|
"The Wedding Planner"Written By: Snowdragonct Disclaimer: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing or the characters, more's the pity. This is for fun...no profit involved. Warnings: AU, yaoi, some OOC, angst, potential lemon(s), sickening sappy fluff Pairings: to be announced, or it’d be too easy (but you know who I like) A/N: This idea hit me while I was driving somewhere, and I needed to start it before the inspiration faded. But it will take second place to Boot Camp and the sequel to Boot Camp, so I can’t promise regular or frequent updates. It’s probably totally predictable FLUFF, so you have been warned. And I’m trying out the world of first-person here, with point of view shifting between Heero and Duo (maybe others…not sure yet). Rating: NC 17 Summary: Heero isn't thrilled when Relena hires
someone to plan their wedding, but once he meets the young man, he's
downright unhappy. Duo Maxwell is friendly, good looking, and spending
way too much time with Relena...Heero's jealousy knows no bounds.
"The Wedding Planner"
Chapter Fifty Nine: Sorting Things Out Heero’s Point of View After leaving the beach, I headed for Relena’s estate to tell her how my visit with Duo had gone. When I got there, she was on the veranda as usual, sipping tea and gazing somberly across the gardens, watching the sunset. She looked up with a rather wan smile. “Well? How did it go?” I shrugged. “He was opening the envelope when I left.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “You didn’t stick around? Did you at least tell him how you feel?” I shook my head, sitting across from her. “He made it pretty clear I’ve burned that bridge.” I don’t know what I expected anyway. Had I really thought Duo would accept my apology and fall into my open arms? One look at his battered face had put that notion to rest. I recalled asking Relena why she’d still care about Duo after he hit her. I could pose the same question to myself. Why would Duo still care after what I’d done to him? Relena’s blue eyes narrowed astutely. “Exactly what did he say that made it so ‘clear,’ Heero?” “He said he wasn’t in love and that he was better off without that kind of baggage. He said—this was goodbye.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the burning feeling in them. “He was lying,” Relena said flatly. I snorted at that. “How would you know?” “Because I saw his face when he showed up here and found me with—Geoffrey.” She grimaced a little at having to mention her infidelity again. I hadn’t bothered to tell her I’d slept with Duo, and saw no reason to now. “He wasn’t angry because he was your friend,” she continued with certainty. “Wufei’s your friend—and he would have coldly and calmly thrown Geoffrey out and lectured me about my obligation to you. Duo was completely, irrationally furious—because he saw me throwing away the only thing he wanted—you.” I swallowed hard, and my feeble attempt at a laugh sounded more like a sob. “Damn it, Relena! That was before I hurt him! Before I believed my eyes and ears instead of my heart. He forgave me for the beating. But I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for thinking he’d hurt you on purpose.” “He will, Heero,” she insisted. “When he has time to think about it, he’ll know that it was only your love for him that made you so quick to feel betrayed.” “What kind of love is there without trust?” I asked miserably. “The kind you and I had,” she said sadly. “And that’s my fault—I know it now.” Her forehead creased in a little thoughtful frown. “I’m the one who made you think jealousy was a way to express your love. If I hadn’t been such a flirt, and so quick to make you insecure, you wouldn’t be that way.” I thought back to the beginnings of our relationship, and realized that I hadn’t, in fact, been quite the jealous idiot I’d become of late. I guess some of it was learned behavior after all. “Maybe I don’t know how to feel any other kind of love,” I suggested. “Duo could teach you.” “Duo’s a flirt,” I pointed out. “Like you.” “But with a difference. He’s unattached. I’ll bet when he was with his fiancés, he wasn’t a flirt at all. I’ll bet they never doubted that he was theirs alone.” She gazed out across the gardens pensively. “He could teach you what real love is about, if you weren’t afraid to let him.” That earned her a sharp glance. “Afraid?” “Yes, Heero.” She sat up a little straighter, looking more like the composed diplomat I was used to seeing. “Sally and I had a long talk this morning. I think Wufei’s had a strong influence on her way of thinking.” She sipped her tea thoughtfully. “We both noticed that you don’t like to lose control, Heero…of yourself…or a situation…or your life. I—I think you might have to if you really want to be with Duo.” “Have to what?” I asked listlessly. “Give up control.” Relena looked inordinately pleased with herself and the observations she’d made. “You need to put all the cards in Duo’s hands, let the decision be his to make, and be willing to trust that his love for you is strong enough for him to risk letting you in again.” “He said goodbye.” “And I told you before—he lied.” “You know this how?” She shrugged. “I don’t. I just know how deep his feelings seemed to run. I don’t think he could cast them aside so easily.” “There was nothing easy about it,” I muttered. “I nearly killed him, Relena. Believe me—he’s not stupid enough to give me another opportunity.” “Then what do you propose to do?” she asked rather impatiently. “You can’t be thinking of going through with our wedding—?” “Why not?” I asked carelessly. “It’s all planned.” “Yes—and it would be a total sham. You know perfectly well you can’t trust me—and I know perfectly well you don’t love me.” “Relena, I—.” “No, Heero. You know that’s true. If we married now, it would only be a business arrangement.” “I thought that’s what you wanted.” “So did I, for awhile. But maybe Duo changed me a bit, too. I see now that I want someone who’s here for me more than you could ever be…someone who enjoys the social life the way I do. Even when you’re here, there’s this…distance…between us.” She gave me a fond look. “And you! You need someone who’s just for you, which is something I obviously can’t give.” She shook her head firmly. “I’ve been blind and stupid and selfish—and it only became clear to me after I saw what real love was.” “From Duo,” I guessed. “No—from you.” She gave me a piercing look from those blue eyes. “If you really love him, don’t you owe it to him to tell him?” “And if he laughs in my face?” I asked bitterly. She only smiled serenely. “That’s where the trust comes in. You know him better than I do. Could you honestly picture him ridiculing you for admitting your feelings?” I started laughing then—ruefully—thinking how very much Relena and I deserved each other. We’d both been raised with very selfish notions of love. We both thought that our own wants and needs somehow superseded those of our partner. And for the first time, I truly tried to put aside my desires and take a moment to wonder what Duo’s might be. In all of our conversations—the stolen moments—the brief, intimate exchanges—where were the glimpses of what he dreamed about, and what he needed? Sure, there was the beach house. But I’d just given him that, and I had a feeling it wasn’t enough to bring the smile I loved so much back to his face. I was afraid I’d ruined that for good. God, what I would’ve given for five minutes with Solo or Alex. They’d both known the key to Duo’s happiness—they were still able to provide it now and then, even from beyond the grave. I couldn’t even compete with two dead guys. What the hell good was I? Relena stood up and patted my shoulder on her way past. “Find a way, Heero,” she suggested. “Do whatever it takes to win him back.” “What about you?” I asked quickly. “What will you do?” “I’ll learn to live with a little less money if it means I can be with the one who makes me happy,” she said quietly, sounding both relieved and sad. “You need to find a way to be with the one who makes you happy.” I nodded, and she went inside, leaving me there brooding as the night crept in and the sky turned dark. And it wasn’t until well after dark that I knew what I needed to do. First and foremost, I had to make a trip back to Japan to see my parents. I couldn’t offer Duo anything until I made peace with my own demons. My parents needed to know the truth about me. Relena already did. And if there was a company policy about same-sex relationships, I’d need to deal with that, too—all before I could throw myself at Duo’s feet and beg him to give me another chance. And I was finally ready to do it.
“Of course.” The dark eyes were pensive. “What do you plan to do when you come back?” “Hm?” “Well, you’re asking about company policy. Does that mean you intend to have a public relationship with Duo when you come back from Japan?” “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Face it, Wufei. He may never talk to me again for all I know. I haven’t heard a word about the beach house and it’s been nearly a week.” “He’s probably still in shock. You have to admit, that’s a hell of an apology to dump on him.” “It’s something he wanted…something he couldn’t afford on his own.” I frowned down at the stack of work on my desk. “I know he’s probably a little miffed about it, too, because he was too proud to ask Quatre to help him buy it. Having it given to him was probably a bit of a slap in the face to his pride.” I looked up resolutely. “But I don’t care. His pride is less important than his happiness—and if that place makes him even a little happy, it was worth every penny and worth a small sacrifice of pride.” “Want me to try to find out his feelings on the subject?” I shook my head. “No, ‘Fei. Just leave him alone. Let him have his space and his privacy, and when I get back, I’ll call Quatre and see if he’ll arrange a meeting that doesn’t violate the restraining order or make Duo uncomfortable in any way. I’m not going to screw this up again.” My dear friend smiled warmly. “Finally, you’ve got your act together. For a while there, I thought love had permanently messed with your common sense and thought processes. This is the Heero Yuy I know and love—back at last.” I smirked at his melodrama. I was beginning to think Duo rubbed off on everyone he met. And that was definitely not a bad thing. “Thanks ‘Fei.” “You’re welcome.” He picked up the pile of folders. “I’ll take these to the file clerk, Yuy. You keep going. The more you’ve got finished before you leave, the less you’ll have to deal with upon your return.” As he disappeared out the door, I looked back down to see an unopened envelope on my desk. It had been buried under the pile of incoming work; but now I picked it up and unsealed it, curious about the contents. “Well I’ll be damned. Howard remembered,” I said with a wistful smile, spreading out the pictures of Duo and me across my desk. There were several shots at varying distances, but Howard had done an amazing job with that telephoto lens. In the picture with Duo sprawled against my chest, you could actually see the lustful gleam in the indigo eyes. I might not have recognized it if I hadn’t seen it that night in Duo’s bed. But now I knew it for what it was, and nearly groaned aloud at the memories it brought back. I could have stood there for hours reliving every moment I’d spent in Duo’s company. “What’ve you got there?” came Wufei’s voice as he strolled back in with a fresh stack of work for me. “The day Duo and I went sailing—Howard got pictures of us with the giraffe,” I told him, leaning back to let him see the photos. He smirked and shook his head, leaning on the edge of the desk to study the pictures. “Good God, Yuy. When you said the giraffe was huge, I thought you were exaggerating.” “I don’t exaggerate, Wufei. You of all people should know that.” “I stand corrected.” His lips twitched with irrepressible mirth at the shot where Duo was clinging to me. “You never mentioned that you were half-naked for the sail across the bay.” “We used my shirt and some other spare clothes to tie the giraffe to the mast.” I felt a wave of nostalgia. “God, ‘Fei…I want him back.” “Maybe if you asked Duo for joint custody…” he teased. “Not the giraffe, idiot!” I snarled. “I want Duo back.” Wufei chuckled unrepentantly. “You still take the bait every time,” he gloated. “Of course you meant Duo. And I’m going to do anything I can to help you get him back, as soon as you return from Japan. How long will you be gone, anyway?” “Three weeks.” “Are you sure your parents won’t throw you out after three days?” he asked, only half-joking. “I’m hoping they won’t. I don’t plan to break the big news to them until I’ve been there a week.” “Stalling again?” “No. I’m going to talk to our old family doctor and see if he’ll recommend a counselor. I’d like to have someone on hand nearby to help me work through the fallout after I tell my parents I’m gay.” Wufei raised an eyebrow. “Smart move. I’m impressed. You really are starting to think again. You’ve planned this out rather thoroughly.” I nodded. “I figure after a couple of sessions with the therapist I’ll be ready to talk to my parents, and then when they react, I’ll have someone to discuss it with.” I looked up at my friend. “I’ll probably be calling you, too. But I thought it was wise to have a professional in on the plan and close by.” “Very wise.” Wufei acknowledged. “And I’ll be happy to help in any way I can,” he added graciously. “Could you make sure no one sweeps Duo off his feet and marries him while I’m gone?” I joked rather weakly. He grinned wickedly. “Shall I arrange to keep Milliardo Peacecraft as far away from him as possible?” He’d hit on my biggest insecurity, and I winced. “I wish,” I muttered. “Maybe if I call Relena she’ll keep her brother on a short leash for me.” “Why don’t you just buy him a one-way ticket to the Bahamas for a few weeks? Perhaps that would keep him out of your way.” I shook my head. “I hate to say it. But if I come back from Japan and Duo is with Milliardo, it will be nothing less than I deserve.” Wufei snorted wryly. “But from all you’ve told me, it will also be a lot less than Duo deserves.” “I hope he remembers that.” “You have to stop worrying about the what-ifs, Yuy. All you can do is get your life in order and hope you’re in time.” His onyx eyes gleamed with concern. “If it’s any comfort, I think you will be.” I hung on to those words even as I finished my stack of work, packed up the pictures, and headed home to pack for my flight to Japan.
I wanted him to know this was all for him…that for his sake, and his alone, I’d brave the brunt of my parents’ disapproval. It didn’t matter if they hated me…or even if they disowned me. If they never spoke to me again, I’d still be content, if only Duo would. If he’d give me a chance to be his friend, or more than a friend, it would be worth any sacrifice I might have to make. I’d even risk my job and my future just for the chance to be with him. If I could only prove that to his satisfaction, I thought maybe, just maybe, he might give me one more chance. And that was all I needed. tbc... |
