn sure never expected him to lean in close to me and whisper… “Are you sure?” “Yeah,” I chortled. “Unless he’s suddenly gone telepathic, I’m pretty sure.” “Stranger things have been know to happen,” he smiled and I lost the functioning capability of my lower jaw. Was he crazy too? “We’ll come back and check on you this afternoon,” he said changing subjects so fast I felt a little dizzy. “Where are you going?” “I have a lawyer friend or two that I want to have a chat with,” he smiled as Trowa joined him and I said a little prayer that his friends had the kind of pull it would take to change the militaries mind. Three days. “You get all that?” “I heard,” he replied evenly and I went to close the door as he sat up but he seemed too weak in the daylight to stand from the bed. “So, what do we have to do to get you back on your feet?” “I … don’t know,” he sighed softly turning sad, blue eyes on me and I suddenly just wanted to scream. I picked up the phone instead. “Thanks,” I smiled when Wufei showed up with Hiiro’s laptop an hour later. “If he does wake up he’s gong to strangle you with your braid for this you know?” he quipped trying way too hard to lighten the mood but I was way past caring. “Wasn’t my idea.” “……………Has he shown any improvement at all?” he asked shifting his oddly disturbing gaze to Hiiro. “No,” I sighed jacking into the hospitals phone lines. He was quite for a long moment while I set up and logged on with surprising ease considering whose security I was breeching but then he was whispering the passwords in my ear. I just couldn’t figure out how my hallucinations were pulling the correct information out my head when it wasn’t there. “What are you looking for?” he finally asked. “Anything that might give us a clue as to how to wake him up,” I replied ignoring the worry wrinkle that appeared between his eyes. “Do you really think that’s possible?” Wufei asked looking Hiiro over again. “We won’t give up.” I realized he was hearing more than I wanted him to when those black eyes of his snapped around to stare at me at the sound of the word `we`. “Quatre’s got the legal front,” I told him redirecting the plural to include the entire group though that wasn’t how I had used it. “Do you think you could check the military regulations for a loop hole?” “Of course.” We spent most of the afternoon digging through testimonies online about other coma cases while Wufei, Quatre and Trowa did their best to buy us more time. I held little hope that they would be successful and even if they were I knew somewhere in the back of my mind it didn’t really matter. Hiiro seemed to be getting weaker by the moment anymore, I could barely hear the whispers that brushed along the back of my mind and it terrified me. I needed to sleep but I had done so much of that lately I refused to let it take me again. We didn’t have time for my indulgent fantasies no matter how amazing they were. I was tired, hungry and fed up with all the bullshit I was wading through only to learn that ninety-nine percent of patients in Hiiro’s situation never woke up when the fates decided to drop another bomb and Relena walked into our room. She seemed terribly off balance and I could tell she had been crying again but she held her tongue and went to Hiiro’s side. I felt an incredible urge to jump up and stand between them but logically I knew she wouldn’t try anything; there was no reason for her too. I couldn’t help the glare though. “It’s funny isn’t it?” she chuckled wetly but I had no clue what she thought was funny. “He tried so hard all through the wars to claim a hero’s fate.” “He never wanted to die,” I countered but she didn’t seem to hear me as she gazed down on him. “I truly thought I could save him.” The comment seemed a bit arrogant but it was nothing less than I had thought a thousand times. The only difference was I still believed I could. “But I couldn’t,” she wept. “I couldn’t save him… from you.” Well, that stung. No one knew better than I that this whole thing was my fault but being responsible for the deaths of my loved ones wasn’t a feeling I was unaccustomed too. I had a job to do. “Which is exactly why I won’t let him die,” I replied. “Did you know he was in love with you?” What? “What?” What was she saying? I wasn’t asleep… was I? No. But he had told me about her knowing about his feelings for me. But… that had been in a dream… I couldn’t think straight. It was all running together. “After the wars,” she sniffled dabbing her nose. “I asked him to stay with me but he refused because of his feelings for you.” “No offence but that sounds like an easy excuse to turn you down,” I snorted earning me a dark glare. “You really never noticed the way he looks at you,” she commented. “Yeah,” I chuckled ignoring the leering gaze my apparition was giving me from Hiiro’s bed. “Like he wished I’d get struck by lightening.” “Like he longed for more than he ever thought you would be willing to give,” she countered and the painful conviction in her tone took me off guard. She really believed this shit and I really couldn’t cope. “I don’t know who in the hell you think he is,” I grumbled going back to staring at the laptop. “But Hiiro Yui never wanted anything from anyone.” “There’s a big difference between needing and wanting. You should have told him,” she sighed fussing with his sheet and I really just wished she wouldn’t. “Things might have turned out differently if he had known you were in love with him, too.” I didn’t know how to respond to that. I couldn’t deny it but it really wasn’t any of her business either. I think I would have snapped something cruel at her but the compassionate expression in my apparition’s eyes stilled my tongue. “Do you still believe you can bring him back?” she asked distantly. “I will,” I replied. I understood his compassion for her when she turned to me and smiled, “You should tell him,” before leaving us. “She really cares for you,” I commented. “She has a noble heart,” he agreed, “But I’m still in love with you.” When I turned toward him he was wearing the cockiest damn grin I had ever seen which only made the mantle on my face that much deeper so I threw my straw paper at him and just about swallowed my tongue when it bounced off his nose and he flinched. HE flinched! Not my apparition but him! The real him! “Hiiro?” I breathed going to his bedside and for the first time since it started I wished the hallucination would fade so I could see his face clearly. “Can you hear me?” “I’m trying,” he said softly reaching one transparent hand out to brush along my cheek but there was little comfort in it. I wanted to feel his touch but I wanted it to be real. There was a war that sprang to life inside my mind when he softly gazed into my eyes and begged, “Kiss me.” What should I do? I knew the request was my own mind demanding what it wanted but he looked so hopeful, his mouths lying beneath me in dislodged synchronization, my image partially parting his lips while Hiiro lay silently within him and I felt the sting of tears when I laid my lips on his. It was very strange to feel him responding and not responding all at once. In my mind he was kissing me back but in reality his body lay still beneath me. I couldn’t stop myself and moaned softly as I kissed his mouth and felt ghostly arms embrace me. The sound of the door closing was enough to break me from the moment but not enough to force me to move away. “You don’t want to upset the staff,” Trowa gently chided but I wasn’t really in the mood for jokes. “I can’t loose him,” I choked just because I needed to say it out loud but he seemed to understand and came to rest a hand on my back where, in my mind, Hiiro’s were still holding me. “How is he doing?” he asked in a tone that was meant to lighten the mood. “He’s trying,” I informed him touching Hiiro’s face with my hands and he smiled before I pulled away. “Did Quatre have any luck?” “He’s working on it. Have you eaten?” I was really just too damn tired to verbalize an answer so I just shook my head. “Why don’t you let me buy you dinner?” he smiled. “Don’t leave,” Hiiro begged softly. “I’m fine,” I told our guest and he sighed heavily. “How about we order a pizza then?” he suggested and I nodded knowing there was no way he was going to leave us alone. All I wanted to do was sit on Hiiro’s bedside and hold his hand until he opened his eyes but considering the way I had been behaving and the fact that I could still see him staring back at me when he couldn’t possibly have been doing so made Trowa’s intrusion easier to tolerate. He fussed about the room for a time ordering the pizza and reading over Hiiro’s chart while I sat beside him and stared into eyes that weren’t really looking at me. “Did you find anything helpful online?” he asked taking a seat on one of the chairs. “Not really,” I replied. “There have been cases where patients have recovered from deep comas after long periods of time but they are… rare.” I could barely say the words. “No one seems to know why they woke or how to do it.” “Were there any records of loved ones connecting with them on an extra sensory level?” he asked evenly and I knew he was onto me. “One,” I confessed having found a single case where a wife claimed to have been able to hear her comatose husbands voice in her dreams but he hadn’t been one of the ones that had recovered. “So,” he smiled. “How is he?” “Don’t patronize me, Trowa,” I warned feeling so tired I could have laid on the edge of his bed and passed out. “You’ve been speaking to him,” he shrugged. “I wonder what his state of mind is.” It was difficult to separate my delusion from reality we Hiiro chuckled and commented, “He’s figured us out.” “You stay out of this,” I told him causing Trowa to raise a brow. “I’m not stupid,” I informed Trowa. “I know I’m suffering from some sort of stress induced hallucination but it doesn’t really matter. All that matters right now is getting Hiiro back.” “What happens if he never wakes up?” he asked evenly and I suddenly wanted to backhand him. “What would you do?” I asked and I could see the words had caught him off guard. “What if it was Quatre lying in that bed?” His expression went dead calm as he gazed on Hiiro’s silent form and I felt bad for having given him the vision he was probably having but then his eyes shifted and cleared and he said in a very somber tone… “We don’t want to loose you, too.” “He flinched,” I told him grinning at the way he was suddenly on his feet. “When?” “Just a bit ago. I tossed a straw paper at him and hit him in the nose and he flinched.” “Why were you throwing things at him?” he chuckled. “He was being a prick,” I grinned. “I got your prick,” Hiiro interjected. “Prove it.” “Prove what?” Trowa asked. “Nothing,” I sighed feeling very pathetic and not quite sane all of a sudden. “Oh,” he grinned glancing over our fallen comrade and I cut another mark in the friendship stick with his name on it. Just like that he had accepted my diagnosis and respected my wishes to stay with him in spite of my growing insanity.
~ * ~ tbc... |
