|
"Love Thy Neighbor"Written By: ExecutiveShrimp Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, it belongs
to Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. Written for pleasure not
profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, angst, fluff, citrus Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Duo's life gets turned upside down when
the house next to his is sold. The new neighbor exposes Duo to a lot
of new feelings but Duo's strict, religious upbringing makes him resist
them. He stubbornly denies that what he is feeling could be love. "Love Thy Neighbor" Chapter Twelve He spent the night. Marc spent the night. His rental car was still in the driveway, he had never left. Duo hadn't slept for even a moment, looking out the windows every couple of minutes, hoping to see only Heero's red truck in the driveway. But when he realized it was three in the morning and the car was still in its exact place, he knew his neighbor must have extended to his guest an invitation to spend the night. It caused him unspeakable jealousy, even though he knew he had nothing to be jealous of. Not because he was confident nothing had happened between Heero and Marc during the night - he was anything but confident, given how easily the young man welcomed the Italian purebred back into his life - he simply had no right to be jealous. Heero and him were not together, he had made sure he understood that, so he had no claim to him. His neighbor was free to do whatever he pleased, he had no obligations to a man who made him shamefully creep out the back door in the dark depth of night. Duo had absolutely no logical reason to be jealous. But he was. So much so that it was crippling and sickening. He had been staring at the clock on the wall, wondering what hour in the morning would be appropriate to show up on the next door porch and casually suggest a shared breakfast. Five o'clock? Five thirty? Probably not, he thought to himself, using the fingernail of his thumb to pick at his lower lip nervously. The lights in the neighboring house hadn't been switched off until four in the morning. Duo wondered what they had been discussing - or doing - during practically the entire night. Did Marc apologize? Did he explain himself? Had he come to sweep Heero off his feet the way the younger man had wished he had years ago? And did Heero forgive him? Did he fall into his arms? Did he let tall-dark-and-handsome kiss him... make love to him? He sighed and pried himself away from the kitchen window. There was nothing to be seen. Even more powerful than the jealousy was an intense, biting sadness; a grief of some new, unknown kind. Although he always knew that what he had with Heero - whatever it was - was temporary, he didn't expect it to be quite so fleeting. He hadn't expected things to be over this soon and he realized he didn't want it to be over this soon. But what could he really do? Later in the morning his body tensed up when he finally heard a car door slam shut. He rushed to his downstairs office on the tips of his toes, not really knowing why he felt it necessary to sneak around, it wasn't as if anyone would hear his approach. He peered out the small window overlooking the driveway of Heero's house. Marc was seated in the vehicle, the window was rolled down and he was talking to Heero, who was dressed in a loose-fitting pair of sweatpants and a grey T-shirt that he had clearly slept in. His hair was more tousled than usual as he saw Marc off with tired eyes and a belated, half-hearted wave as the white rental sedan pulled away. He remained standing in the damp lawn as the car drove down the street and out of sight. Stupidly Duo could not contain his curiosity. He made his way to the front door, stepping into a pair of shoes along the way and headed outside. He was still wearing yesterday's clothes. His step faltered when he noticed Heero was still staring down the street forlornly, but he wouldn't let himself be deterred, he wasn't exactly thinking clearly; experiencing a compelling mixture of that jealousy, sadness and even anger. He felt like he had the right to know what had happened during the night and what Heero was thinking. The American halted mere feet before his perplexed-looking neighbor as he realized what he was about to do if had taken those final steps, namely give Heero a passionate, desperate kiss. It took his brain a while to readjust and to use his lips for speech instead of affection, during which time the younger man quirked an eyebrow at him. Eventually Duo admitted: "I don't know what to say." The other shrugged. "Me neither." The silence was awkward and lasted far too long. Then Duo blurted out hopefully: "Is he gone?" Heero looked down the street. "He's just gone back to his hotel, to shower and get a change of clothes. We're going out for lunch later today." Duo gritted his teeth. He couldn't contain himself, he seethed: "Why?" Heero narrowed his eyes at him. "He was my best friend." "Yeah, but generally when someone beats you bloody they lose the best-friend position. If someone sucks at their job, they get fired." The Japanese man wrapped his arms around himself and looked away. More than anything he seemed angry that Duo didn't understand. "He's not a bad person, he's just been struggling with- He's coming to terms with things now, I don't want to just tell him to fuck off. I'm the one who started all of this for him after all." "Well, he certainly seems eager to 'finish' what you started." Heero snapped his head up and glared at him. "Is there something you want to ask me, Duo?" "I want to know what you two did together all night!" "We talked!" He shook his head. "Go back inside, Duo," He spat. "The neighbors are watching." Duo turned around and spotted Relena across the street, having her morning coffee by the window, she wasn't even pretending not to be looking, she stared right at him. When he turned back to face Heero he noticed the younger man was already at his own front door, which he pulled shut behind him. He stormed back into his own house and after pacing back and forth through the living room a number of times he burst out the back door and slipped through the hedge into neighboring back yard. Impatiently he rapped his fist on the window pane of the kitchen door. He could see Heero standing by the sink, clutching the edge of the counter. The young man was startled by the sudden noise coming from the back door. When he recognized Duo he appeared reluctant to open up. He moved to unlock the door and as soon as he opened it to let his older neighbor inside he warned: "I'm not in the mood for a fight, Duo." "I'm not either!" Duo assured him, although his raised voice was sending mixed messages. "I don't want this," He gestured at Heero's closed off body-language and frustrated scowl. "I want to go back to that night," He knew he needn't clarify when he spotted the slight blush on Heero's cheek. "I want to go back to before I asked you to leave... I don't want to fight." "Nothing happened between me and Marc last night." "I believe you." "Nothing will happen!" He didn't respond, he wasn't so sure. After all, he had been doing a damn good job at making Marc seem amazing, in comparison to himself. He was being unattractively jealous, petty and possessive. Heero pushed off the door he had been leaning against and closed the distance between them. He came to stand so closely in front of Duo the other could feel the warmth radiating from his body, even if they weren't touching. The older man dipped his head, breathing in the scent of Heero's hair and letting his lips brush over the shell of his ear almost imperceptibly. "I don't like the thought of him being alone with you." He admitted with heavy heart. "I don't trust him. I'm afraid he will hurt you." He sucked in a lungful of air when Heero wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. Heero whispered in his ear: "The only one who can hurt me at this point is you." His heart throbbed in response. He was conflicted and concerned. He replied: "I could say the same about you." He held the shorter man tighter to him still and buried his nose in his hair. With a sigh Heero eventually disentangled himself. "I have to get dressed and go to the gym to take a shower." "You can shower at my place." "Are you sure?" "Of course." "I promise I'll have a functioning bathroom by next week." Duo smiled. He actually wasn't too eager for Heero to finish the renovation anytime soon. The longer the project would last, the longer he would be around. It would definitely be better to rip the band aid off and part ways - get it over with - but Duo didn't want that. At Duo's request Heero followed him through the backyard with a change of clothes and into Duo's house. They both went upstairs; Heero used the bathroom while Duo got changed out of last-day's clothes in his bedroom. Soon he heard water running and he could see steam coming through the ajar door. He was convinced it was an invitation for him to join the other under the hot spray of water, but he resisted, however tempted he was. Sitting on his bed, halfway through the process of putting on fresh socks he could clearly hear Heero's moans from that night in his head. He crossed his legs awkwardly as he realized the front of his pants was getting uncomfortably tight. When the shower was turned off he felt rushed to deal with his erection before Heero would emerge from the bathroom and he would embarrass himself - even more than he already had. He forced himself to think about the things his parents and his priest had said to him in his youth about the time he was caught kissing his childhood friend Anthony. The painful remarks were a quick remedy for his arousal. He looked up when Heero stepped out of the bathroom, appreciating his figure in a slim-fitting pair of black jeans, a grey shirt and a casual, navy blue jacket. "You look nice." Heero quirked an eyebrow. "Not 'too nice'! That's not what I meant. I just wanted to say... you look good... in clothes... non-working clothes... I... I give up." He shrugged sheepishly. So much for not making a fool out of himself. Heero laughed. "Thanks." Another awkward silence settled. Duo was fidgeting and he noticed his neighbor was shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to other, standing there nervously and uncertainly. The young man promptly decided to step forward and to take a seat on the bed closely next to Duo. Their shoulders rubbed together. "So," He drawled, "This is awkward." Duo chuckled and nodded in agreement. Heero drew his hand out of his own lap and placed it on the empty space of mattress to his right, touching the smooth sheets of the tightly made bed. "These are the same sheets." "I washed them," Duo hurriedly assured him. He didn't dare to disclose that he had decided not to put one of the pillowcases in the washer. He hadn't been able to get himself to get rid of that pinewood-y smell that always hung around Heero which had clung to the fabric. Sometimes his own behavior scared him. Things like spying on Heero and relishing in his scent on the pillow made him feel like a psychopath. He had never acted like that before. The only explanation he could think of was that, as creepy as those antics were, they were the only non-threatening way to stay close to Heero. Nowhere does it say in the Bible that a man can't lie with another man's scent. He shook his head at himself. "What?" Heero asked curiously. "Nothing, just thinking stupid things." "About Marc?" "No." He grimaced. "But now I am." Heero shifted closer to him still. "There is no need for you to be jealous of him." Duo was tempted to argue that he wasn't jealous, but it would be a lie and he knew the younger man would recognize it as such. He kept his mouth shut, biting on the inside of his cheeks, struggling quietly with his feelings. Trying to make light of the situation, Heero jested: "At least you got to punch him. And you punched him good." "I've never hit anyone in my life before," He admitted quietly, wringing his hands together in his lap. "But I wanted to hurt him. He deserved that punch." Heero chuckled. "He doesn't deserve you," Duo said definitively, looking sideways at the beautiful, golden face of his neighbor, his friend, his lover. "Why not?" Duo rolled his eyes, it was obvious, wasn't it? "He hurt you!" "People lash out when they are cornered. When someone is in denial about who they are, they get defensive... and they can get hurtful." He looked at him meaningfully. Duo looked away. "I'm not in denial..." He argued halfheartedly. "But even if I was, I would never hurt you like that." "Yes, you will." The other calmly stated with a sad smile. "And I don't care." "I would never hit you." "That's not what I mean." Heero leaned his head on Duo's shoulder and sighed. After a few moments he got up off the bed and gathered his old set of clothes and his towel in his arms. "If you want, you can come join us for lunch." "I punched the guy," He reminded him dryly. "So? It might be good for you two to talk." "I know what you want. Look, just because Marc has apparently come around and is now gay, doesn't mean that having a little chat with him would change me. If he is really capable of that kind of change, than good for him. But I'm not changing. I'm too old to change anyway. And if that is the kind of change you want, than congratulations," He spat, his tone becoming more and more venomous, "You're experiment with Marc has turned out to be a big success. You can just go back to him and reap the benefits of your success." "You think I turned him gay?" "I think he thinks you've turned him gay." "And what about you?" He angrily dropped the bundle of clothes to the floor. "Do you think I can brainwash you into thinking you're gay? Do you think that's what is happening?" "Maybe! I don't know! Life has certainly become more confusing since you showed up. And what I'm feeling- You make me feel like I- Like I-" Heero stared at him. "What?" Like I love you! He thought to himself, but his jaw was thankfully wired shut. He just sat there, with his jaw clenched, his balled fists trembling at his sides. What the young man was doing to him wasn't fair. What he was expecting of him wasn't fair. They had agreed it would strictly be about physical gratification. With a growl Heero bent forward and with hasty, jerky movements he started picking up his clothes from the floor, cradling them in his arms. Once he had gathered up the last piece he walked out the bedroom door and moments later Duo could hear him leave through the kitchen door. Duo let himself fall backwards onto the bed with a sigh. All they seemed to be doing was fighting, then making up, only to have an even worse fight. His heart throbbed painfully in his chest. He didn't want to fight with Heero, but there were only two solutions to their constant arguments and he liked neither. One option was to cut their losses, before they would really fuck each other over. But Duo wasn't willing to let go of the young man. The other possible solution would call for Duo to open up to that side of his sexuality, the side that had always been condemned. He couldn't do that either, how could he live with himself if he admitted to being the one thing his God hates most? Or so he had been taught. Religion had been the only constant in his life, the only support that never failed him. It asked him to make sacrifices in return for that support and guidance but to Duo a situation of give and take was only reasonable. To let go of that for something that was so unstable and so risky would most likely turn out to be regrettable. Still, he couldn't stop thinking about it; he couldn't stop thinking about him. He wondered what it would be like if he would dissolve his own barriers and actually let Heero get close to him, let him blanket his darkest, most private parts with his youthfulness, his kindness, his hopefulness, his warmth. He wondered what it would be like to be free. Freedom was a concept that had always frightened him, which was exactly why he liked the rules of the church and why he spent his life holed up in his house. Freedom he had considered to be synonymous with uncertainty, vulnerability, being out in the open, unprotected. There was never anything in his life that made him feel like he wanted to step outside his mental gated-community. Never before had there been something out there worth reaching beyond the gates for. Now there was Heero. If Duo stayed inside his little fortress there would always be a space between them, a distance which he loathed. But was that love? And even if it was, was that the kind of love worth sacrificing the love of God for? He sat upright when he heard the old truck next door sputter to life and pull out of the driveway. Heero was leaving for his lunch with Marc. Marc, too, was out there beyond the gate, standing right by Heero. Nothing stood between them. Nothing would keep them apart in the way that Duo and Heero were kept apart. Which might be what had suddenly caused him to be so annoyed with being behind that metaphoric gate. He stomped downstairs, hoping to distract himself from his own possessive thoughts. He tried to read a book and he tried to eat, but without much success. His mind could only focus on one thing and it made him lose his appetite. Desperate - and bored - he found himself with his phone to his ear, listening to the tones until the call was answered. "WuFei," Said the gruff man on the other end of the line. "Hey..." He chuckled at himself. "I don't know why I called you." He could practically feel his friend frown. "What's going on? Hold on a second, I should go to the back." He waited as he knew his wheelchair-bound friend had placed the phone in his lap so he could go through the backdoor of the store into the small office. He heard him instruct his wife to mind the store and then he brought the phone to his ear again. "Something is wrong," WuFei concluded. "You're the only person I can talk to, but you are never going to say the things I wanted you to say." "Which would be?" "That I should forget about Heero and focus on God... and my writing." He snorted. "I agree that you need to focus a bit more on your writing..." Duo chuckled and thought to himself; always the manager. "But I definitely don't think you should forget about Heero." Duo sighed. "My life may depend on it, you should know. He gives me cold sweats and heart palpitations." "Duo, you know what I am going to say..." "That I love him?" WuFei was purposefully quiet. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I slept with him," He blurted, ill-advised. It was quiet for a long time. "Holy shit." He didn't know why he was telling WuFei this, the Chinese man would only make things more difficult for him, because he was never going to tell him what he wanted to hear. "Wait, do you mean that as a euphemism for sex or do you mean you just slept in the same bed together?" "I'm not twelve, Chang!" "Well, excuse me, but it's been so long one could argue your virginity has grown back, so I just had to make sure." "We had sex, okay!" With a teasing tone of voice his long-time friend wondered: "How was it?" "I'm not going to tell you!" He groaned in embarrassment and then shared candidly: "It was amazing." "Of course it was, you haven't gotten laid in ten years." "Seven." He ignored the matter-of-fact correction and inquired: "So now what?" Duo shook his head. "You tell me." "I say: don't wait another fucking seven years." In a quiet tone he said seriously: "I don't know what to do, WuFei. I can't consolidate what I feel for Heero with what I have been taught about God and religion. It's one or the other, but one I don't want to give up and the other I can't give up." "Duo, I don't mean to be insensitive. But we've been through this. I don't know what to say, because I feel silly saying the same thing over and over again." He sighed and continued: "But you know what? Maybe that is exactly why you called. You knew precisely what I am going to say and maybe that is exactly what you needed to hear. Not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear," He emphasized. Duo cradled his face in his hand, knowing what was coming. "Please go to that church I keep telling you about. Things have changed Duo and you should see that. Sally's parents stopped going to their old church years ago and now they go there. At their old place they preached the same nonsense you've been force-fed all your life, but this church is modern and open-minded. It could help you accept who you are." The man snorted. "I have a church, you don't just go someplace else because you don't like what's on the menu. My father would die all over again." "Then let him die all over again. So what if he'll be twice as dead? You are still here, you have to live with yourself." "I can't just..." Frustrated he searched for the right words to express his conflict, but the most coherent thing he could come up with was: "I can't change." "You're right," WuFei asserted. "You can't change. You haven't changed. You're still the same as you were when you were seventeen; gay, in love with a boy, but too damn scared to disappoint your parents or your God. You were never straight, because that is something you can't control." He bit hard on his lower lip. He didn't want to cry, he was worried the Chinese man would be able to hear it in his cracking voice and although he was his best friend, he was too scared to show that kind of vulnerability. "I don't want to be gay." Through gritted teeth WuFei said: "Tough luck. Deal with it. You keep saying it like it is the worst thing possible, but you know what? It's not! It's not a bad thing and if you would just get your head in order and stop listening to those hate-preaches you would realize that." "You don't know how hard it is to be the thing you were taught to hate." "You know what's hard, Duo? Losing control over your legs. Having no sensation below the waist - think about that one! Having a sack of your own shit strapped to the chair you are confined in for the rest of your life." Duo was taken aback by his outburst. The man had rarely shown emotion, never in that magnitude. "I'm sorry..." He took a moment to compose himself. "What I'm trying to say is that I know what it is like to hate yourself. What saved me from that is having someone who loves me. You should have the same thing. Heero could be that person for you, that person that loves you and helps you love yourself. So let him." "I don't even know if Heero really loves me, like that." "Yes, you do, don't make excuses. I'll even come with you to that church. I might fall asleep during the service, or get struck by lightning, whatever, but I'll go with you." Duo shook this head. "I have to think about this, I-" He paused when his ears picked up the sound of footsteps on his front porch, apparently he had failed to notice the old red truck pulling back into the driveway. "I have to go, Heero is here." The doorbell chimed. "Good. Now remember, don't wait another seven years." "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll talk to you later." Before he disconnected the line he thought to thank WuFei, who brushed it off. He got up and hurried to the hallway. He ripped the front door open and was, frankly, more than a little disappointed when his guest turned out not to be Heero. "Marc," He blurted. "Marciano," The man corrected, he seemed to thicken his accent on purpose, making him sound more exotic than he likely really was. Duo looked him up and down in contempt, but the noticeable bruise on his perfectly symmetrical face had the corners of his mouth twitching into a self-satisfied smirk. The man was dressed impeccably, a pair of grey slacks and a pastel blue shirt of the finest material, casually unbuttoned at the collar. The black curls that framed his face moved gently in the cool breeze. "Where's Heero?" Duo poked his head out the front door and noticed the only car in the neighboring driveway was 'Marciano's' white sedan rental. "After our lunch he went to get more supplies for his renovation. He said something about bathroom fixtures." He waved his hand dismissively. "I thought that we could have a talk." "Heero put you up to this?" He frowned. "Heero doesn't even know I'm here right now." Not knowing what to do he idled in the doorway, gripping the post in one hand and the doorknob in the other. "Can I come inside, so we can talk?" Duo preferred not to have this man step into his sanctuary, but when he looked past the broad shoulder he could see Relena stand by her mailbox, pretending to examine her letters, but he caught her stare. The women was in desperate need of a hobby. She had way too much free time on her hands to spy on and gossip about her neighbors. Not knowing how the conversation would go, it would be better to conduct it in the privacy of his home, so, reluctantly, he stepped aside and gestured for Marc to enter. He strutted inside and immediately started scrutinizing the interior. A slight smile appeared on his face. "What?" Duo sneered. "Well, haven't you noticed?" He asked, barely bothering to mask his condescending tone. Duo shrugged. "It's obvious where Heero gets his inspiration for his current renovation." Duo frowned, he hadn't noticed, not even when he occasionally lent a helping hand. "It's nice. It's... homely. I can see why it appeals to him." "Did you come to talk about my décor?" The braided man challenged. "Clearly I came to talk about Heero." He nodded at the couch. "Can I take a seat?" Duo looked past him at the white couch and remembered the evening he had sat there with Heero and he had spewed wine all over it. "No." Marc chuckled. "Alright. Can I sit anywhere?" Duo looked around, surprised at the memories that had been invisibly etched into every piece of furniture. Heero was everywhere. He didn't want this unwanted guest to taint those memories. "No." "Fine. I'll stand. We should keep this short anyway." "I would greatly prefer that, yes." He was mindful to keep his distance. He couldn't rule out that the younger, taller man was looking for revenge for that punch he suffered last night. "So?" "I'm here for Heero." "Yeah, I figured that was what the chat would be about." "No, not just that. I'm here for Heero," He reiterated. "I made a mistake when I let him go. I was confused. I'm not anymore. I want Heero to come with me. I want us to have the kind of relationship he always wanted us to have." Duo looked down at the hardwood floor. "Why are you telling me this? What do I have to do with this?" "You're the one thing that would stand in our way. Heero likes you. He won't leave as long as he believes he has a chance with you." "Well... Than... That's his decision," He retorted with a slight smirk. "Don't you think you should be fair to him?" Duo frowned at him. "I understand your struggles, Duo, it was the same for me-" "What did Heero tell you?" He interjected. "Nothing, it is plain for everyone to see. You like him, but you're not ready. Just like I wasn't ready. But I am now. I am years ahead of you. Don't you think Heero has waited long enough? Do you really want him to have to wait for you to be ready?" Duo eyed him suspiciously. "Duo," He made a face at saying the odd name out loud, "I'm sure you're a nice guy. Heero certainly thinks so and he's usually right about people." Except you, the American thought to himself. "But you got out of the gates too late. You're not going to catch up with me before the finish line." Duo rubbed his eyes at the obnoxious metaphor, still he couldn't deny the truth behind what Marc was saying. His entire body tensed up when Marc unexpectedly laid a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you agree you should just save yourself the trouble and do this at your own pace? As opposed to rushing yourself to get ahead of me? I didn't do this at full sprint either, you know? I took my time." He removed his hand and shrugged. "I just had a head start, that's all." He offered a smile. "In a couple of years you'll be ready and there will be a... nice man for you, I'm sure of it. Someone your own age." Duo glared up at him at the poorly veiled insult. He raised his hands in surrender. "No offense. But come on, you have to agree with me. How old are you?" The innocent enough question felt like a punch in his gut. "That's none of your business." He smirked, the glint in his eyes revealed his thought-process: only old people refuse to say their age. "Heero is twenty-five. Twenty-five," He emphasized. "Don't talk to me like I'm senile!" Duo barked, taking a step back. "You have to admit it's not a good fit. Heero moves around constantly, he is always in motion. You are obviously," He pointedly looked at the vast collection of books, "settled. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?" He laughed at himself. "That isn't exactly a correct analogy, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say." Duo nodded slowly. "Don't we both have Heero's best interest at heart?" He narrowed his eyes at the Italian, not sure if he was really taking Heero into consideration. His actions seemed more selfish than anything. One thing was glaringly obvious to Duo, neither of them were a good match for Heero, albeit for very different reasons. Neither of them was good enough for him. Marc sighed and looked down at his watch. "I should go, before Heero comes back. We can keep this between us, right?" He nodded dumbly. "Great. Think about what I said, okay?" He excused himself and let himself out through the front door. He remained standing in the hallway, nailed to the hardwood floor. He was utterly lost in thought, but he couldn't make any sense of it. A meaningless mist of words and feelings surrounded him. Him and Marc were both selfish, he eventually managed to distill from the foggy mess of his mind. Heero would be better off without both of them. But Marc wasn't going to relent for the sake of Heero. He felt it was his duty to protect Heero from Marc - and from his feelings for Marc, whether or not he realized he was still inexplicably drawn to the angry drunk. Duo's motivations weren't entirely pure, he simply couldn't stand the thought of losing Heero to that sly, smug asshole, not even when he knew 'losing Heero' was a natural conclusion to their story. He was not going to forfeit this figurative 'race' Marc spoke of, he wasn't going to give him the pleasure. If Heero wasn't going to make it difficult for him to weasel his way back into his life, than Duo sure as Hell would. He loitered in his house occupying himself with small tasks, trying to create some kind of order and organization in the excessive amounts of books; the volume of which spilled well beyond the confines of the wall of bookcases and onto every readily available, flat surface around the house, even the floor. He was just going through a particularly dusty stack in a corner by a dying potted plant when he heard the familiar sputter of the old truck of his neighbor. Wasting no time he shot up and headed out the back door, crossing the lawn to the back of the yard where the hedge was still thinned out - getting even thinner in fact, with him and Heero going through there as often as they did. He was genuinely surprised at the fact that the sun had already started to set. He climbed onto the back porch of the neighboring house even before Heero had made his way through the house, switching on lights as he went. When the young man entered the kitchen, fumbling to flick on the light with plastic bags in each hand, Duo knocked on the door. Heero put away the bags on the kitchen counter before approaching the door and unlocking it. He didn't even bother opening the door for his neighbor, instead moving back to the counter to unpack Chinese take-out from one of the bags. The others had the brand names of home depots on them. With his back turned towards his guest, who let himself inside, he wondered matter-of-factly: "Would you like some? There's plenty, I couldn't decide if I wanted the sweet and sour pork or the kung pao chicken, so I got both..." He yelped when suddenly Duo was flush behind him, wrapping his arms around him and stroking his hands across his torso. Fuelled by primal, unbridled lust Duo was able to put aside his inhibitions and concerns and follow the signals that his body and Heero's body were giving him. He rocked his groin against Heero's ass, quickly reaching a full state of arousal. Looking over his shoulder he smelled the Chinese food, he could see Heero gripping the edge of the counter, bracing himself, and he could hear his favorable moans. With one hand on Heero's chin he gently coaxed the younger man into turning his head so he could kiss him. Heero raised his arms and reached back, taking a tight hold of the base of Duo's braid. "What's gotten into you?" Heero moaned between kisses and then let out a breathy chuckle. "I like it." He gasped when Duo reached both hands under his shirt, caressing the smooth skin over his taut abdomen before moving up. His touch was inexperienced, yet effective. The young man arched his back at the sensations when Duo eventually figured the best way to illicit his moans and gasps was to roll the hardened nubs of his nipples between his fingers. Duo moved to nuzzle the soft hairs at the nape of his neck and kiss the heated skin above his collar. One of his hand dropped down and attempted to open the front of Heero's jeans. He growled in frustration when his uncoordinated hand couldn't master the button fly. Heero took one hand off the counter to aid him but soon sought support with both hands again when the large hand slipped into his pants and fondled his erection through his underwear. Heero was breathing harshly through his mouth, the sound intermitted by strangled moans, which changed in pitch and frequency when Duo's hand finally pushed inside his briefs. In the meantime their hips rocked together roughly, the simple friction provided the inexperienced older man with more than enough stimulation. He rested his head on the shorter man's shoulder, letting out raspy groans. "Duo," Heero started with deep voice. "There are condoms in the bedroom- or... sitting room really." His remark made the situation seem that much more real and no longer like a fantasy he could later detach himself from. The reality of it made him nervous. He continued to practically pound his pelvis against Heero, replying through gritted teeth: "Don't you think this is enough?" "I want more, Duo," He moaned pathetically in response. "I want to feel you inside me again." Duo clenched his jaw, trying to focus on the pleasure rather than getting distracted by the technicality of a condom, but the word alone triggered memories that threatened to ruin the moment. He was reminded of Heero's past, his HIV-scare, his doomed relationship with the platinum blonde Zechs, his affair with carpenter Trowa and his failed attempt at a relationship with his former best friend Marc. Through apparently random spreading activation, he felt himself starting to get less aroused. Those failed loves had hurt Heero deeply, he didn't want to hurt Heero like that, but it was happening, it was inevitable. He hated that. He hated himself for that. But how could he prevent this from becoming another heartbreaking, failed romance for the younger man? It seemed too late to stop it, if WuFei was right about Heero's feelings. "Don't you want to fuck me?" Heero mewled temptingly, not yet aware of the shift in demeanor occurring behind him. The pace of his hips slowed, his hand down Heero's pants stilled. He took his hands off his heated body and staggered backwards. Heero turned around on shaky legs, leaning against the counter with the small of his back, hands seeking purchase on the edge on either side of his hips. "Do you want me to get them?" He asked breathlessly, with a dark blush on his cheeks and hooded, passionate eyes. "What?" Heero pushed off the counter. Not bothering to repeat his question he stated: "I'm going to get the condoms." "No, don't." The young man stared at him. "I don't know what I'm doing." Heero turned his head away. He knew where this was going. With shaky fingers he started buttoning up his jeans. Once he was done with the task he wiped a hand across his face, perhaps to wipe away tears as he was clearly upset by the turn of events. "Heero-" "Just end it, Duo!" Heero snapped. "Go ahead, end it!" "I can't..." "What is that supposed to mean?" He took a step forward but froze when Heero reeled back. Heero's eyes were wild. Carefully, Duo asked: "Do you love me?" He narrowed his eyes at the American. "Fuck you." "Do you?" He pressed. His shoulders slumped. Defeatedly he admitted: "Yes, I love you, okay!" He covered his mouth with his hand, hiding the trembling lower lip. Then he laughed at himself bitterly. His eyes were definitely welling up. "Another brilliant decision on my part." "Will you come to church with me?"
|
