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"Love Thy Neighbor"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, angst, fluff, citrus Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo's life gets turned upside down when
the house next to his is sold. The new neighbor exposes Duo to a lot
of new feelings but Duo's strict, religious upbringing makes him resist
them. He stubbornly denies that what he is feeling could be love. "Love Thy Neighbor" Two Another morning of standing in the bay window, nursing a scalding hot cup of black coffee whilst spying on the new neighbor. The front porch was completely torn away, he had made quick work of that the day before, attacking it with a chainsaw reminiscent of many horror movies. Duo watched, hopefully inconspicuously, as Heero dragged a garden hose through the front lawn, towards the sign prominently featured in the center. Duo didn't know why, but he started hosing down the sign diligently, with his eyebrows knitted together and his jaw clenched shut tightly. He took a sip and groaned when his tongue turned sore as it was burned by the hot liquid. Heero couldn't have heard him; still, he was suddenly looking at him, spotting him half hidden behind the curtains framing the bay window. He raised his hand in a confidant wave, with a smile to match. Being spied on didn't seem to cause him any discomfort. After lingering eye contact he turned his attention back to the task at hand, whatever that may have been. Duo still mulled over their brief conversation of the previous night, when Heero had helped him with his groceries. He also remembered WuFei's encouragement to be welcoming and, more importantly, open-minded. He didn't know to what extent he would be successful at that. The mere thought of Heero made him uncomfortable. Being in his presence, having those eyes on him, only exacerbated the feeling. Many people have things they purposefully avoid, because it's too difficult to be confronted with them and with the underlying issue they represent. Widows might never open their husband's closet. Some people may turn off the news when there has been a natural disaster. Others may shun family members of different convictions. Some things are just too hard to reconcile. Duo was very well aware that Heero was a complete person, as WuFei also pointed out. He wasn't just a gay man, his sexuality was only a part of him. But his sexuality, which was as undeniable and unashamed as the sign in the front lawn, is what provoked so many questions within Duo. Leading to a constant debate of right versus wrong. And of course the definition of the two depends a lot on the source. What if the sources you are referencing, are conflicting? It was just too confusing. It would be easier if Heero could just disappear, but Duo knew he had to patiently wait for that day to come. Until then, he would have to stand the inner trouble, conflicts and questions. Before Heero could seek eye contact again Duo retreated into the depths of his house, leaving his coffee to go cold on the window sill. He closed the door of his office behind him and settled into his comfortable desk chair. The curtains were drawn, to avoid being distracted by the sight of his new neighbor. The darkness was also soothing, it had a quieting effect. It gave him focus. Or at least it used to. He knew his peace of mind was doomed as Heero would resume with the noisier tasks of his reconstruction. But the current silence was treasured. He flicked on the single lamp on his desk and aimed the beam at his bag that he had brought with him to the bookstore the day before. He zipped it open and wrapped his large hands around the two books, pulling them out, into the beam of light. On top was the novel he had picked out. It wasn't really of his preferred genre, but having read as much as he had, finding new, interesting books could be a challenge and it made it clear it was time to branch out and explore new things. Duo flipped open the colorful cover and rifled through the three hundred pages filled with tiny, black script. He enjoyed the smell of books, both new and old, and the feeling of any kind of paper against the sensitive pads of his fingers, but what he liked most was the sound as page by page grazed past his thumb and flipped over, or the sound of a book being pulled out of a packed shelf, it's covers sliding against those of the neighboring books. To Duo, it was the sound of the written tales coming to life, filling his existence with adventures he had never experienced. He placed the book on the only empty corner of the desk and let his eyes fall on the book WuFei had given him. Once it had brought him pride, but with every passing day it became more and more like a sore reminder that his every attempt at life was doomed to fail and would ultimately leave him empty and cold. He reached out and stroked his thumb across the lettering, which was bold and dominating on the otherwise plain and understated cover. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DUO MAXWELL He sighed. With one hand he grabbed the book filled with his own words, with the other he grabbed the corner of a stack of meaningless papers on his desk. He slid the book underneath, hiding it from sight. But its presence still felt like a dull ache. It was the only book he had ever managed to write. The idea of it was born in the middle of an important conference meeting, during the time he was still working as the CEO of a successful but utterly boring corporation. He used many of those meetings to contemplate his life and during that particular meeting it had appeared before him painfully obvious. He was wasting the life God had granted him; wasting it with a meager, materialistic, ungrateful existence that would leave even a rock unimpressed. He had remembered his dream, from when he was just a young boy, fleeing to the realms of the library and the fantasy of life it contained after every single day of school. His young self had been sitting there between the rows of books, somehow so certain that one day his name would be up there. He had made a rash decision in that very moment. "Any other points we should address before we conclude this meeting?" The company's sickly wealthy owner who insisted on being present every meeting asked no one in particular. "Yes," Duo had said. The twenty-four eyes that made up the board of directors had focused questioning gazes on him. "I would like to announce my resignation." Everyone had thought he had gone crazy still did but it was the closest he had come to happiness in a long time. That feeling had withered away, Duo realized, staring morosely at the stack of papers through which the shape of the book could still be seen. He had been blessed with the luxury of large savings, never having invested any large portion of salary in anything, always playing it safe. The book had practically written itself, the experience of it pleasantly surreal. His book had been very successful, obscenely so. It was a "New York Times" bestseller and because of the strong religious content he had been invited to discuss it at several television and radio shows, mostly local. Newspaper reviews, though always including the disclaimer "for a first attempt", were raving, abundantly optimistic about this "fresh new voice". But they righteously wondered if he would ever be able to reproduce his initial success. After years of failed attempts it became increasingly, painfully clear that it had been a case of beginner's luck. His life never went through the cascade of changes he had expected following the realization of his dream to be a published author. The satisfaction and fulfillment steadily declined as future pages remained blank. He was still merely existing. Even though the words in the book were his own, they didn't breathe life into him the way the words of other authors did. Which was ironic, considering the book was basically autobiographical. His curiosity piqued when he heard a truck pulling into Heero's driveway and he couldn't resist taking hold of the thick curtain of the small window and pulling it back to take a peek. A white business truck with trailer had pulled up and four tall and muscular men walked out and approached Heero. They all shook his hand. A brief conversation followed during which they oftentimes looked back at the house and pointed high up. When they pulled the tarp off the trailer he recognized roofing supplies and knew he was in for another day of shingles loudly falling into the container. The men started work on the roof, but Duo had nowhere to go. He couldn't justify another trip to the bookstore, moreover, he was not in the mood to face WuFei. He grabbed the thriller he had purchased yesterday and crossed straight through the house to the other side, physically removing himself from the noise as far as possible. He nestled himself in a comfortable lounge chair in a corner of the living room and put on ear phones, playing classical music as loud as he could stand whilst trying to read. The combination of music and fiction was thankfully sufficiently distracting; once he got into the story, the background noise disappeared and the music wasn't obtrusive but rather a harmonious addition to the story, like it was playing in the living room of the main character. For the entire day, Duo did not just exist, he lived, adopting the identity of the brave protagonist who pushed the plot forward as he twisted through interesting developments. If he hadn't set his alarm clock, he would have completely lost track of time and he would have read until the story had reached its climax. Unfortunately, he was expected to join Relena, Terry and their husbands for dinner and even though he was tempted to pretend to have forgotten, he could not stand to be so terribly impolite, so he detached himself from the book and the comfortable seat, turning off the music and he went upstairs for a shower and to get dressed. He hadn't eaten anything since breakfast but that was okay; he never had much of an appetite and he knew that starving himself would be the most likely way to get him to eat a respectable amount. He wasn't really a breakfast-lunch-dinner kind of guy; he never felt like organizing his day according to having meals at socially acceptable hours. He especially never liked sharing meals with others, as the situation made conversation and thus, prying and uncomfortable questions, unavoidable. So he stepped out of the shower with a significant amount of dread, enhanced by the reliable prediction that a lot of the conversation would revolve around the new neighbor. Relena and Terry were infamous gossips who never could let a story truth or lie go untold. He stepped into a pair of black slacks and put on a dark blue button-up shirt and tied a black tie around his neck. He considered a jacket, but the humidity and warmth of the day had even managed to creep into his well-insolated house. He would be uncomfortable and sweaty enough without an extra layer if the topic would linger on Heero and his sexuality for an extended period. He walked outside, instantly feeling the warmth clinging to his skin, every bead of sweat that formed more truth to global warming. Duo frowned when his ears picked up on voices and laughter to his right. He stepped off his front porch and walked the path to the street, looking to the right at the new neighbor's house. The roof was abandoned, all the shingles were missing and a thick, orange tarp was held in place with loose shingles and wooden beams. His eyes trailed down and he spotted the five figures the four workmen and Heero sitting in the grass under the shade of one of the tall, dominating trees. They were drinking beers to cool down and seemed to enjoy their conversation, frequently bursting out into genuine laughter. Duo didn't even realize he had stopped dead in his tracks till he noticed Heero looking at him. The young man was smiling kindly, but Duo felt incredibly embarrassed and awkward, knowing it was too late to pretend he hadn't been staring. Heero got up, wiping his bottom free from dirt with his free hand as he started towards Duo. In the other hand he had two beers, his fingers clutched around the slim necks. One of them was the one he had been drinking, the other still had the cap on. Presumably, it was for Duo. A kind of panic came over him. He really didn't desire another strange and forced interaction with the new neighbor, regardless of how goodhearted Heero's intentions may have been. So there was relief, although Duo was ashamed to admit that, when he heard his name being called from across the street. He whipped his head around and saw Terry in the doorway of her house, beckoning him over. She must have been spying through the curtains. Without looking back at Heero again, he moved his feet and walked away, crossing the street with a slightly quickened pace. "Duo," he heard Heero say in bewilderment as the distance between them increased, but the young man didn't say anything else and Duo felt his piercing eyes on his back as Heero watched him leave. He had no way to justify himself. After all, didn't he always proclaim to be polite? With a heavy feeling he walked up to Terry, forcing on a smile. Terry looked over his shoulder, no doubt at Heero. "You can thank me later for saving you," she said and then placed her hand on his shoulder and guided him inside, firmly closing the front door behind them. Duo pretended not to have heard and apologized for not bringing her anything, realizing that he should have brought flowers, or desert, or wine. Terry assured him it was fine, considering the short notice of the invitation she had extended only yesterday. She ushered him through the open doorway into the living room, where her husband, Michael, and Relena's husband, Carlton, were seated on the couch. The TV was on, showing a football game, the sound turned way down low. Sounds drifted through the open double doors leading to the back yard: the sounds of Terry's three children roughhousing. Relena was by the window, the curtain pinched between her fingers as she stared across the street. Suddenly she squealed and ducked. "He looked right at me!" she said with an immature giggle. Duo would have rolled his eyes at her had he not realized how childish his own behavior had been. Through the thin curtains he could see Heero still standing where he had left them, staring at the house. It unnerved Duo. He was relieved, but didn't feel any less guilty, when the young man finally turned and walked back to the others. "Do you think they are all gay?" She wondered aloud as she slowly approached the window again to peek through. "You'd think so," Terry replied, "they sure seem to be getting along abnormally well." "Honey," Michael spoke up, looking up at her. "The TV?" "What about it?" "You're standing right in front of it." "Oh!" She started to laugh as she hurried out of the way. "Duo, feel free to sit down to watch the game. Relena and I will finish preparing dinner." At hearing her name Relena stepped away from the window and headed towards the kitchen in the back. Watching sports never really interested Duo and his disinterest and lack of knowledge would be flagrant. He didn't want to embarrass himself, so he offered"I can help with dinner, I really don't mind." "Oh don't be silly. Watch the game. That's a healthy thing for real men to be doing." Relena chuckled in response to that. He didn't argue further with her outdated notions, knowing it would be in vain. He sat down on the couch, next to Michael. Carlton was on the other couch, his arms outstretched over the back of the couch. "Are you a football fan, Duo?" Michael asked. "Not really," he admitted. "Me neither," Michael poked Duo in the side with his elbow, drawing attention to the grin on his face. "I just pretend to, so I don't have to help in the kitchen. An especially useful technique during Thanksgiving." "Blasphemous!" Carlton exclaimed. "Football is the greatest sport in the world. I bet you even God himself has a favorite team. Oh, I'm sorry Duo, I didn't mean to offend or anything." "It's fine," he assured. "I'd hope that God would have more pressing matters to deal with than football, but who knows." "Oh, I know," Carlton said. "Believe me, I know. Every sports team I have ever rooted for, God has fucked over royally. Sorry, no offense." "Sure." He forced himself to focus on the game, rather than be distracted by the thought of Heero and how rudely he had ignored him when the neighbor had only tried to be friendly, while he fled to neighbors he didn't even like. Soon, everyone was called to dinner and Duo sat down to observe the start of familial drama as Terry tried to get all her rowdy boys to wash their hands before joining the guests at the dinner table. Michael didn't get involved in the ordeal. Carlton complimented the delicious looking and smelling food but his compliment went unheard, drowned out by the screaming of the youngest, only nine years old, who seemed adamant to resist his mother's order. It took a while before everyone was seated and the hostess could receive her compliments. "Here, Duo, honey, have some more," Terry insisted, scooping up more potatoes than he wanted and putting them on his plate. "Gravy?" "No, thank you." "You should have some." She poured some over his potatoes and meat. "It's really no good without it." "I'm sure it's delicious either way." "Oh, Duo, you are always so sweet," Relena gushed. "Carlton, honey, why can't you be more like Duo?" "I'll get right on it, sweetcakes," he muttered before stuffing his mouth with a large bite. "You should come over more often for dinner," Terry said, "I worry about you, all alone in that big house, with no one to look after you." "Duo is a big boy, Terry, I'm sure he can take care of himself," Michael interjected before she could continue her mother hen behavior. "Still no one special in your life?" Relena questioned, taking a delicate bite of broccoli. Duo blinked away the sudden image of Heero, having no idea where that came from, but not appreciative of the thought. "No, not really." "Surely, women must be falling over themselves trying to seduce you," her smirk turned a little seductive. "You are very handsome and fit and tall-" "Keep it in your pants, will you pumpkin?" Carlton spoke up matter-of-factly. An uncomfortable silence fell over them, the atmosphere filling with tension. It was a well-known scandal in the neighborhood that Relena wasn't always faithful to her husband when he was away for business. It was equally well-known that Carlton knew about it. But it was like the forbidden word. They were WASPs so, go figure. "More peas, anyone?" Terry tried. The middle son started laughing. "Mom said 'pees'!" The other two erupted into obnoxious laughter. "I did not!" Her outburst was ineffective, so she turned to her husband. "Michael. Michael, say something." "Listen to your mother, boys..." Of course that was of no help whatsoever. "I'm sorry about this, they've been worked up like this all day," Terry apologized. All their lives, Duo knew. All three of them had some combination of ADD, learning disabilities and antisocial disorders. Duo was taught that all life is beautiful and has to be cherished with some exception, of course, as outlined in the good book but Duo pitied Terry for being saddled with this burden. Especially since Michael was the prototype of the absent and disinterested father. "Well, Terry, they weren't all bad," Relena pointed out with a grin. "This morning they did what everyone in this neighbor thought about and wanted to do." "Bunny," Carlton started, "you shouldn't encourage such behavior." "No, actually, I agree," said Terry. "What they did was wrong, but honestly, I can't say I disagree." "We didn't even get grounded!" The oldest of the children boasted. "What did they do?" Duo wondered curiously, pushing around a potato soaked in thick gravy. "They uh, they defiled the sign in Heero's front yard." Carlton amended his wife's delicate phrasing by clarifying"They smeared dog shit on it." "Carlton!" Duo lost his appetite, if he had ever had one. He neatly placed his fork by his plate an placed his hands in his lap, rubbing his sweaty palms up and down his thigh. "Like, all over it. The first thing I thought when I saw it was: where in the world did they find that much dog shit?" "Carlton!" Relena practically screeched. "We went to the dog park!" the middle son answered proudly. Duo's face went pale. "Don't worry, Duo. Their dirty hands didn't get anywhere near my kitchen, I promise." Feeling sick, but not for the reason they all suspected, Duo announced"I need to get some fresh air." "Great idea, me too." Carlton already rose to his feet. "You just want to go out and have a smoke," Relena accused him with sharp, narrowed eyes. "How many times to I have to tell you, kitten? I quit, I swear." Carlton turned to Duo and suggested"Let's go out front. While we're out there, do you mind looking at my lawnmower again? Damn thing died on me again last weekend." "Sure." Duo politely excused himself and followed Carlton outside, through the front door. The truck and the workmen were gone and the new neighbor was nowhere to be seen, though his old red truck was in the driveway. The sign was clean and gleamed in the orange light of the setting sun. Carlton led him to his garage, pushing the large door up. The inside of their garage was obsessively organized. In the center, presented like a proud statement, was Carlton's large lawnmower. Eager for distraction, Duo popped open the little hood and inspected the mechanics and wiring. Every Saturday, ever since he was a young boy until well into his adolescence, he worked from sunrise to sunset in his father's auto shop, so he had acquired some experience and just enough skills to fix the simpler problems. "You can stop looking, it's fine," Carlton said. He took a toolbox from a shelf and opened it. He pulled out a box of two inch nails and held it up for Duo to see. "I just needed an excuse to get this." He opened the lid to reveal a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He placed one between his lips and cupped his hand around it to light it. "Want one?" "No thanks. I don't smoke." "Why, is it not allowed?" Carlton mocked, but he immediately apologized, as he always did. "I just figured that when the time would come to meet my maker, I would wish I had had that extra decade that non-smokers get." "Afraid to meet the maker, huh? Have some wrongs to right?" Carlton grinned around the cigarette in his mouth. Duo tensed up. "Don't sweat it. No judgment here. I'm liberal enough to balance out this entire neighborhood of traditionalist, religious Republicans. Don't tell Relena, but I'm a registered Democrat." He inhaled more tobacco smoke and sighed in pleasure. "So, I know why I'm out here, why did you have to get out? Dog shit makes you that queasy?" "A bit," Duo started, thoughtfully looking outside, across the street. "Mostly I just feel sorry for the new neighbor. I mean, I dislike gays as much as the next how did you put it? 'Traditionalist, religious Republican'? But as a Christian, it doesn't sit right with me to treat people like that. No one needs to be friends, but dog shit? Come on." Carlton nodded. "Agreed. But they don't see it like that. They don't see a man, they see a stereotype. You do too, you know, but at least you seem to have the sense to rise above it." Duo shamefully rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't so sure about his ability to rise above, he had failed to do so yet. "It's the small town phenomenon. Everyone on this street grew up in a tiny, secluded town, with strict parents that took them to church every Sunday. Me? I grew up in Chicago in the poorest district of the city. My neighbors were Latino's and Blacks and gays. And I'll tell you this much, the fag one floor above us, was the smartest fucking man I ever met. That's good enough for me." He looked to the side in thought for a moment and then added with a crooked grin"Okay, maybe not the very smartest. The old fucker did die of AIDS of course." "Of course." Duo replied quietly. Carlton may have prided himself for being a big-city-man, unlimited, with the absence of a religious background, but he too suffered from prejudice. Maybe that was with good reason. Maybe there was a truth to the prejudice and the stereotype and that is why it was so resilient. "Let's head back inside before my wife has a fit. Trust me, being 'taken care of' is grossly overrated." They made it back in time for desert: home-made pie with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Duo didn't eat much. He was disappointed in himself and knew that WuFei would be disappointed too, maybe even God as well. He was offered to stay for coffee, or a beer, or a glass of wine basically for any beverage of choice but he declined and with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, he walked back to his own house, admittedly lingering on the porch, part of him hoping that Heero would emerge from the old house, giving him a chance to apologize. That was the least he could do. But there was no activity to be seen in the old house. He spent the rest of the evening curled up in the lounge chair, finishing the book he had started reading that morning. When he was done he walked it over to the bookshelves and managed to squeeze it into the small open space that remained. Then it was off to bed, to a restless sleep. The next morning he watched from the bay window as the same workmen of the day before returned to continue work on the roof. They greeted Heero enthusiastically. It appeared the new neighbor had quite the effect on people. Yesterday their greeting had appeared nothing more than a formal introduction, now they shook hands and patted shoulders like they were old friends. None of the tall, burly men seemed hindered, in the least, by the prominent, declarative sign in the front yard. Movement in the corner of his eye drew his attention and he looked across the street. Relena and Terry were standing in the doorway of Terry's house, both wearing robes and slippers. Their husbands simultaneously pulled their expensive sedans out of the driveway and headed in opposite directions. The two women talked briefly, frequently stealing glances at the new neighbor and his curiously friendly relationship with the workmen. After enough insults presumably had been thrown around, Relena headed back into her own house. Duo watched Heero climb up the towering ladder at the side of the house, leading up to the roof, followed by the others. The noise created by the construction was much less obtrusive. Occasionally Duo would peel himself away from the old book he had chosen to reread to spy on the progress, which was very quick. All five men worked on nailing brand new shingles to the roof structure. All men were sweating, their shirts sticking to their backs, their hair dark and slick as they worked under the surprising heat of the spring sun. For some reason though, Duo didn't even notice the four workmen, his eyes trailed Heero's movements as the young man maneuvered across the rooftop. His heart dropped when Heero slipped and slid down the angled roof several feet, sliding over the new shingles till his feet connected with the gutter and stopped his descent. The young man seemed shocked at first, but then he smiled in relief and gave the others two thumbs up before he crawled back up to the apex of the roof, straddling it securely to catch his breath. After that, Duo didn't dare to look again, not liking the way his eyes focused on Heero's body and the way his heart stopped when he watched him slip. He continued to read the old book, but found it an insufficient distraction. His mind kept wandering into dark territory, territory he had once lined with razor wire fences and KEEP OUT signs. He was pressing into the barrier he had created himself, the barbs causing him pain, cutting into his skin. The wounds bled the truth, the truth of how he yearned to cross that fence, yet couldn't, mustn't, shouldn't. With a sharp intake of breath he startled awake, without ever having realized he had fallen asleep. A single light shone on the pages of the book that had fallen into his lap when his hands had gone tired and limp. The rest of the house was completely dark. There was a knock on the door. There must have been an earlier one, which had awoken him. He placed the book aside and with caution approached the door. He didn't like having guests; he never could distinguish between visitors and intruders into his private space. WuFei was the only exception, the only welcome visitor and even with him Duo felt like he was seeing more than he should. He opened the door just enough to peek through. A shiver went through him, but not because the night's air had cooled. "Good evening," Heero said with a smooth voice and a warm smile. "I hope I'm not interrupting." "I was reading," Duo lied "I'm sorry about this." With a whip of his neck Heero threw his dark chocolate bangs out of his face. "I uh, I was wondering if you have a first aid kit." That was an odd turn to the conversation, Duo thought. "I think so. Why?" He didn't mean to sound so suspicious, but it was what it was. "I don't have one. Pretty stupid, not to have a first aid kit on a construction site," he chuckled sheepishly. "You see, I cut my leg today." "When you slipped?" Duo blurted with concern. Heero cocked his head to the side and between his brows an amused frown appeared. "You saw that? Were you watching me?" "No, not you," Duo bit back defensively. He stammered for a moment before coming up with a perfectly suitable lie. "I was watching the construction. It was interesting." Heero raised an eyebrow and his smile brightened. "Well, would you mind...?" He gestured down at his leg. "I didn't even notice until I was undressing." Duo's mouth went dry but his palms slick. Finally, he opened the door further and stepped back, wordlessly inviting Heero inside. Heero's eyes on him was unnerving as he closed the front door behind him and hesitated in the hallway, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do. Heero's presence was gravitational, drawing all eyes and thoughts to his being. "The first aid kit?" The young man inquired with a knowing smile. "Right!" Duo exclaimed, his feet finally getting into motion. "Wait here, please," he requested as he hurried up the stairs to the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He didn't really have a first aid kit, but he did have the individual supplies necessary to take care of a wound. He gathered them from the medicine cabinet above the sink and carried them back downstairs. Heero wasn't in the hallway anymore. Like the day before, he had wandered into the living room. He was standing right in front of one of the many bookcases that lined the wall, his head tilted and his gaze concentrated as he curiously read the titles. Duo scraped his throat to get his attention and reached out the items to him. "Bandages and iodine. You should really get a kit though." "I know. I'm sorry to bother you." Heero accepted the supplies, then bit his lip as he looked thoughtful, it seemed like he was trying to find a way to extend the conversation. "How was your dinner last night?" Duo tensed up. "Fine. Terry sends her apologies about what her boys did to your sign." "No she doesn't." Duo rubbed the back of his neck, looking away to the side. "No," he admitted, "she doesn't. But I am sorry. About what those kids did and... about ignoring you, earlier." "That's okay," Heero spoke mildly, a tiny, kind smile on his lips but his eyes were mischievous, flirtatious even. It made Duo feel uncomfortable, but only because he realized that underneath the discomfort he was flattered and... fascinated. Heero continued"You can make it up to me." "Alright," Duo agreed, though worried about what he had just agreed to. With good reason, it turned out. "You can let me offer you another beer some time." Duo sighed. "When you do, can I refuse?" Heero shook his head and chuckled. "No. That would be very impolite. And then you would just owe me twice." "Aren't the bandages and iodine enough to make it up to you?" "No," Heero quipped. "Especially because this," he held up the bottle of iodine, "is going to hurt like a mother he bit his lip and looked up at Duo sheepishly. "Sorry." "That's okay. I have a friend who swears. I'm used to it." "Well, good. Because you'll have two friends who swear." Duo snorted. "I hardly think we could be friends, no offense. Just because we are neighbors... it just doesn't work like that." "But we are not going to be friends just because we are neighbors. We are going to be friends because I like you and you will like me. You'll see," Heero assured. Duo was completely taken aback by that. "Thanks for the stuff. I'll get it back to you tomorrow." Heero opened the door to let himself out. "Yeah, sure. Uhhh... good luck with your leg." He waved goodbye as he disappeared into the dark, heading back to his own house, leaving Duo with a strange feeling, one that felt nice but one he didn't welcome. He shut the door, hoping to be able to sever that gravitational pull, hoping to be able to lock out Heero and all the confusing thoughts and feelings that he provoked. It wasn't sexual or romantic, it was just a near irresistible urge to be in his presence, yet the paradox was that he wanted it so much, he feared it feared mostly what it meant and the nice feeling had an aching aftermath to it that overshadowed everything. He practically hid in his own home in order to avoid Heero and to postpone paying off his debt. He knew the beer would only be an excuse for another uncomfortable, confusing meeting. What he felt when he was near Heero, too closely resembled a feeling he once knew. A feeling he thought to have buried successfully. An accomplishment he had been proud of, for those feelings had caused him great shame. Heero was threatening to dismantle all that hard work with his good, friendly intentions. Duo couldn't really blame the new neighbor for this, it were his own demons that were complicating the otherwise simple and platonic relationship. He just wished Heero would get the hint and stop making such an effort. He couldn't help but wonder if Heero's intentions were, in truth, as innocent as he perceived them to be. Duo wasn't arrogant enough to think that just because the new neighbor was gay, he couldn't help but develop feelings for him and consequently pursue those, but it was a persisting prejudice that he surely shared with many men; that a gay friend can never be just a friend, because he might desire more. After a week he had pillaged every source of food in his house and was forced to go outside. It was comical, even to himself, how much he dreaded leaving the safety of his home. He snorted at his own behavior as he stalled by putting on his shoes agonizingly slowly. Heero may not have the intention to become a permanent resident on the block, but he was still going to be around for a considerable amount of time. Even Duo, a self-proclaimed recluse, knew there was no avoiding him. When he went outside, got to his car, started it and drove off, without Heero ever approaching him or even being seen, Duo especially berated himself for his childish antics. Still, when he was at the store, he purchased enough food to last him over two weeks. "Hello, Duo," Amber, the cashier, greeted him whilst heavily batting her thick, black eyelashes. "Hi, Amber." "Are you having guests over?" The girl wondered as she scanned item after item. "Excuse me?" "You don't normally buy this much food," she pointed out sweetly. That is because normally going to the store, even for mundane groceries, was a welcome break in his day. This time though, he needed a back up plan, in case his childishness would get the better of him again. "Oh, no, just stocking up a little," he explained. "Hmm, spaghetti," she purred as she scanned a box of instant spaghetti. "I love spaghetti." Duo wasn't too dumb or blind to recognize she was fishing for an invitation, as she had been ever since she started working at the store, but no matter how much effort she put into her seduction, which lately had been decidedly less than subtle, Duo never felt inclined to take her up on her offer. She was a nice looking young woman and maybe, as a grown man with needs, he should have been interested. Yet he wasn't. Her presence left him feeling indifferent. He couldn't help but compare it to his limited experience with Heero. But as soon as he did, he stopped himself and reminded himself that the two were not comparable. Heero was a man after all, whereas Amber was a woman. Feelings for the two could not be compared as they were of a different nature. "Duo? Duo?" He snapped out of his thought and looked at her with a question mark on his face. "That'll be fifty seven dollars and seventeen cents." "Right." He paid for his groceries and walked away. "See you next time," Amber called after him lustfully. Not in the mood for WuFei's judgmental observations, whether they be justified or not, he reluctantly went straight back home. Pulling into the driveway he noticed that while he had stayed hidden in his own house, the roof had been completed. Other than that, however, the house didn't look any different. He carried his groceries into his house. He felt like he was smuggling illegal products. After putting everything in it's rightful place, he couldn't help but curiously start to wander around, peeking through every window that faced the old house. The weather was beautiful, beams of bright sunlight reflected against the dusty windows and the new roof looked terribly out of place next to the rotten paneling on the outer walls. Duo drifted outside, to inspect if any further progress had been made while he had been hiding out. There had been plenty of noise to indicate as much. From the porch at the back of his house, he could look over the thick hedge that separated the two yards and he had full view of the neighbor's garden, back porch and back of the house. He noticed that on that side, all the old paneling had been stripped away and the paint of the beams and banisters of the back porch was sanded off to reveal the wood was still in good condition. The back door was open and a curtain that hung in the doorway, presumably to keep insects out, blew in and out of the house at the persistence of the wind. The quiet was alien and the sight of the house in an early stage of deconstruction, apparently abandoned, gave him a ghost-town kind of feeling; a feeling of loneliness and goosebumps. "Hi." "Jesus!" Duo stumbled backwards but managed to grab hold of one of the banisters to steady his balance, before he would fall on his ass. His eyes settled on Heero, who seemed to have come out of nowhere, standing right there in the middle of the ugly garden, looking smug. The young man was wearing an airy, white T-shirt and a pair of jeans cut off at the knees. Just above his boots, Duo spotted the bandage he had given him a few days ago, wrapped around his ankle. "I didn't mean to startle you," the young man said with a chuckle. "I seem to be making a habit of it." You are, it's annoying, knock it off, Duo thought bitterly. "I haven't seen you in a while." "I was busy," Duo bit back, even though he recognized he had no good reason to be angry. "Yeah? Do you work at home or something?" Heero seemed genuinely interested. He brought his hand over to his forehead to protect his eyes against the rays of the sun. His fingers cast an interesting shadow across his sun kissed complexion. "Something like that." "I'll get your stuff. Hold on." Heero jumped up the steps of his porch and disappeared into the old house. He emerged quickly holding the bottle of iodine Duo had lent him and a new roll of bandages, still wrapped in plastic. "I used them all up, had to redress a couple of times because of the dust and dirt. So I got you a new roll," Heero explained and he threw the items one by one over the hedge towards Duo. Duo easily caught them in his hands and nodded his thanks. "How's your leg?" he inquired politely. Heero smiled. It was quite an incredible smile. "It's fine. I'll live." Duo stood by, waiting he supposed. Uncomfortably switching his weight from one foot to the other, his gaze cast to the side; meeting Heero's eyes for any extended period of time was too intense, too revealing, to himself as well as to Heero. "Are you waiting for something?" the new neighbor asked with a smirk. Duo shrugged. "For that beer, I guess." Heero grinned in response, mischievously. "Oh, but it's no fun when you are expecting it." He blinked his eyes innocently. Duo sighed, a little frustrated and concerned about the signals Heero was sending him. "Why are you doing this?" "I don't understand." "Why did you pick me? Why are you making this effort to become friends with me, or at all? You are only going to be here for a little while. You have another neighbor, you know? Why won't you try your luck with Bryce?" Heero was silent for a while, just staring into him. Finally, he simply answered, "Because so far you have been the nicest to me." Duo felt his heart rupture painfully at that, the muscle no longer successfully withstanding the pressure of guilt. "Everyone ignores me. Terry's kids throw dog shit against my property. Relena glares daggers at me. Bryce, my other neighbor, told me he doesn't want to stand next to me, afraid to get hit by lightening when God strikes me." He snorted and shook his head. "I know he was joking, but that is the only thing he has said to me and there is truth in jest. He doesn't want to be anywhere near me." His tone wasn't accusing or angry, only filled with a sad sense of acceptance. "It's your own fault," Duo spitefully argued. "With that sign..." "You have a cross over your front door," Heero retorted. "Every house on this block has an American flag on their porch. And since I got here, a neighbor down the street put a "vote yes on Prop 8" sign in her front yard. Now I'm not religious and I was born and raised in Japan and it's pretty obvious how I feel about proposition 8..." He paused and looked at Duo meaningfully. "Yet I don't throw dog shit, or glare at everyone and I am not afraid to stand next to anybody, even though I probably have every reason to be. How can you accuse me of doing something wrong, when I just stand up for my beliefs like everyone else here, only my beliefs happen to be different? At least I'm not being a jackass about it." Even though Duo sympathized, he couldn't help but lash out in return, "If I had moved into the gay neighborhood in the city and put a pro prop 8 sign on my door, do you think my neighbors would be gracious towards me?" "Probably not. But then I would pity them as much as I pity you. I don't justify anyone's narrow-mindedness, not even if they are people 'like me'." "If you pity me, why do you want to be my friend?" Duo demanded to know. "I didn't pity you until just now." Heero's voice was mild but his white-knuckled fists betrayed how upset he was. "I thought you were different." "You thought I was gay!" "No. I thought you were a good man." Heero nodded curtly to punctuate his statement, then he said, "Excuse me, neighbor, I have work to do." He stomped off. Duo was stricken, he knew his face to be pale. Everything he had ever attempted and accomplished in his life was for the greater goal of being a good man, a righteous man, a man worthy of the respect of his peers and the love of God. To have that be disputed, came as a shock. But only for a second. After brief contemplation he realized Heero was right. Decency, as is becoming of a good man, is the quality that enables you to rise above, to see everyone equally and to treat everyone with respect and to not listen to that voice that whispers bad things about them in your ear, whether it be your own voice or someone else's. It felt horrible to know that someone didn't think of him as a good man and to know that it was the truth. As it always turned out to be the case, his wise friend WuFei was right, Heero wasn't just a gay man, he was a complete person and Duo should acknowledge him as such. It was only decent. It was the right thing to do. Surely, in spite of conflicts of interest, the Bible, or God himself even, couldn't make an argument against that, right? "Wait!" Duo called before Heero could reach his truck. The young men turned, his hand already on the doorhandle. He looked impatient, yet curiosity and hope shone through the hardened layer that had formed on his formerly soft and friendly features. As requested, he waited. Duo jogged by the side of his house to the front yard and stepped over the low bushes that separated his driveway from Heero's. "You're right," he admitted as he came to stand in front of the expectant young man. "I haven't been a good man to you. I'll be honest, the gay... 'thing' makes me uncomfortable. It is confusing because there is a disconnect between what I personally feel is right and what I have been taught is right. And I feel like I am being offensive and disrespectful by choosing my own personal view over the perspective of God and the Bible and Church. But I don't think you should be ignored. And I don't think you deserve to have dog shit thrown at your sign. And I don't think people should be afraid to stand next to you. And maybe," Duo bit his lip. "Maybe I am right and the other perspective is... please don't make me say it. I can't say God is wrong," he pleaded. The ice in Heero's eyes melted away. He appeared amused by Duo's monologue and his confession of confusion. A smile formed to match the glitter in his eyes. His whole body became relaxed and his hand slipped from the doorhandle. Duo felt exposed under Heero's stare. He was panting a little, still catching his breath after running his mouth. Heero made his breath hitch in surprise with a single, simple enough request. "How about that beer?"
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