"Firsts"

Written By: Waterlilylf

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. All rights remain with Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. No profit being made here.

Rating: R

Warnings: Yaoi, Post Cannon, sap, angst

Pairings: 3x2

Summary: How do you get past losing the love of your life, the person you fell in love with when you were just fifteen? Trowa desperately needs someone special in his life, even if he hasn't quite realised it yet..

"Firsts"

 

Chapter 6 - Fleas and Mirrors:

Duo insists on going back to Wufei's on Sunday night, saying he needs fresh clothes and a shower where he actually gets to wash, and a proper night's sleep before facing a week of workdays. Trowa does his very best to convince him to stay anyway; he all but succeeds until Duo suddenly remembers that Zechs has flown Wufei to Paris for a few days, and he needs to go back and feed 'Fei's fish and water the plants. Still, it takes three attempts to get as far as his jeep, and then there's an interlude with the gear-stick digging into Trowa's left thigh. He doesn't notice at the time, but he sees the bruises later and works out where they've come from.

Trowa watches him drive off, and finds the lighthouse strangely empty without him.

They eat take-out sushi for lunch on Monday in Duo's office, Duo in an open-necked shirt that shows off the scattering of marks on the pale skin of his throat. Impossible for Trowa not to stare; to remember Duo under him, the sounds he'd made.

'So,' Duo says, with one of those innocent little smiles on his face, one hand toying idly with his collar, and the other sneakily reaching for the last piece of salmon, 'I was talking to this guy from NARC in the elevator. Mike Kelly, you know him?'

Trowa shakes his head. Duo knows everyone, or seemed to; Trowa knows people he has to work with.

'Right, well, he's been seconded to some big case in Costa Rica for two months, leaving ASAP, and he's trying to find someone to rent his apartment while he's gone. He gave me a spare set of keys; I said I'd go and check it out after work.'

'That's good.' He genuinely tries to sound enthusiastic; they hadn't made any plans or anything, but he'd sort of assumed, after the weekend, that there would be more of the same to come. ASAP, preferably. Still, Duo does need a place to live; that has to be a priority. 'Want to do something after?'

'Sorry, Tro.' Duo shakes his head, looking like he genuinely is sorry. 'I've got a flight to Luxembourg first thing in the morning. There's this case I'm testifying in, and I've got to read over the case notes and shit. Should've done it yesterday, but well, you know. I was kind of otherwise occupied.'

'I know,' Trowa grins at him. 'I was there, remember?'

'Remembering you being there every time I sit down,' Duo mutters, changing position slightly in his chair. 'And you might want to stop damn smirking like that if you ever want to get near my ass again.'

'Got it,' Trowa carefully wipes his face free of any expression and Duo laughs. 'Want me to buy you a cushion?'

'Oh, fuck off, Barton.' He's grinning though, that wide, toothy grin that almost splits his face in half.

Trowa reaches out and snags a piece of eel, touching Duo's wrist lightly in the process. He pops the morsel into his mouth, and stretches his hand out again. 'What's the Luxembourg case about?'

Just like that, Duo's smile vanishes. 'It's shit, Tro. Seriously. There was this agent, one of those guys who do PR and community relations and all that. You know, going to schools and shelters and youth clubs, giving talks on personal safety. Except he was taking some of these kids aside for little chats and fucking assaulting them.'

'Oh, hell' He's been stroking Duo's wrist lightly; he curls his fingers around it. Duo doesn't look up from his plate, but he doesn't move his hand away either. 'How many?'

'Eight we know of.' He shrugs. 'You know what the stats are like on how many rapes go unreported. Could be dozens more. One eleven-year-old hanged himself after; left a note on his computer. I hate this shit, you know? Stuff with kids. Anyway, the guy was here for three months, last year. I did some background checking on him; I don't really need to be in court, I could just've sent the info to the Luxembourg office, but I kind of want to be there.'

'I get it. What time do you get back tomorrow? You could come over if you wanted.'

'Last flight, probably and thanks but no thanks. Don't think I'll be in the mood.'

'I know that. I just thought you'd fancy some company.' It's awful, imaging Duo going back to Wufei's empty apartment, feeling the way he undoubtedly will. Everyone knows he hates cases with kids getting hurt. 'Come on, Duo. Tell you what; I'll pick you up at the airport, take you back to my place, make you dinner. OK?'

Duo does look up at that, expression cold. 'Yeah, Tro, nice seduction scene but like I said, I won't really be up for one of those marathon shagging sessions of yours.'

'That wasn't what I meant,' Trowa hisses, tightening his fingers around Duo's wrist when he tried to pull away. 'I wasn't even thinking about it. God, Duo. We've been talking about kids getting raped and you think - what? That I got so turned on that I straightaway think of screwing you? Seriously?'

'No! I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry.'

'Good,' Trowa says tightly, and then looks at Duo's expression and forgets to be angry. Shit. 'You're just going to have a hellish day tomorrow, and I thought you might like to at least have someone around afterwards.'

'I can take care of myself, Barton,' Duo wrenches his hand free. 'I don't need you fussing over me. I'm not Quat; I'm not into people fucking coddling me whenever I've got a boo-boo.'

'All I want,' Trowa says levelly, 'is to be there for you at the end of a bad day. That's all, Duo. It doesn't mean I think you can't look after yourself. It's what friends do for each other. What Wufei or Quat would do if they were here.'

'Yeah, I guess,' Duo says quietly, pushing his chair back from the desk and standing up. Heero's name hangs in the air between them; all but tangible. 'You're finished eating, right? Sorry to throw you out but I need to get back to work.'

'OK.' He kisses Duo's cheek on his way past, thinks that maybe one corner of Duo's mouth lifts, very slightly, at the gesture. I'll be at the airport tomorrow, all right? You can come with me or not.'

The flight ends up being nearly an hour late; he gets a text from Duo to tell him not to bother waiting and ignores it.

When Duo finally does come out of Arrivals, he just gives Trowa a terse little nod of acknowledgement, but he does fall into step beside him, and Trowa takes that as a minor personal victory. In the car, he puts on a CD and Duo either falls asleep or pretends to.

Maybe he really is asleep, Trowa thinks, studying him when they're stopped at a traffic light. He hadn't had much sleep at the weekend, and he'd probably been awake the previous night, thinking about the damn case. He looks wrecked; even his ponytail is drooping from its usual jaunty angle.

It takes a couple of tries to wake him when they did get to the lighthouse; he even lets Trowa carry his bag inside. He accepts a heaped plate of food and shakes his head at the wine.

'It's only half a glass,' Trowa insists. 'It'll help you sleep.'

Duo yawns massively. 'Don't need much help, Tro. I'm wrecked. And, wow, this tastes amazing. What is it?'

'Just a stew. Beef cheeks and noodles.' Perfect comfort food on a cold night, when you were tired and feeling down. 'There's plenty more, if you want.' He leans over to refill Duo's water glass. 'So? You want to talk about it?'

'Not so much.' He clears half his plate without saying anything else, then: 'You know the worst thing? He just - didn't seem to get that he'd done anything wrong. He'd been so fucking careful, you know? All the kids he was with, the ones we know about, they were orphans, runaways. Refugees, some of them. He just didn't think they mattered; he actually said that in his own defence. They weren't important enough for anyone to care about.' He sniffs. 'Worst thing, he wasn't wrong. They put these kids in the care system, nobody does care, most of the time.'

'You do,' Trowa says softly, sliding his chair across the floor so he could put an arm around Duo's shoulder.

'Tro, don't. Please. I'm just...trying to hold it together. Don't need you going all soppy on me. Oh, fucking shit.'

Quatre had always had the gift of crying prettily, tears sparkling like diamonds on golden lashes. Duo fights it hard at the start, and then just lets Trowa hold him while he gulps out a couple of wrenching sobs and then jerks away.

'Fuck. I told you, Barton.' He scrubs one fist across his eyes.' Just stop being so damn nice to me.'

'Absolutely not. Everyone gets upset sometimes. I'd think you were a pretty awful person if you weren't affected by something like that. Duo, can I ask you something?'

Duo shrugged. 'I know what it is. Did it ever happen to me when I was a little kid, right? No. Heard plenty of stories but no one ever touched me, not like that. I mean, I was in a couple of shitty foster homes where I got knocked around a couple times but hell, I probably deserved it. I was a total brat.'

Trowa lets himself breathe out. It was something he'd always wondered about 'Nothing's changed then,' he teases, and Duo almost smiles.

'Nope. Tro, I'm sorry but I think I need to crash before I fall asleep in my dinner. D'you mind?'

'I can sleep on the couch if you want,' Trowa offers. 'Let you commune with my bed in peace, without me getting in the way?'

Duo smiles at him. It's tired but it looks genuine enough, and then he shakes his head. 'Not going to put you out of your own bed. Come on.'

He can remember, exactly, the last time he'd woken up with someone in his bed, in his arms. Quatre, of course. He can remember the exact date, the time, even. Every single detail. Five months ago; that beach house the Winners owned on Antigua.

Pathetic, really.

Quat's always been a compulsive, limpet-like cuddler. Duo's - whatever the opposite of that might be. He'd fallen asleep as far away from Trowa as he possibly could, back turned. Then he'd woken up at some point, the sky only just starting to brighten outside, with Duo's head beside his, and he'd half-heartedly tried to move away to give Duo his space, and then Duo had moved even closer and properly clung onto him like he was a favourite pillow, and he'll probably freak out when he woke up, but... for now, it's good.

He doesn't really freak. His lashes flutter against his cheek, and then those amazing eyes are staring at Trowa, enormous. 'Whoa! What the fuck? Couldn't keep your hands off me, huh?'

'Not at all,' Trowa tells him levelly. 'You latched on to me sometime during the night; practically fought your way onto my pillow.'

Duo searches his expression, obviously not sure if he's telling the truth, and then lets his head fall back against Trowa's shoulder. 'I'm not into all that snuggly shit. Must have been cold or something. You need to get a decent heating system in this place.'

'Must have been cold, yeah,' Trowa agrees obligingly, slipping one hand through Duo's hair, and then stroking the back of his neck with the very tips of his fingers, something he's discovered Duo loves.

God, he's missed this part. Waking up with another person so close. He'd grown up sleeping in crowded barracks and camps and bunk halls, listening to other men snore and fart and grind their teeth, and then there'd been years of Quat, sleeping sweetly in his arms.

No one since then; sex, yeah, but never anyone he'd been remotely interested in falling asleep with, wanting that person to be there the next morning, smiling at him.

It's glorious.

And for all he's not into snuggly shit, Duo's not complaining either.

'So, I was thinking, it looks like a nice day outside, and I don't have anything pressing at work. What's your schedule like for today? Any chance you can stay?'

'You want me to pull a sickie?' Duo considers. Briefly. 'I could maybe take a vacation day. I've a couple of files I need to go over, but I could do that here. You have something you want to do?'

'A few somethings, actually. I was thinking, breakfast in bed. And we never actually got to spend any time on the beach at the weekend; we could go for a hike along the coast. How's any of that sound?'

'Pretty cool. I have literally never had breakfast in bed in my whole life. OK, that thing I said the other day, about not wanting you to fuss over me, I'm kind of thinking I might take that back. Do I get a do-over?'

'Absolutely. And I'm just being a nice boyfriend, that's all.'

Duo quirks an eyebrow at that.

'What else would you call me?'

'I dunno,' Duo mutters. 'It just sounds, I don't know, kiddish. Like we're in high school or whatever.'

Semantics. Right. Sure. 'What d'you want to you call us then?'

'The term fuckbuddies is probably appropriate, don't you think? Given everything.'

'Don't.' Trowa says shortly. His own fault really. All those high-flown ideals about not just leaping into bed together, and the first time he'd had Duo in his home, he'd done just that.

It hadn't just been sex though, not for him. They'd cooked dinner together on Saturday night, and then watched a film on the couch, and talked as they watched the sunrise, and spent a golden afternoon on the roof playing chess.

The sex had been all kinds of astronomical, no question about that, but it was actually the other things that he was remembering in odd little moments, making him smile.

Puttering around the kitchen with Duo; he'd originally meant to throw together some kind of scratch meal, but they'd ended up making a pretty decent risotto with a salad, and lemon tart to follow, and he'd loved every minute of having Duo there, working alongside him and discussing their favourite foods.

Sitting on the couch with Duo stretched out, head in his lap so Trowa could play with his hair, twisting it around his fingers in long silken strands, and poking holes in the plot of some crappy super-hero movie.

Duo shooting him one of those quick, triumphant grins, as he captured one of Trowa's knights, with the waves pounding beneath them, and seagulls floating overhead.

And apparently none of it meant a thing to the man beside him.

'Uh oh. You look pissed.' Duo has his head canted slightly, looking at him. 'What did I say?'

'Fuckbuddies, seriously? That's all I am to you?'

'I don't know what the hell you are,' Duo mutters. 'Look, you're great in bed and I have fun hanging out with you. What else d'you want me to say? Declare my eternal love for you or some shit like that? Get you a damn ring?'

'I'm not proposing either. Just saying, I like being with you. I'd like to spend more time with you. Exclusively.' He leans in for a kiss before Duo can say anything. 'You've got me, anyway. What would you like to eat?'

'Not hungry yet.' Duo breathes out; a long exhale, and curls just a little bit closer. Trowa takes that as agreement, acceptance of what he'd said. In any case, he'd said it, asked Duo out more or less officially, and Duo's not making a run for it.

'I'm kind of starting to like this whole snuggling thing as well.'

'I kind of picked up on that.' He tightens his arm around Duo's waist, and then rolls them so he's lying on top. 'So, since you're not hungry yet, you fancy trying to work up an appetite?'

It's different, this time. Not an epic sex marathon, as Duo had dubbed it before. Not so competitive, both of them out to prove something; to make the other one come first, make it last longer. There's more affection and a little teasing. They take their time over it, with lots of kissing and touching on the way. Not one sudden crescendo, but a series of slowly-rising peaks that seem to go on forever. No sudden crash either, afterwards, when it's over, just the two of them holding each other.

'Wow.' Duo gasps. 'That was, like, wow.'

Trowa can't do anything but laugh. 'That's articulate.'

'You stole the words,' Duo mumbles. 'All the damn words. And I'm starving now.'

'Message received.' Trowa bends down to kiss his mouth, very gentle.

'Want a hand in the kitchen?'

'I'm good. You can stay here; give me an incentive to hurry back.'

It's tempting just to throw some cereal in a bowl, knowing that Duo's waiting in his bed, gloriously naked, but it seems like cheating after he'd promised to cook, so he does, catering for Duo's insanely sweet tooth with French toast, and fruit salad, and some defrosted pastries. The effort's worth it, when he sees the look on Duo's face.

'Well?' He settles the tray on the mattress and slides in beside Duo. 'Like the breakfast in bed thing?'

'Hell, yeah.' Duo bites reaches for a croissant and bites into it. 'Oh. Kind of crumby.'

Trowa laughs. 'Well. I'm going to need to change the sheets later anyway.'

Duo's mouth is half-open, smiling; Trowa pops a strawberry in it, and then kisses him, thoroughly enough that Duo's eyes start to glaze over.

'Hey, I forgot to ask. How was the apartment yesterday? Are you taking it?'

Mouth full, Duo nods and then laughs. 'Yeah, I said I'd take it. It's OK; the location's great, one of those new blocks down by the river. Got its own balcony with a view of the water. It's tiny, though, like a shoe box. Seriously, I can stand in the middle of the bedroom and reach out to touch all the walls. Still, it's just for a couple of months. Gives me time to look around. Oh, while you were in the kitchen, I was thinking, there's this flea market in Nova on the first Tuesday of every month. I need to pick up a couple things. A bookcase and maybe a chair for the balcony.'

'You can't just order something on-line from Ikea?'

'I hate that place,' Duo says, with just a shade more vehemence than most people associate with an innocent Swedish furniture shop, and then looks just a little self-conscious. He bites a toast crust in half with a vicious snap. 'Heero bought all his furniture from there; just ordered whatever displays fit in the rooms. It's like - it was like living in a shop. Anyway, it was just a thought. We don't have to if you hate it.'

'No, it's fine.' OK, shopping, any type of shopping, has got to be his least favourite activity in the universe, and it's not remotely how he'd planned to spend the day, looking at other people's third-hand cast-offs, but Duo seems keen. 'It's a nice drive along the coast; we can do the market, then go have lunch somewhere, and maybe do part of the cliff walk.'

The drive does end up being nice, especially with Duo's hand on his knee the whole time, but the market itself is just as hellish as he'd imagined. Not just assorted broken crap that no one wants, but a full-on Family Day Out. Candy floss and pony rides and a brass band. Fuck it, even face-painting. Kids running around and screaming.

'Sorry, Tro,' Duo says uncertainly, looking at his face. 'I totally forgot this week is Spring break. Normally, it's just furniture stalls and a few food carts. We don't have to stay.'

'No, it's OK. We're here now. Might as well look for the stuff you want.'

For the first few stalls, it is pretty much awful, but he sips the hazelnut coffee Duo bought him, and eyes Duo's ass for consolation, and somewhere it kind of starts to get to be fun. He doesn't quite catch up to the levels of Duo's bright-eyed enthusiasm for rooting through piles of tat, but it's not horrific. And Duo bends down a lot to examine things, which is a nice bonus.

Duo finds a bookcase at the first stall they visit; it's shabby but it's sturdy enough and he says the size is perfect. In rapid progression, they acquire a basket-weave rocking chair with a limp cushion; a bedside locker missing one of its legs, and a plastic vegetable rack. They make a fairly good double act as far as the haggling over price is concerned, the stallholders charmed by Duo's winsome smile, and shooting Trowa dirty looks when he complains the stuff is all crap and not worth carting home. They end up getting everything for a fraction of the originally quoted prices, and Duo is beaming as they cart it all to the truck.

'That was cool, Tro! Right, ready to go back in for round two?'

Trowa's heart sinks. 'You want to look at more junk? I thought you got everything you wanted.'

'That was the stuff I needed,' Duo corrects. 'I thought it might be fun just to browse around.' He hoists his bookcase up, and then looks at Trowa. 'Oh, we don't have to. It's probably not how you'd planned to spend your day off, huh?'

Trowa sighs. 'We can take a quick look 'round, if you want, and then go get lunch.'

'Sounds like a plan!' Duo grins at him as two little boys dash past, faces bright with tiger-stripes. 'Tell me, why d'you hate face-painting so much? I saw the look on your face when you got here. I thought you'd be used to that stuff at the circus.'

'Oh. God. I have two five-year-old nieces. They're going through the make-up princessy stage. I'm their favourite model.'

Duo actually bends down, he's laughing so hard. 'That's the most adorable thing I've ever heard. Ever. In my whole life.'

'And you'll forget it if you ever want to get near my cock again,' Trowa says smartly. Damn, he's no idea why he even mentioned Eve and Sadie doing that. Duo's like fucking Kryptonite, making him feel so relaxed that he blabs anything without even thinking.

'Oh, burn. The ultimate threat.' He mimes zipping his lip closed. ''Kay. Totally forgotten. So, you spend much time with them?'

'When I can. Their dad's not really in the picture, so I try to be around. You like kids?'

'I guess. Don't really know any personally, just Auri and he's a bit young to have actual conversations or whatever. Um.' He bites his lip after that, and dives into the nearest stall. 'Anyway. Come on, let's go and find some treasures.'

The first treasure is a monstrosity of a mirror, easily as tall as Duo, and half again as broad.

Trowa grimaces. 'It's hideous, Duo. It looks like it belongs in a brothel. And if your new place is as small as you say, you won't even get it through the door.'

'How d'you know so much about interior décor in brothels, Tro?' Duo teases. 'Actually, I don't want it for me, it's for you. Since we're on the subject of brothels, I thought it'd look good over your bed.'

Trowa snorts coffee through his nose. 'You are joking, right? There's no way that's coming into my house.'

'I was joking about putting it on your ceiling, yeah.' Duo crouches down at his feet, peeling off a long curl of gilt with one fingernail. 'I did think it'd look cool in the lighthouse. Look, it's hideous 'cause of all that scuzzy gold paint; the actual frame's decent wood, and it's a really nice shape; you could scrape the gilt off, paint it off-white or grey and maybe stick on some shells or whatever. I even have the perfect place for it; that first-floor landing. It's exactly the right size and it'll reflect the view from that big window. Be like having the sea on the wall.'

'Um, OK,' Trowa says just a little dubiously. He's not really into mirrors, into clutter-y things generally, but he'll let Duo cover every wall he has with gilt monstrosities or shells, or whatever he wants, just to keep him smiling like that.

Half an hour later, they've acquired quite a collection: an old door which Duo calls an 'accent piece', whatever the hell that means; a couple of mismatched and rickety kitchen chairs; and the one thing that Trowa actually likes; an old leather-bound seaman's chest.

A pile of crap, truly. Still, it was all cheap and it had been enjoyable enough burrowing through the stacks of furniture and almost getting caught up in Duo's eagerness and bantering with the stall-holders. A world away from shopping with Quat. He can't, in a million years, imagine Quat somewhere like this.

On the way back to the car park, Duo snags a tarnished ship's lantern, and casts a speculative eye over a couple of lobster pots. 'You know, I've seen these made into coffee tables and stools and stuff. Might look pretty good.'

'No way,' Trowa says firmly. 'Not those. They're used to trap live creatures. I don't want them in my house.'

'Oh, my God,' Duo smirks at him, but there's undeniable affection there as well as the teasing. 'You colossal sap. Forget about the kids putting lipstick on you. That's the sweetest thing ever.'

'I'm not sweet,' Trowa starts to object and then Duo kisses him. In the middle of the parking lot, in broad daylight, even if there isn't actually anyone in their immediate vicinity. He stiffens at the start and then Duo coaxes him into it, and it's Duo, not Quat anyway. It's allowed. They can do this, and no one's going to care.

'So, um,' Duo asks when they pull apart. Finally. 'Sorry. Maybe I should've asked. I know some people aren't into the whole PDA thing.'

Heero isn't, Trowa's mind supplies helpfully. 'Did I look like I didn't like it?'

'For a sec at the start, yeah. Kind of.'

'Honestly, it's not a problem. It's just not something I'm all that used to. That's all.'

'Yeah, nor me. But you don't actually have issues with the whole touching-in-public thing?'

'Nope.' He proves it by backing Duo against the side of the truck, and doing his level best to lick Duo's tonsils.

'So, kissing's good, right?' Duo presses against him, and slides one hand down his hip, resting the palm on the curve of his ass. 'Groping?'

'Not...a problem either.'

'And this?' He reaches up, in the process rubbing his crotch enticingly against Trowa's and closes his lips around Trowa's earlobe, sucking it gently into his mouth.

Oh, shit. 'Duo, unless you're actually into having sex in public places, you really need to stop doing that. Now. Or I'll have to bend you over this truck and we'll probably both end up getting arrested for gross indecency.'

'I'm so turned on right now, I'm almost tempted,' Duo breathes, warm breath ghosting across Trowa's skin.

The contrast between that, and the little licks he's dabbing down Trowa's neck are almost enough to make him come, never mind that he's got the evidence of just how turned on Duo is pressed flush against his own erection.

'Duo. Stop that. Now!'

'Jeez, Tro.' Duo pulls back obediently, smirking. 'Never thought you'd get all hot and bothered like that over a little kiss or two. How 'bout we go with Plan B and get some lunch and then you can take me back to the lighthouse and you can bend me whichever way you want?'

'Good plan. Provided I don't spontaneously combust before we get home.' He opens the passenger door and helps himself to a good feel of Duo's ass as he slides inside. 'I know a nice seafood place down by the harbour.'

'Sounds good.' Duo twists to gaze out the back window at their new possessions. 'Uh, Tro. Would you mind if I kept my stuff at your place for a bit? Don't think 'Fei'd be too keen if I carted all this in the door.'

'I can't imagine he would, no,' Trowa agrees, imagining Wufei's expression if he had all this crap dumped in his pristine apartment. 'There are a couple of empty outhouses behind the lighthouse. You can take on of those.'

'That'd be cool. If it's OK, I have some tools and odds and ends in Heero's garage. I was thinking, I should pick them up before he gets back, or he'll probably throw them all out; he was always bitching about me cluttering his place up with too much stuff. D'you think it'd be OK if I kept them at the lighthouse? Or is that too much.'

'It's fine, I've got tonnes of space, I can help you move things if you want.'

''Kay. Thanks,' Duo says absently, a faraway look on his face, as they pull out of the parking space and join the line of cars, waiting to leave. Not really hard to guess who he's thinking of.

'When's Heero getting back, do you know? Where is he anyway?'

'L3. Some software installation job.'

Trowa nods; he'd known that actually. He'd just wanted to see if Duo did.

'He's back in a couple of days, I think,' Duo goes on. 'Well, due back. You know what he's like. Does what he wants, most of the time.'

'Have you talked to him at all?'

'What the hell is this?' Duo snaps at him. 'Twenty questions? Yeah, he called me a couple times. I told him it's over. I told him to go fuck himself. He knows about you. Us. Anything else you want to know?'

'Do you miss him?'

Duo doesn't answer at once, just fidgets with a loose strand of hair, twisting it around his finger. 'I guess. I don't know, Trowa. It's not like we had this perfect relationship for years, and then one day we had a colossal row and just broke up. Yeah, there were bits when it was good, and I thought maybe we were getting somewhere, and then there were these other bits when he treated me like this lodger who paid rent and put out if he was in the mood. I think he was actually happy with that, like he was getting what he wanted and it was enough for him, but I wasn't. I think we just got to this point where nothing was changing, you know? Like we weren't even communicating and he'd just lock himself in his room and we weren't even able to talk to each other and we'd always at least been able to do that.' He sighed, heartfelt. 'He said I always wanted too much, like he just didn't get it. I just wanted us to do couple-y stuff, sometimes. Like, even to pretend we were really together. Well, you know how he grew up. Poor guy is totally screwed up. He'd never in a million years have come to something like this with me. Wouldn't even have considered it for a second. It's really great that you did. I get that it wasn't exactly on your list of fun stuff to do today, but you came along, and you gave it a try. That was really amazing.'

~ * ~

Chapter 7

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