"Through the Furnace,
Unshrinking"
Written By: June
Rating: Serious R for language, violence and sex
Warnings: this gets pretty dark in places, but
there's always hope.
Spoilers: none
Pairings: various
Disclaimer: Don't own much of anything, least
of all Gundam Wing and snazzy song lyrics by my favorite bands
Summary: In a city not known for its upstanding
moral character, the five G-boys -- all switchblade slinging hustlers
-- must become brothers in arms to make it out alive.
"Through the Furnace, Unshrinking"
Rooftop Interlude II.
22. Heero
/Look me in the eye
Then, tell me that I'm satisfied
Was you satisfied?
Look me in the eye
Then, tell me that I'm satisfied
Hey, are you satisfied?/
- "Unsatisfied" The Replacements
Wufei was taunting him, with that smirk and the relaxed, almost casual
way he fought. Wufei was watching and measuring... and taunting. Heero
kept his fists loose and ready, bouncing on the balls of his feet,
trying to measure in return, but wanting nothing more than to pin
that wiry body to the floor and declare his victory. Heero knew he'd
been edgy and impatient lately, and he couldn't seem to curb that.
This fight - along with the many which had preceded it over the last
weeks - was supposed to clear that up so he could get back to work
and wrap up the details of all the data he'd gathered over the past
few months. He'd hidden it in neat little packets all over the Internet,
as ads and spam emails and garbled error messages. The information
he had gathered was everywhere and only he knew how to assemble it
all to provide an accurate, crippling and hopefully deadly indictment
of Gael's Family and its dealing. It was essentially all there, he
was basically done, but he was... he was going nuts in the meantime.
His patience was at an end.
He lunged forward and swung, Wufei catching the blow easily on his
forearms. Heero's other fist came very close to Wufei's gut, but he
managed to block that one too, elbow darting up, aimed at Heero's
nose. He bent backwards and then twisted, bare foot catching Wufei's
hip. His partner staggered back and sneered. Is that the best
you can do? That's pathetic, Yuy. Heero growled and spun into
a vicious kick that Wufei again managed to block, but Heero stuck
to him with a flurry of punches that drove him back and set his sharp
features in a mask of concentration.
Heero should have had enough fuel for this fight. His frustration
had been building with every encounter they had, even as his body
craved the natural high of unflinching, unfettered motion. Each fight
was simultaneously relief and added tension. He wanted, *needed,*
to fight now. Energy coiled through him, in his shoulders, chest,
fingers, and calves. It crouched in his gut and in his groin, poised
and waiting for release.
Duo had laughed when Heero had tried to explain this need. Duo had
told him he needed to get laid, needed to work off his sexual tension.
Heero had replied that he'd just gotten laid that afternoon.
"Ah yes," his best friend had nodded wisely. "Your
sex life is admittedly quite
active. But what you *need*
"
he purred, "is to fuck someone you *want.*"
Heero had scoffed at the very idea that what he, Heero Yuy, sex worker,
needed was more sex. At the moment, what he needed was right in front
of him, smirking and nearly spitting condescension.
Heero shook himself and once again, focused on the sources of his
tension, letting them swirl in his mind as a sort of meditation and
as the strength upon which he relied to counter Wufei's swift -- and
incredibly difficult to see -- strikes. He focused on the way his
heart ached and his gut burned every time he saw the way their lives
were rapidly unraveling, every time he tried to gather the fraying
threads and hold them together until he could finish his work and
set them all free. He fought Wufei with every scrap of frustrated
energy he had, fueling it with his concern for Quatre, who withdrew
further from them every day, tumbling free-fall into the new life
their Boss had given to him. He'd hunted down three bounty heads already
and was waiting to start treatment until he got more of a rhythm down.
He was worrying them all. He thought of Trowa drifting about the flat
like a ghost, eyes following Quatre everywhere he went. Heero didn't
know the extent of their relationship, but he could guess that it'd
been jerked from under their feet when Quatre learned of his illness.
And it wasn't helped by his new job either. Heero fueled his fight
with the shameful envy he felt every time he thought about Quatre
working a job that... wasn't hustling. Heero could do Quatre's job,
probably better than Quatre, but the lengths to which Gael would go
to humiliate and wear him down knew no bounds. His boss would keep
Heero hustling until he caved and accepted Gael's offer of an unequal
partnership -- live with him, share his power, have access to his
business and his money, be free of his friends and their problems.
He'd no longer sell sex; but he'd still be sold to one person, and
that was one too many for him. Plus, he'd have to leave Duo, which
he could never, ever do.
And therein lay the true source of his anger, frustration and ache.
The past months and especially the last few weeks had seen a drastic
reduction in the amount of time they were able to spend together.
Yet Heero's feelings for his best friend had not diminished. In the
mornings, before he went to work either for a client or on his laptop,
he went to Duo's bed and knelt down beside it. He watched the young
man sleep, and sometimes, when he felt courageous - or desperate -
he touched the long braid resting on its owner's pillow. He knew that
the timing wasn't right for he and Duo to... be in any sort of romantic
relationship. Hell, he didn't know the first thing about relationships,
and he wasn't sure what he even wanted from Duo.
More. He knew that much. He wanted to wind that braid around his fist
and... claim Duo. And he wanted Duo to do the same to him; shove him
up against a wall, pin his hands above his head, strip him of his
power, make him vulnerable, and say "Heero, you're mine."
He needed that pact. He felt like it had been there, for a time, unspoken.
Now, there was distance and he felt he could only watch Duo from across
that distance, when what he really felt, down to his core, was...
'I'm already his and he doesn't know it.'
He imagined Duo opening his eyes to see Heero kneeling beside him,
imagined him sitting up, all slim muscle and loose posture, imagined
them leaning closer together, bodies almost touching. Hands on thighs,
ribs, chest, neck; fingers running through hair, tugging and pushing.
Would they kiss? Heero didn't think he knew how to kiss anyone. If
any of his clients kissed him, he'd been too far gone, locked away
in his own head to notice. He'd certainly never kissed back. He could
picture kissing Duo, or trying. He pictured it being a disaster. Duo,
graceful and flexible, passionate and strong; him stiff as a board,
awkward, unsure, scared of hurting his closest friend. Heero *did
not* react well to proximity; hence the disappearing act when he worked.
If he didn't put his brain somewhere else, he'd probably hurt his
clients when they touched him.
Dangerous reflexes. Lethal reflexes, more likely. But he wouldn't
hurt Duo. They'd known each other too long. Duo had long ago infiltrated
Heero's defenses.
Heero thought he might like to try kissing, but only if Duo initiated
it and showed him how. The prospect of initiating anything with Duo
was utterly terrifying, so he usually tried not to think about it.
But today, as Wufei finally got hold of his wrist and flipped him
neatly onto his back, as impatience and frustration welled up within
him, he let it out through his fists and and feet. He caught the foot
whistling towards his middle and twisted, sending his partner sprawling.
He offered Wufei a hand up, and looking slightly surprised, the dragon
accepted it, only to find himself jerked to his feet, a knee headed
straight for his breast bone. Wufei landed back on the floor with
a thud, struggling for breath.
Heero scowled; he hadn't meant to strike that heard.
Wufei pressed his hand to his chest. So, 'fair' is out the window
as of now?
"We were fighting fair?" He forced derision into his voice.
"We have been so far," Wufei said with a sniff.
"Chang, when have you *ever* known me to fight fair?"
"I-"
"I don't know how to fight fair," he murmured in a low deadly
voice. Wufei, still massaging his diaphragm back to life, scowled
up at him. "No one ever taught me, and I never had the inclination
to learn. You should have picked up on that by now."
Wufei may have nodded in acknowledgment, but Heero would never know,
because suddenly, he found himself on his back again, Wufei once more
standing over him. "Just try that again, Yuy. You want dirty,
I can do that."
Heero smirked and rose to his feet, absently rubbing the back of his
head where it'd hit the floor. "I didn't think dirt stuck to
you, Chang," he sneered. The dragon didn't reply to that, instead
lunging forward with hurricane-force, driving his opponent quickly
backwards.
Heero felt like his body was singing with electric current -- every
part of him was filled and overflowing with sensation. Sometimes --
like right then -- it was pain, a bright burst of it in his ribcage.
But mostly, it felt like too much oxygen. *This* was what he needed:
an escape from all the shit, a good brawl with someone who shared
his need for violence.
He tasted blood from a split lip. There'd be a scab from that. Clients
didn't like scabs. They liked bruises better, thought they were sexy.
But blood
well, fuck them. Not a one of them understood how
his insides writhed at the thought of them touching him, how his brain
had to essentially go into lock-down in order for him to keep himself
from breaking bones when they were near him.
Wufei sent him sprawling once more, but he rolled to his feet before
his body came to rest. They stood several paces from each other, again
sizing up the opponent.
"Tired?" Wufei bit out.
"No."
They battled back and forth until their breath came in short gasps
and blood ran from more than a few scrapes. Heero raked his gaze over
Wufei's taught body. He saw the sweat soaking through the tank top,
took in the excited flush of his cheeks. Even after fighting for this
long, the young man exuded calm and self-assurance. How? The dragon
was usually so on edge. As they stood facing each other, his brain
raced through possible explanations and how, if possible, he could
use them to his advantage. Enough sleep? More meditation? A new exercise
regimen? Heero didn't think so. But he could see and feel that he
would lose to Wufei. The fighter was just waiting for him to tire;
then he'd strike. Heero needed a new tactic. So he turned to that
potty-mouthed inner voice that usually turned out to be Duo's. Heero
entertained what Maxwell's theory would have been in this situation
and the answer was immediately obvious: sex. Wufei had gotten some
and had been satisfied by it, despite his abhorrence for his job.
Somehow he was satisfied. But who would do that for him?
He thought of the nights he spent with Duo in their room, working
into the early morning. His chest ached when he looked over his shoulder
to see his best friend's sleeping shape turned away from him, long
body curled around a pillow as if it were a lover. And his chest ached
a little more when he saw Duo's small frown appearing more often and
he saw the time he spent in their room decrease. The ache became sharp
and painful when he noticed Duo spending an increasing amount of time
with the young man now in front of him, breathing hard, blood dripping
from an abrasion on his cheek. Images of Duo rising from the bed to
leave their room and see Wufei flickered through his mind and he reached
up to clutch at his chest. At this uncharacteristic motion, Heero
saw unease flicker through Wufei's dark eyes. Then he embraced the
flood of rage and hurt coursing through him, and ugly words fell from
his mouth.
Heero thumbed his nose and said, his voice taunting, "New favorite
trick, Chang? Does he do something for you in return for what you
sell him?" He had the instant satisfaction of seeing Wufei's
eyes widen and his entire body go rigid. Heero ruthlessly exploited
the dragon's shocked stillness and shoved him to the dojo floor. Black
eyes grew even wider as Heero laid his torso and chest flat along
the body beneath him, their noses a few centimeters apart. The dragon's
breath hitched as Heero kneed muscled legs apart. "Am I going
to have to question your integrity?" Black eyes flicked away
from his, but Heero followed that gaze and leaned forward, snapping
his teeth closed a finger-width from Wufei's lips.
And just like that, the fight was over. Heero rolled to his feet,
measuring Wufei's response. The dragon got to his feet much more slowly,
refusing to meet Heero's eyes, looking thoroughly shaken. He'd never
been one to suffer insults, especially against his honor, but Heero
could see that he would not counter this attack. He stood there, looking
at the floor, gold skin flushed with some unnameable emotion. Heero
felt his heart sink. He may have won the fight, but not through any
superior skill of his own. He'd humiliated his partner and only increased
his own suspicions about Wufei and Duo's friendship.
"Chang." The young man shook himself and looked up. But
still he said nothing. "So, you can dish it out, but you can't
take it? Is that it?"
Wufei turned sharply and headed for the door. Heero's eyes narrowed.
He wanted to say something, confront the dragon, to confirm or deny
his suspicions, but he'd always handled confrontations better with
his fists. Words didn't work too well for him. 'Oh, hell,' he thought,
taking a few steps toward Wufei's retreating back.
"Chang, wait." Wufei stopped by the door and turned back,
putting on his sneakers, looking at Heero expectantly. Heero stopped
a few paces from him and crossed his arms over his chest. The sweat
was beginning to dry on his skin and he shivered. "Something
you want to tell me?" Wufei shook his head and Heero didn't know
whether to feel relieved and take him at his word or dig further.
'Oh, hell,' he thought again. "You're not going to fight me?
I just insulted your honor."
Wufei's lips pinched in a sour frown. You didn't insult me.
You made a statement about my life. We could both rip each other apart
like that, but I don't have any desire to do that, not today.
Then he turned and left the dojo, back held straight, fists held down
at his sides.
Heero rubbed his arms and scowled, not in the least reassured by Wufei's
parting words. Shit, he muttered before turning back to
his clothes.
~ * ~
Chapter
23
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