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"Blood or Chocolate?"Written By: Karen Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of
its characters. Otherwise, the show would've been way different. Warnings: First and foremost, this fic is supposed
to be a humor fic. Shounen ai and Yaoi next. Violence, blood and gore,
supernatural elements, such as werewolves, vampires, evil leprechans,
trolls, witches, and other stuff I think of along the way. Expect
lemons, limes, death of insignificant characters, and angst. (heh!)
OZ people are also going to really intermingle with the GW boys, particularly
with Duo. Pairings: Will be 5x2, 3x4, past 5x1 (and we're
talking WAY in the past), Meizer+2/2+Meizer and everybody+2 (hey,
everyone loves Duo). Summary: Duo Maxwell is an almost average guy
in a small, rural town. He works at the only gas station for miles
around, is gorgeous, but single. He also gets harrassed by the town's
rich idiot. But what makes him different is that he's a clairvoyant;
he can read thoughts by touch or he can simply 'hear' them. Kind of
complicates matters. Yeah. So when he runs across a man whose thoughts
he can't hear, although trying to gives him nosebleeds, he decides
that that is a fair trade. That is until he finds out that the guy
isn't a typical 'guy,' and that getting involved with him only leads
to trouble...and a few dead bodies. "Blood or Chocolate?"
"Hey man, what's goin' on?" I asked in my
sleep-ridden voice. "Did I wake you?" "Yes." "Good." "Bastard." "What else is new. Hey, I got some info for you."
"Oh yeah? What's that?" "I checked the lab reports on Mooney, Luna and
Harvest." "Lab reports?" I asked, coming fully awake.
"Yeah. The coroner noticed a funny smell,"
he let the pause run its course, "and had some skin and hair
samples sent off. Also had some scientists from Austin come in to
check the bodies out. All sources agree that the bitter almond smell
from the corpses is because they were rinsed down with hydrogen cyanide."
"Hydrogen cyanide? Now I've heard of hydrogen and
I've heard of cyanide, but I ain't never heard of hydrogen cyanide."
"Well, that makes two of us." "But why?" I could sense Meizer shrugging over the phone. "Hell
if I know. So far, no one else knows either." "Well, what's it used for?" I heard the flipping of paper. "Used for tempering
steel, dyeing, explosives, engraving, mixed with other compounds for
fumigation, extremely toxic, blah blah blah...hey, listen to this.
It's found in apricot and cherry pits." "Yeah, but I doubt someone squeezed a gazillion
apricot and cherry pits to have enough to pour over three grown men."
"I'm with you on that one." "We don't have factories or any of that other stuff...well,
damn!" "That's what I've been saying all morning."
"Does it erase fingerprints?" "Nope." "It didn't eat the skin...it wasn't used to kill
them...damn again!" "You're acting as if those same thoughts hadn't
crossed my mind, Duo." "So much for CSI." "Oh yeah," he interrupted, changing the topic.
"I stopped by Tsubarov's yesterday." "Really?" "Yeah, really." He had the sound of surprise
in his voice. "He looked terrible." I couldn't help puffing my chest out again. "Oh
did he?" "Yes. He had about twenty five stitches all over
his face," he said dangerously. "He said he fell down the
stairs, but unless those stairs were at the top of a fifty foot stone
temple, I don't see how that much damage was done to him." He
left the question unvoiced. "Well, if you don't believe him, maybe he got hurt
because he overstepped his bounds with someone, and that person retaliated."
He was quiet. "Oh. I see." "Good." The discussion was closed. "I gotta go. I'll let you know what else I find
out." "Cool. Thanks Papa Bear." "You bet." He hung up. I hung up the handle and snuggled back into my pillow.
I felt physically worse than I did yesterday, which sucked, but my
mind's eye felt infinitely better. I realized that I was sleeping
a lot yesterday, but I chalked that up to learning about the existence
of werewolves, finding a human head on my car and getting my ass kicked.
I've never hurt 'it' before, and I now just realized I was sleeping
so that my brain could relax. At least that was my theory. I didn't
necessarily feel 'it,' on a day to day basis, but today I felt like
things were in focus. I felt as if, metaphorically speaking, the images
were sharper, the color was more vivid, the radio was tuning in, et
cetera. Yeah. Whatever. "Ahh! Grr...Duo! Get your butt out here!"
...so not going to get any peace. "I'm comin' Hil."
I stumbled out of bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning. I heard another
stumble from down the hall, and figured that was Howard climbing out
of bed to see what all the fuss was about. I scratched my head as
I came into the living room. "Hilde, what's my...fault..."
My jaw hit the floor. I heard Howard come up behind me. "Holy shit."
All of our furniture was gone. It had been replaced with a new leather furniture set. The couch, which was curved and long so that it could seat eight people, was buttery soft and the color of a loaf of bread. The two matching recliners, one of which rocked, was the same color, and all furniture faced the black, thirty six-inch Sony screen TV with built in VCR and DVD player. The new Playstation was already hooked up, equipped with a meager fifteen to twenty games, and the two speakers that stood next to the TV looked like they could handle a serious Jimi Hendrix concert. "Wow. I might have to put-out for this." "Duo," Howard said, giddy but trying not to
show it. "What the hell is this?" I shook my head to clear it. I had to. I was completely
overwhelmed. "Well, Wufei and I talked last night, and he told
me he wanted to 'court' me." "Excuse me?" Hilde said, clearly not impressed
at all. Some people were just not easy to please. " 'Court you?'
You can't be serious. You two aren't even the same species!"
"Who gives a shit," Howard said, stepping
over to the TV. "If it don't concern them, don't let it bother
you." "Howard." Hilde sounded exasperated. "I
thought you didn't like Wufei?" She put her hands on her hips.
"I don't," he agreed happily. "But that
doesn't mean he doesn't owe us for the trouble he's putting us through."
He turned the TV on. "Ooooh wee!" "Duo." She turned back to me. Clearly Howard
was not going to be of any help. "You can't accept this. You
have to return it all. This is too much." "No it's not!" "Howard, stop it!" she snapped. "Duo,
this isn't right. The furniture an-and the TV are not going to make
up for the murders in town and for what we're going through because
of him." She put her hands on my shoulders and started to shake
me. "Look! Howard and I got home around two thirty in the morning,
and I was the last to go to bed at three! They came in and-and did
all this!" She waved frantically behind her. "They're coming
in and out of our home as they please!" "Whoa doggie. You want some fries with that shake?"
I glanced up at Howard, then at what he was watching.
What the... "Howard, is that porn?" "Yep." Now I was surprised. "We have a porn channel?"
"Nooooo, we have six porn channels." "Grrr!" Hilde growled, then stomped back to
her room. Figuring that Hilde would be okay, I went ahead and...and
stayed with Howard just to make sure...you know, that the equipment
and everything was safe to use, and stuff, and junk. Wow. Six channels. *** The bad side to all the new electronic stuff was the
fact that it was new and electronic. We were men that did not read
directions, so Howard and I spent a good twenty minutes trying to
figure out how to set the damn clock on the VCR. After that, we were
about to spill blood over which game to watch since two were on at
the same time. We accidently discovered that if you hit the button
that had a square within a square, both channels will display simultaneously.
When that catastrophe was avoided, he and I settled down for a beautiful
afternoon. Hilde was so mad at me and Howard for our acceptance
of my 'dowery,' as Howard called it, that she went into work early
just to get away from us. A couple of hours later Howard went to work,
kissing the TV and threatening me with bodily harm if I allowed anything
to happen to ‘Susie.' Once he left I shut everything off, including
the lights in the house, and let the silence and darkness envelop
me. I had been avoiding this all day, and it was now time to do my
part of the bargain. Closing my mind, I let my thoughts race around
in my head as I searched for a connection. Except that each body was covered with hydrogen cyanide.
That was the only constant. Could it be that there was more than one killer then?
Who else could be involved? If there was more than one killer, they
were probably collaborating... The men had no relation to each other...okay, so it
was random? They opened up an opportunity, and the killer took it?
I was supposed to find Harvest. Was I supposed to find
Luna too, or was that just a coincidence? I went to the store on a
whim... Did these pants make my butt look fat? The phone rang, shattering any more questions (about
the murders or my butt) that I had. It took me a moment to get my
bearings; the lights were off, and because of my new...additions,
nothing was familiar. I had to stub my toe twice before I got the
lights on, then I had to find the phone. It was moved from its usual
spot. "Yeah?" "Will you get your bony butt over here?!"
Well, that answered my question about looking fat. "Quatre?!"
"I'm trying to shag here! Wufei won't let Trowa
loose. They've been holed up in his room all day. I don't know what
they're talking about but I could give a damn! Hurry up, I need a
distraction." He hung up. I placed the phone gently on its base, and stood there
in confusion. I was planning to go to Wufei's today, but I thought
I wasn't expected over there until later. It was only six o'clock.
They seemed like...you know...night people, or something. Yeah. Right.
The phone rang again, and I picked it up. "Yeah?"
"Why the hell are you still there?!" It was
Quatre. Again. I laughed, loud and hard. "I'm on my way right
now." "Good." He hung up. Still laughing, I slipped into my shoes and went out
the back door. I decided to take the path at the back of the house
that would wind me around the pet cemetery to Wufei's. ~ * ~ (tbc)
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