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"Thousand words"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, angst, fluff, Lemon, OOC Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo and Heero have to share a dorm room
in college and they become best friends. When they discover that neither
has time for, nor interest in a girlfriend, they explore a friends
with benefits relationship. But sex never remains uncomplicated. " Thousand words" Chapter sixteen We had dinner in an informal restaurant where I attempted to engage him in a game of footsie under the table, but the concept was more or less lost on him, it appeared. The first few times our feet met he apologized and retreated, when it kept happening as I continued to blindly feel around for him, he just started to get annoyed. It was pretty amusing though. With a laugh I gave up and just watched him as he picked the best fries off his plate, chewing on them thoughtfully. When he asked me what I planned for us to do the rest of the evening, an obviously answer sprang to mind, but before it could blurt past my lips, I suddenly had a different, bold idea. I wanted to go to that gay club that I had come across during my web search earlier. After the events of that day I felt energized, I felt alert... I felt alive. I fucking felt like dancing. A certain sense of ecstasy had built up inside me and it had to be released or else I would explode, I was sure of it. A straight club would have been an easier sell to Heero, but I had the pity-card to play. After all, even if I didn't feel that way, I had had a pretty traumatic day. And if we went to a regular club, we would have to pretend to just be friends, I didn't want to pretend. Not that night. It had felt amazing to walk through the university hallways and through the streets even, holding his hand. I wanted to recapture that feeling, and magnify it by tenfold. I wanted to dance with him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hold him. And I wanted the world to see - or... well, the gay community of Columbus would suffice. I recognized it was as close to being open about our 'relationship' as we ever could be and it seemed like a terrible waste not to make use of it. He agreed to go. It wasn't even that difficult to pester him into agreeing with me, making me smile and making me ponder the meaning of it all. After getting lost on our way back to the hotel, we finally made it back and we showered and changed. I was giddy, there was no other word for it. Heero emerged from the bathroom in a tight pair of blue jeans and a red button-up shirt. I stared lustfully, second-guessing my decision not to stay in for the evening and confine him to the bed. I had purposefully chosen a room with only one, double bed. I had expected some objection on his behalf, but he hadn't even mentioned it when we first walked in to drop of our bags earlier that day. "You look great." He made a face and looked down at himself. "I'm not so sure. What the hell does a person wear to a gay club?" "Since I know you don't have a sequenced shirt and assless chaps, I guess this will do." I chuckled, then let out an exaggerated moan. "What?" "We should get you a pair of leather chaps..." I laughed until I had a pillow thrown into my face which caused me to fall backwards off my chair. "Your birthday is coming up." "Don't you even fucking dare, Maxwell!" He sat down on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. As he tied the laces I crawled onto the bed as well, moving forward until I was on my knees behind him. I put my hands on my shoulders, rubbing them briefly before running my hands down his front. "You'd look so good in leather chaps." "You're fucking crazy." He gasped when I found a nipple through the thin fabric of his cheap shirt. "What are you doing? I thought you wanted to go out? You practically set up a power point presentation to convince me." I scoffed. "I did not!" With one hand on his chin I tried to get him to turn his head to face me so I could kiss him, but he resisted. "Do you want to go to that gay club so badly?" I teased. "No! I just don't want to be all..." He shrank into himself. "All what?" "I don't want you to get me all horny before we go! It's weird enough as it is." I sat back, releasing him. "What's weird about it?" He looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Sequence and chaps." I laughed and climbed off the bed, moving to the mirror to fuss over my hair and adjust my black clothes. "That was just a joke, I hardly think that's the norm, even in a gay club." "But still..." He argued pitifully. "We're not like that, but they are all going to think that we are." I fumbled with a button, pretending to be preoccupied with deciding whether to go with two or three unbuttoned. Coolly, I asked: "We're not like what?" I could practically feel him glare at me, it burned and itched. "Gay." I stared at my own reflection. How could he honestly still feel that way? I was a pretty open-minded guy, especially with regards to sex. I didn't think sleeping with someone of the same gender necessarily makes a person gay - I happily suggested fucking Heero before I realized my own sexual orientation - but considering everything between us, how could he still say something like that? Like it would be preposterous, not to mention wrong, for us to be gay. The thought that all the intense feelings I had been experiencing might be completely unrequited was painful and certainly affected my mood, but I didn't want the day to end like that, I wanted to go back to that feeling of happiness and contentment. Casually I replied: "Of course we aren't." I furrowed my brows at myself, it didn't feel good lying to my friend like that, about my sexuality, but I couldn't risk saying anything that would screw this up, not when it meant so much to me. "But those guys are going to think that we are. They're going to hit on us. They're going to... try things..." He made a face. I tried to make light of everything, even as my heart started to get weighed down and slowly sank into my gut, causing an overwhelming nausea. "Don't flatter yourself," I deadpanned. "I'm serious, it's going to be weird." "Then let's just pretend that we are boyfriends, they will leave us alone." He buried his face in his palms at the suggestion. "This arrangement keeps getting weirder and weirder." I turned around to face him. "It's hardly a stretch, not much of an act. We're best friends who fuck, how different is that from a relationship?" I swallowed, realizing what a huge risk I had taken by saying that. I approached the bed and grabbed his arm and hoisted him up. "Let's just go, don't overthink it. It'll be fun!" He allowed me to tug him along, out of our hotel room and down to the lobby where we waited for a taxi. I could tell he got embarrassed when clearly the taxi driver recognized what kind of club he was taking us to. The man himself hardly seemed bothered by the notion, but I could tell it was eating away at Heero. We could hear the music before we even got out of the car. A rather monotonous, simple beat. From the outside the club didn't look like much, but there was a crowd of smokers outside, implying that it was a busy club. I didn't spot any sequence nor chaps. I paid the driver and pushed Heero out of the car. I was eager to go inside, it would be a first for me and obviously, considering my newly discovered homosexuality, it was an anticipated experience for me, regardless of the fact that I wasn't really interested in any other guy than Heero. I was eager to see what it was like and what it would feel like to dance with him, his body close to mine, our movements sensual, the music reverberating in our chests. It was still pretty early in the evening, so there wasn't a line fortunately. When we entered we found ourselves in a dark space with black walls, black floor, black ceiling and a clack curtain leading further into the club. There was a guy behind a desk, where we paid the entry fee, who took our coats and gave us a ticket in exchange. Just as we were about to head inside, he purposefully cleared his throat. I looked back at him expectantly. "You have to take off your shirts." "Excuse me?" "It's shirtless Saturday, you have to take off your shirts." Heero glared at me. "Are you kidding me?" "How the fuck was I supposed to know? Besides, what's the big deal?" I popped the buttons of my shirt and shrugged the fabric off my shoulders. I tucked one end of the article of clothing into the back pocket of my black jeans. With a silly grin I helped Heero out of his shirt and shamelessly cupped his ass while securing one end of the red fabric in his back pocket. With my hand on his lower back I guided him through the curtain, onto the dance floor. He was nervous and reluctant, I tried not to let it get to me. The music was overpowering, it was so loud it was like a physical presence, thickening the air. Colored beams of light moved through the space, gliding over half naked bodies that shone with sweat. Dancing either meant jumping up and down to the beat or vertical dry-humping. I felt Heero tense, he was about ready to bolt. I leaned in and had to shout in his ear to be heard: "Let's go get a drink!" "I don't drink!" I rolled my eyes, of course I knew that, but I figured it was about time for him to make an exception. "You'll feel more relaxed!" "I'll feel more relaxed if we get out of here!" I pretended not to hear him and pulled him along. I made sure to hold onto his hand tightly as we wormed our way through the crowd to the bar at the other end of the club. Heero was holding on tightly as well, holding on for dear life it felt like. At the bar there was a single empty stool and I pushed Heero onto it. Leaning over him I raised my hand to get the attention of the bartender and I ordered us two shots of tequila. I put the shot glass to my lips and tipped my head back. Heero wasn't quite so eager, his glass remained on the bar, he idly traced the rim of the glass with his index finger. "Take your time," I joked. "I'm going to take a piss!" He shot a disconcerted look over his shoulder. "You're going to leave me alone out here?" "Would you rather join me in the restroom? Who knows what kind of sordid things go on in there!" I laughed when he promptly brought the shot glass up to his mouth and downed the drink, scrunching up his face at the taste. "I'll be right back!" I would have preferred not to leave his side, but my own anxiety and excitement required me to make a visit to the rest rooms. I had butterflies in my stomach that were prodding my bladder. After quite a search I found a staircase heading down into the basement where the restrooms were. The hallway leading down was crammed with couples who had sought out the relative privacy of the poorly lit corridor to properly make out. Broad-shouldered men had their partners pushed up against the wall, ravishing their mouth. A number of guys had their pants pushed down to mid-thigh and were shamelessly jerking each other off, not caring that other patrons - on their way to and fro the restrooms - stopped to gawk at them, even touching themselves through their trousers. I took a deep breath and made my way through, trying hard not to stare. In the restroom all the stalls were in use, but judging by the heated moaning and the rhythmic shuddering of the partitions I doubted the toilets were getting much use. But I wasn't judgmental. If anything, I was jealous. These men were free to do whatever they wanted and self-aware enough to enjoy it. There was no denial here, just wild abandon. As I was standing in front of the urinal a guy invaded my personal space, with complete disregard for the fact that the front of my jeans were open and I was exposed. He leaned in close and remarked: "I love your hair." "Eh, thanks." I tucked myself back into my underwear and moved to the sinks. He followed me. I looked up at the mirror and saw him standing behind me. A handsome man, although many years my senior. He was a little shorter than me, as most people were, but he was incredibly muscled. The definition of his chest and abdomen was admirable. I turned around to face him and let my eyes briefly trail further down, out of curiosity. Then I suddenly burst into laughter. He furrowed his brows, dissatisfied with my reaction. "Dick." Without further ado he walked away to chat up someone else. Still smiling I made my way upstairs and back to the bar. The grin I had been sporting vanished from my face when I noticed two guys flanking Heero, leaning in way too close to my liking. One of them had his big hand on the back of the stool Heero was sitting on, very nearly touching what only I was allowed to touch. I elbowed my way through the rest of the crowd and forcefully inserted myself in between Heero and the guy on his left, effectively pushing him aside without paying any heed to his grumbling 'cockblock' remark. I draped my arm possessively around Heero's bare shoulders and glared at the other guy. "They were buying me drinks," Heero stupidly explained. I noticed the several empty shot glasses in front of him. 'I don't drink' he always said, I scoffed inwardly. "I can see that," I replied. I could see the empty glasses as well as I could see the haze in his eyes and the blush on his cheeks. "Whatever happened to 'No, thank you, I don't drink'?" "You told me to loosen up." "Yeah, I didn't tell you to get wasted, though." I redirected my gaze to the flirtatious guy on Heero's right, who was still right there - sitting so annoyingly close to him. "Do you mind?" "Mind what?" "Fucking off." "Hey man, he didn't say anything about being spoken for-" "He's mine!" I ignored Heero's puzzled expression and stared the man down. "Sheesh," He slid off the stool and disappeared into the crowd. "Why are you acting like this?" Heero wondered, shrugging my arm off his shoulders. "Like what?" "Like you want to pee on my leg to mark your fucking territory." I reeled back, his tone was angry and his eyes cold. But then all of a sudden he erupted into inexplicable laughter and he seemed to forget all about being mad at me. The alcohol must have started to get to him. Whether he realized it or not though, he was mine. The thought of someone else's hands on his body made me shudder and knotted up my stomach. I wouldn't stand it. He may not agree to being my boyfriend, he may not even agree to being gay at all, but our deal was to be exclusive, so I had every right to call him mine. "Want to hear something funny?" He nodded. I leaned in, cupped my hand around his ear and told him: "I saw a guy with assless chaps in the restroom." He laughed again, it was a delicious sound, too bad the loud beat of the music drowned out most of it. "He was hitting on me and all of a sudden I noticed he was wearing chaps and I laughed right in his face." For whatever reason he wasn't amused anymore, even though I thought it was a pretty funny coincidence. "Hitting on you?" He inquired unsubtly. I grinned. Could he be jealous? "He loved my hair." "He said that?" "Yeah." "What a useless thing to say." I shrugged. "I actually rather liked it." He looked down at the empty glasses in front of him, thoughtlessly rearranging them in a pattern that only existed in his increasingly inebriated mind as the alcohol traveled and spread through his system. Leaning in close I teased breathily: "Heero, are you jealous?" He frowned. "Why would I be jealous?" I sighed, perhaps I was expecting too much from him; hoping too much. I grabbed his elbow and forced him out of his seat. "Come on. Let's dance." I started pulling him along. "I'm really drunk right now!" He said in objection, but he hardly resisted my pull as I tugged him along, through the writhing bodies, to the center of the dance floor. Once I had found us a spot I pulled him close against me. "Let's hope alcohol improves your dancing." "I'm a perfectly adequate dancer when I'm sober!" He argued pathetically. I laughed. When I dragged Heero to clubs before the most he would do was bob his head as he remained seated at the bar for the entire duration of the evening. He told me he doesn't really like dancing, but I had a feeling he might like dancing with me. Heero was awkward and reluctant at first, but at the same time determined to get me to stop teasing him, so he started to follow my lead, moving to the beat of the music. Whether or not the alcohol was to thank, he wasn't doing so bad, the motions of his hips were fluid and confident, the red shirt swayed back and forth accenting the movement of his hips, his messy hair moved to the rhythm until after a while his bangs and the hair at the nape of his neck started to stick to his skin as a sheen of sweat covered his body. I was a hot mess myself, it couldn't be helped, in such a densely packed space, surrounded by heated bodies. Although it wasn't only the atmosphere that made me feel hot and bothered. "Come closer," I breathed, he couldn't have heard me over the music but he must have read my lips, seeing how his eyes widened. We were probably close enough for his liking as it was, but I wanted to feel him flush against me as we danced. With one arm I encircled his slim waist and pulled him against me. The friction that was created got me aroused, shamelessly I purposefully ground my groin against his. When he noticed the hard bulge in my jeans he was shocked at first, but after a while his eyelids lowered and his mouth opened for inaudible panting as his own manhood became erect in the confines of his jeans. Forgetting that we were surrounded by a crowd of equally horny men I spun him around. With his sweaty back pressed against my broad chest I rocked my hips into him. One arm I had wrapped around his chest to keep him close to me, my free hand dipped down to fondle him through his jeans. Heero leaned his head back on my shoulder, he squinted his eyes at the bright beams of light overhead. My lips were against his ear but I lacked the coherency to kiss, lick or nip at the shell, all I could do was breathe harshly. Even though we were still moving in rhythm with the music, our activity could hardly be called dancing. Unfortunately a man close to us, who had been dancing by himself, took notice of that and given the public setting he probably assumed he was free to join in. He moved closer to us, his eyes dark and hooded. I became aware of his approach just in time to stop him from pressing himself up against Heero's front with the intention of sandwiching the beautiful Japanese man between our taller frames. I extended my arm and held my hand up to keep him at bay, glaring dangerously at him, but he wouldn't meet my gaze, he was hungrily staring at Heero's heaving chest, his rippling abdomen and his obvious erection. Heero became aware of what was happening in spite of his drunken and lust-filled state. Embarrassed he turned around in my embrace, burying his nose under my chin. The guy got the message and didn't make a big deal of the rejection. He turned around and found himself a different dance partner. Heero and I stood still in the middle of the dance floor. I kissed the top of his head and jested: "We sure are popular tonight." "That was really careless of us," He spoke against my chest. "We shouldn't lose control like that, getting hard and practically fucking in public." I tightened my arms around him. I agreed that it had been foolish, but for different reasons. While Heero was embarrassed of being seen like that, my only concern was that I didn't want anybody else to see him like that; those passionate eyes, the red hue on his cheeks, his hard nipples, the outline of his arousal in his pants, those were for my eyes only. I regretted letting it get out of hand like that. "I'm sorry. I took it too far, I'm sorry." "It's not your fault. I lose myself too easily to you." I was confused, I didn't know what he meant, if he meant to say what I desperately wanted him to say or if I was just reading too much into it. I slowly swayed us from side to side; we ended up slow-dancing to the relentless beat of trance music, amidst a sea of bodies jumping up and down in unison. I had one hand on his lower back, the other on the back of his neck. My face was buried in his silken hair, I loved the way he smelled, faint note of generic hotel shampoo accompanied by a scent that I had grown to love; his natural scent. Maybe pheromones were at play, I didn't pretend to know, I just knew I couldn't get enough of it as I breathed in deeply and greedily. Although my erection had long disappeared there was still urgency in my tone of voice when I told him I wanted to go back to the hotel room. He disentangled himself from me and looked me in the eyes, my lust still evident there. "Yeah, let's go," He agreed. I protectively held onto him as I took us back to the exit where we hastily slipped back into our shirts and exchanged the tickets for our coats. The air outside was chilled, especially in comparison to the near unbearable heat inside the club. A cold drizzle made matters worse, getting us wet and cold as we waited for a taxi. The entire time we weren't looking at each other, nor speaking to each other, but we were holding hands. In the unexpected but welcome warmth of the taxi cab it was difficult to keep my hands to myself. If I wasn't so acutely aware that Heero would not appreciate the driver being witness to anything, I would have rolled on top of him and worked my hands under his coat and shirt to find and tease his nipples. Thinking about these things didn't make restraining myself any easier. With a fast pace we crossed through the lobby - I think Heero was equally eager, just somewhat better at hiding it than I was - we stepped into the elevator and stood shoulder to shoulder. As soon as the doors had fully slid shut and the elevator started it's ascend I roughly pushed Heero against one of the four mirrored walls and pressed myself against him in a heartbeat, pressing one knee against the wall between his parted legs. I worked his coat open and popped the single button that held the sides of his shirt together. My hands roamed, pinching his nipples and tracing the shape of his ribs as his chest contracted with sharp gasps. I burned hot kisses onto his neck before tilting my head up to whisper hotly in his ear: "Heero, may I kiss you again?" His hands reached up and cupped my jaw firmly, I saw only a flash of determined blue before he closed his eyes and pulled my face down towards his. Our mouths clashed together. The kiss that followed was sloppy, uncoordinated and, at times, painful as our teeth would bump into each other or we would rake the other's lips too harshly in our desperation. In the meantime I was delighted Heero had starting rubbing himself up and down my thigh, with my own clothed erection getting plenty of satisfying friction as well. When I attempted to deepen the kiss, spurred on by his wanton enthusiasm, he promptly closed his mouth, denying my tongue access. Just that moment a ding sounded and the doors opened on our floor. Luckily there had been no other guests waiting, or they would have gotten an eyeful. I twisted my fingers into the front of his coat and ripped him out of the elevator. We stumbled down the hallway to our door, luckily not too far away. When I unlocked the door we practically fell face-first inside, but fortunately we were able to balance ourselves. I kicked the door shut and made haste to rid him of his coat and shirt before helping him strip me out of most of my clothing. I let out a throaty moan when Heero firmly cupped the bulge in the bulge of my jeans while he suckled on my Adam's apple. It seemed he quickly figured it was better to press our groins together and rock our hips, so that's what we did. We were both moaning loudly. "We have to slow down," I said, "Or I'm going to blow my load in my jeans." Something as embarrassing as that hadn't happened to me in many years, but Heero had a much more powerful effect on me than anybody else I had ever been with. Heero didn't listen to me, unable to control himself. His hands kneaded my sides, roamed my back and twisted my braid around a fist. I chuckled but put a reign on things. "Heero, slow down, I don't want this to be over yet." I forced him to step back until his back connected with the wall and with a single hand I pinned his wrists above his head. I groaned watching him bite his lower lip and stare at me with passionate, clouded eyes. "Slow..." I repeated in a whisper. He let out a pathetic whine and halfheartedly struggled to free his hands. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips, smiling when Heero pushed his head off the wall, following me as I pulled back. I continued to kiss him sensually and languidly. It was better than I had ever dreamed it would be. The fact that kissing him felt so different - so much better - from all the times I kissed girls confirmed to me that I was truly, madly in love with him. My fingers ghosted over his chest and he arched his back in response. My tongue emerged to lick his lower lip and I was met with no resistance that time, although I did feel his body tense. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and coaxed his into a tentative battle. Soon enough his shyness evaporated and he allowed me to ravish his mouth before pushing his tongue into mine and returning the favor. So much for taking things slow, I thought helplessly. I let go of his wrists and grabbed his ass with both hands and lifted him up. Walking over to the bed Heero wrapped his legs around my hips and his arms around my neck, holding on to me while we still distractedly exchanged heated kisses. I sat down on the edge of the bed, with Heero in my lap. As we paused to breathe, he confessed: "I love your hair too, you know?" "Huh?" "That guy who said he loved your hair... I love your hair too." In all likelihood it was the tequila talking, but there had to be some truth to his statement, alcohol only made people less inhibited. I forced our lips together again. "Thank you," I moaned between kisses. With my hands still firmly on his ass I felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket before the familiar chirp sounded, muffled by the denim. I released his lips and chuckled sheepishly at his displeased expression. He reached back and fished the phone out of his pocket. He had no choice but to answer, she would just keep calling otherwise. "It's one thirty AM for God's sake. You'd think after nearly four years she'd the remember the time difference between here and Japan." "The woman has Alzheimer's," I defended, "You can hardly expect her to remember time zones." "But it's never my grandmother who calls, it's always my mother," He grumbled. He shot me an apologetic look before he answered the call, putting the phone to his ear. "Moshi moshi." I leaned back on my elbow with a sigh studying his naked torso and listening to the one-sided conversation in foreign words that I didn't understand but liked the exotic sound of. Heero was very curt, obviously annoyed, even though he usually loved getting to speak to his grandmother over the phone. Typically it meant she was having a good day and that, in turn, brightened his day. This time around, however, he was a little preoccupied. I smirked and pushed my hips off the bed, grinding my arousal against his bottom. He let out a startled gasp and with bright red cheeks he seemed to be making excuses for what the sound had really been. He said his goodbye quickly after that and all but threw the phone across the room. He leaned forward, bringing his face close to mine. "Not nice," He chastised, his fingers idly tracing the shapes of my abdominal muscles. "Hmm..." With a grin on my lips I took hold of his hips and continued to thrust my pelvis up. "Don't even pretend you don't like every second of it." Heero's mouth opened and his eyes slid closed as he moaned loudly, pushing back against my sensitized groin. After a while he grabbed my hands and peeled my fingers off his flesh. "I'm doing playing games," He ground out, "I want you." He stood next to the bed, undid his jeans and pushed them down to his ankles. No underwear, I noted appreciatively. I raised my hips off the bed just enough for him to practically rip off my jeans. My shoes flew across the room. Both of us naked, Heero crawled past me to the center of the bed, laying down on his back, his lithe body sensually stretched out on the sheets. I wasted no time getting on all fours and moving over to him. He willingly spread his legs, allowing me to settle on my knees between his golden thighs. Leaning forward I licked his stomach, suckled on each nipple and kissed my way up his elegant, long neck to capture his mouth. I took my time, even though I could tell Heero was eager for me to take him. I wanted it to last. I wanted it to be special. It felt like the very first time. In a way it was, the atmosphere was so differently now that I was allowed to kiss him. The act of touching him became infinitely more intimate with our lips locked and our tongues sparring. And I was thrilled to find Heero to be an excellent kisser; submissive at the right times, dominant at the right times, not too wet, not too deep, not demanding but generous. It was perfect. Inevitably though, I reached the limit of what I could stand. "Say it again," I begged. It dawned on me that maybe I should have been more specific in my request, but evidently Heero knew exactly which words I wanted to hear. "I want you." I love you, I thought secretly in reply. For the time being hearing him say 'I want you' would be enough. I couldn't expect any more from him. Since I had unwisely neglected to bring lube in my previous, nervous state, we had to make do without. I would have been worried if not for the fact that Heero didn't seem to mind last time we just used saliva. I spat into my hand a couple of times and rubbed the bodily fluid over my erection, taking care not to stimulate myself too much. I moved to quickly prepare him, just in case, but he grabbed my wrist and told me not to. I trusted him to know what he could handle and what would feel good to him, so I ended up not using my fingers on him. I hooked my hands under his knees and pushed his knees all the way up to his chest, at shoulder's width, fully exposing him. The look in Heero's eyes was one of passion and trust, he hadn't been uncomfortable with the vulnerability of any of his positions as the bottom for a while, he was just eager to give and to receive the pleasure we had both become familiar with and had grown addicted to. Sitting on my knees I maneuvered myself until the head of my arousal pressed against his tight opening. I leaned forward, putting more of my weight on my hands still planted on the hollow of his knees. I looked at his face, needing some kind of confirmation that he was ready. "Go slow," He breathed. "I really... I really want to feel you stretch me." A deep groan vibrated in the back of my throat. I kept my gaze affixed to his features as I slowly pushed inside him, biting my lip painfully to balance out the incredible pleasure his tight heat provided me. His mouth was wide open, but he was holding his breath. He looked deeply into my eyes until I was about halfway inside him, when he lifted his head off the pillow and looked down his body at where he and I became one. A raspy moan escaped him. I was tempted to look down as well, knowing it to be quite a glorious and satisfying sight, but it was the first time Heero had looked and I wanted to see his face as he watched. The last inch disappeared inside him and I dipped my head down to capture his lips, catching him by surprise. He rested his head back on the pillow and let me thrust my tongue into his mouth and explore him while I was fully seated inside him. Once our lips parted he begged: "Please... Move." "Talk in Japanese for me," I requested, curious to know what he would sound like purring words in that exotic language. Rather than questioning my odd desire he placed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me close to whisper in my ear: "Onegai." "Ah! Yeah, like that!" I started with slow thrusts, reveling in the tightness and the heat of his channel, made more slick by my own precum. Senseless moans poured from his lips, intermitted with the occasional foreign word that sent shivers down my spine. Even though he was using words I didn't know, I still felt like I understood what he wanted and how he felt. I picked up the pace, simultaneously leaning in for another sensual kiss. The responses of his tongue were less focused as he was clearly overwhelmed with pleasure, but it only boosted my ego. I continued to overload him with pleasure, taking one hand off his leg to roll a stiff nipple between my thumb and forefinger. I instructed him to jerk himself off and he readily obliged. The pitch of his moans changed in that characteristic way and he tightened around me. Recognizing it to be the home stretch I placed my hands on either side of his head to support my weight and sped up my thrusts, nearly jackhammering into him. I finally had to close my eyes and let my orgasm rip through me powerfully, keeping up the relentless pace of my hips even as I was coming to bring him over the edge. Heero was a mere heartbeat behind, crying out in my ear as his orgasm overcame him. Finally I stilled, with my cock still buried deep inside him. I studied his face. He looked relaxed and absolutely content. I smiled at him and felt my heart warm when he smiled back. "Arigatou..." I groaned and lay myself down on top of him, not caring about the sticky mess, and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I knew enough to know what that word meant. Heero shook slightly as he chuckled. "The things you do to me," I muttered, then sighed happily when he started to kiss my neck and shoulders. But then suddenly it was over. Heero ordered me to get off him, not in a mean way, but in a definitive way regardless. With shaky, tired muscles I pushed myself up and carefully pulled my softened member out of him, then rolled onto the empty space next to him. The mattress shifted as he climbed off the bed and soon light from the bathroom poured into the room. I listened to him run water in the sink, cleaning himself off. I looked down at myself, I should have gotten up and cleaned myself up too, Heero's semen had stuck to my stomach when I laid down on top of him. I was too tired though. I needed a minute longer. The mattress dipped, Heero has returned. I gasped when I felt a warm, wet cloth being gently placed on my torso and used to thoroughly rub me clean. Casually I rested my hand on his thigh. "Ah-ree-gay-to." He let out a single laugh at my pitiful attempt. He leaned in close. "Arigatou," He repeated. "Ah- Ree... Oh fuck it!" I cupped his face and lifted my head up to kiss him. When we parted he chuckled again and got rid of the cloth and switched off the light in the bathroom. In the darkness, lying next to other, he remarked: "It's kind of weird to sleep in the same bed together." "Why?" "I don't know. Because it's what couples do, I guess." "And we're not a couple..." "Exactly." I stared at the ceiling. I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all. But I had no choice but to stand it. "I've never done that, you know." "What?" I rolled onto my side to face him and propped my head up on my hand. "Say things in Japanese while..." "Well, except of course when you were still in Japan." "I didn't lose my virginity until the first year of college and during the summers I've always been too busy to... think about girls." My eyes widened at his confession. I quickly found myself to be abhorrently jealous. "You were still a virgin?" He scoffed. "Not everyone loses their virginity at fourteen!" "Who was it?" I wondered curiously. "No one you know. She left after our first year." "Transfer?" "Senior. She helped me with my English." "Oh." I worried my lower lip with my teeth. But then I realized in a way he had also lost his virginity to me, a different kind of virginity and I grinned stupidly. And adding to my possessiveness was the thought that apparently I was the only one who had ever had the privilege of hearing him moan those exotic words. I wondered why he told me that, more or less out of the blue. Perhaps because he knew what kind of effect that would have on me. But then again, maybe he just used it as an excuse to remind me that he still wholeheartedly believed himself to be straight, by referencing his past sex-life with girls. Considering the emotional rollercoaster I had gone through that day it was impossible for exhaustion to not get the better of me eventually and make me drift away into a deep sleep regardless of the heartache I felt at being so close to Heero, yet still so far away. When I woke up the next morning, I found that I was spooning him. My erection lined up with the cleft of his shapely behind. Heero woke up too, noticing my arousal instantly. He reached back and grabbed my ass cheek, holding me close to him. "Be careful, I'm sore from last night." I made love to him gently, we came in perfect unison... And then I woke up for real. I squinted my eyes at the bright light, we had neglected to draw the curtains the night before - we had been a little preoccupied, after all. I lay sprawled on the bed, my hair every which way. I looked over at the empty space beside me, Heero was gone. The sound of the water running in the shower put me at ease. For a split second I had been worried he had run off or something. I turned onto my side and grabbed the pillow he had been sleeping on that night, I buried my nose into it, taking a deep breath. It smelled of him and of sex. My favorite combination. Heero emerged from the bathroom shortly in the same tight jeans from the previous night, because it was the only other pair he had brought with him, combined with his favorite black-and-blue lumberjack patterned shirt. He was still toweling his air and looked at me oddly while I was shamelessly sniffing his pillow. "Good morning." "Good morning," I mumbled into the pillow, challenging him to make a comment about me hugging the thing to my body. When he didn't make any judgmental remarks I raised my head up and asked: "How are you feeling?" "I have a headache," He admitted. I smiled. Figures. "And what about...? Down there." Considering we hadn't had proper lubrication and that we had foregone any preparation in addition to the fact that I had been pretty rough in the final leg of the event, I worried I may have inadvertently hurt him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his back towards me, and tied his shoes. "I'm a little sore." It surprised me that he admitted that so easily. "Sorry." "No need to apologize. You gave it to me exactly the way I wanted it." My morning erection twitched in response. "No regrets then?" "No." His simple reply made me happier than he could imagine. Although I was probably reading too much into it again. "Go take a shower," He advised casually, "Check out is in an hour." "Huh? What time is it?" "Eleven AM." "When did you get up out of bed?" He shrugged. "Twenty minutes ago." I grinned and crawled over to him. "You mean to tell me you slept in?" I jested. "I didn't have my running gear with me. If I had I would have gotten up earlier. Sleeping in somehow only makes me feel more tired." I knelt behind him and kissed his neck. "It's not all bad though, right?" "I guess not." Maybe sleeping in was worth it as long as he was sleeping next to me? I was allowed to indulge myself in such illusions, was I not? I got out of bed, unashamed about my nudity and my evident morning wood and took a lengthy shower. When I had finished and had gotten dressed I noticed Heero had packed for the both of us and had tidied up the room. An hour later we were on the train back home. Heero yawned frequently, apparently sleeping in really did make him more tired. Halfway through our quiet journey I felt a weight on my shoulder. Opening my eyes, leaving behind my own pleasant daydream, I looked to the side and smiled when I saw Heero had fallen asleep in the seat next to me, his body slumped against me, his head leaning on my shoulder. I listened to his slow breathing, stared at his parted lips and studied the long, dark lashes that rested on his high cheekbones. He was so beautiful, in a way that transcended the archetypes of both male and female attractiveness. He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen, inside and out. I love you. There was a slight sting in my chest at not being able to say those words aloud. I didn't dare to, not even as he was evidently fast asleep. I placed a kiss on the top of his head and closed my eyes again, continuing my daydream; diving back into a perfect world where I could say all I wanted to say and have Heero say them back to me. Dreams like that would have to do.
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