|
"Meditations on the Colour Blue"Written By: Waterliliylf Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. All rights
remain with Bandai, Sotsu and associated parties. No profit being
made here. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Sap, angst, fluff Pairings: Wufei/Zechs get together. Background
1x2, 3x4 Summary: When Wufei takes a sabbatical to finish
his new book, his aim to write loses focus due to noisy neighbours...but
is that such a bad thing when one of them happens to be a handsome
prince? "Meditations on the Colour Blue" Chapter 11: 'You know, I should probably get going.' Duo grinned at them both, setting himself more comfortably in his chair. 'Really?' Zechs didn't even bother to hide the sarcasm in his voice. Duo had been announcing his intention to leave even as he'd walked through the front door, and at regular intervals since. Part of him wanted to be annoyed. 'I thought you were planning to move in permanently.' 'Nah, I told Heero I'd be home for dinner.' This time, he actually stood up. 'You guys, be good. And if you can't be good, make sure you enjoy it! Zechs, don't go ripping his fancy new clothes off, OK? He looks great, doesn't he?' Duo's tone was as proud as if he'd invented Wufei all by himself. 'He always looks wonderful,' Zechs responded softly. 'Sure he does,' Duo agreed. 'In clothes, out of clothes. Whatever. Maybe he'll give you a little fashion show later if you're good?' 'I think, Maxwell, that it's high time you left.' 'Oh, fine. I get that I'm not wanted.' He was obviously doing his best to sound offended, the effect spoilt by his smile. 'Wufei, call me in the morning, OK? And have fun, both of you. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!' Zechs snorted, all but shoving him out the door. 'Is there such a thing? Goodnight, Duo.' 'Has he actually gone this time?' Wufei groaned, his cheeks deliciously flushed from Duo's parting comments. 'Miraculously, yes.' Zechs looked out of the window to check; Duo turned back to give him a jaunty wave that transformed into a slightly obscene gesture. 'I should have thrown him out an hour ago.' He should have. But it had helped, somehow, having Duo there. It meant he hadn't had to be alone with Wufei; that he could pretend everything was fine. 'I'd have held the door for you.' 'I'll remember that for next time.' 'I don't think we should even let him in the door next time.' There was the loveliest, most tempting smile on Wufei's lush mouth, begging to be kissed. Irresistible, despite all his best intentions. It was Treize, all over again, and Wufei was going to leave him, just like Treize had, and it was going to happen all over again. A long, loving farewell with promises to keep in touch and visit and then dwindling 'phone calls and the occasional, impersonal email and then nothing. And it was all his own fault; wanting too much as usual. Wanting everything. For the first ten minutes or so after Quatre had hung up, he'd been furious, and then he'd tried to rationalise. Wufei hadn't lied directly, as such. Perhaps he hadn't been totally honest, but then maybe that was Zechs' fault as well. He hadn't asked; he'd made certain assumptions, because he'd wanted to. It even made sense, if he tried to look at it from the other man's perspective. Wufei's entire life had changed massively in the past couple of weeks. A new home in a new country; his ex-boyfriend blissfully happy with a new partner. What could be more reasonable than a brief holiday romance with someone he'd most likely never see again? A nice little boost to his ego, and a convenient sexual partner; no strings attached. Who wouldn't want that? Zechs sighed as Wufei twined both arms around his neck, pulling his head down for a deep, devouring kiss. 'You're being very forward.' 'I think it's Duo's influence,' Wufei admitted, tongue dabbing gently at the tiny hollow just below Zechs' right ear. 'Mmm. I'll have to send you out with him more often if he has this effect on you.' 'I'd rather go out with you.' Sharp teeth delivered a stinging little nip to his earlobe. 'Or maybe it's the champagne we had at lunch. I hadn't realised I liked it so much.' 'You're adorable.' Zechs sank down into his favourite armchair, pulling the other man into his lap. 'And don't start contradicting me. We've already had this conversation, and if I say my boyfriend is adorable, he is.' Boyfriend. Hah. He'd said he didn't do flings, by which he'd presumably meant one night stands. Fair enough. Insanely stupid of Zechs to think that had implied he wanted some sort of longer commitment. 'But I wasn't going to contradict you.' Those beautiful dark eyes gleamed up at him. 'Duo's been teaching me how to accept compliments gracefully.' 'Oh, has he now?' One of Zechs' fingers found that nasty, obstructive little hair elastic, and flicked it away, freeing all that glorious ebony silk. 'I'm not sure if I'll be sending you two off alone together again. I'm the only one who should be giving you champagne and compliments.' And he had ten days to do it, assuming Quatre was right about when he planned to leave. It wasn't very much. A sensible man would look on ten days of commitment-free sex with a beautiful, willing partner as an unlooked-for gift and revel in every second and not indulge in ridiculous fantasies of wanting more. Wufei gave him a demure little smile. 'But it wasn't Duo who bought me champagne. It was a man in the restaurant where we had lunch.' 'Really?' How very odd, that he didn't actually mind the thought of it. Treize had always gloried in attention and flattery; he'd loved coming home and flaunting all the propositions he'd received. But this was Wufei and he was saying it almost bemusedly, as if he didn't quite believe that such a thing had happened to him. None of this made any sense whatsoever. 'Zechs? You don't mind, do you? It wasn't serious or anything.' If he'd felt even a moment's jealousy, it would have evaporated under the concern in the other man's face, tinged with anxiety. 'I'm sorry. Duo was fooling around and I just went along with him.' 'Don't be silly.' Zechs bent and kissed the tiny groove that had suddenly appeared between those dark brows. 'I'm surprised there was only one man trying to get your attention. Especially dressed in those clothes.' 'Oh! Do you like them?' Wufei bit his lip on the last word, but the question had already escaped. He was just too adorable. Ten days, after all, had to be better than nothing. It was what Wufei clearly wanted. 'I like them very much. I can't wait to see what else you have in all those bags. I don't suppose you'd consider going along with Duo's suggestion of giving me a little fashion show?' That black head shook firmly, soft hair stirring delightfully against Zechs' neck. 'Not tonight.' 'No? Does that mean you have something else in mind for us to do?' 'You know perfectly well what I have in mind,' Wufei retorted tartly. Of course he did. Of course. He had this beautiful man pressed against him and everything he said or did only served to make Zechs want him more. 'I know.' He said it heavily, arms tightening around Wufei's waist. I'm such a fool. 'May I ask you something first? Please?' Those glorious eyes were gazing into his, searching. 'What's wrong?' He was deadly serious, all the light flirtation gone in a blink. 'What did I do?' 'Nothing.' Zechs pushed his head into the curve of the other man's shoulder, unable to look at him. 'You've done nothing wrong. It's me.' Letting himself dream of something that would never happen. 'Zechs?' Wufei let him lie there, one soft hand stroking his hair, but of course he wouldn't leave the subject alone. 'Just tell me what's the matter?' 'I'm falling in love with you.' There. He'd said it. 'I'm sorry. I know it's ridiculously soon to say anything of the sort, but we did say we were going to be honest with each other.' 'I don't think I understand,' Wufei whispered. 'I, ah, I'm honoured of course, but well, I don't know what falling in love feels like, not really, but I do like you enormously and maybe more than that, and I can't stop thinking about you and …why on earth are you apologising for saying something like that?' 'It's stupid because you're only here for ten more days,' Zechs said tightly. 'Because you'll be leaving soon and because I want something that I can't have.' 'I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.' 'Quatre called while you were out with Duo. Not long after you'd both left actually. I hadn't realised you were planning to leave here quite so soon. He happened to mention that you have a flight to New York already booked.' Waiting for Wufei to come back, he'd tried to convince himself that it didn't matter; that a few weeks would be enough, and that maybe they could make a plan to meet up again at some point. Maybe. It was his own fault. 'It would have been nice if you'd told me any of that. I'd been under the impression that you were here for several months, at least. That we'd have enough time for whatever we have between us to develop. If all you're after is a sexual partner for your holiday, then I'm sorry but I don't think I can oblige you.' 'Oh, Zechs.' He could see emotions chasing each other across Wufei's face, like flickers of lightning and then the other man was kissing him. More lightning strikes. Desire and anger and need. Was that it then? One last kiss before he left. To tempt him otherwise or to show him what he was missing or a little gesture of pity. 'What Quatre said wasn't exactly true.' His breathing was just a little ragged, but every word was clinically precise. 'I'm going to need to tell you a little bit of how all this happened. Can you just listen to me?' He pushed himself off Zechs' lap, perching on the arm of his chair. 'Trowa and I used to share an apartment. When we broke up, I was the one who moved out. That was only fair; he'd been the one to find it, and he'd done a lot of maintenance work. I moved into an apartment on campus. When I took my sabbatical, I assumed I'd just stay there and work in the library and that nothing would really change except that I wouldn't have any classes to teach. Two weeks ago, I had a letter from the Housing Administration Secretary saying that my new home was needed for a visiting professor. I told Trowa and he mentioned that Quatre had a villa in Spain that he almost never used.' 'Ah.' 'Yes,' Wufei added wryly. 'Exactly. Ah. I refused at first; I didn't want to move to a new country and certainly not to a house belonging to my ex's new partner, but I was caught up in editing my book. I didn't want to have to start searching for somewhere to live. All I really needed was a quiet place where I could work for a few weeks so I could send the first draft off to my publishers.' 'Quatre said he spoke to you the day before yesterday. That he'd said you were welcome to stay in the villa for longer if you liked. That you refused. Was he wrong?' Wufei sighed deeply. 'Yes, he did say that, very kindly, and I did refuse, but not because I had any plans to leave Spain. His house is far too big for me; I don't feel comfortable there. He won't even let me pay a proper rent, just a ridiculously small contribution toward the utilities. I'd really rather not live on the charity of my ex-boyfriend's new partner. I thought I might look into finding a small place to rent. I asked Duo and he told me that there are some studio apartments to let down by the harbour.' He sniffed. 'If you don't believe me, you can ask him.' Oh, God. This was all going so terribly wrong. 'Of course I believe you! Please, Wufei, can you just listen to me? I wasn't thinking clearly. I've spent the last couple of hours thinking you'd been planning to leave all along, that you'd never meant to stay here for more than a few weeks.' 'I do have a flight booked,' the Chinese man told him quietly. 'My friend Sally lives in New York. I think I told you about her. She moved to America a couple of years ago and she's always nagging me to visit her. I booked the tickets weeks ago, when they were on a special offer, but the date is changeable. I was going to postpone it. Now, can you please tell me why you thought I only wanted you for a few weeks' sexual gratification? Don't you trust me at all?' That beautiful face was painfully full of hurt and bewilderment. 'I have told you and told you that I'm not interested in those sort of flings. I thought you believed that, but you obviously don't know me at all.' 'Wufei, please don't.' Zechs could hear the raw pain in his own voice; it exactly mirrored the pain in Wufei's dark eyes. 'I have no idea what I thought. Can you try to put yourself in my position for a moment? How would you have felt if Duo told you that I was planning to leave the country and hadn't even mentioned it to you?' 'I hope I would have the decency to ask you to tell me your plans before I started insulting you!' Wufei flashed. 'I might possibly wonder if Duo had somehow got his facts wrong, and why he was telling me such a thing in the first place.' 'If that's aimed at Quatre, he's one of my closest friends. He was trying to help.' 'It was none of his business. None,' Wufei glared at him. 'If he is such a good, true friend, he should be glad that you have found someone to care for and who cares about you. 'He didn't mean it like that. He and Heero were there three years ago when Treize left me. Quatre just doesn't want me to be hurt like that again. That's all.' Wufei sniffed. 'Heero is not trying to separate us. Nor is Duo, who appears to be very fond of you. I would never treat anyone in such a dishonourable manner. If you had asked me my plans, I would have told you what I just said. Instead, you prefer to listen to gossip from someone who knows nothing about me. How can you truly have such a low opinion of me that you can believe I'd just walk out on you after what's happened between us?' 'Because I'm scared of what's happening.' Zechs swallowed. 'You told me it's scaring you. Well, that's how I feel too. And I don't see how this can ever work. Even if you do stay in this country for a year, you have a life to go back to; a career; everything. I can't expect you to give any of those things up. What I said about falling in love with you is true.' Wufei took his chin in both hands, giving him another of those long, soul-searching gazes. 'You make it terribly hard for me to be angry with you when you say things like that, you know.' 'Should I apologise for that?' Wufei shook his head, frowning. 'Not that. There are plenty of other things. You say you love me in one breath and the next you accuse me of toying with you and lying to you. How can you insult me like that if you really do have any sort of feelings for me?' 'I am truly sorry.' Zechs spoke into the empty echoing chasm that had sprung into existence between them. They were only a few inches apart, Wufei on the arm of his chair. If he didn't manage to find the right words, this time, he'd probably get up and walk away and that would be the end of it all. 'I was scared and hurt and I reacted very badly. Don't you see, it's all my fault. It's nothing to do with you. I'm the one who's totally at fault. Yes, I know that I should have talked to you first, and I probably shouldn't have listened to Quatre, but it's rather difficult to act rationally when emotions are so much involved.' Another dismissive little sniff; still, at least he hadn't stormed out. 'That sounds very uncomfortable.' Wufei's beautiful mouth settled into a prim, disapproving line, and despite everything, Zechs had to laugh. 'It is actually.' He reached up one hand to tuck a stray lock of raven-dark hair behind Wufei's right ear. 'Very uncomfortable. Haven't you ever felt like that?' He blushed, tossing his head so all that glorious hair tumbled over his face. 'Yes. With you. As you very well know. I wouldn't be here now if I didn't. I'd be at Quatre's house, doing something productive with my time.' He was smiling; well, almost smiling. There was a definite tilt to the left side of his mouth. 'Ah. I see. Time spent with me is a waste, is that it?' 'It is when you make those sorts of baseless accusations. That is wasting time. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me.' 'It isn't that. It was never that.' Blue eyes met black, desperately trying to convince. 'It was about me being an insecure idiot, and terrified of getting hurt, and of losing you when I've only just found you. Wufei, I can spend the rest of the night apologising to you, but that wouldn't really accomplish anything, would it? How can I make this better?' Wufei gave him of those long, coolly evaluating looks. 'I simply cannot believe that anyone who looks like you can be remotely insecure. I should be the one with that particular problem.' 'As Duo would say, "right back atcha". I thought he'd been teaching you how to accept a compliment without blushing. He hasn't quite managed it, has he?' 'Not when you're looking at me like that,' Wufei whispered. 'Now, listen to me.' He stood abruptly, shaking his hair back and Zechs had a sudden image of him lecturing to a class, demanding every student's total attention. 'There are things we need to discuss. If anything is ever to happen between us, we need to trust each other, don't you think? No more listening to rumours and speculation by other people. Agreed?' 'Agreed,' Zechs nodded meekly. Gods, he was magnificent when he decided to be all dominant and masterful. With any luck, he'd be exactly like that in the bedroom. 'Good.' One slim, golden finger flicked Zechs' cheek. 'Now, before all of this, you wanted to ask me a question.' 'So I did.' Zechs looked down at his hands, very demure and proper. 'Is that permitted, my all-conquering pirate?' Wufei looked confused for a second and then laughed, playing along. 'What did you want to ask, my beautiful captive Prince?' Oh, now there was an intriguing thought…being his captive. 'I did wonder what your intentions toward me are. Beyond being ravished at your convenience obviously.' 'Oh, well, obviously.' He flopped down onto Zechs' lap, winding both arms around his waist. 'I don't know. You said earlier that we should allow this - thing - between us to develop and that sounds like a good idea. After that, if we are still serious about one another, then we will find a way to be together. Isn't that what you wanted?' 'Of course it is,' Zechs said softly. 'You make it sound so very simple, but it won't be really, will it?' 'Nothing worthwhile is ever simple. We can make it work it we truly want to. I can extend my sabbatical or concentrate on writing full time or you could perhaps think about extending your business to another country. We don't need to decide any of that now. We've wasted more than enough time when we could have been ravishing each other.' 'We have time.' Zechs whispered it. 'We don't need to rush any of this.' 'Speak for yourself,' Wufei said tartly. 'Where's your
bedroom?'
~ * ~ |
