"The Neon Spectrum"

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not profit.

Rating:

Warnings: Angst! Drama! Hurt/Comfort elements! Language! Sexual confusion/identity crisis! Gender identity crisis! Homophobia! Transphobia! Violence (non-explicit)! SEX (explicit)! Minor Dom/Sub Dynamic (honestly so mild it might not even be worth mentioning)!

Pairings: 2x1, 3x4

Summary: Duo finds out life isn't black and white when he realizes he's in love with his gay roommate. But Heero has no interest in dating a 'straight' man while he struggles with his own identity.

AN: This story explores the sexuality spectrum as well as the gender spectrum. That means this story includes a Gender-Bending/Genderqueer/Gender-Fluid/Non-Binary Gender Identity character (read: feminization and crossdressing). If that is not something you are open to, please skip this story.

If you decide to read this story, please remember that the featured characters are individuals and are not written to represent an entire group of people. I'm not making any statements on what it means to be queer or gender queer. Neither sexuality nor gender identity can be generalized across people – it's different for everyone – and this story is about the experiences of two individuals. I don't mean any disrespect, to anyone, and I hope I've handled the subject with the sensitivity that it deserves.

Beta: Shima Yi (Thanks so much for doing this!)

"The Neon Spectrum"

Chapter NINE -Baby Girl

Hilde smiled at Duo a lot that evening; he was relieved that she forgave his neglectfulness. He had taken her to her favorite restaurant, and even brought her a bouquet of the kind of flowers that he knew she liked: "Chrysantesomethings," he told the florist - it was close enough because she knew what he meant. More importantly, he hadn't talked about Heero all night. It was very challenging not to, but it wasn't fair to Hilde to not give her his undivided attention and show nothing but disinterest in her life because he couldn't shut up about himself, and the person he was hopelessly in love with.

She caught him up about recent developments in her job, a cute co-worker she had her eye on, and shared funny anecdotes from the weekend she spent with her parents upstate to celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary. She looked as beautiful as she always did: every hair in place, bronze make-up with a dark lip color, and another dress that was made to "make the boys look". Duo certainly looked and she liked that. She talked a lot with her hands, more animated than usual. When her glittery nail polish caught the light, Duo was distracted for a moment as he wondered if it was a color Heero would like.

He was still searching for a better birthday present to give him; his birthday was only another month away. Then he wondered if it would be insensitive to give him something feminine if he happened to be near the male end of the spectrum at that time - how was Duo supposed to prepare for that? He berated himself for not paying attention to his friend again and refocused on Hilde.

Following the conclusion of another humorous story about the oddities of her family, Hilde finished her glass of wine and a waiter instantly appeared to top off her glass again.

"Hey hey hey," Duo chastised lightly, "take it easy, sir. Don't think I didn't notice the price on that glorified grape juice."

Hilde laughed but kicked his shins under the table anyway. She shot the waiter a sweet look and thanked him before he walked away to serve other guests. "Don't make me feel guilty about enjoying this, Duo," she said. "If you can't afford this place, you shouldn't have taken me here."

"I can afford it, I was just joking," he assured her, which was weird. Normally she was in tune with his humor. The evening had been nice, but he felt like she had been missing her cue all throughout dinner. He hadn't made her snort-laugh even once and he didn't understand why; she was clearly having a good time, and she wasn't angry with him anymore.

"It's really nice of you. Thank you," she repeated for the umpteenth time that evening, being a little too polite for Duo's liking. He didn't feel confident enough to call her out on her odd behavior. He didn't want to cause friction between them anew. "So~o," she started, pausing to savor her last bite of filet mignon. "Did you take my advice? Did you move on?" She didn't look up from her plate.

Duo stiffened in his seat. "We don't have to talk about me." What he meant was: we don't have to talk about Heero. Once he'd start, he wasn't sure if he could make himself shut up again.

"Duo, come on. I'm sorry I snapped at you last time; I was just sick of it. I didn't mean I just wanted you to be quiet and be my audience. We're friends - we're supposed to share our lives." She encouraged: "Tell me what's new."

"Uhm... I- uh... I don't know. It's hard to say."

She rolled her eyes at his reluctance.

Giving in, he blurted: "I guess we're dating now. Kinda. Sorta." He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Hilde chuckled coyly and took a sip of wine. "Maybe." Then she froze and her brows pinched together in a frown. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged; it was hard to explain, hard to quantify. It was just a feeling he had. "We haven't gone on an official date - or out at all, in fact - but we're closer now. We're definitely more than roommates, and more than friends."

She put the glass down and chewed on the inside of her cheek. "You and Heero."

"Yeah." He felt guilty when he noticed the hurt expression on her face, but he didn't understand why she was getting upset - she did just give him permission to talk about Heero, right?

Hilde flashed a smile. "'Closer' how?" She inquired.

"For starters, we've been having sex," Duo replied; he hoped his bluntness in the fancy restaurant would prompt the trademark chortle out of her, but her expression was indifferent. "And sometimes we just make out. We'll be sitting on the couch - and he's been sitting really close to me lately, always leaning against me - and he'll start touching me and kissing me. Without the goal of sex, or anything; it's just sweet and..." A bright smile appeared on Duo's face as he let himself get lost in the memory of last Saturday. "I don't have much experience with relationships," he eventually continued in the silence that Hilde had allowed to stretch, "but it feels like we're a couple."

After some more silence on her behalf, she wondered: "But what about 'the secret'?"

"Oh, it's fine." He took his last bite and washed it down with wine. "Honestly, it's not even a big deal in my opinion. I was expecting something awful, but it isn't that at all. Not to me, at least."

She snapped her head up at him. "What are you talking about? You know what it is? You know the secret?"

He grinned at her shocked tone. "Yeah."

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed, then shot apologetic looks to the guests at the surrounding tables whose quiet dinners she had disturbed. She leaned in closer and for the first time that evening; she truly felt like his old friend again - the friend that liked to gossip. "Tell me. What is it?"

Duo shook his head. "I don't think I can tell you."

She looked offended. "Why not?"

"Because it's Heero's secret. It's not mine to tell."

"What would it matter? I hardly even know him and we have completely different social circles - besides, as if I would ever tell anyone anything that you've told me in confidence."

Duo quirked an eyebrow at her.

"I wouldn't!" Hilde insisted, too loud again for the quiet restaurant; her shrill voice cut through the indiscriminate murmur of the other guests.

"I don't know... it's personal."

"Yeah, but you just told me it isn't even anything bad."

"Well, not exactly. I said I didn't think it was anything bad. But some people do. Some people would use it against him."

"Do you think I'm one of those people?"

Duo sighed. "Of course not." Hilde was open-minded and a true woman of the twenty-first century - nothing fazed her. Hell, she was the one who pointed out to him that he might not be as straight as he always thought!

"Don't you trust me?"

She had him backed up against a wall, with the way she was blinking at him with big, innocent eyes. "He's not... fully male," He finally said, and his face contorted. It didn't feel right telling her that, in spite of the fact that she was one of his closest friends, but it was hard to keep a secret from her when she was pressing him. He suddenly had a lot more sympathy and respect for Quatre; Duo gave him a hard time, but he still protected Heero's secret, no matter what.

"What does that even mean?"

"Let's just drop it, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Like, he likes to dress up as a chick, or something? Like a drag queen?"

Duo wasn't going to say any more about the subject, but her comment rubbed him the wrong way; he felt like he needed to defend Heero against her rude misunderstanding. "No, it's not like that. He doesn't identify as either of the binary genders."

Hilde frowned. "What? Binary-... Huh?"

Alright, maybe not quite as "twenty-first century" as I thought... "He doesn't identify as male or female, but rather, everything in-between."

Her confusion was not resolved. "What's between male and female? Is he intersex?"

Frustrated, Duo explained: "No. His sex is male. But gender and sex aren't the same thing. Gender is a spectrum and his gender identity kind of floats along that spectrum."

She raised her eyebrows and sat back. "Holy shit. That's weird."

"Don't be like that," he warned. If she said anything worse, he knew he'd get mad at her and he didn't want to have to resort to that. "He still hasn't totally figured himself out yet and it's hard on him, but he's handling it and now that I know, I can help him; I can be there for him."

"And you're totally fine with that? That sounds pretty intense to live with. Wouldn't that put a strain and-... a burden on both of you? You don't think that's a big deal?" Her eyebrows pinched into a frown.

"No. I'm on a spectrum myself. I'm not fully straight, nor am I fully gay, I can be attracted to either sex and either gender. I guess 'pansexual' is the word, but I don't really feel like labeling myself." Duo shrugged. "So, why would it be an issue for me?"

Hilde looked like she had something to say, but decided not to because she knew it would press the wrong buttons; she simply said: "Okay. That's cool."

"What? Spit it out," Duo demanded, leaning back in his seat.

"I'm just worried for you. That's all," she answered honestly, although Duo got the sense that she was still holding back. "You might disagree, but I think it's a big deal. I worry that you don't fully know what you're getting yourself into."

Duo knew Heero shared her concerns, but he wished they would both trust him to know what he did and didn't want, and what he could and couldn't handle. He wanted Heero and he knew he could handle this - even though it could get challenging at times. "You don't have to worry about me. I got this."

She cast her gaze down into her glass of wine, clearly unconvinced.

With the way she was reacting - completely unlike he expected her to - he regretted telling her all the more and stressed: "You can't tell anyone."

Hilde snorted. "Give me some credit, okay? Of course I won't tell anyone. I can't even if I want to," she went on with a joking tone. "What was the word? 'Binary'? Fuck, this feels like math. Can't explain math to anyone either."

Duo smiled, put at ease by her making light of it, like he had initially expected she would.

"So, do you think Heero is in love with you too?" She continued curiously.

"No." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, but then added with a hopeful tone and a silly smile: "Not yet."

She nodded, but didn't smile back at him.

"Do you mind if I host girl's night here tonight?" Heero asked offhandedly when he walked into the kitchen one morning.

Duo thought for a moment. It was a Friday so it was no threat to their treasured pizza-night, which meant he had no objections. "Not at all." He didn't even look up from his phone and continued scrolling through the news feed, catching up on everything that had gone wrong on the other side of the world while he slept. Ooohh, a cat video!

Noting the delay in his answer, Heero wondered: "You sure?"

Duo pocketed his phone when the cat video looped for the third time - it hadn't been that funny. "As long as you promise not to go out and get yourself in trouble tonight."

Heero smirked suggestively. "Not tonight, Daddy. I promise," he purred.

Duo grinned; the nickname was odd, but didn't make him feel weird like he thought it might. "Do you want me to make myself scarce, or-?"

"It's your place too, Duo. I'm not implying that I want to get rid of you for the evening. I'm asking because I we won't do it here if it's weird for you."

"Why would it be weird?"

Heero smiled.

"Might not get home until late anyway, come to think of it. I'd best make use of the last of the good weather." It was a temperate climate, and the winters were mild but rainy; riding his motorcycle in the rain was no fun.

Heero knew what he meant. "Okay. If the weather holds up, maybe I can ride along with you next time?"

Duo blinked at him and then an exaggerated smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. "You'd like that?"

"If you would, yeah."

"I'd love it!" Even though that one night when he picked Heero up at the bus stop had been horrible, Duo did like the way it felt having Heero's arms wrapped tightly around him and his chest pressed against his back. "Is there, like, a moment or timeframe that would suit you best?" He asked, dancing around the real question in an attempt to be respectful and hide his ignorance.

Heero's smile was kind and understanding. "I'll like it regardless of whether I'll feel boyish, or girly."

"Okay. Sometime next week, then? We'll do it after work one day - I'll take you to that diner that I once told you about."

"The one with 'the best curly fries in the world'?" The other wondered with an exaggerated tone.

"That's the one."

"Great."

Duo nodded and it felt like they had just agreed to a date - their first, official date. Instantly, he was giddy with excitement. He stared into the pretty blue eyes for as long as he could before he'd be late for work. They said their goodbyes and Duo was about to lean in for a kiss, but he stopped himself. Heero was always the one to initiate and it was safer that way.

He had a good day at the shop - he didn't have a run-in with Jamie - and he was looking forward to his road trip in the evening. More importantly, his general mood was elevated by the prospect of his relationship with Heero finally going somewhere. If only he could think of the perfect birthday present - as if that would be the way to convince Heero that he was the right guy for him after all.

During his lunch break he occupied himself by scrolling through his different social media feeds and texting back and forth with Quatre, unsubtly fishing for an invitation to dinner at their place: he asked about their plans for the evening, and what their private chef would be serving. Once arrangements for dinner were made, he went back to work.

Hungry after a long day and not wanting to make Quatre and Trowa wait for him, he took the quick route to the remote mansion: following the interstate most of the way before he had to cut through the forest on smaller, winding roads. The sky was gray, but he checked the weather forecast on his phone before leaving; the clouds were supposed to clear away without any rainfall.

"Oh, God, you came on your crotch rocket," Quatre said by way of greeting, his tone laced with dismay. He held the door open, allowing Duo to step inside, but he kept glaring at the motorcycle parked in his driveway.

Duo smirked at him and ruffled his own hair, since the helmet usually flattened in a very unflattering way. He put the black helmet on the bench in the foyer; the inner linings of it once smelled like Heero's delicate perfume - from when he wore it that one night - but the scent had faded regrettably. He shook off his leather jacket and toed off his clunky boots as well. He rolled up his greasy jeans at the ankles and Quatre routinely warned him not to sit on any of the white furniture.

"Duo, good evening," said Trowa. He sat elegantly in the sofa by the lit fireplace, his legs crossed, an open book balanced in his palm. He was a vision of sophistication; the scene reminded Duo of classic Hollywood movies.

"He came here on his crotch rocket," Quatre informed him and Duo laughed at his use of the crude word again. Trowa raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know what you have against my motorcycle. She's done nothing wrong."

"That thing scares me, you know it does. Especially driving down here - those forest roads get so muddy."

Duo shook his head and glibly replied: "Heero isn't scared. Not even when he's a girl." Both Quatre and Trowa were a little taken aback by the ease with which Duo brought up the 'big gender-struggle', as if it was insignificant and inconsequential. "You're just a wuss, Quat," he continued and sat down on the dark brown, leather sofa across from Trowa.

"He is," the taller one agreed and shot his partner a cheeky look.

"Heero is coming along with me for a ride next week. If it doesn't rain," Duo crossed his fingers, hoping it wouldn't.

"You're in a chipper mood," Quatre observed. "And you're basically gloating. I take it things are still good between you and Heero?" He seated himself on the armrest, close to his lover.

"Very good," Duo answered and his lips spread into a smile.

"People always ask me for advice, but they never take my advice," Quatre muttered exasperatedly. "I tell Heero it's a bad idea; I tell Duo it's a bad idea... But what do they do?" He shook his head at them. He had warned Duo - and Heero - several times that the time was inopportune for them to try and have a relationship, with Heero only just starting to figure himself out.

Duo was about to defend himself, but a dramatic eye-roll from the blonde clued him in that he wasn't being too serious and was just poking fun at them. Duo lit up at the possibility that perhaps even Quatre was starting to support the idea of the two friends getting together.

After a pleasant dinner, the weather forecast turned out to be correct. It was dark outside, but the sky was clear and there was no wind. Duo stepped into his boots and slipped his jacket back on. He toured for nearly two hours and got lost a couple of times on the back roads. He enjoyed swerving left and right along the windings roads, bouncing and vibrating on the uneven surface; when he was done with that, he sought after the thrill of the highway, speeding North and South a handful of times, as if it were a race track. The engine roared beautifully as he opened up the throttle. He had been improving and customizing his current bike for the past five years, and he was starting to feel like she was done; that made him a little sad. He toyed with the idea of using his savings to buy a new fixer-upper, but to be able to finance the product, he'd have to sell his baby - he couldn't imagine being able to part with her, now that she was perfect.

It was ten thirty when Duo arrived back at the apartment building; he had stored his motor cycle at the shop and leisurely walked home. He texted Heero along the way, to give him a head's up that he was about to come home, just to be sure.

The only reply he got was: Be warned. The nail polish fumes are toxic. Followed by a string of emoji's.

Duo knew Heero not to be the emoji-type, so the array of silly, yellow faces implied he'd find their little wine rack raided. He made a mental note to add wine to the grocery lost for the next day, in preparation of pizza night. He heard the laughter first, as he still stood on the other side of the door. After purposefully jingling his keys, he unlocked the door; he smelled the nail polish second. "Toxic" was not an exaggeration, but he downplayed his reaction.

He poked his head around the door and peeked into the living room. "Hello everyone," he said, gauging their reactions before he stepped further into his own apartment.

Nicole, Heero and Drew were seated on the couch, while Annessa was on a pillow on the floor, on the opposite side of the coffee table. The table was littered with wine glasses, three bottles of wine, countless bottles of nail polish, empty snack bowls, make-up, and black and white cards that Duo recognized as their "Cards Against Humanity" game. Nicole mock-gasped at Duo's entry and made a show of trying to cover herself up before she burst out laughing, very much drunk beyond inhibitions. Heero and Drew joined her in laughter, while Annessa - being the flirt that she was, if Heero's stories were any indication - wiggled her fingers at Duo in a coy greeting.

They were all dressed in revealing night wear of silk and lace, but Duo paid no attention to anyone other than his roommate; he was wearing a set similar to the one he had worn before, when he crawled into Duo's bed that one, particularly horrible Saturday night - the previous girls' night. This set was a dark burgundy color that looked nice against his warm skin tone. He sat on the seat of the couch, with his legs folded underneath him. The shorts hiked up his thigh, the fabric of the top had pooled in his lap, the lacy hem dipped low on his chest and one of the straps was close to slipping off of his shoulder. His eyes were smoldering with dark make-up that they experimented with; his bangs were pulled back and held in place by a black headband, and he wore a matching, velvety choker around his neck.

Duo didn't miss a beat though, when he noticed the hint of uncertainty in Heero's eyes. He stopped his staring and walked in, as casual as you please, kicking the door shut behind him. He stripped himself of his jacket with his back turned to them and one of them catcalled - Nicole or Annessa, he couldn't tell. He faced the group again and took a few steps towards them, wanting to show that he wasn't uncomfortable or weirded out. "Are you drunk or high on the fumes?"

"A potent mixture of both," replied Drew; her voice was deep. She winked at him.

Duo smiled in return. "Are we out of wine?"

"Probably," said Heero, loosening up in his presence.

"Do you need me to run by the seven-eleven and stock up?"

"That's sweet, but I think we've had enough."

"Alright." He shrugged. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder and said: "I'm just gonna grab a beer and I'll be outta your way."

"You can join us if you like," Annessa offered; she ignored Heero's jealous glare at her shamelessly suggestive tone.

"Nah. It's girls' night. I'd be the odd one out," Duo replied and noticed both Heero and Drew smiling warmly at his response, feeling validated in their gender identity. He grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, like he said he would, and headed for his bedroom. Walking past them, he waved halfhearted and joked: "If it goes quiet, I'll send the HAZMAT team." A chorus of giggles rewarded him for his humor.

Duo was standing in front of his bedroom door, halfway down the hallway and out of sight from the main area of the living room, when Heero called after him. He waited and soon Heero appeared, walking towards him barefoot, his long legs a wonderful sight. Heero didn't stop until their chests were barely an inch apart; he raised himself up on the tips of his toes and planted the sweetest kiss on Duo's lips. He then lowered himself back down and pulled at his full, bottom lip with his teeth in a hesitant gesture. His gaze averted Duo's for a moment.

The American smiled at him, perplexed by the unexpected, domestic kiss that warmed his heart. "What was that for?" He wondered softly.

Heero looked back at him and the corners of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. "Welcome home," he said, after a moment of contemplation.

Catching on that he was hiding something, Duo dipped his head down; his nose nearly touched Heero's. "Is that really what you came all the way over here to say?"

Heero shook his head and he was such a cute sight: he bounced up on the balls of his feet, and almost kissed Duo again instead of elaborating in response to the other's question. He planted his heels back down on the floor, distancing their lips - as far as Duo would allow. "I wanted to say..." He paused and studied Duo's face, as if he was searching for a reason not to say what he really wanted to. He couldn't find any, and the smallest smile graced his lips. He whispered: "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Duo stared. His heart stopped, or so it seemed. He waited and waited, then there it was again - a heartbeat - delayed, but stronger than ever. For a split second, he worried if Heero was just that drunk, but his blue eyes were clear and shone with warmth, honesty and vulnerability. He clasped his hand around the back of the other's neck and pulled him forward, crashing their lips together in a desperate kiss. The other arm snaked around the slim waist, pressing his smaller body tightly to his. At first Heero chuckled into the kiss, endeared by Duo's elated and grateful reaction, but soon he got swept up in the intensity of the kiss and their lips and tongues moved together with passion.

In the living room the three other girls laughed at something, but Heero nor Duo paid them any attention, getting lost in one another. Duo poured everything of the past year into the kiss, and Heero seemed to understand how much his words meant to him - how much he needed to hear them. They parted with a gasp, and Duo buried his nose into the warm skin of Heero's neck. He switched one hand to Heero's shoulders, and moved the arm around his waist down below the swell of his behind and he lifted him up effortlessly; the small body was lightweight and besides, Duo felt stronger than ever.

"Thank you," he whispered in his love's ear. Heero tightened his arms around Duo and let him hold him, his feet dangling as he was raised about a foot off the floor. Duo moaned as hot lips pressed kisses against the side of his neck; Heero's hands found his braid and held onto it as if he was holding on for dear life. "Are the girls spending the night?"

"Not anymore," Heero muttered, drawing a chuckle from the American.

Duo hummed against the warm skin and breathed in his scent greedily. "You smell so good." It was the same light, floral perfume that had lingered in his helmet.

"And you stink." Heero patted his back, indicating that he wanted to be put down. "Go take a shower," he said, once he was firmly placed on the floor again and there was some distance between them. "I'll round up the flock and get them an Uber."

Duo smirked. "Yes, ma'am."

"Ma'am?"

Duo's face went hot and red. Was that wrong? He was mortified.

Heero quickly put him at ease. "I'm not old enough to be a 'ma'am'." He put his hands on his hips.

"Sorry. Miss," he amended.

"That's better." Heero pivoted on his heels and joined the other girls in the living room again.

Duo did as instructed and took a shower. There was no avoiding washing his hair, but he figured he had some time until their guests got dressed and were able to leave them alone. Even under the loud spray of the water, he could hear their fits of giggles and catcalls; it appeared that the three of them were very much aware of why they were being kicked out. He made a dapper effort with the blow dryer for about fifteen minutes before giving up. The thick hair was still damp, but not to the point that it would soak the sheets, so he could deal with it. When he pulled the plug out and silenced the blow dryer, he noticed the quiet in the rest of the apartment and realized it was just him and Heero left. He made haste braiding his hair and putting on a pair of sweatpants - nothing else.

Duo snuck into the living room where his roommate was making a halfhearted attempt at cleaning up some of the mess. "That can wait until morning," he said, his tone purposefully husky.

Heero straightened up and flashed him a grin. "I suppose you're right." He put the stack of bowls back down on the coffee table, not even bothering to walk them over to the sink. He stalked towards Duo and let his hungry gaze move up and down the muscular body in front of him. When he was close enough he let a hand trail down from Duo's shoulder to the elastic waistband of his sweatpants, and flicked the pull-string that held it tied around his hips. "Wait for me in your bedroom? I need a minute."

Duo would never deny Heero anything. He nodded and went into his bedroom, but not before kissing that sweet mouth - like making him a promise. He made himself comfortable on the bed, sitting back against the headboard. He then had the forethought to push the sheets down to the foot of the bed first, so they wouldn't be on top of them and he could pull them up later to cover them. He also prepared the condoms and the lube, placing the items under his pillow where they would be easy to grab. It looked grotesque simply leaving them out on his nightstand.

About ten minutes later Heero joined him in his room. The movements of his body were elegant and sultry. He flicked the light switch of the overhead lamp, leaving the room bathed in only the orange glow from the small lamp on Duo's bedside table. Duo didn't know what Heero did that had taken ten minutes. He was still wearing the same clothes, the choker and the eye make-up; the only discernible difference was that he freed his wild hair from the headband. Heero crawled onto the bed and on top of Duo, seating sideways in his lap. Duo put his left arm around Heero's waist and placed his right hand on one of the bent knees. The weight on his lap felt nice, reassuring. He angled his head up, waiting to be kissed and content simply watching his beautiful face.

"You're so pretty," the words escaped him in a breath. He caressed his hand a little further up the smooth thigh. He stopped himself before his hand touched his groin; instead, he lifted it and ran his knuckles along Heero's jawline, appreciating his delicate features. "You're perfect."

"I am not," Heero argued with a soft but serious tone.

Maybe that was true, but another thing was also true: "You are to me." Duo stroked along the bottom lip and some of the subtly glittering lip-gloss was transferred to his thumb. "God, these lips..." he extolled.

Heero leaned closer, letting his forehead rest against Duo's. "Kiss me..."

Their mouths merged together. The kiss started out slow, only letting their lips touch and move together, without the intimate entwining of their tongues. Duo relocated his hand again, slipping it between the creamy thighs pressed together, but not close to the telling bulge in Heero's lap; he wasn't hard yet, but the manly shape of his body could not be hidden by the thin, silky fabric of the shorts.

The thighs clamped shut, holding his hand in place, and Heero inhaled sharply before deepening the kiss. He fisted one hand into the hair under the base of Duo's braid, and the other he ran up and down Duo's arm, from his shoulder, to his elbow, to where his hand disappeared between his legs. Duo was painfully hard - his erection was trapped under Heero's body - but for the time being, he was too absorbed in the kiss to even think to move.

The younger one removed his hand from Duo's arm and pressed his hand into his own groin, trying to hold down and hide his arousal. The American shifted their position: he rolled them over until Heero lay on his back, and Duo was half next to him, half on top of him. Their lips never separated. Two small hands explored Duo's naked torso, the pads of the fingers digging into the muscles. He ground his pelvis against Heero's hips, relieved to have his weight off him - however light he was - and the friction through the thin material of his sweats was wonderful. One of his hands cupped the back of Heero's head, tilting and angling him as he took control of the kiss, and ravished the pliant mouth. His other hand was free to wander. Heero's legs were slightly bent at the knee and parted; Duo dragged his coarse knuckles along the inner thigh, taking care to stop before he touched the most intimate parts of him, even though he was dying to feel him in his hand - to feel his tangible need and desire.

Duo moved to lay his hand on the other's belly, but as he swung his arm up, he grazed past the erection that tented the silky shorts and nearly peeked out of it. Heero groaned in response to the touch, but it wasn't a pleasant sound. His lips pressed into a taut line and for a few seconds, he wouldn't open his mouth for Duo's tongue that was begging for entry. Duo wasn't sure what to do, but he assumed pausing and making a big deal about it - regardless of his best intentions - would only make his lover more self-conscious. He slipped his hand under the top, letting his fingers ghost across the smooth plain of his abdomen. The touch was so light it was nearly ticklish, and Heero arched into it, seeking stronger contact. With a gasp, Heero's mouth opened and welcomed Duo's tongue again. Feeling encouraged, Duo inched his hand up, perfectly in tune with the other's body language, and he could tell that more intimate ministrations were desired; he flicked his thumb against one of the hard nipples, and Heero's back arched off the bed again like an electric current passed through him.

Duo chuckled against his lips and whispered: "Feel good, baby?"

"Hmhm." The demanding hand on the back of Duo's neck made it apparent that Heero did not wish for him to stop his assault on his mouth for the purpose of speaking. Getting the hint, Duo continued to kiss him and drink the small, favorable sounds. His thumb rolled over the nipple for a while before he pinched it between his fingers and tugged at it. Heero squirmed and bucked his hips, perhaps finding some sort of friction in his shorts that alleviated the ache in his manhood that Duo was very familiar with.

"Can I take your top off?"

Heero nodded eagerly, not even his discomfort at the disparities between what he felt like and what his body looked like could stop him from agreeing. Duo smiled gently and sat up to help Heero out of his top. He let the supple fabric caress the skin as he pulled it away from him.

As soon as the top was discarded - it wasn't Chanel, so he hoped it was okay that he tossed it onto the floor next to the bed - he resumed his position at Heero's side, but rather than diving back into their kiss, he latched his mouth onto his throat and worked his lips down from there. He found the other nipple and suckled it into his mouth, lapped at it with his tongue and worried it between his teeth. His fingers kept the other nipple stimulated. Heero rubbed his knees together and twisted his hands into the pillow case above his head, in an effort to lay still and not disrupt the attention Duo paid to his body. Gasps and moans tumbled from his lips.

"I love how sensitive you are," the taller man whispered; his hot breath against the wet skin must have felt nice because Heero tossed his head back and just let out another sound of pleasure. "Your body is amazing."

"Nnn..."

Duo chuckled at him being unable to respond. With Heero's head tossed back onto the pillow and his eyes squeezed shut, Duo dared to let his own lusty gaze travel down his body - his exposed throat and the shadow that licked at his Adam's apple; the defined collarbones and the red hue on his neck and chest; one wet nipple that glistened in the orange light and the other dusky one, still pinched between his fingers - it was all glorious. Heero's stomach quivered and the lowest ribs showed through the skin with every sharp intake of breath. His erection had slipped out of his shorts, standing upright through the opening of his right leg. The crown was swollen and red and Duo wanted to lap up the white pearl of pre-come. His long, golden legs were restless; rubbing his knees together and moving his arched feet.

Before Heero could notice that he had been staring and get a chance to grow uncomfortable, Duo pushed up along his body again to kiss his mouth. "I want to take off my sweats - is that okay?"

"Yesss," Heero whined. "I want to touch you."

With some effort, he shimmied out of his sweatpants and kicked them off his legs - he didn't know where they landed. In the meantime, Heero tucked himself back into the flimsy shorts; Duo pretended not to notice. He wanted Heero to do whatever would make him feel most at ease. He could only imagine how hard it was being intimate with someone with a body that didn't feel like your own.

They lay next to each other, on their sides. Duo lay still, letting those blue eyes examine his exposed body. He smirked when Heero bit his lip in anticipation; the smirk quickly melted away when Heero enveloped his cock with his hand and stroked him lovingly - there was no other word that fit better.

"Fuck, yeah..." He ground out. Their lips found each other again.

Soon, the urgency he felt could no longer be denied. Duo pulled Heero closer to him and let his hand trail down his lover's spine until he encountered the elastic band of the shorts. He paused, and his fingers circled the small of his back, wordlessly asking Heero for permission. He supposed Heero tightening his hold on his length - drawing a shaky moan from him - was his answer, and he slipped his hand into the shorts.

His searching fingers stroked into the cleft between Heero's cheeks and he felt the wetness of excess lube. His middle finger rubbed against the opening and, acting on a hunch, he pushed the finger in to the first joint - the channel was relaxed, welcoming, and slick. Then Duo knew what Heero had been doing in the bathroom for ten minutes before joining him in the bedroom: he prepared himself - cleaning, stretching and applying a liberal amount of lube - because a "real woman" wouldn't need to be prepped.

Sadness tugged at Duo's heartstrings; he wanted to tell Heero that he didn't need to do that alone, in shame, but he didn't want to ruin the moment - it wouldn't make his lover feel better anyway - so he went a different route.

He inched his finger further into him and moaned as he explored the warm, slick sheath. "You're so wet, baby. You're so wet for me."

A deep moan escaped Heero. "I want you."

"You feel so good. You feel so ready."

Heero nodded.

"Take off your shorts." It was the first time he ordered him to do anything, but he did so purposefully. He wanted Heero to take off his shorts in a way he was comfortable with and position himself the way he wanted. They parted so Heero could get naked, and Duo applied a condom onto himself. He poured extra lube onto his cock as well, just to be sure. His lover laid down on his side, presenting his back to Duo. Although he would have preferred to make love face-to-face, he stood by what he always said: he would do and be anything for Heero.

Duo pressed himself up against him and positioned the head of his erection against the opening. "Is this what you want?" He applied more pressure and the ring of muscles started to stretch around him.

"Yeah."

In a single, smooth thrust he united them. Heero's body accommodated him easily and they both moaned as he slipped into him to the hilt. Duo wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck and shoulder. "You feel so good..." He moved his hips in a slow rhythm.

"Yeah?"

"Hmmm... So wet and warm." Duo wasn't really used to much dirty talk, but the words made him feel hot all over in the best way, and Heero certainly enjoyed the assurance as well. They moved slowly, enjoying the way their bodies fit together. For a long time, it wasn't about reaching a climax, but inevitably Duo felt himself get closer to that point, speeding up his thrusts to get more friction. He worried about how Heero was going to reach his orgasm. He wanted them to come together. "Do you want me to touch you, or do you want to touch yourself?"

Heero scrunched up his face, confused and unsure. "I don't know."

"Can you come off just my cock?"

"Probably. But not like this." Heero looked over his shoulder; his eyes were clouded, but the lust could not hide his vulnerable expression.

Duo knew what he meant; his heart skipped a beat. He pulled out of him and maneuvered their bodies until Heero was on his back and Duo was positioned between his legs. He never broke eye-contact. Heero wrapped his legs around his hips and his arms around his neck, pulling him closer. They locked lips, but their kiss became distracted when Duo pushed back into him and resumed their rhythm.

"Is this good?" He panted.

"You gotta sit up."

Duo did as instructed, straightening up. He hooked his hands under Heero's knees. He tried a few different angles with his hips, searching Heero's features for the best results. When his cock pushed past the prostate just right, it was readily apparent in the way the intimate muscles tightened around him and Heero's jaw dropped open in a soundless moan. He smirked at the reaction. The next time, Heero's response wasn't soundless.

"Nnn! Oh, that's it!"

He continued working his hips; sweat beaded on his forehead and trickled down his temples. He licked his lips. He had trouble not letting his gaze travel down Heero's body, and kept his eyes focused on the passionate dark blue. "Is that your sweet spot, baby?" Without a thought, he amended: "Is that your G spot?"

"Ahh!" Heero squeezed his eyes shut and his body went tighter still.

"Does my cock feel good in your pussy?" It was a bold thing to say, but his bravery was rewarded with another sharp moan and a single nod. "Ohh, yeah. Your pussy is all filled up with me." It was clear Heero was enjoying the fantasy, tossing his head back and clutching at the pillow case. He looked so beautiful, with his shapely eyebrows pinched together in pleasure, his dark hair fanned around his head and his parted lips glossy with saliva and what remained of his lip balm. "You're so pretty," Duo praised thoughtlessly. He wasn't trying to manipulate him, he meant every word he said. "You're my pretty girl."

"Ah! Fuck, oh God!" Heero arched his back off the bed. He was close but not close enough. His eyes flew open and that was when he caught Duo looking at his body - looking at the erection that danced with surges of blood flow, and leaked pre-come into a puddle on his tense stomach. He reached his hand down to cover himself, his cock twitching into his touch.

"You are perfect. Let me see you."

Heero bit his lip. He removed his hand, his finger grazing along the sensitive skin, making his balls draw up tight at the base of his erection. His blush was one of embarrassment.

"Don't be ashamed. Everything your body does is perfect, and exactly what I want." Duo let his greedy gaze appraise him, trusting that his expression conveyed how much he enjoyed the sight of his lover. He met Heero's eyes again. Heero was entranced, studying his face. "You see me looking at you, baby?"

He nodded.

"You see how much I enjoy looking at you?"

"Hmhm."

"I wish you could see what I see. One day, you will." Duo adjusted Heero's legs over his shoulders and placed a kiss on either calf. The movements of his hips continued and Heero's discomfort and self-awareness soon melted away. Duo grunted with each thrust, and Heero's moans became increasingly sharp, as they built towards a common goal.

"Oh! Duo!"

"Yeah, come on, baby-girl. Take us there," he purred.

Heero arched his back off the bed and clamped his muscles around Duo's manhood when he reached his orgasm. For the first time, he let out a loud cry in the midst of his ecstasy. His cock twitched and pulsed as he shot his release onto his stomach and chest. If the sight alone wasn't enough to take Duo with him to new heights, the grip Heero's body had on him would have done the trick as well. He was so tight Duo couldn't move, even if he wanted to.

His release had him seeing sparks and everything went black, but he fought to hold onto his consciousness. His breaths were harsh in the silence that followed. He managed to open his eyes. Heero's mouth was open to pant as well. His blue eyes were still shut. His hands - which had nearly ripped the pillow case - lay limp on either side of his head. His entire body was relaxed and supple in the aftermath of his powerful orgasm.

Duo pulled out carefully and wrapped the condom in a tissue from the drawer in his nightstand. Then he used more tissues to wipe up Heero's come, all the while whispering sweet nothings to him, comforting him on his way down from his high. He tossed the tissues onto the floor and bent forward to lick the last milky white droplet off his lover's neck.

When he pulled back again, hooded blue eyes stared at him. Duo smiled at him and kissed unresponsive lips; Heero was still too dazed. "Hey beautiful, welcome back. Where did you go?" He chuckled lightly. Duo lay down beside him - Heero's eyes didn't follow him, they stared up at the ceiling - and he rained kisses on his cheek and the shell of his ear. "How do you feel, baby-girl?"

Heero blinked at the pet name; he must've remembered that it was the nickname that pushed him over the edge moments ago. "I feel..." he started, but then needed a moment to find the right word. "I feel pretty." His voice sounded tired, but content and at peace.

Duo smiled and petted his hand through the wild, brown hair. "You are pretty. You are my pretty girl."

"Yeah," he agreed absentmindedly.

Duo continued to kiss his cheek. His heart swelled with happiness; he felt so grateful that he had been able to make Heero feel so good about himself. It went beyond sexual gratification. It went beyond an earth-shattering climax. He made him feel like himself - "mostly female" - during sex, and that was special to Heero, he could tell.

He stopped when he felt wetness against his lips and tasted saltiness. He pulled back and his heart sank at the sight of tears trickling down Heero's temples, but then noticed his eyes were still serene. He wiped the trails away but new tears kept falling. "Are these sad tears?" Duo wasn't sure.

Heero let out a small sob and then his lips curled into a smile, in spite of his tears. "No."

Duo kissed the smiling lips and then rolled Heero onto his side. He grabbed the sheets and pulled them up to cover them, and then nestled behind his lover, spooning against him and holding him tightly in his arms. He nuzzled his nose against the back of Heero's neck.

"Thank you," Heero mewled after a long silence.

"You're welcome."

The next day, Duo stood at the stove, baking eggs - sunny side up - when two arms locked around him and a small body pressed up against his back. He felt the tip of a sharp nose between his shoulder blades and a warm breath through the thin material of his shirt. "Good morning, sleepy," he greeted and covered the hands on his stomach with his own.

"Good morning," Heero mumbled into his clothes. "You cleaned up." Duo shot a look at the pristine living room; he had cleared away the mess the girls made the night before, while he let Heero sleep in. "Why didn't you wake me? It was my mess."

"You needed the rest. You were the one who drank too much wine yesterday, after all."

"Hmm, but you're the one who exerted himself most in bed." Duo smiled imagining the smirk Heero must have sported as he said that. "You looked so good, hovering over me. Holding yourself up with your thick arms. You're so broad and big."

"Are these compliments or are you trying to tell me I'm fat?" Duo jokingly asked.

"You're perfect," was Heero's reply, mirroring what Duo told him the night before.

"Hmmm... That's nice."

"Last night was perfect."

"I'm glad you think so too," he said smartly. There was a small sense of regret when Heero let go of him, but that was eased away when Heero tugged the elastic band free from the end of his hair - mentioning it was "all messy" - and he worked his fingers through the hair to unbraid it. Duo knew his usually sleek hair would be wavy because he had braided it the previous night while it was still damp. He enjoyed Heero running his fingers through, gently loosening a few knots, before he braided the hair anew.

"I love your hair," he said.

Duo smiled. "Thank you." He was kind of proud of his long tresses. All his life, people told him that he ought to cut it because he'd look more "normal" with regular, boyish hair; that had been exactly the reason why he rebelled against the norm and never heeded that advice. Duo had always been an outcast, growing up in Quatre's well-mannered family, getting thrown into a lifestyle he wasn't used to - like galas and boarding schools - and being surrounded by stuck-up people who thought they were better than him. If that was "normal", then Duo did not envy it and he did not identify with it. His hair was his way of showing that he didn't belong, and that he was not ashamed of that.

"Why did you grow it out this long?"

Duo told him the story, while Heero finished braiding his hair. He wanted to turn to face him, but he had a feeling Heero was purposefully hiding. The hands let go of his hair and massaged his back.

"What would you think if I grew out my hair?"

"I think you'd look great with hair at any length." He let out a hearty laugh when Heero slapped him at his proper - too proper - response. "I think I'd like that. Have you been thinking about it?"

"For years."

Duo frowned. "Why did you never try it?"

"I always thought I'd make it worse if I embraced that there was another side to me."

The American nodded, understanding what he meant.

"I thought that, if I could just hide that part of me - even from myself - it would go away; it would lose its power over me."

"But that didn't work," Duo surmised.

"No. Now, I think-... I think it's better to embrace it. It feels better. I feel less torn."

He nodded. He remarked with a humorous tone: "We could braid each other's hair." He hoped his joke wasn't inappropriate.

Heero chuckled. Finally, he came to stand beside Duo, revealing himself. He leaned the small of his back against the kitchen counter. His hair was still tousled but he had taken the time to clean the make-up off his face. When Duo woke up next to him about two hours earlier, he had smiled at the black raccoon circles under his eyes.

What made the American smile again was the realization that Heero was wearing one of Duo's shirts - which he last saw tossed over the back of the chair in his room, not quite dirty enough to warrant a tumble in the washer, but definitely close to it, after a day's wear. The shirt was far too big on him. The collar was lopsided and exposed one clavicle, and the bottom hem of the shirt skimmed the top of his thighs, like an obscenely short dress. He wondered if Heero was wearing any underwear.

Rather than spend the duration of breakfast wondering, he snaked a hand around him and fondled his ass. He felt the texture of lace through the thin cotton and flashed Heero a grin. "Can I see?" Heero turned around, more comfortable with showing his behind, and raised the shirt just enough to show off the edge of the navy-blue lace. "Wow. I like these." Duo cupped the smooth ass cheek and thumbed along the trim of the panties.

Heero pulled the shirt back down, pushing away Duo's hand in the process, and he shot a bashful look over his shoulder. "I'm hungry," he whined. "Take care of me?"

"Working on it," Duo said with a laugh and he lifted the eggs out of the pan and onto a plate, just in time as the toast popped out of the toaster.

"Timing."

"I'm going to pretend I planned it like that."

"And I'll continue to pretend I'm impressed."

"Ouch. Sassy little thing."

Heero stuck his tongue out at him and moved across the kitchen to the coffee machine. "Coffee?"

"Yes, thank you, dear."

The other smiled and retrieved two clean cups from the drying rack on the counter and prepared them their morning brew. Duo set their plates on the table and waited for Heero to join him. He made an appreciative sound when the cup of steaming hot coffee was placed in front of him and the strong smell hit him, already working to fully wake him up and energize him, even before the first sip.

They ate and talked about mundane things - the grocery list, among other things. Duo thought they were having an enjoyable time though, until Heero zoned out of the conversation and reached for his phone that had been on the table. He was further disappointed when his roommate said: "Is it okay if we skip pizza night tonight?"

Duo's crestfallen expression made his defeat obvious. His tone did as well as he replied with a shrug: "Sure, I guess."

Heero chuckled at his pathetic demeanor. He showed him his phone, revealing that he had been looking up the weather forecast for the day. "It's going to be sunny all day," he explained, watching Duo's face light up as the man realized where he was going with this. "I was thinking we could take that road trip today and eat at that diner?"

"Yeah!" Duo practically bounced in his seat. "Yeah, totally!"

"Okay!" Heero mirrored his enthusiasm. "What time should we leave?"

"Maybe four-ish? Make use of the daylight and take the scenic route; then we'll be there in time for an early dinner. That way we can head back before it gets too late - it gets a little chilly later in the evening."

"Sounds like a plan." Heero sipped on his coffee pensively. "What in the world am I going to wear?"

"Probably not a skirt," Duo deadpanned. Heero rolled his eyes. "Jeans are best; denim will protect your legs - short of actual leather motorcycle pants - if we fall."

"Do you think we're going to fall?" Heero sounded worried.

"No, no!" Duo waved his hand dismissively. "That's just something you always have to take into account. That's why we wear helmets too, just in case."

"Oh, okay. Any other tips?"

"No Chanel. Something warm and a leather jacket over the top."

"I could do that. But then I still don't know what to wear; I have, like, seven leather jackets."

Duo shook his head at him, bemused. "Of course you do."

They spent the rest of the day doing their own thing. Duo imagined that Heero spent most of the time fretting over what to wear. That thought both amused and endeared him.

"Are you about ready?" He called from the living room at a quarter to four.

"One second!"

Duo smiled when Heero didn't join him until a full minute later. He wore black jeans and the magenta sweater Duo had seen before. He was just in the process of putting on a black, leather jacket. It wasn't a particularly feminine outfit, but the activity didn't really allow for it.

The American noticed the rose gold earrings; he touched his finger to one of the earlobes and then flicked the dangling earring. "Those will probably get uncomfortable under the helmet."

Heero made a face. "You're right." He took them out and was about to put them down on the dinner table.

"Don't," Duo stopped him. "Put them in your pocket. You can put them back in when we get to the diner."

"No, it's fine."

"Please? I like them. They looked nice."

Heero smiled and put the earrings in one of the breast pockets of his jacket.

"Ready?"

"I guess so."

Duo extended his hand out to him and Heero accepted it. They walked to the garage hand-in-hand, admiring the weather. Duo made him promise to tap his side should he get scared at any point once they were on the motorcycle. "Just let me know if I'm going too fast, or taking the corners too sharply."

Heero leaned into him as they walked, letting their shoulders bump together. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Once they reached the back entry of the work shop, Heero pulled his hand from Duo's grip. Duo hadn't even been thinking about it, but as soon as Heero retreated his hand, he realized that he wouldn't mind his co-workers knowing about the new relationship. He wasn't really friends with any of them, but he knew most of them were decent people - at least decent enough to mind their own business - and he could handle Jamie. So, he quirked his eyebrow at him and tried to grab his hand again.

Heero shook his head. "It'll be easier this way. Trust me. Don't be too eager to jump into that part of it."

"Okay. But I'm not ashamed of you. I'm not ashamed of us."

"I know." Heero followed him into the garage, one step behind.

Mark spotted the twosome crossing through the main work area and called over to them. "Duo, coming in on your day off?" He joked as he approached them, rubbing his hands clean on a rag. Of course, he knew Duo only came to pick up his bike. Mark reached out and shook Heero's hand. "Hi, I think I've seen you here once before, but I didn't get a chance to introduce myself. I'm Mark."

"Good memory. That was about a year ago." Heero replied.

"Almost exactly," Duo interjected.

"I'm Heero, by the way."

"I remember because I know some of my employees were being rude and I had to have a talk with them," Mark explained, looking apologetic. "I was with a client at the moment, or I would have put a stop to it."

Heero was a little flustered at the older man bringing up the incident of Jamie and another employee making crass remarks about him, when he showed up to invite Duo to his birthday party. "Thank you."

Mark nodded. "Have a nice day," he said and then he returned to his work.

They headed into the adjoining work space that Duo had long claimed as his own. He handed Heero his helmet and grabbed an old spare from the stock room. He took the tarp off his motorcycle and rolled her towards the exit. "Excited?" He asked the other, who was trailing him.

"Yeah."

He navigated the bike around the dismantled car at the center of the work area; that was when he spotted Jamie, who came in to talk with a co-worker, but stopped mid-conversation to stare at Duo and the friend he brought along. He snorted and looked away. Duo glared at the back of his head but he didn't let it ruin his good mood.

Once outside, he climbed onto the seat and put on the helmet that smelled musty. He waited for Heero to put on his helmet as well, and then braced the weight of the motorcycle, with both feet planted firmly on the ground, as his partner climbed on to straddle the back seat. Feeling that his passenger had settled in place, he fired up the engine and twisted the throttle a few times to make her roar.

"Hold on to something!" Duo instructed over the noise of the engine and he was pleased when Heero put his hands on his sides, as opposed to grabbing the sissy bar behind him for support. "Here we go!" Before long they reached the highway, and as they sped up the ramp, Heero shifted closer and wrapped his arms around Duo's waist. Before the roar of the engine would get too loud for him to be heard, Duo asked: "Scared?" He had to shout the question to make sure he would be heard.

"No!" Heero assured him.

He twisted the throttle further and they were practically flying. Duo zigzagged through what little traffic there was, being more careful than usual while still introducing Heero to the thrill that he, himself, had become addicted to. After about half an hour, he steered them off the highway and followed smaller, quiet roads, cutting through the countryside and patches of forest - being mindful of the fallen leaves.

Stopped in front of a traffic light he asked: "Still doing okay back there?"

"Yeah! This is great!"

When the light turned green he sped off and caught the beginning of Heero's excited yelp before the thundering noise of the engine drowned him out.

At a quarter past six, they arrived at the diner named "Curly", remotely located by a long, straight road, right by a gas station. Duo claimed a parking spot and held the motorcycle steady as Heero hopped off. With his heel, he flicked the stand into position and climbed off himself. The muscles in his legs were a little stiff, but it wasn't too bad. He took off his helmet and ran a hand through his hair. Heero did the same. The younger one's smile was bright and giddy.

"That was amazing!" he exclaimed.

"I'm glad you liked it. You weren't scared?"

"Not at all! I didn't want to stop, but then I remembered the 'best curly fries in the world', so..." He flashed a grin.

"Yeah," Duo nodded his head in the direction of the front door. "Let's go eat." He led the other inside and found them a booth by the window overlooking the parking spot where his bike stood, her chrome gleaming.

"Coming right to ya," said the waitress as she hurried past. She returned a few minutes later to take their order: two burgers with curly fries and big Cokes. Once she scribbled down their order and rushed off again, Heero scooted to the edge of his seat and announced: "I gotta go to the little girl's room."

It was safe to assume he meant the men's restroom, but just didn't want to say that. Duo watched him walk away and sure enough, he headed through the door marked with the classic male icon. When Heero returned, he had taken off his jacket and carried it over his arm, and he wore the pretty earrings Duo advised him to take out earlier.

Heero took his seat and pouted at the empty table. "No curly fries yet?"

"Be patient, young grasshopper."

The waitress stopped by to drop off two enormous glasses of their fizzy drinks and told them their dinner would be ready in a few minutes. The fry cook was hard at work. The diner quickly filled with more travelers - it was the only rest stop for miles in either direction.

"How did you find this place?" Heero asked. He dipped his head and sucked the end of the straw into his mouth to have a drink, not even bothering trying to lift the big glass, filled to the brim with Coke and ice.

"Pure luck. Stumbled across it when I got lost once. I like coming here. It's the perfect distance for a nice ride and there are several routes to take. We took the nature-route on our way over; we can weave through all the little towns on our way back. There are some really cute places along the way. I know one town that has a themed movie theater - every auditorium has a different theme, like Star Wars and Casa Blanca. We can stop by and catch a movie if you'd like," Duo rambled.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Whenever Heero moved his head the dangly, rose gold earrings flickered in the light.

Duo smiled and reached across to flick one of the earrings, watching the light reflect off it. "You look pretty today."

Heero blushed and ducked his head between his shoulders. "I'm not even wearing any make-up."

"You don't need make-up," Duo guaranteed him, "but if you wanted to wear make-up, why didn't you?"

He shrugged. "I just didn't want to draw any attention. Earrings are one thing, but-... I probably shouldn't have worn them either." He fingered his earlobes with a worried expression.

Duo nodded. "I think it's good that you want to err on the side of caution, but you shouldn't have to hide yourself. I knew things went awry last time, but you aren't alone now. I got you," he winked at him.

"But that's the thing: I don't want to get you in trouble," Heero admitted softly.

"What do you mean?"

"When you're with me - especially if I do decide to dress up - people are going to stare at you as well, and be mean to you. You don't deserve that."

Duo offered him a warm smile. He appreciated Heero's concern, but that wasn't a burden that he should bear. "You don't deserve it either. But we can both handle it. If it happens, we can deal with it."

"It won't make you uncomfortable?"

He thought for a moment; he wanted to consider Heero's question seriously, rather than spout out whatever answer he felt would best console him. "I think I'll be a little on edge, but only because I'll be worried that someone will hurt you. I won't be embarrassed, or even thinking about myself. I'll protect you, of course. I can protect you from assholes who want to hit you," he seethed remembering the bruise and the cut in Heero lips, "but I can't stop someone from saying ignorant things, and I don't want you to get hurt."

The conversation was interrupted by the waitress bringing over two big plates with large burgers and curly fries piled on. "Enjoy!"

"Thank you," Duo thought to say, but she was already over at the next table. "Is that something you want to try again?" He asked when they were left in private. "Go out dressed the way you did that night?" He hoped his voice conveyed only genuine interest and didn't hint at any judgment, because that was not how he felt.

"I don't know." Heero popped the first fry into his mouth and moaned. "Hmmm. These are the best curly fries in the world!"

Duo smirked. "Told ya."

Heero ate a handful more before he continued seriously: "I don't really like 'fooling' people, by purposefully dressing in a way that makes my body seem like something it's not, but there is no middle ground. If I don't try to trick people, I'm more afraid of what they'll say, because it will be obvious that I'm not a woman in that way. So, it's kinda like: I'm never one or the other, I'm always in-between; but in public I have to be either fully male or fully female. I take a lot of liberties with what 'fully male' is supposed to look like - I always figure I can get away with a lot of stuff, like a shoe with a bit of a heel, a cute top or earrings - because I do have a penis, after all. But if I want to dress closer to feminine, I feel like I have to go all out to convince people. There's a part on the female half of the spectrum that I feel like I can't express in public."

"I understand what you mean." And as unfair as it was, it was probably for the best that Heero realized he shouldn't push his gender-expression too far in public; it could create unsafe situations. If he dressed convincingly female and no one found out, he'd be fine; but if he were to dress - for example - mostly female but not hiding that his body was male, people could lash out at him. "But if you ever want to try, I'd like to be there for you."

Heero smiled. "I'll let you know."

Duo nodded and pensively sipped his Coke. "What about-..." He stopped himself, worried that he shouldn't keep asking questions, since Heero might not want to answer them, or might not be able to because he hadn't figured everything out for himself yet. He decided to ask anyway: "What about pronouns?"

"What about 'em?"

"It doesn't always feel right to refer to you as 'he'," the American admitted carefully, afraid of saying the wrong things. "Like today, you don't feel like a 'he' to me."

A small smile graced his lips and he sheepishly shared: "I don't feel like a 'he' to me either, today."

"Right. So... would you like me to refer to as 'she'?"

"I haven't really thought about it yet. It's not on the top of the list of things I need to work out," Heero answered with a light tone. "If you're worried about insulting me with 'he' and 'him', don't be. I don't find it offensive."

"Maybe, but it's not right either."

"Yeah," he agreed with a weak nod, "but I don't think 'she' would be right either. And I don't know yet how I feel about 'they'; it sounds so odd, like I have a split personality. Like I'm two different people at the same time, but that's not it."

Duo listened attentively.

"And it would be hard to keep track of. It's such a hassle. I don't like the idea of having to announce my pronoun at any given time. For now, I like 'he', even if only because it's simple and I don't have to think about it. Whether it's right or not is really a non-issue for me at this point."

"But you might like different pronouns, someday?"

After a moment of thought Heero said: "Yeah. Maybe." He smiled at the idea, like it was something to look forward to in the future.

"Will you tell me when that day comes?"

"Of course." He said it so easily, like Duo was a natural part of that future; that caused a warmth to bloom in the American's chest. Heero popped another fry into his mouth. He unsubtly but amicably changed the subject by commenting: "These fries are really great."

Duo smiled at him. "They really are."

They enjoyed their meal. The hamburgers were so big even Duo couldn't finish his - and he admitted to polishing off an extra-large pizza once or twice. After dinner, they took a short walk, following a trail looping through a patch of forest surrounding the diner. They headed back towards the parking lot as it started to get dark, but before they stepped out into the open area and into sight, Duo grabbed Heero's wrist and tugged him close to kiss him. He tasted the salt of the fries in his mouth.

"Ready to go?" He mumbled against those soft lips.

"Hmhm."

"Wanna go to that movie theater?"

"Only if you pick a boring movie and promise to make out with me."

Duo grinned and held out his pinky, waiting for Heero to curl his around the little finger. "I promise."

They mounted the motorcycle again and took a different route headed back home, passing through several small towns. At the movie theater, Duo bought them tickets to a cheesy, low-budget sci-fi movie that they viewed in the Star Wars themed theater - a Jabba-the-Hutt replica was seated up on the balcony, looking down at them. Other than the ugly alien, they were completely alone. However, the movie turned out to be hilariously bad, and they both had tears in their eyes from laughing as they ridiculed the flick.

During the break, Duo attempted to get up to get them popcorn, but Heero pulled him back down by his sleeve and attacked his mouth, forcibly getting the make-out session that he was promised. Duo wormed his hand into the back of Heero's tight jeans and was pleased to feel the familiar texture of the lace panties. They groaned in dismay when the lights dimmed again - it seemed like they weren't going to pay attention to the movie - but their kiss was interrupted by their laughter when the character on screen repeated his trademark line that had them giggling earlier in the movie, and they mimicked the actor's flat delivery.

After the movie, it was only a short ride back to the garage. Duo used his emergency key to get in. He didn't flick on the lights - the moonlight and emergency exit sign illuminated the open space enough for him to find his way. He parked his bike in her corner and covered her with the tarp, then he put the two helmets on his work bench that Heero was leaning against. His eyes glinted with blue light.

Duo inched closer, recognizing the lusty gaze. "What are you thinking about?"

"Riding you," the other said bluntly.

Duo bit back a groan. He braced his arms against the work bench on either side of Heero's body. Their faces were close, but when Heero leaned in for a kiss, Duo tilted his head back and smirked at him. "That sounds good." He let Heero nibble at his ear and jawline.

"I've been thinking about it the entire time I was straddling that beast," Heero nodded at the motorcycle.

"Nnn..."

"Take me home, daddy."

"Yeah." He grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Let's go baby-girl." He locked the garage door, chuckling as Heero couldn't keep his hands off him. He pressed him against the garage door once it was shut. The metal rattled and the noise satisfied him in the quiet of the evening in the dark alley. He plundered Heero's mouth but forced himself to break the kiss and start them on their way home. They held hands, bumped shoulders, recited that horrible line from the movie with monotonous voices, and giggled like excited teenagers.

Right as the front door fell into the frame behind him, Heero attacked him in the most welcome way. He locked his arms around his neck and pulled himself up so he could kiss the taller man. Duo returned the kiss eagerly and kneaded his fingers into the round bottom of his lover. But he didn't want to lose control over himself just yet.

"Babe, wait," he mumbled against his lips. Heero stopped, the interruption left him impatient. "I want you do to something for me first?"

He quirked an eyebrow and waited.

"I want you to go into your bedroom and dress the way you would have wanted to dress for a date, if the rest of the world didn't matter. I want to see you."

Heero snorted. "Pick an outfit? That could take a while."

"I'll wait. I'm happy to wait. I want to see you."

"What if I don't want to wait?" He whined.

"Please? I want nothing more than to undress you, but these are not the right clothes for today."

"Jesus, Duo," he breathed. He detached himself and took a step back. "Okay, but if this takes an hour, remember that it was all your own fault."

Duo nodded in response to the warning. He was left alone in the living room as Heero went into his bedroom to get changed. He got himself water from the kitchen, took a seat on the couch and he distracted himself with his phone. Getting warm, he thought to rid himself of his leather jacket and threw it over the armrest. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait that long - he had Heero's impatience and lust to thank for that. He hadn't been waiting for more than twenty minutes; he wondered if maybe Heero had put some previous thought in what he would have actually liked to wear on a date with his roommate.

The door of the bedroom opened and Heero posed in the frame, like a pretty picture. Duo's breath hitched in the back of his throat; he did not regret sending his lover into his bedroom to get changed. He watched - he imagined his eyes were wide and his mouth open - as Heero stalked towards him, but the younger one broke character midway and giggled shyly. He stopped - too far away. Duo smiled at him and beckoned him closer with a crook of his finger. Heero came to stand before him, between the couch and the coffee table, and let Duo feast on the sight of him, even as it drew a bright red blush to his cheekbones.

He looked stunning and so, so sexy in a form fitting dress, knitted of light grey wool. It hugged his shape well, not hiding the fact that his body was male; his flat chest, his slim hips and the bulge between his legs were on display, even though he was actually very covered up. The dress had long sleeves and the cowl neck didn't droop to expose more than the dip between his clavicles. The hem was very short, but only a few inches of skin was showing, since he wore a pair of thigh-high, brown suede boots, golden zippers running down the back of them. Duo's gaze followed the silhouette of the boots, fitted perfectly around his slim ankles and shapely calves, but a little looser around the thighs to allow for range of motion.

"Do you like them?" Heero's fingers traced the top edge of the boots.

"Like them? I think I've just realized I have a shoe-fetish." He hooked his index finger into the opening at the top of the left boot and guided Heero closer until he was standing between Duo's parted knees. He put his hands on the boots - they were warm from the body heat - and smoothed his hands down the back, feeling the soft material and the swell of the calves. "Jesus Christ... You're gonna keep these on, right?"

Heero shook his head. "I want to ride you and it's not comfortable to bend my knees all the way in them."

Duo pouted.

"Don't worry. There's a surprise underneath."

"Hmmm, I can't wait." He trailed his hands up to Heero's ass and brought his face close to his groin. "What about under here? What are you wearing under here?"

"Nothing."

"Nnnn... I think that's the kind of surprise I like." He stood and hoisted Heero up, enjoying the way the hem of the dress hiked up as Heero reactively wrapped his legs around him - and his arms as well - to hold on. Not until their faces were that close together did he spot that Heero had applied some make-up as well: eye-liner, mascara and a reddish-brown lipstick. "Your bedroom or mine?"

"Yours. My bedroom looks like my closet exploded. There's a pile of clothes on my bed, and we are not having sex on top of my clothes."

Duo grinned and walked them over to his own bedroom. He lowered himself onto the bed, with Heero in his lap, and their lips found each other again. He tasted the lipstick; it tasted like chocolate. He ravaged Heero's mouth and didn't care that he got the color all over his own. He rocked his hips up, grinding his erection against Heero's ass.

"I want to get these boots off."

Right, they're not comfortable while kneeling, Duo remembered, which was exactly what Heero was doing, straddling his lap. He let him slip off his lap. "Let me?"

Heero nodded.

Duo reached around and lowered the zipper of the first boot, down to the ankle where it could open no further. Heero's hands sought purchase on his shoulders, supporting his balance as Duo coaxed the foot off the floor so he could take the boot off. He was no disappointed by "the surprise" Heero had alluded to earlier; underneath the boots, it turned out, he wore thigh-high, navy blue stocking - the thick kind that school girls wore with their uniforms.

"Fuck yeah." Duo made quick work getting rid of the other boot, but put them to the side carefully, betting that the pair of them cost more than anything he owned - the only exception being his motorcycle.

Heero helped him strip out of his clothes, not satisfied until he was seated on the edge of the bed completely naked. The younger one looked at him expectantly, and Duo knew what to do. With both hands, he grabbed a hold of the hem of the dress, and slowly pulled it up Heero's body, letting the bundled-up wool and his knuckles graze the heated skin as he went. Heero raised his arms over his head, allowing Duo to slip the garment off, leaving his body bare, except for the blue socks that reached up to above his knee.

Following a gesture of Heero's hand, Duo scooted further up the bed and laid himself down on his back in the center. Before long, Heero was on top of him, straddling his hips. Duo ran his hands up and down his thighs, feeling the contrast between skin and the material of the socks.

The other reached for the condoms and the lube, knowing exactly where to find it. He was about to pour lube into his open palm and start on getting himself ready, but Duo grabbed his wrist to stop him. "Let me. Please? I want to feel your tight heat with my fingers." He grabbed hold of the other end of the bottle of lube and waited for Heero to let go. When he did, Duo had his answer.

Heero inched forward until he was perched above Duo's stomach, that way Duo could reach better. He coated his fingers and wiggled them to test the slickness. Satisfied that he had applied enough lube, he reached around and found the puckered opening. He worked his fingers into the tight channel, one by one until three fit comfortably. Heero rolled his hips and pushed back against the pressure of his hand.

"I love how this feels," the American said.

The only response was a curt nod. Heero was too caught up in the sensations. The fingers had soon located and proceeded to massage his prostate, at which point he had lost all of his inhibitions. When he had enough of the teasing, he announced: "I'm ready. I need you to fill me up."

"Ah, fuck, baby." Duo blindly rolled a condom down his length and held himself steady at the base as Heero shifted back and positioned himself. He sat his weight down; Duo pulled his hand away and let out a drawn-out moan, ending in a gasp once he was fully seated inside of him.

Neither could wait any longer. Heero leaned his shoulders back and supported himself with one hand on Duo's knee as he worked his hips up and down. Occasionally, he'd stop and Duo knew it was his turn to take control - he'd buck his hips, faster every time he got the chance, until Heero would take the lead again. When he moved, his arousal danced up and down and Duo couldn't help but steal glances at it and lick his lips at the trail of pre-come dripping down the underside of it. It was so red and swollen and dripping, and Duo couldn't fathom how Heero was able to resist touching himself in a state like that. The American himself never had much self-control whenever he was in a predicament like that.

His lover caught him staring and Duo promised him: "It looks good, baby. It looks so good." His mouth fell open, remembering what it was like to feel that weight on his tongue and taste his need. Heero moaned and threw his head back. His cock was twitching. Duo tightened his hands on Heero's thighs, to stop himself from reaching for it. His body looked so beautiful, perched on top of him, pleasuring himself on his dick. Duo wanted to touch every inch of it, but he settled for holding on to the thighs that quivered with exertion and pleasure.

When Heero looked down at him again, his eyes were dark - the blue was nearly black in the dim lighting of the room. He dug his teeth into his bottom lip and then he whined helplessly: "I want to touch it. Is that okay? It's aching."

First, Duo's mouth went dry but then it flooded with saliva and he nearly drooled when he spoke: "Yeah, touch yourself, pretty girl. I want you to feel good." His gaze followed Heero's hand as he brought it down and wrapped it around himself, giving a squeeze at the base before dragging it up, milking more pre-come out of himself. He got his fingers wet caressing the head.

"Let me taste it?" Duo begged. "Let me taste your wetness." He opened his mouth greedily when glistening fingers appeared at his lips. He suckled on the digits and the taste took him back to that night on the couch, when Heero was a man. He got even more aroused with the combination of the more feminine, coy Heero on top of him and the memory of the manly, confident Heero from before. He wondered what it would be like to fuck Heero while he was like that - he was looking forward to the experience.

With his fingers licked clean, Heero poured some lube into his hand to make it slick, and then he stroked his length again. Somehow, even as Duo watched Heero pump his fist up and down his cock, he was no less of a woman to him. Heero's body was a woman's body, simply because he knew that the soul that occupied it was a woman at the time.

Duo came first; it was too much for him. His hands shifted to claw at Heero's hipbones and hold him in place so he was buried deep inside, and he pretended that the condom wasn't there. The other brought himself to orgasm shortly after, spilling his come on Duo's chest while crying out his name.

"That... was... amazing..." Duo breathed once Heero tumbled off of him and crashed onto the bed at his side. He took a moment to let his heartrate calm down before he started cleaning himself with tissues. Heero's body radiated heat next to his; he rested his cheek on Duo's shoulder and his breath swept across his neck and chest.

Tired blue eyes watched him clean the semen off of his skin. "I'm sorry I made a mess."

"Don't be. I like it messy."

"It's not very lady-like."

Duo turned his head and planted a kiss on top of Heero's head. He mumbled into the hair, sporting a silly grin: "I love your body and how it reacts to me. It's so... honest." His heart warmed when he felt the tension in Heero's cheek, indicating a smile.

Heero propped himself up on his elbow and took out the rose gold earrings, one by one. He reached across Duo's broad chest to place them on the nightstand and then he sat up and peeled off the socks. He pulled up the duvet, rolled up at the foot of the bed, to cover them. Then settled back down, his head on the pillow next to Duo's, a leg draped over Duo's hip - touching his thigh to his soft manhood - and hugged Duo's arm to his chest. "Is this okay?"

"More than okay. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I had a lot of fun on our date."

Duo smiled at having Heero confirm that it was, indeed, a date. "Me too." He added cheekily: "I told you I could be a pretty great boyfriend."

"Hmmm. I might change my Facebook status yet."

He chuckled at the dry joke.

Heero snuggled closer against him and seemed about ready to fall asleep, but there was a question on Duo's mind, and he didn't want to have to wait to have his curiosity satisfied. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mmm... sure."

"It's kind of personal," he warned.

Heero's voice was deep from tiredness. "We've been 'kind of personal' for a while now."

That was true. "Do you only have-..." He stopped himself before he said "anal sex"; that term didn't seem appropriate and he trusted that instinct. He took a second to think of a better way to phrase his question. Heero was too tired to be impatient anyway. "Do you only have penetrative sex when you're on this end of spectrum? Is it a mostly-woman-thing?"

Heero shifted so he could look Duo in the eyes. Thankfully, he didn't seem offended by the question. "No. I love getting fucked when I'm mostly male too. Why would you think that?"

He grinned at his crass choice of words. "Just because we've only ever had sex while you were feeling feminine. When you were definitely a man, we only sucked each other off."

The other shrugged with one shoulder. "That's what I was in the mood for."

"Yeah, you were." Duo thought about it for a minute and asked: "Is it different?"

"For me or for you?"

"Both. Either."

"I guess. I like it more rough when I'm on the other half. I like taking cock inside me without stretching first, and I like getting my hair pulled and being jerked off so roughly it leaves me a little raw after. I like being treated like I'm not going to break. I have a dirty mouth too."

Duo bit back a groan.

"Sound like something you'd like?"

"Yeah."

"Something you'd like better?"

Duo noticed the change in his tone. "No, I just like variation; it's the spice of life," he said glibly. "I love that, with you, I don't have to choose. I can have everything because you are everything."

Heero buried his nose into the crook of Duo's neck to hide his blush. "I can't believe how accepting you are, of all of this. Sometimes, I get so scared that I might say or do something that makes you realize you don't want to put up with this madness."

"It's not madness," Duo assured him with a gentle tone, although he was sympathetic to his concerns. Quatre and Hilde worried about him too, but he couldn't talk to either of them the way he could talk to Heero. "I've always known that there was... a duality to you, which was exactly what drew me in. From the moment I met you, I wanted to know more about you, and I knew I would never get enough because there would always be more - new things about you to discover. Of course, I didn't understand why that was, but it always excited me." With his arm hugged tightly against Heero's chest, he could feel the other's heart thundering at his words.

"You're amazing..." Heero whispered. "I feel so stupid now, for not giving you a chance sooner, for pushing you away. I wasted so much time."

Duo shook his head. "You weren't ready. Time to grow and figure yourself out first is never wasted."

"God," Heero laughed, "will you stop saying perfect shit for once, and just agree I was mean as piss and unfair to you?"

"Fine. You were a total cunt."

He laughed harder; the sound and the rumble in his chest was wonderful. "Fuck, even when you insult me, you're perfect."

Duo chuckled and kissed his forehead. "You were a bitch, but you're my bitch now," he continued jokingly.

Heero replied without missing a beat: "Yeah, I am."

"Are you ready for that now?" he inquired, his tone a little more serious.

"I think so."

Chapter 10

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