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"The Neon Spectrum"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: Warnings: Angst! Drama! Hurt/Comfort elements!
Language! Sexual confusion/identity crisis! Gender identity crisis!
Homophobia! Transphobia! Violence (non-explicit)! SEX (explicit)!
Minor Dom/Sub Dynamic (honestly so mild it might not even be worth
mentioning)! Pairings: 2x1, 3x4 Summary: Duo finds out life isn't black and white when he realizes he's in love with his gay roommate. But Heero has no interest in dating a 'straight' man while he struggles with his own identity. AN: This story explores the sexuality spectrum as well as the gender spectrum. That means this story includes a Gender-Bending/Genderqueer/Gender-Fluid/Non-Binary Gender Identity character (read: feminization and crossdressing). If that is not something you are open to, please skip this story. If you decide to read this story, please remember that the featured characters are individuals and are not written to represent an entire group of people. I'm not making any statements on what it means to be queer or gender queer. Neither sexuality nor gender identity can be generalized across people – it's different for everyone – and this story is about the experiences of two individuals. I don't mean any disrespect, to anyone, and I hope I've handled the subject with the sensitivity that it deserves. Beta: Shima Yi (Thanks so much for doing this!)
"The Neon Spectrum" Chapter SIX - Selfish The teasing continued and it wasn't just one-sided anymore, in spite of how adamant Heero made himself seem to be. Duo first realized this when he watched Heero slowly eat a banana for breakfast, standing in the kitchen in the new plaid shirt, unbuttoned, showing a vertical line of skin from his long neck down to the hem of his jeans. Whether he had any intention of ever following through, or simply enjoyed playing the game that Duo had introduced, the American couldn't yet decipher. Duo enjoyed playing the game with him, trying constantly to think of ways to up the ante and he was having fun, but his patience was wearing thin. The curiosity of what it would be like to lick his Adam's apple, and grind their erections together, was killing him. He raised the ante further when he invited Heero to skip pizza night, and go to the gay club that he had been to with Quatre and Trowa before. Heero agreed reluctantly, but only under the guise of trying to help him find a guy to unleash his new sexual desires on. Duo never spent as much time mulling in front of his closet as he did in preparation for that night, to the point of actually taking a seat on the carpeted floor, crossing his legs underneath him. He didn't even have that many clothes to choose from, but the pressure made it quite the task. He wondered how Heero managed to get dressed, with a veritable clothing's store available to him. He decided on a pair of black, ripped jeans that he hadn't worn in six years - and maybe shouldn't have ever worn again, considering he was a lot more muscular than he was at twenty-four, and the fit was obscenely tight. He tucked his manhood up and to the left; the outline was clearly visible as he went to appraise himself in the mirror. But with a flush to his cheeks and chest, he remembered the hungry look Heero cast down into his lap when they came pretty close to crossing the barrier of "friendship" on the couch that one night, three weeks earlier. He wanted Heero to look at him like that again, and this time, not be able to control his lust. Faithful to the "throwback" look he was creating with the ripped jeans from his punk-rock era, he slipped into an old T-shirt with the faded logo of a band that was popular enough to be recognized, but not mainstream - that made him feel very cool at the time. Honestly, it was just a nicely thin shirt with an awesome graphic design. The sleeves were short to show off his arms, and the front hem was short enough to put himself on display if he raised his arms above his head in dance. As pleased with himself as he was ever going to be, he stepped into his regular, black boots - one of only three pairs of shoes he owned - and headed into the living room where Heero made him wait for another twenty minutes. He paced back and forth. Scenarios already started playing in his head: fantasies of how the night could go. He knew he had to curb his enthusiasm; his high expectations exposed him to disappointment. Finally, Heero's bedroom door opened, only far enough for the slender man to slip out into the hallway. Duo appreciated the tight fit of the light denim jeans. The ends were rolled up to show about an inch of ankle above those black booties that he liked to wear so much. The white, silk shirt he wore cascaded down from his shoulders - the supple movements of the fabric were mesmerizing. He had it buttoned all the way to the top; it looked constricting and too formal for club-attire, but Duo never questioned Heero's fashion choices, feeling like it would be sacrilegious to do so, and definitely get him in trouble. He never examined that instinct, he just went with it. "You look nice," was what Duo said and he meant it, although Heero looked more dressed for dinner than a night of dancing, surrounded by sweaty bodies. "Thank you." Blue eyes scrutinized him, and turned a few shades darker in the shadow of long, black lashes. "You look great." Duo chuckled impishly. "You'd tell me if I was too old for this shit, right?" Heero once told him that he'd be too old for ripped jeans after his thirtieth, but the lusty look in the blue eyes suggested he had changed his mind about that expiration date. "Too old to look hot?" He smiled. "Thanks." They took an Uber to Key Hole, and as they stepped into the venue, Heero made an offhand comment about not having been there in "ages". He muttered something else as he took in the sights, but the music was too loud for Duo to overhear. He led him through the crowd and halfway across the dance floor he turned around and asked: "Drink?" He formed his hand as if he was holding a glass, and tipped it against his lips to help Heero understand his question - he couldn't even hear himself over the beat of the popular summer track. The Japanese man nodded in response and followed him the rest of the way to the bar. Together they squeezed in-between two buff men - one of them half-naked and wearing a leather harness with buckles - to stand at the bar. Two bartenders serviced customers, but were both too busy to pay them any attention. "Is one of them the bartender that hit on you before?" Heero asked, practically shouting to make himself understood. Duo blinked; he hadn't even thought of that. He studied both men but had a hard time identifying either as the bartender who hit on him that other time. He couldn't picture the man clearly, and was only left with a vague memory of dark, curly hair and dark eyes. One of the current bartenders did fit that general description, but the sight of his face didn't jostle a memory. "No, I don't think so." "You don't think so?" He shrugged. "I don't really remember." "Were you really that drunk?" "No." He shook his head and looked at his friend poignantly. "It just didn't mean anything, so it didn't stick." "Hm." Although Heero was short and of a tiny built, he had no trouble getting the undivided attention of both bartenders once he decided he had been kept waiting long enough. He pushed himself up, leaned over the bar and mused out loud: "Whose cock do I have to suck to get a drink over here?" Dark-tall-and-handsome tapped a beer for Duo, and the blonde bartender mixed a cocktail for Heero, their eyes sparkling whenever they looked up at the Japanese man during their task. "On the house, for making you wait so long, beautiful," the blonde said with a wink and then he and his co-worker got back to work. Duo laughed and raised his glass in a toast. "Impressive. You shade them," he chuckled at himself for using the term, "and get rewarded with a free drink and a compliment." "I have my ways with the boys, honey." Heero hid his smug grin behind his glass. "Yes. You do." Heero blushed and couldn't think of any other distraction than another sip from his cocktail. "So, see anyone you fancy?" "Hmhm." Duo never let his gaze wander away from Heero. "Other than me." "No, but we just got here." "Well, maybe you should start looking. Staring at me all night isn't going to get you anywhere." A sly smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. After consuming some more liquid-courage, he teased: "Didn't you like me looking at you?" "Love it," Heero quipped. "But with me, you only ever get to look. You didn't come all the way here for just a look, right?" Going along with it, Duo turned around and scanned the crowd. Most men on the dance floor had discarded their shirts and their sweaty shoulders shone, reflecting the color of whatever light-effect was happening overhead. The mass of bodies writhed together, producing a heat and primal smell that filled the space. Their faces all blended together, none of them stood out to Duo. None of them had those beautiful cobalt eyes, perfectly shaped lips, or those entirely too cute dimples with every smile. Rather than committing to anyone quite yet, Duo shot back: "See anyone you like?" "Maybe," Heero replied mysteriously. Duo shot him a sideway glance, hoping to find the younger man looking at him, but he wasn't. The American finished his beer, and urged his roommate to take the last drink from his cocktail. "Let's dance!" Although the swarm of bodies wasn't enticing Duo to become part of it, he knew there would be benefits to them dancing together in the crowd, forced to be close together in the limited space they'd be able to conquer on the dance floor. Heero put his empty glass on the bar. "No touching! Don't get handsy with me." Duo nodded at the warning. "But I can look, right?" He smirked. "Yeah, you can look." Being the taller and broader one of the two, Duo pushed off the bar first and led the way, creating a path for Heero to follow. The bodies were more packed closer to the bar and Duo didn't enjoy the thought of strangers rubbing against him, so he navigated further, closer to the stage at the far end that was not in use at that moment by anyone, other than a few brave exhibitionists who gyrated their hips for everyone to see. There, they had some space to dance and breathe; he spun around and crooked his finger at Heero, beckoning him closer but heeding the instructions of "no touching". Duo put on a good show for his dance partner. He'd checked his inhibitions at the door - at his closet door, when he picked the outfit that he had. He stayed mostly rooted in one spot, since there wasn't ample space to move around, but his hips followed the rhythm of the music. He raised his hands over his head, exposing the front of his jeans and an inch of bare skin above the hem, shamelessly showing off the dark trail of hairs coming down from his belly button, and the shape of himself underneath the denim fabric. Heero noticed and pretended to be unaffected, averting his gaze to the men around them, searching for anything to latch his gaze onto. His dance movements started subdued and uncertain, but didn't stay that way for long. Duo made several trips back to the bar, for two rounds of shots and more cocktails, losing count after a while. Every time he returned to their spot on the dance floor he had to give another man who had flocked to Heero's side his most dangerous glare to get him to back off. His roommate didn't make any objections to his noticeable possessiveness. As the night progressed, they gravitated closer and closer together, but never did they touch, even though Duo was aching to. The shape in the front of his jeans was more pronounced as he got half hard, thinking about how he wanted to grind their pelvises together, and let his hands wander over Heero's body, feeling the silkiness of the shirt and the body underneath. He was sweating - he felt it on his temples and in his armpits, the smell blending with that of the crowd. Heero's golden face was glossy with a sheen of sweat as well. His mouth was parted as he breathed more heavily from the night-long exertion. Duo didn't remember when, but at some point during the night, the cobalt blue eyes stopped meeting his, and all Heero looked at was his broad chest in front of him, like he was studying the intricate logo art, but Duo knew better. Seeing as nearly everyone else who occupied the dancefloor was half-naked, he didn't hesitate to peel off the black shirt - it was a relief in more ways than one to bare his torso. He tucked one end of the shirt into the back pocket of his jeans, so he wouldn't have to hold it or lose it either. The way Heero looked at him was a rush unlike any other. The shorter man had seen him half-undressed many times in the past couple of weeks, but this was different; context mattered. "Aren't you hot?" Duo asked, his eyes shone with mischief. "Very," Heero agreed. The word just blurted out of him. "Take off your shirt," he encouraged. Heero shook his head, a flicker of panic passing through his eyes before he explained: "It's a blouse, and it's Chanel. One does not simply take off Chanel and put it in their back pocket." Duo chuckled at him, even though the sound was too soft to be heard. "Maybe you shouldn't have worn Chanel to a sweaty club." Heero looked down at himself and smoothed a hand down the front of the blouse. "You hate it." He shook his head. He really didn't; it was a beautiful blouse and he bet the fabric would feel delicious, letting his hands slide over it before slipping underneath. "No! You look beautiful in everything and nothing," he assured him with a smirk. "But I've seen you in everything, and now I'm curious about the nothing." He inched closer - as close as he could go while still abiding by the rules - dipped his head, and breathed into the crook of Heero's neck. He was so close that chocolate brown hairs tickled his cheek, but that didn't count as "touching" in his book. "You said it was okay to look, but how can I be satisfied with looking when you won't let me see you." He straightened up and watched Heero bite his lips. The shorter man opened his mouth to speak, probably to remind him once again that nothing was going to happen between them - Duo couldn't deny that the wait and the tease excited him - but someone cut him off, inserting himself into the conversation. A broad, muscular guy with platinum blonde hair, but nearly black eyebrows and beard, leaned in - too close for comfort - and shouted in Heero's face: "Stop being such a fucking cock-tease! Either let him have it or cut him loose so someone else can make a move!" Duo was sure Heero could defend himself perfectly fine against guys like that, but the Japanese man didn't get the chance to say anything before Duo burst in response: "Get the fuck away from him right now! He's my 'cock-tease' and I happen to like it." He prodded an angry, pointed finger into the bulky chest, forcing him back. The guy muttered some choice curse words and warned Duo not to touch him again with vain threats, but he soon made his retreat and disappeared into the crowd. "What a goddamn asshole," Duo seethed. "I could've handled it." "I know, but I wanted to. He pissed me off." Heero grinned. "Yes, I could tell. So, I'm 'your' cock-tease, huh?" "Yeah, you are." Duo grabbed the bulge between his legs, pleased that Heero's gaze followed the movement of his hand. He was fully hard now; the surge of rage had only added to his primal arousal. He stared as Heero's throat worked visibly to swallow the saliva that flooded his mouth. "I-" Heero tore his gaze away and looked up. "I need to go to the bathroom." And he was already starting in that direction. Duo was right beside him. "Me too." "That's not what I meant, Duo. It's not an invitation." "It's a public restroom," Duo leered, "And when you gotta go, you gotta go." They pushed their way through the crowd to the restrooms in the back, where the music was nothing but a distant drone. The once-white tiles had been painted black, but people had scratched words and crude drawings into it. There was a long wall of urinals, and even more stalls, yet not nearly enough sinks. A group of men huddled in front of the mirrors, pretty much blocking anyone who actually wanted to wash their hands. They stared at their own reflection, and fussed over their hair and readjusted their clothes. Loud moans echoed off the walls, coming from the stalls. Three of the men standing at the urinals weren't peeing, but instead getting jerked off by strangers that came up behind them. It was disgusting and seedy, but made Duo's cock pulse regardless. Seeing as the urinals left one open for molestation, Heero decided on an empty stall in the back. Duo was right on his heels and, when Heero was about to close the door to separate them, Duo stopped him. They both held onto the panel, neither pushing nor pulling; the battle was fought by their gazes as they met. Duo would have let Heero close the door on him if he believed that was what he truly wanted, but as he stared into those clouded blue eyes, he knew better. The golden hand slipped from the door and Heero stepped back, allowing Duo to join him in the stall. Duo locked the door behind them and kept his back against the door as they engaged in round two of a stare-down battle. After what seemed too long, Duo stepped forward; that single step was all it took to shrink the space between them down to an inch. Heero backed up against the wall, but Duo followed his movements, staying close enough to feel the heat radiate from his body, but never so close that they were touching. He wanted Heero to give him permission for that first. He put his hands on the wall, on either side of Heero's head, trapping him with his arms. A feral growl escaped him as Heero let his gaze rake down his body. Duo's hands, which were splayed on the painted tiles before, clenched into fists; it was the best he could do to keep himself from grabbing those slim hips, so he could hold him in place as he rocked his pelvis against him. In the stall next to theirs, the occupants didn't match their patience. They basically crashed through the door and soon erupted into moans. This wasn't the kind of place Duo had envisioned to be the scene of their first kiss, or the first whatever-Heero-was-willing-to-give-him, but his need was too dire to be ignored in favor of a more romantic setting. "I want to touch you," he whispered, and then groaned at the neediness evident in the low tone of his voice. "God, there are so many things I want to do to you." "You're not allowed," Heero reminded him. "That just makes me want it all the more..." he whined and dropped his head down. "But I won't do anything without your permission." "Permission" - it sounded so the sensual the way he said it just now. His erection throbbed in the confines of his jeans. "Is that why you want this, Duo? Do you want it only because you can't have it? Do you want it only because of the taboo?" "I want this because I want you," he grunted. "I want you so bad... I want to feel your hair. I want to feel your lips. I want to feel your cock." He was sweating even more than he had on the dancefloor. His body felt impossibly hot - overheated, even. He knew without seeing that his face and chest were flushed red. He squeezed his eyes shut; he was so desperate, he felt like he could weep if he let himself. "And I want to make you feel so good, baby." Heero whimpered at the pet name. "It's never going to be easy, having a relationship with another guy. And it especially won't be easy with me. I'm not a good role model." "I don't need you to be my role model. I just need you to be mine." "... Fuck..." Heero was squirming against the wall. "Please... Please..." Duo begged senselessly, rocking his head from left to right, like an animal pacing back and forth in a cage. At any moment, his control was going to snap and he was going to attack that beautiful, slim neck. Left or right. Left or right. Left or right. "I'm scared of wrecking another good thing in my life." "You are wrecking something good in your life if you deny us both this," he argued. "You're missing out on the possibility of something great." "Cocky," Heero deadpanned. "I'm serious." He bit back a groan. He was so hard and his jeans were so tight. "Let me show you. Let me, please. Unleash me," he ground out. The veins in his forearms were as prominent as the tendons in his neck must have been. His entire body was tense, like a strung bow, and he was ready to snap. He never felt such an intense desire for anyone, giving true meaning to the word "yearning". Heero mewled pathetically. His control was faltering. "I'm not yet allowed to touch you but you can touch me," Duo spoke, watching blue eyes widen at him. "If you want." There was a delay - a moment of hesitation - before Heero reached up and slipped his hands around Duo's wrists, then pushed them up the toned arms, up to the shoulders, before dragging them back to the wrists, reveling in the bulging biceps; he scratched his nails through the hairs on the forearms. Duo let out a shaky moan. The touch set his skin alight. He closed his eyes and bit down on his bottom lip. The small hands returned to his shoulders, and fingers delved into the hair at the nape of his neck, where he was damp with sweat. Then the palms moved down his chest, slowly, grazing hard nipples and the fingers fell into and explored every dip they encountered: his collarbone, his abs, the lines at his hips. The exploration stopped at the waistband of his jeans. He thought Heero might be too shy to continue, and he was about to offer words of encouragement - or simply beg, rather - when Heero showed him that he wasn't shy at all. The index finger of the left hand hooked into his jeans, not doing anything other than anchoring the hand in place, while the right hand firmly cupped him through his jeans. The moan that poured out of Duo's mouth didn't even sound like him, so whiny and greedy. He knew himself as more of a "giving" lover, taking control and overwhelming his partners, doing all the work. He thought it was what he liked - and he did - but being at Heero's mercy made him fantasize about Heero treating him to more pleasure, and letting it all wash over him. The hand rubbed against him and fingers traced the outline of his erection, pointing up to his left hip. He moaned Heero's name in appreciation. His knuckles were turning white as he kept his fists pressed against the wall on either side of Heero's head. He swallowed, and the shorter man gave into the temptation to lick his Adam's apple; Duo's entire body shuddered in response. The finger in the waistband of his jeans pulled, testing the stretch of the fabric. He couldn't even pull it an inch away from the skin - the jeans were too tight. Realizing either that he couldn't or shouldn't work that hand into Duo's pants, he brought the hand up and pawed at Duo's chest and shoulders. A kiss landed on his breastbone. "Heero..." He moaned. Without thought he rocked his hips against the hand fondling him, searching for more friction. He opened his eyes to the sight of wild, brown hair as Heero kept placing kisses on his chest. The touch of his lips was too light and too chaste; he wanted to cup Heero's face in his hands and connect their mouths, so he could ravage him with his tongue. But he wasn't going to do anything without permission - he didn't want to spook Heero. The kisses stopped, but at the same time the hand at the front of his jeans became more purposeful; it was almost as painful as it was pleasurable, but he was close to orgasm regardless. He could tell Heero's demeanor had changed as he worked to get him to reach his climax, like it was a mission he just needed to get over with. Duo was already at a point of no return - he couldn't have made Heero stop to level with him, and ask what was wrong when the situation had seemed so promising before; he couldn't think clearly, let alone coherently express his concerns. "Please," he begged through gritted teeth, "don't make me come in these tight fucking jeans." Almost immediately the pressure was released; Heero popped the button and dragged down the zipper, then tugged down his underwear. That small hand wrapped around the base of his arousal and pulled up, twisting at the wrist when he reached the tip, rubbing the palm into the pre-come that had gathered. The simple action was repeated a few more times; Duo's cock nearly leaped out of Heero's hand a couple of times with new surges of blood and endorphins and all other hormones that were a spice to life. Then the hand stilled, wrapped firmly around the shaft, just underneath the crown, and the thumb pressed and rubbed into the slit and ghosted over the very tip. Duo choked on a breathless gasp. His arms started to quiver. "I'm close... Please..." Whether he was warning him not to continue or begging him to finish him off, Duo didn't even know, but he repeated the plea over and over as a mantra as the hand pumped up and down his length again, until he released with a grunt, spilling his semen into Heero's awaiting left hand. The younger man eased him through his orgasm, pumping a tight fist up and down the shaft a few more times, but knowing exactly when to lighten his grip and when to let go of the over-sensitized member completely. There was something clinical and distant in the way he simply reached for some toilet paper to wipe his hand clean, then disposed of the soiled bundle of tissue in the toilet. Duo's mind was foggy and his body felt like it wasn't his. He couldn't stop himself from shaking. His fists had unclenched and he splayed his hands against the wall again as he leaned his weight forward. If he hadn't been braced against the wall, he would have toppled over. Heero ducked under Duo's arm, keeping his head bowed, and exited the stall. "W-wait!" Duo stammered. He struggled to balance himself on his feet and stuffed himself back into his briefs before stumbling out of the stall. "Wait, Heero!" He saw the Japanese man bypass others on his way out of the restrooms; Duo intended to follow him, but his way was blocked by a man even taller and broader than he was. "Are you bothering him?" The man questioned with judgmental eyes. "Stay out of it. He's my friend," Duo snarled and pushed past him in an attempt to catch up to Heero, but he couldn't even see him anymore. He elbowed his way across the dance floor to the front door, hoping to find Heero outside. Now that he was himself again and in charge of his mind and body, he needed to talk to Heero. He needed to understand what went wrong - what he did wrong. He thought he had been behaving exactly the way Heero wanted him to, and he thought it had been going well as Heero was about to give in to their mutual desire, but then everything changed. Outside was still warm and humid, in spite of the fact that it was long past midnight. A group of smokers idled by the entry; Duo could taste the foul nicotine in his mouth as he passed through the grey smoke that one of the men teasingly blew out at him. "Heero!" He called before he even paused to search his surroundings for the shorter man. He was nowhere to be seen. He turned back to the smokers. "Did you see someone come out the door right before me?" "Hunty, it's a door. Lots of people coming and going," one of them answered most unhelpfully; he made a "see-I-told-you-so" face when the door opened again and a threesome of young men emerged from the club, giggling and stumbling over their own feet. Duo tried again: "A short guy with a white blouse? Dark brown hair?" The only two that were still paying him any attention shrugged, and then turned back to their conversation and cigarettes. "Thanks," he spat. With his hands in his hair he walked down the street and checked the first street on the right. He spotted more smokers and two men exchanging hand jobs; people were coming and going through a door clearly marked "NO ENTRY. EMERGENCY USE ONLY". Fuck. He followed Heero to the wrong exit, which had allowed him to get away from him. Duo knew there was no point combing the streets for him. He'd wasted too much time, and Heero could have gone in any direction. His best bet was to head home, although he had a sinking feeling that his roommate wouldn't be there. He called an Uber and half an hour later, he was back at the apartment. He was alone. Shit. Panic washed over him. He paced back and forth in the living room, wearing a trench into the rug by the coffee table. He thought about getting a beer from the fridge, knowing that more alcohol would help him calm down, but it wouldn't benefit the situation if Heero came home and Duo was pissing drunk - even more drunk than he already was. So, he made himself a cup of coffee instead, then later another, even though he acknowledged it would make him jittery and restless. After an hour of waiting, he assumed Heero was not coming home for the night. He wanted to text Quatre and ask him if his roommate was with him, but if Heero had gone to one of his girlfriends instead, he didn't want to wake the blonde and needlessly stress him out. Duo took a shower, letting the water beat down on his back, and then he went to bed in nothing but his underwear. He lay on top of the sheets, tossing and turning, unable to find sleep, and kept replaying the evening in his head, wondering where he had lost him. X At three AM, there was a knock on Duo's bedroom door. Just one, then the door opened. Duo blinked at the beam of light cutting across the ceiling; he propped himself up on his elbows and stared down his body at the square of light that was the open doorway, and the black silhouette that occupied it. "Hey," the American croaked. His throat ached and his eyes burned. He hadn't been able to sleep at all. Heero stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, shutting out the bright light from the hallway. He didn't say a word. Duo sat up and listened to the soft footfalls on the carpet as his roommate approached the edge of his bed. His eyes adjusted to the darkness again and he watched his approach with baited breath. Once Heero came to stand by the bed, the younger man stilled and seemed to be waiting for Duo to make the next move. So, Duo scooted to the edge and swung his legs over. He was seated right in front of Heero; if he reached out he could touch him, but he wasn't going to. "I'm sorry," was the first thing he said, although he still hadn't been able to figure out what he had done wrong. He knew he had pushed him, but Heero didn't push back, nor did he pull away; he touched him and seemed eager to. "Where have you been? I've been worried about you. I couldn't find you. I thought we were playing a game. I never meant to upset you," Duo rambled. Heero remained silent. He stared down at him but his eyes were unreadable in the low light. His body language was relaxed, with his arms hanging at his sides and his hips tilted forward, but Duo wasn't sure if he could trust that, since he had misread him earlier that night. Duo swallowed audibly in the silence and parted his lips to release a trembling breath. The atmosphere in the bedroom made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, but it wasn't a bad kind of tension. The air was electrified with anticipation. He watched, enthralled, as slim hands moved and started to unbutton the silk, white blouse. The fabric slid off of Heero's shoulders and gathered at his elbows; he slipped out one arm and the shirt cascaded down to the wrist of the other. Once it was off his body, he folded it over once and carefully draped it over the empty surface of the nightstand. When he looked at Duo again, a small, shy smile graced his perfect lips, and Duo understood. It's Chanel. He examined the half-undressed body in front of him, regretting the lack of light. He could see sharp shoulders, wiry arms, dark nipples, an incredibly slim waist, and shadows licking at hipbones. As Heero breathed calmly, his lower ribs showed through the skin. He was very thin, but not unhealthily so. His frame made him appear both boyish and feminine at the same time - a paradox, but one that fit him well. His neck was so long. His bangs fell over his eyes as he dipped his head down. Duo swallowed again, his mouth going dry. His fingernails dug into his own thighs and would leave crescent shaped marks. They hurt but they were a necessary distraction. Finally, Heero whispered: "Touch me, Duo." Duo's breath hitched in his throat. He reached out reverently and placed his hands on the hips in front of him. His hands looked enormous gripping the slim hips. He moaned and pulled the other one step closer, so he was standing between Duo's knees. He leaned forward and placed a kiss low on his abdomen, midway between the belly button and the waistband of his jeans. Heero's stomach tightened in response, and his fingers delved into Duo's hair. Duo kissed the skin again, and then blew hot air on the wet mark he'd left. "Nnnn..." The fingers raked through his hair. After worshiping the exposed skin in front of him, Duo guided Heero to sit on his lap, straddling his thighs. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and lapped at it briefly before trailing his lips further up - too impatient for the time being. He nipped at Heero's collarbone and jawline along the way, before pressing their mouths together in a kiss that communicated desperation coming from the both of them. Heero's lips were so soft and pliant, soon parting for him so their tongues could meet. One minute, Heero was a docile kisser, letting Duo explore his mouth as he pleased; and the next, he fought him for dominance. Duo moaned into the kiss. His big hands moved up Heero's sides, and hooked under his armpits to hoist him forward in his lap so they could grind their pelvises together. He felt the hard length in Heero's jeans; it was the first time he felt another man's arousal. It was a heady rush. For a moment, the kiss became sloppy, but he soon regained control of himself and the kiss, cupping one hand on the back of Heero's head to angle his face as he needed. The other hand settled on the small of his back, until a drawn-out moan coming from the younger man encouraged Duo to paw at his ass, his fingers digging into the round cheek, and pressing Heero's lower body even more tightly to his. "Thank you. Thank you..." Duo mumbled against those perfect lips. "Don't. This is just me being selfish," Heero breathed in response. Duo wasn't sure what that meant, but he didn't want to ask any questions because he worried he wouldn't like the answers. Suddenly he was pushed down onto the mattress and Heero abandoned his mouth in favor of raining kisses on his chest. He bit into Duo's pec, startling the bigger man, and then soothed over it with his tongue. He also left a hickey or two. The American panicked when the other crawled off of him to stand by the bed. He sat up and reached for his hips again. "Don't go." "I'm just going to my bedroom to get some things." "I have condoms and stuff," he spoke hurriedly to stop Heero from trying to free himself from his grip. "Stuff?" "Lube." "What kind? Not the cheap stuff, right? Or some stupid scented shit." Duo chuckled, unsurprised that Heero had preferences for lube. He nodded at the nightstand and released him. Heero flicked on the light on the bedside table, and opened the drawer and pulled out the new box of condoms and the tube of lube that Duo had already used a couple of times while masturbating. "This'll due," he concluded and tossed them onto the bed, near the pillows. The orange light that washed over his body finally revealed him to Duo's eyes and highlighted his glow. His skin was perfect and smooth; he wanted to kiss every square inch of it. The jeans were starting to bother him though. "You're overdressed," Duo pointed out. The Japanese man nodded. He undid his jeans and pushed them down his legs - he was already barefoot. He folded them and threw them over a nearby chair. Duo was left staring again. His legs were skinny but shapely, and he could see the tone of muscles in his thighs. "You're beautiful," he whispered in admiration - "handsome" felt inappropriate - and ran his knuckles down one inner thigh, noting the skin was hairless and soft. "Do you shave?" "I wax... Is that bad?" Duo didn't answer him; instead, he placed a kiss on the thigh, and then continued to let his eyes feast on the sight of him. Heero's cock was swollen and the head peeked out over the top hem of his black briefs; when Heero realized what part of him Duo was staring at, he covered himself with his hands. Before Duo could assure him that he needn't be self-conscious about his male-anatomy for his sake - he was turned on by it, in fact - Heero bent over and flicked off the light; it took a while for Duo's eyes to adjust to darkness again. Heero instructed him to move further up the bed, and Duo did what he was told, lying down prone on his back in the center of the mattress. Soon, Heero was plastered to his side, one leg thrown over his, his erection prominent on Duo's hip - he had taken a moment in the dark to step out of his underwear. Heero's mouth demanded his full attention as he sealed their lips in another kiss. The American raised his hips off the bed and pushed down his underwear, and Heero assisted him in getting rid of it, tossing it across the room. Slim fingers wrapped around his arousal, now that it was free to touch, and Duo bucked. He wanted to feel Heero's manhood in his own hand, but he was too uncertain to dare to ask. The hand disappeared and Heero grabbed the tube of lube. He worked one-handed; since his right arm supported his upper body, he poured the clear liquid into a shadowy dip created by Duo's tense abdominal muscles, then ran his fingers through the slippery substance, coating his digits. Once satisfied that his fingers were slick, the smaller man reached behind himself, angling his pelvis and drawing his left leg up. His hand was out of Duo's line of sight, but he didn't need to see to know what he was doing; he was turned on even more by the thought. Heero placed openmouthed kisses along Duo's jawline, and worried his earlobe between his teeth. His breaths were sharp pants, hot in Duo's ear. His hips rutted against his partner, the head of his erection - leaking pre-come - felt wet against Duo's side. The younger man whined and whimpered as his body succumbed to pleasure. He placed his lips against a sensitive spot on Duo's throat, but he was too distracted to do much. Shaking his self-doubt, Duo offered: "Do you want me to do that? Prep you?" Obviously Heero was handling it, but he offered for selfish purposes, wanting it to be his fingers that made Heero feel good; wanting to explore him and find the sweet spot that prompted such delicious sounds to tumble from his lips. "No, I want to get myself ready and wet for you." "I wouldn't mind," he tried. "Actually, I'd-..." "It's fine, Duo. At least I know what I'm doing." Duo chuckled. "Okay. But next time, you could teach me." "I'm not interested in being your teacher," Heero grunted. To prevent them from arguing, Duo sealed Heero's lips with his. The kiss was angry at first, but the rage quickly melted into passion again. Heero brought his hand around and dipped his fingers into the puddle of lube on Duo's stomach, scooping up the last of it, and rubbed it between his ass cheeks. Duo groaned at how hot those fingers were against his skin - hot enough to burn him, it felt like. The warm body that had been pressed against his side rolled away. Heero positioned himself face down on the empty stretch of bed to Duo's left, and angled his pelvis up to expose his ass in a wordless invitation. Duo opened the box of condoms, spilling both strips of aluminum packages on the sheets. He tore one packet off and then swept the mess off the bed. He applied the condom on himself, noting that his hands were shaking with excitement and nervousness. "I've had anal sex before," he disclosed, "but not a lot." Heero twisted his head to look up at him. "You'll be fine." He chuckled sheepishly. "I was hoping to be a little more than 'fine'." He was relieved to see Heero smile at his joke. He climbed on top of him and rested most of his weight on one elbow. With his available hand, he grabbed hold of his cock and aimed it at the opening. He dropped his head down and placed a kiss on the back of his partner's neck. "I don't want to hurt you. Talk me through it, tell me what you want, tell me what feels good." "Put it in me, please... Just go slow." He nodded and pushed his hips forward. He looked down in concentration, watching the head of his erection press against Heero, but not being allowed past the ring of muscle until he pushed harder. Their moans blended together and became one, just as they did. Duo covered Heero's body with his; no amount of contact felt like it could ever be enough. He dipped his face into the crook of Heero's neck, and latched his mouth onto his shoulder to silence his own, needy cries. The channel contracted and relaxed around him as Heero needed a moment to adjust to his size. The Japanese man had his face buried in the pillow, muffling his groans. "Fuck, Heero... Was that too fast?" "No," he mewled. "It's good. Fuck me, please." Duo raised himself up again, his hands on either side of Heero sinking into the mattress as his arms supported his weight. He slowly built up the rhythm, always listening for sounds of discomfort, but Heero only moaned favorably, encouraging him to become more rough. He enjoyed the sight of the expanse of golden skin that was Heero's back; it glowed with a sheen of sweat. His hair was starting to get dark and damp at the nape of his neck. He had reared himself on his elbows, his head hung down. His shoulders were tense. Every thrust wrought a deep, satisfied moan out of him and after a while, those moans evolved into cries. Duo stilled, taking a moment to appreciate the heat and tightness that enveloped him, without the added overwhelming friction. He leaned down and rained kisses on the sharp shoulder blades. "You feel so good," he whispered. The other grunted in response: "You too." He licked a trail up the spine and then sucked on the bump of the vertebrae at the base of the neck. "I want to see your face. I want to see your eyes..." He'd drown in them for sure, but that was what he wanted: to disappear forever in the mysterious, blue depth that was Heero. "No." When Heero shook his head, his hair danced. "I want to be on all fours." Disappointment made way for a new wave of excitement. Duo maneuvered himself up on his knees, pulling Heero's hips up with him, positioning his partner on his hands and knees. The view didn't change much, but the symphony of pleasurable sounds did. Duo figured the new angle was more satisfying for Heero. The position change also gave Heero more mobility, and he enthusiastically rocked his hips back to meet every thrust. Usually, his stamina was something to be proud of - many women had complimented him for it - but Duo knew that he wasn't going to last long during this go-round. He dug his fingers into Heero's sides as he held onto his tiny waist. He released one hand and moved it down to Heero's abdomen, feeling the tense muscles contract with every harsh breath. His hands trailed up to his chest, dragging his fingers along the sternum, and with Heero's every moan, he could feel the vibrations in the ribcage. His hands traveled South again, ghosting over the plains of his stomach, stopping when he felt the dip of his belly button. "Can I touch you?" He asked. "I want to feel you in my hand." "Nnn. You- You don't have to do that, Duo." "I want to," he reiterated. He leaned forward and nosed along Heero's spine. He quietly admitted to the dirty thoughts that clouded his mind: "I want to feel you pulse in my hand, and I want to fucking milk the come out of you when you orgasm." "Jesus fuck!" Heero lowered his chest back down onto the mattress, crossing his arms underneath himself - Duo regretted the loss of contact between his chest and Heero's back, and the way their sweaty skin rubbed together. Without Heero's body to lean on Duo straightened up to ease the toll on his back. He waited patiently for Heero to give him permission to jerk him off, although he didn't understand his partner's hesitation; he thought he made it very clear to Heero that he had no objections with touching his cock. It was novel for him; the fact that it was all new and unknown made it all the more exciting. After a long delay, Heero answered: "Yeah. Yeah, okay." Duo slowed down their rhythm so he could focus, and hold off his own climax for as long as he could. He delicately traced the shape of Heero's erection with his fingers first, exploring the length and thickness of the shaft, the ridge of the crown and the smooth, slick surface of the tip and slit at the underside of the head. The cynical part of him still expected him to freak out - or, to a lesser extent, "lose his cool" - the moment he touched another man's arousal after a lifetime of only worshipping the female body, but he only became hot and bothered in all the right ways. He wrapped his fist around him, feeling him throb and twitch, and he listened to the moans that accompanied his ministrations. Duo knew he was addicted; he felt powerful and, for the first time since they started, he knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what would feel good and how to get Heero to make even better sounds. Who knew all those years of masturbation would actually come in handy? - Excuse the pun. Before long, he had Heero unraveled - learning and adjusting to the slight difference in the way he liked to be touched - and his lover was keening his name. "I'm close," Duo managed to say through gritted teeth. Heero nodded fervently, mewling and moaning incessantly, leaving him unable to speak. "I'm definitely-... Gonna come!" A loud cry erupted from him and he took his hand off Heero's cock for fear of grasping him to tightly. He wasn't just gently nudged over the edge, but propelled. During the freefall, the erratic thrusts slowed more and more. Duo thought he had gone blind, but he simply squeezed his eyes shut without even being aware of it. He blinked his eyes open and sucked in a desperate breath like he had just resurfaced after being held under water for too long. With his senses and bodily control returning to him, he quickly encircled Heero's erection with his hand again and finished him off. When the younger man came, it wasn't with a loud wail or deep groan. As vocal as he had been the entire time, his orgasm overcame him with a soft whimper, and a breath that hitched in the back of his throat. Duo almost missed that it had happened, but soon felt the warm semen spill onto his hand. He worked his tight fist down the length of the shaft a few more times, milking him as he said he would. He knew he had to get out and rid himself of the condom before he went soft, so with regret, he detached himself from his lover and pulled out carefully. As soon as the connection between their bodies was lost, Heero collapsed onto the mattress, like the power plug had been pulled out of him. Duo took off the condom and stood beside the bed on shaky legs. He waited for his Jello-knees to solidify before he dared to take the first step towards the door. "I'll be right back, gonna get something to clean us up." In the bathroom, he trashed the used condom and quickly washed himself with a wet washcloth, before taking another washcloth and a small towel back into his bedroom. Heero had rolled onto his side, and lay with his legs drawn up and his arms bonelessly draped in front of him. His eyes were closed, his mouth was open; he still hadn't caught his breath. Duo kneeled next to him and gently wiped him clean, met with no resistance. Once his responsibilities were done, he lay down beside him, facing him, but with two feet of distance between them. He listened to Heero's breathing as it evened out and he knew he was falling asleep; he was exhausted and probably still a little drunk, like Duo was. Heero was lying on top of the sheets and Duo didn't want to disturb him, so he got up again and fetched the fuzzy blanket that they kept on the couch to snuggle into on cold TV-nights. It was summer now, but Duo didn't want to risk him getting cold. He draped the blanket over him, then laid down closely behind him so they could share its warmth. A restlessness settled in his gut - a twisting coil of concerns and questions - but he soon fell asleep regardless and in his dream, he relived the night. X Duo awoke to the smell of orange blossom, sweat and sex. Waking up next to Heero the morning after was an experience, even while he still had his eyes closed. He took in a deep, greedy breath, the smell getting stronger as he slid his head forward on the pillow it rested on, and the tip of his nose encountered the back of his lover's neck. He smiled and curled the arm that had been draped over Heero's waist, pulling him back against him in a hug. The smaller man slept like a log, his breaths soundless but deep and slow. The blanket was somewhere down at their legs. Cuddling up together had proven to be warm enough. Duo swallowed, feeling the dryness of his throat and his stomach growled in need. His hangover wasn't as bad - staying up late and drinking coffee as he waited for Heero to come home had taken the edge off. The headache was barely noticeable, and he knew he would feel almost as good as new if he just had some water, an Advil, and a nice breakfast with coffee. Expecting Heero to soon wake up to the same basic needs, he forced himself to get out of bed, slowly rolling over so he wouldn't wake the other. Without the body heat radiating behind him, he could get chilly, so Duo covered him with the blanket. He then retrieved clean underwear, a pair of sweatpants and a shirt from his closet. Even the soft rustle of the clothes as he stepped into them had him wincing and checking the sleeping figure on the bed. Heero continued to sleep. Duo went into the bathroom to relieve himself and took a moment to re-braid his hair, smiling as he reminisced about how it had gotten all messed up. He shivered, remembering Heero's fingers on his scalp. In the kitchen, he got to work making waffles for the both of them, and washing the fresh strawberries that he had bought with the intention of making a smoothie, but he had a different craving that morning. He swallowed two Advil, just to be sure, and drank an entire glass of water. Meanwhile, the coffee machine brewed a double morning fix. He was as quiet as possible, romanticizing the idea of breakfast in bed. They had trays that they used for TV dinners and Duo made thankful use of one, loading up both plates of waffles with strawberries and whipped cream - he felt like spoiling them both - two cups of coffee, and a glass of water with two Advil for Heero. He walked back into the bedroom and knelt by the edge of the bed, putting the tray down on the mattress. He smiled as he took in the sight of his roommate, his friend, his lover. Heero's small hands had gathered up the hem of the blanket and hugged the bundle of fabric to his chest. His expression was peaceful, his skin glowed, and his hair was even more tousled than usual. Duo was pleased to have been the cause of it all. He reached out and covered one hand with his, giving a gentle squeeze. "Heero..." The dark, perfectly arched eyebrows furrowed together. The touch, the sound of his name and the smell of the food woke him from his sleep. Heero opened his eyes, revealing their magnificent shade of blue; in combination with the warm tone of his skin, his eyes were like sapphires set into a golden jewel. There was a moment of confusion as he took in the scene he had awoken to, his frown deepening, but then his features relaxed and he offered Duo a timid smile. He pulled the blanket up to under his chin. "Good morning." "Good morning, beautiful." Heero's eyes lit up and he giggled lightly. In that moment, Duo fell even more in love with him. "I made breakfast." "That's nice." "Can I come back in bed and share it with you?" "It's your bed." Duo took that as permission and climbed on, taking care to bypass the tray of food and drinks. He settled next to Heero, who sat up straight and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders to keep himself covered and warm. "Want these first?" Duo held up the glass of water and the pills. "Yes, thank you." Heero adjusted the blanket so it was over one shoulder and under the other armpit, freeing that one arm. He popped the pills into his mouth and then accepted the glass of water, emptying it. Duo put the tray between them. He didn't like the distance it created, but he figured it would be what Heero preferred, and it was the easiest way for them to both have access to their breakfast. He started with his coffee, drinking it black, and watched Heero sweeten his coffee with sugar and milk before taking his first sip. Heero then dipped a strawberry into the dollop of whipped cream on his waffle and brought it to his lips. He smiled as he caught Duo staring. When he took a bite of the red fruit, it left some whipped cream on his top lip; he put the second half of the strawberry into his mouth and chewed it, before he thumbed the cream off his lip and licked his thumb. They locked eyes and both chuckled. They were halfway through their breakfast when Duo spoke again. "We should probably talk about last night." "Probably." Heero was less than enthusiastic. "Do you regret it?" The question hurt, but it had to be asked. Heero shook his head. "I don't. But I should." Duo decided to focus on the silver lining: he doesn't regret it. "Why?" "Why don't I regret it, or why do I think I should?" Duo shrugged. "I don't regret it because I wanted it and it was good. But I should regret it because it was selfish. It was inconsiderate towards your feelings for me." "Why?" Duo felt stupid for repeating the same question, but he wasn't very eloquent as he tried to process everything. His headache was getting worse again. "You're in love with me, but I'm not in love with you." He forgot about the headache when he was hit with the heartache. "I care so much about you," Heero elaborated. "I love that we're friends now. I'm attracted to you, of course, but I'm not in love... I've been-... I've been lonely, after Logan." "What are you talking about - you've been with lots of guys since Logan," Duo snapped, bitter at how things weren't turning out the way he had hoped. Heero glared at him. "Really? You're going to accuse me of being a slut again?" Duo shook his head miserably and buried his face in his hands. "No. No, I'm sorry. I'm just... hurting." "I have been with a lot of guys after Logan," Heero concurred, "like I've been with a lot of guys before Logan. But it's different, because I've started to realize it might never happen for me; it might never work. So, I haven't really been with anyone. I'm too much of a man for the 'straight' boys, and I'm not man enough for the gay boys. But the way you looked at me last night, the way you wanted me, made me feel just right and I wanted to have that, even for just one night." The American raised his head and stared at him, noting his forlorn expression. He didn't fully understand what he was saying, or why he was saying it, but his earlier resentment at the rejection made way for sympathy. "You are more than 'just right' to me - you are perfect." Those lips that Duo finally knew intimately formed a sad smile. Heero continued: "I walked away in the club... because I knew it wasn't fair to you, and in the long run it wouldn't get me what I wanted either. But when I came home, I hated the thought of sleeping alone in my bed-..." Suddenly he burst out in sobs, startling Duo because the Japanese man had seemed so composed. His body shook as he cried, and he used the one free hand to cover as much of his face as he could. Duo moved the tray away, and scooted against him and rubbed circles on his back, wanting to console him. "I'm sorry. I'm such an awful person. You're such a wonderful guy and I'm-..." "You're not an awful person." Duo kissed the bare shoulder. "I wouldn't be in love with an awful person - I have good taste," he said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. He was grateful for the small chuckle his joke elicited. "You're amazing, and caring, and funny, and strong; you've been dealing with this - whatever - and I can tell it's a struggle, but you're doing it and you still smile." "I've been a wreck!" Heero argued with a self-deprecating laugh. "I think you're handling it with grace." Heero faced him, a pensive look in his eyes. "You always say the nicest things." "That's because I'm a good roommate, I'm a good friend, I'm a good lover-" "Eh, you'll get there," Heero deadpanned. Duo's eyes widened at the joke, but he continued undeterred: "And I'd be a good boyfriend too. I know you're not in love with me, yet," he emphasized, "but when two people start dating, they don't have to be in love right off the bat. You say you like me and that you're attracted to me; isn't that enough to give me a chance and see what will come?" Duo suspected Heero was much closer to falling in love with him than he was willing to admit, to either of them. The blue eyes turned sad; a sudden storm of emotion clouded them. "I don't deserve you, Duo." He leaned in close, wanting to kiss those lips and make him forget about whatever it was that made him look so heartbroken and discontent with himself. "Maybe you should let me be the judge of that..." Heero inched closer, drawn to him. Their lips were nearly touching and Duo could feel the electricity between them, the sparks tingled on his lips. Duo felt Heero's breath on him as he whispered: "Can we please just stay friends?" He swallowed the lump in his throat - either his heart or his stomach - and all else he could do was nod. X No more than two days later, they wound up in bed together again. The details of how it all started were fuzzy in Duo's mind; most of what was happening wasn't registering. They met in the bathroom. Of all things, Heero had been plucking his eyebrows and Duo watched for a minute, self-consciously tracing a finger along his own bushy brows - he always kind of liked their unkempt appearance; they looked masculine, and as long as he didn't have a unibrow, he figured he should leave them as they were. He asked if it was okay to take a quick shower, and Heero offhandedly reminded him that they'd seen each other naked - and up close - at that point, so he wasn't bothered. Duo stripped on the spot, pretending not to notice that Heero's gaze darted back and forth between their reflections in the mirror. When Duo emerged from the shower stall - wet, steamy and unabashedly naked - his roommate was in the process of applying lip balm, swirling his ring finger in the small, metal container and dabbing it onto his lip. His hand froze mid-task as Duo came to stand behind him. Next thing Duo knew, they were in the narrow hallway, meaning to go in opposite directions, but as their bodies brushed by each other, they both halted. Then he had Heero pressed against the wall and rutted against him while he attacked his lips, tasting the subtle, cherry flavor of the balm. He carried the smaller man into his bedroom, the towel around his waist had dropped along the way. Heero was on all fours again - he had insisted - and seemed more than content to let Duo ram into him, but Duo wasn't satisfied. Following the last time, he did some preemptive Googling - in preparation of them losing control around each other again - and informed himself on the most favorable sex positions for the receiving partner, with regard to prostate stimulation. He just wanted to make sure it was the best possible experience for Heero; he'd feel selfish otherwise. "Is this, like...good for the prostate?" Heero let out a breathy chuckle but didn't answer him - although maybe the chuckle should've been taken as an answer in its own right. "I'm serious - I want to make you feel good." "It is good, don't worry about it." "But..." Duo chewed on his lips. "What's the best way to hit your prostate?" Google already told him the answer, but he wanted Heero to tell him; maybe it was different for him. He gasped and stilled the movement of his hips when Heero gripped his muscles tightly around him; Heero threw a look over his shoulder and growled: "This isn't a fucking class at the learning annex." "I just want to experience giving you that pleasure." "Duo, you're fucking thick; you've been stimulating my prostate the entire time." Heero sounded impatient and squeezed his muscles around him, this time in an attempt to prompt him to start moving again. "But there are better positions, right?" Duo understood that he might be overthinking it and ruining the mood with all of his questions, but he didn't know why Heero was being so resistant. Then a thought occurred to him. "Is on your back the best position?" That had been the consensus on that one forum he spent way too much time on. "Jesus... Duo." "Why don't you want to be on your back? Why won't you let me see you?" "Fuck." Heero straightened up, arching his back so his shoulders rested against Duo's chest. He reached an arm back and grabbed the base of Duo's braid, pulling his head forward so they were cheek to cheek. "It's usually good like this. Pull out nearly all the way and push back in, hard." He sounded irritable. Duo followed his instructions to a T and as he slammed back in, Heero clenched his jaw shut and threw his head back on Duo's shoulder. Finally, he could see his face - if only one side of it - and the myriad of emotions and sensations expressed by the most minute changes of his features were mesmerizing. He repeated the action a few more times, watching Heero's reactions closely and feeling him tighten around him; he soon figured out exactly where the sweet spot was located, and how to angle both their pelvises and thrust into him for the strongest effect. "Uhh... Nnnn. Stop-... Stop staring at me." Duo didn't know how Heero even knew he had been gawking at him - those blue eyes were squeezed shut the entire time. Cheekily, he responded: "You said it was okay to look. You liked it, remember? Open your eyes, see how I'm looking at you right now." Heero cracked his eyes open and peered at him distrusting, but Duo knew he would see nothing but lust, love and admiration. He closed his eyes again and opened his mouth to moan. "You're perfect," Duo whispered in his ear. He let his hands play with the pert nipples and massage the tight stomach, before reaching down and grabbing Heero's neglected erection; the blue eyes flew open again and there was a flicker of panic. "It's okay," Duo assured him, kissing the shell of his ear. "I love feeling you in my hand - so hot, so hard..." Heero's eyebrows pinched into a frown and for a moment his expression was one of confusion, as if he had to figure out whether or not he enjoyed Duo's fist pumping up and down his length and thumbing the sensitive head. Eventually his features relaxed, and he surrendered to the sensations he was subjected to, both inside and out. Duo stroked one hand up and down his erection, and the other hand up and down his stomach, feeling the muscles flutter under his touch. He kissed his neck and his cheek, wishing to kiss his lips but he couldn't reach further than the corner of his mouth. He was lightheaded; he was in a state of euphoria that he normally couldn't achieve until after his orgasm. "I've never felt this way before..." "Don't," Heero warned him not to get too sappy on him. "Ahh! Hold my hips and fuck me hard. Make it deep and hard!" Duo did as he was told, adjusting his grip on Heero's body and thrusting into him powerfully. They were both getting close to their climax, but Heero wasn't touching himself, making Duo wonder if he could come without direct stimulation. "Shouldn't you jerk yourself off?" He asked through gritted teeth. "I want you to come first." He promptly did - he slammed his pelvis against Heero, burying himself to the hilt. His body went rigid with the force of his climax. The small, intimate gesture of Heero covering his hands on his hips with his own added to Duo's high. He sunk his teeth into the shoulder in front of him as he rode out his orgasm. Once he was starting to relax, he smoothed over the imprint of his teeth with his tongue. Heero brought himself to completion quickly, more like an afterthought, before Duo's spent manhood would go soft and he'd have to pull away to get rid of the condom. He came with another whimper, catching his come in his palm. When he noticed that Duo had been looking down at him pleasuring himself over his shoulder, he became tense and irritable. "Get out, before you lose that condom inside me." Duo didn't know why, but the magic had definitely gone.
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