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"No Good Story Ever Started with a Salad"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Angst, hurt, comfort, AU Pairings: 2x1 Summary: He shouldn't fall in love with the silly straight boy.
"No Good Story Ever Started with a Salad" Chapter 3 Heero texted Duo on Monday to cancel their workout for that evening. An exhaustion had settled in his mind and body and he couldn't shake it. He pretended to be sick, even though he wasn't, and went to work because he had to. When he came home, he ordered in pizza, having no intention of confessing to Duo about eating all those empty carbs. He was seated on his couch, with his legs folded underneath him and the pizza box in his lap - barely touched because he had suddenly lost his appetite - when he heard a knock on the door over the sound of the TV. He ignored it. Since no one had called the intercom, and he hadn't buzzed anyone into the building, it had to be one of his neighbors. His neighbors never had anything important to say; they would only nag about someone parking their bike too close to the front door, or hanging up ostentatious Christmas lights on their balcony. He wasn't in the mood to deal with that, or pretend that their concerns and complaints were valid and he would support their plight during the next home owners meeting - that he never attended. "Heero, open up." Heero froze at the sound of Duo's deep voice coming from the other side of the door. It was seven thirty; Duo was supposed to be at the gym, working chest and back. "Your neighbor let me up. The old one? That looks like she's been dead for three years already?" Duo laughed at himself. "I know you're in there, open up." He could have ignored him and later lied about falling asleep on the couch with the TV on - because he was so sick, after all - but suddenly he was angry with Duo for showing up uninvited and demanding to be let into the apartment. He felt like giving him a piece of his mind - actually, he was really angry about that kiss that he never should have happened. He paused the TV, put the pizza aside and untangled his legs to get up and open the door. As soon as the door was open, Heero fixed his glare on the other man. Duo was wearing his workout clothes but he wasn't sweaty, so he hadn't gone to the gym yet. "Why are you here? I told you I'm sick. I'm not going to the gym with you, if that's what you came for," he bit. "Relax!" Duo chuckled at him, completely unintimidated by Heero's glare or his tone. "I thought I'd come take care of you and keep you company." Heero blinked at that. "But it's chest-and-back day." The tall man smiled and sidestepped his way into the apartment. "I think I can skip once, don't you agree?" He raised both his arms and flexed, showing off his impressive, sculpted shoulders. Soon, he spotted the pizza box on the couch and threw a knowing look at Heero over his shoulder. "Don't you even dare say anything." "I won't. Mind if I grab a piece?" Heero was stunned once more. Duo allowed himself cheat meals once in a while, but never pizza, because that was one of the worst and his number one weakness. "... Sure. If you dare." "I already had a quinoa salad with grilled salmon, so I'm full. I think I can handle one slice and keep it at that." He bent over and grabbed a slice, groaning in appreciation at the stringy cheese. He moaned at his first bite and his expression was one of bliss, even though the pizza was lukewarm at best. "So good," he mumbled around a mouthful. "Do you want something to drink with that?" "A beer?" "I don't have beer." Heero usually kept beer in the fridge for Duo, but he ran out last week and he hadn't felt like doing groceries that weekend. "I have wine." Duo plopped down on the couch and studied the frozen TV screen. "That'll get the job done too." With his anger deflated, Heero poured them both a glass of red wine and he sat himself down on the far end of the couch. He was about to press play when Duo stopped him. "Are you really sick, or are you sick about bipod-man?" "Elton," Heero informed. "I know his name," Duo said with a roll of his eyes. "So which one is it?" Heero shrugged miserably. He didn't want to say anything, but that in itself was an answer to Duo's question. "I thought so. Is there anything I can do?" Heero shook his head and refused to make eye contact. "Wanna just watch TV and get drunk together?" He had planned on watching TV and getting drunk alone, but that didn't feel like a good plan anymore - he didn't want Duo to leave. So, he nodded. "Cool." Duo toed off his shoes and made himself comfortable on the couch. "You should finish that pizza before it gets cold." "I'm full." He couldn't be, not really; he hadn't even eaten one complete slice, but he felt full anyway, like eating more would make him nauseous. Maybe because, just like Duo, he wasn't really used to the fatty stuff anymore. "Mind if I grab another piece?" Heero raised his eyebrow at him. "C'mon, don't give me any grief." "No judgment. Go right ahead." Duo ate two more slices of pizza while they finished watching the talk show Heero had on. After that, he switched the channel to a stand-up comedy performance by a famous comedian; in the meantime, they made their way through the first, and then the second, bottle of wine. Duo was pretty much laughing throughout and it elevated Heero's mood. He was able to stop thinking about all the things he didn't want to think about anymore, and he chuckled along. The comedian went from one mundane topic to another, and for each, he had a funny anecdote that had the crowd roaring with laughter, and Duo as well. "I love going shopping with my mom," the comedian started with a cheeky grin and he already had people giggling. "No, no, I'm serious! She has such a naughty sense of humor. Last time, we walked into the store and I told her she could have whatever she wanted and the lady behind the counter went all doe-eyed thinking that I'm just the best son ever. My mom picked a coat and went into the dressing room and she called me over." He puts on a silly voice and calls: "Come over, dear, come have a look." The crowd laughed at his impression. "And I got into the dressing room with her and she held her hand up and I gave her a high-five. Then she stepped out of the dressing room, covering her face with her hand as if I had slapped her and mumbled pathetically: 'I won't be taking the jacket...'" Duo cackled at the joke, as did the crowd. "It's all fun and games, until I read the tabloids the next day." Duo and Heero both laughed. The comedian continued, talking about how women like to gossip and gave ridiculous examples, until he shared a story about himself as a teenager and how he told a friend about a strange dream he had about crab. As the story was passed from one person to the next, it got progressively worse and it eventually sprouted a rumor that he was gay. The way it evolved from a silly dream about a crab, to him being mistaken for a closeted homo at school was hilarious. From that point, he delved further into the topic of homosexuality, and that was when Heero started to become uncomfortable; he didn't know where the joke would end up and he didn't like how the comedian kept stressing that he absolutely wasn't gay. The comedian talked about his gay roommate in college, and he did impersonations of an over-the-top stereotypical character that had Heero cringing, but Duo never stopped laughing. "So, one night, I wake up because I feel something under the sheets and something is touching me. It scared the shit out of me, so I kicked the blanket away from me to find my roommate in bed with me..." he paused for effect, "Sucking my cock!" A roar of shocked laughter passed through the crowd and Duo's face had gone red from laughing. "I was like: 'What the fuck dude!'" And then he imitated his roommate trying to apologize and explain himself, supposedly with a mouthful of dick. "And I told him: 'You finish up down there and then get the fuck out!'" Duo slapped his thigh and doubled over in laughter. "Oh, man... This guy is hilarious!" He exclaimed. Heero chuckled awkwardly. He was drunk, but not drunk enough to find it funny. The comedian's offensive impersonations of his gay roommate had turned him off from the comedy. He wondered if Duo saw him that way, and he couldn't stop himself from imagining Duo mocking him the way the comedian mocked his former roommate: letting his hands dangle limply off his wrist, putting on duck-lips and walking across the stage with shuffled little footsteps while swaying his hips exaggeratedly, and popping his butt out when he stood still. "Have you ever done that?" Duo asked out of the blue. The question caught Heero off-guard and he wasn't sure what the other was referring to. "Sorry, what?" "Have you ever done anything with a straight friend?" A blush heated up his cheeks. "My only other straight friend is WuFei," he said, as if that answered everything - in a way, it did. Duo scrunched up his face, understanding that obviously, nothing would've ever happened between Heero and WuFei; the Chinese man was far too straight-laced for that sort of thing. Then he smirked and finished his glass of wine before he spoke: "You kinda did do something with a straight friend." Heero frowned at him. The American gestured between the two of them. "We kissed." Technically, that was true, but Heero didn't think that it counted. It was for show, for starters, and it barely qualified as a kiss seeing how short it lasted. He could hardly remember it happening. He told Duo as much. "I guess that's true," Duo said, agreeing that the kiss didn't count. "If I were to really lay one on ya, you would definitely remember it." He winked at him. The heat on Heero's face spread down to his chest and belly. "Yeah?" "Ohhh, yeah," Duo drawled. He leaned forward and emptied the bottle of red wine in his glass. In two gulps the liquid was gone and he sat back with a satisfied sigh. Absentmindedly, he remarked: "I'm an excellent kisser." "Me too," Heero shot back, acting on instinct - alcohol-fueled instinct. He couldn't stop staring at his friend, alternating his gaze between the man's eyes and his lips. He wanted to kiss him again, but properly, so he could preserve and treasure the memory. Duo chuckled, seemingly completely unaware of the change in the atmosphere. "I bet you are," he said lightly. "I can show you." That was the wine talking. Duo laughed heartedly, mistaking the offer for a joke. He wasn't even looking at Heero; he was looking at the television, mostly absorbed into the comedian's next anecdotes after the commercials had wrapped. "Better not. You're totally one of those gay guys that could turn a straight dude." He flashed Heero a grin, looking at him only briefly with mirthful eyes. "Can't risk it." Oh, how Heero wished he could turn a straight man gay with a single kiss. If that were the case, he would have planted one on Duo's lips months ago. Heck, he would have even forced himself on WuFei in college. Without pausing to consider his actions - the way he should have - Heero shifted up on his knees and crawled across the couch towards where Duo sat at the other end. Finally, Duo peeled his gaze away from the television and faced the Japanese man with a frown, a crooked smile and clouded eyes. For the first time his stare darted down to Heero's parted lips and the gaze lingered before he looked up into Heero's eyes again. He let out an uncertain chuckle at their proximity. "What are ya doing?" Heero didn't say anything. He settled back on his calves and leaned forward to close the remaining distance between them. He angled his head to make their faces fit together and he touched his lips to Duo's. The smell and taste of wine was heavy between them and intoxicated him further. Duo's lips were unresponsive, but soft and he sensually moved his own lips against them. "Wha-?" Duo opening his mouth to speak presented an opportunity that Heero abused. He let his tongue slip into the other man's mouth to deepen the kiss and pour months of longing into it. He placed his hand on the back of Duo's neck and pressed his nose into Duo's cheek as the kiss intensified. Duo started to respond, moving his lips and fighting Heero's tongue with his, until he finally took control over the kiss and returned the favor to explore Heero's mouth. The shorter man moaned into the kiss. He wished Duo would lay his big hands on him, but the man kept them in his lap. With his free hand Heero caressed Duo's broad chest, loving the feel of the hard muscle under the soft cotton of his black shirt. They parted for breath, both panting. Heero opened his eyes to stare into Duo's. His heart swelled with hope. He leaned in to resume their kiss, but that was when Duo reeled his head back and a mischievous grin appeared on his kissable lips. "You are a good kisser," the man said with comedic inflection. Heero couldn't speak. He didn't want to speak and he didn't want Duo to speak either. He wanted to keep kissing him, but when he dipped his head down again, Duo turned his face away with a chuckle. Finally, Duo brought his hands up. but only to push Heero back. "Alright, cowboy, that's enough." Duo patted his shoulder amicably, oblivious to Heero's expression of longing. "Just give it up. I passed the test. You can't turn me gay after all." He beamed a smile at him. Heero crawled back to his corner of the couch, feeling shameful and mortified. Subconsciously he touched his fingers to his lips. He definitely wouldn't forget about their kiss that time around. "Fuck, we are drunk," Duo declared with a laugh. "Actually, I might be on a pizza-high. Too many carbs and my body is converting them all into sugar." Duo continued to watch and be amused by the comedian on TV, but Heero couldn't focus on the jokes. All he could think about was the kiss. He didn't know what had gotten into him; he never thought he would be so bold. He couldn't decide if he regretted it or not, but he predicted it would cause him nothing but headache and heartache, ultimately. Duo kissed him back, but he also ended the kiss and, with the way he was acting in the aftermath, it didn't seem to affect him in the slightest. It was just another joke to Duo. Heero hugged his knees to his chest and shrank into himself. He forced himself to look to the television when all he wanted to look at was Duo and search his face for clues, in the vain hope that maybe the kiss had meant something to him as well. Twenty minutes later the comedian said his goodbye and left the stage while receiving a standing ovation. Duo stretched his legs out and raised his arms high, popping his joints. He yawned without bothering to cover his mouth. "It's late..." he said. It was almost midnight, so Heero supposed Duo was right, although he himself had always been a bit of a night owl and would usually not go to bed before midnight anyway. "Do you mind if I crash on your couch?" Heero blinked at him. "Why?" "I've had about a bottle worth of wine," Duo replied with a giggle, "I can't drive." "You can get a cab, or an Uber." "Please? It's such a hassle. I could fall asleep right here, right now." "I mean, sure, I guess. If you don't mind sleeping on a couch." Should he offer to share his queen bed with him? Was that what Duo was angling for? "Not at all. It's a pretty comfy couch." Heero preferred for Duo to just go home and leave him alone with his thoughts, but he couldn't kick his friend out. "Okay. I'll get you a blanket and a pillow." "Thanks. Is the bathroom clear for me to take a leak?" "Yeah." They both got up. Duo went to the bathroom and Heero fetched an extra pillow from his bed and a blanket from the closet and he placed them both on the couch. Duo walked back into the living room. "Thanks, man." He plopped down on the couch and wrapped himself in the blanket, staring up at Heero with a contented grin. "No problem." "What time are you getting up?" "Uhm..." He paused in thought as he tried to remember his schedule of appointments for the next day. "Eight. I don't have to be in Halton until nine thirty." "Perfect." Duo set the alarm on his phone in accordance. "I'll be out of your way first thing, I promise." He settled back down and shifted around to find a comfortable position. He nuzzled his nose into the pillow and remarked: "Smells like you." "I'm sorry. I should have put a clean pillowcase on it." He moved to do as much but Duo's words stopped him. "Nah, don't bother. Smells nice." He sighed pleasantly and closed his eyes. "G'night, Heero." "... Goodnight." Heero didn't sleep at all that night. He couldn't shake the thought that Duo was in his living room, nor could he stop thinking about the kiss. Even though he should know better - and he did - he couldn't help but fantasize that Duo was lying on his couch, staring up at the ceiling - just like Heero - thinking about him; thinking about their kiss as well. It was actually nothing but cynical that Heero wanted to believe that Duo wouldn't have let him kiss him - never mind have kissed him back - if he wasn't open to exploring a different side of his sexuality. Duo had always been cool with Heero's homosexuality and had never shied away from touches or sexual innuendo, no matter how uncomfortable it made other straight men. It was just a testimony to his level of comfort and confidence with his own sexuality and masculinity, and Heero had to get that through to his thick skull. At around three AM he had to use the bathroom, so he snuck out of his room as quietly as he could. He paused in the hallway and listened. Duo was snoring - he was fast asleep, not worrying about anything, not pining over anyone, least of all Heero. In the morning he was out of bed half an hour before his alarm went off. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had been restless all night. He took a shower - Duo slept through everything - and fretted over what he was going to wear. Every little detail mattered to Heero after that kiss, in spite of the fact that nothing had changed for Duo. As if wearing the right pair of jeans with a flattering sweater would be the thing to seal the deal and convince Duo to give kissing him another chance. He was being pathetic and he was well aware of it, yet powerless to stop himself from acting on childlike delusions. He exited his bedroom again at precisely eight o'clock, at the exact same moment that Duo's alarm went off. Duo was startled awake by the shrill beeps produced by his phone and he flung his arm to the side reactively, but rather than finding his nightstand, he encountered nothing but empty air and nearly rolled off the couch. He pushed himself up on his elbows and cracked his eyes open to study his surroundings with a confused frown. "Good morning," Heero greeted, his tone flat. "Nnnn..." Duo dropped back down and scrubbed his face with his hands. In the meantime, his alarm was still going off and he appeared in no rush to silence it. "Can you turn that noise off?" The Japanese man asked irritably. "Sorry... yeah," he croaked and he blindly searched the floor for his phone. Finally, the beeping stopped. Heero went into the kitchen and flicked on the coffee machine. He stood by and waited for the light to stop blinking, indicating that the water was at the right temperature. He didn't think he could stomach a solid breakfast, although he wasn't sure if it were the effects of last night's drinking, or the memory of last night's kiss, that nauseated him. "I'm hungover," Duo declared with a gruff voice. He had yet to get up from the couch. "You're not used to drinking." "That is... accurate." With a groan he sat up. His clothes were disheveled, the blanket was bundled around his legs and his hair was a mess. "I'm regretting that pizza right about now." He excused himself to go to the bathroom and was in there for a long time. Heero thoughtfully sipped his coffee and when he heard the toilet flush he prepared a cup for Duo as well. The machine had just finished pouring the black brew when Duo returned to the living room. His face didn't look any better but he had at least fixed his hair. "You might not wanna go in there for a bit," he said with a crooked, sheepish grin - too wrecked to tilt both corners of his mouth up in a smile. "Sorry." "It's fine. Are you okay?" Heero held out the cup of coffee for him and Duo's eyes immediately lit up and he accepted the coffee with gratitude. "I'll live. Should have stuck to one slice. My stomach isn't used to that fatty crap anymore." Heero nodded in understanding. Duo stood across from him and mimicked his pose: leaning the small of his back against the counter and crossing his chest with one arm, holding onto the elbow of the other. He held the cup close to his lips and paused between each sip to appreciate the taste and the heat on his tongue. "Are you still thinking about Elton?" Duo wondered. The other blinked. He could, in all honesty, say that he hadn't thought about his ex since last night, too preoccupied with new concerns. "No." Duo smiled, not understanding the reason why. "That's good. Did I help?" "Hmhm." Heero hid his grimace behind his coffee mug. "Cool. I'm glad." He looked around the kitchen and asked impishly: "Do you have something to eat?" "There's fruit and yoghurt." "Mind if I get some?" Duo was already opening the fridge. "Not at all..." He watched with empty eyes as Duo poured unsweetened yoghurt into a bowl and topped it off with a handful of fresh fruits. He ate his breakfast with big spoonfuls. "Are you heading straight to the store?" "Yeah." Duo looked down at himself; he was still in his gym clothes. "Ibrahim will be over around noon, so I can go home during lunch hour and change and stuff. I think my dad is stopping by at the end of the afternoon too." "Hm." "He comes over way too often," Duo griped lightheartedly. "Retirement doesn't sit well with him. He's driving my mom crazy." Heero had only met Duo's father once, briefly, but it had been readily apparent where Duo's energetic and loud personality stemmed from. "Are you coming to the gym with me tonight? I'm not gonna let you skip chest-and-back day," he said with a grin. There was no point in trying to get out of it. Just like Duo said, he wasn't going to let him skip on his workouts. More importantly, Heero knew he had to push through the awkwardness and get back into their regular routine; the sooner, the better. He had never let his attraction to the man stand in the way of their friendship, and he shouldn't start now. He shouldn't let himself be hung-up on a drunken kiss and allow it to ruin the best friendship he ever had. "Yeah, okay." "Don't sound too enthusiastic," he teased. "I hate chest-and-back day." "I thought you hated arm day?" "I hate arm day too." Duo let out a hearty laugh at Heero's dry tone. "It hurts," he explained. His legs and core could take quite a beating, but the weighted chest, back and arm exercises quickly added up to sore and burning muscles. "It's worth it though." Duo reached out and squeezed Heero's upper arm, feeling the modest bicep under his shirt. Heero turned his head away, hoping to hide his blush. Duo touched him all the time, but it was different now, post-kiss, even though he didn't want it to be and - he imagined - neither did Duo. "Should I come pick you up or do ya wanna meet at the gym?" "We can just meet at the gym." "Eight?" "That works." "Great." Duo finished his breakfast and rinsed the bowl in the sink. Then he touched his hand to Heero's shoulder and leaned in a little closer than what the Japanese man was comfortable with, post-kiss. "You're okay, right?" "I'm fine." "And we're okay?" He gestured between them. "I don't want that stupid kiss to cause any weirdness between us. We were both just drunk," he said with a carefree smile. Heero's heart ached at having the kiss dismissed as stupid, but he forced on a smile to mirror Duo's and agreed: "Yeah, no, it was just for laughs." Duo chuckled. "It was pretty funny." He looked down and checked the time on his digital sports watch. "Gotta fly." He squeezed the shoulder once before letting go and headed for the door. With a wave he said: "See ya later, kissy-boy." Heero sucked in a breath and held it until Duo had closed the door behind him. His stiff wave in return was too late for Duo to have seen it. He clenched his jaw and his fists at his sides. None of this was funny to him, but he knew he had to suffer the jokes if he wanted to convince Duo that he was as "cool" with, and unaffected by, what had happened as the American was. "Stupid fucking straight guys," he muttered to himself. He finished getting ready for work and grabbed his laptop on the way out. The entire day, he was dreading the evening workout with Duo, but he knew that if he cancelled again, the man would just show up on his doorstep again and probably drag him to the gym, rather than allow him to wallow the way he mercifully had yesterday. Duo believed in the healing powers of physical activity; not limited to positive effects on the body, but that it had positive effects on the mind as well. Duo credited his workout regimen to curing the depression he suffered during his early twenties when he was overweight. The gym had helped him through many break-ups since then as well. He had talked about it candidly in his videos. Heero was still very much a fan of curling up on the couch with a snuggly blanket and tormenting himself with tragic romantic movies, until he would eventually become numb to his own personal pain and he'd only weep over the loss of Romeo, Jack, Satine and Tristan. Probably not the healthiest way of dealing with bad break-ups, but it worked. Or did it? At the end of the day, he still couldn't stomach much food. He had half a fruit salad for lunch and dinner, and forced himself to eat most of a slice of burned toast that he used to scoop up some peanut butter, straight from the jar. He changed into loose joggers and an oversized sweater that he usually slept in - big enough on him to practically count as a dress. His workouts were more comfortable if he wore tighter clothes - loose clothes moved around his body and distracted him - but he wanted to hide himself and if he couldn't hide in his apartment, than he would hide in his clothes. He arrived at the gym right on time. He hadn't gotten a membership yet; he was working out on Duo's "buddy-pass". Premium members could bring a friend to the gym, free of charge, for up to four times a week. Heero was thankful that he didn't have to spend any money, since it was quite an expensive gym. He earned enough money, but he preferred to spend his cash on the newest laptops and a new car every three years. Duo was already there, lying on one of the red benches, doing press ups with dumbbells as part of his warm up. The long-haired man looked up when he noticed movement in the corner of his eye and that easy, natural smile spread across his lips when he recognized Heero. He got up and put away the weight. He eyed him up and down. "What are you wearing?" "My other stuff was in the laundry," Heero lied. "Okay. Well, let's get to work. See if we can find some pecs under there." He reached out and playfully tweaked Heero's nipples through the material of his shirt. Heero jumped back with a yelp, causing Duo to laugh and others to stare. "C'mon, kissy-boy, let's get started." Heero's hopes that the nickname had been a one-time-thing flew out the window. After putting his gym bag in a locker and a quick warm-up they did inclined cable flies, dumbbell pull-overs, the machine chest press, dumbbell chest presses and chest dips - which Heero could barely manage and he was very much aware of Duo's hands on his waist, supporting some of his weight when his muscles started to tremble. Duo finished the session with barbell bench presses. Heero spotted him for the first few sets, but as he added more plates to the bar, the weight became too much for Heero to be of any help if Duo couldn't lift it on his own strength, so Duo asked the bigger, broader guy that Heero had seen him talking to once before to spot him for his last sets. Heero jumped up on a nearby treadmill and forced himself to run. All of his limbs were shaky and he had gotten lightheaded several times that evening - two or three times, his vision even went black and he knew he had been close to passing out; he remembered that feeling from when he was underweight. But he didn't want to sit down like a sack of potatoes while everyone around him was still working out. With a mighty grunt Duo pushed the heavy barbell up one more time and his spotter patted his chest and complimented him on a great work-out, even though the guy himself looked like he was able to bench much more than Duo. "Thanks man." The American sounded out of breath. He sat up on the bench. His face was red and his bangs were drenched with sweat. He raised the hem of his shirt to wipe his face and Heero looked away when their eyes met. "You ready to hit the showers?" "Yes. Please," Heero groaned. He was exhausted. He dialed down the speed of the treadmill until it came to a stop and he stepped off. Duo smirked and led the way to the locker rooms. As Heero walked he felt weird, like his feet weren't even touching the ground and he was floating across the space. He held his wristband up to the electronic lock and retrieved his clothes and towel. Duo was once again held up by a guy starting up conversation with him. Heero walked barefoot on the wet tiles and picked his favorite stall in the back. Unfortunately his neighbor left three minutes later and he was replaced by Duo. "Are you feeling okay?" Duo asked while he turned on the water. "You looked a little weak out there." Even though Heero logically knew his friend was asking out of concern, the question registered as an insult and it irked him. "I just really hate fucking chest-and-back day," he snapped. "Sorry we can't all bench-press our body weight." "... Okay..." Duo clearly didn't know how to respond to Heero's snappy attitude. He focused on the task of cleaning himself, squirting the last of his generic shampoo into the palm of his hand and massaging it into his hair. Heero rushed through his shower. His legs were so tired, he could barely remain standing, and they hadn't even done leg exercises that evening. He knew he had eaten too little, and he had next to nothing the day before and during the weekend as well, since running into Ellie. He did a half-assed job at drying himself off and his clothes stuck to his skin when he walked out of the stall and back to his locker. He sat down heavily on the bench with a sigh. All around him the men were chatting, but their voices blended together and their words became incoherent. Heero stared at the open door of his locker. He had to get his shoes, but they were in his gym bag which meant he'd have to get up and he didn't want to. He took a moment to rest, knowing Duo wouldn't be done for a few more minutes anyway. He returned far too soon. Heero didn't feel like he had had enough time to gather his strength. The man took a seat next to him, still bare chested. He had his long hair pulled over his shoulder and was rubbing it dry with his towel. "You okay?" He asked again. Heero wished he would stop asking; it only made him feel weaker. "I'm fine," he grunted and pushed himself up from the bench to get his shoes, but as soon as he stood upright, he felt lightheaded and the room started to spin. He nearly fell forward but he managed to catch himself, grabbing at the open door of his locker. He blinked but when he opened his eyes the world was still black. He felt like all the blood was draining from his face and even from his brain. "... Oh..." "Heero?" Duo shot up. "I'm... fine..." His vision returned to him and to prove his strength, he let go of the door, but he stood on unsteady feat and shaky knees. His temples and armpits were sweaty. His stomach felt funny, like it had completely shriveled up and it was pulling in his other organs like a black hole. "You're not fine. Sit down." "... I have to get my shoes..." "Sit down before you pass out," Duo ordered and he wasn't going to wait any longer for Heero to listen to him. He put one hand on the small of his back and the other on his shoulder, and guided him back down onto the bench and sat down next him. His concerned gaze studied Heero's face, making the Japanese man very uncomfortable. "You're paper white," he observed in dismay. "Did you eat?" "I did." "Not enough," Duo surmised. He reached for his own gym bag and produced a granola bar from a side pocket. "Here, eat this." Heero accepted it with weak, trembling fingers and he even had trouble ripping the plastic wrapping open but thankfully he managed. He would have been even more mortified if Duo had to open it for him. He kept his hands in his lap. He didn't want to eat it; he hated granola bars. "Eat it," Duo urged, leaving no room for argument. "And we're going to a diner after this." "Is he alright?" Some other guy asked. Heero's stomach lurched with embarrassment as he realized people around them were paying attention to him. He cast his gaze down to the floor and took a small bite from the granola bar. "He'll be okay," Duo said. He reached up a hand and rubbed Heero's back, encouraging him to keep eating. "I'll make sure of it." Duo's touch was nice and Heero selfishly and stupidly wished the man would have laid his hands on him last night, during their kiss; it would have felt so good. When he had eaten half of the granola bar and finished an entire bottle of water, Duo was satisfied. They both finished getting dressed and then Duo took him to a diner across the street that had a menu catering to the people who went to the gym. The tall man picked a booth for them by the window and he ordered them both coffee and scrambled eggs with vegetables, and a glass of chocolate milk for Heero. "Can you bring the chocolate milk right away?" He asked. "Sure thing." The waitress finished jotting down their order and returned no more than a minute later with the sweet drink and a curly straw. Duo pushed the glass closer to Heero and angled the straw towards him with a smile. "Sip this. It'll be good for you." Heero knew better than to argue with him. He dipped his head down, wrapped his lips around the end of the straw and sucked the chocolate milk into his mouth, all the while being very aware of Duo looking at him. "You should have told me," the other berated him, but he kept his tone light. "I wouldn't have pushed you the way I did. You can't work out hardcore like that if you don't feed your body, Heero." He released the straw and straightened up. He was humiliated. He couldn't believe he had nearly fainted, like some damsel in distress, in front of Duo and all those other guys. The waitress came with their coffee and told them their meals would be ready in about five minutes, then she walked away again. Heero reached for the coffee but Duo pushed the cup and saucer out of his reach. "Chocolate first." Heero glared at him but he imagined he couldn't have looked very intimidating with his pale, sweaty face and clouded eyes. He did as instructed and continued drinking the chocolate milk. It was already starting to have effect; he was feeling better. "You scared me," Duo admitted. "I'm sorry." "What if you had fallen and hit your head?" Heero shrugged. It wasn't like that hadn't happened in the past. It wasn't that big of a deal to him. He used to be quite good at hiding his black-outs from other people. "Jesus..." Duo sighed and stared into his coffee. "Is this the point where I should get really worried?" Heero shook his head. He had no intentions of getting back to his old habits of undereating. It had been an accident. He hadn't been conscious of the toll the workout would take on his body after not eating right for a couple of days. He hadn't skipped meals on purpose, nor did he mean to push himself too far, the way he had. They were served their scrambled eggs with pieces of chopped-up vegetables. Heero ate slowly and he could feel Duo watching him like a hawk, even though he refused to look up to meet his gaze. "I'm really sorry about Elton," the other said halfway through the meal. "I had no idea that it was still so hard on you." "Me neither." Heero wondered if it was really Elton he was upset about, or if it was mostly the empty, fake kiss that Duo had given him in the store that started it all. "He's a dick, you know that, right?" Heero smiled tiredly. "I guess." "He is," Duo asserted. "Fuckin' cheating scumbag," he muttered. The anger in his voice was real and gritty. "Maybe it's just different for gay guys." "It shouldn't be," Duo said with a shake of his head. "Why would it be?" He countered, pinching his brows together. "You love just the same, right?" "I do." "You deserve to receive the kind of love that you put out there," Duo concluded. "If some shithead wants to fuck around, he should find some other ass-hat who can't keep his dick in his pants. You don't have to settle for that bullshit," he said, pointing his fork at him. Heero smiled at Duo's combative demeanor. He was a good friend and Heero knew he was lucky to have him. The "stupid kiss" shouldn't get between them. "Thanks." "... You're welcome." He glanced down at Heero's plate and told him gruffly: "Keep eating." Heero snorted at his friend mothering him but he continued to eat anyway. "Isn't it interesting how differently people react to stuff?" Duo mused, while digging into the last of his scrambled eggs. Heero quirked one eyebrow in question. "Like, when I used to get upset, I'd eat more. But when you get upset, you eat less." Heero nodded. "It's interesting..." he repeated and he looked off to the side in thought. "Maybe I should do a 'Food for Thought' ep on that. Would you be in it?" The Japanese man blinked and stammered: "What-... Uh-... How? Why?" "We could just talk about our experiences. Me with binge-eating and you with skipping meals. I think a lot of people can identify." "I- I-... I don't know." He had gotten used to doing exercises on camera, but the thought of having to speak - and speak about something so personal - gave him instant anxiety. "It's cool. I get that it's hard for you. Whatever you'd wanna say and be comfortable with sharing would be great. Will you at least think about it?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, okay. I'll think about it." "Cool, thanks." Duo flashed a smile. "Let me know. Whatever, whenever." Heero nodded. He couldn't finish the entire plate, but eventually Duo was satisfied that he had eaten enough and he walked him to his car. He offered to drive him home, but Heero told him to stop being overprotective; he was feeling better, after all. Duo let him go but only after he promised to text him as soon as he was home safe. At his apartment, he texted Duo and smiled when he instantly received a smiley-face in return and then he crashed on his bed. Everything returned to normal, including his appetite. He was never a big eater, but he ate enough - Duo made sure of it too, with impromptu visits to cook him dinner. The man also kept a close eye on him during their workouts and made sure he didn't push his trainee too hard. The "Food for Thought" episode that week was about the importance of feeding the body and the dangers of starving oneself in an effort to lose weight, especially in combination with a lot of physical exertion. Duo warned his viewers not to follow dangerous diets, like the fasting-fad, and - without getting into specifics or naming names - he talked about "his friend" nearly passing out. Editing the video was a strange experience for Heero. Duo's eyes were so big and full of concern when he told the story. It was obvious how much Duo cared about him and it was a little shocking to have it captured on video like that, but heartwarming at the same time. With how Duo was caring for him, Heero's crush was starting to become less innocent every day. He was falling in love with his best friend. It was both the best and the scariest feeling ever. He hadn't been in love in a very long time and he had forgotten how powerful it was: how great it could make him feel one moment, and how it could totally wreck him the next. He had to trust that the feelings would eventually go away if they were unrequited long enough. He just had to wait it out. In the meantime, he enjoyed Duo's company all the same, and reveled in the casual touches that he received and how handsome Duo looked - especially when he smiled - and how his deep voice made Heero's spine tingle. He agreed to do the "Food for Thought" video with the Youtuber, mostly because he felt like he owed him as much. During the days leading up to the filming, he was nauseous and restless with anxiety and had to remind himself to keep eating, because whenever he got in his head like that, he tended to forget. When the day arrived, he went over to Duo's place and had a home cooked dinner first. His friend talked about anything and everything, except for the video they were about to film, clearly in an attempt to distract him to put him at ease and Heero appreciated it. Duo had set up the equipment in his bedroom. Heero had never been in the man's bedroom before and he took it all in with curious eyes. The décor was simple; no care had gone into it. The bed was at the center and there was only one nightstand, to the right of the bed. The pillowcases didn't match the sheets. There was a closet up against the opposite wall and a corner of the room was occupied with a bright red yoga mat and a few pairs of dumbbells. Laundry was tossed into another corner. The only thing on the wall was a whiteboard detailing Duo's workout and filming schedule. It was clearly the bedroom of a single, straight man. Heero was directed to take a seat on the edge of the bed and he found himself facing the camera, mounted at eye-level on a tripod. On either side of the camera stood two tall filming lights, pointed at him. Duo sat down next to him and talked through his ideas for the video with him. At Duo's suggestion, Heero had previously written down some keywords of the things he wanted to say, to help organize his thoughts. Duo reminded him that none of it needed to be perfect and to just take a moment to gather his thoughts if he needed it, since his "stellar editor" could edit out whatever he wanted. The Youtuber got up to switch on the camera and sat down next to Heero again, but a little closer so they would both be in frame, causing their shoulders to touch. Heero watched the image of them on the little screen that had been flipped to face them. "You ready?" Duo verified. Heero nodded. Duo went through his standard intro: greeting his viewers, responding to the positive feedback on the previous video and thanking them for watching. Once he was formally introduced, Heero raised his hand in an awkward wave and he was already thinking to himself that he should cut that out during the editing process. First, Duo talked about his past unhealthy relationship with food; something he had already touched on in older videos as well. When it was his turn, Heero told his story in a rehearsed manner. His voice was flat and robotic, but he was proud of himself for getting through it. He talked about how going through stressful and upsetting situations could make food lose all taste to him, so he wouldn't get triggered to eat because it wasn't enjoyable, and since he was so in his head all the time, worrying about every little thing, he'd simply forget to eat too. He never strived to become as thin as he had been, but he hadn't been able to stop the downward spiral. He also delved into the relationship between social situations and eating: how his shyness around people would make him so nervous that he couldn't eat, too self-conscious of people judging him for eating too much. It started with being unable to eat at parties and then at school, but eventually he couldn't even eat with his parents at dinner anymore, and he'd lie about already having eaten at a friend's house. As the problems became more pronounced, he embraced the power he had over his own body; that he could deny it food. Growing up powerless, with overbearing parents and meddling classmates who outed him against his will, his food intake and his body were the only things he felt he had any control over and he exercised that control vigorously. His shyness made him an easy victim. He was bullied by family, neighbors and kids at school. They'd call him a "whimp" and a "pussy", and one of the boys called him "fat-ass", because the bully knew exactly how to get under his skin. When he was diagnosed with an eating disorder, Heero had felt proud, because he had proved the bully wrong: he might be a whimp and a pussy, but he wasn't fat. That was a small victory that he latched onto. It took many years of therapy to acknowledge how twisted his thinking had become. Duo had heard bits and pieces of the story before, but still he was listening intently, with an understanding and encouraging expression. Rather than talk to the camera, Heero faced Duo instead and he found it easier to talk that way, without imaging all the people that would see this once it would be uploaded on Duo's channel. He felt good when Duo offered him a smile. To put a positive spin on the topic, they ended the video by talking about how they had changed their unhealthy eating habits, but they were honest about the fact that they both still struggled with it at times and Duo reminded his viewers that there was never a need to be ashamed. If anyone was dealing with concerns about their eating and maybe even worried about having an eating disorder, he urged them to surround themselves with good people and reach out for help. Duo concluded the video by stating that while his channel was about becoming physically fit and ripped, it all started with being healthy - physically and mentally - and everything else was just "icing on the cake". Relief washed over Heero when Duo shut off the camera. "That was great," Duo said, beaming with pride. "You did great." Heero felt giddy all of a sudden and smiled up at him. "Yeah? I felt so awkward." "No man, don't worry about it. You're a natural." He sat back down and patted Heero's thigh, making butterflies flutter in the Japanese man's stomach. "You should see my first video. I was horrible on camera the first time." Heero snorted. "You were fine! It was cute." Duo smirked at him. "You've seen it?" A red hue took over his golden complexion. "Yeah, well, you know, for research. As your editor, I-... needed to get a feel for the channel." "Right." Duo knew he was given a bullshit explanation, but he didn't prod or tease further, he just smiled knowingly. "Do you want some wine?" Heero was jittery and some alcohol would definitely help. "Yes, please." "C'mon." Duo got up and gestured for Heero to follow him. They went back into the living room and Heero was ordered to take a seat on the couch while Duo retrieved a bottle of wine. When the American walked out of the kitchen carrying a bottle and only a single glass, Heero objected: "Oh no, you are not going to make me drink alone. I can do that pathetic shit at home, thankyouverymuch." Duo chuckled at his unusually high energy. He went back to get a second glass and then sat down next to Heero - closer than was necessary on the big couch. He poured them both wine and then clanged their glasses together in a wordless toast. They both took a big gulp and then laughed. "How are you feeling about all this?" Heero looked into his wine thoughtfully, swirling the glass in his hand. "Pretty good, surprisingly." "Feels kinda good, right? Unloading on camera? It's a bit like keeping a diary. When you put it 'out there', it's no longer as bad in here." Duo tapped his finger against his temple, indicating his mind. Heero nodded in agreement. "Take however long you need to edit it, and you can do whatever you want." "Thanks, I appreciate that." Heero was certain he'd come to regret agreeing with filming the video at a few separate points during the editing process, but he shouldn't let that stop him and prevent Duo from uploading it. Given some time, it should be alright. They talked more and drank more. Duo opened a second bottle of wine. Heero was a lightweight and he was already drunk, but he couldn't read Duo; his hand was still steady as he poured him the first glass from the second bottle. Like Heero, he was giggly, but Duo was always giggly. The man's face was a little redder than usual though. It was starting to get late, but Heero didn't want to go home. He enjoyed his soft-spoken conversation with Duo - their voices almost reduced to whispers - and he loved how closely he was allowed to lean, close enough to feel the warmth radiate from Duo's bigger body. Heero sat sideways on the couch, facing Duo, with his knees drawn up to his chest. He made less and less eye contact with his friend because every time he did, his mind went blank and he could only stammer; it was embarrassing although it didn't seem like Duo even noticed. Duo was the opposite; he was staring. His warm gaze never left Heero's face. Even without looking, Heero could feel it burning. The conversation lulled. Heero stared at the rips in his jeans, right over the knee, and Duo stared at Heero. "Remember last time we got drunk like this?" Duo spoke. When Heero finally looked at him he spotted the lopsided smirk. His heart skipped a beat and his stomach dropped. Inwardly, he wondered why Duo would bring it up; he wondered what he was getting at. Other than calling him "Kissy-boy" consistently over the past few weeks, Duo had never talked about that evening. "You kissed me," Duo reminded him, as if Heero would ever forget. "Hmhm." "... I kissed you back." His words were breathless. Heero blinked at him, still unable to read him. His smile was gone but he was still shamelessly staring. "You did." His lips spread into a goofy grin again. "That was wild, huh?" "Pretty wild," Heero agreed mildly, still not sure what to make of the exchange. Duo chuckled; a deep, pleasant sound. He stared for a moment longer, then he took Heero's wine glass from him and set both glasses on the coffee table. Heero's heart started to race and his breath hitched in his throat when Duo scooted closer. "You were pretty good," Duo whispered, bringing his lips closer and closer to Heero's. "Thanks," he replied with strained voice. "I'm drunk and horny," the American disclosed. "Okay," he retorted dumbly. Whenever Duo spoke, he could feel his warm breath spread across his face. He would have gladly kissed him and the temptation was killing him, but memories of the previous time stopped him. His heart still clenched remembering how Duo had pushed him away and how he had brushed it off as a drunken mistake. Heero didn't want to make another drunken mistake, regardless of how good it would feel in the moment. Another chuckle escaped Duo. "I want you to put those pretty lips on mine, kissy-boy." "Nnn." Heero worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "You don't mind kissing me, right?" "... No," he sighed. He was determined not to be the one to close the distance between them. If another mistake was going to happen, Duo was going to have to be the one to make it happen. That was the only way he could justify it for himself. He closed his eyes when Duo's warm hand slipped around his neck and pulled him closer until their lips met. Duo effortlessly worked Heero's pliant mouth open and coaxed his tongue to dance with his and take turns exploring each other's mouths. His hand remained on the back of Heero's neck, anchoring him into the kiss. The Japanese man straightened his legs out as the folded-up position of his leg made the growing erection in his jeans painful. He received and returned the kiss eagerly, but he was afraid to reach out his hands and touch Duo - afraid of doing something that would cause him to stop like last time. Duo's breaths came harshly out of his nose and brushed down Heero's cheek, and the man was making small, satisfied noises. It was a heady experience that Heero knew he would never get enough of. Heero yelped when two strong hands grabbed his hips and he was maneuvered into Duo's lap, straddling his thighs. He reactively locked his arms around Duo's neck. Normally, when he was perched on someone's lap, he would grind his ass down and simultaneously push his pelvis forward, providing himself friction against his partner's stomach; but with Duo, he was conscious not to let him feel his erection, very much aware that it could freak him out. Duo disconnected their mouths and relocated his lips to Heero's craned neck, searching for the most sensitive spots that he kissed and sucked. The other moaned helplessly and he squirmed on top of him. He wanted to make Duo feel good and he was curious about touching him, so he let one hand trail down his chest and abdomen and then boldly pressed the heel of his palm against the hard bulge in Duo's dark jeans. Heero's own arousal pulsed at the sound Duo made in response to the touch. He bit his lip but couldn't silence his own, pathetic whine. He kneaded Duo through the thick denim, feeling how hot and hard he was. Heero moaned gratuitously at the mere thought of having that cock in his hand, in his mouth, in his ass... Every fantasy of the past few months flashed behind his closed eyelids. Thankfully, Duo's lips found his again and they resumed their passionate kiss. While massaging Duo with one hand, he reached down with his other to cup and squeeze himself through his jeans. He was aching and he couldn't resist offering himself some relief. His gasp interrupted their kiss when Duo's hand covered his on the front of his jeans, giving him more leverage to rock against. "Ahh, Duo..." He dropped his head down, burying his face in the crook of Duo's neck. He greedily breathed in his masculine scent. When he removed his own hand, it was replaced by Duo's and strong fingers explored the shape of his manhood through his jeans. Heero's eyes fluttered open in surprise when Duo popped the button and then lowered the zipper. Before he could say anything, his cock was pulled out of his underwear and enveloped by the big hand and he cried out and bit into Duo's shoulder. It felt so good to finally have Duo touching him in one of the ways he had always dreamed about. The man didn't seem shy or unsure. He uttered "This is trippy," but he didn't stop. He released him only to spit into his hand to make his palm slick, and then wrapped his fist around Heero's length again and started pumping. "Oh, God... Oh, God!" Heero bucked his hips involuntarily, thrusting himself into the tunnel of Duo's hand. His eyes were closed but he saw bright stars and fireworks and the pleasure built quickly, as did the pressure in his belly. Before he even realized it was happening, he was coming. His orgasm completely caught him off guard and overcame him. He let out a shrill cry at the peak. Duo's hand only faltered momentarily and then eased him through his orgasm, dutifully pumping his fist until the last of his semen spurted out. Heero's head rested on Duo's shoulder, he had his mouth wide open to breathe and moan and he was drooling on his shirt. One of Heero's hands was still in Duo's lap, but it hadn't been doing much. With the other he clutched desperately at Duo's chest. Heero's senses started to return to him and he planted a kiss on the side of Duo's neck. He wanted Duo to pick him up and carry him into his bedroom, where he would help the bigger man reach his own release and then he'd curl up against him and fall asleep. His lips started to form a sated smile, but the pleasure of his aftermath was crushed by Duo's words. "Ew, gross," the long-haired man said. He let go of Heero's softening penis and he stared down at his hand and the front of his shirt, both covered with come. Duo chuckled breathily and wiped his hand on Heero's shirt as some kind of act of revenge. "Yuck." He laughed again. "At least I give a girl fair warning." Heero sat up and looked down at the milky white streaks on Duo's black shirt. He didn't know what to say; he was mortified at his premature release and Duo's reaction wasn't helping. He tried: "Sorry, it's the alcohol." "Jesus. I gotta clean up." He pushed Heero to the side and the other man rolled bonelessly onto the cushion next to him. Duo jumped up from the couch and went to the bathroom. "Good God, you shot like a bucket worth of load too," he called as he turned on the water. Heero tucked himself back into his jeans, suddenly very uncomfortable with being exposed and feeling very vulnerable. His heart ached as, once more, it hadn't played out the way he had naively hoped. Tears were prickling in his eyes as Duo continued to ridicule him for his fast release and laughing at the mess he was cleaning up. "Have you been saving this shit up or something?" Duo emerged from the bathroom wearing a different shirt. "I'm sorry," Heero said again. "Well, at least I did good," he quipped with a wink. "Do you want me to-" Heero couldn't finish his sentence but he trusted Duo knew what he was offering. Duo looked down at himself and laughed. "Nah, don't worry about it. Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it has on you, it seems. The soldier is already at ease." Heero crawled further to the end of the couch when Duo sat back down. He needed more distance between them than Duo was giving him. He didn't understand what was going on and why the mood had changed so much. What did Duo think would happen if he jerked him off? Heero supposed the reality of another guy coming in his hand - and on his shirt - was more jarring than he was prepared for, but he resented his friend for getting into something that he should have known he wouldn't like in the end. Duo's reaction made him ashamed of his sexuality and of his body. The humiliation made Heero's face burn. "Do you wanna watch a movie or do you wanna go to bed?" He checked his watch and noted: "It is kinda late." "Go to bed?" Heero's eyes widened. What was Duo offering? "Yeah, I have a guest bedroom you can crash in." Oh. "I'm not gonna let you drive and I stayed at your place last time." Heero shook his head at the offer. "No, I'll- I'll get an Uber." "Okay, whatever you want," Duo replied simply. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV; they waited together for Heero's ride to come pick him up, catching the tail end of an eighties action movie. Half an hour later, Heero closed the door of his apartment behind him and leaned against it. What he was going through he could best describe as an out-of-body experience. Thinking back on the evening, he was in the room as a third person, watching a naïve, Japanese man let himself get lifted onto Duo's lap, let himself get kissed, let himself get touched. It was like watching a character in a movie do something that the viewer knows will end badly and you cringe at the sight as the scene plays out. Heero squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, wanting to rid himself of the memory. He went to bed that night confused and angry and he didn't get much sleep. To be continued...
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