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"Warheads"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Post War, angst, fluff, psychological
issues, lemon Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo and Heero try to become more than
comrades in their attempt to be normal young men. They settle down
but find that peacetime is difficult to adjust to and with only each
other to rely on, it is a struggle, especially for Heero. " Warheads "
With familiar reluctance I watched Heero disappear from our apartment. A duffel bag swung over his shoulder, as casual as you please. With a gait determined and strong he took the last step, into the hallway and the door fell shut behind him. A definitive click resounded. I felt a sickening coil in my stomach and a restriction in my throat and my body, heart and mind were communicating panic to one another. It multiplied and multiplied, building within me to impossible heights like a storm raised the water's surface over the dykes. But just when I felt the climax was about to happen and everything would spill forth and flood the calm plains of me... it stopped. And a displeased voice within me berated my desperation and dependence. "Call yourself a God of Death..." I muttered, in agreement with that voice in the back of my head. "It's just for the weekend. He'll be back Sunday!" Still, in spite of my rationality it took me many more moments to tear my gaze away from the shut door. "When will you be back?" I had asked him as I leaned myself against the doorframe, trying my best to appear unconcerned. Heero was kneeling by his bed, his arms reaching under to pull out his emergency duffel bag. He took some things out and replaced them with others. I couldn't tell what was left behind and what was taken, I only looked at his concentrated face and those piercing eyes, scrutinizing everything. "Sunday." Was his less than elaborate answer. I rolled my eyes. His answer did not satisfy my question. "I know, but when? What time?" "Shouldn't be too late." I raised my eyebrows and folded my arms judgmentally. "You don't know exactly? Don't you know when your flight leaves New York?" There was a short, seemingly thoughtful pause before he said: "I'd have to check the itinerary." "Well, check it then." He gaze shifted towards me and he seemed angry at my impatient and pushy demeanor. "I don't have it. It's at the office." I sighed, not knowing how to handle him when he was in such a state of deviancy, working so hard to shut me out of his life and all I could do was peddle against the stream of a powerful river. My energy was being drained by each stroke. But even though admittedly tired, I couldn't let him drown me. "Why are you being so stubborn?" I managed a calm and non-accusing tone. "I'm not stubborn." He zipped up the bag with rushed, jerky movements. "Why do you want to know all this? It's just a conference." He walked towards me and wanted to pass through the doorframe but I blocked his way. He stood before me impatiently, glaring up at me, the bag's strap clutched tightly in his fists. I tried to see past the anger, I knew something was behind there. The fire of rage was only to distract me from something else, something more vulnerable, but it was well protected by the soldier, throwing gasoline and gunpowder into the flames to keep them burning blindingly bright. I frowned and Heero frowned back angrily. I had deflated, I felt my body shrink and become weak. I looked at him desperately, eyes searching for kindness and mercy but the Soldier had been relentless that morning and gave me nothing, not even the tiniest glimpse. I saw only cold glass orbs set into a face of finely sculpted marble. As a statue of the soldier he was unreadable, even to me, the one who prided knowing him so well. It was like my brain had suffered a stroke and all of a sudden I no longer understood the language he was speaking to me. With my body no longer presenting a formidable obstacle, he pushed past me. His shoulder dug into my chest, adding to the throbbing pain already there. "Just give me a time. An estimate." I begged him pathetically. Heero had shrugged with his back towards me. "Probably ten O'clock." He finally relented. "Thank you." My voice was soft and breathless. He looked over his shoulder, but not at me. His gaze was cast down at the carpet at my feet. I don't know why he looked back, perhaps, subconsciously, the boy within him wanted me to see his face at that moment. It was pained and sad and also, self loathing. I told him I didn't want him to go. He looked away, the soldier composing himself, when he looked back again the anger had returned. "I have to do this." He declared in his deliciously deep voice that always sent shivers down my spine. "I'm just afraid you are fleeing from something." I had whispered, taking a few steps towards him, my troubled eyes reminding him of last night. His eyes narrowed. "I told you about this trip last week. I am not running. I'm doing the one thing I'm good at!" His raised voice surprised me, scared me. I didn't understand why he was getting so upset with me. "That's not true! You can be good at anything, if you would just let me help you." He had turned away again and with jerky movements had reached for the doorknob. He could not be persuaded to stay. I never had such naive hope. His work was his mission, the one thing in his life that still affirmed to him that he was the perfect soldier. The one thing that he still had control over, needed no assistance with. The one thing he could do better than anybody else. I felt he cherished that quality so much, he clung to it, like one would cling to the edge of a cliff. Falling is frightening, that I knew, but I was standing there to catch him, calling up to him, but still he dare not let go. He didn't trust me to catch him. There are so many metaphors, so many analogies, I mused grimly as I still stared at the closed door, so many parallels. But they were all equally disheartening and came down to the same thing: I was losing him to the soldier. Everything had been so perfect since Monday. No, I corrected myself, it had seemed so perfect. His honest words and acceptance of my kisses melted away any suspicions or doubts I had. For a little while. But not long enough. And everything changed when they came back to haunt me and those dreaded questions finally pushed passed my lips, just last night. I could see the change in his eyes immediately. They had been open and clear all through the week, showing me soft sides I had not yet witnessed before. I found out how small he could look, how lost he could look, how loving he could look. I pocketed the memory safely, till, if ever, I was able to see it again. I went to school in spite of not being in any suitable mindset to learn. Worry consumed me. An overwhelming mixture of emotions was beating down on me, filling my lungs and taking my breath away. I had burst the bubble and since had been filled with regret. I knew better than to accept a way of living that was a charade, a lie or a careful construction of smoke and mirrors, but honestly I had felt much more comfortable and content within that bubble. Reality was even worse than the lie. Halfway through a quiet day I took my regular seat in the colony literature class. The teacher, who was writing quotes on the blackboard checked his watch and then looked at me curiously. "Maxwell?" I shook my bangs out of my face to make eye-contact with him. "Break time isn't over yet." He said. "I know." The first words I had said since Heero left for his conference. "Do you mind?" He shrugged, "Not at all." There was a pause and then he turned away from the board to face me with a slightly sheepish expression. "Uhm... Since you're here, miss Christenson said you might be able to help me with this..." He reached into a deep drawer and pulled out the colony model that I had watched him break before. "She said you excelled in the arts and craft class and... well, I'm horrible with that stuff. I've pretty much superglued myself to every random object in my house." I rose from my seat and took the pieces of the colony out of his delicate hands. Hands that hadn't seen a day of manual labor in a lifetime. I quickly puzzled it together with glue and then hammered it to it's base using a wayward nail and the strong back of a heavy textbook. The teacher just finished writing down the quotes and seemed delighted to see the model in it's restored glory at the corner of his desk. "Thank you, Maxwell." he smiled a friendly, earthian smile, "You're really good at fixing things." "Yeah..." I muttered, not in full agreement with him. Either I wasn't as good at fixing things as he believed or some things were just too broken to be fixed. I preferred to believe in the former. The bell rang and I returned to my seat. The classroom slowly filled, Sookie being one of the last to enter. She looked surprised when she saw me. As she sat down at the desk next to mine she asked me where I had been, she had apparently been looking for me all day. I apologized for her trouble and causing her worry, but said nothing more. Sookie, though not the most apt at deciphering subtle hints got the message and didn't press the issue. She quietly paid attention to class whilst I lost myself in my own thoughts. When the class ended she walked with me to Math, in no hurry to make it to her own class. "Sooo..." She started cautiously, "What's with the gloom? Ye've been so upbeat all week... Bouncing from wall to wall." "I'm afraid I lost the bounce in my step." "What happened?" I didn't say anything. I didn't exactly mind her questions and was in fact grateful for her concern, but I wasn't in the mood to offer any answers. Mostly because I didn't have most of the answers. "Heero?" I snorted. "What else?" "Ya asked him?" She sped the conversation along as we were nearing my classroom. "Yeah." "And?" "And we had a fight." We stopped by the door to my class. "A big fight." I cast my gaze down to the floor, seeking relief. "This morning... I didn't want him to leave. It didn't feel right, but I couldn't stop him and it only made things worse." A soft hand landed on my shoulder. "Every couple fights from time to time, Duo." Sookie's voice was soothing but sadly offered no resolve. "About whether or not one of them has been... molested?" I bit back. I immediately apologized, it wasn't fair of me to take my anger and frustration out of her. She was quiet for a while, uncertain about what to say, how to calm me, not knowing that no words of hers could ever offer me such. Only Heero could end my worrying. "Maybe ya should go after him. To New York." She said with a hopeful smile. "It'll be romantic." "I don't even know where he's staying. Besides, he won't be happily surprised, he likes to keep business and pleasure separate, because of the nature of his work. All that "confidential shit"." I frowned deeply and exclaimed with an annoyed tone: "What is the matter with me? This isn't me! Look at me fussing over this guy, always afraid that he's gonna take off. A few months ago we were just friends, not even that! And now... God, I don't even know what we are!" "... yer in love. That's what ya are." Sookie said with her persistent smile. "Both of ya." "Yeah?" She nodded and chuckled at my pathetic insecurity. "Of course. Don't ya think that if he didn't really love ya back, he would've simply left? Staying with ya is hard on him, cuz it's new and awkward. But he's facing all that, for ya, cuz he loves ya." She leaned forward, up on the tips of her toes and kissed me on my cheek. "I gotta go, or I'm in serious trouble. And don't worry. Heero's gonna come back home to ya Sunday for the same reason he has been coming home to ya every single day. Love. Now I really gotta go!" She jogged off and I watched her leave. I called after her: "You've been watching too many daytime talk shows!" Without turning back she raised her hand and flashed me the finger, making me chuckle before I headed into the classroom. "Duo Maxwell," the teacher said with the utmost sarcastic tone, "how gracious of you to join us. With your permission, I would like to start my class now." "Sure." I opened my books and for the first time that day I was actually able to read the letters on the page instead of staring into the center fold like it was a fatal abyss. The next, shorter break between classes I invited Sookie over to my - mine and Heero's - place for dinner and she accepted with undeniable excitement. We met at the large oak tree in the front yard of the old school building and stopped by a video store and a supermarket on the way back to the apartment. In the dairy aisle I bluntly informed her that to sustain my good and light mood I wished not to talk about Heero and she nodded with understanding. By the time we arrived at the apartment we had to start working on dinner immediately. Usually I was alone in the kitchen as I prepared meals, so it took some getting used to - sharing the limited space with someone else, but we practically made a game out of working around each other and it was a nice distraction to have someone to talk to while you waited for the water to boil or the microwave to beep. The topic mostly revolved around her and I was fine with that. In fact, I was interested and curious. I learned a lot about her and my respect and admiration for her grew and I enjoyed listening to stories of family dinner parties and school dance recitals that were alien to me. She had led a full life, young as she was, the road had not always been easy. In that sense I considered us kin souls. I admired the lighthearted and strong manner in which she reflected on the hard times in her life and tried to return the favor by sharing more about my own history. Of course Heero was such an important part of this life, there was no fighting the conversation circling back to him and I didn't object to it, it simply didn't feel natural not to talk about him in the context of my life story. By the time we were done with dinner, every last bit of pasta sauce had been licked out of the pan and we had ended up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of beer. "How did ya guys meet?" she asked. "Uhm..." I scratched the back of my head. "Properly? I guess at the Alliance's hospital..." "Why was he at the hospital?" "I shot him." "No! Ya shot him?" "... Twice." I admitted with a shameful chuckle. "But I did save him from that place! And later he stole parts from my Gundam so I consider us even. And he punched me in the gut, knocking me unconscious!" Sookie listened to the remainder of my wild stories - starring me and Heero - with a fascinated sparkle in her eyes. "When did ya first realize ya loved him?" She asked with a dreamy voice. I thought about it for a moment and realized there was no simple, curt answer to that. "I don't know. It all went it stages. I mean, at first I hated his guts, later thought he was crazy and then I finally started to see the sense in the madness, I saw the willpower and the strength. I admired him as a soldier. That's how it started. How that progressed into the desperate kind of love I feel for him now... I honestly have no idea." She sighed, she found it all very romantic. I cast a brief glance down at my watch and was startled by the time. We had talked well past midnight without either of us realizing it. Sookie caught my look and suggested it was time for her to head home and then instantly a dread washed over me that made my heart clench. I didn't want to be alone. After a moment's hesitation I offered her the couch and one of my oversized T-shirts to sleep in. To offer her Heero's bed was not an option, knowing how protective he was of his personal space. Sookie gratefully accepted and I went to get her something to sleep in and an extra blanket and pillow while she called her grandparents to spare them worry. Luckily our couch was large and comfortable and with her being as short as she was, she could easily stretch out. "Duo?" She called as I stood at my bedroom door, about to close it behind me. "Yeah?" She was sitting up on the couch, her bare knees pulled up to her chest, her blonde hair disheveled around her heart-shaped face. "Tonight was really fun." I smiled. "Yeah, it was... Goodnight." "Goodnight." The next morning Sookie slept through all my rummaging about in the kitchen after I had gotten us breakfast and was preparing coffee. She didn't wake until I brought a cup of steaming black coffee over to her and held it by her nose. She wrinkled her nose, sniffed and then her eyes fluttered open. She obviously wasn't a morning person, but the coffee did her good. After her first cup was emptied, I poured her a second and then offered her the bagel with peanut butter that I had made on automatic pilot. "It's good." She said with a mouth full and a sheepish smile. "Heero's favorite." She smiled brighter, thoroughly enjoying my lovesick antics and quiet admissions regarding them. I looked away, feeling a little guilty as all I could think about, with her sitting on the couch, the blanket wrapped around herself in modesty, eating the breakfast I usually made for Heero, was replacing her presence with Heero's. She was a dear friend, a good person and I enjoyed her company, but the night had been rough, staring at that tightly made-up bed against the opposite wall. A haunting emptiness. "Maybe ya should go to the office tomorrow and pick 'im up." She suggested, finishing her second coffee. "I don't know exactly when he'll be back." Sookie shrugged. "So? Ya said that he thought he'd be back around ten, right? Just be there at nine thirty and wait for him. Then ya can go home together." I frowned. "You really think I should? Isn't that kind of... over the top... clingy?" "Not in my world. I don't know about Gundam-pilot world though." She winked. I decided in that moment, backed up by her blessing, to go and pick him up tomorrow, no matter how long I would have to wait. "I should get dressed." "You can take a shower if you want. The towels are in the cabinet under the sink." "Thanks." She tiptoed off to the bathroom with her clothes from yesterday bundled up under her arm. Once she was ready I walked her to the nearest bus stop and hugged her goodbye, thanking her for the nice evening and her support. She brushed it off. It was no big deal to her, but it was to me. I ignored her aloof attitude and hugged her again. When I turned to the apartment, something I had postponed by taking a lengthy detour, it was awfully quiet. I walked over to where the remote was buried in between two seat cushions and turned on the TV for some welcome background noise and then just stood by the couch for a while, not knowing what to do with myself. My feet took me back to the bedroom and my body lowered itself onto my bed. Sitting at the edge of the mattress I looked at the bed across from the small open space. The bed looked carved out of marble, with the sheets tucked in tightly and the pillow fluffed with dedication. With effort I suppressed the urge to mess it all up. It wouldn't make it seem like Heero was here, he always made his bed like that. I passively let time tick by as my thoughts drifted further and further away from the present, back into the past. To the moment I had taken hold of that sharp, sharp needle and with it pricked at the pristine, protective bubble that had engulfed us and had distorted view of reality. It was like experiencing a well-remembered dream, every little detail had been preserved, yet it felt surreal and, in a way, distant from myself. He was sitting right there, on the edge of his bed. And I was sitting right next to him. He bent forward, hands gliding down bare, long, muscled legs to take hold of the hem of each sock and pull them off one by one. He threw them to the floor, by the foot of his bed, where he clothes were neatly hung over the footboard. He was already in his black T-shirt and underwear, his sleepwear. "You aren't going to take a shower?" I asked. Heero shook his head. "I'm tired." I nodded. He sounded tired. He sighed and lowered himself onto the bed with a half bit back groan, lying across the bed with his legs still dangling off the side. I lay down next to him, on my side, propped up on one elbow. My free hand I placed on his stomach and felt the strong muscles tense up, becoming hard like steel. "You've been working a lot." I stated, needlessly. He had been coming home exceptionally late all week and although I never caught him in a foul mood, I could tell it was wearing on him, like the wind could erode even the mountain away. His eyes were without fight, without life. Something was weighing on him, something at work, but it was all confidential; not for my ears. I didn't like that there was obviously a secret between us, even if it was only job related. That was stupid of me. I knew, more than most people, the necessity of keeping information to yourself. I guess I just still had to get used to being merely a civilian. Like a balloon that popped, Heero deflated and his body relaxed. Yet his stomach was still hard, so flat. Dirty thoughts came to me, there was no stopping them. There was no stopping the devil of desire. I stroked my hand up and down, feeling his skin through the fabric of the T-shirt that was being pushed up more and more by the motion of my hand, till finally it had rode up enough for my hand to slip underneath and soak up the warmth of his skin. "Your hand is cold." Heero's voice was groggy. I looked at his face and saw he had his eyes shut, unable to keep them open after a long, exhausting week. "I'm warming it up." I replied softly, getting sidetracked. I kept stroking my hand up and down, feeling the slight ripple of the modest six-pack. I enjoyed the thought that however small and frail he could appear, he had unequalled strength and could easily overpower me, yet he didn't. Because he was all mine. I adjusted my position on the bed so our faces were close together. I kissed his lips, catching him by surprise. His eyes flew open, danger returning to them briefly, but exhaustion quickly made him submit. His eyes clouded over, his face was blissfully relaxed, like he normally only looked when he was sleeping, but his eyes were looking right back into mine. Into my everything. And I looked back but I didn't see nearly as far into him as he into me. That irked me. It had been irking me for a while. The question that had been eating away at me returned to the forefront of my thoughts, to the battlefield. I tried to fight it off by kissing him again and letting my hand trail up further underneath his shirt, but that, sadly, had limited effect. I kissed him harder, deeper and Heero lazily accepted my passion. I rejoiced when I felt his hand on the back of my neck, it wasn't a strong grip, but it was encouraging to the raging hormones. Testosterone filled my veins and threatened to burst the seams. Still that question was there, even as I bent one knee and laid my leg across his. The most innocent version of that question being: Was I the first? And with the testosterone the question fought for ground within my body. My stomach coiled painfully and all my muscles tensed up. I felt like it was about to explode out of me. I suddenly broke our kiss and raised my head up a bit. "Heero, I have to ask you something..." I blurted without a second thought. "Later." He pushed his head off the mattress and reconnected our lips. The hand on the back of my neck became more firm as he pulled me back down with him. I pulled back again. "No, now." I said, even as I realized now was not the best - if not the worst - time. He waited for me to speak, but I suddenly lost my words. I had dropped them and now they were scattered all across the floor and I could not make any sense of them. I made some stuttering attempts that caused his brows to furrow in confusion. "I... Uh... God!" I sat up straight on his bed and ran my hands through my hair right to the beginning of the braid at the base of my neck where they tangled and it felt good to pull on my hair a little. Heero sat up too, his confusion had only intensified. "I want to talk about something." I was proud to even be able to make a coherent sentence. "I want to talk about... the next step." He drew up one eyebrow in question. My words were making as little sense to him as they were to me. I struggled through both our confusion. "The next sexual step." A dark shade settled in his eyes and replaced a flicker of trepidation I could have sworn I had seen, but his expression remained neutral and waiting. "Ever since that time after the ball... when... well you know what happened, you were there." I forced a chuckle out of me, but it sounded as awkward as I felt and did nothing to alleviate the situation. My face reformed it's dead-serious and frankly scared expression. I took a deep breath, like that would help - it didn't - I continued down the path that I had unwisely taken. "I've been thinking stuff that I really don't want to think, because I don't want them to be true, but I think them. And I can't stop thinking about it!" "You're being very vague." Heero interrupted, his hand smoothing over his T-shirt to cover his abdomen, even he could sense that what I was about to say would make it impossible for us to return to the intimate moment we just shared. "I have to ask you something." "So you said." He stated flatly, his eyes challenging. "I know J did some crazy shit to you. And made, or let, some crazy shit happen to you... To prepare you for anything. Anything." I emphasized and looked at him expectantly, to connect the dots. But he didn't. He was going to make me ask point-blank. "When you shied away from me that night," my voice grew soft and vulnerable, reflecting my state of being, "I started thinking that maybe... something bad happened to you... in that way." I observed him intently and saw many different things in his large, blue orbs, replacing each other too quickly for me to identify anything. After moments of searching, the hints seemed to dawn on him, but his face was one of undeniable disbelief, like he couldn't believe I would ask him that. Moments passed, stretching into the illusion of eternity and yet he didn't say anything. My heart beat wildly, uncontrollably. I felt I might collapse and pass out from the pressure in my chest as my bleeding heart thudded in my ribcage, thundering like an approaching stampede of bulls. When he looked away I softly called his name and he looked back. If looks could kill we'd be in a post-apocalyptic world right now. "What exactly are you asking me?" He played dumb but the seething anger and betrayal in his voice made it evident he had understood the depth of the question perfectly. Yet I instantly recognized in his eyes that he was going to make me clarify. "Were you raped?" Only being hit by a bolt of lightening could describe the intensity of the words that I threw out there, into his bed, into the small space separating us. The words made that distance grow immensely, to an insurmountable stretch. He seemed to struggle with his own thoughts for a long time, his gaze searching around the room. His chest was heaving as he panted with anger and a sense of panic. "Why are you asking me this?" he finally asked with an eerily calm tone of voice, but he could not compose himself for long, the anger was already building back up. Nothing that I could have said at that point could have prevented his outburst, so I was honest with him. "I thought- I worried that that may have happened to you. It has been killing me inside, thinking that something like that may have happened." "Why?" He spat halfway through my pathetic explanation. "Wha-?" "Has the choke-bag been killing you inside? Have all the beatings been killing you inside? Have all that other shit that you think may or may not have happened been killing you inside?" He rose to his feet, to, for once, assert dominance in height as he looked down at me sitting on his bed with a guilty expression. "How is that any different from... "that"?" "Because..." I panted, feeling stressed and cornered. I couldn't think straight but knew I had to give him all the answers he wanted or the situation would only worsen. But he didn't give me any time to think and form my words in such a way that he would understand and could be calmed by. "What, Duo? What?" He almost screamed. He didn't sound like himself at all. I realized he had never yelled at me before. It cut right through me. His voice suddenly quieted down and his narrow eyes glistened as he spoke: "Is it that you wouldn't want me if that had happened?" "No! Heero!" I looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Heero, please, don't think like that. It's nothing like that... It's different because that's so intimate... so personal... I feared - and would understand if - that would have gotten to you more than that other stuff!" Heero snorted and an evil grin appeared on his face under the influence of the soldier that hadn't made an appearance in a long time. "Worse things have happened to me- and I have done worse things, than rape." I looked down. I didn't want to see his face; it wasn't him. It was merely him putting up defenses. I realized he still hadn't given me a straight answer to my question, but I was too scared to ask him again. I didn't know how to interpret his anger either. Was he angry because it did happen and he doesn't want me to know or talk about it? Or was he angry because it didn't happen and he is insulted that I have been thinking that it has for so long? Either way I felt his past had many dark aspects that were still secrets to me and he felt comfortable keeping things secret. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to know all of it, but I knew I had to. It would just have to wait till later. If he will give me later. "Get off my bed." He ordered, dead calm. And that had been the end of it. He didn't tell me loved me as he tucked into bed. Still I had faith that he did. And like Sookie had said: that would bring him back to me. I had to keep faith in that. Without it I would be lost. The lonely day came to an end. I tucked into bed early, hoping sleep would catch me quickly and take me to Sunday in a hurry. But without him lying there across from me, sleep was elusive and dawn was in no hurry whatsoever. The moon crept across the sky slowly, with the stars dancing around him. Finally the colors of the sky started to change from the midnight blue to more friendly pastels as the sun climbed higher and higher and chased away all of the darkness but the shadowy voids within myself. I laid in bed for a long time after sunrise, fighting the aching pain in my back. I knew the lady at the bakery would be worried , but I couldn't concern myself with that. My head was full as it was and it felt heavy, carrying it on my neck, so I rested it on the pillow for as long as I could stand it. When I finally got out, I took a shower first. My body notified me audibly of it's hunger, but there was no appetite to spur me towards the kitchen. After a leisure shower all I could force through my throat was strong, black coffee and a few dry crackers. Later in the afternoon I took a bottle of beer and after that another, because I had bought too much of it - being the street rat that I was I basically bought everyone if it was "a steal" - and it took up a lot of place in the refrigerator. Halfway through that second bottle I realized I wasn't even enjoying it, so I gave up on it and drained it in the sink. Even as I turned on the TV and cranked up the volume I could not tune out the ticking of my watch. When dinner time eventually came around, I was starting to get excited about seeing Heero again. No matter what had transpired between us before his departure I had every intention of just walking up to him, hugging him tightly and kissing him passionately, regardless of who was watching and what they would think. I had a feeling that in spite of everything, he wouldn't stop me and that made me smile. At nine O'clock I left the apartment behind so I would be at the Preventers Head Quarters in time to welcome Heero, even if they had arrived sooner than expected. Excitement made me jog all the way to the underground metro station, I felt like nothing could tire me, even though I had barely gotten any sleep the past two nights. My uncharacteristic optimism was surprising, but I enjoyed it and I hoped the feeling would last. Sitting in the underground train I thought it was interesting to think Heero sat here every day, twice a day, on his way to work and on his way back to me. He may have even sat it this very seat. I don't know why that thought amused me, but it did. That tightening feeling returned to my stomach again. The train was heading up to the surface as we had cleared the city. The world had already gone dark and for a moment there was nothing to be seen, only my own reflection, as it had been inside the pitch-black tunnel. But when a mechanic voice overhead announced we were nearing Kennedy Station, I had something to look to as I peered through the window. Up ahead - I could only see it if I pressed my face against the pane of glass - was Kennedy Space Center and adjacent was the high rising tower of the Preventer agency that used the revitalized center as it's personal air- and space port, whilst showing off it's muscle to the visiting public of the museum. The train stopped with a final announcement and I scurried to get off before the train would move on. I was one of the few people to get off at the platform, out in the fresh, open air. The train left and I looked around myself for a moment as I tried to gather myself and determine which way to go. As I carefully read the signs a deafening rumble started. Even though it was loud, I could tell it was far away. I scanned the surroundings and spotted a dark shadow against the lights of the runway. A single light on the nose of it blinked, the air behind the machine vibrated. With those two indicators I could estimate the size. The noise increased in volume as the machine started moving. After a short warm-up it quickly sped off and it climbed into the dark sky long before it reached the end of the runway. I smiled like the young, gear-head boy that I was and watched the blinking light till it disappeared. I recognized it as one of the Super Sonic 53 aircrafts, developed around the time of my birth. Initially meant for commercial use they were quickly banned because they were too loud, even when they were at altitude. I knew the Preventers used them now, to transport agents to far away missions. At full speed the SuSo53 could cross the Atlantic Ocean in under two hours. Nothing faster had ever been created without getting into the hassle of breaking through the atmosphere. Not legally, that is. Only Heero's Gundam could rival it's speed. I smiled and shook the nostalgia out of my head and followed the footpath that read "PREVENTER AGENCY MAIN VISITOR'S ENTRANCE" After a short walk I reached the entrance and the double, automatic doors slid open with a hiss as I triggered a hidden motion sensor. The lobby - looking very industrial; made of steel and concrete - was empty except for the single receptionist sitting behind her desk in the middle of the grey void. "Good evening." She said warmly as I stopped by the door with hesitation. I walked up to the counter and greeted her in kind. "How can I help you?" "I'm here to pick up a friend. He's supposed to come back from a conference tonight." "What is your friend's name, sir?" "Heero Yuy. He works in the computer intelligence analysis department." I chuckled. "I only remembered that because the initials are CIA." She looked at me blankly. "You know, from the former, pre-colony- Never mind." I waved it off, realizing there was no sense getting into it. Pre-colony times were forgotten by many. The only reason I remembered it is because reading old history books was the only fun I was allowed to have at the orphanage. "Let me contact that department. Your name, sir?" "Duo Maxwell." She adjusted her headset and dialed a number, her fingers moving at a lightening speed. Even faster than Heero when he typed up reports "back in the day", sitting cramped at a small, dorm-room desk, lit only by the blue glow of his computer screen. "Hello, this is Ona, from Reception..." She suddenly looked at me and rolled her eyes, bemused, "hm hm, may I interrupt you, Georgia? I have a visitor for Heero Yuy ... Duo Maxwell ..." She looked at me again and asked me to take a seat on one of the finely styled steel benches against the wall. "She put me on hold." Ona explained sheepishly. "This might take a while." With my hand in my pockets I walked over to the bench and sat myself down. I heard Ona tap her pen against her desk impatiently. Then: "Yes? Oh. Okay. Yes, I'll tell him. ... No ... Georgia, I am working, tell me later. Bye!" She stood up so she could look over the high counter. "If you would just wait here a few seconds, someone is coming down to escort you." I frowned but realized I shouldn't be surprised. This was a secret service agency I was walking into after all. I looked at the single set of steel elevator doors in the back of the lobby and waited for them to open. It took a long time. It nearly wore down my patience, but finally a "ding" echoed through the empty space and the doors opened. A typical, nerdy looking, young man stepped out, dressed in ill-fitted sand colored slacks and a white, striped button-up with a coffee stain in it. The hair was messy and the face unshaven, but attractive in a quirky way with thick, black framed glasses perched on his nose. He walked up to me with his eyebrows heavily furrowed and his eyes lost. "Duo Maxwell?" He simply asked. "Yes." I stood up. I eyed him carefully. He seemed nervous and jumpy. "Follow me." I followed him back into the elevator. There was no panel with buttons, just a blue light, a scanner apparently. He swiped the card that he carried around his neck with a Preventer issue keychain in front of the light and the elevator started moving. A sensible method of security, workers could only reach two floors; the ground floor to get in and out and the floor they were authorized to be on; where they worked. "I didn't catch you name." I said as I caught him staring at me in the reflection of the doors. "That's because I didn't say it." He sighed, shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then said: "I'm Reid Mixson." Great, I thought, disgruntled. "We talked on the phone." "Yeah." I saw no use in small talk. "Is Heero back from the conference yet?" "Uh, no. Should be here soon though." He voice was shaky. I had the feeling he was scared of me. Probably because he had been such an ass to me on the phone and now realized I was about a foot taller than him and my upper arm was as big as his thigh - which said more about his thigh than my arm. I didn't know how high the elevator climbed, with no indicator counting the floors we passed. But I assumed we were up pretty high, judging by the time the way up took, when the doors opened to a bustling hallway, workers rushing around with phones pinned between their ears and shoulders and rifling through stacks of papers and manila folders. At the far end of the hallway the space opened up to a large work floor where there was even more activity, I could hear people shouting and phones ringing. Reid opened one of the first doors to our left and led me into a narrow, quiet hallway. He ripped open a door at the end of this hallway and gestured for me to enter. I stepped inside and noted it was some sort of conference room, a large table in the middle, surrounded by a dozen leather desk chairs. A white canvas was pulled down in front of the window where information could be projected onto by the beamer suspended from the ceiling. "If you would just wait here, please. I'll let you know when they arrive." "Uh..." I looked around the boring room again, not too eager, but it didn't seem like I had much choice. "Sure." "Great. Just wait here." He closed the door and I could hear him run back down the hall. I walked over to the window and rolled the canvas back up so I could at least enjoy the view. I wasn't disappointed, the room looked out over one of the many space launch platforms and in the bright floodlights a space shuttle stood proudly, with it's nose up to the stars. I stared at it for a while but quickly lost my interest. At random - short - intervals I checked my watch for the time. I watched the thinnest hand tick away the seconds and when the longest hand touched the six to indicate ten thirty, I was fresh out of patience and decided to see if they had forgotten about me. Damn the fool who forgets about the God of Death, I grumbled inwardly and stormed towards the door, I grabbed the knob and twisted it, but ran into the hardwood door with my nose. "What the...?" I tried the doorknob a few more times. It was definitely locked. Perhaps it was a standard security measure, to prevent me from wandering into offices I wasn't allowed to be in? My rational, if a little naive, inner voice offered. The God of Death wasn't buying it. I scanned the room but there was nothing there I could use to pick the lock. The old-fashioned way, then, I thought. I took a step back, balanced myself on one foot and with the other I kicked the door just above the lock. It broke open and swung fully around on it's hinges to slam into wall. I didn't stick around to wait and see if anyone had overheard my escape and went down the hall, back towards the door we had came through earlier. I cracked it open an inch or two and peered through the opening. It seemed the employees were too busy to pay me any heed and I decided the best strategy was to "hide in plain sight": walk like you belong there. With my hands casually tucked into my jeans pockets I walked into the open and followed the hallway to the larger open space. It struck me that it looked more like a busy command center than a room full of hackers. I walked past all the cubicles, invisible to the workers. To the left there was another hallway and feeling bold, I explored it. I quickly noted the hallway led to separate offices. PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT WASHINGTON, one read. And the next: PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT PRUITT. The doors were open and the offices were empty. I walked down the hallway, heading for the door at the very end, presuming it would lead to another discovery. By the door a blue light blinked, much like the scanner in the elevator. Something interesting must be beyond there, otherwise they wouldn't have protected it. On my way I read the signs. PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT SANTIAGO. PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT KELLER. PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT LEVELT. I looked into the office of the tall, broad man I had met at the night of the ball, but his office was empty too. I turned and looked at the sign by the door across from agent Levelt's office. PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT YUY. I stopped. Stupid as it may have been, the first thing that I thought was: "Does another guy named Yuy work here?" Of course that innocent thought was quickly refuted by rationality. In a state of shock I pushed the ajar door open fully. A tidy office came into view. It looked bare and lonesome, decorated only with several file cabinets, a chair, a desk and on that a single phone and computer. I stepped back out of the office and looked at the sign again. The words read back the exact same way, my eyes had not betrayed me. PREVENTER SPECIAL AGENT YUY. I jumped when the secured door at the end of the hallway beeped and opened, but I was too frozen with shock to jump for cover. I was surprised to recognize the face that came into view. Brown wispy hair draped smoothly across the straight shoulders of her jacket and she looked very professional in her high heels and navy blue pencil skirt. Her eyes fell on me and did not share my surprise at this encounter. Also, she didn't look like she was going to send me away because I was somewhere I shouldn't be. She had a look of apologetic understanding to her. "Lady Une." I said as a way of greeting. "Duo Maxwell. Please, come with me." She guided me back to the locked door and swiped her card in front of the scanner. With that same beep the door opened and we stepped through. There was another long hallway. The doors bore signs like: GYM, SHOWERROOM, WEAPONS DEPOSIT and UNIFORM DISTRIBUTION. We came to another door that scanned her card before it opened. We ended up in a dark room, with many computers facing the same way and a large, lit up map of the world, the map was dotted with green and yellow lights, one blinked red on the African continent. Some people talked on phones in hushed voices, others squinted at their computer screens. This was really a command center. "Now I don't want you to worry." Une started and walked through a doorway into a luxurious office that I presumed to be hers. "He is a little overdue, but Heero can handle any mission. He is a very capable agent, you know this and as soon as communication is restored we can arrange a pick up. It's really nothing but a little delay." She was lying to me, but that wasn't the most important realization racing through my mind at that time. "What mission?" I asked demandingly.
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