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"Equilibrium"Written By: Zazu Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I
own the characters. I have borrowed them here for some fun and creativity,
and this is not for profit. I do, however, own the plot mentioned
here, and any instances that you may find similar to real life events
are purely a coincidence. All of the characters depicted in this story
are adults. Rating: G Warnings: None Pairings: 1+2 Summary: Duo reflects on Heero’s physique
and just what Heero means to him now that they are together after
the war. "Equilibrium "
Okay, that's a bit obvious; I mean he's slim, lithe,
got hidden muscles, abs of gundanium... But there's just something more. It's not that I need
Heero to come to my rescue like I'm a damsel in distress. I don't
need him to take care of me in a fight between my Deathscythe and
a fleet of mobile suits. At least not for the most part. It's a different kind of security. I didn't grow up with a lot. Solo, I think, offered
me that first sense of security. Something to be anchored by. Someone
I could sort of rely on. That didn't last long, not when he died in
the plague. When I moved on to the Maxwell Church, the sense of security
I had was the fact that I had a bit of food almost every day. Thinking of the past always makes me shiver. Those days
were long gone; hell the war had ended three years ago. I was long
past those days of starvation and struggling to survive. I glanced at Heero where he lay beside me, sleeping
soundly. I didn't look for long; if I did he would wake up. I turned
back to the ceiling with a silent sigh. Heero had come out of the war...emotionally handicapped.
It took a long time for me to discover exactly why, exactly what he'd
grown up with; what he'd grown up like. But it doesn't mean that he
doesn't understand emotions. He's extremely intellectual and it scares
me to admit this, but he can look at me and know what I need. I wouldn't
go so far as to say that words are not necessary between us, but he
just...knows sometimes. It's so difficult to put into words that warm feeling
that Heero gives me. When he reaches for me, when he wraps his arms
around me or lets me do the same to him, I feel like I'm anchored
to the world. To him. That's the sort of security I mean; to know
he's there, to know that he'll be there as long possible, as nothing
tears us apart. He turned his head, nuzzling the pillow, so I slid closer,
sliding my arm across his waist. He always turns when I do that, and
this time is no exception. His back turned to me; I could see the
scars from the war, from his self destruction stunt, from the many
battles we were in. His shoulders had broadened since the end of the
war and I always think of his back as being my wall. I pressed close
and breathed in deeply at his neck, smelling his scent and knowing
that I was the only one who could ever get close enough to smell his
unique musk. Heero lets me lean, not just physically, and that's
something I needed coming out of the war. The security I needed, coming
out of a life and knowing that, Gods, I didn't have to do it alone,
live alone, survive alone anymore. We're not exactly attached at the hip, but these little
moments were enough for me, just to lean a little and know he won't
let me fall. Fingers tangled with mine and he tugged my hand up to
his chin, kissing my knuckles lightly. I leaned closer. "I'm awake," I whispered. "Mm," he kissed my knuckles again. "Warm,"
he added after a moment. I nuzzled him. "Very warm," I agreed. He shifted after a moment until he had my head pillowed
on his chest where I could hear his heartbeat and he could fist my
braid in his hand. I liked his chest too, liked hearing his heartbeat,
liked feeling his hand in my hair. It lets me know that I'm not the
only one who leans; that he needs me too. It always makes me think
of two people leaning against each other with equal force so that
they can remain upright. I believe that Heero and I are nothing but
a perfect equilibrium. He rubbed his chin at the top of my head. "What?" I asked. "Nothing," he sighed, tracing a finger at
the back of my neck. I moved up a little more and left my arm wrapped
across his chest. Cuddles don't have to happen after being intimate
and these quiet moments in the morning were something that I had definitely
learned to treasure. He turned, his nose bumping into mine. "Love you," he whispered. I smiled. - END -
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