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" Give Me A Chance "Written By: ShenLong Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. I just borrow them to play with and return them a whole lot happier. :) I don't own the song "Treated This Way" either, it belongs to John Farnham and all rights are his. Rating: PG 13 Pairings: 1x2, 3+2 Warnings: Angst, little bit of sap, abusive Heero, more angst, song fic, Trowa POV, OOC. Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.150m.com
Notes: // indicates song lyrics//
"Give Me A Chance" May. 2003 ShenLong I looked up as Duo entered the kitchen, my eyes couldn't help but notice the slight limp in the gait. He wandered over to the coffee machine and poured himself a mug of the dark, scalding liquid and then turned to stare out of the window, sipping at the contents with caution. My eyes continued their sweep of his body and although he wore long sleeves I could still make out the faint patches of bruising. As if feeling the weight of my gaze upon him he turned and faced me, that manic grin plastered in its usual place, the mask as firm as ever, but his eyes.... They were the give away. // I've been watching him While the grin stayed firmly in place the laughter didn't reach his eyes. He made his usual jokes and light banter, teasing WuFei and managing to cajole Quatre into making him breakfast. Anything to keep the mood light. They couldn't see.... But I could. // Somehow you're different I saw the small tense of muscle, the quiet setting of jaw, the slight drop of friendly fun as Heero joined us. The switch had been thrown and while on the surface you held the mask firmly in place, like a life line, underneath I could see the quake that could so easily shatter it. // I know you feel, it the heart doesn't lie. I caught your gaze and held it. The mask slipped for a brief moment and for that second I could see right into your soul before you ducked behind it once more. What I found in that fraction of time pained me, tore at me and left me bleeding. // And it makes me sad, I flicked my eyes from yours to Heero's and back again. You could read the question, but declined to answer. Instead you opted to lower your eyes and finish your breakfast, skillfully avoiding the subject. I continued to observe as Heero stood, placed his dishes in the sink, and then paused behind you. I noticed the stiffness of shoulders as his hand touched you, the tremor as he caressed your braid and the helpless resignation in those violet depths as he spoke roughly. "Duo." Then he left. // I've seen this movie before You stood to follow and I shook my head. "Why?" I asked. You paused mid stride and looked back at me. "I have no choice." At least that is what your voice said. Yet your eyes begged to be given a different alternative. // Don't let yourself be treated this way, I watched you leave, my heart breaking for you as you shuffled out. Love isn't like this, not love as I define it. It should be a happy time, joyous and shared equally. But I guess those emotions were blotted out from Heero a long time ago, along with the rest of his humanity. I turned my head and hid my face behind my bangs unwilling to let anyone see the anguish in my eyes. // I know the pattern, The days continue to pass and along with them my silent observations. If you were aware of it, you never let on. I watched as slowly the light in your eyes dimmed while the abuse of your mind and body continued. I could see that you thought you had no way out, that it was your fate to be caught up in the never ending spiral of use and abuse, physical and mental with no alternative but to suffer silently. How wrong you were. After lying awake and listening to your cries and whimpers last night I could hold my peace no longer. // Your spirits been broken, I softly opened the door to your room and stepped quietly inside. My eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room as my nostrils took in the heavy scent of sweat and sex. You lay, curled in a fetal position upon the bed, the way Heero had left you when he departed for the day. You didn't hear my approach, so locked in your misery were you. When I reached out and touched your shoulder my heart constricted painfully as you flinched away. Large vacant amethyst eyes opened and stared at me. I was shocked at the hurt I could read in those depths. What happened to the vibrant cheery youth I knew and loved so well? Where did he go? All I can see now is the empty shell of a person that was once so full of life and living. Gently I pull you into my arms, the embrace soft as I soothe and rock you while the tears flow unchecked. // There is another side of romance, "Ohhh Duo..." I say softly while I hold you, the hot salty fluid seeping through my shirt. I let you cry, knowing you need to release all the pain and heartache, the tears cleansing you a little with their departure. I gently rub your back as I cannot help but study the the pattern of fresh bruises that adorn the creamy skin, marring the flawless beauty and I know this has to end. I can no longer watch or walk away. As your tears begin to slow and your body settles from shaking to mild trembles I ask you again. "Why?" The answer hasn't changed. "I have no choice." you whisper. As my arms tighten protectively around you I speak my mind. "You do have a choice." // Why keep hanging on, Your sad violet eyes that were once so full of life, gaze lost, into mine. I raise my hand to brush away your tears and wince as you flinch away. "I won't hurt you, I would never hurt you." I breathe out as I return my hand and stroke my thumb across your cheekbone. "He can't help it, it's not his fault." The words are so softly spoken that it takes me a moment or two to realize that you said something, and predictably longer to comprehend. I shake my head and tilt your chin to look at me. "No." I reply. "He can help it." // You've been in this movie before I continue to hold you while my mind chases itself and then suddenly it all becomes very clear to me. Your past... or what I know of it. A life spent scrounging and thieving, of being too small, too weak and defenseless to say no or prevent others from taking what they wanted. But not now, not anymore. You are no longer a weak helpless child and I tell you as much. I smile as you turn to look at me, a small glimmer of understanding appearing in those ever changing orbs. "Leave him Duo, come to me and let me show you what real love can be." // Don't let yourself be treated this way. You tremble and try to pull away but I refuse to grant your freedom from my arms until I have said my piece, made my point. "Please Duo... This isn't what love is about." I say as I stroke your bruises. "I... I... I can't..." you whimper. "You can. Let me help you, let me show you." // Don't be afraid of the end I stroke your hair, marveling at the rich, soft silky texture and wonder again just how Heero can treat something so wonderful, so precious in such a cold way. "You deserve better. Give me a chance Duo, let me love you, show you how it should and will be. Don't think of it as the end, for it isn't. It's just the beginning." // Don't let yourself be treated this way. Those violet eyes stare at me, trying to make sense of what I am saying, what I am offering, and for a moment I see a flash of hope and the flame sparks again. Your arms reach tentatively back around my waist and tighten. "Could it work?" you whisper. "Yes." "But what of Heero? I don't think..." "Hush Duo. You -can-do-this. I will be here for you, I'll always be here for you. I won't let you down, I'll keep you safe and show you a better life. Will you let me?" I gently cup your cheek and gaze deep into your eyes as I force my own to reveal the true depth of my feelings for you. I lower my head and bring my lips closer to softly brush them over yours. // Don't be afraid of the end. Your eyelids flutter shut as a soft sigh escapes your mouth, I pull away and stare softly at your features. You lean into my hand and I run my thumb in a gentle caress over your cheek. "Leave him Duo, come with me and I'll teach you how real love should be." // Don't let yourself be treated this way, I lean forth once more to capture your lips in a soft gentle kiss, a kiss that promises you hope, happiness and love for eternity, unconditional, if you wish to accept. I am elated as you respond, shyly at first, then relaxing into the caress of my mouth and finally surrendering as you accept that the decision is inevitable, that you need to move on. // Don't let yourself be treated this way "Okay Trowa." you whisper and I feel my heart jump with those two simple words, so small in their structure yet large in their meaning. You tuck your head under my chin as I continue with my gentle caresses of your back. I can feel the tension beginning to leave you as I churn the future over in my head. It won't be easy... this I know, but together we can overcome anything. I kiss the crown of your sweet head as I murmur my love and my thanks. ~ Owari ~ Authors notes: This fic was hard to write as it is extremely close to what I am personally going through in RL, my own situation being like that of Duo in this fic. By writing it though I am able to see my own position a little clearer and maybe gain enough strength to take myself out of the vicious circle I am currently in. I'd also like to dedicate this to Ryouga without whom I think I would have lost my sanity a long time ago. Thanks for being my pillar of strength while I sort out where my life is going.
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