" Love Letter"

Written By: Presser

Pairings : 1x2

Disclaimer : I do not make any money from writing Gundam Wing fanfiction.

Rating : PG

Warnings : Romance, sap

Spoilers: None

Feedback : Always welcome, especially constructive criticism. Don't hold back; I enjoy learning how to improve.

Summary: Simple love letter from Duo to Heero while he's on mission.

Archive: http://www.gundam-wing-diaries.150m.com/gw/Presser/gwPresser.htm

Notes: /emphasis/

"Love Letter"

 

Not sure where you are tonight, Heero. And it's pretty certain you won't get this anytime soon. I suppose I'm writing to soothe my own feelings rather than trying to communicate with you.

"Communicate."

What a word. It means connecting, sharing, getting the thing, idea, concept, feeling — yeah, the feeling — in you into someone else, so that they understand your idea, concept — or maybe feel a bit, just a little, of what you're feeling.

Pretty philosophical for ol' free-wheelin' Duo, huh? But, yeah, I can be — sometimes.

I'm listenin' to J-pop tonight, as I write this — and, yeah, you're gonna wonder why a tech whiz like me's writing with actual pencil and paper instead of emailing you. Well, that's because it's — well, it's /tactile./ I can /feel/ it as I write. Makes it somehow more real, if that makes any sense. You can see when I pushed harder, made bolder strokes. Maybe that's communication, too. I actually think it is.

Anyway, the J-pop — It's "Get Over," by Dream. It's the original opening theme for Hikaru no Go. You know, that anime I'm into.

Yeah, you always laugh at me for bein' into cartoons. But Heero, it's not cartoons; it's anime. You'd think a cool Japanese guy like you would understand. (If you were in front of me, I'd just shrug.)

Anyway, I've got it looping on iTunes, 'cause I love the beat of it. And the words — you know I don't speak Japanese, other than the stock phrases like "onegai," "gomen nasai," and "arigatou." (I could get all philosophical about what we learn of Japanese culture from the fact that "please," "sorry," and "thank you" are the first things we learn of the language, but no — I have other things to say to you tonight.)

Anyway, I love the flow of the Japanese. The girl who sings it rocks, IMHO. But I looked up the translation on animelyrics.com, and here's what the tune is about:

/You support me now, and I support you now
So let's wander and live towards the future together/

That's you and me to a tee. We didn't support each other at the first — didn't know what to make of each other. But now — well, I don't know about you, but I couldn't live without you. I think that's the way you feel, too. Don't you?

Next lyric:

/There are days that I'm about to break after being hurt, and days
when I trouble you by crying but

We will overcome that, reaching for top more than anyone/

I know you've heard my nightmares. And somehow you have the grace to not mention the screams. But I know you know. I see the — well, you don't exactly have a "look," but I can somehow tell you know. Dunno how, just do.

And I — god, Heero — I know that you and I are gonna reach the top. We're gonna overcome the shit in front of us, all around us, somehow. Because we
have each other.

/So whatever it is,
I will never run away from the reality but instead will accept it/

You know me, right? Quatre told you about my famous line: "I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie."

Not really proud of that, because it's not entirely true. Oh, I believed it through and through at the time I said it, but — damnit, I guess nothing's absolutely true at all times. Especially about me.

But I'm not gonna run from what's in front of me, in front of us, because —

Damn, damn, damn — forgive the spots on the page —

I'm gonna accept the reality in front of us, because I — I have to. I have to because I don't want a life without you in it.

There.

/If there's something important, I will protect it
At the thing I don't want to lose, I will put my everything into it/

I'm gonna protect us, Heero. Not you — I know you don't need that. But "us" — that needs protecting. When two people fall (can't say it yet) —

When two people are together, whatever it is they have, well, it's precious. Like a little seed sprouting. You have to tend it. Feed it, water it, protect it from the sun. So many things could hurt it.

And you have to let it grow. "Let" it. Can't overprotect it, or it'll die that way, too.

Damn it, but living things are so frisking resilient and fragile at the same time.

And that's what we have, Heero: a living, resilient, fragile, and totally mind-blowing relationship. It means everything in the world to me. Everything in /my/ world, at least.

/I'm not talented so we will hurt each other and ourselves
But I can walk with a little more faith now/

We both know I can easily put my foot where my mouth is twenty times a day. But what's happened between us — and more — has given me the ability to walk with more confidence. I believe in something for the first time since I was five: I believe in you, in us. And maybe in me, too.

The song says a lot more, and it's meaningful and all, but I've selected the parts that are pulling at me tonight.

The drums, especially the bass drums — don't laugh, but it's like your heart against my chest when we make love, just after, when we're both coming back,
eyes closed, feeling, just pure feeling.

~ ~ ~

Those squiggles above this line? They represent about twenty minutes of staring, trying to find words.

Funny, huh? I'm the one who never shuts up, always joking, laughing, mister spark plug, mister party hat.

God, Heero, just — just come back, okay?

In one piece.

To me.

'Cause I have something to say to you, and I have to look into your eyes to say it.

I wanna hold you, hold you close. Feel the heat of you, drink the scent of you, fall into you, and you into me.

I wanna tell you, Heero.

I wanna tell you.

So come back, okay?

'Cause I —

I need you.

Duo.

~ * ~

 

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