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"Wish Upon a Star "Written By: Waterliliylf Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. All rights
remain with Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. No profit being
made here. Rating: R Warnings: sap, angst, fluff, AU Pairings: 3x4 Summary: When you wish upon a star, it makes no
difference who you are, unless you're the heir to the Winner business
empire. So when you do find a means of escape, how long can you hold
on to the fantasy, and the man of your dreams, before reality takes
over? "Wish Upon a Star " Honesty: Quatre was stacking shelves in Wish when Zechs' car pulled up outside and Duo got out. They'd spent the night together then. He felt a quick pang for Heero, who'd taken such a liking to Trowa's friend, and then smiled as Duo entered. 'Hi, Cat. Sorry I'm late. Where's Tro? I didn't see his car outside.' 'He's taken Ellie home. She was rather sick last night, and she wanted to be with her mother.' 'Aw, poor little thing.' He took a stack of books from Quatre, scanning the titles quickly, as Quatre tried to work out if he looked like someone who'd spent the night having sex with a tall, very attractive prince. He looked pretty much as usual, though. 'You and Tro are off to Prospect Point, right? You'll love it there. It's beautiful. The perfect place to spend a bit of downtime with your partner. Lots of peace and quiet if there's anything you want to talk to him about.' 'Yes, it sounds lovely.' Quatre, on his knees and hands full of children's picture books, could almost feel his heart racing. His family had a history of heart disease; all of this deception couldn't be doing him any good. 'So when exactly are you planning to tell him?' Quatre carefully aligned his pile of books at precise right angles. 'I'm sorry. Tell who what?' 'Cat.' Duo said it very seriously. 'Or, no, it's Quatre right? When are you going to tell Tro who you actually are?' 'I have no idea what you're talking about.' It was a desperate, last-ditch attempt to win a moment's time. Duo, somehow, knew. Not all that big of a shock; he'd been almost certain the previous night that Duo knew something, but he hadn't blurted it so maybe he didn't, maybe he'd just been teasing, maybe he knew but wouldn't say anything. 'Cut the bullshit, OK?' 'OK.' Quatre took a deep breath. 'Please don't tell anyone, Duo. Please. I promise; I'm going to talk to Trowa today. I – I would really like to be the person who tells him.' His new friend – who was possibly no longer a friend anymore – gave him a little nod. 'Fair enough. But he needs to know, Cat. Seriously.' 'How did you guess?' Duo shrugged. 'A few little things. I guess I knew some stuff that Tro didn't. We have this friend, Wufei, who's a journalist. I met him the other night, and he was talking about this story he's working on, how this guy who's the heir to Winner Enterprises has gone AWOL.' 'What?' Quatre gasped. 'A journalist! Oh, my god! What did you tell him?' 'Calm down!' Duo snapped. 'Cat, chill. I didn't tell him anything. I wouldn't do anything like that. You really think I'd do something like that? I thought we were friends.' 'I'm sorry,' Quatre said miserably. 'I really am. I'm just – not very used to having friends who don't want me for something.' 'That's all right. Anyway, I didn't really know who you were. I just knew you were this rich guy from L4.' 'How did you know I was rich? I never said anything!' Duo rolled his eyes eloquently. 'Let's see. You were staying in the most expensive hotel in Sanque, every stitch you own is by some classy designer, you think working in this shop's the best fun you've ever had. No offence, but it's obvious. Anyway, I kind of put two and two together. You know, every time I mentioned your name to Zechs he couldn't change the subject fast enough. I couldn't work out why your friend never wanted to talk about you, so I guessed there was something fishy going on. Now, you tell me, why haven't you told Tro?' 'I meant to tell him the first day,' Quatre said quietly. 'And then I realised what a problem he has with my family; how awful he thinks we are.' 'Cat, Tro's not a fool. He's not going to blame you for what your family does.' 'Well, maybe he should. I've never once tried to interfere with any of Iria's – my sister's decisions. I've just gone along with everything because I'm not very good at confronting people and it was easier just to accept whatever she did. It wasn't until Trowa actually brought me to see the forest that I realised what we were doing to this country and I stood up to her.' 'That thing with Nova being declared a heritage site? That was you? Well, there you go! He's probably so grateful that he won't care what your surname is.' 'No, he isn't. He thinks it's just some publicity stunt, that Iria planned the whole thing so she could come in at the last minute and make a grand gesture.' Duo burst out laughing. 'That sounds like him, yeah. The guy's such a goddamn conspiracy theorist.' 'It isn't funny! He utterly despises my family; he'll probably never want to see me again once he finds out who I really am.' 'Look, you don't know Tro like I do so you can take some of that anti-capitalist ranting he does with a pinch of salt, OK? Yeah, he has some issues with your lot, but he knows that in the long run it's probably the best thing for Sanque to go ahead with this deal.' 'You don't mind who I am, do you?' Quatre gazed pleadingly at his new friend. 'Nope,' Duo looked down at him and then bent and gave him a quick, firm hug. 'Stop looking like that; I feel like I'm stamping on kittens or something. Tro's lucky; he's always been able to afford to have principles. Yeah, maybe your family's a bit heavy-handed, but L4's got the best standard of living in the universe. If you grow up in a place that's not so well off, that sort of stuff counts.' 'I hope you're right,' Quatre sighed. 'I hope Trowa sees things that way.' 'Can I give you some advice? The thing that's going to piss him off big time isn't who you are - it's that you've been lying to him.' 'I know. I know.' Quatre looked down at his hands. They weren't so perfectly smooth and manicured as they'd been a week ago. He'd torn a couple of nails from opening cartons, and there was a small blister on one finger. "I honestly never meant it to be like this. It just…oh, I do know how ridiculous this sounds, it just happened. And then it was like I'd fallen into my own private fantasy.' 'This is your fantasy?' Duo cocked an eyebrow at him, gesturing around the shop. Quatre gave him a straight look. 'Yes, actually. It is. Duo, for the first time in my entire life, people have been looking at me and seeing me; not my father's son, or the heir to WEI, or a walking credit card. I've made friends who like me, not because of who I am, or even despite, but because they like me. You have no idea how amazing that is.' 'I sorta do,' Duo said quietly. 'See, Cat, before I met Trowa, I was this scruffy kid who lived on the streets. I did stuff I don't like thinking about, and when people looked at me, they just saw this dirty, smelly kid who'd probably pick their pockets or proposition them if they got too close to me. I'll never forget the first time I met Tro, ever, 'cause he actually came over and spoke to me like I was a regular person who just happened to be drawing for fun outside his place. He's an amazing guy, you know.' 'I know.' Quatre swallowed. 'He is going to take it very badly that I haven't been honest, isn't he?' 'Yep. From what I gather, he's only been in love once before and the guy totally played him for a fool, fed him all sorts of crap and Tro fell for it. Honesty is like the most important thing for him. But he is totally crazy about you. Just tell him all the stuff you told me and tell him you'll be his sex slave for the rest of your natural life and he'll probably forgive you after he's ranted for a bit.' 'Oh, God, I hope so,' Quatre said fervently. 'I don't know what I'd do otherwise. I can't imagine not being with him. I – I really love him, Duo.' Duo's face was suddenly one broad grin. 'That's kind of obvious. And, Cat. You know you said you were used to people only wanting to be friends with you for what they'd get out of it? Well, I lied when I said I didn't want anything from you.' 'What do you want?' Quatre forced himself to meet those incredible indigo eyes and saw only laughter. 'I want you to make my best friend happy. OK? And I want you to stay around 'cause I like you too.' He laughed, staggering backwards as Quatre suddenly hurled himself on top of him, and gave the blond a quick kiss on the cheek. 'We'd better not do this when Heero or Trowa are around.' 'Agreed.' Quatre found he was smiling too, even if he did have to dash one hand across his eyes. ''Kay. Listen, don't sweat this too much. He's crazy about you. It'll work out.' Quatre hoped so, more than he could ever remember wanting anything. The drive along the coast was spectacular, but he was too nervous to enjoy much of it. Trowa wasn't in a talkative mood either, switching on the radio as soon as they started off. Quatre put up with it for almost an hour and then ventured to ask if something was wrong. Oh, God. Maybe he'd found out from someone else. 'Sorry, Cat.' Trowa took one hand off the wheel to squeeze Quatre's leg. 'This is a lousy start to our trip. I'm just pissed off with Cathy. She took this morning off school to be with Ellie but she's got some big staff meeting this afternoon, so she called Rob – that's Ellie's dad – to watch her for a couple of hours after lunch. I really hate that guy being around, especially in their house.' 'But…we could have minded her, couldn't we? We could have delayed the trip.' Trowa swung the car abruptly to the side of the road. 'OK, I have just got to kiss you for that.' He did. 'You're totally amazing, you know that? I would've offered, but Ellie heard Rob's name and got all excited.' He took a deep breath. 'Anyway, never mind. This is supposed to be our little getaway. I promise, I'll stop brooding right now.' 'That's all right.' Quatre looked out the window; a winding path curled through flowering bushes to a deserted, rocky beach. He'd meant to wait until they arrived at their destination, but he'd been putting it off and putting it off. 'Trowa, would you mind if we got out and went for a walk?' 'Sounds good. We're not in any hurry.' Quatre waited until they'd almost reached the water, relishing the walk. Trowa was holding one of his hands and they'd paused once or twice to kiss. 'Trowa, there's something I have to tell you.' 'Mmm. Really?' Trowa grinned at him. 'Just a minute.' He bent his mouth to brush against the blond's. 'Maybe two minutes. Maybe you could just tell me later.' 'It's important. Please.' 'Fine. Say it. But I'm warning you; if it's anything to do with you changing your mind either about being gay or about sleeping with me, I'll spend the rest of the night trying to convince you otherwise.' 'It's nothing like that.' Quatre hesitated; there was, really, no easy way to say this. 'It's about my name.' 'Your name? What, you're not really called Quatre?' 'I am, yes.' He took a deep breath, holding it, and took Trowa's hands in his. There was no easy way to do this, really. 'Please don't be angry; but I haven't been totally honest about who I am. My real name is Quatre Raberba Winner.' 'Winner? I don't get you.' Trowa looked blank for a second, then his brows contracted slightly as he thought about it. 'What, you're some long lost cousin of that Iria woman?' 'I'm her younger brother.' He couldn't, to save his life, bring himself to look at Trowa in that one moment. 'I'm the only son, Trowa. I'm supposed to be taking over as CEO of Winner Enterprises in a couple of months.' 'So this has all been a lie,' Trowa said slowly. 'Everything you've told me about yourself. What the fuck, Cat? Quatre.' 'It's not like that,' Quatre whispered. 'Truly, it's not. Everything I've told you about myself has been true. Everything. I just – left out a few things.' 'A few things?' Trowa's voice dripped acid sarcasm. 'Like the fact that your family practically runs an entire colony? Like the fact that they're helping themselves to my country? You didn't think that I needed to know any of that?' He jerked himself away from the light clasp of Quatre's hands. 'Please, tell me this is some kind of sick joke. Please.' 'I wish I could. I really do. But it's not. Trowa, please, can you just listen to me? I – I can try to explain.' 'I don't want to hear it.' He turned on his heel, and took a few steps away, then whirled back. 'What the hell was all this about? Was it some sort of game for you? Is this how you get your kicks, Winner?' 'No.' It emerged as a sob; Quatre took two quick paces forward, almost close enough to touch him. He didn't though. 'Please, Trowa. I know what all this seems like, but please, give me two minutes to explain.' 'You've had plenty of time to do that, over the past few days. Why don't you save your explanations for someone who gives a shit? Because I sure don't.' 'All I am asking is for a chance to make this right. I swear, everything I've told you about how I feel is true. I love you. More than anything.' 'You'll forgive me if I don't exactly believe anything you say.' 'It's the truth. I know I haven't told you things, important things, but whatever I have said, it's the truth. Especially about you. Us.' 'There isn't any us,' Trowa snapped, and then glared at the blond, standing squarely in the middle of the narrow path. 'Quatre, get out of the way.' Quatre shook his head. 'No. If you want to knock me down, fine. Go ahead. But if you don't, you'll have to listen to me. Yes, I was stupid and I don't blame you being furious with me, not at all, but I do love you, and nothing is going to change that. Even if you walk away from me now, you're still the only person I've loved. And I actually thought you felt the same way about me.' 'Then, you were wrong, weren't you? I fell for a really sweet guy called Cat. But he doesn't exist.' 'I thought that too, actually,' Quatre said slowly. 'I thought at first that I was just pretending to be someone I wasn't, someone whom people liked, someone whom I liked. And I don't like Quatre Raberba Winner very much. He's a wimp, pretty much, and he's obsessed with work, and with pleasing people, and with trying to avoid any sort of confrontations because he's scared of that sort of thing. Then I started to realise that I'd spent my whole life trying to be the person my family wanted me to be, to be Quatre, but that maybe all along I'd been Cat and I just hadn't known it. And I think Cat's a pretty nice person; he's a good friend, and he's brave enough to stand up for his principles, and he loves his boyfriend more than anything in the world and it's been tearing him up that I've been lying to you all along, but I thought if you knew who I was, you wouldn't want me.' 'You've got that right,' Trowa hissed. 'Why the fuck weren't you honest from the start?' 'The first night I met you, in the club, what would you have done if I'd told you who I was? One of the Winners whom you hate so much? You probably wouldn't have given me the time of day. You know, you wouldn't. You've just admitted it. And I didn't want to be me, that night. I wanted to be a person who could just go out to a bar, and maybe meet someone to dance and talk with, and not have to check with my assistants first that my diary was free, and ask my bodyguards to be discreet and ask my chauffeur not to park directly outside so people wouldn't see me arrive in a limousine.' 'Poor little rich boy,' Trowa mocked. 'Actually, yes,' Quatre said coolly. 'That's right. You don't know what my life is like, Trowa. Was like, until I met you. I was miserable and lonely and I couldn't see any way out. I told you, the first time we met, that I'd…well, that I'd actually thought about just letting myself fall of a balcony. It wasn't the first time I'd thought about something like that.' 'I don't get how you can talk like that. Fuck, Quatre. You have everything most people would ever dream of.' 'Then they're idiots. Idiots plagued by nightmares,' Quatre said around the bitter taste in his mouth. 'I have nothing that anyone could ever want. A few days ago, I tried to remember when I'd last spent time with my best friend, my only friend, really, and I couldn't. I can't do anything unless I check with my family and my board and my assistants. Every minute of every day is planned out for me; what I wear, what's served for my meals. Everything. I'm truly sorry I didn't just tell you he first night, but everything I told you about how I was looking for an escape, that night, that was all true. I'd just had a huge argument with Iria; I needed to get away so badly. You have no idea. And people treat me differently when they know who I am. They hear my last name, and never look past that.' 'You thought I'd be like that?' Quatre took a deep breath. 'I didn't know, Trowa. Not at the start. I've had twenty three years of being Quatre Raberba Winner, and in that time I can count, on the fingers of one hand, the number of people who respond to me and not to my surname. I think I was five years old when I realised that. There were children at my school who wouldn't talk to me because WEI had put their parents' companies out of business, and there were others who invited me to parties because their parents made them. The only other person I've ever had a relationship with is blackmailing me because of who I am. I find it hard to trust people because that's what I've had to learn. After I got to know you a little, I was sure you wouldn't be like that.' 'So why didn't you tell me the truth sooner?' 'I wanted to. I started to, a couple of times. The first time was when we went to the forest, but you had so many problems with what my family was doing, I didn't dare. And I tried to, on Wednesday but Ellie came in, and then…I'm a coward, really. I wanted you to know about me, but I was scared. I thought, maybe, if we knew each other better, you'd get to like me, and you'd understand a little bit about me, and why I was doing this. Trowa, I swear, I never meant to deceive you. It just…. happened.' Trowa granted him a brief nod; just the faintest downward jerk of his chin, but it made his heart soar. 'The past few days with you, it's been probably the closest thing I've ever had to a normal life. To have friends, and run to the shop and buy a newspaper.' He laughed shortly. 'I've never done that before. Do you know, my butler at home actually irons the papers in the morning, so I won't have to read them creased? It's ridiculous. This week..I don't think I've ever been happier.' 'Right, I get it now.' Trowa turned away, gazing out to sea. 'You wanted to live out a little fantasy of a normal life, before you get back to your world. Should I be flattered, that you chose me to be a part of it? Or was I even a part of the equation at all? How did I fit into your fantasy?' 'Trowa,' Quatre swallowed, and then darted forward, sliding both arms about Trowa's waist. The other man didn't push him away, just stood there. 'You were the equation. You are. You're the only thing that counts. Everything else – the shop and your family and your friends – it's all your world. But you're the important one.' 'No, Cat.' Trowa pushed his arms away, very gently. 'That's not how it works. You've been lying to me since we first met. I didn't ever know your real name. If you love someone, you don't set out to deceive them.' 'I didn't,' Quatre said shakily. 'It all just happened. At first, you were just someone I met in a club. And then you saved me, and insisted on taking me home. Yes, I should have told you then. I do know that. But I was in shock, and I wasn't really thinking straight, and I liked you so much, I just didn't think it mattered. I didn't think I'd ever see you again.' He shrugged; a gesture he'd picked up from Duo. Iria wouldn't approve of that. 'And then it all just…snowballed, somehow. I kept waiting for the perfect moment to tell you, but I was scared of what you'd say, and I kept finding excuses and I know it was wrong but, like I said, I'm a total and utter coward.' 'Yeah, well, I guess I didn't make it easy for you, did I? Saying that the Winners were pretty much the manifestation of evil?' Quatre pinned on a wobbly little smile. 'I don't blame you. Trowa, I was so terrified of losing you. I haven't, have I? Please say you'll consider giving me another chance. ' 'Look,' Trowa took a couple of steps away from him, closer to the water. 'There's no point. You said it yourself; this isn't your world. And in your world, we can't be together. Ever. Shit, it was hard enough when you were just from some traditional family on L4, but you're a Winner. You know it's hopeless, so there's no point in asking me for chances. Is there?' 'Yes.' Amazingly, he wasn't immediately struck down by lightning. Trowa's eyes, the colour of the deepest seawater in shadow, widened. 'What? You're planning to give up your family, your fortune, just for me?' 'Yes. In an instant, if it was that easy. I'd give up anything to be with you. But it's…complicated. One of WEI's strengths is that it's a family firm; we do have shareholders, but my family owns the majority of shares between us. For centuries, the oldest son has become CEO. I know it seems archaic and unfair and it is, but it does mean that there's never been any sort of dissension. Everyone knows who's going to be in charge at any given time. If I just – resign, there will be chaos. My sister, Iria, deserves to be in charge, but my other sisters and their husbands would never stand for that. And most of our board members are awfully conservative; they'll hate the idea of WEI being controlled by a woman.' 'So what are you going to do?' 'I don't know. Not yet. But I am going to think of something. I swear, I would give up WEI in a heartbeat, but I don't want the company to fall apart, and that could easily happen. L4 depends on Winner Enterprises, and I can't just run away from that. Trowa, if – if I can find a way to be with you, would you be interested? Even after all of this? Because I can't lose you.' 'How likely is it that you will be able to find a way out of this mess?' 'I will.' Quatre gazed into those green depths. 'Somehow. I had a long conversation with my father yesterday. He's agreed to let me spend the next two years in Sanque, running WEI here. It means we can be together, if you like, once we're discreet about it. And two years is a long time; I'm sure we can figure something out after that.' 'Cat.' He was suddenly wrapped in those strong arms. 'I can't let you do this. Not for me. Come on, you've known me less than a week. Are you really prepared to give up your inheritance and your family and your home for me?' 'Of course I am.' 'And if I told you I don't want you, what would you do?' Quatre closed his eyes briefly, against the pain of hearing it. 'If you don't want me, what I do doesn't matter. Nothing matters. If I can't be with you, I won't be happy anyway, whatever I do. Do you….really not want me?' Trowa didn't answer in words. He just kissed him.
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