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"Thousand words"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, angst, fluff, Lemon, OOC Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo and Heero have to share a dorm room
in college and they become best friends. When they discover that neither
has time for, nor interest in a girlfriend, they explore a friends
with benefits relationship. But sex never remains uncomplicated. " Thousand words" Thirteen He returned to our dorm room after his daily, early morning run. I didn't think he realized I was awake and had been since he left. He came back in with muffled music, coming from his earphones, filling the small, dark space. We hadn't bothered to close the curtains the night before, but it was still dark outside and would be for another hour or so. More present than the music was his labored breathing as he recuperated following the physical exercise; deep controlling breaths through his nose. I strained my eyes to watch him in the dark, he unwittingly enabled my ogling by switching on a small light on the desk. Still breathing heavily and completely unaware of my interested gaze he propped one foot on the seat of one of the desk chairs and started taking off his shoes. Before we started our sexual arrangement I had never been particularly interested in his morning routine, it was mundane, boring, annoying even because sometimes he would accidentally wake me at whatever ungodly hour he decided to go out for a run. Lately though, it seemed my biological clock purposefully went off so I could be secret witness to his pre-dawn customs. The viewing was most satisfactory when he came back; with panting breaths and skin glowing with a sheen of sweat. In the winter time he exchanged his spandex shorts for skintight thermal leggings down to his ankles. I could see the shape of every finely sculpted muscle down the length of his legs. He moved to rid himself of his grey hoodie, initiating my favorite part of the spectacle. He was quite a sight in nothing but those tights, his chest bare and shining in the orange glow of the little lamp. His nipples were erect little nubs in the cool air. My eyes followed the curving lines of his silhouette. His hair was damp and stuck to his forehead and the back of his neck. He ran his hand through it, shaking the strands loose. He stood relaxed, his hips pushed forward slightly, shadows licked at hipbones and accentuated the bulge of his groin. I had never looked at anyone the way I liked looking at him, not even at the hottest girls when I still believed myself to be wholly and solely attracted to the opposite gender and not even at other guys whom I recognized to be 'hot', now that I was being honest with myself in the wake of my personal discovery. Heero was a remarkable specimen of the human race; a tight, lithesome body of understated sinewy muscles. The exotic beauty of his face I was always been aware of, from the moment we first met; the interesting blend of Western and Eastern; the best of both worlds. He finished an entire bottle of water before reaching into the closet to retrieve a towel and he switched off the light. He left to take a shower, leaving me with the privacy to shamelessly jerk off. He had that effect on me, now more than ever before. I couldn't stop looking at him. And whenever I looked at him I couldn't stop myself from thinking about that night. It was the first day of classes of the new year, but I dragged my feet and rubbed my tired eyes on my way to class like I had the previous year and every year before that. It wasn't the case that I didn't care, but I wasn't passionate about the education I had fallen back on after being refused by nearly a dozen art schools. Classes especially became a nuisance since I found something that I was passionate about: this new level to my relationship with Heero. We only had sex that one time, but since then I had experienced grave trouble keeping my eyes - and hands - off him. It seemed like he didn't want the anal sex to become the norm of our arrangement and I was willing to accept that, but regardless I couldn't stop thinking about it, fantasizing actively and excessively about future encounters. It was as agonizing to be away from him as it was to be near him. I itched and ached with longing, in a way I wasn't accustomed to. I was used to being the distant, aloof half of the couple, but Heero had taken this role upon himself and the more he played his part, the more I started to resemble a smitten schoolgirl, barely able to refrain myself from doodling his name in the sketchbook I always had on hand. I had grown possessive. I had always been possessive of his friendship - Hell, I didn't even appreciate it that he and WuFei started to get along so well before I broke ties with the Chinese man. Recently I started to feel the twinge of jealousy at even the slightest look he was given by other people. Now that I had become fully aware of Heero's captivating allure I suspected everyone whose gaze lingered of impure thoughts. Relena suffered the brunt of my irrational possessiveness, but in my defense, I was probably right in assuming her thoughts to be of the impure kind. She carried a torch for him ever since our Freshman year and she carried it like it was an Olympic sport; with disconcerting dedication. I flinched and was shaken free from my thoughts when someone practically threw themselves against me, slinging an arm around my shoulders. The sight of green momentarily confused me, but then I recognized: "Nash. Happy New Year." "You too, bro. I heard you had an awesome party and didn't invite me." "I actually didn't invite ninety-nine percent of the people who showed up." "Couldn't have been much fun without me." "It wasn't fun," I said honestly, as it hadn't been, but not due to his absence. The party had being nothing but a frustrating delay to what eventually happened between Heero and I. "I just wanted to give you a heads-up that there will be a party in our building tonight." "Haven't you partied enough?" I wondered with a sideway glance. "Never," He replied, grinning from ear to ear. He darted off to spread the news. When my class ended at noon I was like a racehorse sprinting out of the gates. I had been antsy for the lunch hour since I had my morning coffee - only because prior to my shot of caffeine I didn't have the energy to be antsy. I rushed so there wouldn't be a line at the sandwich stand and offered the librarian the usual bride which was met with an endearing smile. "Is it immoral of me to wish that you won't graduate this year?" She asked me, her mouth full with the first bite. "I sometimes wish the same thing myself," I admitted, even going so far as wishing Heero wouldn't graduate so we could be together one more year before the distance would inevitably complicate matters. Not wanting to waste my time chatting with the older woman - as much as I liked our back and forth banter - I halfhearted waved goodbye and navigated to the private study room in the back. "Holla!" I exclaimed gleefully. "Oh, thank God, I'm starving!" I chuckled and walked over to him, holding out his lunch. "How will you ever survive without me?" I jested, but the joke fell flat. "Maybe I won't." He reached for the meal but I pulled my hand away teasingly. "Maybe I should teach you to arrange for your own lunch. Maybe I should start right now." I sat down on the table next to his books and started picking at the wrapping of his favorite sandwich. "Please don't," He bemoaned pitifully, playing along. I bit back a gasp when he softly placed his hand on my thigh to make his appeal all the more convincing. I didn't think he realized what he was doing until he took note of my befuddled expression and drew his hand back into his own lap. Snapping back into a casual demeanor I handed him the sandwich and slid off the table into the chair next to his. He dug in with big, greedy bites and looked at me sheepishly, with bulging cheeks, when he became aware I was staring at him. "What?" He managed. "Nothing. Hamster." He worked on swallowing his food before he defended: "I had to skip breakfast. My morning routine took a little longer than planned." "How so?" I wondered informally, starting in on my own lunch to satisfy my stomach, which had been conditioned to last until noon on nothing but a big, strong cup of coffee. "I took my time masturbating in the shower," Was the matter-of-fact reply, but his eyes shone mischievously. I chewed slowly, stalling while I contemplated my reply. I decided to quip: "You should tell me next time. I'm more than happy to lend a helping hand." He seemed to forget about his hunger, placing the food on the table. He took a deep breath and casually laid his hand on his groin, not really fondling or even cupping, just resting there. I practically threw my sandwich onto the table, eager to participate in this game. I completely lost interest in satisfying my stomach and instead focused on stilling a different kind of carnal hunger. I extended my arm and pushed his hand away, replacing it with my own, wasting no time to insistently massage the growing bulge. He rolled his head back and moaned. "I've been horny non-stop since New Year's," I admitted candidly, too caught up in the moment to worry about how he would take the confession. "Me too," He breathed, nodding in agreement. My swelling dick pushed up against the stiff fabric of my jeans. He copied me, reaching out his hand to touch me. It was a little uncomfortable, having our arms stretched out, with our seats about two feet apart . Heero, pragmatic as he was, was quick to find a solution to the problem, a solution that thrilled me. Without a word he got up from his chair, threw one leg over my lap, both hands seeking purchase on my shoulders for balance, and took a seat on my thighs. One arm he wrapped around my neck, to keep him from falling backwards, the other hand he firmly planted on my crotch anew. "Is this okay?" He whispered, a hint of uncertainty in his voice as well as in his eyes. I bit down on my lower lip. "Ohh, fuck yeah," I ground out, encircling his waist with my left arm while my right hand made quick work of his button fly. Following my lead he popped the button of my jeans and lowered the zipper, his eyebrows raised briefly at the discovery that I had neglected to put on any underwear. His intense gaze focused on his hand as he stroked it up and down my hard length, whereas I preferred the sight of his features, studying the effects my touch had on him. Our heated breaths met and our bangs melded together as we pressed our foreheads together. I moved my left hand down and squeezed an ass cheek. I could feel him shudder. I could hear his breath come out shakily. Emboldened by his reaction I pushed my hand into the back of his tight jeans, my fingers gripping the soft flesh. I tilted my head and placed a kiss on his cheek to test the waters. He grunted and leaned further forward, burying his face in the crook of my neck. Accepting that kissing still wasn't - and would probably never be - part of the deal I had my lips pay attention to the sensitive shell of his ear and quickened the pace of my hand, letting out a low moan as he did the same. "I'm going to ruin your shirt," He warned, out of breath. "Right back at ya." I didn't feel like taking my hand off his ass to push our shirts out of harm's way. Heero came first but with his delicious keens he pulled me over the edge and I moaned throatily in his ear as I followed him into a state of rapture. He leaned against me heavily, catching his breath. His chest moved against mine. I took my hand out of the back of his jeans and stroke along his spine with feather light touches, feeling oddly content with him in my arms in the aftermath of our orgasm. Heero took a deep breath and then extracted himself from me, getting up and sitting back on the table. He covered himself back up and reached for the napkins that had come with our lunch and handed one over to me. We cleaned our shirts as best we could with the paper napkins and I inquired - slipping back into our platonic routine: "How was dinner at your dad's last night?" He shrugged. "Same old." With our shirts inside out to hide the stains we went back to our dorm room to change clothes. As we stood in the limited space between the desk and the bunk beds I smirked at him and playfully jabbed him in the side with my elbow while his arms were constricted as he was putting on a clean T-shirt. He innocently got a sweatshirt from the closet but whipped me with it across the back of my legs before putting it on. "Ow!" I rubbed my offended behind. "Oh, I'm sorry," He affronted sarcastically, "Did I hurt your ass?" We both laughed. The day dragged on and I was more distracted than ever. Exactly because I was so eager to see Heero again after a long day I agreed to an informal basketball game on the outside court. It was cold, but the sun was shining, so the weather was really no excuse to decline the invitation. I didn't really like how obsessed I was starting to get with Heero and if anything me getting increasingly clingy would only drive him away. I didn't even know why I coveted his company as much as I did. I spent so much time with Heero, how could it still not be enough? It was silly. I reminded myself of my past girlfriends who could never seem to get enough from me. I could never figure out what they wanted from me, as I was now stumped for what I really wanted from Heero. It was probably the whole kissing-thing, I thought to myself as jogged back and forth along the court as opposed to actively partaking in the game. I wrote it off as a classic case wanting something I couldn't have - wanting it for the sole reason of being denied it. When Obie dribbled past me with the ball I saw an opportunity and I snatched it from him. I easily evaded my opponents on the court as I approached the hoop and made a perfect, unobstructed shot. I grinned victoriously when the ball went through the hoop, all net. I was baffled at the laughter surrounding me. I looked around and noticed every single one of them had stopped dead in their tracks and were staring at me - some even pointing at me - as they mocked me with their roaring laughter. Obie stepped up to me and smacked me on the back of my head. "We're on the same team," He reminded me dryly. He slung an arm around my shoulders and pointed at the hoop where I had just scored. "That one's ours." "Well fuck." One of the guys jogged to the corner to retrieve the forgotten ball. "What's on your mind, Maxwell?" He teased. Obie's laugh was loud in my ear. "I'm betting girl-trouble!" The others grinned. My married friend looked at me knowingly. "I know you hooked up with someone New Year's eve." I felt my face get hot. Addressing the others he said: "I caught him in a room, supposedly 'all by himself'. Be honest, you had a chick hiding under the desk." He poked at my chest. "No, man." He snickered and let go of me, he didn't believe me. I wondered how my newly discovered sexual identity would affect my friendship with these guys, if we could still tease each other like that and be comfortable around each other, or if the atmosphere would be tense and the friendship insincere, dragging on only for old times' sake. There would be no need for them to feel uncomfortable around me, I wasn't attracted to any of them, but the matter wouldn't be quite as simple as that. Still, I wouldn't have any qualms telling them, if they couldn't accept me for who I was, I didn't need them in my life. But I wasn't going to tell them yet, even though part of me was aching to, if only due to the desire to shock them with a bluntly put confession. My coming out would raise a lot of questions regarding my relationship with Heero - since everyone already joked we were romantically involved - and I didn't think our fragile arrangement would be able to survive such questions; Heero would end it. The game continued and I had to suffer their mockery every time I managed to steal the ball away, with every single one of the members of the opposing team trying to trick me into thinking they were on my team. After bringing victory to my team despite my previous mistake we gathered the layers of clothing we had gradually discarded as the exertion had kept us warm and headed back to our respective buildings to clean up and figure out what to do for dinner. In our building Nash was already making preparations for his party. The stereo was blaring as he cleared out what little furniture we had and stacked red cups on the kitchen counter. I knew Heero would have fled the scene, but I tried not to care about where he had gone to escape the ruckus. I showered and continued working on the project that was due at the end of the month, not bothered by the background noise. When the party appeared to be in full swing I headed downstairs to mingle and make good use of the free beer. I instinctively accepted a joint that was handed to me by a stranger, but immediately passed it along to another unknown person. I found myself a corner where I could glower undisturbed after having caught sight of Hilde and Relena making rounds. Of course when she saw me she headed straight for me, trailed by Relena. "Hey," Hilde greeted with raised voice to be heard over the music. "Hey." "Happy New Year." "Yeah." I chewed on the inside of my cheek, then added: "You too." "Where's Heero?" Asked Relena. "Don't know." Relena and Hilde shared an odd look. Relena continued to me: "But aren't you guys attached at the hip?" "Jealous?" I shot back. Her expression was indignant but the answer would have been yes if she had dared to be forthcoming. Hilde leaned in and said: "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your New Year's party." "I'm not." She pursed her lips and told her friend: "Let's go. I want to get another drink." "Why?" Relena looked down at Hilde's full cup. She probably wanted to stick around me and wait for Heero to show up, knowing he would come to me like I was a homing beacon. Hilde demonstratively put the cup to her lips and tilted her head back. She made quick work of her beer and displayed the then empty cup. "Let's go." "Okay, okay." The two girls left, melting into the crowd. That actually went quite well, I quietly prided myself, noting the absence of seething rage. I just still didn't feel like hanging out with her, pretending that we could be friends again. Growing bored of the party I refilled my cup and snuck the beer upstairs, maneuvering around a couple that was making out halfway up the winding staircase. I stepped inside the cramped room and noticed the small orange light on the desk was on, even though I was sure I had switched off all the lights when I decided to join the festivities downstairs. The moan I heard made me shudder. I walked further into the room, around the foot of the bed and took in the sight of Heero lying sprawled on the lower bunk, on his stomach on top of his sheets. His sweatshirt was on the floor, the shirt he was still wearing was hiked up his back, his jeans were pushed down to mid-thigh. His ass was barely raised up, just enough so he could fit his right hand under his body to stroke himself which was clearly what he was doing. He looked at me with dark eyes as I stood there, dumbly holding my beer, staring at him. "What have you done to me?" He moaned. "I'm still so fucking horny." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm sorry?" I didn't know what to say, I could barely form coherent thoughts. He made barely perceptible thrusts with his hips, moaning as he fucked his own hand. His cheeks were red, he was clearly embarrassed, but he didn't shy away from the eye-contact. "Do you want me to help out?" I offered. "No," He groaned and his face contorted at his own, obvious lie. But I wasn't going to do anything unless he asked me for it, so I took his answer literally and questioned: "Do you want me to leave?" "No." This was no lie. If I wasn't supposed to touch but he didn't want me to leave either, I was left with only one option and it didn't bother me in the least. I sat down in one of the chairs and watched, coolly sipping my beer. He bit on his lower lip, trying to control his moans. "Tell me honestly," I started, "Did you think about me last night when you were at your dad's?" He nodded shamefully. "Did you think about me sucking your Dick?" Another nod. "What did you do in the shower this morning that took so long?" "Ahhh..." Recognizing I was on the right track, I continued devilishly: "Did you fuck yourself with your fingers?" He didn't answer but there was no need to, his expression spoke volumes; a telling mixture of mortifying shame and undeniable excitement. "Do you want to use your fingers now?" He shook his head, he was too embarrassed. Painfully hard in the confines of my jeans I put away my drink and started to unbutton my fly. "Do you mind?" I asked, pointedly looking down at my hands as I undressed myself. He didn't say anything, which I interpreted as tacit approval, since he didn't object either. He moaned favorably when I exposed myself, confirming my suspicions. We masturbated together. I wasn't sure which was a bigger turn on, the sensation of my own touch, or the sight of his clouded eyes as he watched me. I think the powerful orgasm I experienced, that exceeded any climax I had achieved on my own, removed all possible doubt from my mind. I was rather shocked by the extent to which he affected me. Even though we didn't touch each other, it was one of the most intimate moments I had ever experienced. His gaze connecting with mine was indescribably sensual. Heero wasn't far behind in reaching his completion. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in his pillow, muffling the high pitched moans while his entire body tensed up with the force of his climax. He lay still for a moment, regaining his composure, then he rolled away from the stain he had created on his sheets. Lying on his back he pushed his hips off the bed so he could pull up his jeans. I wasn't in a hurry to get dressed, relaxing in my seat instead. I nodded at his soiled sheets: "The laundry just keeps piling up." He lay back and let out a breathy chuckle. We listened to the music coming from downstairs for a while. "I really want to sleep," He expressed tiredly, referring to the noise that would keep him awake. His hand absentmindedly ran up and down his torso. "You can skip your morning run for once in your life, sleep in a little." "Hmmm..." I chuckled and got up from my seat. "Doesn't seem like you'll have any trouble sleeping." I pulled the top layer of sheets off his bed, laughing as he rolled off them, plastering himself against the wall. I got him a spare, thick blanket from the closet. Then I helped him out of his ratty old sneaker, he wasn't really incapacitated beyond the point of being able to take off his own shoes, but he didn't fight me so I supposed he appreciated the tender care I bestowed upon him. After pulling off his socks as well I selflessly offered to help him out of his jeans. His eyes remained closed but he smirked. "You can't be trusted not to sodomize me." "You're probably right." I changed into a fresh pair of underwear and a long sleeved shirt to sleep in and climbed into the top bunk, flicking the light switch at the foot of the bed before crawling over and properly planting myself face down on the mattress. After a while I rolled over so I could stare at the ceiling. "Hey, Heero?" "Hn?" Was the belated reply. "Don't spend another year completely exhausting yourself." "Why should this year be any different?" He mumbled tiredly in response. "Because this is the year the time will come you have to get your own lunch. I'm not going to be around to look after you, you have to take care of yourself." I pressed. I knew once he went back to Japan no one cared about his well-being, his mother just wanted him to earn money so he could support her and his grandmother was too far lost to Alzheimer's to mind her own health, much less her grandson's. "I'll be fine." But I won't, I thought. I always made friends easily, not to sound conceited, but people naturally gravitated towards me, I was easy to like. But I had never had a friend like Heero before and I realized grimly I would never again. He was, after all, my soul mate. Not in a romantic way, I didn't believe that the love of your life and your soul mate were necessarily the same person. I was convinced I had found my soul mate in Heero, in my friend. We were a balanced couple, equal parts opposites-attract and birds-of-a-feather-flock-together. What was I supposed to do without him? I anticipated an emptiness that would throb with phantom pain.
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