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"Countdown"Written By: t-shirt Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: R Warnings: Post War Cannon, Supernatural, Angst,
sap, mild language, very mild lemon Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 5+all Summary: When Hiiro is injured and left in a coma while assisting Duo in battle, the braided pilot is forced to fight for his partner’s life. However, strange dreams and hidden desires complicate matters when forces that seem bent on pulling the plug seemingly push Duo to the very brink of sanity. "Countdown" Ch 2 Rest. Was it even possible? Every time I closed my eyes I heard him… ”Goodbye.”… and bolted straight up in my bed. He would still be laying there, the steady rhythm of his monitors sounding softly but I still couldn’t shake the cold sweats and trembling. “Don’t ever say that again,” I shivered rolling over to try again. Happy thoughts. I had to think of happy thoughts. The moon on a clear summers night, flying in deep space, the way Hiiro always laughed when I bumbled or tripped. It was the only time I got to hear him laugh like that. Just a carefree burst of pure emotion. I supposed, as I drifted off again and the memory of sweet lips washed across my mind, I probably tripped and bumbled a lot more than was necessary sometimes. “Sleep.” “I am sleeping.” Well that earned me a snicker. “Why didn’t you tell me they were trying to unhook you?” I didn’t mean for it to sound quite so annoyed. It wasn’t like the figment in my dreams could foretell the future. “I’m sorry,” he said anyway and I smiled and opened my eyes. “Hey, I can see you.” He was much clearer now though seemed as reluctant to speak as ever. “Just don’t ever say that again,” I told him. “Never,” he smile and I felt a heat rise up and lick at the bottom of my stomach as he moved closer to me. “Guess I have some deeper issues,” I chuckled as he rested his head near to mine. “Why is that?” he asked but my mind was lost in the gentle way his hand was touching my face. “I never really understood, you know?” “Tell me,” he breathed but what he wanted me to say was a distant memory when his lips touched mine. I knew it was wrong to indulge in such intimate fantasies in the situation we were in but whatever my heart was trying to tell me refused to be denied and I soon found myself wrapped firmly around him, his mouth and body loving me in ways I had never even thought of before. The fact that he was a guy wasn’t near as disturbing as the fact that he was Hiiro and I was thoroughly enjoying my little slumber-induced infringement. “Stop,” I panted before things went too far but he didn’t look terribly happy about it. “I can’t.” “Why not?” he asked and I almost laughed at the pout in his tone. “Because if you ever get wind of this dream I’m gonna be donkey kibble,” I chuckled. “Who said this was a dream?” he smiled then kissed me so soundly I almost believed that it wasn’t. “Please,” I pleaded but it was so damn hard to push him away. “If I let this happen I’ll never be able to face you again.” “And what if I don’t wake up?” he said softly but I’m afraid it didn’t garnish quite the reaction I think he was hoping for. “Don’t say shit like that!” I snapped wrenching away from him. “You will wake up! God damn it Hiiro! Don’t you dare say shit like that!” “I’m sorry,” he soothed but the fear that had clamped down on my gut turned my stomach and kept him at bay. “You have to,” I heard myself whimper and suddenly my knees wouldn’t hold me anymore and he was there holding me while I cried. He stayed with me for a long while that night. I had never had a dream that lasted so long or seemed so real before and when I finally woke it made it twice as hard to see him lying silently in the other bed. The tears from the dream threatened to spill over into reality but if I have one rule it is never to cry. Call it a testament to an old friend. One way or another, I was going to get him back. It was daylight but I had no idea of the time until I found a wall clock above my head. Nine a.m. I had slept the rest of the day and through the night. I wondered as I lay there watching his chest rise and fall in synch with the respirator if it was because of his presence. I hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours at a time since they stopped letting me stay with him. “You’ve seriously got me messed up,” I groaned sardonically wishing hospital beds weren’t so damn hard but the ache’s and pains of the morning were lost when I saw his eyes suddenly open. “Hiiro!” I gasped rushing to his side only to find his eyes still closed tight. My blood was pounding so hard I could hardly see at all but his eyes were defiantly still shut. “Geez!” I growled falling on his chest. “Now I’m seeing things,” I chuckled but it died as quickly as it had come. “Duo.” My head shot up at the sound of his voice but the air tube was still in his mouth making speech utterly impossible. I stared at him for a long moment before I began to actually question my sanity and backed away. “If you don’t come around soon you’re gonna be breaking me out off the psycho ward,” I laughed heading for one of the soda’s Quatre had left me. I had just popped the top on a citrus blend when the phone rang. “Hello?” “Hi,” Quatre replied. “How are you feeling?” “Run over,” I chortled. “And Hiiro?” I paused to look over at him desperately pushing the image of his eyes popping open out of my mind as he lay in silent slumber. “No change.” “Has Trowa arrived yet?” “Is he coming down?” “He should…” he began but I lost tract of what he was saying when his lover walked into the room. “He just got here,” I smiled peering at the bag in his hand as I sniffed the air. “And he brought breakfast.” “Shhh,” Trowa hissed too late. “Oh, not fast food,” Quatre grumbled. “I could have had something decent made…” “This is decent,” Trowa grinned taking the phone from me. I let him handle the crooning Arabian while I dug in the bag to see what goodies he had brought. Egg and cheese croissants and those crunchy little hash brown diskettes. Score. “Thanks,” I offered handing him one of the sandwiches as he hung up the phone. “Hiiro loves these things,” I chuckled eating one of the potatoes. “I know,” he replied sitting down to his meal. We were most of the way through eating and all the way through the coffee before he decided to go ahead and do his duty. “Are you going to go home and shower?” “Nope.” “Are you going to go home at all?” he smirked but I’m better at it. “Nope.” “You’re going to have to leave sometime,” he reasoned “They tried to unplug him,” I replied softly, my eyes being drawn undeniably to his form. “I could stay for awhile while you go home and shower and change,” he offered and I understood where he was coming from. Considering the tragedies that have befallen my life I consider myself very lucky to have friends like him. “If he so much as twitches, you call,” I told him and he grinned. That appeared to be all we needed to exchange to understand each other so I nodded and stumbled my stinky ass out of there. I got some very strange looks from the staff and thought I caught a glimpse of Dr. Shaw ducking into an elevator down the hall but I wasn’t concerned with him anymore. Trowa had Hiiro’s back, he was in good company and I seriously needed a shower. I am not an idiot. I knew we couldn’t keep this up. Hell, it was already past the dead line and extreme measures had already been taken but it wasn’t Relena’s insistence that he was suffering needlessly or the lengthy hospital stay that was seeping into my bones. It was almost as if I could feel how hard he was trying and as time wore on, it just kept getting harder to hold on. It turned my stomach to see the pain in the little lines around his eyes but I simply could not let him go. I took a good long while in the shower washing my hair and just letting the hot water run over me. It felt good; almost like the tears I couldn’t let myself cry. I was still so tired and let the heat lull me into a blissful fog as the water hissed along the bottom of the tub. It was a bit of a shock when I heard him call to me but I suppose if I had fallen asleep standing up at the hospital I could have managed it in my shower. “We have to stop meeting like this,” I laughed letting the water wash into my mouth. “I couldn’t stay away,” he replied slipping up behind me and I shivered as the warmth of his hands slid over my hips, his mouth so sweetly tempting against the nape of my neck as the hot water rained down on us. “Please don’t,” I breathed even as my back arched into him, his readiness brushing along the inside of my thighs lit my whole body on fire. “How will you kiss? Lilt me your lips, our lost breath intermingling. Synchronize our silence as lazy hours ease by,” he quoted though I didn’t recognize the author. “Let me know you,” he entreated pressing his hips against me, his hand slipping around to grip my now full erection and I gasped and tried to dig my fingernails into the tile. “Please,” he breathed drawing my mouth around to him. “Just this once.” I knew I was his the moment his mouth met mine. There was no way I could have resisted such sweet temptation and gave myself over to him wholeheartedly and without refrain. It never even occurred to me that I was apparently gay because this wasn’t just some wild encounter with some guy. This was Hiiro and I finally understood the depths of the feelings I had for him as he took me body and mind and made me his own. Gods, how I wished it was real! I wanted it to be real, longed for it, prayed for it but in the end, once the water ran cold and the sleepy fog began to rise I found myself alone. His presence lingered but I think that only made it worse because I could almost feel the residual effects of his body on mine. “Please,” I choked sinking down under the icy spray as those elusive tears well up when I heard his voice inside my mind… “Don’t give up.” “Back already?” Trowa softly exclaimed glancing from his book to his watch when I returned. “Were you reading to him?” I grinned and was gratified with a soft blush in his cheeks. “That was quick,” he commented smoothly changing the subject. “Will Quat throttle you if you come back this early?” I chuckled. “He would have come himself but he had meetings all day,” he smiled. “I know.” No doubt if it weren’t for his duties at WEI and the offhanded mission for Une I probably would have been hard pressed to get rid of him. “Thanks for sitting with him.” “He’s our friend, too,” Trowa gently reminded me. “It’s no chore.” I gave him the real smile he was looking for and he decided to hang around for a while and keep me company. It was good to just kick back and talk for a change. I hadn’t spent much time with any of them since the accident, not since things had cooled off and they were all forced to return to their normal lives. Wufei showed up later in the afternoon and got the lunatic hero version of the whole mad hatter story but he was on a case and had to leave before dinner. Trowa made sure I had a proper meal before leaving me for the night and I made him promise to be extra sweet to his busy body lover because without him we would have already run out of time. And I had a feeling, we had precious little left. I spent the evening watching the news of which I was, thankfully, not a part. Une must have covered the whole thing up. That was a bonus. At least there wouldn’t be a media circus to deal with as well. I watched him sleep for a while before I noticed Trowa had left his book and decided to try a little reading to pass the time. “Poetry?” I snorted. I guess Quatre was having some effect on our mercenary beast after all. It was an elegant little book with green filigree on the binding. I opened it at the bookmark and began to read and though I am fond of poetry in a visual sense some of the ones I came across were just plain weird. It wasn’t until I turned the page and found the pressed petal of a yellow rose that my blood ran cold. “How will you kiss? Lilt me your lips, our lost breath intermingling. Synchronize our silence as lazy hours ease by,” I read aloud, my eyes glancing over at Hiiro from time to time as if he would sit up and explain to me how I had dreamed these very words in my shower that afternoon. Judith Pordon. I had never heard of her but the words would forever be embedded in my mind. How could that have happened? It made me wonder at the tender portions of my anatomy I had dismissed as the results of a greasy breakfast. “I’m loosing it,” I sighed closing the book. “Duo.” My heart slammed so hard in my chest I thought it might jump right out of my mouth. “Hiiro?” I whispered cautiously. Maybe I really was loosing it. He lay as still as ever in his bed, his chest responding to the positive pressure, his eyes silent and still then, as suddenly as a flash of light, I saw his eyes open. “HIIRO!” I gasped lunging for the bed. I saw it! I knew I did! “Hiiro!?” But he lay quietly sleeping. “Come on, buddy!” I begged massaging his hand. “Wake up. We need you back here, you know? Who’s gonna watch my back if you’re not around?” I was on the verge of tears again but I wouldn’t let them fall. That meant giving up and I would never give up. “Hiiro… please…” “Don’t cry.” “Hiiro?” I choked snapping up to look at him again but the tube was in place. There was no way he could have spoken to me. “Jesus,” I laughed letting it go even though it sounded a little off. “I really am a nut bag.” I watched him for a long time that night mostly trying to convince myself that what I had seen and heard was simply not possible. However, if it couldn’t have happened and I clearly remembered it had then there was a very real possibility I was overdue for some psychiatric help. Falling asleep did not help. “Duo.” “What’s happening to me?” I asked as his visage swam into view. “I’m sorry,” he told me again and I began to understand that he meant so much more than I had ever realized before. “I wanted to tell you…” “Stop,” I choked moving away from him. “I don’t want this dream anymore.” “I should have told you before,” he sighed heavily. “Please don’t,” I whispered only just barely able to cope. “I never meant to leave you.” “Then don’t.” “You have to know…” “Hiiro,” I cut him off praying he wouldn’t say what I wanted him to because I knew I would never be able to go back to the way things had been if he did. “I love you.” And I cried. Why? I just couldn’t comprehend it. “Why does everything I love have to die?” I wept and he held me so tight I couldn’t breath. “I don’t want to leave you,” he told me and I cried all the harder. “You’re just a fucking dream!” I sobbed but I clung to him for all I was worth. “I love you,” he kept saying over and over until the words had soothed over the hurt and numbed the thought of the loss and once again I found myself cold and alone with nothing to look upon but death. When my eyes opened the first thing I noticed was that they were wet. I had broken a sacred trust but I had a feeling these weren’t the kind of tears Solo had looked down upon. Hiiro was lying silently under the maze of hoses and tubes, his chest moving mechanically with the machines as always and I just suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. “Wake up,” I told him in a tone that brooked no argument as I took a stand beside his bed. “Wake up damn it!” I shouted feeling the rage take hold of me again. I had felt it before, the day Solo died, the day I lost the only home and family I had ever known. It is a blackness that fills the heart and leaves no room for anything but hatred and vengeance. “You really wanna die?!” I growled jerking my Glock out and pushing it so hard into my temple I felt the metal bite into my skin. “How bout this?! You go I’m fucking going with you!!” “No.” I just about fell flat on my ass when I saw his eyes open and he scowled at me only… his eyes weren’t open… but they were. “Holy shit.” “Put the gun away.” His voice was in my head but I could see his eyes as clear as day. But they were still closed. It didn’t make any sense. I stood fighting to breath, my finger trembling dangerously on the trigger as my mouth tried to work out words that wouldn’t come. “Please Duo,” he whispered to my mind and my head began to spin. “I’m trying.” “Hiiro.” “Duo!” Quatre’s horrified voice was the last thing I remember hearing before I crumbled to the floor. I could hear him, feel him nearby but I couldn’t see him. His presence was warm and comforting but it was frustrating not to be able to touch him or speak to him. My mind raced trying to make sense of what I had seen but the only conclusion at the end of the ride was that I had finally popped a cork. But… he was there… “Hiiro?” “Duo?” Quatre gasped softly beside my bed. I was still in the hospital, it was daylight and Quatre looked as if he’d just see a ghost. Hiiro lay quietly on his bed looking as normal as ever and I suddenly just felt very damn tired. “What happened?” I asked rubbing my spinning head as I sat up. “You collapsed,” he informed me worriedly and I could have kissed him when he slipped a soda into my hand. “Have you been eating?” Oops. Well, that might explain a few things. Can one hallucinate from malnutrition? I couldn’t stop staring at him, his eyes had opened. I saw it; I could still see it clearly in my mind. “Has he moved at all?” He looked like he might cry for a minute before schooling his expression and replying, “No. Duo, you understand we’re all very worried about you?” “I know,” I sighed. My behavior hadn’t been of the most stable sort over the past month. “We want to help…” “Don’t ask me to leave him,” I warned and felt bad when he winced at my tone. “You need to get away from here,” he said ignoring the black glare I sent his way. “Just for a little while,” he soothed. “Please, Duo. Give yourself a break.” “I’m fine.” “People who are fine do not collapse on the floor,” he countered with such a haughty expression I had to laugh at him. “Come on,” he smiled. “You know he wouldn’t want you pushing yourself so hard.” Well, that was playing dirty if you ask me but he had a point. “I’ll call Wufei, I’m sure he’d be glad to sit with him for a while,” he smiled. “I thought he was on assignment,” I grumbled looking Hiiro over again. “The case was closed yesterday,” he replied pulling his cell phone and I felt sort of good because of the relief in his eyes. I got the definite feeling I had been played when Wufei showed up less than five minutes later but the memory of Hiiro’s open eyes begged me to follow through and get out of the room for a while. Quatre took me to his house where the mere presence of Rashid and his crew quickly overwhelmed me so I headed for the solace of the second floor and took a hot soak. My mind kept running over the shower from the day before and how wonderful Hiiro’s hands had felt sliding over my skin and I shuddered in the heat. “Get a grip, Maxwell,” I muttered pushing the memories away. It had been a dream. A wonderful, hot, sinfully erotic dream, nothing more but I couldn’t get it out of my head. His words kept echoing in my mind until I thought my head might explode then suddenly his eyes snapped open in my minds eye and I dove for the phone beside the bed. I don’t know when I had dozed off but Wufei picked up the phone just as if my heart wasn’t trying to break free of my chest. “Hey,” I replied doing my best to sound calm. “Duo?” Guess I failed. “How’s he doing?” I needed to know. He was quiet for a moment before replying evenly, “No change. Are you all right?” “Yeah,” I chuckled. “Just a little separation anxiety I guess.” Lies are best hidden behind the truth. I was sleeping too much. I knew that but I lay back down anyway. At least in my dreams he was alive and could speak with me. I suppose it was a bit pathetic to think that way but I needed so desperately to see him and hear his voice I was soon pulled under the blanket of sleep once again. “Duo.” Gods! His voice was so hot, a trembling tenor on the air surrounding me and I felt his hands on my body before I had even opened my eyes. I never got around to talking to him just then because he was intent on blowing my freaking mind. I wondered in some tiny recess of my mind if it could have ever been like that for real, to have him touch me in such intimate ways, to feel his hunger as he rocked my body and mind into a state of sizzling euphoria. Maybe, when he was ok again I would find the strength to tell him how I felt but all I could think about at the time was my own selfish needs. He was so beautiful in the soft glow of the afternoon sun and it struck me as odd that my dreams appeared to follow the actual timeline. But then he was there again, holding me so gently, kissing me, loving me until my heart couldn’t help but believe everything was going to be all right. When I woke alone in a cold bed and once again realized the truth of it I rolled over to burry my head in the pillow as the pain washed through my chest. He had to wake up; he just had to. My pulse thumped in my temples when I suddenly realized the pillow was damp and I once again questioned my sanity when his scent invaded my nostrils. ~ * ~ tbc... |
