"Ray of Hope "

Written By: SkyLark

Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply here

Creative assistance from Sunhawk

Warnings: AU, language and possible citrus.

Rating: NC 17

Pairings: Eventual 1x2, 5xS, references to past pairings that are a surprise.

Beta Writing By: Deb

" Ray of Hope "

[I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life]
-Lyrics to `Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me' performed by Elton John

The music from the band at the center of the gazebo faded into the background for Heero as his lover's arms fell limply to his sides. His violet eyes were still wide with shock and fear at hearing the name uttered by the sailor after their kiss. Slowly shaking his head and blinking his own wide eye, the Japanese youth breathed, "Duo… I…"

"Dorothy?" the lighthouse keeper whispered brokenly. With small tears pooling his gaze, he let out a small whimper and
whispered, "Oh God, there is someone else." Quickly, he turned and walked past the couples still dancing around them as he made his way through the large entrance of the dance floor.

Running after him, Heero cried, "Duo! Wait!" Several people stopped to watch the sailor as he ran after his fleeing partner. Sally,
Wufei, Quatre, Catherine, Trowa and Hilde were all dancing close to the pair at the interruption. With concern in their eyes, they
quickly followed their friends out into the streets.

Duo wiped at his eyes as he walked quickly down the empty blocks. Satisfied that they were alone, he turned on his heels to face the sailor running up towards him. As he slowed before him, Heero bent forward to catch his breath and panted heavily, "Duo?"

Under the light of a street lamp, the braided lighthouse keeper swallowed roughly past the lump blocking his voice. "I'm sorry,
Heero," he managed in little more than a whisper. He cleared his throat and stated a bit more clearly, "Sally told me that there was a chance you would regain your memories. It was the reason I tried to keep from falling for you in case there was someone else waiting, hoping for you to return home to them-" His voice broke off with a sharp sob and he looked away.

Biting his lip to keep from tearing up at the sight of his distraught lover, Heero ran a hand through his unruly hair. The guilt of his secrets gripped him, threatened to break him apart. With a deep breath, he looked to the braided youth and told him
softly, "I never wanted you to find out this way."

At that, Duo's head turned in a quick snap to meet the regretful cobalt gaze watching him. His violet eyes wide with shock that
quickly turned to realization and melted into harnessed rage. With a warning glare, he growled deeply, "Find out this way? So you started remembering your past before tonight and you never told me?"

Heero's mouth opened and closed in a vain hope that he could find the right words to say at that moment. Instead of his own voice speaking up, someone behind him stated quietly, "He didn't know what to make of the visions, Duo."

Turning back, the pair watched in surprise as Sally and Wufei walked quickly towards them. The braided doctor met the stunned gaze of her ex-boyfriend with eyes that shimmered under the full moonlight as she approached. Equally shocked, Heero remained still as the young woman stood beside him with a defiant _expression on her face despite the tears that threatened to fall.

"Y-You knew, Sal?" was all that the lighthouse keeper could manage.

With a firm nod, she replied, "He mentioned to me that he had seen images of a girl that seemed familiar to him. Because he wasn't sure how he knew her or how they were linked in his past, he did not want to tell you until he knew for himself."

Throwing his arms in the air, Duo laughed bitterly, "Well, considering he remembered her name after we kissed, I guess that we
pretty much cleared their connection up, haven't we!?" He focused his anger back on his lover and demanded, "Anything else that you came to recall that you're not telling me?"

His stomach in knots, Heero lowered his head and answered, "Just that my first name is Odin and apparently my boat was named the Seagull. All of my other flashes involve people that I can't see too clearly, or I hear voices that sound familiar."

Gently resting a hand on the Japanese teenager's shoulder, Sally frowned sadly to her braided friend, "Duo, I truly believe that
Heero had every intention of telling you. He swore as much to me."

Snorting at that, the lighthouse keeper rolled his eyes and remarked snidely, "That makes me feel so much better." He slowly walked up to his lover until they were inches apart with his eyes still narrowed. As he spoke, however, his glare faded and his eyed filled with loss as he questioned, "How am I supposed to trust you after all of this? What if you actually do remember this Dorothy and you're just not telling me?"

It took a couple swallows for Heero to rid his throat of the knot there before he could reply quietly, "You have every right to
question me, Duo. But I swear that I've told you everything I know right now. It's been killing me to talk to you about this before
now, but I just didn't know how."

Lightly glaring at her boyfriend standing at her other side, Sally told her friends, "Well, we all have done our fair share of keeping
things from each other. It's about time that we all came clean." Wufei paled and looked down to the street as if trying to mentally
form a hold there that he could crawl in. Elbowing him, the doctor growled, "Tell them."

As he reluctantly raised his head, the Chinese young man sighed deeply. Looking from one confused face to the other, Wufei
admitted, "I found Heero's medical records in Sally's office one afternoon and looked through it when I found the name Odin and used it to try to find him in the missing persons' reports."

Their eyes wide with disgust and fury, Heero and Duo shouted as one, "What!?"

Wincing, Wufei raised his hands and nodded, "I know. I know. I'm sorry." He focused his attention on the sailor and frowned, "It was before our talk after Septum's funeral when I was hell bent on finding out who the hell you were. The method I used was wrong and I'm terribly sorry." At the sincere apology, Heero's anger ebbed a bit. While he still did not look entirely thrilled, he did give the policeman a firm nod of appreciation.

After taking a deep breath, the raven-haired officer looked back between his two friends and sighed deeply, "I never actually read the file. But… not long ago, I received a call from a Dorothy Catalonia at the station after she was informed that there was a
search for any missing persons by the name of Odin. I told her that the Odin she was looking for did not fit the description of the
person we found here and that was the end of our communication."

His legs nearly giving out, Duo whimpered while an equally stunned Heero stiffened. "We were able to find out who you are and where you're from," Wufei finally stated, his eyes locked with the wide cobalt watching him. "You're the son of Senator Odin Lowe Senior, a candidate for the next Presidential election in the States." His frown drew deeper as he announced quietly, "And apparently, this Dorothy Catalonia was your fiancée that you were to marry soon after you disappeared."

In hearing his worst fears confirmed, Duo bit back a sharp sob and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist while fighting off the
wave of nausea that overtook him. Blindly reaching, he found the lamppost beside him to support himself. His skin paling, Heero shook his head and whispered, "I-I don't remember. It's not bringing anything back." With his eyes thinning, he shouted in frustration from one face to the next, "That's not who I am anymore!"

"But it's who you were," the lighthouse keeper managed weakly as he continued to lean against the lamppost. Staring ahead with unfocused violet eyes, he said softly, "And nothing can change that."

Quickly closing the distance between them, Heero gently cupped his lover's face and gently turned his head until their eyes
locked. "You're my home now," he vowed brokenly as tears filled his cobalt eyes. "Whoever this Odin Lowe was, he's gone now. Even if my memory were to come back, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here with you."

With tears rolling down his face, Duo shook his head and whispered, "You don't know that. Dorothy obviously meant something
to you for you to be prepared to marry her. And she obviously loves you if she's still looking for you."

It was all too much for Heero-learning so much about who he was while trying to hold his new world together as it fell apart around him. A sharp sob choked out of him and he breathed, "But I need you."

Covering his face with his hands, Duo shook violently as he cried. Quickly wrapping his arms tightly around his lover, Heero kissed his head and gently rocked him. Sally bit her lip as she wiped at the tears running down her own face while Wufei rested a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Finally, Duo pulled back, sniffing, "I can't… I need time. This is all too much for one night to have to deal with like this." Pain-
filled and shimmering violet looked up to the face watching him and he frowned deeply, "I need to think this out. Between the secrets and now this news, I don't know what's harder to handle right now."

Quickly wiping at his own eyes, Heero nodded and replied gently, "Okay. I'll give you all the space that you need."

Squeezing the lighthouse keeper's hands in his own, the sailor told him, "But I swear to you that I didn't mean to hurt you." Duo
nodded, though it was one that was not all too convincing that he believed his words. His emotionally-drained gaze looked to a guilty looking Sally and Wufei as they silently pleaded their own forgiveness for their parts in the deception.

"There they are!" the familiar voice of a young woman called. The four joined in the middle of the street were quickly joined with the remainder of their `family' as they came out from all around. Panting heavily as she approached, Catherine looked to the red-eyed couple under the streetlight and frowned in concern, "Is everything all right?"

At that, Wufei raised a hand to the worried group gathered around. "Later," he told them simply. With a reassuring smile, he
suggested, "You all better head back to the square before the dance ends. We'll catch up in a little while." Slowly, Trowa, Hilde,
Quatre and Catherine filed back out and on their way down the block with concerned looks over their shoulders from time to time until they were out of sight.

Once they were alone once more, Sally offered to the couple, "Heero, you're more than welcome to stay in our spare room for a while, if you need some time. I'll ride with you to show you the way to our place."

Picking up on her cue, Wufei added to the lighthouse keeper, "And I can give you a ride home." Somewhat easing at the offer, Duo flashed the smallest of smiles in appreciation. He bit his lip and squeezed the hands holding his own before letting go.

Despite how it pained him to have to part with his braided partner, the Japanese sailor knew that staying with him was not the best of decisions. Straightening his sagging shoulders, Heero turned to the young couple and gave them a firm nod. With the doctor and officer in the lead, the small group walked down the streets to where their cars waited.

When they reached his car at last, Heero reached for Duo's hand just as he was about to walk past with Wufei. Freezing at the contact, the braided American turned his tired eyes to his partner. Nervously biting his lip, the sailor pulled him into a tight embrace and whispered into the lighthouse keeper's ear, "I love you."

Slowly easing in his arms, Duo hesitantly reached up to return the hug as he rested his forehead against a firm shoulder. "I love you, too," he finally muttered back. When they separated, he turned away without looking back as Wufei led him further down the street.

As he watched his lover walking off, the sailor wiped another stray tear that was rolling down his cheek. He knew that he would wait however long it took for Duo to forgive him and to trust that he had no intentions of leaving.

He would wait… even if it might kill him.

TBC

Chapter 31

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