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"I'm Just a Kid" Written By: Stone Angel Disclaimer: Oh, please. Do you honestly think
I'm making money off this? If I was, I'd be writing a whole lot more
and it wouldn't take getting drunk to do it. I don't own the characters
or the show, if I did, it would be SOOO different. Screw the war,
let's see how we can get Heero and Duo in a locked room after taking
away their clothes. (wolfish grin) I just like to make the creators
cry with the way I write their characters. ^____^ Mission accomplished.
hehehe Rating: R Warnings: Shonen ai, sap, fluff(I think. ~_~'),
teen angst(not TEENY angst, TEEN) WILD OOC FOR BOTH, AU, Pairings: 1+2 Authors Notes: Song By: A Simple Plan on their CD: "No Pads, No Helmets,
Just Balls..." . It is Track 4. If you have it, I recommend listening
to it as you read. ~Text~ = song lyrics.
I'm Just a Kid: Part 1 The street was utterly deserted as it was every night. A few ramblers were out but aside from them, he was alone. Duo walked away from the city and towards his "neighborhood". He didn't classify the slum in which he lived as such. For something to be a neighborhood, there had to be neighbors. All the people that lived near his house, merely squatted, they didn't reside there, therefore they were not neighbors. All it was was a collection of shoddy housing and drug addicts or drunks. His "family" was no exception to the rule. ~I woke up. It was Seven. As he came upon the old, run down house with peeling paint and rotting wood to match that of the other houses near his, he sighed and considered just not going in. He had left to go for a walk as he did every night. And every night, he contemplated whether he should return at all. It's not like it was a home. It was a house. There were people aside himself that lived there that he had to by law consider kin, but... That didn't constitute a home. After a moment, he sighed and went in, as he did every night. It's not like if he didn't he would have anywhere else to go. He was all of Sixteen. He was in high school, had no job, thus no money. Trying to get a job was harder than it seemed as every place to which he went wanted someone "experienced". Basically, they wanted someone older. "The new kid" at his school, though he had been there a year, he had no friends, no allies, not even a friendly acquaintance outside the stern librarian that let him stay in the library until she got off of work. Out of kindness. Out of pity. Did it matter? ~I think I've got a lot of friends, Back home... Back home, he had had a lot of friends. Wufei, Quatre, Trowa, they had all been so close... They had cried when Duo's mom had decided that they had to move to another city. She hadn't even told him until a month prior. When she had, he had run to Quatre to tell him and they had cried and cried. He and Quatre had known each other for six years and were the brothers they had never had. Quatre had nine sisters, so he always wanted a brother. Duo only had his mother and father who was out of the picture by the point Duo and his mother had moved, Neither were very kind to him. So he wanted a family member that would treat him as such. But that was a year ago. And he hadn't heard from Quatre, Trowa, or Wufei in half that time. Like they had forgotten all about him or something. He slowly opened the creaking door and tiptoed in, closing it softly behind him. Jim, his mother's current bed partner and fellow drunk, was sprawled on the floor, cradling an empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his sleep as if it were an infant. Through the doorway to their room, he saw his mother passed out on the floor, leaned on the bed and her head resting on the mattress. Biting back his tears, he walked quietly to his room to get away from them. He was a silent as possible, not wanting to risk awaking Jim and getting him into a rage. He was strong, and he knew how to handle himself, but there was no way he would be able to defend himself from Jim when he was mad for whatever reason. He knew that from experience. It hadn't always been like this. And he couldn't stand to be around them anymore. It wasn't like they said more than a word or two to him when they were awake. So, between school and home, he didn't talk much to anybody. He liked being alone. It didn't matter. Even when he was with people, he was alone. ~What's another night all alone, He went down the shag carpet hallway to the closet-sized room he called a bedroom and stripped off his clothes. Standing in front of the mirror, he examined himself. His braid, his one prized possession, the one thing no one could take from him, hung nearly to his butt. His skin was covered in tiny scars from the blades he stole from Jim's razors. He kept them under his mattress and when things got too bad, he carved a little. It was calming for some reason. He made sure now to only do it in places where no one would see. He once did one on the back of his hand and someone at school saw it and now people looked at him even funnier than they had before. He couldn't walk down the hall without hearing someone whisper "cutter" behind his back. They didn't understand, he needed it to keep him in check. His situation was horrible. If he didn't cut, he'd die. As it was, he bled to know he was alive at all. With life the way it was, how else was he to know? ~I'm just a kid, And what the hell did they care anyway? They weren't his friends. He didn't have any friends anymore. He used to want his old friends back, used to cry himself to sleep every night, thinking of the times they had shared. And then, after he hadn't heard from them for a while, he had thought of making new friends. But no one in school would talk to him. They skirted around him like he was diseased or something, not even giving him the time of day. ~Nobody cares `cuz I'm alone. At least he wasn't bullied. The first guy who tried got his ass kicked in front of everyone and no one had tried it since. Duo knew how to fight, thanks to his biological father. It was the only thing he ever learned from the bastard: Self-defense. Sighing, he took the razor from beneath his mattress and eyed it for a moment before putting it away. No, he had done that last night. And while it was all good and well that he knew that he was alive, he wouldn't be alive if he bled to death. `Will there really be that much of a difference? The world will keep spinning, my hair and nails will continue to grow, what would change? But even so, I think I just need to sleep.' He knew he was kidding himself. He never slept for very long. His mind never shut off long enough for him to get some true rest. But even so, a bed, albeit broken and worn out, was a welcome part of every night. ~And maybe when the night is dead, He stared at the ceiling with water spots on it for a moment, his imagination forming the abstract shapes into familiar objects. There was one spot that looked strikingly like an angel, complete with a line over the head like a halo. Duo had once believed in angels. But as the year wore on, and no prayers of his were answered, he gave up on the childish idea. Angels did not exist. At least not in this world. A few of the water spots also looked like familiar faces. Not wishing to see things that did not exist or familiar faces, he turned to face the wall away from the door. He heard Jim shuffle into his mother's room and then a few murmurs from both Jim and his mother. After a few moments, the bed in the other room began to creak and he covered his head with his pillow as he continued to stare at the wall. He hated it when they were so drunk, they forgot to close their door before doing that. The sound was just loud enough that he could barely hear it, so he let his mind wander. He remembered Quatre and Trowa and Wufei and the times they had played and joked with each other. It seemed so far away now. Before he had moved, they had all had a farewell party. Just playing around and joking. They had agreed that whoever fell asleep first, would have a prank played on them. Unfortunately for Wufei, he always went to bed early, so he was the first to fall asleep. They had sprayed some of Quatre's father's shaving cream in his hand as he slept and then tickled his face with a feather. Wufei had smacked away the feather in his sleep and had woken up with dried shaving cream covering his face. The look he gave them promised a painful death, but the laughs they had had later were worth it. That was a long time ago. He wished he could go back, but he couldn't. He just wanted to have more memories like that. He wanted friends again. ~I'll try to think about the last time, Duo cursed as he felt tears fall from his eyes to the mattress beneath his head and squeezed his eyes closed to fight them, but, as always, it was futile. So, with a pained yowl that one else heard, he gave in, and cried himself to a fitful sleep. * * * The next day, Duo sat down at lunch in the cafeteria at his high school, alone as usual. He had the whole table to himself. As usual. He didn't meet eyes with anyone, why should he? Eye contact was for talking with people. He didn't talk to people so why should he look at anyone? ~I'm just a kid, He took a bite of the slop on his tray and made a face to himself as he choked it down. `How can they get away with calling this food? I know food. Food is edible. This is just...something else NOT edible.' He was grumbling to himself about the shit on the styrofoam when, by chance, he looked up and saw a kid he had never seen before at a table somewhere near his own. ...And his heart nearly stopped. He had wild, dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. He must have been a junior, he seemed a bit too mature for a Freshmen or Sophomore. He wore spandex, which made Duo raise a brow, and a green tank-top that showed a lightly muscled chest and arms. ~Nobody cares `cuz I'm alone. `STOP STARING!!!' Duo suddenly realized that hadn't taken his eyes off the boy for a good ten seconds. He had always liked boys better than girls, but with the world the way it was, aside from his closest friends back home, he never told anyone, thus never had a relationship of that nature. He had never gotten a chance, nor an interest in anyone in particular. But this creature sitting casually at the table across from his own and chatting with a few Seniors... Duo checked his urge to drool. Just as he was tearing his eyes away from the beautiful boy, the other caught his eyes and held them. Duo felt a smile just form on his lips when the boy's friends saw that they were looking at each other and one of them said in a low voice: "That guy's really weird." And the smile that was just forming for the first time in nearly a year died and vanished as if it had never been. ~What the hell is wrong with me? `Great. Just great. I haven't even spoken a word to him yet, and he already thinks I'm weird.' Having no appetite left, Duo picked up his tray and walked to the trash, chucking it and walking outside to his locker as tears that he refused to let fall formed in his eyes. ~Wide awake, I'm bored and I can't fall asleep, * * * Leaving his last class, Duo headed down the deserted hallway back to his locker to exchange his books for the ones he needed for his homework in the library. No one could be seen, as if they knew he was coming and had all scurried away like rats from a flashlight. `Che. Fitting analogy, Duo. I was hoping we wouldn't be comparing people to rodents for at least a FEW years more.' He got out his new books and then closed his locker, turning to go. He was stopped as his eyes fell on the boy with deep blue eyes and wild hair standing there, leaning on the opposite lockers. Duo stared at him for a moment, glaring slightly. The new guy might want to see if he could take him, and Duo intended to let him know that he had no hang- ups punching his face in, no matter how beautiful. ~I'm just a kid, The boy merely smirked at him. "What's your name?" Confused, Duo looked behind him for someone else the boy could be talking to, but a chuckle from said boy returned his attention to the fore. "I was talking to YOU." Duo raised a brow at that. "Hn. You MUST be new. Otherwise, you'd know that you shouldn't be talking to me. You might become an outcast. I'm weird." He said bitterly. The boy pushed himself away from the locker and walked towards him until there was only a foot of space between them. "*I* don't think you're weird." ~I'm just a kid, Duo merely stared at him for a moment and then jumped as an announcement came over the loud P.A. overhead. He opened his mouth to say something to the other boy and found it covered with the other boy's lips. His eyes widened in shock, but he couldn't deny that he liked it. He moaned slightly and his eyes closed. They stayed locked that way for some time before the other boy pulled back and smiled. "My name is Heero Yuy." Duo worked his jaw a few times before he managed to get himself to speak, although the sheer brilliance of what he said next made him wish he hadn't. "Uhhhh. Nice to meet you." Heero smirked. "Uhm. You, uh, kissed me?" Duo's mind was still stalled, reeling from the unexpected but very pleasant kiss. He tried to get his mind back into some semblance of order, but found it impossible. Heero's smirk got slightly larger and he took his hand. "I like you." "....Oh." He replied intelligently. When he realized that Heero was tense and waiting for him to say something, he smacked himself for acting stupid. "I like you, too." He said and watched the tension leave Heero's body as he was reassured that he hadn't gone too far. Heero grinned at him in obvious relief. "Would you go out with me?" In a daze, Duo nodded. "Would I? Uhm... You wanna get a soda?" Heero smiled brightly. "We have soda's at my house. Wanna have dinner with me and the fam?" Duo gaped. "You just met me, and you're inviting me to your house? For dinner? With your family?" Heero shrugged. "Why not?" Duo processed the question. "Good point. Let's go." He squeezed Heero's hand slightly and they headed to Heero's car, an old `64, yellow Mustang with a license plate that said "Wing". `Huh. Maybe he's as weird as me. This might just work.' But even so, he couldn't help but wonder if there really were angels in the world. ~Nobody cares, `cuz I'm alone in the world and * * * Well, dinner had been a three-course meal Heero's mother had served up and was more food than Duo had had in the last three days combined. The entire evening had gone phenomenally well and Duo was shocked when Heero's mother had asked how long they had been seeing each other. Right in the middle of a drink of water, he had choked and nearly spit it out all over the table, but had manage to keep himself from doing so with sheer willpower alone. "E-excuse me?" She had smiled and Heero had spoken with a smirk. "My parents already know I'm gay, Duo." His father had smiled at Duo's wide eyes. "Whatever makes our son happy makes us happy." He had said as he took his wife's hand. ~I'm just a kid,~ Recalling the night, Duo felt himself smile and felt Heero take his hand in his as he drove him towards his house. "You should smile more often. You are even more beautiful when you do." Blushing at that comment, Duo gave a grin that he had not shown anyone since Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Heero grinned back and pulled over in front of Duo's "home". This is the address, ne?" He eyed the house, if it could be called such. ~And life is a nightmare.~ Duo nodded, his grin gone at being returned to such a dreadful place. "Yeah." He looked to the house and then back to Heero, wanting not to leave. Heero smiled and leaned forward, kissing him softly. Duo moaned into the kiss and Heero took the opportunity to trace his lower lip with his tongue and then slip it into his mouth. Moaning again, Duo brought up an arm to drape it around the back of Heero's neck and his sleeve fell back a little and Heero abruptly ended the kiss, staring at a spot on his arm. Duo suddenly realized his mistake and took his arm away, pushing the fabric back over it to hide a few scars as he sat back in his seat. "Duo. What was that?" "Um..." If there was one thing Duo didn't do, it was lie. But that didn't mean he had to answer every question thrown his way. "Is that... Did you cut yourself?" ~I'm just a kid,~ Duo shrugged as he gazed intently at the carpet of the car. "It doesn't matter. Everyone else hurts me one way or another. Why shouldn't I be allowed to do it myself?" Heero took his hand and gently pulled his arm towards himself, rolling the sleeve back slowly. He gazed at each scar and recent mark and then met Duo's eyes and cupped his cheek with his other hand. "Well, *I* won't hurt you. Promise me that you won't do this to yourself anymore." Heero's eyes were pleading. The look in those deep blue eyes made Duo's breath hitch in his throat and he nodded without a thought. "I promise." ~And I know that it's not fair.~ Heero nodded and pulled him into an embrace, ghosting kisses over his hair and brow. "I'll see you tomorrow, Baby." Duo smiled in the embrace, feeling loved for the first time in a long time. "Hai." He moved back and gave Heero a chaste kiss before getting out of the car with his backpack and smiling as Heero drove off to the good neighborhood, waving to him out the window. He turned to his own house and his smile dropped. "Well. I had to come back sometime. Dammit." He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed into the house. ~Nobody cares, `cuz I'm alone and the world is~ He stealthily opened the door and creeped inside only to be confronted with Jim who was obviously drunk for two reasons, being, he was swaying slightly, and he never did anything else if he could help it. "Where the hell have you been?" Asked the drunken man in slurred speech. "I-I was with a friend." Duo stuttered. He glanced to his side to see his mom asleep on the floor in the small living room. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, boy!" Duo's head snapped back to Jim immediately. "I asked you a question, goddamnit!" "And I answered." Duo said reasonably. He was suddenly grabbed by a hand and pulled up to be eye level with Jim, his bag dropping to the floor. He turned his head to the side and made a face as the scent of whisky assaulted his nose. `Oh, Mom, please wake up and stop this.' But he knew his mother would not awake. This happened often enough that he knew it. ~Nobody wants to be alone in the world.~ "You getting smart with me?" "No, Sir." Duo said as respectably as possible. Jim studied him for a moment before throwing him back against the door roughly. The sound of cracking wood met Duo's ears a second before the pain hit him and he winced. `I'm gonna have a big bruise tomorrow.' He thought as things seemed to move around him a little. "Go to fucking bed, Boy! Stop coming in at all hours and waking me and your mother up!" He grumbled and cursed as he walked into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. Duo stayed perfectly still as he waited for the world to stop spinning and for Jim to fall asleep so he could move without drawing more attention to himself. At last, the telltale snores came from the bedroom and Duo got up and bolted from the house, running as quickly as he could towards Heero's neighborhood. He didn't know why. He simply couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Anywhere he'd rather be. And he suddenly realized why that was. ~Nobody cares, `cuz I'm alone and the world is Tonight~ At last he reached the house and stopped to catch his breath. His knees were shaking, his back ached and his head hurt. He fell to his knees and took in great breaths and did his best to keep from crying, but couldn't help it. He sobbed quietly for a moment before someone spoke from the house. "Duo?" Duo looked up and saw Heero standing on the porch. As soon as he met eyes with him, however, Heero ran off the deck and to him. "Duo? Are you Ok? Duo, what's wrong?" Duo shook his head. "I'm sorry, Heero. I shouldn't be here. I'll go." He got up on trembling legs and made to leave but stopped when Heero spoke. "You're shaking. Did you run the whole way here?" He placed a hand on Duo's back but quickly removed it when he winced. "Come on." He draped Duo's arm over his shoulders and led him into the house. "Mom and Dad are asleep." He said as he put Duo into a chair in front of the table and got a damp paper towel. Coming back to the table, he gently wiped the sweat and tears away from Duo's face. "What happened?" Duo smiled, even as he shed new tears. "I think I love you." Heero blinked. Then smiled. "I think I love you, too, Duo. But what happened?" Duo shrugged meekly. "Jim was mad at me for waking him up when I came in, so he threw me against the door." Heero seemed shocked at that before he shook his head. "Take off your shirt." Duo gasped. "What?" "Let me see you back. You winced earlier when I touched it. Now I know why. Let me see." Duo hesitated for a moment before deciding that it was alright, Heero already knew he cut. Standing away from the table, he took off his shirt and gazed at the floor. Heero moved to examine his back. After a moment of silence, Duo was getting nervous but then he felt Heero kiss the bruise tenderly and the tension seeped from his body. "You can spend the night here. Ok?" Duo nodded and gave a small whimper as Heero kissed his back again. ~I'm all alone tonight.~ "Ok." He felt Heero take his hand and pull him gently towards the stairs. They crept into his bedroom and Heero closed the door before hugging Duo carefully. "I was just going to bed when I heard you outside." Duo nodded. "You take the bed, I don't mind sleeping on the floor." Heero pulled back. "I was thinking we could share the bed. If that's alright with you." Duo stared into his eyes for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. I mean, yes, that's fine." Heero smiled and kissed his hair before turning to his dresser and pulling out a set of pajamas and handing them to Duo before taking out another pair. Duo blushed when he realized that there was nowhere to change. "I'll keep my back turned if you keeps yours." Heero said as if he had read his mind. Duo smiled wryly. "Sure. I mean, you know, first day together and all, I think getting naked is a bit too fast." Heero chuckled and turned his back, undoing his clothes, and Duo did the same before he saw something that would keep him from sleeping. He quickly removed his damp clothing and changed into the pajamas as well. "I'm done. You?" "Yeah." Duo turned around and smiled at the cute picture Heero presented in a set of pajamas. "You look cute like that." He said with a smile. Heero smirked. "I was just thinking the same thing about you." He took his hand. "Now, at the risk of sounding horny, sleep with me?" Duo blushed even as he giggled. After turning off the light so the only illumination in the room came from the dim moonlight that filtered in through the window, Heero got into the far side of the bed and held back the covers for Duo to get in. After a second's hesitation, Duo followed him in and lay on the opposite side of the bed from Heero, facing the other way. He felt the blankets be draped over him and after a moment of silence, heard Heero whisper softly. "Can I hold you?" Smiling and holding back tears of joy, Duo turned over and cuddled against Heero, loving the way they fit together when Heero put his arms around him and rested his head over his own. ~Nobody cares tonight.~ "Hey, Heero?" He whispered to the near darkness. "Mm-hmm?" "I don't want to sound insane or anything, but are you an angel?" Heero gave a small laugh. "Why do you ask that?" He shrugged. "Well, I mean, you're pretty much the only person that's been genuinely nice to me for about a year. I was starting to think I'd never have a friend again, much less..." He blushed as he thought of a few words to describe Heero, boyfriend, partner, lover... Heero gave another small laugh. "Well, if that makes me an angel, then I am yours." He kissed Duo's hair. Duo smiled and wrapped his arms around Heero. "Cool." He gave Heero a quick kiss before settling himself back to how he was. "Goodnight, Love." Heero whispered into his hair. "Goodnight." Duo returned. Quickly he found himself falling asleep and it only served to reaffirm that he did love Heero, insane as it was to love a boy he had just met. But it was true. Suddenly, with Heero, everything felt like it was going to be alright. And he wouldn't change it for the world. ~I'm just a kid tonight…~ ***************** Fuuuuuck. I just realized a growing trend in my fics. ASIDE that they suck. No there is definitely a theme going on. And what's more is that the next ones I have planned are the same way. Dammit! I have to figure something out or this is gonna get painful real fast. Well, I hope you liked it. ^_^' Ja, Mina! ^______^ ~Leia Random Quote of the Day:
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