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"Clutterbug"Written By: t-shirt Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Post War Cannon, Fluff, sap, slight
angst, eventual lemon Pairings: 1x2, Background 3x4 Summary: An unexpected love confession rocks Duo’s
world. "Clutterbug " Ch 1 “What the hell is his problem?” “Maybe he’s just sick of tripping over your shit!” Wufei grumbled, kicking my empty MacDonald’s drink cup off the catwalk where it just missed Hiiro’s head as he made a hasty exit below. “Hey man! I wasn’t finished with that!” I groused. Man! You’d think these guys would loosen up now that the war over but hell no! They’re all still walking around with a stick up their ass. `Cept Quat, but then he periodically had Trowa up his so they’d both loosened up a little. I was really beginning to think Hiiro was just never going to be able to adjust to civy life. Not even the buffer of being an agent for the Preventor’s was serving to detox him off the high we’d been on for.. ever. Personally, I couldn’t get enough of just kicking back and living life for a change. Even Wufei had chilled out a lot though apparently he had some issues with my less than immaculate tendencies. “How can you work in such clutter?” Wufei grouched, stepping over me and my leftover French fries. I managed to save the last of the little spuds before he crushed them under foot but lost my tension wrench in the bargain when my elbow knocked it off the cat walk to clatter and bang on the floor near my wayward drink cup. “You are a complete slob,” my Chinese friend half chuckled, dancing and swaying cautiously as he extracted himself from my chaotic little portion of our workspace. “Maybe we should buy him a trash can for Christmas,” Trowa smirked before poking his head back into the access panel on the ship we were dissecting. “Hey, I keep my clutter to myself thank you,” I defended relaxing on my back where I’d been trying to help Hiiro jumper the mainframe so we could get a look at the base programming when he had suddenly decided he’d rather be somewhere else. “A few chip bags are hardly a reason to just snap and walk away in the middle of a job,” I reasoned munching on a rather chewy and very cold fry. “Duo,” Quatre said in a tone of voice that made me look at him curiously. The smirk, light blush and inadvertent flick of his eyes informed me in his modestly insistent way that my shirt was riding up. I’m not what you’d call body shy, but since he and Trowa were obviously distracted by the male physique I pulled it back into place. “Shit,” I resigned, swallowing the last of my chewy fries. “Guess this job’s a bust.” There was no way I could finish without Hiiro so I rolled over and got up, scattering the crumpled papers from my impromptu lunch, loose tools and a circuit board I had forgotten I had laying on my chest across the deck. “You’re not planning on leaving that mess?” Wufei questioned skeptically. “Why should I put it all away just to take it back out again in the morning?” I reasoned, though I did pick up the lunch trash. Dried up ketchup tends to draw ants. “I suppose it is getting late,” Quatre sighed, shaking his head at me while he put his tools away. “You want a ride home?” Trowa asked me, assisting his lover. “Naw,” I declined. “I brought the bike,” I explained, taking a three point shot at the wastebasket down below. “Duo,” Wufei groused impatiently, but the ball of paper never even touched the rim. “Nothing but net!” I grinned before taking my leave. It was pretty late. The moisture in the wind reminded me of that as I cut through the air on my bike. Hiiro had helped me tweak it until it was capable of speeds well above the legal limitations and I’m afraid I’ve never been very good at following the rules. It is a very self-empowering feeling to race along an empty stretch of highway in the middle of the night so fast the light poles look like vertical blinds. I was still feeling the rush when I opened the door to our apartment and saw Hiiro’s bag sitting by the door. The sight brought me crashing down off the adrenalin high real quick. What the hell? “Hiiro?” I called tentatively dropping my keys in my helmet and my helmet in the first chair I passed. He didn’t answer but I found him in his room anyway. Packing another bag. It kind of made me sick to my stomach to see him moving his things from the drawer to the suitcase. “Hey man,” I said trying for casual and managing desperately confused instead. “You going on assignment?” I asked, hoping I’d receive the usual grunt of affirmation, but I could tell by the way he paused without looking at me it wasn’t going to happen. I think that’s when I started feeling like I was gonna hurl but my chest was hurting so bad I can’t be sure. “I think I should move out,” he finally said and suddenly my body couldn’t decide if it wanted to go ahead and throw up or beat some sense into him. “What?!” is what came out of my mouth. It was better than vomit I suppose, but not by much. “I just can’t do this anymore,” he told me softly. The resignation in the tone of his voice just about suffocated me. “What the hell’re you talking about, man?” I began, hoping I didn’t sound as freaked as I felt. He had said ‘think’ however, and my mind was clinging to the proposed chance to change his mind with all it had. “How? I mean.. Why?” I needed to sit down. It never failed, I could face down legions of mobile suits without breaking a sweat, but the thought of life without Hiiro nearby just freaking terrified me. “Is this because of what happened at work?” I asked, searching for an explanation. It just didn’t make any sense. We hadn’t even fought, he just snipped at me and walked out; then it hit me. “Oh man! You’re not serious!?” I exclaimed as he stood there quietly staring into his half empty drawer of neatly folded shirts. “Does it bother you that much?” He finally turned to look at me with this wondering expression as if he didn’t get what I was saying. “If it’s that much of a problem I can take care of it,” I bargained. “Duo,” he began, but I couldn’t stop my mouth from trying to fix this. I couldn’t believe he’d actually move out over a few mislaid clothes or some hair in the shower drain, but I’d be damned if I couldn’t adjust my living style to accommodate him if it meant his leaving. “Naw man it’s no big deal,” I smiled moving in a direction that assumed he’d changed his mind. “I’ll get started on it right now,” I smiled heading for the living room and my discarded helmet and keys. He didn’t call me back but chose to follow me curiously so I made a show of it pulling my gloves off and tossing them in my helmet as well. I sat it all on the bar stool by the kitchen counter while I took off my coat and hung it on the coat rack next to Hiiro’s instead of dropping it in its usual place on the back of the couch. I could do this. No sweat. “What are you doing?” he asked folding his arms and leaning against the entryway to the hall. “Cleaning,” I smiled. “I’ll straighten up the work space tomorrow, too,” I told him making a note to wipe his tools off before returning them this time. Nothing in his toolbox looked as if it had ever been used. I found it a little disturbing actually. “Why?” was his next question. “Well, it obviously bothers you that I haven’t been keeping up my end of it,” I shrugged. “All you had to do was say something, ya know?” I told him, feeling a little irritated that he’d prefer packing to talking to me about it first. He just stood there for a long moment watching me while I went about putting away the dishes he’d left in the drainer. I was starting to feel uncomfortable under his gaze before he finally spoke and stopped me dead in my tracks. “I don’t care about the mess,” he said. Well shit. I was back to needing a paper bag to breathe into all of a sudden. “Then… Why?” slipped from my lips as my fingers clamped down on the plate in my hand. He stood and stared at me thoughtfully for a very long time. I was really wishing he’d just get to the damn point, but when he did I was suddenly wishing he’d taken his time. My mind went totally blank, my entire world a stark white canvas as the words.. “I love you.” .. fell from his lips and the plate fell from my hands. I never heard it hit the floor. I couldn’t hear anything other than Hiiro. I couldn’t see anything but him or feel anything but him. For just that one instant nothing else existed then he was speaking again and it all came on again in a blinding rush of life. “It wasn’t the mess that upset me,” he was saying as he strolled across the floor toward me. “I wasn’t angry with you,” he went on, coming to stand before me and for a moment I thought for sure my heart was going to split my breast plate it was beating so hard. I almost crawled up on the counter behind me in an attempt to put more distance between us so I could breathe when he reached out toward me. “I was angry with myself,” he said slowly, his eyes traveling down my midsection and I swear to all the Gods in Heaven I felt them touch me. I shuddered and he paused with his fingers just above the hem of my shirt for a moment before taking hold of it and slowly lifting it up. I swallowed hard watching the blatant desire blossom in those dark blue eyes of his as he gazed at the flesh of my stomach as it was slowly revealed. “This is why I snapped at you,” he told me and I actually jumped when his eyes flicked up to meet mine. Somewhere in the turmoil that had once been my mind I recalled Quatre telling me to fix my shirt and suddenly realized what he was saying. “You,” damn I couldn’t speak my throat was so dry. “You could’ve told me to pull it down,” I choked. “Then you would have known,” he said softly releasing my shirt and backing away. “I know now,” I pointed out feeling much better now that he wasn’t in my personal space. “That’s why I should leave,” he said turning away to return to his room and I thought my blood had frozen in my veins. I really didn’t understand. My mind was telling me that he knew what he was saying. That he understood the implication of his claim, but my heart refused to believe it was that simple. He wanted me. I was sure of that. I’d felt it in his gaze and the big shocker was that it was seriously turning me on. However, there was no way in hell I was going to take a chance on messing things up between us. Hiiro is a sensitive and loving soul, contrary to what those that do not know him think. Something like this could break him and set him back two years to when he wasn’t capable of holding a simple conversation without scowling. I couldn’t bear that, but watching him sit that last suitcase by the door wasn’t something I could live with. “Or not,” I finally said. He stopped on his way back to his room to turn and look at me inquisitively. “You don’t have to leave,” I shrugged pulling myself together a little and leaning against the counter where he’d left me. “I can’t do this anymore,” he told me in this even, sad little tone that sounded as tired as I was beginning to feel. “Look,” I reasoned. “You’re not going anywhere tonight right? Just sit down and I’ll make some tea and we can talk, ok?” He couldn’t argue with that right? Hm… wrong. “I can’t stay here!” he suddenly snapped, reining in his frustration at the last moment and plopping down on the couch. I was shocked. I’d never known him to lose control that way before. Sure, he’s snapped, yelled, blow stuff to smithereens even, but the uncertainty in his tone; the helplessness in his body language was astounding. Hiiro just wasn’t the type for frustrated confusion. “Just... being around you..” Fumbling for words was a new one, too. I didn’t care for it. “Hey, it’s ok,” I soothed unsure of my ground. I’m his friend, his partner and apparently the object of his desire. It left me a little unbalanced as to what role I was supposed to take in my attempt to comfort. “No. It’s not,” he sighed closing his eyes and laying back as I took the seat next to him. “Sure it is,” I countered trying to lighten things up a little. “Hey, man. If we can bring world peace to mankind I think we can work through this one,” I chuckled and was gratified to gain a small smile from him but it faded quickly. He was quiet again for a moment then threw me even more off balance when he half whispered, “Salted musk,” “What?” I chuckled and he cracked an eye at me. “Your scent,” he explained bringing a heat to my cheeks that had to be very amusing because he chuckled at me, but then his eyes grew very soft and I couldn’t breathe again. “I always though it was very appropriate,” he commented. “Weird is what it is,” I returned. “My shampoo's coconut milk and apricot,” “It’s not the shampoo I smell,” he smiled and my mind just went totally blank again for a minute. I didn’t get a chance to fully recover before he spoke again. “I’m sorry,” he offered sitting up straight so he could turn to face me. “It’s just hard being here,” he confessed. “It’s driving me crazy being this close to you and not being able to...” he let that thought die stillborn. “You know, you could have told me,” I pointed out. “It’s not like I’m going to run screaming or something. We’re best friends,” I reminded him. “We’ll work it out,” I smiled, but he didn’t look to damn reassured. “I want to touch you,” he whispered so damn softly I knew he wasn’t really talking to me. It was apparent in the way his eyes had drifted shut and it sent a shivering charge through me that had me seriously questioning my own sexuality. I’ll admit I find guys attractive, especially guys that look like Hiiro, but I’ve always considered myself het. I prefer women, or at least, I had thought I did until he started this shit. “What’s it like?” I heard myself asking before I could extinguish the heat that had fried my good sense. “What?” he asked tiredly leaning back into the arm of the couch. “Nothing,” I replied quickly hoping he’d just let it go. “I don’t know,” he said confirming that he had indeed understood the question and wasn’t going to cut me any slack over it. “You’ve never let me,” he chuckled lightening what was quickly becoming a very embarrassing moment for me. “You’ve never asked,” fell from my lips and I wanted to strangle myself right then and there! What the hell was I saying!? Where it was true I was irritated with him for keeping something like this a secret for so long he was ready to abandon me without my ever knowing; this thread of conversation was starting to imply something entirely different! The implication definitely intrigued him. “And if I did?” he asked hopefully. My heart was hammering again as he moved unconsciously closer to me, but my traitorous mouth appeared to be on autopilot. “I ... don’t know,” rose in my throat and I got to watch Hiiro’s face light up then suddenly he was WAY to fucking to close! “Duo?” he breathed, not two frigging inches from my face. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t make myself lift my eyes and acknowledge his presence so near to something I just wasn’t so sure about. It hit me in that moment that I wanted to know. I wanted to see what it felt like to be kissed by him, to feel his arms around me. The thought ignited a fire inside me I had not expected and it frightened me a little. More terrifying yet however, was the possibility that I wouldn’t like it. That I couldn’t give him what he wanted and it would all end up just being some cruel experiment that would cost me the most important friendship I’d ever known. “Duo?” he called again, his tone sounding as uncertain and frightened as I felt. “I’m scared,” I whispered what turned out to be two of the hardest words I’d ever forced past my lips. “Of what?” he asked backing off a little, but I was acutely aware of my hand now resting in his. It was a very odd sensation because in all the time I’ve known him I can probably count the number of times he’s touched me on one hand. I had to wonder if his feelings for me had been the reason why. “Losing you,” I replied honestly, finally finding the courage to look into his eyes. What I saw there was steadfast and true and served to calm my frazzled nerves considerably. “I really don’t think I swing that way,” I confessed but his gaze never faltered. It gave me the strength to press on. “I don’t wanna hurt you.” “I know that,” he smiled stroking his thumb over the back of my hand. It was very soothing and helped me not face vault in the face of his unwavering faith in me. I expected him to say more but he just kept sitting there until the smile just looked damned silly on his face “What?” I asked defensively. “Your thinking about it,” he grinned and ‘thoom!’ It was like someone dropped napalm on my cheeks. “I was... I mean... It’s not like…” The son of a bitch was laughing at me. “You’re the one that started this shit!” I growled sulkily. “You’re so damn cute when you pout,” he grinned unrepentantly. “Stop being so damned happy,” I grumbled. “It’s creeping me out.” Why in the hell hadn’t I just locked him in his room? “May I kiss you?” he asked robbing me of my higher brain functions again. I just sat there and blinked at him for what felt like an absurdly long time. “You were curious,” he reminded me oh so helpfully. “You mean like ‘kiss your date’ kiss me?” I asked just to make sure I fully understood and he nodded still shining that stupid, dopey grin at me. “I dunno, man,” I replied on a huge exhale of breath. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea just yet.” “Yet?” He jumped on that one like a rabid raccoon on crack. It left me feeling a little giddy to think he wanted it that bad. “Yet,” I repeated firmly, chuckling as I pushed him back a little since he was invading my personal space again. “I can work with that,” he smiled, resigning to a more comfortable distance. “So,” I breathed, signaling an end to our very strange and potentially life changing conversation. “You want some help unpacking?” I grinned taking at least some satisfaction in the fact that I had won on that point at least. He smiled and nodded and we proceeded to tuck him back into his room. Happily the conversation turned to more mundane things like the aborted, hardwire patch he’d walked out in the middle of. I decided that I would attempt to be a little more organized just on the grounds that I knew it bothered him more than he was letting on. It was pushing three in the morning by the time our tongues grew tired and I headed to the bathroom to do my nightly ritual. It was a little odd to find Hiiro standing by my bedroom door when I came out with that stupid, dopey grin on his face again. “You ok, man?” I chuckled drying my face as I headed for my door. “Duo?” he called just as I was passing by him and when I turned to reply I suddenly found myself being kissed. My first reaction was to break his damn arm, but that impulse fled screaming into the night when the huge monstrosity that was apparently my sex drive kicked in and reared its mammoth head. I whimpered as his arms slipped around my waist I swear to God it was like having spring come on all at once and suddenly all I wanted was for him to never stop. We stumbled backward as the heat intensified, my back finding the wall and then he was there, pressing against me. Invading my mouth, cultivating a flame inside me I could only relate in intensity to battle rage. There was no doubt left in my mind. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly it made my lungs burn and my toes curl up. I honestly believe I would have given in to whatever he asked at that point, but just about the time I was wondering how fast we could make it to my bed he was pulling away. I could physically see his will strain against his desire and it took every ounce of strength I possess to keep from snatching him back. Well, that answered that question. I couldn’t believe how damp my skin was, how my body tingled all over from the rush of just one kiss. “G…,” he had to stop and swallow as he continued to force himself away from my still breathless body. “Goodnight,” he choked, feeding my ego and my desire to give him what he wanted. But could I? Did I really even understand what he was asking? “Goodnight,” I nodded dazedly, earning me an affectionate chuckle and touch of his fingers on my cheek before he retired. I couldn’t stop the lightheaded feeling the night’s revelations had afforded as I crawled into my bed. Everything suddenly seemed brighter somehow, more colorful in some way. I’d heard people talk of such things but it was oddly satisfying to experience it for myself. At least until I got to thinking about that kiss and my body reminded me that it was seriously pissed I hadn’t done more to satiate it. So, I coddled my extra pillow as I grinned at absolutely nothing at all. Hiiro was in love with me. I definitely found him attractive and he was the single most important person in my life. I was having a really hard time finding a downside to all of this. I closed my eyes and resigned myself to what little sleep I was going to get, welcoming both the idea of waking up in a world where Hiiro and I would potentially be together forever and the prospect of some hellaciously wet dreams.
~ * ~ tbc... |
