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"The Neon Spectrum"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: Warnings: Angst! Drama! Hurt/Comfort elements!
Language! Sexual confusion/identity crisis! Gender identity crisis!
Homophobia! Transphobia! Violence (non-explicit)! SEX (explicit)!
Minor Dom/Sub Dynamic (honestly so mild it might not even be worth
mentioning)! Pairings: 2x1, 3x4 Summary: Duo finds out life isn't black and white when he realizes he's in love with his gay roommate. But Heero has no interest in dating a 'straight' man while he struggles with his own identity. AN: This story explores the sexuality spectrum as well as the gender spectrum. That means this story includes a Gender-Bending/Genderqueer/Gender-Fluid/Non-Binary Gender Identity character (read: feminization and crossdressing). If that is not something you are open to, please skip this story. If you decide to read this story, please remember that the featured characters are individuals and are not written to represent an entire group of people. I'm not making any statements on what it means to be queer or gender queer. Neither sexuality nor gender identity can be generalized across people – it's different for everyone – and this story is about the experiences of two individuals. I don't mean any disrespect, to anyone, and I hope I've handled the subject with the sensitivity that it deserves. Beta: Shima Yi (Thanks so much for doing this!)
"The Neon Spectrum" Chapter TEN - Everything, Anything, Nothing I think I'm falling in love with you. I think I'm ready. I think. It wasn't much, but it gave Duo hope. The following Sunday was a great, lazy day; they spent it cooped up in their apartment. Heero wore one of Duo's shirts and - at his request - the socks from the night before. They cuddled up on the couch and ate a lot, but missed lunch because they both fell asleep. In the evening, they ordered pizza so they could have pizza-night after all. At the end of the night, Heero slipped down onto the floor, at Duo's feet, and he treated him to a blowjob while he jerked himself off - Duo wasn't even aware of it until, afterwards, Heero rushed to get a wet cloth to clean his come off the rug. Duo called him a "messy girl", and Heero tossed the soiled cloth at him, making them both laugh. They headed into their own bedrooms because Heero didn't think they should rush things - the relationship process was already plenty expedited by them living together - but Duo couldn't sleep. His bed still smelled of sex and Heero, having neglected to change the sheets, and it made him miss having that body beside him all the more. He extended his hand and stroked the vast empty space next to him, smoothing the folds out of the sheets. At 1:20 AM his phone lit up; Duo rolled around and grabbed it off his nightstand. He smiled at the text message on the lock screen. Just my roommate: I miss u Before he replied, he thought to change Heero's ID in his list of contacts. Miss u 2, feeling lonely Come join me Everything: no He pouted, but then leaped out of bed when he received the next message: You come here. Clutching his phone to his chest, Duo hurried out of his bedroom. Even though he had been invited, he still halted at the door and knocked. "Who's there?" Heero wondered with a comically over-acted tone. Then he said: "Come in here and hold me, you oaf." Duo opened the door just enough to slip inside and closed it behind him. Heero's room smelled nice; it smelled of new clothes, make-up, light perfume and leather. The room was pitch black. He waited a while for his eyes to adjust, but he still couldn't see a damn thing. "Is there anything on the floor that is going to make me trip and embarrass myself - or kill myself?" "All clear." Remembering the simple layout of the bedroom, Duo cautiously walked forward. He got a little nervous letting go of the wall and stepping into nothingness, but his searching hands soon found the tall iron frame at the foot of the bed. He took a few more steps and, when he reached down, his hand found the silk sheets over the soft mattress. He slipped under the sheets and scooted forward until he found the warm body waiting for him. Heero turned around in his bed so his back was facing him. He searched for Duo's arm; when he found it, he grabbed the wrist and pulled it around him. He entwined their fingers against his chest and sighed when Duo spooned behind him. "This is better," Duo said and kissed the back of Heero's neck. "Just for one night. We are becoming way too codependent." Heero kept his promise. He didn't invite Duo into his bedroom again the next night. Duo eventually fell asleep holding his phone. He missed him, but it kept things kind of exciting too. They only spent the nights in each other's bedroom after a date that ended with sex. Not all of their dates ended in bed; when they didn't, Duo would walk Heero to his bedroom door - like walking home a date - and they'd share a kiss goodnight and part ways. It was oddly romantic. He had to beg Quatre, but the blonde agreed to let him take Heero out on a date for his birthday, as opposed to celebrating it with friends. Duo got warm and fuzzy feelings thinking about how last year, he got a pity invite to Heero's birthday bash - before then, he was never even invited. This year, Heero was happy to spend his birthday alone with him. The birthday boy looked so good in black slacks and a black turtleneck - the front tucked into the pants. He was manly, yet elegant, and dressed the part for the fancy restaurant Duo was taking him. The forty-minute drive in the Uber alone set him back quite a bit, and the dinner would be more expensive still, but Duo wanted it to be a special evening. The restaurant was on the top floor of a tall hotel, overlooking the city. Beyond the perimeter of the suburbs, the highway was visible in the distance and, with the constant traffic, the road looked like a string of white and red lights draped across a black landscape. Their table for two had a perfect view and Heero's smile was beaming as he appreciated everything. A waiter poured them the wine of Duo's choosing, then handed them both leather bound menus and gave them a minute to look over the options. "Hm, no curly fries," Heero remarked, feigning disappointment. "I'm sure you'll find something you'll like." Duo looked over his own menu, torn between several dishes. "What are you getting as an appetizer?" "I was thinking the crab cakes...but it doesn't say anywhere that they're 'the best crab cakes in the world', so how am I supposed to know if they're any good?" Duo let out a hearty laugh. "Alright, Sassy." Heero hid his smirk behind his menu. When the waiter returned, they ordered their appetizers and main course, already looking forward to the separate dessert-menu. They drank wine and leaned in close across the table, their voices soft as they spoke; the topic evolved from the view, to how their day had been, to last year's birthday party and what an asshole Heero's boyfriend had been. "You're not breaking up with me, right?" Heero verified. "As if you'd get rid of me that easily. No, you're stuck with me." Just as their appetizers were served, a couple was seated at the next table over. Duo stole a glance, his eyes drawn by the glitters on the young woman's dress; that was when he noticed her boyfriend looking at the two of them, with an expression on his face like he was trying to solve a complicated math problem. Duo didn't think much of it and focused his attention on Heero; he asked how he was enjoying his crab cakes. "They're delicious. Best in the world, I'd dare say," Heero shot up a cheeky look. "Now that it's official, they ought to put that on the menu." "Why yes, they really 'ought to'," he concurred, mocking his choice of words with a posh British accent. "Hey, just because I'm a mechanic doesn't mean I'm always a woulda-coulda-shoulda kind of guy," Duo defended himself and as punishment, he stole one of the crab cakes off the plate for a bite. He was going to put the rest of it back, but Heero said: "Keep it. It has had your dirty mouth on it," he deadpanned. Duo ate the rest of it and tapped his mouth as he chewed. "This has been in some nasty places." Heero chuckled. "I know." They both blushed and laughed, and Heero stole one of Duo's canapes. From the corner of his eye, Duo noticed the man at the table next to them looking over again, but he ignored him. What the fuck is his deal? The waiter came to clear away their empty plates and serve them more wine. Knowing they would have some time before the main course, Duo couldn't wait any longer to give Heero his present. He reached into the breast pocket of his jacket and produced a square, flat box, wrapped in black paper and a silver bow. He put it on the table and nodded at it. "Better than socks, I promise," he said when he caught his date's apprehension. "Duo, you didn't have to get me a gift. I noticed the menu didn't list any prices; I know what that means." "I wanted to give you a real gift. Come on, it's not even that expensive, so don't get any ideas." He nudged it closer towards him. "Alright," Heero snatched the present off the table in a way that betrayed his excitement. "If you insist." "I do." Heero tucked his index finger under the bow and pulled it loose; the wrapping paper tore away easily. He shot a look up at Duo before lifting up the lid, revealing his present in the velvet-lined box. Heero's smile was beautiful as he appraised the three simple, matching bangles: one silver, one gold and one rose gold. Each one was inscribed with a different word on the inside - "nothing", "anything" and "everything". "They're gorgeous", Heero said. He took them out of the box and angled them in the light, catching sight of the inscriptions. "What do they mean?" "You can decide that yourself," Duo answered. He felt giddy seeing the happy glint in Heero's eyes. "For example, you can use them to communicate preferred pronouns, whenever your ready - one for 'he', one for 'she' and one for 'they - or indicate if you're on either end, or somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. But it can be anything you want. It's not for me - I'd love to understand you with a single glance, but I could never anyway," he flashed a grin, "It can just be another way for you to express yourself, even in public when you feel like you can't express who you are, without anyone else needing to know what they mean. It's just for you. And if there's nothing you'd want to say with them, you can just wear them because they're pretty." Duo kept his voice hushed, so Mister Side-Eye at the next table wouldn't overhear. It was none of his business. "They are pretty," Heero agreed wistfully, turning them in his fingers, making the light reflect off of them. "What about the inscriptions?" "Just me being cheesy." Duo shrugged, and felt impish and embarrassed all of a sudden. Heero smirked. "Tell me," he urged. "Don't be sassy," he pleaded. "I can't make that promise. Besides, you love it when I'm sassy." Duo chuckled and then confessed the meaning of the words: "You're everything to me, I'd do anything for you and nothing can stand between us." Heero stared at him, wide-eyed, and then directed his gaze down at the bracelets. "Jesus, Duo." His voice was raw. Duo's heart shattered when he noticed his date wipe a finger by his eye. "What's wrong?" "I was feeling so manly today, and now you've gone and made me cry like a little girl," Heero said sheepishly. He wiped his eyes again before looking up with a breathtaking smile. Duo reached across the table and squeezed his hand, but regrettably, he noticed the waiter coming towards them and he gave his date a head's up. Heero put the box to the side to make room for his large plate, and his hands and the bangles disappeared under the table. "The lamb chops with balsamic reduction..." the waiter announced, "and the grilled halibut with cilantro butter. Enjoy your meals." "Thank you," the two said in unison and the waiter strode off. When Heero brought his hands up, he was wearing all three bangles on his left wrist. They fit him well, not too big so they could slip off easily and get in the way. Duo smiled and touched them and the slim wrist they adorned for a moment. "Looks good on you," he complimented. "I love them. Thank you." "Better than last year?" he teased. "Yes. Although, I'll have you know: I still have those socks. They're nice and warm; I wore them in bed all through last winter." Duo chuckled. "I'll have you know, I actually bought you a better gift last year..." Heero blinked at him. "You did? Why did you give me socks instead?" "I chickened out," the American explained with a shrug, "I was way too in my head about it." Heero smiled sympathetically. "What was it?" He felt a little embarrassed talking about it. "A scarf. A burgundy-colored, cashmere Tom Ford scarf." The other cocked his head sideways and a confused little frown appeared between his brows. "Why didn't you just give me the scarf this year? I love Tom Ford." A mile tugged at the corner of Duo's mouth. "No, you loved Tom Ford. It would have been the perfect gift last year, but not this year. I haven't seen you come home with a Tom Ford shopping bag in seven months." Heero laughed. "You are way too observant. Do you still have it?" "It's been hidden under my bed ever since," Duo admitted with a slight blush. "You should wear it yourself, I bet it'll look great on you." "I already have a scarf," he argued dumbly. "Honey..." They both laughed and continued with their main course and light conversation. Heero's foot found his under the table, and he planted it so their lower legs touched; the simple bodily contact comforted them both. They were both stuffed after finishing their plates, but could not resist the temptation of a sweet dessert, so they had the waiter bring them the dessert menu after he topped of their wine glasses again. When Heero suggested they share the slice of salted almond truffle tart with a wink, their neighbor exclaimed, too loudly to be ignored: "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Duo looked over, hoping his remark had nothing to do with them, but his heart skipped a beat when the man was looking right at him. "Excuse me?" "Honey," the man's girlfriend - or wife - tried to calm him down, but he paid her no heed. "Could you tone it down?" The man asked gruffly. "We're trying to enjoy a nice dinner here. We're not paying good money for dinner and a show. A freak show." Oh, you think you're clever, don't you? Duo narrowed his eyes at him. "What, exactly, is your problem, sir? We were enjoying a nice, quiet, dinner ourselves until now." He glanced at Heero when the younger man said his name; he could see the plea to keep the peace in his eyes, but Duo wasn't about to back down. This was precisely one of those moments that Heero had warned him would come, and he wasn't going to roll over and let some asshole insult them without letting him know how ignorant he was being. "I got nothing against queers," the man claimed, but the way he spat the word - like he barely stopped himself from calling them faggots - implied he was lying, if not to them, than to his girlfriend or to himself. "But I don't need to have my nose rubbed in it." Duo let out a scoff. "We weren't even doing anything." "Please! Holding hands; crying over a dumb gift; playing footsie under the table; now you want to feed each other some fucking tart." That was when Heero's foot disappeared, retreating back to his side of the table. "Honey," his partner said again and she shot the other couple an apologetic look. "No, don't 'honey' me as if I'm wrong!" The host of the restaurant, assisted by a waiter, noticed the exchange becoming heated and he approached the two couples and came to stand between the tables. "Is anything wrong?" "Yes!" Duo and the man said in unison. "He's being inappropriate with his boy-toy!" "He's being an ignorant asshole," Duo seethed in turn. "Please, sirs, let's not let this get out of hand," the host tried to placate them. The girlfriend looked up at the host. "If we could just be seated at a different table? Everything will be fine. We don't mean to cause a problem." "No!" Her boyfriend - or husband - argued. "We're not moving. They should move." "Duo, let's just skip dessert and go," Heero suggested. "No!" He objected but then he caught sight of Heero's eyes, begging him to not make the scene any worse. He just wanted to do the right thing and stand up against the jerk insulting him and his boyfriend, but he realized he wasn't making his date feel any better by trying to out-shout the guy. He conceded: "Alright. Yeah, let's go. We'll have dessert somewhere else." He pushed his chair back and stood up, and Heero gratefully followed suit. "Yeah, McDonald's or something," the man at the other table sneered. Duo didn't respond. He hooked arms with Heero and they headed for the bar at the other end of the restaurant, near the elevators. The host followed them and apologized profusely for the rudeness of the other guest. To compensate, the wine and the appetizers were on the house. Duo paid for the main course, and left such a generous tip that the wine might as well not have been free; then they left. They waited for an Uber in the downstairs lobby. "I'm sorry about shouting," Duo started. "I just wanted to stand up for you, knowing you've had to deal with asshats like that your entire life." "I just wanted us to get out of there," Heero replied. "Not for me. For you." Duo raised his eyebrows in question. "I hate that you have to deal with this too, from now on. Because of me." The American stepped forward and cupped his lover's sad face in his hands. He couldn't stand the self-loathing tone in Heero's voice. "Don't think like that. None of this is your fault." "I know that, but it doesn't feel like it," he explained miserably. Duo understood, but he didn't want Heero to burden himself with guilt; he had enough to deal with in his life, and it wasn't necessary. He worried about the younger man a lot, who had to face so many troubles because he was different. He wanted to rid Heero of all self-doubt and self-hatred and make him feel only happy and safe. Rather than trying to reason with that irrational feeling of responsibility, Duo connected their mouths and poured everything into the kiss. He held him close to him and was delighted when Heero wrapped his arms around his neck, pushing himself up on the balls of his feet to better receive the kiss. "Let's go home." Heero shook his head and bit his bottom lip coyly. "No?" "I wanna get a McFlurry." Duo let out a rumbling laugh. "That sounds good. Let's go check if our Uber is here." The car arrived to pick them up a few minutes later, and Duo asked him to go through the drive-thru when he noticed the golden arches along the highway on their way home. The remaining time left in the backseat of the car was more than enough for both of them to finish their ice cream, and for things to heat up between them again. Duo kept his gaze focused on the surrounding traffic, and tried not to react when Heero made use of the cover of darkness to reach across the distance between them and fondle him through his pants. He heard the softest clings as the three bangles knocked together with the movements of his wrist. When the car stopped in front of their building, Duo had money at the ready for the driver. He told him to keep the change and pulled Heero out of the car with him. Inside, he threw him against the wall next to the "up" button for the elevator. He pressed it before molding his body against Heero's and forcing his tongue into his mouth. He knew Heero liked him being rough because he told him, but it was also apparent in his reactions. He ground their pelvises together and loved the friction against the hard bulge between Heero's legs that matched his own. Heero clawed at the front of his shirt, dragging his nails down over his pecs and catching on the nipples. Duo bit into Heero's bottom lip and then suckled on it to soothe it. Once inside their apartment, they didn't make it to either bedroom. Duo fucked Heero against the front door, unleashing a primal need on him to which his lover responded most favorably. The Japanese man was vocal, not holding back a single groan or cry, and he muttered senselessly about how good it felt to be filled by Duo's "thick, throbbing cock". Duo called him a "dirty boy" - in contrast to the "pretty girl" he had been the other times - and Heero liked it just as much. "Your tight little ass feels so good. It's so good to me," Duo grunted in his ear. "Yeah! Oh! Fuck. Fuck me harder!" Duo willingly obliged, rocking into him with wild abandon. Knowing this wasn't going to last long for either of them, Heero continued to beg: "Touch my cock. Please! I want to feel your hand on me." Duo grabbed his dick and pumped him hard and fast with a tight fist, keeping rhythm with his thrusts; he didn't know who came first; it was too close to tell and the pleasure was too disorienting to try and figure it out. After catching their breath, supporting most of their weight against the door, Duo lifted the boneless bundle that was Heero's body into his arms and carried him to the nearest bedroom - his own - on shaky legs. He undressed them both. Heero was mostly unresponsive, his mind already on the fringes of consciousness. When they were both naked, he joined his lover in the bed, spooning behind him. Heero's hands lay limp on the pillow in front of his face, and Duo trailed his fingers from the shoulder to the wrist, where he toyed with the threesome of metal bangles. He kissed his ear and whispered over and over how much he loved him. He wasn't even sure if his love could hear him, or if he was already asleep. It didn't matter much; Heero wasn't ready to say it back anyway - and he shouldn't just to appease him. He had to mean it, he had to feel it. In the meantime, Duo was not going to stop telling him. He would remind him every day and wait patiently. Duo had almost fallen asleep himself, his fingers still absentmindedly stroking the bangles, when Heero shifted slightly and the digits of his other hand joined to fiddle with the jewelry on his left wrist. "I love them," he said again in gratitude. Duo smiled. "Will you tell me what they mean, if or when you decide on something?" "I will." Heero took hold of Duo's hand and brought it to his lips to kiss his calloused knuckles. Soon after, they fell asleep. The next day Heero was so sore that he winced every time he sat down - no matter how slowly and carefully he lowered his weight - but he promised Duo that he loved the roughness, and even loved the soreness; that eased some of Duo's guilt, and he couldn't help but smirk the next time Heero took a seat. X During Duo's lunch hour, the two of them texted back and forth. What r u making me 4 dinner tonight? What am i making u? Im not ur little wifey Duo chuckled. He was just being objectionable for the sake of the joke; technically it was Heero's turn to cook and he never minded. Fine, do u want me 2 get take-out? I do now What are you in the mood for? Everything is typing... Me? ;) Everything is typing... No, wtf U fucked me this morning, give a girl time to recova I want something spicy Indonesian? He suggested. Read my mind... Want a dessert too? Theres still a tub of mint-choc-chip in the freezer Duo made a face and typed quickly: We r not starting in on ur break-up ice cream! Bad luck! Superstition aint the way... He laughed as he caught the reference to Stevie Wonder's Superstition. "Texting with your boyfriend?" Duo looked up from his phone and spotted Jamie by the door, leaning forward, hanging his weight off the doorframe that he gripped with one hand. His phone buzzed in his hand, alerting him to more incoming messages, but he maintained eye contact with his coworker and replied coolly: "Yes. I am." It wasn't worth getting into Heero's gender identity - that wasn't the point. Besides, even though Heero referred to himself as a "girl" and "not his little wifey", he wasn't his girlfriend either that particular day. Jamie was a little taken aback. He probably had all kinds of clever comebacks prepared for when Duo would try to deny it, and now he was stumped for a response. Eventually, he asked: "So when did you become a fag?" "I didn't." The younger man was even more confused by Duo's seemingly contradictive answer and his calm demeanor. He'd been looking to pick a fight and was clearly disappointed that he wasn't succeeding in riling him up. "I don't understand." "I don't need you to." Duo's phone kept buzzing but he was focused on staring Jamie down. His coworker scoffed, having nothing clever to say. "Whatever, man." He waved his hand dismissively and walked away. Duo was proud of himself for not letting the situation escalate - like last time - and he gave himself a mental pat on the back. Heero warned him that things would change, now that his lifestyle wasn't "hetero-conformative", but he could handle it; it wasn't that big of a deal as long as he kept his cool. He glanced down at the screen of his phone and chuckled reading through the string of messages. Very superstitious, nothin more to say Very superstitious, devils on the way Come on, work with me here Babe? Don't u dare leave me on read like this, dont ignore me when im being funnt *funny U know im an attention whore He quickly explained: Sorry bby, Jamie was bugging me For a long time the bottom of the app just read: Everything is typing...and Duo waited with growing concern. Before Heero could send his message, Duo decided to assure him: It was nothing serious. Nothing; he had deleted whatever he had been writing. Then a new, short message appeared: Maybe we should talk tonight. Theres nothing 2 talk about, he promised him. I'm fine. I'm not letting it get to me. U wont always have that choice. Sometimes stuff just... gets IN Duo sighed. He understood and appreciated Heero worrying about him being confronted with homophobia, since it was the first time in his life that it was personal - that it wasn't just empty remarks about his long hair - but as long as he could keep the initial bout of anger in response to their ignorance at bay, he could stay in control of his reaction and his emotions. He wasn't going to let a repeat of Heero's birthday dinner happen; he should stand up for himself, but he had to be level-headed and mature about it. I love you for worrying about me, he typed. But theres nothing to talk about. Pinky promise. Its not always going to be easy, Heero responded. Someday something will hit u Maybe when u least expect it Pinky promise me ull talk with me then Duo smiled. Pinky promise Why isnt there an emoji for that? Duo hoped he would succeed in changing the subject. He wanted Heero to stop worrying. He took the bait. I hate emojis Not when ur drunk u dont I hate u He snickered. Liar! Read my mind... X "Honey! I'm ho~me!" Duo called jokingly when he stepped through the front door. He walked into the apartment and put the bag of Indonesian take-out on the kitchen counter. He took off his jacket and put it over the back of one of the chairs at the dinner table. "Babe? You here?" A reply finally came: "In my bedroom!" Duo started setting the table, expecting Heero to come out at any second, but once he grabbed the plates, cutlery and two bottles of beer, he realized Heero wasn't joining him. "What are you doing in there?" He came to stand at the other end of the hallway. The door to Heero's bedroom was ajar. "Just... trying on some stuff." Duo smiled and shook his head. He remembered his partner telling him that he placed another order online for more clothes. "Well hurry up, your 'something spicy' is waiting for you." He added with a cackle: "And dinner too!" "You're a funny, funny man," Heero replied sarcastically. "Get in here for a minute." Curious about seeing what he ordered from the online store, Duo headed down the hallway and pushed the door open. Heero's bedroom looked like a clothing store at the end of Black Friday, which - frankly - it oftentimes did. Two big boxes and tissue paper littered the floor, new clothes with visible tags were laid out on top of the bed, and the doors to the walk-in-closet were wide open; older pieces were draped over the chair and the cast iron foot of the bed. Heero stood at the center of it all, appraising his reflection in the full-length mirror next to the window. Duo was about to make a mock-snarky comment about his shopping addiction when his brain registered what his lover was wearing. Black, leather pants. Only black leather pants. The pants were a perfect fit on him: low-riding, hugging his shapely behind and clinging to his thighs, and tapering down to his ankles like the skinny jeans that he loved to wear - that made his legs look so toned and long. There were asymmetrical zipper details - one on the left thigh and one under the right knee - as well as two diagonal patches of ribbed leather, going up from the inner thigh to the outer thigh. Duo's gaze traveled up to his bare torso. His slim hips and his even slimmer waist - almost cinched, which helped him pull off the feminine fashion that he loved from time to time. His pert, dusty nipples. His slightly flushed chest from trying on all the clothes. His straight shoulders and wiry arms. All of it was on display and Duo gratefully took it all in, unaware of Heero's smirk in the reflection. Heero put his hands on his hips and cocked them playfully, snapping his partner out of his trance. "Do you like them?" Duo was unable to speak. He wanted to let his hands do the talking, so he closed the distance between them, being mindful not to step on anything, and he pressed himself against Heero's back. He curled his spine to lay his chin on his shoulder and, with his fingers, he traced the waistband from back to front. He stared at their reflection hungrily and reached lower to feel the supple leather, warm from Heero's body heat. His pale fingers explored, alternating feather light touches with kneading the flesh the leather was molded against. "They're McQueen," Heero said, as if that would mean anything to "Lumberjack-Duo". "Hmmm..." He turned his head to suck on a spot of Heero's neck that he knew to be sensitive. "They're hot. You're hot." He rocked himself against Heero's ass and simultaneously cupped the bulge that was prominently visible in the tight leather pants. "I like them," Heero agreed and scrutinized his own reflection, determined not to get distracted by Duo's touches. "I like me in them," he said with a contented sigh as his body disagreed with his set priorities, and started to respond to the loving ministrations. "I can't decide if I should keep them." "Keep them," Duo insisted, moving his mouth to worry the earlobe between his teeth. His tongue then flicked the silver stud in his ear. "They're McQueen," Heero repeated. Duo didn't know what he meant by that before, but he understood that this time, it meant they were very expensive. Still, though, the full impact of it was lost on him and he retorted glibly: "You're my queen." Heero let out a short laugh, like he pitied Duo's fashion-naiveté. "I don't have money like a queen though." The American never even thought about what all of his expensive clothing added up to, and how he could afford it. "If they're too expensive, why did you order them?" "Because I fell in love with them..." He replied pitifully. "I ordered them thinking they wouldn't fit me right anyways, so I could fall out of love with them. Technically, they're for women." Duo nodded; he had figured as much given the tight fit in the front, but in a grotesque way, he liked how they didn't quite accommodate the male form, in the sense that the outline of Heero's cock had been readily apparent, tucked to the left. It showed him off, even more so since he was getting aroused - although that couldn't be comfortable in the confines of the pants. Duo experienced a thrill at his own, conflicted emotions; part of him wanted to cover Heero up and never let him wear the pants outside of their apartment, while another part of him wanted his lover to pair the pants with one of his cropped shirts, then take him out and show him off to the world and make other men jealous. He shivered at the thought of everyone's gaze being drawn to the shape in the front of the pants, knowing that Duo was the only one allowed to touch that body. "It's not like I can't afford them," Heero started. Duo chuckled breathily. "But I'd definitely have to send everything else back." "Is there anything else from this order that's as good as these?" Heero smirked. "No." "You feel good in them, right?" He fondled him more strongly. "Nnnn... Yeah." "You like how your body looks in them?" Their eyes met in the mirror, but then Heero's blue gaze traveled down and Duo groaned. "Yeah," answered the younger man. "What about when you're on the other side of the spectrum?" Heero thought for a moment. "I think they'd look good with an oversized sweater, or a shirt dress." He leaned his weight against Duo and covered Duo's hand on his cotch with his own, making him press even harder and rocking into the touch. He started to pant and sweat beaded on his temples. Duo nodded and whispered in his ear: "Keep them." "... Okay..." He smirked and put his other hand on Heero's chin to tilt his face so he could finally kiss his mouth. Heero melted into the kiss and his knees nearly buckled. He let Duo's tongue ravish him, surrendering to Duo's dominance and allowing it to overwhelm him. The American interrupted the kiss long enough to ask: "What do you want, baby?" "I want you to fuck me," he groaned, but he quickly added - disappointing them both: "But I'm still sore from this morning. You fucked me so hard with your big cock..." Said cock twitched at the pathetic, needy whine from his lover. He had definitely been rough with him that morning, because that was how masculine Heero liked it in that moment - no stretching, no easing into it, no going-slow, no sweet-nothings. Duo liked it too, but there was more to sex than whether Heero was feeling masculine or feminine. Regardless, sometimes there was a defined dominant-submissive dynamic; Heero would fully submit to him, letting Duo overpower him and losing himself to a headspace that Duo didn't quite understand yet. And other times Heero would take charge - as a male, or as a female - and Duo was the one to let himself be led; or it would be a constant battle between the two of them; or they would be equals and it would be slow and loving. Heero was every kind of sexual partner, all wrapped in one, and Duo loved everything. "You wanted it hard; you begged me for it," Duo reminded him with a possessive snarl, "my little size queen." He ground his hips against Heero's ass. "Tell me what you want now, baby. I don't want to hurt you." Heero didn't have to think. "I want to rub our cocks together." "Hmmm, good choice." Without warning he twisted them around and threw Heero onto the bed. He landed on top of the clothes, but quickly raised himself up and pushed the items to the other side of the bed, explaining sheepishly: "If we get come on them, I can't send them back." Duo let out a deep laugh but then all humor faded from his mind and he crawled on top of Heero, pushing his legs open with his knees. They kissed deeply and Duo's fingers left red marks on Heero's skin as they explored his naked torso. Heero bucked his hips, but with Duo raised up on his hands and knees above them, there was no friction for him to get to. His hands were free to do with as he pleased, but the kept his fingers twisted into the pillowcase above his head, as if he was restrained and he pleaded helplessly: "Please get me out of these. It hurts. I'm so hard." Clearly, he was still in the same, submissive mood as that morning. Duo grinned darkly and let him suffer a little while longer, knowing full well he enjoyed some pain mixed with his pleasure - the sharp contrast between the two heightened the experience for him. When he could tell Heero couldn't handle any more, he opened up the front of the pants and pulled down his underwear to free him from the tight confines, but he didn't touch him after that, not giving him any more relief from the building pressure in his stomach. He unbuttoned his own jeans and pushed them down far enough to expose himself, and treated his length to a few pumps. Noticing Duo was paying attention to his own erection but not his, Heero begged senselessly: "Please, please... make me feel good... please..." "Don't worry, baby." Duo cupped his face and kissed him passionately, coaxing the other's tongue to come play with his. "I'm going to take care of you." "Yesss," he hissed. "You're so good to me..." "Hmmm, you reap what you sow." Duo nipped at the full bottom lip, pulling on the flesh and worrying it between his teeth before releasing. He scooted back and let his hands trail down the length of Heero's arms and down his sides, his touch becoming ticklish as digits ghosted over shadowy ribs. Suddenly, he gripped him more firmly at his hip, with his thumbs digging into the soft stretch of belly between the hipbones. He dipped his head down and licked at the erect nipples, getting them wet to give him a cool sensation as the saliva dried when his mouth navigated down his abdomen. Heero sucked in sharp breaths, holding them for a while before releasing each with a shudder. Duo smirked when his chin connected with the wet tip of Heero's erection that rested on his stomach. He sat up between Heero's spread legs and studied his writhing form for his own pleasure. He let him squirm and restlessly toss his head back against the pillow for a while. Muscles quivered under his skin and tendons stood out as his body fought to keep control of itself. His calves rubbed against Duo's outer thighs until Duo redirected his long legs to wrap around him, and his hands enjoyed the smooth texture of the leather pants. "Please..." The American kept stroking his hands up and down Heero's legs as he contemplated how to continue. He was definitely power-tripping on the control his partner had surrendered to him. You reap what you sow. He smirked. "First, you're gonna show me what a good boy you are, and then I'll reward you." "Yes. I'll be good. Anything!" Duo freed himself from the hold Heero's legs had on him and he moved up the bed to straddle Heero's chest, positioning his erection right in front of his face. To make it more comfortable for Heero, Duo grabbed the second pillow and used it to support his head. To allow him to prop him up higher, Heero disentangled his fingers from the pillowcase and his hands reached for Duo, but the bigger man stopped him. With a single hand, he pinned both wrists above the wild head of hair. "Only your mouth," he instructed, his voice sounding deeper and more commanding than it ever had before, and it had welcome effects on both of them. Heero parted his lips for him and Duo scooted forward to enter his awaiting mouth. The Japanese man didn't struggle against Duo's hand holding his arms down, and probably wouldn't move them even if Duo were to let go, but he kept his grip on the thin wrists, as an assertion of his dominance. With his free hand, he petted the wild hair and caressed the shell of the ear. Heero further relaxed, thanks to the gentle touch, and when Duo could tell that it was okay to do so, he rolled his hips forward until his entire length fit inside his mouth and throat. Heero's eyes fluttered shut and he moaned around the thick shaft. Words of praise tumbled from Duo's lips as he carefully rocked in and out of him, being mindful of when he had to pull back and give his partner time to catch his breath. "You're being such a good boy. I love your pretty lips. You're being so good." He felt his climax approaching - it as inevitable to come fast with Heero's warm, willing mouth and his skillful tongue - but he didn't want it to be over yet. With a groan and impressive self-control, he twisted his fingers in Heero's hair, holding him in place as he sat back and let his cock slip from his mouth. As expected, Heero tried to chase him. He kept his swollen lips parted invitingly as he attempted to raise his head, even as Duo's fingers tugging on his hair must have been painful. Duo sat back further, so he was out of reach; he released his hold on the hair, too afraid of hurting him, and petted his hand over the top of his hair. Duo released his clasp on Heero's wrist as well, curious to see what he would do. Heero's fingers were twitching around handfuls of pillow, but he didn't move them, even as he clearly yearned to touch his lover. "Please," Heero begged and his voice was deliciously hoarse following the onslaught on his throat, "come in my mouth." He looked up at him with needy, blue eyes. "Come in my mouth, sir." "Oh, fuck!" Duo exclaimed. He wasn't expecting Heero to address him like that. It elevated their play to a new level and Duo was excited to explore that further, but he tucked away all sordid thoughts for next time. Heero had been good to him and he promised him a reward. "I have something else in mind. Something better." He positioned himself between Heero's legs again and lay down on top of him. Their erections lined up and, with every minute movement of either of their hips, the sensitive skin rubbed together, made all the more pleasurable by the fact that Duo's cock was wet and slippery from saliva. Duo captured Heero's mouth in a kiss and they both moaned into each other as they rocked their pelvises. He inserted a hand between their bodies and squeezed their dicks together, providing more leverage. He thumbed both their slits - Heero's was especially dripping with pre-come, since his arousal had been neglected for so long. Duo interrupted their kiss and brought his hand up, and Heero eagerly sucked his thumb into his mouth, tasting both of them. "Ahhh..." Duo stared at the pink lips that sometimes opened to let him see his tongue swirl around his thumb. "What do you want, baby? You've been so good to me, you deserve a reward." Heero's eyebrows pinched together. He didn't know anymore what he wanted, he had sunk into a headspace where he couldn't think clearly anymore. His eyes were hazy and they begged Duo for answers that he himself didn't have. Duo could tell he was hard and desperate for release; he had endured enough teasing. "I'm going to suck your cock and take you right to the edge..." He freed his thumb from Heero's mouth with a pop, to kiss him, before he continued: "And then you're going to jerk yourself off while I come on your face." "Nnnn," Heero moaned his approval. Duo did exactly as promised. He maneuvered himself to lay between his twitching thighs and worked his mouth up and down his length. It didn't take long to achieve the desired effect, and he had to pull back to avoid a premature release. He resumed the position he had before, sitting on Heero's chest, and he reminded his partner to use his hands on himself while Duo also jerked himself off. Heero blinked and then remembered his hands were free to move. He released the pillow and flexed his stiff fingers before reached down, under Duo, to pleasure himself. The bigger man came first, with a deep grunt. He forced his eyes to stay open and watched as Heero's face and neck were painted with streaks of milky white come. Heero licked his lips to get a taste of him and then his face twisted in pleasure and he cried out in the throes of his own orgasm. His small body went rigid until suddenly he deflated of all tension and his head rested heavily on the pillow. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow. When Duo asked him if he was okay, a small smile appeared on his lips. Duo chuckled and leaned down to lick his face clean before kissing him deeply to share the taste. The responses of Heero's tongue were tired and imprecise. Duo dropped down next to him, making sure there was enough space for his body between Heero and the mountain of clothes he had previously pushed out of the way. He lay on his side and studied his lover who slowly returned to him from wherever he had gone off to. He opened his eyes again and the blue was clear and sparkling, the way Duo was used to seeing them. They stared up at the ceiling. Duo noticed there was still a milky drop on his chin and he wiped it away with his thumb. The gesture caused Heero to tilt his head to look at him finally. "Hey you," Duo said. Heero grinned sloppily. "Hey." "Where were you?" "What do you mean?" Duo chuckled. "You went somewhere else. You weren't in here anymore," he gently tapped his index finger on Heero's forehead. "Hm. I guess you're right." He pondered with a moment and then he whispered: "I think I was in here." He laid his left hand over his heart. Duo stared at the delicate hand and the threesome of bangles that he never stopped wearing since he was gifted them on his birthday. Duo kissed a line up his shoulder, and his neck to his lips. "Am I in there too?" He covered Heero's hand with his and he could feel the strong heartbeat. "I think so..." He smiled. It wasn't an "I love you" yet, but he was patient. "I think our dinner has gone cold," he joked. They shared a laugh. X Duo and Quatre were seated on the terrace of a coffee shop in an indoor mall. Their table was right by the edge and they could look down into the three-story atrium and up at the large glass dome. The sky was grey. The banister was decorated with garlands and Christmas lights, but there were still pumpkins and fake spiders on the tables, since it hadn't even been Thanksgiving yet. A waiter brought them their coffees and made a light remark about the handful of bags occupying the two other seats at their table. "Would your friends like to order something?" He jokingly asked, nodding at the bags. "These basic bitches will have some Starbucks on our way out," Duo returned glibly and he smiled when the waiter looked at him all cutesy before leaving the twosome alone with their coffee and their loot. "God, I always doubted if 'gaydar' was a real thing, but you are a gay beacon," Quatre remarked with mock-exasperation. Duo laughed. "What?" "Maybe you're giving off pheromones or something." He shook his head at the joke and took a sip of his scalding, but sweet, coffee. Quatre had a point, especially that day; a lot of guys, particularly the clerks in the shops, had been paying attention to him, even when he made it very clear the blonde was the one whose pants they should try to get into - to get to his sizeable checkbook, that is. "I bet it's that damn glow. You're like a freaking lighthouse, attracting every gay boy within sight." "Glow?" Duo looked down at himself. "Am I pregnant?" Quatre scoffed. "You know what I mean. You're deliriously happy and it shows. It draws people in, apparently." He took another sip. "I guess I am deliriously happy. Can't really help it." He had trouble drinking with his lips curled into a silly grin. "Heero has the same glow lately," his friend remarked offhandedly and then he shot him a look across the table. "I'm not saying that means anything. I'm not saying I could have been wrong about it being a bad idea for you two to date... I'm never wrong. It could be a coincidence." He rolled his eyes at his own act and flashed a smile. "I have my ways of proving people wrong." Duo smiled secretively. "He really has been happy lately, right?" Quatre nodded simply and it relieved him. He had thought so too - Heero seemed more comfortable in his own skin, more balanced and more relaxed; laughter came easily to him and he was more open - Duo was happy to have Quatre confirm his own observations. Heero had lost a bit of that sparkle in his eyes when things went wrong between him and Logan - Duo was grateful to be the one to return the stars to those blue eyes. "The birthday gift was very, very good," Quatre emphasized. He smirked. "Yeah?" "Gods yes. You are such a hopeless romantic." "Not hopeless!" The American argued. "There's always hope." "Ugh, that's such a hopelessly romantic thing to say." He winked at him. Duo traced his finger around the ring of his coffee mug. "He hasn't said 'I love you' yet," he shared, expecting Quatre to already know - since he was friends with Heero too, after all. "I know." "Maybe I'm delusional, or full of myself, or completely overestimating just how good that birthday present was, but I feel like he does love me and that he knows it too. It makes me wonder what it means that he won't tell me." "Aren't you guys going fast enough as it is? Everything considered. You're practically a married couple already." "Not really. He's also really adamant about not sleeping in the same bed every night. Even though I know he loves to cuddle as much as I do." "Awww," Quatre cooed and he reached across the table to flick his nose. "Aren't you just adorable?" "Be serious," Duo whined, but he laughed regardless. "After I kinda 'freaked out' at that guy at the restaurant, he's also been different on dates - less close. To a casual observer, we aren't dating; we're just friends." "I think he's just giving you both time to ease into it," Quatre continued, all jokes aside. "I suspect he's just doing it as a favor to me. Like he's afraid of scaring me, or burdening me. He's afraid of changing my life, like he doesn't know he has already changed my life, and it is a change I've been waiting for for years. It's the change I've always wanted." Quatre chuckled and at Duo's questioning look, he explained: "Now I know what Heero means when he says you always say the 'perfect' things. You really do." Duo blushed and smiled at the thought of Heero saying nice things about him to their mutual friend. "I don't want him to feel like he's a burden to me." "Give it time," Quatre advised. "He'll figure it out. He's just testing to see how thick the ice is, he needs to know you aren't going to crack. Like Logan..." He shrugged. "Logan is a dick," Duo muttered without a thought. "He really isn't. Logan is gay; he is only romantically attracted to men. Just because Heero's body will always be male, doesn't mean that he always is a man - you know that better than anyone now. You can't blame Logan for not being able to adjust to Heero's changes. I know Heero doesn't blame him. Sexuality isn't something that can be changed." "You're right," Duo agreed with a sigh. "I know Logan's a good guy, I just still get pissed off; whatever the case, he's an idiot for letting Heero go, but I guess I should be grateful." He flashed a weak smile. "But he's probably the reason Heero is being so careful with me." "Probably," Quatre concurred, sipping his coffee. "What can I do to convince him that I'm not going to bolt out the door?" "I think you're already doing it. Give it more time." Duo nodded. He had no choice but to be patient. He couldn't force anything. "How are things between you and Hilde? Is she still being weird?" The blonde inquired. "A little. It was starting to get better, but I promised her I'd pay her more attention and I've kind of been slacking; I had to ask for a rain check three times. She keeps asking to go out on Fridays or Saturdays, but Friday is date-night and Saturday is pizza-night." Quatre snorted a chuckle. "You are so married." "Stop it!" "You can skip one pizza-night to hang out with your friend," he countered. "I know, but you remember how new relationships are right? Speaking of being married." Trowa and Quatre never officially tied the knot, but they had been together for so long that they definitely fit under the nomer "old married couple". "Besides, she used to be fine with lunch every now and then. But since I took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner once, dinner is all she wants now - dinner and a movie. I think she's abusing my guilt and prying a better meal out of me." He laughed it off. "Can't say I blame her. When are you going to make it up to me that you were obsessing over Heero all the time and pestering me about the secret?" He deadpanned. "Hey, I'm paying for coffee, aren't I? And carrying all your stuff," Duo gestured at the bags. "I think my services as your mule are plenty compensation." They shared a laugh. "Is Hilde seeing anyone?" Quatre asked, seemingly randomly. Duo thought for a minute. "I don't really know-" at Quatre's quirked eyebrow he admitted: "I know, I know. I'm still being a shitty friend. I get it. I do remember she mentioned something about a hot guy at work, but that was a while ago. I don't know if that ever became a thing. Why?" He thought to ask. "If she's with someone, it could be fun for the four of you to go on a double date." He explained: "It'd be a two-birds-with-one-stone kind of deal. Technically, you can still have date-night with Heero, while also spending time with your friend. And it's probably a good idea for Hilde and Heero to get to know each other a bit. So far, they've barely met, right?" "Yeah." "Maybe if she's more in the loop, she won't get so jealous of you wanting to spend so much time with Heero and talking about him all the time. I think she might feel left out." Duo thought it over. It sounded like it could be a fun night. Even though things had been a little strained between him and Hilde, she was still one of his best and oldest friends, and he did really want her to meet Heero, since he was the most important person in his life. Quatre could be on to something. "That's actually a pretty good idea." "I'm full of 'em," he retorted dryly. "Pffft. Says the guy who told me not to date Heero." They laughed again and finished their coffees. Quatre wanted to stop by one more store and Duo was happy to accompany him - as his mule. While Quatre pondered if he wanted the new Gucci loafers in black or charcoal grey, assisted by the posh clerk, Duo idled in front of a display of women's shoes and wondered if they'd had the black, strappy shoe, with gold stiletto heels that he was looking at in Heero's size. It probably wasn't safe to buy Heero clothes or shoes, not so much because of the "gender-identity-thing", but because he was really particular about his fashion, and as Heero pointed out: Lumberjack-Duo had the bare minimum of fashion sense. But he couldn't help but think Heero would look in them. Heero was just always on his mind; everything made him think of him. He could understand how that would get exhausting to other people, but he was madly in love and couldn't stop himself. He considered Quatre's suggestion further and decided that it would be a good idea. If Hilde got to know Heero - and got to see how Duo was around him - maybe she'd be a little more sympathetic to his obsession, and let him enjoy the "honeymoon period" of the relationship without giving him any grief about it. He wanted to be a good friend to her, because she deserved that, but first and foremost he was a hopeless romantic and once she understood that, maybe she wouldn't take it so personally anymore that he couldn't get his new lover off his mind. Since Quatre hadn't made up his mind yet, and knew Duo was worthless at giving advice, Duo produced his phone from his pocket and texted Heero first to ask if he was on board with the idea. When the reply was affirmative, he asked if tonight would be okay; tonight was one of the nights Hilde had initially suggested. She might have made new plans, but it was worth a shot. He added playfully: We'll go to a pizzeria. Heero was fine with it. He then sent a string of pizza-emojis - knowingly annoying him; Duo let out at a hearty laugh at the sassy, colorful reaction to his use of the childish symbols. Given the all-clear, he texted Hilde: Hey boo, still free tonight? He added a threesome of carefully selected emojis that he hoped communicated that he didn't just expect her to be available at his whim. Hilde loved emojis - she could have entire conversations using just the symbols. No, Hilde replied. No emojis or anything, so Duo couldn't help but read it, hearing her angry tone in his head. I have a date. Who's the lucky guy? :) That guy from work I told you about. Can she stop with the periods already? The full stops made him antsy. Before Duo could reply, she sent: We've been going out for a while. Damn, she's really rubbing in the guilt. Thats great! Im jealous now that he gets 2 spend the evening wit u ;) Im not going to cancel my plans for u because u changed ur mind. Duo frowned at the preemptive, snarky text; he didn't ask her to. You shouldnt. Im a jerk. The he added: Maybe we could go on a double d8 sometime? With u and Heero? Yeah There was a long pause. She wasn't typing or anything, but the checkmarks at the end of his message did mean she had read it. In the meantime, Quatre let the store clerk convince him to buy the charcoal grey pair - he already had so many black shoes and grey was a great "transitional" color, whatever that was supposed to mean. Duo followed his friend to the cash registry, and stood by watching them shine the shoes and carefully wrap them in golden embossed paper before putting them in a box. He held his phone in his hand. It hadn't buzzed or dinged or anything. "That's 765 dollars, sir." Quatre didn't even blink as he handed over his black credit card. Duo was no longer shocked at the amounts Quatre spend during their shopping trips. "How does Heero afford these expensive brands?" He dumbly asked. Quatre shot him a look and a grin. "By choosing to live in a cramped apartment with a roomie, when he could easily live in a nice house by himself." "Huh. Well, lucky me, then." He brought his phone up to his face when he felt it vibrate in his hand. Tonight? He moved his thumb along the digital keyboard. If ud be cool wit that Sure :) He let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the bright yellow, smiling face. We hadnt made any spec plans yet anyway Awesome! Mind if i set it up? Already have a place in mind No prob :) Pizza good 4 u & ur boi? Of course! :P Oh, 'pizza-night', I get it... He smiled. "Sexting with Heero?" Quatre teased. "No... Hilde..." He replied absentmindedly. "Your sexting with Hilde?" Duo laughed loudly at his friend's shocked tone at the misunderstanding. "No, I meant: I'm texting Hilde. I heard you wrong." He took a moment to finish his conversation with Hilde, setting a time and texting her the address of the pizzeria he had in mind, which was the perfect place for a double date, in his opinion. It was casual, but with a nice atmosphere and delicious food. They also served pasta and other Italian dishes, should her date not be in the mood for pizza after all. When everything was set up, he explained to Quatre: "I followed your advice-" "For once," he interjected smartly. "Asked her to go on a double date with me and Heero. She was a little pissed at first, I think. Probably thought I just assumed her to be free at the last minute, but it seems like she's looking forward to it." "That's great." Quatre accepted the bag with his new shoes from the clerk and routinely handed it over to Duo for him to carry. Duo didn't even bat an eye and they walked out of the store together. "I hope they'll hit it off. Hilde and Heero. I really want them to like each other." "I'm sure they will. Hilde is really cool and she has fabulous taste. That's something Heero can appreciate." Duo smiled; he was looking forward to the double date. He hoped Hilde's coworker was nice - not just that he wasn't a closeted homophobe, but most importantly that he was a good guy for Hilde. She deserved that.
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