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"Letting Go"Written By: Ryouga Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam boys or any other character from the series. I don't own the song "Hold On " It belongs to Sarah McLaughlin and all rights are hers
Pairings: 1x2. Rating: PG Title: "Letting Go." Author: Ryouga. Authors note: // Denotes song lyrics // Letting Go
// Hold on. Hold on to yourself "I'm sorry Heero." Sally's voice interrupted my concentration as I watched the rapid rise and fall of your chest. "There's nothing that can be done for him now." // Hold on. Hold on to yourself "How long?" I heard myself demanding an answer from the woman as I reached down taking the cold and frail hand in mine. "I can't say Heero. It could happen today, tomorrow, a month from now. It's only a matter of time before..." // What is it in me that refuses to believe "There has to be *something* we can do!?" I plead almost desperately. "I'm sorry Heero, there's nothing." She must sense my anguish as I look into her eyes trying to find answers, because she turns away. "We've done everything possible. I'm sorry." // My love. You know that you're my best friend I watch as Sally leaves the room, a serious look in her eyes and I understand now. I think I understood before, but I didn't want to believe it. Not about you. I would do anything for you right now; even take your place, if I only knew how. // And my love let nothing come between us I refuse to let death destroy what we have. You are my heart and soul. My love. My everything. Without you I am only half. // Am I in heaven here or am I... I don't know what to do or think anymore. I'm confused, and for once in my life I think I am truly afraid. My heart beats fast as I think about the way things used to be, knowing that all too soon it will be over. // So now you're sleeping peaceful I climb up by your side and lay next to you, reaching out I touch your face gently. You stir. I pull my hand away from you. It took you long enough to fall into a restless slumber and I didn't want to wake you now that you'd finally settled. // Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me I often wondered about asking WuFei about his god Nataku. He seems to have a lot of confidence in the deity, but, I don't know what to believe in any more. Not even *I*, the perfect soldier can fix this. // And oh god the man I love is leaving I feel like I've failed, failed the only one I ever loved with every fiber of my being. If there is a god Duo, I want him to watch over you when you finally leave this life. // Am I in heaven here or am I in hell It's hard watching you like this. I feel so helpless and knowing that I can do nothing, makes it worse. You cough, trying to catch your breath but you can't. I sit you up in my arms and reach for the oxygen mask but you push it away. "Let me go Heero." You beg me for your release. I tense, realizing you have been holding onto life for *me*. "It's alright." You reach out and place your hand gently over my heart. "I'll always be with you, here." Your body starts to convulse and there is nothing I can do but hold you. // So now you're sleeping peaceful My heart feels like it's being ripped from within me as I watch you slowly slip away. I clutch at my chest with my free hand, working hard to hold back the tears, but, OH GOD!! It's unbearable. I can't stand this pain and I hear you whisper one last time as a tear escapes my grasp... // Hold on, Hold on to yourself "Ai Shiteru. I love you!!"
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