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"SHADOWS AND LIGHT: AN UNBREAKABLE BOND" Written By: Stone Angel
Please see Prologue for disclaimer, ratings and explanations. ^_^ AN: I hate this chapter. Ooh I hate
it. Writing this chapter actually made me physically ill. I wasn’t
even sure if I could do it. I can’t express how much I hate this
part. You’ll know what part I mean when you get there. Just know
that it is necessary for the ending on too many levels for me to like.
I hope I don't piss off anyone besides myself
with this.
SHADOWS AND LIGHT: AN UNBREAKABLE BOND: His shift complete, Heero stepped out of the store to
find Duo gone. 'Hn. I'll go back to his place. He taught me how to
use Ki, but now he has to teach me technique. This should be fun.'
He got on his bike and pulled out of the parking lot, heading quickly
to the freeway. After a short ride, Heero came upon his lover's house,
shutting off his bike and running to the door. The door opened before
he could even knock to reveal a grinning Duo. "So. How was work?" Heero chuckled and stepped into the house, closing the
door behind him and circling his arms about Duo when he did the same.
"You're something else, ya know?" Duo grinned wider. "Yep. I know." Heero caught a brief flash of pain on his lover's features
before it was covered with the same cocky grin. "Doshda?" Duo looked down. "I told you that stuff gives me
a headache. It's better now. It just needs time." Duo held him back and rested his head on his shoulder. Heero chuckled. "Did you know how much you look
like a girl?" The reaction Heero got from those ten simple words was
not at all what he expected. Duo froze in his arms and began to tremble. "Duo? Duo! What's wrong?" * Duo shook as buried memories of his father played through
his mind, taking him away from reality even as he kicked and screamed
to stay. 'NOOO!!!' /"Little.... You look so much like a girl.... So
much like your mother..."/ Duo screamed within his mind, desperately trying to
escape the memory of his father looming over him. "HANASE!!!!!!!!!!!
PAPA!!! HANAASSEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" "DUO!!!! DUO!!!!!!! DDUUUUOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" '...Wait... ....Papa doesn't know my name...' Duo opened
his eyes to look up and see Heero gripping him tightly by the shoulders
at arm's length, desperately looking into his eyes. "Duo?" Duo felt the tears pour and flew into Heero's arms,
sobbing uncontrollably as he slid to the floor, Heero moving with
him to cradle him in his arms. "I... Heero... Don't leave. Don't
let me go." He begged. Heero's grip tightened on him. "Ok. I'm not letting
go, Duo. Sshhh. Don't cry." Duo nodded though his sobs became harsher, making his
chest hurt. "Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry. Boys don't cry! Boys don't cry!" * Heero was at a loss. 'What the hell happened?' He felt
the pain coming off him and listened to Duo's mantra, trying to understand.
'..."Boys don't cry."? What does he mean?' Heero brushed
Duo's mind, attempting to make sense of what was going through his
lover's head. When his mind touched that of his lover's, he was shocked
into silence. The images that assaulted him were of Duo as a young
child fighting his father in a futile attempt to free himself as he
was pinned. Heero remembered Duo's nightmare in his bed. He looked
back at Duo, shifting on the bed and shaking it slightly. Duo immediately scowled in his sleep and moved his hands
to protect himself from an imagined foe. "Papa. No." Heero felt his blood run cold, understanding flooding his being. He shook himself out of his stupor to try to break Duo out of his memories. "Duo! Snap out of it!" Holding his lover away from himself, Heero slapped Duo across the face. Relief filled his soul as Duo looked
up at him. He was not surprised when he saw terror in those violet
eyes. Trembling, Duo choked on a sob. "I'm not a girl." He said brokenly, as if afraid Heero might not believe him. "I'm not my mother." Heero held him tightly. "I know, Duo. I know." Duo buried his head in Heero's shoulder. "I'm not
a girl. I'm not my mother. I'm a boy. Boy's don't cry. Boys don't
cry." His sobs became more violent. Heero held him tightly to himself, unsure if touching
him any other way would trigger another negative response. "Duo-kun.
You can cry. It's Ok. I'm here." Duo sobbed into his shoulder for long moments, drenching
Heero's shirt with tears. At last he choked out some words. "Go-gomen
nasai. Sumimasen." Heero shook his head and kissed Duo's hair. "Please,
Duo-kun, don't apologize. Are you Ok now?" Duo nodded, though his sobs continued. "H-hai.
I...I had forgotten... I'm sorry, Hee-kun." "Shhh. It's Ok. What happened?" Heero rubbed
his back. Duo shook his head. "You... I'd forgotten and then...
What you said... It brought it back... Gomen nasai." Glad that Duo was not shying from his touch, Heero
rubbed his back in small light circles. 'I triggered repressed memories.
Kuso. His father... He did more than beat him... This all explains
so much. Why he blames himself for everything. Why he startles so
easily. Why he hates confrontation.' "Duo, it's Ok. Do you want
to talk about it?" Duo shook his head vehemently as he trembled. "Iye.
Onegai, Heero. I don't want to talk about it. Ever. Please. No. Please?"
His tone was pleading. "Ok, Ok. I won't make you." Heero kissed his
hair. "But if you change your mind, I'm here. Ok?" Duo nodded and circled shaking arms about Heero as his
sobs continued. "I'm sorry, Hee-kun. I'm so bad when I have a
headache. I'm sorry." Heero recalled Duo becoming submissively limp and unresponsive
beneath him when he had fallen atop him upon their entrance to his
apartment the night they met. 'These headaches... He reverts to his
past life.' Heero held him tightly. "It's Ok, Duo. It's just
tears. Everyone needs to cry sometimes. It's alright." After a few moments, Duo's sobs died down to merely
choked hiccups. He moved away from Heero, still holding him tightly
but not meeting his eyes. Heero stroked his hair, waiting for Duo to speak or
even look up at him. Duo wiped away the last few tears and scooted away from
him, sitting in a ball on the floor and not looking up, hugging his
arms about himself in a protective way. "Gomen nasai." Heero shook his head and reached out to lift Duo's chin
but stopped when Duo shrank away from him. "Ok." He dropped
his arm to his side. "Duo-kun..." Duo looked up at him for long moments, his eyes lost
and empty, his look easily recognized as emotionally drained. "Hee-kun..." "Duo." Heero looked deeply into his eyes,
trying to put forth the concern he held for the matter. "Are
you sure you..." Duo shook his head, looking down again. "Heero...
I can't tell you... Some...things...are better left in the past. I'll
get over this. It's just another hurtle to jump." Heero waited for a moment before speaking. "I saw
it, Duo. I know." Duo's eyes widened as his skin became pale with panic
as he gazed at him. "Na...nani?" He whispered. "How... Could... You...?" "Duo, you were scaring me. I wanted to know what
was happening. If I could help." He defended. Duo looked down. "Don't. Please don't do that.
Heero... I let you tell me yourself when it comes to things like this.
Don't look into my mind again. Onegai?" Heero nodded but spoke. "Ok. But let me ask you
this: Would you have ever told me?" Duo looked hurt. "Hee-kun... Please... That's not
fair." Heero stood as well, slowly so as not to startle his
lover. "Duo. I told you about my scars. You talked about trusting
me last night. And you did. With your body. You can trust me with
your heart as well. I know you're not used to trusting. But this is
me. Please, Duo. Onegai." Duo looked down, his bangs obscuring his eyes in shadow.
In a whispered tone he spoke. "It doesn't matter. You know now.
What's there to talk about?" Heero was saddened by his lover's resignation. "You
didn't remember any of it?" Duo glanced up before looking down again. "I...
I always suspected. I just never had any memories of... I guess I
repressed them. I... Please, Hee-kun? Don't...?" Heero stepped forward slowly and embraced his lover
when he didn't move away. "I understand, Duo. You don't have
to say anything. Just let me be with you. Don't push me away? I think
that would be a mistake for us both. Ne?" Duo nodded and allowed himself to be held. "Yosha." Heero held him tightly, his grip firm but gentle, letting
Duo know that he was there for him. "Ai shite ieru, Duo-kun." Duo rested his head on his shoulder and Heero felt the
tears anew. 'Duo-kun. I'll always be here for you.' * * * Heero watched as Duo slept, small, nearly inaudible
snores escaping him. Duo's arms were wrapped around himself, his body semi
curled into a fetal position, a small scowl upon his brow. Heero held him close to himself, as if afraid that if
he let him go he would be taken away by his past. 'We’ve both
revealed our scars. Even though he did it unintentionally. It doesn't
matter. It happened.' Heero pressed soft kisses in Duo's hair, reassuring
him in his sleep that he was there. After a few hours of peace, Duo awoke with a yelp, sitting
up and looking around. Seeing Heero, he relaxed and lay back down,
wrapping his arms around Heero's shoulders. "Ohaiyo." Heero smiled and didn't press his lover to talk about
the obvious nightmare. "Ah. You want some coffee?" "Saturday." Heero ran a hand through Duo's
bangs. Duo grinned for real. "No school?" Heero grinned as well. "Nope. I have the whole
day off." Duo smirked, a sexy look in his eyes. "What are
we going to do about that?" 'Isn't it too soon?' Heero wondered as Duo kissed him,
a soft, almost innocent kiss before he deepened it. 'I guess he needs
this. He wants to get over it and show me that he can.' "Duo-kun,
we don't have to." "Hee-kun." Duo scolded. "Shut up and
kiss me." Heero smiled and did just that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But everyone listen up. If you know someone who is in
a situation like this, for the love of everything holy, DO SOMETHING!!!
Kids can’t fight for themselves! And you’re no better than
the one who hurts them if you do nothing. This kind of thing fucks
with people for the rest of their lives and NOTHING is ever the same
no matter WHAT! Don’t stand by and let it happen. Please. Ok. I’m done ranting. Sorry. Back to
Stone Angel Fics |
