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"Love Thy Neighbor"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, angst, fluff, citrus Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo's life gets turned upside down when
the house next to his is sold. The new neighbor exposes Duo to a lot
of new feelings but Duo's strict, religious upbringing makes him resist
them. He stubbornly denies that what he is feeling could be love. "Love Thy Neighbor" Chapter Six His house became his prison. But the confinement and the isolation was the only thing that could offer him any semblance of comfort. It felt safe, knowing that the locked door and the blinded windows shielded him from the outside world, even though they did make the walls inch closer towards him as he cowered – yes, there was no denying it – in his chair in the darkest corner of the living room, practically every waking hour. Throughout the past three weeks he could hear the muffled blows of hammers and sawing, as well as the occasional curse and laugh. He figured Heero's friend had come early and had been there for the past week or two and they had been working together on rebuilding the front porch as Heero had announced. Duo may have managed to ration the contents of his fridge and freezer for so long, but he knew Heero would have gone grocery shopping by then. Amber worked fulltime at the store that Heero said he frequented as well. The odds of their paths having crossed were overwhelming. He knows, he must know by now, Duo thought to himself. This made him feel sick. The shame and the disappointment was unbearable. But there was nothing he could do to relieve himself of those feelings – or those other feelings that had been plaguing him, that had been the cause of all of this. Before he could brush said feelings off as pent up sexual energy needing a convenient outlet. But what had been more convenient than Amber, practically sitting in his lap, willing – eager even – yet he had still envisioned Heero, alerting him, without a question of a doubt, that there was more to his attraction than the search for sexual gratification. He was caught between two sins. He couldn't act on his desires, the Lord forbids such fornication. He couldn't rid himself of his desires either. At that point he suspected only the most definitive of solutions could end his forbidden feelings; death. But suicide was another thing that the Bible did not allow. At least Anthony was brave enough to pick one of two evils, as wrong as it may have been. Instead, Duo felt stuck in a twilight zone, his life was suspended in time and space as he contemplated his options without any results. He chuckled bitterly at his own wallowing. "Jealous of a dead guy now?" But Duo had never pitied Anthony for his decision, rather, he had pitied himself, for not being able to find a similar resolution, within the boundaries of his religion. It was the most pitiful existence in comparison to which a pitiful inexistence didn't sound so bad; Anthony's earthly troubles were over. Even if he was in Hell, it must be a relief to be done fighting himself, doubting himself and hating himself. As a small comfort, Hell offered you something else to hate, something besides yourself, an evil to redirect all your negativity to. But although it may have been a solution for Anthony, Duo didn't feel it was the right decision for him. That was about all he knew; what weren't the right decisions. The right one he had yet to identify. He rose to his feet and blindly located and grasped one of the old, leather bound Bibles from his collection of books and brought it back to his chair, stepping over the stacks of books that he had gathered there during the past few weeks. He sat down with the weighty book in his lap, a mere paperweight compared to the burden he had felt on his shoulders as well as his heart. He rifled through the pages, his fingers quickly found the page he was looking for, they stroked the old paper as they trailed down the sentences of Exodus 20:3-17. He read aloud in the alien silence of the house - given the next door construction: "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you," He ran a shaky hand through his hair at the dishonor that he had caused his family, by falling in love with Anthony as a young boy, then, years later, divorcing the woman he had wed before God in the Lord's house. It was an uneasy feeling to acknowledge that he was not only a disappointment to an entity whose existence was doubted by many, but also to his parents, who believed so purely in the guiding hand of the Sheppard. "You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant, or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." I guess that includes his body, he thought grimly. He slammed the Bible shut as an image of Heero's body, outstretched on the ladder - muscles tense, skin golden and gleaming - came to him unwelcome and uninvited. It was an insufferable embarrassment to have those thoughts with the holy book in one's lap. After a few deep breaths he opened the book anew and searched for another page. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…" Duo stared at the words with a hollow feeling. These words were untrue, he realized. He couldn't turn off his attractions to Heero. His feelings for the young man, no matter how diligently he turned to Christ for strength and guidance, were persistant. It was a lie. God had given him an impossible task, one where His strength was of no help. If anything, the presence of God and Christ made it all the more impossible to overcome this hardship, because it was their rule that forced him to choose a path that felt unnatural, even after walking it for so long. How many more untruths were there in the book that had shaped his entire life? It was an unsettling question. He flinched violently when a car horn pierced the quiet most obnoxiously. Rather than the short burst that it normally would be, the sound was continuous, someone was keeping their hand on the horn. It didn't take Duo long to realize the sound was coming from his own driveway and then there was only one logical conclusion. WuFei. He hadn't seen his friend since their last fight many weeks ago and didn't particularly desire meeting him at that moment, given his vulnerable, fragile state in the wake of – most likely - being outed after the most embarrassing and confrontational night of his life. But he knew that when WuFei got like this, there was no ignoring him. He would be out there honking his car's horn until the battery would die and then he would find a new way to incessantly bug him and basically pester him to come to the door. It was best to make the process swift and hopefully avoid drawing too much attention of the neighbors. With angry footfalls he approached the front door and for the first time since he locked the door behind Amber, he unlocked it and swung it open. He stepped out onto the front porch, barefoot, dressed in nothing more than sweats and a T-shirt. With the blinds closed the bright sun had completely taken him by surprise. He blinked and squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the blinding light. The first shape he recognized was that of WuFei's black van, parked on his driveway behind his sedan. As his eyes became accustomed to the light he noticed there was someone standing by the open driver's side door. His heart skipped a beat. Heero stood by WuFei, still seated in his van, and fixed his gaze on him. He was dressed in his usual, casual attire of cut-off jeans and a simple white T-shirt. The cool breeze played with his wayward hair and he squinted his eyes as his bangs swayed back and forth, tickling his nose and brushing by his long eyelashes. Duo was taken aback by how good it felt, in his heart, to lay eyes on the incredible looking young man again, after only having the memory of his beauty for the past few weeks. Of course right on the heels of that comfortable, enjoyable feeling was the guilt and shame at feeling that way. The best he could do was ignore the young man and focus his gaze on WuFei. The Chinese man looked properly impatient and pissed off. "There he is," WuFei grumbled. He took his hand off the horn and moved to bring his folded up wheelchair from the passenger seat to the ground next to the driver's side. Heero stepped back to give WuFei ample space to place and unfold his wheelchair and then maneuver himself into it, loudly slamming the car door shut. It was evident the younger man had to refrain himself from offering assistance. He correctly assumed that WuFei would not appreciate any help of that kind. Heero must have noticed Duo was purposefully not looking at him. "I'll uh… I'll leave you two alone." He patted WuFei's shoulder as a way of saying goodbye and then tucked both hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and walked back to the old house. From the corner of his eye Duo couldn't help but notice Heero looked like a sad puppy making its retreat after being cruelly beaten. Just what he needed, he thought, more guilt. Then suddenly his eyes were drawn to a second figure by the old house. Standing in the shade of the newly built porch was a tall, lean built man with auburn hair, stylishly brushed to one side of his face. He had his sinewy arms crossed in front of his chest and with his one visible eye he stared coldly at Duo, with the eyebrow in a frown. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" WuFei demanded, drawing the American's attention back to him. "I'm not really in the mood for company. You should have called, I could have saved you the gas." "I'm not leaving Duo. We are going to talk. I'm putting my foot down." He looked down at his immobilized legs and remarked dryly: "So to speak." Duo sighed dramatically, but resigned to his fate. He dragged his feet to the corner of the porch where a wooden board leaned against the white bannister. With a grunt he picked it up and moved it to the steps. Metal brackets securely hooked one end of the board on the porch, the other end Duo let drop down to the pavement of his driveway. Without a word WuFei pushed his wheelchair up the makeshift ramp and impatiently waited for Duo to help him over the threshold of the front door. Once they were inside the dark house Duo shut the door behind him, pretending not to notice that Heero's friend had been staring at him the entire time. "I would be insulted that you didn't come by the store all this time, but apparently you haven't even left the house for the past three weeks. So I'm assuming I shouldn't take it personally." WuFei didn't beat around the bush. "It's none of Heero's business so I don't see why he would get involved," Duo grumbled and sagged down on his couch. "He walked up to me when I started honking. I asked about you and all he said was that he hadn't seen you leave the house for three weeks. He was concerned about you, as was I. He said that he stopped by several times but that you never answered your door." Duo shrugged. "I didn't feel like having company." In truth he didn't feel like having Heero come in and undoubtedly confront him with what Amber must have told him by then. That was just something he wasn't ready to handle yet, if ever. He had no idea what he would say, how he could sensibly deny it or keep his calm about it. What he feared most was that he wouldn't be able to control himself if Heero came by and started saying all the things that a part of him had been yearning to hear. "But you should take it personally," He continued, "Because I'm still angry with you. You betrayed me, had me make a fool of myself." "I realize that I hurt you. But I still think that what I did benefited you. If not emotionally, then financially. I can't keep apologizing for that, that would be insincere." Duo snorted. "Emotional benefit? By all means, elaborate." "Well, wasn't it a relief to you to write that book? To put all those feelings and events in black on white? I've written a thing or two, no best-seller like you, but I know that what we write has a therapeutic effect. I wasn't about to counter-effect that," WuFei explained calmly. He curiously eyed the stacks of books by the chair in the corner, a thick Bible atop one of them. "I knew that if I told you the underlying meaning, you would internalize it; you would bottle it all up and let it fester. No version of the book would have ever seen the light of day and you would have felt horrible; guilty and ashamed." "Now I feel that way anyway! So what's the point?" WuFei smirked. "You still have the financial benefit." Duo sighed. "That's not what's important to me." "I know. But the number in your bank account doesn't just represent money, in an indirect way it represents millions of people who felt for you and identified with you. Don't you agree that that is important?" WuFei spoke wisely. "Just because so many people have shared my wrongs, doesn't make them right…" Duo replied morosely. "Hm." "What?" Duo snarled at the judgmental sound. "Considering the overwhelming number of people, you could argue that these wrongs you speak of, aren't wrongs at all." "A lot of people have killed, would you argue that killing is not wrong?" Duo shot back with a frown. WuFei sighed. "You always have a reply at hand… What I was trying to say is that these feelings that you describe in the book, feelings for other men, aren't unnatural. Your religion condemns it for being unnatural, right? For not being the way God intended you to be? For being a freak? Don't you think that given how many homosexual and bisexual and whatever-sexual people there are, it is not unnatural? And if God didn't intend you to be this way, why did he make so many other people the same way? Wasn't it the case that he doesn't make mistakes?" Duo opened his mouth to argue, the matter wasn't so clear cut, but WuFei silenced him with an authoritarian raise of his hand. "I know that this is another religion based debate that I can't win because you have an endless supply of Biblical quotes to shut me up," WuFei admitted, "But you can't honestly make me believe that you, in your heart – not in your scripture-filled head – don't at least understand what I'm trying to say." Duo didn't say anything. His friend's assessment had been correct, but he was ashamed to admit so. "That is what I had hoped this book would achieve by being published. To give you an outlet and hopefully to give you insight in your own feelings and the ability to accept them. I didn't expect that you would always be blind to the underlying meaning of the novel," he said with a sheepish chuckle. "This is your idea of an apology? Lecturing me about what I am or what I should be?" WuFei shrugged. "You know me." Duo couldn't help but smile. "Does that mean I'm forgiven?" Duo sighed and slowly nodded. "By default. I have too much going on to be angry with you on top of everything else." "Oh?" The wheelchair-bound man inquired curiously. Duo chuckled bitterly, sinking into the couch. "You're gonna love this." WuFei waited expectantly. "I have feelings for Heero…" He blurted, "The kind I used to have for Anthony." It was clear WuFei was trying – with little success – to suppress a smile at the admission. Needing someone to talk to, even though WuFei probably wasn't the best to confide in considering they never saw eye-to-eye, Duo started: "I had this date three weeks ago. A really pretty girl. She works at the Whole Foods near the bookstore. It was a horrible date," He groaned at the memory, "She was just so… young and obnoxious and we had absolutely no common interests. At the end of the evening she basically just suggested to make it a one-night-stand, to make it worth our while." WuFei raised his eyebrows, knowing that I hadn't been intimate with anybody in several years. "We were on this couch, fooling around, but…" He paused, embarrassed at having to confess his fantasy of that night. "I was picturing Heero. I was fantasizing that she was him. Completely unconsciously, it just… overcame me. I blinked and she was gone and he was there." "Yeah?" The Asian man could barely manage his curiosity. "What happened?" "It became better," Duo admitted, then he bit his lip. "Better?" WuFei sounded positively hopeful. "Yeah… Hotter." He buried his face in his hands and groaned into his palms. WuFei laughed. "This is great! You are finally letting your true feelings out!" "Great?" Duo exclaimed, looking at his friend with a frown. "I called out his name, when I was with her!" WuFei made a face. "Oooh…" "Indeed. So now she knows that I have these sick feelings for him… and of course, as luck would have it, Heero also shops at Whole Foods where she works, so she probably told him by now. That is why I haven't left the house. I can't face him." He shook his head fervently. "What can I possibly say to him?" WuFei shrugged. To him the matter was simple, he didn't understand all the delicate complications. "Tell him that it was better, once you pictured him." He grinned. Duo rolled his eyes. "I was actually hoping you could give me advice on what to tell him to convince him that I don't want that kind of 'relationship' with him." A deep frown formed on WuFei's forehead. "But you do. And why did you say it weird like that: 'relationship'?" "I don't want it," Duo argued adamantly, "Just because I have these ungodly feelings doesn't mean I want to act on them. And I said it 'weird like that' because it wouldn't be a real relationship. A real relationship is between a man and a woman and it is about love. These feelings I have for Heero are about sex." He knew the words were lies but he said them anyway, hoping that it would make them more real and wishing WuFei would just agree with him, so he could put the issue to rest with his friend's support. WuFei slouched in his chair with an exaggerated sigh. "You can't seriously believe a word you are saying… You are gay, Duo! You are attracted to your male neighbor. Yes, that involves sexual feelings, but it could be a real relationship, if you give it a chance. If you are honest and open." The American angrily shook his head and got up off the couch. "I don't need this right now. You're supposed to be my friend!" "I am being your friend!" WuFei shouted back. "I've been your friend all these years, no matter how exhausting it is! You can't cut me out of your life for saying something that, on some level, you know to be true! Just because it's a difficult truth to deal with doesn't make it any less of a truth! And you know it, you know it," he emphasized, "otherwise we wouldn't be here right now, nearly thirty years later, having this same discussion for the umpteenth time!" He pointed an angry finger at his tall friend. "You don't like to hear it but you know you can't fault me for saying it, because deep down you know it's true! I'm saying the same things that a voice inside of you must have been saying as well and you are arguing with me as much as you are arguing with yourself. It's just comfortable for you to blame me for what the voice is saying. And it's easier to fight with me than to fight with yourself. But it's all you, you know it. You're just too damn stubborn and too damn scared to admit it!" Duo was stunned at WuFei's outburst. Every word hit home. Their truth was undeniable. It left him overwhelmed and shaking. "It took the chair to make me realize that the way I was living my life was wrong," WuFei continued poignantly. "What will it take to make you realize the same thing? Letting another person you have feelings for slip away?" He gestured in the direction of the old house next door. "Or won't you realize it until you are old and alone and about to die, with regret?" He stared down at his friend. For once he didn't have a Biblical quote ready to persuade WuFei – or maybe more so himself – that the way he lived his life was justified. "I'm not saying this because I want you to feel bad, Duo," WuFei explained as he recognized the upset expression in his friend's eyes. "I'm saying this because I want you to feel better. About yourself." "I can't just switch off thirty-seven years of…" He paused to search for the right word. WuFei dryly supplied: "Indoctrination?" "Teaching," Duo corrected. He still thought too highly of his upbringing, in spite of everything, to think of it in such negative terms like indoctrination, or brainwashing – another word WuFei had often used. "A wise man knows to let go of his teachings when they are proven wrong." "But they haven't been proven wrong. More and more people just keep saying they are wrong because a large amount of people have interests that conflict with the teachings and rules of the Bible. That doesn't necessarily make the rules wrong," Duo argued, reverting back into his argumentative ways to protect himself. "It also doesn't necessarily mean that the people are wrong," The Chinese man pointed out. "No. It can be either way. Either the rules are wrong, or the people are wrong. I am inclined to believe the latter. I have to live by what I believe. Otherwise, I don't know how to live with myself." WuFei let out a deep breath. "I don't understand how you can live with yourself like this. There is a person only a few feet away," he nodded in the direction of the old house, "who you could love and who could love you and finally make you happy, but you lock yourself up in your own house because you are afraid to be condemned by some entity. Living in fear is not a dignified way to live." He pushed his wheelchair back to the front door and opened it, preparing to leave. "Take it from a paraplegic: It's better to laugh or even cry over what has been, than to fear what might be, that is the only thing that is truly, irreversibly paralyzing." He nodded definitively, then ordered Duo to help him over the high threshold of the front door. Duo leaned against the doorpost and watched his friend roll down the ramp and effortfully climb back into his van, pulling his chair across his lap and depositing it in the passenger seat. The black haired man raised his hand in goodbye and they shared one last meaningful look through the windshield. Then he backed out of the driveway and sped off. WuFei's words had not offered him any relief from the confusion he felt. At times like that, he wished his parents were still around, to order him what to do, take the decision away from him. The way they had ordered him to stay away from Anthony and live his life by the rules of the Lord. It wasn't until he took matters in his own hands again, that things went awry and Anthony ended up so desperate that it drove him to the unforgivable sin of suicide. He feared to make another mistake. He had no idea how interacting with Heero would affect either of them, but he had been raised to expect the worst. And if he ended up defying his Lord, the worst was exactly what he deserved. At the feel of piercing eyes fixed on him he cast a brief glance to the front porch of the neighboring house, paying little attention to the craftsmanship of the construction, but rather to the craftsmen. Heero was sitting on the banister, with his back turned towards him. But his tall friend was looking right at him again, unashamedly. His stare was unnerving. Duo retreated back into his house. His feet automatically took him back to the chair in the corner, surrounded by stacks of books. With empty eyes he stared at the Bible atop one of the stacks. The book that once provided him with comfort and certainty, now caused him despair. Things used to be clear to him, black and white – and he was fine with both the black and the white, he accepted it – only when he started to develop sinful feelings for Anthony was he introduced to shades of grey. That is when the confusion first began, a mere seed, the growth of which had been stifled by his parents' direct and relentless intervention. The world had returned to black and white, it wasn't as easy anymore, but at least it wasn't confusing. Now, there was Heero. The seed of confusion was now a tree with many branches. A tree not easy to uproot. Heero didn't just introduce him to shades of grey, inadvertently he had made him become aware of a full spectrum of color, vibrant and blinding, making it difficult to see the black and the white amidst the beautiful chaos and choose either one of them, when the colors were much more alluring. Feelings of a strictly sexual nature weren't that powerful, he knew – proving WuFei right. He found it difficult to identify with the term gay, if only because he had rejected it for so long. But right or wrong – probably wrong – there was a depth to his attraction that reached beyond purely physical desire. That epiphany didn't really change his dilemma, though. If anything, he felt more ashamed and more torn. It was dark when a knock on the front door awakened him with a start. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep, nor did he remember reading any of the content of the fictional book that he found in his lap. With a tired groan he got up out of the seat and approached the front door. He stood in the hallway, realizing he was too fearful to answer the knock. "Duo, will you please open up?" Heero's voice came through the door, sounding concerned. Obviously the younger man knew he was home and he wasn't interested in increasing the unbearable guilt he felt by simply waiting for the young man to leave. He took a deep breath, steeled his nerves and then moved to unlock the door. Heero looked relieved to see him, a small smile appeared on his striking face. "Hey," He greeted sheepishly. "Hey." "Thank you for opening the door." Duo shrugged. "Uhm… My friend is here. I mentioned him when we had dinner a couple of weeks ago and you said that you would like to meet him…" He started hesitantly. "I was wondering if you might like to join us for dinner. I mean, it's just take-out, but-" He didn't know how to finish his sentence, so he didn't. Rather nervously he tucked his hands into the front pockets of his black jeans. Duo tore his eyes away from where the black, coarse denim drew taut. "I'm not really in the mood." "Okay." He did little to hide his disappointment. He stepped back, about to leave, but then, with a frown, he turned back to Duo and wondered: "Have I done something wrong? Have I done something to upset you?" "Why would you ask that?" Duo's heart clenched as he spiraled down another guilt trip at looking at Heero's hurtful eyes. "It's just- I haven't seen you since we had dinner. I was just worried if I violated our friendship in some way, or something." Duo shook his head. "No. No. It has nothing to do with our dinner." Rather the other dinner the day after. "It?" Heero wondered. "So there is something wrong? Is it something I can help with?" Duo narrowed his eyes at his neighbor. "Oh, like you really don't know why I don't want to see you!" He spat. Heero was taken aback by his vicious tone. "What am I supposed to know?" He asked, looking genuinely confused. "Wait, you don't want to see me? So it is something I did?" "You didn't do anything. It's all on me. But I'd prefer not to see you anymore." Duo looked away. It physically hurt to say those words. Shit, he thought. "I wish you would just tell me what is going on. I thought we were friends." "Would you please just leave already?!" He snarled, desperate to get the attractive young man out of his sight and out of his personal space. At his raised voice, someone called out: "Is everything okay?" Duo turned his head and spotted Heero's tall friend on the steps of the front porch of the old house. "Enjoy your take-out dinner," Duo said to Heero and then he closed the door, making a point to lock it again. After a few heartbeats he heard Heero's footfalls retreat off his porch. This wasn't new to him. He had purposefully alienated friends before to shield him from inappropriate feelings. Yet, it had never quite stung like that. It wasn't fair to Heero either. He lost his only friend and ally in a hateful community, even though he did nothing wrong to deserve to be left alone and defenseless like that. "Fuck," Duo cursed softly, only mildly shocked at his own profanity. He didn't enjoy feeling like this, which was exactly why he had fought to keep people at arms' length for as long as he could remember. He thought about Heero's reaction. It confused him that the young man seemed genuinely unaware of what had happened between Amber and him. Did Amber really not tell him? She didn't strike Duo as a forgiveness-minded kind of person, he had been certain that since he had embarrassed her, she had no qualms about embarrassing him. It seemed he had underestimated her, unrightfully judged her. Another reason to feel bad about himself. Since he had been low on food anyway for the past few days, he hoisted himself into a pair of jeans and a clean shirt and decided to head out. The least he could do was thank her for not telling on him, especially after how he must have made her feel. Perhaps, given her surprisingly mature demeanor, he could explain himself to her and prevent her from ever sharing his secret with anyone, if he could make her understand. On his way to his car he threw a quick glance at the old house. The lights were on but he didn't see Heero, nor his stoic friend. He shook his head. He shouldn't keep looking for Heero like that, unconscious or not. He may have had no control over his feelings, but he could still control his actions and at this point exercising that control was all he could do to keep himself out of trouble, if he hadn't already crossed a line into wrong from which there was no return after admitting to himself that there was more to his attraction to Heero than merely sexual desires. When he pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store he saw Amber outside by the door, leaning back against the brick wall, a lit cigarette between her fingers. A young, overweight man stood by her in a similar uniform, also having a smoke. With increasing nerves he parked his car and approached her. "Amber?" He called tentatively as he was only a few feet away from the couple. Amber threw him a foul look. "What are you doing here? I was just about to consider myself lucky because it seemed you had decided to stop shopping here." The guy alternated his confused gaze between Duo and Amber. "I wanted to talk to you. In private, if you wouldn't mind." He pointedly looked at the large man. With a shrug of his big shoulders he dropped the cigarette to the pavement, stepped on it – wiggling his foot back and forth a couple of times – and then walked back into the store after a halfhearted wave to Amber. Still afraid to face Amber, he lengthily watched the young man go as he dragged his feet through the main aisle of the store, until he was finally out of sight. "Yeah, take a good look. You might want to fantasize about him later," Amber sneered, then brought the cigarette to her grinning lips. "I wanted to apologize for what happened on our date. That must have hurt your feelings and I am very sorry about that," Duo started. The young woman snorted loudly. "You didn't come here to apologize!" She let out a bitter cackle. "You finally dragged your ass over here to ask me to not tell people about your disgusting little secret." Duo winced at her harsh words. They especially hit home because he had been saying them to himself his entire life; disgusting little secret. Only not so little. When her remark fully registered, he frowned. "Actually, I did want to apologize, but I mostly came here to thank you for not saying anything about what happened." "Well, if that is what you came for, you can hop right back into that late-model, geriatric music, snooze-mobile of yours. I can't believe I had this major crush on you all this time. You are just an old pervert." He sighed. He had been so concerned about himself the past three weeks, he hadn't cared much for how he must have hurt her feelings. "Well… Thank you for not telling, anyway. And I really am sorry." "Not telling? Hell yeah I told my girlfriends about this." "Okay. I understand that. But thank you for not telling Heero." "Oh, I plan on telling him as soon as I see him. You can count on that. He needs to know that you have this sick obsession with him." "Please don't tell him. Please, I'm sorry for hurting you, but you must understand how difficult this is for me." She snorted again. "If Heero comes back to the store, I'm telling him," she repeated childishly. "If?" "Yeah, well, your little walking wet dream hasn't been to the store yet since our date. So maybe he switched. But if I ever run into him, I'm going to tell him. He deserves to know that his neighbor has these… feelings for him." She made a face, disgusted at the thought. "Right." He slowly nodded and turned away. In a way she might have been right. Heero did deserve to know. At least then he wouldn't have to take it personally that Duo planned to shut him out, at least then he would understand that it was Duo's problem and not his. "Hey but Duo!" Amber called after him. He turned back to face her, ready for another insult, aware he deserved it. "I don't really mind gay guys," She explained, her tone more calm, "but I do mind it when they abuse the feelings of a girl that has a crush on them." "I'm sorry." It was all he could say, but he meant it then more than ever. She pushed her cigarette out against the brick wall and then headed back into the store. Duo watched her leave, absorbing the new feelings in the already confusing myriad of emotions. With a sigh he turned on his heels and got back into his car and drove straight home. Deciding that Amber was right and that he should just get it over with, he walked over to the front door of the old house. On the front porch he took a moment to admire the work of the sturdy flooring and the sculpted woodwork of the bannisters and supports. He took a final, deep breath and then curtly knocked on the door, before he could change his mind. His breath hitched at even the sight of Heero's distorted image through the frosted glass of the front door. He was flooded with doubt but he knew he had to push through it. He had to be the good man, the man Heero already had to remind him to be once before. It wouldn't be right to let Heero feel bad and guilty, as none of this was his fault, clearly he couldn't help being irresistible. As he opened the door, Heero looked appropriately surprised to see Duo on his front porch, after being so rudely told to go away earlier that evening. "Duo. Hi," He breathed. "Hi," He replied meekly. A deep voice interrupted their awkward exchange of greetings. Heavy footfalls echoed through the empty hall as Heero's friend approached them. He had his gaze down, looking at the label of a bottle of red wine. "Heero, would you mind if I open this one anyway?-" He halted when he finally looked up and saw the tall American in the doorway. There was a perceptible change his voice, it became monotone and almost menacing as he acknowledged Duo's presence. "You're the neighbor," He stated. "Hello." He didn't move to shake hands and didn't even feign a smile. "Hello." Duo studied the tall man. From his stylish bangs to the forest green button-up that matched his eyes, to the dark jeans that fit his muscled legs snugly. "I'm Duo." He stepped forward and extended out his hand. The man turned his intensely colored green eye to Heero and announced dryly: "I'll be in the kitchen. I'm opening this," he held up the bottle. He promptly turned around and walked back to where he came from. "That's Trowa," Heero said sheepishly. "He's… quite the conversationalist." "I'm sure his cold shoulder has more to do with me than with him. I didn't exactly make a good first impression on him today, when I yelled at you. Which-… Which is why I came over here. I have to explain something to you." "Okay." Heero waited expectantly with raised eyebrows. Duo bit his lip and looked down the hall, where the kitchen door was wide open and he could see one of Trowa's boots propped up on one of the kitchen chairs. "In private?" Heero looked over his shoulder and followed Duo's gaze down the hall. He shrugged his shoulders. "On the front porch?" "I- I don't want the neighbors to be spying on us. You know how they get." Heero sighed. "Fine." He gestured for Duo to come inside. He closed the front door behind him then opened a door to the left. "We can talk in here." Duo walked past him through the doorway. The room was meant to be a formal sitting room, very spacious with an impressive carved wood fireplace. At the moment it clearly served as Heero's bedroom. There was a modest, uncomfortable looking cot in the corner with messy sheets, against the back wall was a foldable table with stacks of clothes and toiletries and across the room was an extra mattress with a pile of sheets, where the warm and fuzzy guest slept. "At the moment this is pretty much the only inhabitable place in the house, besides the kitchen," Heero explained. He closed the door and then walked across the room to rearrange the sheets on the bed. "That's really not necessary. You don't have to be embarrassed about an unmade bed." "Okay," Heero unceremoniously dropped the pillow that he had been fluffing back down on the bed. He looked extremely uncomfortable. "First of all, I wanted to apologize for raising my voice at you and for brushing you off the way I did. I was wrong to treat you that way. I was upset about something and… I was just in a foul mood. You didn't deserve it." "You're apologizing for your tone, not your words," Heero correctly observed. "You still stand by what you said? That you don't want to see me anymore?" "That is what I wanted to explain to you." Heero frowned. "You are now going to explain to me why you don't want me to be your friend anymore? Do you really think that is something I am going to enjoy hearing?" "Maybe," Duo said with a shrug. "Because it's because of me, not because of you." Heero chuckled bitterly. "Can't say I have ever gotten the "it's not you, it's me"-speech from a friend before. Look Duo, if you are going to be chivalrous about it, at least be honest with me. If you can't be friends with me anymore because I'm gay and you are a religious nut, just say so. It'll hardly hurt my feelings, I've heard far worse variations of it." Judging by Heero's flat tone it didn't seem like it would only hardly hurt him. "Religious nut?" Duo wondered comically, hoping to relieve the tension. "Well…" "I guess to most outsiders I am a religious nut. But religion has given me a lot, a lot of comfort and support during certain times in my life, so… it's important to me." Heero deflated. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. It just… popped out." "It's okay," The American assured him with a genuine smile. "So… You wanted to explain something?" Heero asked after a few seconds of silence, eager to speed up the awkward process. "Something happened between Amber and I, on our date," Duo started. Heero looked off to the side, his eyes distant. "I- I had assumed she would have told you by you now, since you go to the same grocery store, but apparently you haven't been there in the past three weeks, so she didn't even get to tell you…" Heero nodded slowly. His expression seemed to imply that he expected the conversation to have a completely different outcome than it would. To hurry it up he even interjected: "So because you are spending so much time with Amber now you don't have time to be my friend anymore?" Duo frowned. "That's not at all what I am trying to say… What I'm trying to say is- What happened that night is-" He had paddled too far down the river to go back now, the pull of the water dragged him towards the waterfall, but he was afraid to fall. Heero arched an eyebrow in curiosity. "During my date with Amber, I started thinking about you," Duo finally admitted with a knot in his stomach. "Well, I guess that's only natural. We had dinner the night before, maybe the same topics came up?" Duo chuckled breathlessly at Heero's innocent interpretation. "No, I mean… I started thinking about you during the more intimate part of the date." Heero blinked, there was a fair amount of confusion evident on his features. Either Duo was still too delicate in his phrasing or Heero simply couldn't believe what he was trying to tell him. With his heart beating in his throat, even his fingertips throbbing in rhythm with the powerful, nervous beat, Duo confessed: "When Amber was kissing me and touching me, I imagined she was you." A red hue tinted Heero's cheeks, nothing compared to the red, hot mess that Duo suspected his own face to be. "Look, you read my book. You know that when I started thinking of Anthony in that way, it dragged me down a path I never wish to walk again. I only know of one way to stay on the straight and narrow and that is to cut that… gravitational force out of my life, so I don't stray from the way I want to be and the way God and Jesus Christ want me to be." The younger man was speechless. He opened his mouth, to say something, but after several heartbeats of silence he closed his lips again. His eyes were slightly widened, his gaze unfocused and erratic, looking anywhere but directly at Duo, as if he was afraid to. "I know that's not fair to you," Duo continued, "but I can't be near you when I am feeling these things. It's going to be difficult enough with you as my neighbor, for as long as you'll be here. I've noticed that in the past couple of weeks my eyes keep searching the windows facing this house, secretly hoping that I will catch a glimpse of you… I've been having dreams about you… And now this, with Amber, imagining that I am kissing you…" Finally Heero's intense eyes settled on him. His expression was open and vulnerable, it made Duo's heart throb but at the same time it affirmed his decision. He couldn't be around the young, attractive man, his body and his mind reacted in all the wrong ways. It was by no means a definitive solution to his problem, but it was the only one he could think of that didn't involve another unforgivable sin. It didn't seem like the younger man was going to say anything, he was too shocked. Duo apologized one final time and then excused himself. He exited the house, noticing Trowa had been standing in the doorway of the kitchen, he had obviously tried to eavesdrop but Duo trusted that the walls of the old house were thick enough to preserve the privacy of the conversation. With his heart still beating a mile a minute he hurried home. He couldn't believe how forthcoming he had been. He hadn't intended to be so candid. But he supposed he could chalk it up to a long list of unwelcome effects Heero had on him. He just hoped he had done the right thing by telling Heero. He didn't want the young man to be confused and think that it was his fault the friendship couldn't work, but if anything, Heero looked even more conflicted once Duo had explained the situation. There was no turning back time though, Duo had to accept and live with the decision he had made. "It's for the better," He told himself, his voice didn't sound as convinced as he had hoped it would. At least now Heero knew it was not his fault, so he didn't get his feelings hurt and hopefully, now that he has been informed of Duo's reasons, he will respect his decision. Ready to bring an end to the day Duo dragged himself upstairs. He stripped out of his jeans and crawled into bed in his boxers and the shirt he had been wearing. The bed felt comfortable and he groaned as his body was cushioned by it. He didn't even bother covering himself up with his sheets, it was only spring, but the nights were getting warmer. The breeze through the open window, along his bare legs, was a welcome relief. He closed his eyes hoping sleep would soon take him, but as tired as he was and as comfortable as the bed was, he couldn't find rest. The day's events ghosted through his head. He opened his eyes when he heard the first of raindrops hit the windows of his bedroom. Knowing that a light drizzle could quickly evolve into quite the rainstorm he raised himself up off the bed and walked over to the open window, pulling it shut. As expected the downpour of rain intensified. Sheets of water clattered down the sides of the house and churned through the gutters lining the wrap-around porch before pouring off the corners in a steady stream. The air in the bedroom soon warmed up without the cool air coming through the window. Knowing that that night would be a sleepless night anyway, he headed back downstairs, glancing at his alarm clock along the way, that read two thirty AM. The wrap-around porch shaded the entire first floor of the house, keeping the sun off the windows. It was significantly cooler downstairs, the hardwood floors even felt cold to his bare feet. He padded over to the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge. He stepped out onto the porch through the kitchen door, catching the screen door before it could slam shut in its usual loud manner. He studied the puddles forming and growing on the lawn and the branches of the trees sagging as the leaves got heavy with water. With a sigh he lowered himself on the wooden bench that stood against the wall of the house. Sometimes nasty winds accompanying the rainstorms had the habit of whipping the rain under the porch, reaching surprisingly far, but luckily that wasn't the case that night. The comfortable breeze had died down, so the rain fell straight down, keeping the porch and the bench dry, although the air did feel cold on his exposed thighs. Reaching out he pulled the table closer to prop his feet up on it. He closed his eyes to rest them, the bottle of water cradled in his lap. The sound of the water was thundering on the roof of the porch, but soothing nonetheless. It drowned out all other sounds, even thoughts. "Couldn't sleep?" A voice called through the rain. Completely caught off guard Duo jumped at the sudden presence of his neighbor. The bottle of water dropped to the floor, luckily he had screwed the cap back on or else the wooden flooring would have become a slippery risk to his health. He squinted his eyes and tried to find the source of the voice through the rain. He spotted Heero on the back porch of the old house, leaning casually against the corner post with his right shoulder as he looked out over his sprawling yard. His slim figure nearly disappeared behind the thick support post. He had craned his neck to look around it. Very self-conscious in his boxer shorts Duo wondered: "How long have you been standing there?" Heero moved from behind the post and leaned his left shoulder against it, so he was facing Duo's yard. His eyes unconsciously darted down to his wrist but he smiled sheepishly as he realized he wasn't wearing a watch. Clearly he was in his sleep attire; black sweatpants that hung low off his hips and a moss green tank top that left his arms and most of his chest exposed. "I don't know… Maybe half an hour." Duo had only been outside for about five minutes. He hadn't even noticed his neighbor in the dark and through the rain. "I wasn't spying on you. I didn't even know you were out here until I heard you pull the table towards you," Heero felt the need to clarify. Duo nodded. "So you can't sleep either?" Heero let out a bitter, breathless chuckle. "It's kind of difficult to find sleep when your friend has just told you he has feelings for you and doesn't want to see you anymore for that reason." "I was having a sleepless night because of that myself…" Duo admitted. Heero nodded. After a few minutes without either of them saying anything, Heero started: "Could you at least explain it to me? These feelings I mean?" Duo felt his face go hot and red. "You said that when you were kissing Amber, you pictured it was me, so it's just some kind physical attraction, right?" He sighed. "But then- but then you describe it as having feelings for me. To me, to say you 'have feelings' for someone means more than simple physical attraction. So I guess I don't really understand what is going on and what exactly you are feeling." Duo buried his face in his hands and groaned. "I don't really know either. I don't know what to call it." "But you know what you are feeling," Heero pressed on. "I feel… I feel drawn to you. Like I said before, it's like a gravitational force, pulling everything about me towards you. I'm always looking for you and when I find you, I find it hard to look away. My ears perk at every sound, listening for your voice." He let out a deep breath. "I don't know what to call that, but I do know it's wrong for me to feel that way. It's definitely beyond the boundaries of normal, friendly feelings." Heero was silent for a long time as he must have been processing the information. Then he started tentatively: "Maybe…" Duo looked up with raised eyebrows. His heart was beating wildly. Was Heero about to suggest that he should act on his feelings? "Maybe you shouldn't give up on this friendship because you have indiscriminate feelings for me. I mean, you still like me as a friend too, right?" "Sure, of course, but…" "These additional feelings don't have to define our relationship. We can still stay friends." Duo shook his head. That was not the direction he expected and he fought hard to deny that he was disappointed. "I don't think I can ignore these feelings, with you close to me." "Maybe you can. I know I can," Heero stated flatly. The American blinked. Unwittingly he got up on his feet and approached the bannister. "What do you mean?" "Duo, I'm a gay man in a predominantly straight world. I've had to deal with developing unrequited feelings for friends before." Heero said and then he averted his eyes. In a more quiet tone he continued: "It just happens, I have no control over it. But I can decide not to act on it. The way I decided not to do anything with my feelings for you, because I promised you I wouldn't make a move. You can decide the same thing." The older man's heart skipped a beat. He found it difficult to process what he was hearing. With a hushed tone he inquired, his fingers gripping the bannister with white knuckles. "You have feelings for me?" Heero snorted, embarrassed. "Yes. To be honest, I thought you knew and I thought that was why you acted so angrily earlier this evening. Technically yesterday evening. I can't really quantify it, or categorize it, much like you, but when you told me you were going on a date with Amber, I knew there was… something." He chuckled sheepishly. "Because I got jealous. I was jealous because she had dinner with you and got to call it a date and I had dinner with you but it was only…. Dinner. I realized then that I had wanted our dinner to be a date." "Oh," He really didn't have anything intellectual to say at that point. He was overwhelmed, shocked, dumbfounded, flabbergasted. He didn't know what to feel beyond that. He acknowledged that a shameful part of him was happy to learn that Heero had feelings for him. But another part of him recognized that that would only make matters more complicated than they already were, as well as more dangerous. "That is why I stopped shopping at the Whole Foods market where she works. I thought your date had gone great and I didn't want to have to hear all about it from Amber at the checkout counter." Heero looked at him with scrutinizing eyes, gauging his reaction. "The point is, I was feelings these things, but I didn't act on them. I would never have told you. I would never have tried to kiss you, or anything else. I wasn't going to let it jeopardize our friendship. So just because there is this 'thing' between us, doesn't mean that we can't be friends." He took a deep breath and added earnestly: "I really like having you as a friend." Duo shook his head. He couldn't really wrap his mind around it. "It's one thing for one person to tuck away his feelings to benefit a friendship. But I don't think a friendship can work when both parties are dealing with… stuff. To be honest I'd be worried that at that some point you might expect something of me; more of me. I couldn't do that. Even if I would want to, I just couldn't." Heero cocked his head and shot back: "Is that really what you would be worried about? Or would you be worried that you can't control yourself when you are near me?" "It doesn't matter. Either way, we can't be friends," Duo said definitively. "Fine," Heero concurred monotonously. "Goodnight, neighbor." He turned around and walked away, going back into the dark house. Interesting how a biting tone can turn even the most neutral of nouns, like 'neighbor', into a hurtful insult. Duo picked his bottle off the floor and sat back down on the bench. No sense in going back to bed after a conversation like that, there was no way he could sleep in his current state of mind. When the rain had cooled everything down he headed back inside. There was already a hint of dawn at the horizon. He decided to clean up the mess of books he had created while hiding out. He couldn't very well continue that pattern. He had to try to make something akin to a life again, even though he felt devastated and felt like he needed time to grieve. He couldn't give himself that time, he couldn't allow himself to grieve. Nothing had died, nothing had left, because there was never even anything there to begin with. He gathered a number of selected books into his arms and carried those to his small study. He still hadn't determined what his next book would be about, if he could ever write one again, but he figured some of his favorite and most used religiously themed books – textbooks, autobiographies and even novels – might be able to point him in a certain direction. After suffering the embarrassment of learning the true meaning of his bestseller debut, he did like the idea of writing the second book the way the first had been intended, with a positive perspective on his religion. He just had to be careful it didn't end up being the same fiasco again, now that he was aware that his suppressed desires could still influence him. As he arranged the books on his desk, clearing away some of the clutter, his eyes were drawn to movement outside the window. He felt his heart skip a beat when his gaze landed on Heero. He was still wearing his black sweats and the green tank top. Duo noticed the sun had fully risen and briefly wondered what time it was, but he was distracted by the way Heero's skin glowed in the light and the way the newly awakened breeze played his hair. How long had it taken him to realize the young Asian man had been following his tall friend –Trowa – to his car; a rental sedan? Trowa, also dressed the same as the day before, had a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. It appeared his visit was coming to an end. He threw the bag on the backseat and slammed the door shut. Duo couldn't hear what they were saying, but Trowa pointedly looked at the Stop-Prop-Eight sign in the front lawn and made a remark. The slight smile on his lips was new. In response Heero shrugged and made a vague gesture that Duo couldn't make much sense of. He couldn't see Heero's face, since the younger man had his back turned towards him. Trowa's smile widened and then he moved to close the distance between them. Just two steps of his long legs. He wrapped his strong arms around the significantly shorter young man. Duo frowned when he noticed one of Trowa's hands was a little more south on Heero's back than seemed normal for a completely platonic hug. His palm was on the small of his back, the tips of his long fingers over his behind and when the embrace ended and they parted, he let his hands trail even lower, briefly brushing over Heero's buttocks. Duo looked away. He was jealous. He shouldn't be, it was ridiculous, it was wrong. His fingers were gripping the book he was holding so tightly it hurt. He looked down at the predominantly black cover of the book in his hands. The title itself was like a message from God. HEAVEN IS REAL, BUT SO IS HELL. A reminder? A warning? A threat? He jumped at the sound of a car door slamming shut again. He watched as Heero saw off his friend, standing on the front lawn in his untied work boots, with his arms wrapped around himself as it must have been quite chilly in the early morning with as few clothes on as he had, following the rains of that night. Duo was in for another startle as Heero suddenly turned and his eyes found him through the window pane. He looked at him briefly. Duo stood frozen. Then Heero started walking, not towards the old house, but towards Duo's house. The older man swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat, but to no avail. As Heero walked up to his front door, so did he. He was there before the younger man but still he waited for his doorbell to ring, until which time he prayed Heero had had a change of heart and would go back to his own house. A shudder went through him when the bell chimed. Upon opening the door he noticed Heero's stern, determined expression. Not knowing what would happen, a knot formed in his stomach. Realizing he would not be politely invited to come inside, Heero announced: "I have a point to make and considering how concerned you are about what other people think of you, I don't think you want me to make my point on the front porch. I noticed Relena was already peeking through the curtains." Duo redirected his gaze past Heero and noticed one curtain was pulled back slightly, a clear indicator that his nosy neighbor was spying for gossip fodder. The loud manner of Trowa's departure must have drawn her attention. "All right," Duo consented and he stepped aside to allow Heero to walk through the door he help open for him. He left the door ajar, just because he wasn't sure what kind of ideas Relena would get from watching Heero go into his house barely dressed and Duo shutting the door behind him. If his neighbors would just mind their own business, Duo wouldn't have to be so paranoid. It was endlessly frustrating. "You had something to say?" Duo inquired as Heero quietly idled in his hallway. "Yes." He reached up his hand to push up the strap of his tank top that had slid off his shoulder. Duo blinked and slightly shook his head as he caught himself being distracted by that simple maneuver. "I wanted to tell you that you are right," Heero continued. "It is stupid for two people who have feelings for each other to try to be friends." Duo nodded, relieved that the attractive man agreed and understood, yet, a small part of him acknowledged a distant, dull throb of disappointment and sadness. "When two people have feelings for each other, they should try to be lovers," Heero finished. Duo looked at him with wide eyes. His heart jumped when the younger man took a step towards him. "You promised me that you wouldn't make a move on me," He reminded his neighbor breathlessly. "I made that promise to you as your friend and, at your own request, I'm not your friend anymore. So I have no obligation to not do this," With one, strong push of his arms he threw Duo back against the door, which slammed shut behind him. Duo didn't have any time to think, nor to escape, or so he would convince himself of as he stood frozen and Heero closed the distance between them. Heero's right hand slid around his neck, his left hand was splayed against his chest, he leaned in his body until it was flush against Duo's and then pushed himself up on his toes to connect their lips. Mouth open with shock, Heero was met with little resistance. He moved his lips against Duo's sensually, coaxing him to return the kiss, but Duo was too afraid to move. At the lack of response Heero may have been frustrated but the younger man wasn't done blowing Duo's mind yet. He determinedly pushed his tongue forward, into Duo's mouth, to find and tease his, passionately deepening the kiss. The American was powerless to turn away from the temptation. His entire body shivered at the intensity of the kiss and his own struggle to keep his cool. He kept his hands pressed against the door, he could feel his fingers twitching with the suppressed urge to bring his hands up to cup Heero's face, or run his fingers through his hair, or to encircle his narrow waist with his arms and press his body against his even more tightly. Heero's left hand, on Duo's chest, was rubbing up and down slightly, making Duo's entire body feel unbearably hot, yet had his skin covered with goosebumps as shudders ran through him. He couldn't help but to start kissing back, it was the only relief for the building tension in his body. That is when Heero let out the softest moan. The sound awakened a primordial desire in Duo. He took charge of the kiss, moving the battle of their tongues to Heero's mouth as he asserted his dominance. Heero kissed back fervently, the corners of his mouth turning into a small smile at Duo's sudden enthusiasm and involvement. Still, Duo kept his hands where they were, against the door, even as his palms started to get slick with sweat and his fingers started to itch to touch the younger man. In his mind, his hands were all over his shorter neighbor, gripping his hips, sliding down to grasp his behind, then moving up his back, feeling the tightness of his body through the thinness of his tank top. His hand moved as he lost control over himself, but he realized the mistake he was about to make and slammed it back against the door. The sound interrupted the quiet symphony of pants and muffled moans and caused Heero to end the kiss. He took a step back, his hands sliding away from Duo's body. There was a flash of fear in his eyes that he blinked away. Duo was mesmerized by the sight of the Asian looker; the golden skin of his face was flushed at his cheekbones, his eyes were hooded and passionate, his lips – parted in silent pants - appeared red, wet and swollen from the amazing kiss. Before he spoke he licked his lips, Duo felt faint as he watched the pink tongue dart out and run along his upper lip. "It's up to you to decide what you want," Heero said in a hushed voice and breathlessly he admitted: "I would understand if you can't, and then I won't bother you again. But… if you want it, then I want it." Duo released a deep breath. "Well, you know where to find me." Heero waited for Duo to move away from the door. Mute with shock, at what Heero was saying as well as at what his heart was saying, he wordlessly stepped aside. Heero gripped the doorknob and twisted it, pulling the door open just far enough for his slim body to slip outside. His work boots made heavy footfalls on the porch as he walked away, but the thunderous beat of Duo's heart drowned out the sound. "Oh God, I'm sorry…" ~ * ~ tbc...
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