"Wish Upon a Star "

Written By: Waterliliylf

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. All rights remain with Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. No profit being made here.

Rating: R

Warnings: sap, angst, fluff, AU

Pairings: 3x4

Summary: When you wish upon a star, it makes no difference who you are, unless you're the heir to the Winner business empire. So when you do find a means of escape, how long can you hold on to the fantasy, and the man of your dreams, before reality takes over?

"Wish Upon a Star "

Are We There Yet?

'Are we there yet?' Quatre panted, pausing to adjust the straps of his rucksack. He'd always thought of himself as being a fit person but that was before Trowa had taken him halfway up a mountain.

'Nearly.'

'You've been saying that for at least the last hour!'

Trowa grinned at him. 'Yeah, and it's more true every time I say it.'

'Huh. I think the top's getting farther away. I'm sure we were closer earlier.'

'It's just the way the path's twisting around through the trees. Now, come on. No slacking.'

'You're a total sadist,' Quatre grumbled, plopping down on a comfortable-looking rock and taking a gulp from his water bottle.

'That's me.' Trowa sat down beside him. 'Seriously, another mile or so of climbing, and then the path levels out 'til we get to the lake. We'll take it slowly.'

'A mile!' the blond intoned dramatically. 'I'll die! I can't believe how unfit I actually am. I swim every morning at home, and I play tennis a couple of times a week.'

'Different muscles. Here, this should give you an energy boost.' Trowa handed him a bar of chocolate. 'When we get the tent set up, I'll give you a whole other workout. If you're good, I might even let you lie down for some of it.'

Quatre jabbed his chest with one finger. 'You have a one track mind, Mr. Barton.'

'Yep,' Trowa agreed amiably. 'Bet you can't guess where it's going?'

'I'm fairly sure I can, actually.' Quatre stood up, stretching, and looking around. It was worth it; worth the sore muscles, and the blisters that were almost certainly forming on his heels from his new hiking boots, and the straps that were digging into his shoulders, just to be here with Trowa. 'You'll be lucky. If I ever get up there, I'll just want to collapse.'

'We can't have that.' One long arm snaked out and Quatre abruptly found himself in Trowa's lap. 'Sorry, Cat. I come up here a lot; I never even thought about how you weren't used to climbing. How about we take a rest here and eat before going on?'

'Can we? That would be wonderful.' Quatre bent to kiss him and then pulled back, crimson, as his stomach gave a demanding little gurgle. 'Oh, excuse me! I can't believe I'm hungry after that enormous lunch we had.'

'All the fresh air,' Trowa grinned at him, and then reached over for his pack. 'Yeah, we might as well eat now if you want. It's all cold stuff anyway; they don't allow campfires up here as there are some rare plants, and it wasn't worth bringing a camping stove for one night.'

'Definitely not!' Quatre's sore muscles gave a twinge at the idea of having to carry more stuff. Dinner was perfect anyway; cold chicken and ham and a pasta salad.

Unfortunately, climbing on a full stomach wasn't easy. Trowa took his hand for the last, steep climb. By then, Quatre was tired enough to accept the offer of help. As promised, the ground levelled off after that and the last stretch was a pleasant, easy walk on springy moorland, with heather stretching on either sides of the path.

'Now, how's this for the perfect place to spend the night?' Trowa asked.

'It's just beautiful!' Quatre breathed, magically reviving. 'Wow!' The sun was slowly starting to sink, painting banners of gold and indigo across the sky, and gilding the still waters of the small lake in front of them.

After they'd walked to the lake, and dabbled hands in the cool water, he even had enough energy to help Trowa set up the campsite,

'Father used to take me camping, sometimes, when I was little.' Quatre smiled at the memory, banging in the last tent-peg. 'He used to say we were roughing it in the wilderness, but really we brought servants and bodyguards and a chef. It was fun though. Heero and I go out on into the desert, sometimes, when I can get away for a day or so. He used to tell Iria we were going out to the Maguanac camp, but usually we went off by ourselves.'

Trowa grinned. 'I can't really see Heero as the rebellious type.'

'He has his moments.' Quatre tied back the tent flap with a neat bow and sat back on his heels, pleased with his handiwork. 'I'm so glad you two get on.'

Trowa nodded. 'He's a nice guy. He's got it bad for Duo, hasn't he?'

'Oh, yes. Although so does Zechs by the looks of things.'

'Maybe. I know he's your friend too, but he's a bit too much of a player for Duo, from what I've seen. He and Wufei used to be an item, did you know that?'

'No. He's never told me that. What happened?'

Trowa shrugged. 'It was years ago. They split up, not very amicably. Wufei's never talked about it.'

Quatre thought. 'Perhaps we could, I don't know, somehow get them back together? I've always had the impression that Zechs had been madly in love with someone, once, and that he's never really got over it.'

'I think you should concentrate on your own relationship and let them sort themselves out. They're all adults; they can look after themselves without us meddling.'

'I suppose.' Quatre shook out the two sleeping bags and arranged them cosily side by side in their little home, while Trowa arranged a blanket in front of the tent.

'Stop worrying about them.' Trowa patted the blanket beside him invitingly. 'Come and sit here. I might even let you watch the sunset before starting to ravish you.'

'Yes, please!' Quatre flopped down beside him, and immediately bounced back up. 'Trowa! It's really hard!'

His boyfriend smirked. 'Thanks, Cat. Every guy likes to hear that.'

'That wasn't what I meant, Mr Sex Maniac! It's the ground! It's like sitting on a rock! I'll never be able to sleep.'

Trowa pulled him down. 'You're hilarious, you know that? The ground's hard, the lakewater was cold, rain is wet…You've been camping before. How come you didn't know?'

Quatre pouted. It had been an exhausting day; he really wasn't in the mood for being laughed at. 'When I was with my father, the servants used to set up tents with proper beds! Heero used to bring inflatable mattresses. And how was I supposed to know what rain was like? I'd never felt it before! I'm sure there are lots of things you don't know about the Colonies, but I don't tease you!'

'Hey, Cat. Quatre. I was joking.' Trowa wound both arms around his neck. 'I'm sorry, OK? You can sleep on me if you like. How about that?'

'Oh,' Quatre sank into the lush kiss, anger evaporating instantly. 'I could, couldn't I?'

'Sure you could.'

'OK, then.' Because he was still smarting, very slightly, from the teasing, Quatre's lips curved into a grin against Trowa's, and he aimed one hand at the ticklish spot on his boyfriend's left hip. As he'd guessed, Trowa immediately fell backwards, laughing. He recovered fast, though, long fingers jabbing between Quatre's ribs and then just lay back, green eyes boring into blue.

'So…you going to sleep on top of me now?' It was very, very obvious that sleep was the last thing on his mind.

'Here?' Quatre paused. 'Trowa, I don't know…what if someone comes?'

Trowa laughed. 'I promise someone will very definitely come. Two someones. You don't need to worry about anyone else. The path we came is the only way up here; we'd see anyone else for miles around. You know, this will probably work way better if we're both naked.'

'I suppose.' It was ridiculous, but he was still a tiny bit shy, stripping off. 'I hope you didn't forget the lube this time. Or you'll have an awfully long walk back to the car.'

Trowa dug in his rucksack and produced a large tube. 'I didn't forget it that time. I didn't want to be too forward. Of course, that was before I knew how demanding you are in bed.'

'You can't talk!' Quatre shot back. 'You never think of anything but sex.'

'I do too! I think about food, and hot blond guys, and the things I want to do to a certain blond guy, and oh, I guess you're right. Fancy that!' He reached up one hand and caressed Quatre's face gently. 'Right now, there's something I'd really like you to do to me. Will you?'

'Are you sure?'

'Cat, I'm naked with my legs spread, you're sitting on top of me, I'm waving the world's largest tube of lubricant in your face and I'm about to spontaneously combust if you don't do something. What part of yes do you not understand?'

'I understand,' Quatre said, very softly.

Trowa squirmed at the first touch of Quatre's fingers, and then relaxed into the gentle touch.

'Oh, that feels good. Cat, just take it slowly, OK? It's a while since I've done this.'

'I'll take it slowly, very slowly,' Quatre promised. He did. He knew Trowa well enough now to respond to most of his signals; the way his breath hitched or the sudden quickening of the pulse in his throat or that sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of his heart.

'Wow,' Trowa whispered. 'You're good at this.' His eyes were closed, but his mouth had relaxed into a smile, and he sounded creamily content.

'It gets better, I hope. Ready?' At Trowa's quick nod, he bent down and kissed him, tongue arching between Trowa's lips as he eased himself carefully into Trowa's body.

And like that, it miraculously got even better.

There were things he hadn't known about Trowa. How the so-tight embrace of his body would feel. That he apparently liked to be dominated, a little. The way his breath came in short, harsh pants when Quatre started to move in him. That glorious, glowing smile, when they climaxed, within a heartbeat of each other.

'Wow again,' he said finally, soft as breath, when Quatre rolled off him, cuddling close. 'We are so doing that again soon.'

'Oh, yes,' Quatre agreed emphatically, dropping his head to tease one of Trowa's nipples with lips and tongue and the tiniest scrape of teeth.

The day was slowly dying, the last golden remains of sunlight provided just enough illumination to look at his lover. Trowa was pure perfection; pale skin stretched over lean muscle with a scattering of golden here and there. Quatre's mouth moved languorously over him, kissing every freckle, and the tiny scar on Trowa's left arm from having a mole removed, and sliding his tongue into the little indentation of his navel. There was a mark on his right hip that he hadn't noticed before; a long seam where flesh had been joined to flesh.

'How did you get this?'

'Knife,' Trowa said briefly.

Quatre frowned, looking at him. 'I don't understand. How could you cut yourself there by accident?'

'Not an accident, Cat. In a fight.'

'Oh.' That sent his thoughts whirling back to the night they'd met. To the light from a streetlamp glittering off the blade in Trowa's hands. Blood in a puddle on the ground. The smell of stale beer, and the earth-shattering fact that someone had deliberately struck him and planned to do more.

He felt, suddenly, sick.

'Hey.' Trowa was there, suddenly, arms wrapped around him. Trowa, after all, was the one who'd saved him. 'It was a long time ago, Cat. Years.'

'What happened?'

Trowa hunched one shoulder. 'I was a bit of a tearaway when I was a teenager. After my parents died, Cathy and I came to live here. I told you that, right? Cathy fit in right away. She loved staying in one place, going to school every day. The routine. I guess she needed that sort of stability. I hated it. Hated it.'

Quatre wrapped his fingers around the hand clenched in Trowa's lap and got a very faint smile in return.

'I got in with this gang. The Mercenaries, they called themselves. Just some punk kids who thought they didn't fit in either.'

'A gang? Really?' Quatre breathed.

'Nothing serious. Honest. A bit of shoplifting. Joyriding. The sort of stuff bored kids do. Had a few fights with guys from other parts of town. Smoked some pot, that sort of thing.'

That jerked Quatre upright. 'You did drugs?'

'A couple of times,' Trowa said defensively. 'Cat, chill. I smoked a few joints. It's not like I was mainlining heroin.'

'Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to sound judgemental. It's just anything like that gets the death penalty on L4.'

'Well, it's been years since I did anything like that. It was a bit of a lark, you know. Growing up at the circus, most people didn't pay that much attention to rules and regulations. And we were always on the move anyway; seeing new places, new performers coming and going. It was so damn dull staying in one place all the time. I guess stealing cars and CDS was one way to relieve the monotony. So were fights with other gangs.' He touched the scar on his hip with one finger.

'I imagine they would be, yes,' Quatre said dryly.

'Hey, I grew up, I promise.' Trowa hugged him. 'I got a serious wake up call when I was sixteen or so. I'd kind of been seeing one of the guys in the gang. Kurt. He was the first guy I'd ever been with. He and some of the others took a car out one night; we used to steal sports cars and race them. I wasn't there; I forget why. They had a crash; a couple of them walked away but Kurt was killed.'

'Oh, Trowa!' Quatre snuggled into him, flinching at the raw pain in Trowa's voice. 'I'm so sorry. That's awful.'

'Yeah. Anyway, that's my dark past, such as it is. Sure you want to be with someone like me?'

Of course I am! Always. You were so young and you must have been missing your parents dreadfully. Your whole life changed!''

'Thanks. Well, I started to pull my act together a bit after that. Met Wufei and actually started to do schoolwork.' He grinned. 'What about you? Ever do anything like that?'

'Gosh, no.' Quatre thought about it. 'I did once steal a spoonful of cooking sherry from our kitchen.' He grimaced. 'It was disgusting! I didn't touch alcohol for years after that, I was so sick.'

'God, you're cute,' Trowa smiled at him. 'So what was growing up like for you? Were you happy as a kid?'

'Sometimes, yes. I suppose I wasn't desperately unhappy, if that makes sense. I went to school; I had private tutors at the weekend. I loved music and riding and reading. I didn't have a lot of friends, really. Father didn't like me going to other people's houses or to the cinema or anything like that. Too much of a security risk.'

'You seem to have a fair bit of freedom now, don't you?' Trowa commented. 'I mean, they let you come off with me into the wilderness.'

'It's a bit different now.' Quatre shifted slightly, tucking his head under Trowa's chin. 'When I was very young, I was the only possible heir to WEI. Now, most of my sisters are married with children so I have nephews. I'm not expendable any more.'

'You are to me.'

'That's a lovely thing to say.' Quatre turned, winding his arms around Trowa's neck.

'It's true. You didn't mind, not being the Chosen One any more?'

'Oh, no! It was marvellous! I mean, Father and Iria made me take Rashid or Auda with me if I went out; well, they still do, half the time, but at least I could go out and do things. I'd never have been able to go to Canada if I'd been the only possible one in the line of succession.'

Trowa shook his head. 'It's almost like you're royalty or something, sometimes, the way you talk.' He leaned down and tucked the blanket around them both. 'It's starting to get chilly now. We should probably move into the tent.'

'Not yet, please,' Quatre begged. It was so beautiful; the first stars were starting to appear against the indigo sky, and there were bats flitting about. 'I'm not that cold.'

'I'll keep you warm,' Trowa promised. 'Can I ask you something, Cat?' He was obviously trying to sound offhand, but not quite making it. 'After the way you grew up, are you sure you'll be happy living over a shop in a backstreet?'

'Positive that I'll be totally ecstatic!' Quatre said firmly. 'Once you're there with me. Honestly, Trowa. You've no idea how happy I've been since we met. I've never felt like this, ever.'

'Never?' Trowa kissed his forehead gently.

'Never ever! I thought I loved Jordan, but it was never anything like this.'

'Tell me about him?' Trowa invited. 'You seriously haven't spoken to him since all this started?'

'Oh, no. Our lawyers said it was best not to.'

Trowa grunted. 'Hmm. If I were you, I'd do the opposite of whatever my lawyer said.'

'Well, maybe. I don't know. I thought we were friends, still. It just really hurts, that he's doing something like this.'

'Yeah. I can imagine.' He bent to give Quatre a sweet kiss on the mouth. 'It won't be the end of the world, Cat, if he does end up going to the papers or whatever he's threatening to do. You said the parliament on L4 is voting on legalising homosexuality. .I looked that up on line yesterday; it's almost certain to pass. That would make our lives a hell of a lot easier, if you didn't have a jail sentence or whatever hovering over you. And it'd be illegal for your board members to discriminate against you.'

'Maybe.' Quatre wasn't terribly convinced. Attitudes on L4 wouldn't change magically just because some law had been passed. 'I hate the idea of the whole universe knowing my private life. Our private lives, really. I just don't see why it's anyone else's business who I fall in love with.'

'It's mine, I hope.'

'Well, duh.' Quatre tried to mimic Duo's accent and made them both laugh. 'All right, yours and mine. No one else's. Can I ask you something now? Why do you hate lawyers so much?'

'Oh, God,' Trowa muttered bitterly. 'My big failed love affair. Yeah, OK. He was called Treize, he was a lawyer. I think I told you that. I met him in this fancy club, Not my kind of place; Wufei'd got us tickets from a friend of his. We got chatting at the bar; he asked me to dance, took me home after. He was older than us; really classy, you know. The sort of guy you dream about. I guess we were together for about a year. I was in my last year at uni, and he used to do these amazing things for me. He'd buy me first editions of the books I was studying, take me to the theatre. It was perfect.'

'What happened?'

'He met somebody else.' Trowa shrugged. 'It wasn't even that simple. He met a girl, got engaged to her. He didn't even bother to tell me; I just happened to see the engagement notice. He couldn't work out why it upset me. As far as he was concerned, he had to have kids to carry on his name, and there was no reason why it would interfere with us.'

'That's so terrible!' Quatre buried his face in the curve of Trowa's shoulder, feeling a twinge of guilt. But it wasn't the same thing, really. He and Relena had never been officially engaged, and it was all over anyway.

'It was…moderately pissy, yeah. Cat, it was years ago. I'm over it now.'

'But you haven't really been serious with anyone since then?'

Another shrug. 'It's not like there haven't been other guys. They just never lasted very long. Not 'til I met this dreamy blond guy who's had me wrapped around his little finger since the minute I saw him?'

'Have I really?' Quatre asked delightedly.

'Jesus, do you have to ask? Of course you do!'

'Since we're doing the whole confessions things, can I ask you something else? That guy, Jordan, was he your first?'

'Oh, no.' From the look on Trowa's face, that was something of a surprise. 'It's not….easy to be gay on L4, Trowa. But people are. There are places you can go. They call them bath-houses or massage parlours or things like that, but they're not really.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't see you doing something like that.'

Quatre sighed miserably. 'It's amazing what you do when you're lonely enough. When you just want to stop pretending for an hour or so.

'Cat, I wasn't criticising you. God, I couldn't. It's not like I haven't brought random guys home from clubs.'

'It's different,' Quatre whispered. 'I'm sure you at least knew their names. Danced with them a few times, had a drink and talked a little bit. For me, it was just a quick fuck in a dark corner. A kiss or two if you were lucky. It wasn't safe, usually, to give your name, in case someone found out.' He wrinkled his nose, remembering.

Male forms indistinctly seen through the steam in a sauna or steam room. A hand extended in invitation, or given in acceptance. Those tiny dark cubicles, smelling of sweat and sex. That quick surge of completion, with maybe a brief word of thanks or appreciation. Guilt and shame and terror that, this time, someone might find out.

Walking back to the car and not daring to meet the driver's eyes because of course he knew perfectly what had just happened.

Resolving never again, and knowing deep down that he would, because there was nothing else.

'It was horribly sordid, really. Nothing like us.'

'Good.' Trowa was suddenly wound around him. 'You'll never have to do anything like that again. Ever.'

'Thank you.' He was shaking, even with Trowa's warmth and closeness. 'God, I love you. If I hadn't met you, I don't know what I would have done.'

'Stop that!' Trowa admonished firmly. 'Just stop, Cat. You were always going to meet me at some point. Always. We were meant to be together. And I love you too. More than anything.' He stood up, with Quatre still wrapped around him. 'Come on. You're shivering. Let's get you inside and warm you up.' He kissed Quatre's eyelids, tongue sneaking out to lap up the tears. 'Stop crying, love. I've got you.'

Just the two of them in the whole universe.

'This is amazing.'

Trowa grinned. 'Well, your idea for a trip was nice too. That villa in the Bahamas.'

'I'd like that so much. Duo won't mind taking care of the shop, will he?'

'He'll be fine.' Trowa fed some more twigs into the fire. 'It sounds great. I've never been anywhere like that.

 

~ * ~

Chapter 29

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