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"Yesterdays Hero"Written By: ShenLong Disclaimer: I don't own the G'boys, I just borrow them from time to time and return them a whole lot happier ne? Also I don't own the song "Yesterday's Hero" either, it belongs to John Paul Young and as such all rights are his. Rating: PG 13 Warnings: Angst, Heero POV, Song fic Pairings: None Summary: Set after the war and Heero is released from hospital into a world where he is too well known for his own liking. // indicates song lyrics //
"Yesterdays Hero" June. 2004 ShenLong The brightness of the sun almost blinds me as I stepped outside the glass sliding doors of the hospital. I blinked a couple of times and squinted as my eyes finally adjusted to the bombardment. I looked from left to right trying to make up my mind which way to go. Or rather, where to go. Shouldering my backpack, I stepped carefully down concrete steps and onto the pavement, noting the changes that have occurred whilst I was hospitalized. A lot changes in three months. With my destination still unknown, I begin to walk. // When I walk down the street, I keep my eyes firmly fixed straight ahead, seeing without looking, always alert. The further I walk the greater the prickling sensation becomes until I find the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Furtively I dart glances about but cannot detect any immediate danger. There are only civilians on the street, no threat; but still the unease continues. I hear whispering but I ignore it, choosing to continue on my way. // When I walk down the street, I pause at the traffic lights, waiting for the signal to cross when someone invades my personal space and I'm confronted with a wide grin and brown eyes. Automatically my hand is reaching for the gun I no longer carry and it's with considerable effort that I stop myself from grabbing the man around the throat and breaking his neck. I have to remember, this is peace time now, no need for fighting, no need for soldiers... No need for me. I vaguely register his words of greeting and thanks and then he's gone; and I'm left staring at a flashing 'cross now' sign and wondering what the hell just happened. // They say; The deeper I travel into the city so the more people surround me and the greater my urge to flee becomes. I continue to walk though, head held high, desperately trying to ignore the stares, the pointing and the whispers. I catch snatches of words as I walk, people parting in front of me, stopping to watch my passage, turning to their friends, partners, kids; pointing, "Wasn't he was one of those Gundam pilots?" "Wasn't he the one that stopped that piece of the Libra?" "Yes, you're right. I saw him on the television." "Isn't he a bit young to be the savior of the world? A hero?" // Take a look at me, My steps hesitate a little as their words begin to seep into my brain. Is this who I am? // Take a look at me, That's when it hit me. Right between the eyes. I was a hero, these people had witnessed my moment of glory, they saw it on their screens and so worshipped the very ground I walked upon. What they hadn't seen though were the other four pilots, all of whom were just as much responsible for the peace as I was, if not more so. I didn't want this attention, I never asked for it. Now I understood why the other four had left, gone back to what was left of their lives prior to the war. At first I'd hated them for deserting me, leaving me when I needed them the most, even if I would never have admitted to it. But now... Now I can see clearly why they had slipped away, melting back into obscurity. The scrutiny of people everywhere I go, staring, pointing, whispering amongst themselves, whether it be in the mall, the street, bus station or even the public toilets; it was like being under a microscope twenty four seven. And I hated it. // When you walk down the street, I have to get away from all this. I can't stand being in the proverbial goldfish bowl. Why can't people just pass me by without stopping, without staring? They don't know me, they only know what they read, what they want to believe. // If you wonder what I'm doing My mind is made up; I am taking a leaf out of Duo's book. I'm going to run and hide. I can't take anymore of this scrutiny. Every day someone has something new to say about me, what I'm doing. All of it is lies though. I gave up reading about myself a long time ago, I learnt that it didn't matter what I said or what I did, they would always print what they wanted to anyway; so let them believe what they want, let them have their little fantasies. The final straw though was when I found out that I was supposed to be marrying Relena. Not that I have anything against the girl but... Suffice to say I'm not the marrying kind. // When you walk down the street. Even up here in the colonies I still see the looks people give me, varying from awe to pity, I don't know which is worse. They don't know the half of it, what I went through in my training, what it was like out there in the battlefield. I suppose I should be grateful that they don't, that they were spared the horrors that I had to endure, that all five of us had to endure. If they knew, I seriously doubt that any of them would want to trade places with me. // Because, Now I've grown accustomed to the stares and the questions, finally accepting them as a part of my current life; for there is nothing much I can do to change that. No matter where I go they still point the finger and talk amongst themselves. But now, sometimes I answer them. // Yes Most have grown accustom to my presence for no matter how hard I try, I cannot blend in to the crowd. I always manage to stick out despite my efforts to the contrary. Somehow being a normal person wasn't included in my training; it wasn't deemed important. I guess I wasn't the only one who didn't expect me to survive the war. But I did. And like it or not, I'm stuck with the name, along with the title. // Take a look at me, ~ Owari ~
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