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"Love Thy Neighbor"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, angst, fluff, citrus Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo's life gets turned upside down when
the house next to his is sold. The new neighbor exposes Duo to a lot
of new feelings but Duo's strict, religious upbringing makes him resist
them. He stubbornly denies that what he is feeling could be love. "Love Thy Neighbor" Chapter Thirteen The next Sunday morning they were on the road. Heero had insisted on being the one to drive and Duo had let him, even though a banged-up pick-up truck might not be the most presentable vehicle to take to church. He understood Heero's need for some kind of control in the situation. Going to a church service was completely novel for him and his anxiety was evident. Duo himself was on edge as well. He had been avoiding services for a handful of years and since he hadn't been to this particular church before, he didn't know what to expect. All he knew was tales of fire and brimstone, punishment and subjugation. Those words were not what they needed to hear. Of course this was a different kind of church, as WuFei had said, but it was the unknown factor that scared him even more so, he had no idea what to be prepared for and he had no idea what exactly he had invited Heero along for. The quiet had existed between them for so long during the ride that it had reached a point where Duo feared to speak precisely because it had been silent for so long. He stole sideway glances at the driver and noticed Heero's fingers tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, his arms outstretched and stiff. The younger man was looking up ahead with such focus he didn't really seem to be paying much attention to the traffic directly surrounding them, but Duo wasn't about to call him out. Heero had exchanged his regular cut-off and torn-up jeans for a pair of neatly pressed black slacks and wore a thin, crisply white button-down shirt, with a slim, black tie. It was too warm for jackets. Duo stared at the thin material of the shirt and listened to the rustle whenever Heero shifted gears. The fabric moved over his arms and where the cotton curved inward he could see a hint of the golden hue of Heero's skin shine through. "Should I have worn something else?" Duo was startled by the sudden question and felt his cheeks go red when Heero made eye-contact. The Japanese man looked down at himself and repeated: "Should I have worn something else? I didn't know what was appropriate or not, but this was the only clean, decent shirt I had." Noticing his genuine insecurity Duo assured him that he was dressed perfectly fine. "Yeah? You keep looking at my clothes," He pointed out, steering the truck into another lane as their exit came up. Duo pursed his lips. "Sorry. I guess I'm trying to decide if this looks better on you than your work-clothes." He flashed a grin and was relieved when his lighthearted remark caused a smile to appear on Heero's lips. "What's the verdict?" "I think you look better naked." Duo's eyes widened, he was shocked at his own statement, he hadn't intended to say that out loud. Heero chuckled and then the silence returned. But he didn't allow it to exist for too long. He asked: "Is there something I should know? Church etiquette, or something?" Duo shrugged his shoulders. They were on a downtown street and must be getting close to their destination. "I don't know. I've never been to this church." "But services in general?" "Just be quiet during the sermon and polite to others." Realizing that was hardly helpful advice he elaborated: "Usually the pastor will be at the door, to greet people. Since we're newcomers, he'll probably take the time to get to know us a little. And he might talk to us afterwards as well. They always want new guests to become regulars. It is a business after all, their church runs on donations from their flock, so they benefit from having a larger group of members." Heero nodded, listening attentively. "The other church members will probably ignore us, or be downright rude." He shook his head, "I remember how my mother and father got whenever someone new came to church, they treated them like unwelcome guests." "And what do we say when anyone asks how we know each other?" He glanced at Duo. The older one didn't respond and instead pointed at a sign on a street corner. "There. It's to the left." Within two minutes they arrived at a small parking lot in front of a boxy-looking building that resembled an old school more than it did a church, but there was a big cross by the main entry. The parking lot was nearly full though and there were a number of people just outside the door; men dressed in neutral trousers and pastel shirts and women in wavy, floral dresses and hats. They remained seated in the car and observed the group apprehensively through the windshield from across the parking lot and it was unmistakable that the group was stealing looks at the unfamiliar, red truck. "You said this place was different, right?" Heero verified, a nervous tone to his voice. "Someone like me would be welcome here?" Duo noticed his careful choice of words - 'someone like me' as opposed to 'someone like us'. He put his hands over Heero's that was still clutching the gear shift. "WuFei assured me this was a good place to go." He nodded stiffly. Simultaneously they opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle. The passenger side door creaked when Duo closed it and he winced at the shrill sound that only drew more attention to them. Heero and Duo exchanged a look before walking up to the main entry. The group of men and women parted to let them through, interrupting their quiet conversation for polite greetings. They stepped through the doors into a hallway. A sign directed them to the auditorium to the left and they walked through the open doorway. Duo looked around and couldn't hide his disappointment. The facilities really had originally been for a school or an even center. The square room with low, paneled ceiling and big windows had been gracelessly converted into a place of worship. Rows of mismatched, second-hand pews had been aligned to face the make-shift alter at the back; a raised platform with a speaker's stand in front of a piano, an arrangement of wildflowers and a modern, simplistic wooden cross. On the wall was a large banner with the words: Love all. Accept all. That sentiment certainly didn't mirror Duo's past teachings. Several people had already taken their seats in the pews, occupying the first few rows. Unlike the gathering outside - men and women of exactly the type Duo remembered seeing at church - the crowd was diverse, spanning races and ages and some of them had a decidedly alternative look to them; oddly colored or cut hair, piercings and tattoos and outspoken fashion. He started to fret when a tall, lanky man walked up to them with his long arms spread out in a welcoming gesture; the pastor. He was dressed in an all-black suit. His shaved head was glossy. His teeth were insufferably white as he smile amicably. "Welcome," He said, revealing his voice to be a pleasant, smooth baritone. He extended his arm and shook Heero's hand first. Heero seemed eager, perhaps overly so. He was all smiles as he introduced himself, clearly the setting had put him at ease. Duo was a little more cautious and unconvinced, but shook the man's hand politely, stating his name. "It is always good to see new faces," He expressed genuinely. "My name is Djimon Essien, I founded this church and I perform the sermons." He gestured at a table by one of the windows where home-made treats were on display. "Have you had breakfast?" "Yes," Duo ground out uncomfortably. "Feel free to take some after the service, then, otherwise it would be a waste." Duo nodded in agreement, far too fervently, betraying his discomfort. "Is this your first time at church?" He asked the both of them. "No," Said Duo. "It is for me," Heero admitted in embarrassment. "What made you decide to come today?" "Uhm," Heero rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "A friend recommended this place to us. WuFei Chang." The pastor nodded. "Ashley and Bill's son-in-law." Ashley and Bill were Sally's parents, Duo knew. "I'm not sure what to expect though. This is all new to me. I'm a little intimidated," The Japanese man confessed. The pastor put him at ease. "Don't worry. I understand your apprehension but you'll see you have nothing to fear. I give a sermon about a different topic each week, sometimes one of the members of our congregation has something to say and we pray." "In all honesty I should probably tell you that I'm not sure if I believe in God," Heero said in a hushed whisper and Duo felt embarrassed that the younger man had just said that the pastor. "And yet you are here," He stated with a smile, "I think that's the most important thing. As long as your intentions are pure, you are always welcome here. Many people aren't sure whether or not they truly believe when they first come to church. They haven't allowed themselves to give it any thought. People are oftentimes embarrassed, or put off by some of the more radical, outdated teachings. I can only hope that the experience will have meaning for you and perhaps, if you keep your mind and your heart open, you can start to believe." "Thank you." "Thank you, father," Duo chimed in. "What about you? You said you've been to church before." "Yes, but a proper church." He bit his lip at the unintended slight. "I mean..." The pastor nodded. "I get it." He looked over his shoulder at the space, from the worn carpet to the water damage on the ceiling. "It doesn't look like much but we don't judge here and we hope that, in turn, we don't get judged either." Duo nodded. "I'm sorry, father. I meant no disrespect." The pastor unexpectedly placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Do not fret. Please, take your seats, I will start the service shortly. I would like to talk to you afterwards as well, if you don't mind." The two agreed and then walked past him and took a seat on the wooden pew, one of the last rows. There were worn copies of the Bible and leaflets with the lyrics to a selection of hymns. Heero picked up the modestly styled leaflet and scanned the text interestedly. Duo watched the people come inside and take their seats, including the group that had been outside previously. The pastor took time shaking everyone's hand and with some he exchanged brief, soft-spoken words. When everyone was seated a volunteer closed the door and the pastor walked up to the front and stepped onto the raised platform. Heero wiped his hands on his thighs and sat on the edge of his seat. His eyes were wide with curiosity and Duo found his interest and openness endearing, although he himself had been less impressed with the 'church' thus far. Pastor Essien greeted his flock, his smooth voice enhanced by the microphone. The ebb and flow of his tone was soothing as he spoke. His chosen topic was worldly, recalling news broadcasts of the past few weeks, especially the past few days, regarding suicide bombings in the middle East. He paused to say a brief prayer for the many victims in the past year alone. When he continued, he said: "Almost all Americans denounce these acts of violence that are committed in the name of religion. We watch it on the television and we judge 'them'," He emphasized the word. "Yet we turn a blind eye to the barbarity that we, ourselves, are guilty of. We discriminate others. We violate the rights of others. We look down on others. We punish others. And we unjustly use the words of the Bible as both our shield and sword. We seek not to changes ourselves, we seek only to change others. We view the world through binoculars, everyone else's flaws are enhanced while our own are out of focus. We fail to realize we have no control of what happens overseas, or even across from us at the dinner table. We have only the power to change ourselves for the better. But this is hard work and hard work is out of fashion. Tradition is lazy; all that is required of us is to follow the set norm and command others to do the same. It is easier to wield the whip than to suffer the cracks along your bare back." He paused and stared at the quiet faces. "What this mentality breeds is stagnation and hatred. We refuse to change ourselves, stalling our own growth and maturation. And we aren't capable of changing others, in spite of our mislead attempts, culturing frustration, disappointment, intolerance and eventually resentment." Duo glanced sideways and observed Heero to be rather shocked by the hard-hitting words. "Love thy neighbor," The pastor paused for effect. "That's what it says in the Bible." From memory he read aloud: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment." Duo saw heads bobbing up and down in wordless agreement. "Let go of what the other does. Accept him and love him. Even when his ways are different. Even when his ways are flawed. Look to yourself for betterment of the world. Focus your attention, instead, inward, on your own flaws and improve on yourself. Don't just assume that the path your walking on is the right way because this is the way your mother, or your father, or anybody else has walked. Question the chosen path and have no shame or fear when you realize the direction is wrong. Blaze a righteous path and pray that your footsteps are followed." He stared at his audience and asked. "Which one of you was raised based on traditionalist views?" Many raised their hands and Duo recognized he should have also, but he was too afraid to be singled out. Djimon nodded. "How many of you have lived your life in a way that tradition would condemn?" Nearly everyone raised their hand and Duo was somewhat amused when he noticed Heero raising his arm also. "But were you actually wrong?" People shook their heads and soft no's resounded. "But have you been judged and cast out anyway?" Many nodded. "Five years ago a boy from this town was beaten to his death because he was gay... by his own father. This man is, of course, in jail now, but I've heard people of faith defend his actions and actions like it. Some people, even here, in the land of the free, are so misguided by twisted teachings that they would rather accept a man murdering his own son, than accept a young, innocent boy who fell in love with another boy. Violence is condoned and love is condemned, in the name of the Lord?" His face twisted into an expression of disgust. "Recognize when the path is wrong," He stressed "and enable the only change you can to better the world; the change within yourself." He continued his speech of self-motivation but Duo wasn't sure how he felt about his words. His biggest concern being: how do you decide if the path is wrong? Duo never felt he had the authority to make decisions like that and it was a comfort to know that it wasn't his decision to make; the rules had been laid out very clearly. How does one distinguish right from wrong without any benchmarks? The pastor seemed to be promoting people to just do whatever felt right, putting way too much emphasis on our emotions and instincts. That kind of path could only lead to chaos because it would take everyone in a different direction. Or was that the point? Heero appeared enthralled by the pastor's words and after the speech he politely folded his hands together as the room joined the pastor in prayer for a church member's son who was stationed overseas in Afghanistan. When the service was over people crowded pastor Essien to thank him for his encouraging words. Duo and Heero remained seated in the pew, too lost in their own thoughts to speak yet. "Heero. Duo." Essien greeted them once he had sent off most of his flock. "You both seem a little shocked." "I thought you said some very powerful things," Said Heero. "It gave me a lot to think about." "I can only hope that my words inspire some good. What about you, Duo?" "I don't know what to think yet, Father," Duo replied. "It was... different. For sure." "I haven't offended you, have I?" "No, I'm not offended. Just confused." The pastor nodded and smiled. "Confused is not a bad starting point. When we are confused we make an effort to inform ourselves in search of the answers. Confusion is the starting point from where we pursue knowledge." "I don't understand how you expect us to know right from wrong when you say we can't just blindly use the accepted definitions of the two." "Well, I believe these definitions are evolving, by nature. Things that used to be considered wrong, are logically no longer and vice versa. I warn people to not hold on to definitions that are decades, or even centuries old. I admit it is not easy by any means to figure out right from wrong, but I implore everyone to never stop questioning." He chuckled breathily. "I wish I could give you more concrete advice, as that is what you seem to desire from me. But do not look to me for the answers. If anything, look to me for the questions and find out the answers for yourself." "I guess it's hard for me to understand how something can be wrong at one point, or right at one point and then end up being the opposite. That doesn't seem like progress to me, that seems like people always looking for the path of least resistance." The pastor leaned back against the backrest of the pew in front of theirs and replied: "Let me ask you this: do you think it is okay for a teacher to beat a disruptive child with a ruler?" He shook his head. "No of course not." "Do you think it is helpful?" Having suffered abuse at the hands of many in his childhood, he could confidently say: "No." "Do you agree, however, that it used to be accepted for a teacher to use corporal punishment on a student?" Duo nodded. "It was once accepted - considered 'right' if you will - for a teacher to discipline a student using physical force. Nowadays this is unacceptable. Something that was once right, is now wrong. I don't believe this is because we are looking for the easy solution. Rather, we have evolved and we have learned from our past mistakes and we have realized that hitting a child in class does not promote the behavior you wish to achieve, it is only harmful. That, I think, is progress. A kind of progress that is necessary in many more aspects of our lives." "I suppose you are right, Father," Duo said, but he was still confused. The pastor looked at them both in silence for a moment, before boldly asking: "Might I ask how you two know each other?" Duo's face went beet red and Heero didn't dare to say anything. Then, finally, the American ground out: "He's my neighbor." The pastor nodded, but with an informed twinkle in his eyes. "I hope you will both give thought to what we have discussed today and I look forward to seeing the two of you again next week." He walked them to the door and waved goodbye as they climbed back into the red truck. Heero started the engine and looked over at Duo with some concern evident in his eyes. "Are you okay?" Duo took a deep breath and then bravely looked at him. "I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat." The younger man agreed and he pulled the truck out of the parking lot and they drove for ten minutes looking for the nearest establishment, ending up in a quaint, old-fashioned diner, sitting down in a red, pleather booth. Overhead was the soft, sixties music from the radio and the bustle of the kitchen. A plucky waitress took their order. Heero rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, not wanting to risk a stain. His gaze was far away. "So you have something on your mind," Duo observed casually when they were served their burgers and fries and large fizzy drinks. The younger man shrugged his shoulder non-commitally and dipped a fry into the dollop of ketchup on his plate. "Just thinking." "You seemed pretty impressed with the service." "I thought it was pretty intense. I suppose he didn't say anything I didn't already know, but for whatever reason his words did register." Duo took a big bite and asked with a mouth full: "Anything in particular?" He eyed his plate carefully, purposefully avoiding eye-contact. "That we shouldn't want to change others, not even when we think they are wrong." Duo chewed thoughtfully. "Are we talking about me?" Heero looked up, somewhat guiltily. "I think so." "You want to change me." "I did," He disclosed. "But I thought I would be helping you. I didn't..." He shook his head. "I guess what he said about it being easier to yield the whip than the suffer the blows really resonated with me. I must admit, I've been so frustrated with you at times, because I just don't understand why you're holding back and denying us both-... But I really have no right. It's easy for me to say that you should open up to all these things, but that is not correct. I shouldn't have such expectations and I shouldn't pressure you." He looked back at the older man with vulnerable, apologetic eyes. Duo offered him a sympathetic smile. "Just so you know, I don't feel like you are cracking a whip along my back. I feel a little cornered. And a little hurried. But not abused." Heero nodded, grateful for his reassurance and picked up another fry with ketchup. "What about you? What have you been thinking about?" "I've been trying to figure out how to marry what he said with what I've been taught. I didn't feel like a sermon to me, not in the least because he mentioned God so little. I find it hard to believe that this is the correct approach to the religion. It was like he was encouraging us to do as we please and that is not what religion is about. I think. Shouldn't religion help you discern right from wrong? He just took the Bible and presented it á la carte; pick whatever you like." His rant caused Heero to tilt his gaze back down to his plate. Evidently he was disappointed that the service didn't cure Duo of his indoctrination, but it had been naïve of him to expect otherwise. Still, he apologized for his negativity. "Maybe I just need to give it more time, let it sink in." Heero nodded slightly. "I don't regret coming. And I want to thank you for coming with me." A smile appeared on his face. Duo chuckled at the sight of his sweetly innocent expression and finished his burger. Heero finished his meal as well and licked some ketchup off his fingers. When he noticed Duo watching him closely he smirked and sucked on his ring finger suggestively, but then he laughed at himself, embarrassed and wiped his hands with a paper napkin. "Ready to go home?" "Yes," Duo replied a little too quickly. He paid for lunch and then followed Heero out the door and back into his truck. Seated next to each other, the silence returned. Duo looked out the window thoughtfully, running through the sermon in his head once more. Out of the blue he asked the driver: "Do you think I can change?" "Hm?" "Do you think I can change?" He repeated. "Do you believe I can let go of what I've been taught and... become...- Do you?" He glanced his way somewhat wearily. "Yes, I think you can." He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. His fingers were a little more tense and tendons stood out in his wiry arms as he added: "However, I'm not convinced you want to change." Duo sighed. "I'm not sure. Maybe." He continued observantly: "You've had twenty years to change and yet you haven't. I'm not so full of myself that I believe I'm the first guy who came along who made you question things. It's not laziness, like the pastor said." "What is it, then?" "Fear." Duo chewed on the inside of his cheek. The young man was right, he was afraid, afraid of the unknown. "You know..." Heero started, keeping his eyes focused on the road, "I remember a passage you wrote in your book. You said that life is like a network of dark tunnels and religion is the red yarn that you hold onto; a thread that will always help you find your way back. At a certain point you're out of yarn and that's when you know you can't go any further, not without letting go." He nodded, remembering writing the words. "The yarn gives you a sense of safety. You can always go back. But at the same time the yarn will prevent you from ever reaching the end of the tunnel and what if the thing that makes your life complete is at the far end?" "But you don't know that." "Exactly, you don't know that. And you never will." Duo looked down into his lap. "The way I see it, you are standing in a dark tunnel, holding the yarn in one hand and stretching out the other hand, but there is no more give. You're as far as you can go without letting go." He paused and then concluded: "I don't think it is going to help either of us if I take your outstretched hand and pull." He looked at him intently, trying to study his face. His brows were pinched together in a focused frown. "Either you let go of the yarn and you'll end up resenting me for making you let go... Or you'll never let go and we'll both be in that dark tunnel forever." He took one hand off the steering wheel and scrubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair. It was silent for a long time, but then Duo responded poignantly: "But I want you to take my hand." Heero looked over, his mouth was smiling but his eyes were deeply sorrowful. "I can't stand the dark, Duo." He stared at him lengthily, feeling salty tears prick his eyes and stain them red. He shouldn't want differently from Heero, he should make sure he escaped from those dark tunnels. But for the first time in his life he realized he was afraid of being left behind and the red yarn wasn't enough anymore. He knew the way back, but he knew what was back there, he had been there before, where there was pain, sorrow and loneliness dripping off the jagged walls of black obsidian. Still, to know this and to be able to let go were two different things. After all, he had no way of knowing how much darker things could get if he followed Heero. He didn't know what kind of torment would await them before they would reach the light - if they didn't get lost in the maze. The surroundings started to become familiar as they drove back to their own neighborhood. Duo remembered the looks he had gotten from his neighbors that morning when he had climbed into Heero's truck. They were on their way to church as well, dressed in their finest outfits. But they had gone to a traditional church, a place that taught them to unfairly despise and to needlessly fear people like Heero. He was aware of the hate that traditionalists could instill in their following. He remembered, from his childhood, coming home from church every Sunday with a new disease to spread and to infect every soul with. Not all churches were like that, some wisely avoided controversial topics, but his neighbors definitely went to a place that wasn't afraid to impregnate the holy water with poison. The truck jolted to a halt on Heero's driveway. The younger man took his hands off the steering wheel and folded them together in his lap. He stared up ahead thoughtfully. "What do we do now?" He asked. "Do you need me to tell you?" Duo wondered, it had seemed before like Heero had already made up his mind. "Yes." Duo sighed. "I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do." He swallowed audibly and then added: "I don't know what I want but I do know what I definitely don't want." Heero turned his head to look at him. "I don't want to follow the red yarn back into my house and stop seeing you." His eyebrow twitched. "I don't know what that means." "I don't want it to be over." "You don't even know what 'it' is," He snapped. He shot back: "Oh and you do?" "I know what it is to me!" He shook his head at Duo, frustrated with his obtuseness. "I told you Duo, I love you. It's inexplicable, it's uninformed, it's childish, but it's real." He stared at him, his vulnerable eyes searching Duo's expression for a flicker of anything. "So don't put this decision on me. If you're waiting for me to say the word and break things off with you, I'm sorry, but I can't. I want to! It's what I should do! But I can't! And I keep looking at you hoping that you're going to say something to justify my naiveté... That's how stupid I am!" "What would you want me to say?" "At least... at least tell me that you could love me," He emphasized, leaning in. "Tell me that you could, if things were different." Duo adjusted in his seat to face Heero. "If the world was different; if I was different; I would tell you I love you," He nodded at the STOP PROP 8 sign in the middle of the lawn. "I would probably ask you to marry me some day." A sad smile appeared on his face at Heero's endearingly shocked expression. "But the world is what it is. And I am who I am. You love me because you believe I can change - you love the future me - but I'm not sure if I can ever live up to that." Heero opened his mouth to say something, but Duo stopped him before he could. "But I want to," He added sincerely. "I want to try. If you could wait for me just a little bit, to see if I can do it. It's unfair of me to not push you away, to not push you towards someone who is ready. But you make me want to be selfish. The thought of giving up and perhaps losing you to a guy like Marc-" He made a face. Unexpectedly Heero rushed towards him, leaning over the gear shift and he connected their mouths. He kissed back instinctively, still as overjoyed as ever by the taste and feel of the young man's mouth, but he quickly realized the danger of the public setting of the kiss and abruptly and awkwardly ended it by leaning back, out of reach. Heero blinked at him and then apologized softly. They were both panting. They readjusted in their seats simultaneously, facing forward. "Let's go inside." Heero nodded. "Unlock the kitchen door. I'll come over in a minute." They both laughed nervously and then climbed out of the red truck and went into their own homes. Duo leaned back against the closed door to catch his breath. He went to stand in front of the mirror to fix his tie but purposefully avoided eye contact with his own reflection, too afraid of what he might see; not knowing if he would like it, nor if he could stand it. After giving himself some time he went out the back door and snuck into the backyard of the neighboring house in a way that was, by then, shamefully routine. Even though he had instructed Heero to unlock the door, he still felt compelled to knock as opposed to barging in. When his neighbor opened the door for him, he wasted no time. He pushed the shorter man inside, connecting their mouths and their pelvises. He walked the young man back until his back connected with the wall right next to the archway leading into the main hall. He pressed their bodies together and moaned audibly. His hands feverishly explored Heero's sides and then he made enough space between them for him to partly undo Heero's dress shirt and slip his hands inside. He kneaded the muscled torso as his fingers traveled up and he enjoyed the way the pitch of Heero's moans changed when he pinched and rubbed both nipples. Heero's hand was placed over Duo's bulging groin but the man quickly told him 'Don't', not trusting his sexual endurance, and Heero pulled his hand away without question or giving the manner any kind of embarrassing attention. Instead he raised his arms above his head and let the American touch him as he pleased, letting him assume complete control. After not too long, Duo ground out: "I want-" He couldn't finish his sentence, biting on his lower lip. The intensity of his attraction towards Heero was maddening and left him feeling entirely uncivilized. He wanted to grope the flesh and bite the skin and claim him as his own. "I have a condom in the back pocket of my pants." Absurdly, Duo wondered: "You brought a condom to church?" Heero chuckled breathily. "I got it from the bedroom just now, before you came in." He placed his hands on the slim hips and roughly turned him around so the Japanese man was facing the wall. He pushed himself against the shapely behind, moaning gratuitously, beyond all shame. Heero angled his hips and thrust back against him. Duo paused and let his hands caress the buttocks, feeling the packet in the left pocket. He slipped his fingers in and retrieved the condom, momentarily placing it on the kitchen counter directly to their right. He reached around the slim, young man and undid his belt buckle and pants and them fall to the floor before pushing the underwear down to expose him. While he worked to unzip his own pants Heero widened his stance and braced against the wall. The lubricated condom was wet and slippery, which made it a bit of a challenged for his shaky hands to apply it to himself. "Is this enough lubricant to make it good for you?" He wondered, in part to disguise his brief struggle. "Trust me, it will be good." He did trust Heero to know what would feel good. Once done with the task of putting on the condom he grabbed his hips again and held him still as he pushed inside him. The two of them moaned at the slow entry. Heero leaned his forehead against the wall and Duo rested his chin on his shoulder once he was fully seated. "I have to move," Duo said through gritted teeth, unable to keep his primal lust in check for much longer. "Yes! Please!" At Heero's repetitive encouragement Duo was rough and demanding in his movements. The cries of passion fuelled him on. He knew he wouldn't last long and he hoped his lover had taken that into account as well. He stayed his release as long as he could, thrusting into him while kissing and nipping at his neck and ear. Their clothes got dirtied by their sweat. "I'm close," He warned. Heero lowered one of his hands to jerk himself off. "It's okay, baby. I want you to come." With a growl he reached his climax, moving his hips back and forth a few more times before he settled deep inside him. Fireworks crackled behind his closed eyelids. He knew he couldn't wait too long to pull out, because of the condom. Heero seemed to sense his insecurity and said: "Just give me a few more seconds." He was barely able to finish his sentence before his breath hitched in the back of his throat and his entire body tightened when he reached his own completion. Although his legs felt dangerously unsteady, Duo stepped back, away from the warmth and support that was Heero and got rid of the condom and zipped up his pants. Heero tidied himself up as well and washed his hands at the sink. Neither of them said anything and the silence was uncomfortable. Of all the things - better, more appropriate things - he could have said, the American wondered imprudently: "Is Marc still in town?" Heero threw an odd look over his shoulder. "Are you really that worried I'm going to pick him over you? That you have to ask me that after we've just-" Duo hastily apologized, looking away. "I'm not mad." He chuckled. "It's kind of cute, actually." He walked up to him and stood temptingly close. "It's petty and selfish," Duo berated himself. "But my concerns are not entirely uncalled for. He seemed rather intent on convincing you that you are better off with him." He quirked an eyebrow. "When?" Not feeling comfortable disclosing the private conversation he had had with Marciano, he answered ambiguously: "Just in general. And... you did love him, once." "Once," The other emphasized. "He's too late. I've already moved on to my next ill-advised crush." He smirked at his own remark. Duo bit his lip, feeling the sharp sting of guilt in his heart. More than ever he wanted to be able to change, he wanted to be able to embrace the full depth and meaning of his feelings for Heero, if only so he wouldn't end up causing the young man more heartbreak, he had already suffered enough. Out of the blue he leaned in and gave him a chaste peck on the lips. Before Heero could ask or say anything, he inquired: "So, is there something I can help you with?" He looked around himself demonstratively. "I've started tiling the upstairs bathroom. I could always use an extra pair of hands." He was already working on the second floor, Duo noted. The renovation was moving along swiftly. What would happen when the work was done? He knew his unskilled help wouldn't speed things up much, so he was happy to be able to work with him, so he could have a sane excuse to spend more time with him - although he would be perfectly content quietly sitting in a corner watching him. He went back to his house only to change into clothes he wouldn't mind ruining. Home improvement. Self-improvement. All change was hard work. He just hoped he could manage to strip away the thick, dried layers of indoctrination and find the structure of his true self undamaged underneath. I'm aware more traditional churches also preach acceptance, I just wanted to give this church-experience some character, by making it a bit off-beat. My intention was not to imply that all other (traditional) churches are bad nor ignorant.
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