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"Three"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Yaoi, threesome, lemon Pairings: 5x1, 5x2x1, 2x1 Summary: Boy falls in love with roommate. Roommate has a boyfriend. There seems to be only one solution.
"Three" Part Seven The next few nights I spent in a hotel, but I quickly found a cheap apartment on the other side of town. It was cramped, outdated and had the bare minimum of furnishings, but it was quiet and there were no distractions - along the lines of a hot roommate I happened to be madly in love with - so it was perfect for me as I threw myself into my studies. We only had a few weeks left until summer vacation and the upcoming finals served a perfect goal to work towards to keep myself sane. Heero never called. WuFei called once, but I didn't answer. Maybe I would have answered Heero's call, but I would never know. I passed all of my final exams with flying colors, my professors were very impressed, considering how I had started out at the beginning of the academic year. I was proud of myself. For the end-of-the-year recital, where I had been assigned the finale, I played the piece of music that I had written myself and had tentatively titled "Heero". When I was done I rushed off the stage and dry-heaved over a toilet bowl, but strangely, I felt better afterwards. I was surprised to see my father waiting out front. He had come to see me play. He invited me to coffee and my first instinct was to reject him, but I realized how selfish that would be and as I had proven to myself, I wasn't that guy anymore. I had to reacquaint myself with my dad if I were to ever figure out if I was still truly pissed at him - and had the right to be angry - or if I was only being petty, acting rashly on old emotions that I had never learned to deal with. Halfway into our cappuccino, he confronted me with the fact that I was no longer living with Heero. Something that I should have told him, considering he transferred money into Heero's account every month to cover my costs. He said Heero called him after the first month following me moving out, when he noticed the mistake. Initially, I couldn't do much more than mumble an apology. However, when he asked me why I had moved out of Heero's apartment without notice, I was frank with him, blunt even, for shock value. I left out the threesome-part of the story, but I summed up the truth. I needed to see his reaction. "Heero and I had sex a couple of times. I was in love with, but he was in love with somebody else. So it didn't work out." I suspected my father was so afraid of losing touch with me for good, that he could convince himself he was okay with anything and everything. Awkward and shocked as he was, he expressed sympathy. He never judged me for my sexuality, nor the crass manner in which I had just come out to him. After we finished our coffee and before we parted ways to head home, he thanked me, without saying what for and then he hugged me. I still stood in front of the coffee shop long after he had left. He didn't use to be like that. He was never very accepting, tolerant, understanding, empathetic nor sympathetic. Our relationship was characterized by his high expectations of me and my constant fear of disappointing him. I never considered the possibility that he could change. But if I could change - as I was convinced I had - surely he could too... I would never be able to forgive him for his inaction with regards to my brother's death, but as I stood there, with the creamy, yet bitter taste of coffee still in my mouth, I realized it was a mistake he had made when he was a different person and that raised the question of whether or not he should still be held accountable. I had been a horrible person when I was younger, doing all the wrong things, for all the wrong reasons, but I had changed. It was a change I felt and a change that was observed and acknowledged by others as well. Even Heero no longer saw me as the boy who degraded him and hurt him, he knew I had become a different person, a better person. He had never spoken of forgiveness, he didn't need to forgive me. He could resent the old me and love the new me in equal intensity. The question was obvious: was I mature enough to follow Heero'example? If I was, I could be the new and improved son to my new and improved father. The answer wasn't simple. I trusted, however, that I only needed to wait until I could feel that it was right. I didn't make any rash decisions and went home, lost in quiet thought. The summer was hot and humid and my small apartment felt claustrophobic. I didn't get much sleep, kicking away the sheets and wiping away the sweat that beaded on my brows and back and made the hair at the back of my neck stick to my skin - disgusting. To get away, I spent a lot of time at the park, but never in the mornings, when I knew Heero would be on his run. Time and distance helped greatly with my heartache. I didn't miss him nearly as much as I expected I would, after a couple of weeks. Many times I toyed with the idea of calling him, to meet up and see if we could be friends again, but I didn't dare to actually dial his number. If I thought about what his voice would sound like, after not hearing it for so long and what his face would look like after missing the sight of it all that time, I got weak in the knees and faint of heart. I still loved him, but I loved him from afar and that was alright, it wasn't hurting either one of us. I didn't think of him often, as time progressed, but whenever I did, it was pleasant. Sometimes I got lonely, on those days I thought of him a little more. Instead of cereal, I would have yoghurt and fruit for breakfast on those days; the smell reminded me of him and made me feel like he was sitting right next to me, at the breakfast bar. I would turn on the shower while I brushed my teeth. I would watch movies with a big bowl of buttered popcorn. I would drink beer, although I still disliked the taste. And the next day I would laugh and shake my head at how pathetic I was, but I would feel lighter nonetheless. When summer wound to an end, I went to a Jazz festival hosted by the college's music department. I had another Jazz course in the next semester and I had to force myself to familiarize myself with it. Having been raised on classical music, Jazz music just sounded like a lot of mistakes to me. The festival failed to change my mind. I was about to leave when the next student performer stepped onto the stage and the first tune played by the saxophone silenced the crowd. I knew a guy who played the saxophone... I thought to myself. I turned and, to my surprise, it was Jovan, the 'great guy'. Fueled by curiosity I stayed and watched his performance and once he was done I made my way through the crowd to the front to say hello to him. Our eyes had met during his song and it would be rude not to greet him. "Hey, still here?" He smiled at me. "I'm going back home next week." "It's good to see you." I didn't have any particularly strong feelings about seeing him again, but it was something I felt I was supposed to say. "Wanna go have a drink?" He smirked slyly. Remembering the kiss we had shared, I politely declined. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. He was attractive and the offer was tempting, but I didn't do casual sex anymore. I couldn't, not after Heero. "I'm heading home. I just wanted to say 'hi'." "Do you play jazz?" Jovan asked. "You're welcome to go up on the stage and show off." He nodded at the piano. Currently another saxophonist was playing. "It's not really my thing. But I'm taking another jazz course next year so I figured..." I shrugged. "Too bad I'm leaving. I could have helped you with that." "Yeah, you were great," I thought to say. Although I didn't appreciate jazz music personally, didn't mean I shouldn't compliment him, obviously he was very talented, based on the positive reaction the crowd had given him. "Thanks. Too bad I won't be able to hear you play." I nodded dumbly. I started chewing on the inside of my cheek as the silence that fell between us quickly became uncomfortable. "How's Heero?" Jovan asked and he smiled in an understanding manner, knowing he was the reason I wouldn't be going home with him. "I- I don't know. I haven't seen him a while." "Really?" He raised his eyebrows. "When was the last time you talked to him?" "About two months ago, a little over." "Oh." He grinned sheepishly, like he knew a secret I ought to know as well. "Oh?" "What about WuFei? Did you talk to him?" I was as confused and curious as I possibly could be. "No. What's going on?" "You haven't heard then?" "No! Tell me!" "They broke up." I blinked at him. My heart skipped a beat. The first thing I felt was pain. I felt sorry for them. I had really wanted them to live happily ever after, together. They both deserved it. But then my heart started pounding. "When?" "I don't know exactly. I saw WuFei last during finals and that's when he told me. He didn't say how long ago it happened, just that he was going to China for the summer alone because he and Heero broke up." My stomach coiled. That was weeks ago! I was instantly disappointed. If Heero had broken up with WuFei because of me - because of missing me - he would have contacted me, right? What did this mean? I realized I couldn't answer that question. Only Heero could. "I'm sorry," I said to Jovan. "I have to go." I didn't wait for him to respond, but I did catch the beginnings of a knowing smirk on his lips before I spun around and left the festival in a hurry. The apartment was close to the campus, so after a short jog I stood in front of the building. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say, or ask, or how I would behave, but my feet had carried me to the front door and there I was. With jittery fingers I rang the doorbell and after a few seconds the intercom crackled to life and an unfamiliar, male voice was heard. "Hello, who is this?" "Uhm..." My lack of preparation was even worse now that I was in a strange situation. Who was this? A new boyfriend? "I'm Duo Maxwell. Is Heero home?" "Who?" I frowned. "Heero Yuy?" It was silent for a while. "I'm sorry, I think you're looking for the previous tenant." Previous tenant? He moved away? "Th- thank you. I'm sorry to bother you." "That's alright. Goodbye." Following a beep the intercom went quiet. I supposed I had my answer. Heero had left. He had left everything behind. He didn't call me, he didn't email me, he didn't come looking for me and he knew that when or if I would come looking for him, I would hit a dead-end. I didn't know what to feel. I couldn't be disappointed, until mere moments ago I knew as much as I knew then that it was over between us and that we both had to move on. I could only hope that since apparently WuFei couldn't make him happy, he had found someone or something else to make him happy and that WuFei was happy as well. That was all I ever wanted for them. Deflated and suddenly tired, I went back to my hole-in-the-wall apartment and life went on. I had found out years ago, when my brother died, that even when you don't expect it to and even when you don't want it to, life always goes on. The daily grind drags you along, like a glacier underneath your feet, it takes you with it and before you realize it, you are someplace else. You never had to figure out how to get there or worry about the journey. When you look back, everything that was once so big and looming, had shrunk into the distance. When my savings were exhausted, the glacier pulled me to my father's house. I had nowhere else to go, except back to the dorms, but I didn't want to sacrifice my hard-fought GPA and I knew the only way we could ever be father and son again - or learn that it wouldn't work - was by actually spending time together and put ourselves into a position that promoted a family dynamic. The first night I spent in my old bedroom, I cried until sunrise. My room had been kept the same - a Playboy poster on the door, a sports jersey pinned to the wall above the desk, my books and CD's scattered on the shelves, my old clothes in the closet, hell even the worn issue of Men's Health was still hidden under the mattress. But as familiar as it was, the house did not feel like a home without Solo. His room had been preserved as well and it was right next door. I could feel the emptiness of that room, even through the walls; it hollowed out my chest. What upset me the most was not that I missed him, because I didn't miss him. What upset me was that we were never the brothers we should have been, the brothers I had wanted us to be, let alone the brothers that everyone thought we were. I had never been able to be myself around him. He had never known the true me and I suspected I had never known the true him; hiding behind entwined fingers clutching a cross. I would never even know if we would have liked each other if he had known I was gay and soft-hearted and if I had ever known what he was like underneath that layer of tradition and scripture. It was refreshing, however, that after all those years I did finally really get to know my father and I didn't feel the need to lie to him about who I was anymore. We had both made mistakes and we had both not lived up to the hopes nor expectations of the other, but all we could do was accept these flaws, shortcomings and surprises - wanted and unwanted - and keep moving forward. When we started fighting about the little things - about doing the dishes, keeping my room clean, no piano after midnight, not putting the empty milk carton back into the fridge and 'buy your own goddamn computer dad!' ... because there is gay porn on mine... - I realized we had done it. I was regularly so, so very angry at him, but not because I still felt like he could have saved Solo, but because he treated me like a child while I wished to be treated like an adult - you know, the regular stuff that all sons and fathers argue about; the classic 'but-not-while-you-are-living-under-my-roof' arguments. As time progressed, we learned how to not get on each other's nerves so much. I helped with the dishes, kept my room straight and didn't practice into the wee hours of the night and in turn he didn't drink directly from the carton and threw it away when it was empty and he purchased his own laptop so mine wasn't constantly missing because he was always shopping online for parts for his little drone. Like the manchild that he is, I would think as the little thing would come flying by my bedroom window as he either relived his time in the army, or his childhood - I couldn't quite tell. I did catch myself smiling at it. The glacier moved further along. I did my school work. I made an effort to make a couple of friends. I dated a couple of times. I brought one guy home to meet my dad to test him and he didn't even blink. When the boyfriend left and my father and I stood shoulder to shoulder at the sink, doing the dishes, he said ceremoniously, out of the blue: "I'm proud of the man you have become". It caught me off guard. I pondered the praise quietly as I dried a wineglass and then I replied, without being able to look at him: "And I'm proud of the man you have become." None of my relationships worked out, they were all short-lived. It was unfair of me, but I couldn't help the comparison with Heero and they all paled when I held them to that standard. I wasn't so much referring to the actual relationship I had had with Heero - which, admittedly, wasn't all that great in hindsight - nor did I think of Heero as this saintly image of perfection that made them all look bad in comparison, because I didn't; Heero had his flaws like everyone else and he wasn't the only beautiful guy in the world, or in my life even. No, I compared what I felt for them with what I felt for Heero and that was where the new relationships kept failing. Heero wasn't perfect and our relationship wasn't perfect, but what I felt for him was absolute perfection and I hadn't yet been able to replace that feeling and I couldn't forget about it either. It was the start of my Junior year, over a year since I moved out of the apartment and last saw Heero, when the doorbell rang and my father yelled at me: "Make yourself useful and open the door, will you?" I swung my legs over the edge of the couch, pausing the television, and on my white tennis socks I shuffled to the front door. "Yeah yeah yeah." I was prepared to open the door to the delivery man and accept a box of drone-parts on my father's behalf, but when I opened the door it dawned on me that I as wholly unprepared for the situation I was thrust into. "Heero..." He cocked his head to the side and smiled brightly as if he couldn't help himself. He looked even better than I remembered - better than I had fantasized. His chocolate bangs framed his face and fell across his forehead, but they did not detract from the light that shone brightly in his cobalt blue eyes. He had a laptop-bag slung over his shoulder and he wore a dark blue button-up shirt with a company logo on both sleeves and he even had a tag pinned on the front of his shirt that spelled his name as 'H I R O'. I blushed when I noticed he was giving me a once-over as well and I must have looked horrible in my sweats and oversized shirt with a goddamn ketchup stain on the front! I had imagined that moment many times over the past year but I never looked like that! Talkative as I was, at times like that my words always failed me. At times like that I normally said stupid things like 'You're the tallest Asian I've ever seen'. I didn't want to say anything stupid, so after a drawn-out mental struggle, I ended up not saying anything, not even a greeting. I demonstratively closed my mouth which had been agape. His smile widened. "Hi." Nothing. "You look good." That is a lie, but thank you for being nice. Still nothing. He adjusted the strap on his shoulder. "Your dad called me. He said he was having trouble installing his new laptop." New? He bought that things months ago. "Oh." I couldn't do much more than quirk an eyebrow. "I actually started working again for that home-tech company," He explained, recognizing the unspoken question in my eyes. "It doesn't pay as much as... porn," He whispered that last word, "But it's for the better." The first sentence was formed and I was blunt when I said: "You broke up with WuFei." "Yeah. A long time ago." He frowned. "How did you know?" "I- Jovan told me." "Who?" "The guy from our double-date." "Oh." His eyes shifted. He reached for the strap on his shoulder again and I recognized the movement as a manifestation of his nerves which he otherwise hid brilliantly. "Are you seeing him?" Something fluttered in my chest at the possibility that he could still be jealous. "No. I ran into him last year at a Jazz festival." "You hate Jazz." I smiled at the fact that he remembered. "I do, but the course was mandatory..." I chewed on the inside of my cheek. What the fuck? Why are we talking about Jazz? Jazz?! Suddenly my father appeared next to me, after having managed to sneak up behind me. "Heero!" He exclaimed, "I'm glad you're here. Come help me. I think there is a virus on my laptop or something." With a sheepish smile Heero walked into the house, side-stepping me and he followed my father to the study in the back of the house. I remained in the doorway, rushing to gather my thoughts. Once the storm in my mind had calmed, I thought to run upstairs and change into more presentable clothes. Dressed in jeans and a clean sweater I went back downstairs and idled in the living room, waiting for them to finish. When I heard my father make some kind of victorious sound, I knew they were about done and it had taken all of ten minutes. I straightened my clothes and pretended to run into them in the hallway by accident. "Done already?" "It was easy to fix." My father interjected: "You two boys talk, there are some new rotors on Ebay and I'll be damned if someone outbids me!" He hurried away, back into the study. "What was the problem with the laptop?" "There wasn't really a problem. Every time the laptop was booted up it also started running a number of programs in the background. It's a pretty simple processor so it couldn't handle all those programs starting-up at once, so it kept freezing up and giving error messages. It was really a simple matter of changing the settings. I ran a virus- and malware scan and there was nothing out of the ordinary." "Wow, I didn't even know he was such a troglodyte that he would have to call tech-support for something like that..." I rubbed the back of my neck. A crazy thought popped up: Did my father set this up so Heero and I would meet again? Heero smiled at me. "Your dad is nothing like how I remembered him." I shrugged and pursed my lips to hide the smirk that threatened to appear. "I didn't expect you to be here," He said. "I didn't think you would ever come back to this place. You said some pretty harsh things about your dad." "And I meant them. But I've changed and I see now that so has he. It's hard work but... It's good." He nodded and looked around. "It must have been weird for you, first coming back here." "Is it weird for you?" I wondered, remembering that when he was in this house last it was the home of his tormentors; me and my brother. Those Thanksgivings must have been very painful for him. "Yeah... a little." He bit his bottom lip. "Mostly it's weird seeing you here. It reminds me that you were the person I used to hate and fear so much. I had almost forgotten." I swallowed audibly and felt wrought with guilt, even though there had been no malice in his tone of voice. "I'm sorry." "That's okay. I don't mind remembering. It makes me realize how much things can change for the better, even when you least expect it." His smile was bright and honest. I stared at him and felt myself sway back and forth, nearly leaning into him. I caught myself and steadied my balance. After awkwardly clearing my throat, I wondered: "Where have you been? I came by the apartment a while back, but you weren't there." "When WuFei and I broke up I didn't have anyone to make videos with and then, when I went back to the solo stuff, I realized that I didn't want to do it anymore. It didn't feel right anymore," He smirked at me. "Anyway, without that gig, I couldn't afford it. But I have a new place now, I make my living the honest way," He pointedly looked down at his uniform, "I mean, I have to share it with two roommates, but you know I enjoy a good three-way." He chuckled and hurried to explain: "It's just a joke, we're not... you know?" I smiled at him, at his endearing awkwardness. "I'm sorry about you and WuFei." "Yeah," He looked at his feet. "It was only a matter of time. I think we always worked better as friends, as opposed to boyfriends, seeing as we have a lot in common but we don't excite each other." "Are you still friends?" "We have movie nights. Not every week, but we try to do it at least once a month. You're free to join us next time if you want." "I would really like that." "I'll give you a call. WuFei lives with his new boyfriend, Treize. You'll like him." He winked. "Oh. Okay." I scratched the back of my neck. My mouth was burning with a question I didn't dare to ask; if Heero was also seeing someone new. Heero then glanced down at his watch. "I should go. I still have four other 'troglodytes' to save today." "Yeah, uh, okay," His abrupt announcement of his departure threw me off a little, I thought it was going well and it seemed like he was getting a little flirty with me, but maybe I read the signs wrong. I walked him to the front door and held it open for him, even though all I wanted to do was shut it, press him up against it and kiss him. He stepped over the threshold and once on the porch he pivoted on his heels. "Would-" He chuckled at himself. "Would you like to go on a date sometime?" I wasn't wrong... I leaned against the doorpost with a smirk, pretending to be cool and casual, hoping he wouldn't see my heart pounding right out of my ribcage as if I were a cartoon character. "The two of us, or would someone else be joining us?" "Three is a crowd," He replied with a shake of his head and he promised: "Just us." Just us. THE END I'm glad that readers seemed to agree (based on the previous reviews) that the story shouldn't have ended with Heero, Duo and WuFei getting back together as a threesome. I was a little worried people would want that outcome, but I hope I made it clear why I feel that wouldn't work and I hope I satisfied readers with this conclusion to the story. I would love it if you would share your final thoughts on the story with me. Thank you very much for reading :)
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