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" Zit "Written By: Presser Pairings : 1x2x1 Disclaimer : Gundam Wing characters aren't mine Rating : PG Warnings : Shonen-ai Summary: A bizarre plot bunny, third hand came
my way, and I was just crazy enough to try and write it. This is completely
pointless fun, no sex or romance (please! In a story called "Zit"?)
whatsoever. Enjoy. Duo's lecture was pulled from a site chock full
of factual facts, so rest assured that all that he says is true. I'd
credit the site, but no longer remember where it is in webland. "Zit" "What the hell?" Heero Yuy paused as he toweled off his hair, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He blinked twice, then dropped the towel in the sink. Both hands went down to embrace the sink, and he leaned in until his nose was almost touching the glass. He pulled back slowly, staring at his forehead. "What in the name of Doctor J is /that/ thing?" From the other side of the washroom door, Duo Maxwell sang out. "Heero, honey, what's wrong? You need me to help you stroke something? Hmm?" "Shut up!" Heero's tone was unmistakable. He was righteously pissed. Duo's head popped through the door, a worried look on his face. "Love? What's wrong?" "What's wrong? This! /This/ is what's wrong!" Heero turned from the mirror and pointed accusingly to his forehead. "Huh?" Duo blinked, then grinned. "Oh, /that/! Geez, Heero, you called me for /that/?" Duo's head unpopped through the door. "Duo!" Heero yelled. "Come back here!" Duo's head repopped through the door. "Yeah?" "What /is/ it?" "You don't know? C'mon, Heero! Everybody gets those!" "/I/ don't! I've never seen anything like this before. Especially not on /me/!" "Deal with it." "I'm /trying/ to! A little understanding from my 'lover' would go a long way to helping." "Look, Heero," Duo said, sliding the rest of the way into the washroom, "it's no big deal, really. It'll go away after a few days." "It will?" "Sure! Just ignore it." "/Ignore/ it? Impossible. Look at it! It's -- it's horrible!" Duo focused on the center of Heero's forehead. "Well, you've got a point. It's almost like a third eye. Never seen one quite so big before." "See what I mean?" Heero paused, and the irritation he felt faded a bit. "Um, what /is/ it?" "You mean you really don't know? I thought you were just --" "Duo," Heero said softly, "I really don't know. If you do, tell me." Duo cleared his throat, smiled slyly, and began to lecture. "It's a zit, Heero. Zee eye tee. Zits are what happen when the oil glands in your skin get clogged and pus is what comes out when you pop them. "But don't pop them! It only spreads infection and can make your embarrassing zits even worse! "Zits do not care about color, sex, or age, everyone from teenagers to grannies get zits. In fact, zits can be found on the faces and bodies of over 70 million people! "A lot of things can cause zits. Including stress, and a build-up of toxins including infection. Stress is not just a mental state of being, it can also affect your physical wellness. If you have an infection, it will find an outlet through pimples. "During your teen years your body starts to do some funky things while it grows up, including producing more testosterone (a male hormone found in females as well as males, but in varying amounts), which tells your body to start producing more oil. As a result, the dead skin cells mix with the oil and clog your pores, causing zits. "There are a few kinds of zits, all undesirable, but some more than others. When your skin is clogged up with enough skin cells and oil, you get whiteheads; a small white bump under the surface of the skin. When it reaches the surface, it appears black and a blackhead develops. It isn't a dark color because of dirt, but rather from melanin pigments (the stuff that gives color to your skin and hair). "If the wall of the pore breaks, it can become inflamed and red. If it breaks further below the skin's surface acne nodules or cysts can form. It is important to get these treated, unless of course you want permanent scars." Duo put his hands on his hips and flashed a big grin at Heero. Heero's face had slowly gone through several transformations while Duo had lectured. The blank stare was replaced with widened eyes and raised eyebrows which were slowly lowered over narrowing eyes. Mild frustration built, gathering storm clouds darkened his countenance, ending in quivering purply-red rage. "Duuuo! You /idiot/! Did you think I needed a freakin' /lecture/ on the subject? I just wanted to know what it /is/! Geez!" Heero's hands were clenched into fists that shook gently at his sides. "I /told/ you what it is! Weren't you listening?" Duo's grin widened. "Oh, and did you know? Chocolate doesn't cause acne. Experiments conducted at the University of Pennsylvania and the U.S. Naval Academy found that consumption of chocolate - even frequent daily dietary intake -- had no effect on the incidence of acne. Professional dermatologists no longer link acne with diet." Heero pulled the towel from around his neck and twisted it into a weapon, which he aimed at Duo's legs. He snapped the towel, but Duo jumped back in time to miss the sting Heero had wanted to give him. He laughed, opening the bathroom door, dancing backwards through it. He continued to lecture Heero as he was chased through the apartment, bounding onto the couch and around the small dining table that sat near the kitchen. "Think that only dirty people get zits? Nope. Clean people get zits too. Bacteria (the good and bad kinds) lurk in everyone's skin. "And scrubbing your face a lot won't get rid of your zit, Heero. Sorry Snoopy-boy! Although washing your face is necessary, stripping your face of the natural oils cause your glands to go into hyper-drive to make up for it, which will lead to even more breakouts! You should only wash your face gently with a mild cleanser no more than twice a day." Duo finally returned to the couch and collapsed in a heap of laughter there. Heero pounced on him, straddling his hips, his knees pressed into the soft cushions of the couch. "Alright, mister smartypants! Enough! So I'll leave it alone, and it'll take care of itself? I guess I can do that. But I'm not leaving this apartment until I look human again." Good choice, Duo thought, but he only smiled up at his lover, his heart still beating quickly from the romp through their living quarters. "Um, Duo? It's not so bad, is it? I mean, maybe it just looks bad to me. Hey, I'm sorry I overreacted. Forgive me?" Heero smiled back at Duo. He put his hands on his lover's shoulders and leaned down for a kiss. Duo promptly put both hands on Heero's chest and shoved him backward, slithering out from under him. "What do you think you're /doing/?" "I was gonna /kiss/ you!" Duo crossed his arms and glared at Heero. Heero's eyebrows shot up again, this time over a worried look. "Really? You're not gonna kiss me?" "No way, man! With that third eye staring at me? No way!" Owari
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