"Wish Upon a Star "

Written By: Waterliliylf

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. All rights remain with Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. No profit being made here.

Rating: R

Warnings: sap, angst, fluff, AU

Pairings: 3x4

Summary: When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are, unless you're the heir to the Winner business empire. So when you do find a means of escape, how long can you hold on to the fantasy, and the man of your dreams, before reality takes over?

"Wish Upon a Star "

Homecoming:

He knew precisely how long the shuttle from Sanque should take to reach L4. Time wasn't behaving very well though. In a few short hours, the universe had tilted.

He and Heero had been on their way back to the city when Iria had called with the news that their father had been rushed to hospital. Heero had diverted the helicopter to the shuttle port and Iria had been there to meet him. She hadn't said, then, that she blamed him. It hadn't been necessary. She'd just given him a quick hug, wished him a safe journey, and told Heero to look after him.

He'd watched the stars for a while, thinking about wishes, and then pulled down the blind.

It was all his fault, Quatre thought. The guilt felt bitter as bile in his throat, threatening to choke him. All his fault, as usual. His mother had died giving birth to him; now his father was close to death and it was his fault.

And Trowa never wanted to see him again.

He'd cried in the helicopter, with Heero alternately trying to pretend he didn't see, and assuring him that they'd fix it all, somehow. His best friend had insisted on coming to L4 with him, and in honesty he hadn't protested very hard.

It didn't feel like he was going home. Home had become Wish over the last few weeks, and now he wasn't welcome there any more.

He spent the long shuttle flight trying very hard not to think about that; about the look in Trowa's eyes before he'd turned and walked away. Heero stayed in the cockpit with Rashid and Auda for most of the trip, giving him privacy. They probably all expected him to break down and cry his heart out but he didn't have any tears left, at that stage.

He'd cried again when Iria rang to inform him that the editor of the tabloid had taken one look at the resources WEI could summon against him, and agreed to kill the story. At least, Trowa's life wasn't going to be headline news.

The one tiny blessing in the whole affair.

No more tears, then. Instead, he flipped open the computer Heero had lent him and spent the last few hours trying to find a solution.

By the time they landed, he had a sketchy outline of a plan in place, and spent the drive to the hospital explaining it to Heero.

His father had just been released from Intensive Care to a private ward. He looked shrunken and terribly vulnerable lying in his hospital bed, attached to wires and tubes and monitors.

'I'm so sorry,' Quatre managed to gasp, before dropping to his knees by the bed. 'Father, I'm so very sorry for everything.'

'Quatre.' Asef Winner's voice was surprisingly strong. 'Stop that. You really have got to stop blaming yourself for everything that takes place in the universe.'

'But it's my fault that you got sick again.'

'No, it isn't.' Asef pulled himself up on his pillows, suddenly not looking like a delicate old man, but one who'd spent most of his life running the largest corporation on L4. 'It's mine. I insisted on attended a board meeting yesterday, against my doctors' orders, and then foolishly allowed myself to get worked up over something that was really quite minor, and had a very mild stroke as a result. It had absolutely nothing to do with you.'

'Oh.' The sheer relief of it took his breath away. 'Truly?'

'Truly. Now, sit down and tell me about this man you've met who's been causing all this trouble? Are you in love with him?'

'Yes.' There was something surreal about this conversation. His father had always known he was gay, but it was something they'd never talked about. It was a little scary and exhilarating all at once. If Asef Winner had ever referred to his son's sexuality before, he had made oblique references to going through a phase and how young men needed to experiment. 'More than anything.'

'I see. Am I going to meet him?'

'I – I hope so. One day. But he doesn't like me very much at the moment. Not that I blame him.'

'I assume you're planning to remedy this?'

'I do have a plan, yes. But Father, the doctors said you're not to be worried….'

Asef snapped out a curse in Arabic. 'If you don't tell me, I'll worry myself into another heart attack. Your sister may think she can wrap me up in silk and keep me cocooned from the real world, but that isn't how it works. Now, you want to be with this man, yes?'

'I do.'

'Times are changing, but slowly. You do know the rest of the Board will never accept a chairman who is living openly with another man?'

Quatre nodded. It was something he'd always known. The rest of L4 might be ready to embrace some social changes, but the main boardroom at WEI still had hand-woven carpets from Arabia and the men who sat on them wanted things to be as they had been in the olden days on Earth. 'Of course I do. Father…do….do you mind? What I am?'

Asef sighed heavily. 'What you are, Quatre, is my most beloved son. That isn't going to change, ever. I can't exactly condemn you for falling in love either, considering I did exactly the same thing. You know your grandfather never wanted me to marry your mother. He already had a girl picked out for me; a suitable girl from an old L4 family. I don't think he ever truly forgave me for marrying against his wishes. I don't want you to feel that way.'

He squeezed Quatre's hand with thin fingers. 'Allah forgive me, your mother was never happy on L4. Too many conventions, too many restrictions. If I'd been a brave man, I'd have taken her back to Earth and started a new life with her, but I wasn't. And she never complained, not once.' He smiled fondly. 'You're so like her.'

'I wish I'd known her,' Quatre said daringly. Father never, never talked about any of this. They'd all grown up knowing they weren't allowed to talk about Mother because it made him sad.

'She would have loved you,' Asef said firmly. 'There's so much of her in you. She would have been very proud of her son.'

'Thank you,' Quatre whispered. 'But I…I'm not very proud of myself right now. I think I've ruined everything with Trowa, and I know Iria managed to stop that awful story, but there may be more. People know about me now. Journalists. At some point, it's all going to come out.'

He smiled bitterly at the pun. 'You can't really have a chairman with that hanging over him. I'm sorry. I've always known that my life was planned out for me, before I was even born. I've known what I was supposed to do. But, Father, I don't think I can. And we both know that Iria would be a far better CEO that I ever would.'

'If she'd been born a boy, yes. The shareholders will never appoint a woman, and your sisters will all prefer to see their husbands or sons in the position.'

'I know. That's why I don't plan for her to be elected. I told you I had a plan and I do. Listen.'

Asef's eyes were very wide when his son finished. 'You are quite sure you want to do this?'

Quatre nodded. 'More sure than I've ever been of anything.'

'A great many people are going to be unhappy as a result.'

'Very probably. But it's legal. There are several precedents in the family over the last couple of centuries.' His mouth twisted. 'Apparently; it's not just me; not all of our ancestors have wanted to run WEI either. I've already checked with the lawyers, and once I'm appointed CEO, I will have the power to do this. I'm sure everyone will learn to live with it eventually.'

Asef squeezed his hand tightly. 'So. You've finally realised you can't please everyone in the universe.'

'I don't want to, not any more. Trowa fell in love with me, because of me. And I realised I've spent my whole life thinking people wouldn't like me unless I was the perfect brother or employee or …'

'Son?' Asef suggested gently.

'I suppose. I always only wanted you to be proud of me, and I've caused so much trouble.'

'Never,' his father objected. 'You've never caused me a day's trouble in your life, save for worrying that you needed a little ….strength of character, shall we say? Not like your sisters.' He chuckled suddenly. 'Do you remember how Marianne threatened to go into a decline when she was forbidden to see that awful man she became infatuated with? Or the trouble we had finding a wedding gown for Elise that wouldn't advertise her condition too blatantly? By contrast, you've been a model child.'

'Hardly that,' Quatre said wryly.

'Stop that,' Asef ordered. 'You're just looking for flattery now.'

'Very well.' Quatre looked down at his hands, still holding his father's. 'I didn't just meet Trowa in Sanque, Father. I made some other friends. People who didn't know who I was, but liked me anyway. It was ….amazing. Even when Duo found out who I really am, he said the only thing he wanted from me was that I make Trowa happy.'

And he'd failed miserably there.

'Who's Duo?'

'A friend of Trowa's. He works in the bookshop. He's amazing.'

Asef smiled faintly. 'Is the one who's been keeping Heero in Sanque then?'

Quatre's head shot up. 'Yes. How did you know?'

'I've known Heero for years, son. I've rarely met anyone who's so driven by their work, and he's missed three meetings in the last week to discuss updating our company software. There's obviously been some incentive to hold him in Sanque.'

'But..how did you know he was gay?'

'Because I'm not the fool my children seem to think I am. I used to think that you and he, well, never mind that. I'm glad he's found someone.'

'It's a little complicated,' Quatre said softly. 'Duo's seeing someone else, and you know Heero. He's far too honourable to say anything.'

'Love does tend to be complicated. I promised Odin, you know, that I'd look after him. Fathers just want their children to be happy, Quatre.'

'Thank you.'

'Now, tell me, what are you planning to do after you drop your bombshell and win your Trowa back? Spend the rest of your life selling books?'

'No. I love being in the shop, and I'll be happy to help out whenever he needs me, but that's Trowa's business. I'd love to stay involved with WEI at some level. I was thinking, when this merger goes through, that I could work at our offices in Sanque. Iria is going to be a wonderful CEO in lots of ways, but she tends to forget that balance sheets aren't just figures. They represent people's lives and livelihoods. I'd like to be a ….a sort of liaison. I know WEI inside out and I can learn about Sanque. I can represent their interests. We've been seeing Sanque purely as a resource we can exploit, but there are people who live there and love their country and someone needs to consider their interests too. I think I can do that.'

Asef shook his head slowly. 'I very much look forward to meeting this Trowa. He's a good influence on you! Now, we need to talk practicalities. It's high time WEI had someone permanent in charge. When I originally stepped down, I think most of the Board thought it was only for a short time, that I'd take a few months off to recuperate and then come back to work. When it was obvious that wasn't going to happen, they assumed you'd take over straightaway, but I convinced them you needed more time to finish your studies, and gain a little experience first. In the interim, they agreed to let your sister take charge, as a purely temporary measure, but I've had many of them approach me to find out just when you'll be appointed.'

'I understand. When is the next board meeting?'

'In two weeks. Would you prefer us to bring the date forward?'

Quatre thought about. Some things couldn't be rushed, and maybe Trowa needed a little time too. 'No. I don't think so. I need to talk to Iria, and I'm going to need some time to prepare my case.'

Asef nodded. 'That makes sense. You want to present your Trowa with a fait accompli, yes?'

Your Trowa.

If only.

'Something like that,' Quatre admitted. 'I've hurt him terribly, you know. I've lied to him, and let him believe things that weren't true, and I need to make that up to him. Somehow.'

Asef gave him a rather faded smile. 'If he cares for you, he'll forgive you. Eventually.' He lay back on his pillow, breathing a little shallowly.

'Are you all right? Should I call the doctors?'

'Ah, Quatre. Stop worrying. I'm an old man and I need to rest. That's all.' His smile was a little more real this time; full of aching affection. 'Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise. I had a notion that maybe I could go back to running WEI, one day. I see now that's not going to happen. It would never be allowed anyway; after I collapsed in a meeting. It's time for me to accept I need to take a little care of myself. Perhaps I can find a hobby or do some travelling. Things I've never had time to do. Now, I need to rest a little, and you have a great deal of work to do.'

Quatre nodded fervently, bending down to kiss his father's forehead.

Heero, of course, was waiting outside the door. 'How is he?'

'He'll be fine, provided he stops pushing himself so hard.'

Heero snorted. 'That'll be the day.'

'No, I think he's starting to accept things a little. We had the most amazing conversation. About things we never talk about. Me being gay, and my mother, and their marriage.'

'He made you smile,' his best friend observed. 'He's agreed to what you want to do, then?'

'In principle, yes. He has.'

'Well, that's good,' Heero said firmly. 'We have a plan to carry out, and his approval. Are you ready to go home now?'

Home.

It wouldn't be home, and even less so without his father there. There would just be his old nanny fussing and servants falling over themselves to anticipate his every wish and assistants clamouring over diaries and schedules and deadlines.

'Not really.'

Heero gave him a long look. 'You'd better come home with me then.'

His friend's little apartment wasn't used all that much. Heero travelled frequently with work, and when he was on L4 he spent a lot of time at the Winner mansion. It was still very much a reflection of its owner's personality, with mountain bikes to squeeze by in the narrow hallway, books and computers and books on computers crowding the shelves in the living-room, and a couple of very comfortable armchairs.

Quatre flopped into one and flicked on the gas fire, while Heero warmed up milk. He wrapped both hands around the out-size mug of cocoa and tried not to think about Trowa. Trowa had made cocoa that very first night in his home. It had been revolting, with brandy and far too much sugar.

Trowa had hugged him tightly when Quatre tried to pretend he wasn't in shock.

He took a tissue from the box Heero was holding out, and rubbed it across his eyes. 'Sorry.'

'Are you going to call him?'

'I tried. His 'phone's switched off.'

'Call Duo then.' Heero looked at him. 'Cat. You need to know what's going on.'

Cat. No one had ever called him that before, on L4.

'I know.' His voice shook slightly. 'I know, Heero. Trowa said he never wants to see me again, and maybe Duo feels like that too, and I don't want him to hate me as well.'

'Duo's your friend.' Heero pressed his own 'phone into Quatre's hand. 'Call him. It's morning back in Sanque; he should be in the shop. It's on speed dial. 02.'

'Heero?' Duo sounded out of breath, like he'd just run up several flights of stairs.

'No, he lent me his 'phone. It's Cat. Quatre.'

'Cat!' He didn't sound angry, just relieved and very concerned. 'Are you OK? I tried to call you before, but I think my phone doesn't work for calls to space.'

'I'm all right. Well, I'm not really. How is Trowa?'

Duo's heavy sigh travelled easily half way across the universe. 'He's pretty pissed, Cat. And he's already told me I'm not to talk to you.'

'Oh! Do you want me to hang up? I don't want to get you into trouble.'

'Don't be stupid. Tro doesn't get to tell me stuff like that. He's not here anyway. He drove me back here and then took off. Said he'd be gone for a few days.'

Quatre swallowed. 'You don't think he'll do….anything stupid? You know what I mean.'

'God, no. He's not like that. This is how he deals with stuff, though. Goes off alone.'

'I – did try to call him before. He wasn't picking up.'

'Yeah. I don't know if he even took his phone with him. I made him promise to call every day or so, in case I need to ask him stuff about the shop.'

'Duo, how is he?'

Duo was silent for a few moments. 'He doesn't really do upset, you know. He gets mad about stuff, like he was with Rob, and he goes and does something stupid. When he's upset, he just sort of closes down and takes off. When he comes back, he won't talk about it and it's like it never happened.'

After another, longer pause, he started again. 'He was really, really hurt. You know about Treize, right? He's only mentioned him to me a couple of times and that was when he was drunk. I think that was the only other time he's been serious about anyone. And he really fell head over heels for you. He's been out with dozens of guys since I've known him, and he never lets Ellie meet them, or brings them into the shop, or lets them move in with him. You've got to fix this. I know him. He'll go off and brood over this, and convince himself it'd never have worked and then he'll come home and he'll never talk about you. Ever.'

'I want to fix it,' Quatre said haltingly. 'I have a plan, but it's going to take a while and I'll have to stay here to do it. Or do you think I should just come straight back to Sanque and try to talk to him?'

'Whatever this plan is, if it's going to make things better, then do it.' Duo spoke with no hesitation whatsoever. 'I don't know when he's going to come home and you just coming back to say sorry isn't going to do any good. Not after all this. He let himself fall really hard for you, Cat. He doesn't do that. I need you to sort this out, OK?'

'I'll try.' Quatre blinked back the sudden sting of tears.

'Good. Cat, I'd better go. There're people waiting to be served. Say hi to Heero. Call me, right?'

Heero took his phone back. 'He didn't want to talk to me?'

'Oh! Heero, I'm so sorry. He had customers, but he did say to say hello. You should call him back. I'm sure he'd love to talk to you.'

'Maybe later.'

'You should tell him, you know,' Quatre said softly. 'I think he likes you.'

'There's no point. He has someone else.'

Quatre gave his friend a long, hard stare. 'You're in love with him, aren't you?' He already knew the answer; it was the first time he'd ever seen his friend fall like that for someone.

Heero gave a curt nod, hair tumbling over his forehead. 'Since I saw him the first time,' he said in a low voice.

'In the helicopter, before we landed, you told me that if I wanted to get Trowa back, I'd have to work at it, and it wouldn't be easy. If Duo really loves Zechs, then it won't make any difference if you tell him. And if he doesn't, then they won't last anyway.' He took a sip of his drink. 'I don't know, Heero. I'm hardly qualified to give anyone advice on relationships, am I?'

His friend surprised him with a quick, sudden hug. 'Maybe you are. You screwed up but now you're doing everything you can to fix it. And you were brave enough to take the chance in the first place.'

'That wasn't bravery. That was falling in love. And then, as you said, I screwed it all up.'

'Falling in love isn't brave?' Heero lifted an eyebrow at him. 'Trowa's not stupid and he's mad about you. You'll get him back.'

Quatre gave him a brief, grateful smile, not really believing his friend's kind words. He would certainly do everything he could to sort things out, but Trowa had been desperately hurt and might well decide he just didn't want anything more to do with him. 'I hope so.'

 

~ * ~

Chapter 32

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