|
"Meditations on the Colour Blue"Written By: Waterliliylf Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. All rights
remain with Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. No profit being
made here. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Sap, angst, fluff Pairings: Wufei/Zechs get together. Background
1x2, 3x4 Summary: When Wufei takes a sabbatical to finish
his new book, his aim to write loses focus due to noisy neighbours...but
is that such a bad thing when one of them happens to be a handsome
prince? "Meditations on the Colour Blue"
Chapter Two: 'It is your first day here,' the tall man coaxed. 'I think you could indulge yourself a little. I've been wanting to kiss you ever since I saw you last night, you know. Wufei, may I? Please?' It wasn't a dream, Wufei realised, surreptitiously pinching his thigh. It was really happening. It was impossible. Things like this simply did not happen to people like him. Men like Zechs didn't romance shy, bookish university lecturers. Zechs was silent, watching him with a smile in those mesmerising eyes, and that one hand was still warm on his hip. Oh, dear gods, he was all but naked, Wufei realised suddenly, making a sudden grab for the towel that lay at his feet. Zechs might find it normal, acceptable to kiss total strangers; Chang Wufei did not. The opportunity had never arisen. Did Zechs truly think that he was so …. easy? Or perhaps it was all some master-plan of Quatre's, who had a penchant for matchmaking? Duo, last night, had mentioned that Quatre had asked them to keep an eye on him. Wufei still hadn't had time to feel offended about that. Was all this flirting - whatever it was - due to some suggestion that Quatre had made? 'Excuse me, please.' It came out stiffly, as Wufei draped the towel around his hips, and Zechs dropped his hand at once. Irrationally, Wufei missed that slight, warm contact. Ridiculous. He felt better with the large towel wrapped around him though. More in control. And the wants of that part of his body that he hadn't been able to control were no longer visible. 'Wufei?' Zechs said softly, those blue eyes intent on him. 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you in any way.' He swallowed. 'You didn't. I, ah…' Floundering for something, anything, to say Wufei sought refuge in hospitality. Zechs was a guest, albeit an uninvited one, and he, as host, was behaving most discourteously. 'Can I get you something? A drink?' 'That would be lovely.' Oh, shit. Why, exactly, had he said that? Wufei agonised as he headed back inside. Now, he had no chance of getting even a moment's work done. And he'd already agreed to go to Zechs' home for lunch. Why? This would be a whole day wasted. Another day. Wufei laid his forehead against the cool kitchen tiles, willing his mind, his carefully disciplined mind, to take over for just one hour, and for his body to stop reacting to the other man. It was natural enough, he supposed. It was so long - too long - since he'd been with anybody, and Zechs was very attractive. He'd said Wufei was attractive too, but that didn't really mean anything. Someone like that was probably so used to flirting that they did it automatically. It would be utter foolishness to read anything into what had no doubt been a throw away comment. Damnation. He should never have accepted that lunch invitation; it was too late to back out now without being rude. He wasn't sure why he'd even agreed in the first place. He'd been refusing most social engagements lately, wrapped up in his books and his research. He should have refused Zechs; should have made it totally clear that he wasn't here to socialise. He had a job to do. But there had been that bizarre little spurt of relief that Duo and Zechs weren't, in fact, a couple, and then Zechs had told him that he admired his books, and he had looked…admiring as he said it. Very admiring, actually. People tended not to look at Chang Wufei like that. Oh, damnation. Wufei murmured it softly, then banged his head, none too gently, against the wall. Perhaps that would knock some sense into his brain. What is happening to me? He'd almost let Zechs kiss him. He'd wanted it. Wanted more than just kisses, if he were totally honest with himself. Those few seconds, with Zechs' arms around him, his body pressed close, and the other man's breath warm on his skin, had been more intimate than anything he'd ever experienced in his life. And for all he could blame lingering tiredness, and the difficulty of adjusting to such a new lifestyle, and his own body's natural reaction to the proximity of such a handsome man, there had been something else there too. Zechs' eyes shining into his, and those fingers touching his skin….. Oh, he'd wanted more. So very much more. Ridiculous. Quite. The person he was, the person he'd spent his whole life becoming, did not do things like that. Chang Wufei did not let total strangers, however handsome and charming, kiss him. Or touch him, or press him into a sun-lounger and press into him. No. No matter how badly he wanted it, he didn't do that sort of thing. Adjusting the towel, again, and taking a succession of deep breaths, he poured two tall glasses of orange juice and went back out to the terrace. Zechs looked utterly, perfectly at home, sprawled lazily back in one of Quatre's lounge chairs, and smiled his thanks as Wufei handed him a glass. Of course he felt at home; he'd said that he was a frequent visitor. This was probably a perfectly normal way for him to spend a morning; lounging around in the sun and sipping cool drinks. It was…surprisingly pleasant, actually, just to sit and watch the darting swallows, little blurs of movement against the deep blue of the sky. There were butterflies too, flitting from flower to flower. He never noticed things like that at home, rushing around with his mind on his next lecture, or an essay he was marking. It was very pleasant. It didn't hurt that he had Zechs beside him, close enough to touch if he just reached out one hand. Naturally, he didn't, although part of him wished that Zechs would touch him again, or even flirt a little. So stupid of him. Of course, Zechs wasn't going to do anything of the sort. Not after the way Wufei had behaved. Well, there obviously wasn't going to be any kissing now, not with Zechs politely asking him about his flight the previous day, and commenting on his last book. Wufei had finally learned the art of making small talk at faculty parties and book signings. He hated it. Zechs, of course, could do it charmingly, asking about the new book, and offering his help if needed. 'What made you decide to come to Spain?' he asked, and Wufei tore his gaze away from the way Zechs' throat muscles worked when he swallowed, and tried to frame some sort of coherent answer. The answer was that he hadn't made the decision at all. He'd never meant to leave the university; he had his own apartment on campus, close to the library and he'd seen no reason to uproot his whole life. Taking a sabbatical was more than enough of a change. He didn't need to relocate as well. That had been before he'd received the letter from the university administration, stating that faculty housing was only available to staff who were currently teaching there. Due to the current accommodation shortages, his apartment was needed for his replacement. He'd almost reconsidered the whole exercise at that point and then he'd mentioned it to Trowa and Quatre had overheard, and immediately placed the villa at his disposal. Wufei had accepted the offer without thinking too much about it. Trowa said the place was quiet, and had internet access, and that there was plenty of space for his books. He hadn't really thought too much about anything else. Quatre had emailed photographs of the house, and Trowa had sent long messages about how beautiful the place was, but he hadn't been terribly interested. It was just a house, after all. Zechs, once he'd explained all that, looked rather nonplussed. 'Well, I'm glad you're here, anyway. It's a beautiful place. After lunch, if you like, we can walk down to the harbour. It's only a few minutes. Duo keeps his boat there; if you like sailing, he'll be happy to take you out sometime. There are several pods of dolphins in the bay; we see them most days. And there's a wonderful stretch of beach that goes on for miles. I usually walk there in the evenings, if you'd like to join me sometime?' 'I'm sure it's quite lovely, but I don't have the time to be a tourist,' Wufei said resolutely, repressing an absurd image of himself and Zechs, walking hand in hand on a beach. At sunset. What in the world was making his brain react to this place, this man, by producing a succession of the most absurd romantic clichés? It would be…pleasant, though, to walk barefoot on sand. He'd arrived the previous evening just as the sun was sinking. He'd actually taken a few moments away from his unpacking to stand by the bedroom window and admire the sky, painted vividly with rich strokes of plum and gold. 'With the best will in the world, you can't work twenty four hours a day,' Zechs argued, smiling at him. A terribly unsettling thing that smile. It invited Wufei to share the joke, to enter into the humour of it all. As if the two of them shared something that the rest of the world didn't, and he could feel his mouth, operating quite without instructions, quirk into a smile of its own. A little agreement that of course what he'd said had been absurd, and that he'd be far better off abandoning his life's work to spend time with someone he'd just met. He'd hated the stilted small talk, mourning that lost little bit of intimacy, but now they were suddenly on the verge of recapturing it and that was scary. Far better to stick to the polite nothings, and hope that Zechs would finish his drink and leave. He was taking his time though, measuring it out in small sips. 'I have a deadline from my publisher to meet,' Wufei said finally, a last ditch attempt to cling to his so-carefully made plans. He'd never been sailing. He'd never seen a dolphin, except on an educational trip to an aquarium when he was a child. He'd never held hands with someone while walking on a beach. Damn. No wonder Trowa hadn't stayed with him. No wonder he'd wanted someone warm and impulsive and affectionate. 'Ah, the deadline again.' Zechs' eyes gleamed. 'When precisely is it, this precious deadline of yours?' 'The end of August. And I'm only on the third draft.' 'You do realise that's almost four months away?' Zechs lifted one eyebrow at him. 'Don't you think you're allowed to have a little fun on holiday?' 'I'm not on holiday!' Wufei snapped, annihilating the tiny, tempting voice in his mind that suggested the possibility that Zechs was right. After all, he wasn't exactly working at the moment; stretched out under a brilliantly blue sky in the company of the most handsome man he'd ever seen. Who apparently wanted to spend time with him, for some reason. Ever since he was very young, his life had been run according to plans and timetables; bulwarks against an uncertain world. As a prodigiously clever child born into a family of compulsively high achievers, he'd grown up with every minute of every day ruthlessly and rigorously planned out for him. He didn't really know how to live with that safety net of tight schedules. 'What are you proposing anyway? That we have some sort of fling?' It came out more savage than he'd intended. If he made it sound insulting enough, Zechs might leave him alone. He'd never flung in his entire life, and had no intention of starting. He had a book to finish, and no time for relationships. End of story. Zechs just chuckled at him, apparently immune to Wufei's glare. 'Actually, you're the one who's making that particular proposal, not me.' Damn. He was perfectly right. He couldn't believe he'd actually said that; actually propositioned another man in broad daylight. And Zechs apparently thought it was all a joke. Setting his glass carefully aside, he stood and stalked off to the terrace, gazing into the pool. It was all the blasted pool's fault. All of it. If he hadn't been tempted to go swimming, none of this could have happened. Zechs would have found him at work, fully clothed and deep in concentration. He wouldn't have been half-naked and indulging in fanciful daydreams. 'Wufei?' Zechs voice was soft; the other man had to be standing right behind him, even though Wufei hadn't heard him approach. 'What's the matter?' 'Nothing.' He reached up and brushed a strand of hair back from his face. He'd forgotten to tie it back again. For his whole life, it had been second nature to keep his hair pulled back, and now he'd been sitting with it drifting free and he hadn't even noticed. Zechs had said he looked different with it down. What is happening to me? 'Wufei?' It was just a breath in his ear, because Zechs was standing close enough for him to feel the other man's body. 'I'm sorry. I never meant to offend you.' 'It's not you,' Wufei managed. 'I'm just …it's nothing.' 'Would you like me to go?' 'No.' Wufei leaned a little farther back, just enough to feel Zechs' chest against his back. 'Please.' Oh, that was just wonderful. Bad enough to fall apart in front of a total stranger, but then to practically beg that person to stay and witness it. It was purest folly to expect Zechs to stay with him after such a show of weakness; he'd never allowed himself to ask that much of Trowa, and Trowa was the person he'd felt closest to in the universe. But he really, really didn't want to be alone. Not now, when he suddenly felt his whole carefully-constructed, elaborately-ordered world shifting under his feet. He'd been raised to cope with personal crises by meditation and reflection, not by running to other people for help. But he'd precipitated this particular crisis himself, running away from his career and his home and his life to this new country where he knew no one, and wasn't sure quite how to deal with any of it. 'It's OK,' Zechs soothed, wrapping both arms around Wufei's waist. It felt unbelievably good. He was just a little taller than Trowa; tall enough that Wufei fit against him perfectly. Like they belonged together. Just breathe, Chang, Wufei thought. He'd spent years perfecting the discipline; it couldn't possibly fail him now, not when he badly needed to find some sort of focus. 'Talk to me,' his guest invited. 'You're an intelligent person; I'm sure you can breathe and talk at the same time.' There was a little shiver of laughter in his voice, and Wufei felt a little chuckle escape his own lips. It was there again; that little connection of shared humour. Wufei just sighed, letting himself relax in the other man's arms. Breathing, suddenly, seemed an irrelevance. He wanted this. 'I thought you said I was attractive,' he blurted, and then immediately wanted to bite his tongue out. He must be sounding like a petulant teenager. 'I did, didn't I?' Zechs sounded faintly amused and Wufei stiffened against him. Was this really all a joke to him? 'I'm just teasing, Wufei,' Zechs pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 'You are very, very attractive. And you have the loveliest hair. And a very beautiful mouth. I meant what I said earlier, you know. I've been wanting to kiss you since the first moment I saw you talking to Duo. I still do, actually. Very much.' He was kissing Wufei in between words, his lips gently drifting across Wufei's hair, the back of his neck. 'I don't do …one night stands,' Wufei said uncertainly. 'I'm glad to hear it. Neither do I, as it happens. And I have absolutely no intention of letting you go after one night. I'm not that much of an idiot.' Chang Wufei wasn't an idiot either; very far from it, in fact. He was a highly intelligent young man whose whole life had been devoted to cultivating that particular quality. He wasn't quite idiotic enough to destroy this wonderful, out of the blue, opportunity. Even if it terrified the life out of him. For once in his life, he was going to do something spontaneous and impulsive and utterly reckless. Something that none of his friends would believe. But he had already made the decision to change his life, and maybe this was a part of it. He turned in Zechs' embrace, in the warm shelter of those muscular arms, and looked up. Those eyes, with the sun shining in them, were breathtaking. Not just the colour, that unique shade of blue, but the sheer breadth of affection and desire. No one had ever looked at him like that. Swallowing, forgetting to breathe, Wufei moistened his lips nervously. He was actually going to do this. He was. 'I've been wanting to kiss you ever since I saw you
last night, you know. Zechs, may I? Please?' ~ * ~ |
