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"Blood or Chocolate?"Written By: Karen Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of
its characters. Otherwise, the show would've been way different. Warnings: First and foremost, this fic is supposed
to be a humor fic. Shounen ai and Yaoi next. Violence, blood and gore,
supernatural elements, such as werewolves, vampires, evil leprechans,
trolls, witches, and other stuff I think of along the way. Expect
lemons, limes, death of insignificant characters, and angst. (heh!)
OZ people are also going to really intermingle with the GW boys, particularly
with Duo. Pairings: Will be 5x2, 3x4, past 5x1 (and we're
talking WAY in the past), Meizer+2/2+Meizer and everybody+2 (hey,
everyone loves Duo). Summary: Duo Maxwell is an almost average guy
in a small, rural town. He works at the only gas station for miles
around, is gorgeous, but single. He also gets harrassed by the town's
rich idiot. But what makes him different is that he's a clairvoyant;
he can read thoughts by touch or he can simply 'hear' them. Kind of
complicates matters. Yeah. So when he runs across a man whose thoughts
he can't hear, although trying to gives him nosebleeds, he decides
that that is a fair trade. That is until he finds out that the guy
isn't a typical 'guy,' and that getting involved with him only leads
to trouble...and a few dead bodies. "Blood or Chocolate?" To see how the hell to pronounce Alphagué and Betagué, see bottom of page.
Last night as Hilde drove us home, I told them everything
that happened at the convenience store, what happened with Wufei,
what I felt at the morgue, and I told Howard what Hilde and I smelled.
They were upset, naturally. I was too. Mooney was murdered, but the
police had the incident recorded as an animal attack, and I couldn't
think of any way to prove it otherwise without getting myself incarcerated
or put in the nuthouse. I wasn't going to even tell Meizer. He would
be obligated to turn me in and he wouldn't. I couldn't do that to
him. So I was going to keep this burden all to myself. How selfish of me. But I didn't tell them Wufei wasn't human. Hell, I didn't
know where to even begin. I mean, if he wasn't human, what the hell
was he? I didn't tell them that Wufei said I wasn't human either.
I was still trying to come to grips with that my damn self. And if
*I* wasn't human...what did that make me? It was almost one o'clock in the morning when we got
back last night, and Hilde and I were adamant that Howard stay with
us until this thing blew over. I didn't like the fact that he lived
alone, that his house was on the outskirts of town, by itself, and
I didn't want anyone thinking him an easy target and going for it.
He wanted to stay to protect us. So Hilde and I played up the role
of weak, orphaned children, and he was determined to pack enough clothes
for a month of Sundays so that he wouldn't have to go back home for
anything. Mission accomplished. Exhausted, I tossed the last box outside for disposal.
It was nearing ten o'clock. In another hour I would be meeting up
with Wufei to ask every question that popped into my mind. Finally,
here was someone that could tell me about...me. I was as excited as
I was terrified. After all these years, I would know something. Thank
you g--what the hell was that smell? I stepped outside and looked around, again. It wasn't
the smell of something rotting, like a dead possum, but I couldn't
place it either. It just smelled funny outside. Sour, like you left
the milk out too long. It was starting to piss me off. A car pulled up to the pump, and I immediately recognized
Tsubarov's assholemobile. I went back inside and continued to work.
My mind was so engrossed in what I wanted to ask Wufei that I was
scared nearly shitless when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Jeez,
Tsubarov! Call my name or something next time." He was looking smug. "I did call your name. Three times." He held up three fingers as if I needed visual confirmation. "You obviously didn't hear me." "Oh. Sorry." My apology ignited something in him. He seemed to have
grown a few inches, and his chest puffed out. I guess he was a bloody
peacock. "I didn't think you'd be here today because of your...discovery
yesterday." I grabbed the broom and started to sweep. "Yeah well, life goes on," I said, not sure of what I should say. I wanted to take a quick peek at his thoughts, but mine were fried. Literally. Wufei's mind totally trashed mine, and it was going to take some time to heal. I tried to use my ability several times today, but the thoughts came through with static and were blending with others, like a weak radio frequency. When I tried for the fourth time with the same result, I decided to wait a couple of days before any more attempts. But what pissed me off was that I was able to do it last night at the morgue. I mean, I was able to hear everyone at the hospital and...this shit just wasn't making any sense. "Hey, did you smell something funny outside?"
"Faintly," he agreed. "Could be the skunks
mating." Duh. Why didn't I think of that? "Duo." I didn't need my mind-reading skills to decipher the
tone in his voice. "Tsubarov, look." I set the broom down.
This has to stop, once and for all. "I don't want to be an asshole
to you anymore, okay? I don't like acting that way towards someone.
Lord knows I have enough enemies. But...I am not attracted to you.
I don't want to be with you. I could give a shit about your money,
and I...I like someone else," I finished, surprised I said that
out loud. Hell, I just learned the guy's name! Tsubarov was really considering my words. "I don't
want a relationship. You're too much trouble for that." I was tempted to smack the shit outta him with the broom.
At the same time, my feelings were a bit...stung. I've had people
telling me my entire life I was trouble. I didn't need to hear it
from this jerk too. "Well, I do want a relationship. And I don't
want it based entirely on sex. That's what whores are for." I
stopped and waited. If he dared to insinuate that I was a whore...oh,
there was going to be a fight. "So you wouldn't consider a physical relationship
only with me where you could be...financially benefitted?" That was a pretty way of saying fuck me for money.'
But he said it in just the right way to keep me from getting mad.
"No, I wouldn't." I picked up the broom again and swept
the small pile of dirt outside. I put it back in the corner I always
kept it in, and started to pack up. "Whatever you need, get it
now. I'm closing up." I was suddenly spun around, and crusty lips were pressed
harshly against my own. I pushed Tsubarov away and started punching
at him. I was in complete shock, and the only thing I wanted was distance
between me and him. I got my distance when he pushed me across the
room (he was an asshole, but a strong asshole), and he quickly opened
the door to leave. I didn't know what happened to me, but all of a sudden
I couldn't take it anymore. I ran after him and pushed the bastard back, causing
him to fall. As he rolled on his back, I stood over him and started
punching him in his face. He tried to kick me, but I jumped out of
the way, and landed a swift kick to his stomach. He howled and curled
up in pain, and I started punching him all over again. All of my anger
at him, Septem, Alex, Mueller, the death of my parents, and Mooney
and Luna's murder drove me on. I couldn't stop myself. In fact, I
thought that I was going to beat him to death. Somehow, the thought of Wufei crossed my mind and I
stopped. I grabbed Tsubarov by the collar of his shirt and dragged
him to his car, calling him and his mother every awful name I could
think of, as well as creating a few. I threw him into his car and
slammed the door closed. After a few attempts he got it started, and
drove away with his head bowed. I continued to stand where he left
me and shouted after his car, just in case he didn't hear the first
three times how big of a fuckin' prick he fuckin' was. Then I stomped
back to the shack and closed up. I was Exhausted, with a capital E. When my anger burned out, it took all of my strength
with it. I sighed as I started the car, and thought about calling
Wufei and telling him the hell with tonight, I was going to bed. But
I remembered that he had questions too, and probably wouldn't hesitate
to break down my door to find out what he wanted to know. That smell was starting to really bug me. Skunks didn't
usually get that bad. "Fuck it," I said to myself and drove home.
*** "Duo, what happened?!" Hilde shrieked as I
walked in the door. "Eh?" I looked down at myself and saw specks
of blood all over my clothes. I didn't even notice. "Oh. I got
into a fight." "With who?" she demanded, checking me over
for injuries. Howard watched me from the couch. If I wasn't missing
a limb, he wasn't going to worry. "With Tsubarov." "Tsubarov?!" they shouted in surprise. Hilde
looked horrified. Howard looked happy. "Yeah. I stink. I'm hitting the shower," I
said as I dashed into the bathroom. As I passed, I saw that there
was a picnic basket as well as a red and white checkered blanket.
But the picnic basket was one I recognized as having a false bottom.
Howard must have his handguns in there. I tore off my clothes and jumped in, yelping from the
spray of cold water. As I started to wash up, I heard Howard come
into the bathroom. "What happened?" "That son of a bitch kissed me!" I shouted,
feeling all of the anger coming back as I scrubbed my arms. "I
can't believe he had the nerve to put any part of his body on me."
"Oh yuck!" I heard Hilde shout from somewhere
in the house. "I would've kicked his ass too!" "Then what happened?" "I pounded him into the ground." I was making
fast work of my chest. "Then what?" "I threw him into his car, and he drove away."
"And then?" "That's it. I came home." I heard Howard chuckle. "Good job Duo." It was now my turn to puff my chest out and grow an
inch or two. "Yeah, I know." "Somebody's cocky!" Hilde shouted from somewhere.
Again. I finished and jerked the water off. Grabbing the towel
from over the showerhead, I dried myself off as fast as possible.
I flew out of the bathroom and jumped into my pajamas. (Hey, we were
going to get back late). The pants were in zebra print which I wore
with a black tank top. Howard was dressed in his usual loud clothing,
sunglasses and all, while Hilde dressed in some black leggings, sleeveless
shirt and her ass-kicking' shoes, which were her black Nikes.
We gathered up all our picnic stuff and at ten minutes til,
walked to the pet cemetery. I didn't know what Einstein thought it was a good idea
to build a pet cemetery in the middle of nowhere, but oh well. My
house and Wufei's house were the only houses for miles. Howard was
ten miles away to our east. The field Septem owned was a half hour
walk west of here, but his house was miles inward from there. I think
it took a good half hour to get there by car. So it was quite a shock
(and unfortunate) that I ran into him yesterday. Anyway, the cemetery was between our houses. My back
porch led to a path that went through what felt like a miniature forest
of Deodar trees before opening into a bald spot. That bald spot was
maybe thirty feet, give or take, and that lead to the north gate of
the cemetery. That was the only entrance. The black wrought bars that
were the fence were only four feet high, and I remembered during our
youth how Hilde and I would jump that fence and scare the little trick-or-treaters
on Halloween to steal their candy. Heh heh heheh... Wufei's back porch faced it also if I remembered correctly,
but their path was longer than ours. It went under an absolutely huge
Honey Locust tree and wound around the side until it came to the north
gate. Their house also sat on a slight hill, which made it easy to
jump the fence on their side by using the slight hill for leverage,
or by simply swinging from a branch of the Honey Locust tree and flinging
yourself over. (I'm telling you, the tree was THAT freakin' big).
There were other paths here and there, but since they haven't been
used in years, they were pretty much overgrown. So basically, my back porch and Wufei's back porch faced
the pet cemetery, where both of us had blocked views of cutesy-fartsy
headstones with birdshit on it. The moon was bright tonight, great for lighting the
paths without our flashlights. We climbed over the fence and continued
on the path until we came to the center of the cemetery where there
was a clearing. Already there and waiting was Wufei, Heero, and a
woman I didn't recognize. Wufei wore a white tunic that was a size
too big for him, and matching linen pants. Heero was dressed the same
way, in brown. The woman was dressed in a flowery print sundress.
All three were barefoot. Stepping from behind Heero was Mariemaia,
holding his hand. She was wearing a blue and yellow polka dot swimsuit.
I raised an eyebrow. Wasn't it a little past her bedtime? The woman, who was tall with her hair in twists, picked
up the blanket they brought and laid it out. It was black and white
checkered. Hilde mimicked her, laying our blanket out as well. All
of us then sat down at the same time, while Mariemaia crawled into
Heero's lap. "I said to bring two eye witnesses with you. Why
did you bring her?" "I brought her to show you something," Wufei
said. "But first, I believe introductions are in order."
I decided to humor him, for now. If this turned him
on, so be it. "Alright." I gestured to my left. "This
is Howard Maxwell, my uncle." The three of them nodded to him
in greeting. He didn't return the gesture. Thanks Howie. I gestured
to my right. "This is my twin, Hilde Maxwell." The three
nodded to her. She nodded back, and smiled at Heero and the woman.
They smiled back. That's right, they've already met. "And I'm
Duo Maxwell." "I am Heero Yuy," he said, and I noticed for
the first time his slight, Japanese accent. "This is Sally Po,
Wufei's Betagué bodyguard." The three of us shot up at
that. What the hell was a Betagué? And bodyguard? Heero definitely
had our attention. "This is Mariemaia Barton," he said,
kissing the top of her head, "niece to Alphagué bodyguards
Trowa and Catherine Barton." She smiled. I however, was ready
to scream at him to say words I damn well understood. Heero then got on his hands and knees, facing Wufei,
and bowed with his forehead nearly touching the ground. Sally and
Mariemaia mimicked Heero's position. What the hell? "Lastly we have Chang Wufei, Descendent of the
Chang Clan and Packmaster of the powerful Lagrange Five Werewolf Pack,
the Shenlong Werewolves." No one said anything. The breeze stopped, and the crickets
quieted. I stared right into Wufei's eyes, and that was when I saw
it. Heero's, Trowa's, and Quatre's eyes, along with Rashid's, Darlian's,
and Sally's eyes, glowed from the moonlight. But Wufei's didn't. Instead,
his eyes absorbed the moonlight, creating its own glow from within.
That made him the most powerful of them all. He was the Alpha. He
was Packmaster. He was a Werewolf. The world tilted on its side, then went black. ~ * ~
Betagué and Alphagué are pronounced like
the city "Prague." So it's two syllables: Be-tagué
and Al-phagué. (Ignore the accents, I only put them there to
make it look fancy).
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