|
"Gomez "Written By: Presser Pairings : 1x2 Disclaimer : Gundam Wing characters aren't mine Rating : NC 17 Warnings : This will involve graphic sex, though
not gratuitous sex. "Gomez" Chapter 2
I banged through the door to the tiny apartment Heero and I shared, no caring that the door hit the wall. Heero looked up from his books, all spread over the kitchenette table in the living room corner. He cocked an eyebrow at me -- so like him. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was putting me down. I flashed my brightest smile and said, "We're eating steak tonight, lover boy!" "Oh?" "Yeah! I found a special at Cavuto's -- a really nice cut, and if I treat it right, it's gonna melt like butter in your mouth." I proudly held up the Cavuto's bag to display the neatly wrapped package from the butcher showing through the see-through plastic. Heero smiled, but just barely. "And where did you find the money? I thought we were -- " /Shit! Why can't I think before I open my mouth? All that planning and decisive action during the war, and in my private life, I screw up constantly!/ My smile drooped, and I looked away. "Oh, um, I found a . . . a twenty in the inner pocket of my . . . my parka last night when I was going through the closet." /Damn! That's so lame!/ "And why were you going through the closet this time?" I felt my face get hot; I knew I was blushing. /Nothing to it but to charge forward!/ I turned back to Heero and marshaled my strength to give him blinding smile number two. "I think there's still a bottle of that Australian beer left, the stuff Quat gave me for my birthday in April. I'm gonna use it to sauté the mushrooms you brought home yesterday. That'll go great with this steak!" I walked to the kitchen, swinging the Cavuto's sack as went. I knew I was walking a bit too fast, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out from under Heero's glare. Okay, he probably wasn't glaring at me, just -- well, confused. I'm not sure what he was feeling at that time. He certainly didn't suspect -- well, I'm getting ahead of things. I don't know what Heero thought or knew. That's actually the point of everything, now that I think about it. I had no idea what was in my partner's head -- and he certainly didn't know what was in mine. If I had my way, he never would. But that's not something that was sustainable, and I was a fool to think it ever was. I made it to the kitchen and set the meat on the counter and then exhaled, but softly, silently. /Okay, that's over. Now --/ I heard Heero from the next room: "Um -- " /Damnit! I bet I didn't close the door./ I gulped another breath and dashed into the living room, again moving too quickly. I tried to keep my voice light and airy. "I know, I know; the door, the door!" I closed the door and returned to the kitchen. I stood at the sink for a few moments that were way tenser than they should have been, listening. I heard Heero turn a page in a book, and then I breathed out again. I slumped against the counter, my head hanging down between my shoulders. /How much longer?/ ~ ~ ~ I was still standing at the sink five minutes later when I heard Heero's chair scoot back against the rug. He made that tiny, little grunting noise that accompanied him stretching his arms above his head. I realized I had done nothing whatsoever about dinner, and turned around quickly, scrambling in a cupboard for a pan to use for the steak. I needn't have worried, because Heero didn't come into the kitchen. He said from the living room, "I'm going for a walk, okay? Be back in a few." I made a point of clattering the pan in my hand in the sink; turned on the tap to wash the pan and create a larger impression that I was doing something. I tried to sound a bit distracted as I spoke. "Don't be late. This'll be ready in half and hour, and I don't want it to get cold." "Right." I washed the pan until I heard the apartment door close, then cut the water. I held up the pan to let excess water drip from it, and reached for a dishtowel. I dried the pan, set it on the front eye of the stove, and pulled the towel through the door handle of the fridge. I don't know why, but right then I froze as though stunned by a blow to the back of my head. I looked down to see that my hand was trembling. I gritted my teeth. /Roy said this would be it. I can do this; I can get through it just one more time./ I glanced at the clock on the wall; it was already 5:36.
Heero would be back soon, so I knew I'd better move if I was going
to make this happen without /Move!/ I forced myself to let go of the towel and walked resolutely to the bedroom. I closed the door and went to the chest of drawers. On top sat an old Kellogg's cereal bowl with the bright-colored rooster in the bottom and the words, "Top o' the Morning!" scrolled around him in cheery, scripty type. I used the bowl as a central station for my traveling valuables: watch, wallet, cell phone, the iPod Quatre gave me for Christmas two years ago, keys, loose change. I dipped into the bowl and fished out my cell and went to the bed. It was still fully light outside, but the blinds were shut. Thin strips of light seared the dim shadows on the duvet. I sat and watched the light cascade up my legs, almost to my waist. I stared at my cell. /Move, damnit! There's no time!/ I flipped open my phone and dialed a number I had memorized just three days ago. "Roy? Duo." "What? Yes, Roy, I know. I said I would, didn't I?" "You don't have to worry about that. Everyone's been pleased, haven't they?" "What?! I can't possibly be there early! It's hard enough to get out of the house by -- " "Yes, Roy, I know. It's not your concern how I manage it." I sighed, not entirely for effect. "Okay, okay! Don't get hostile! I'll be there by 11:30 tonight. I don't know how, but -- " "Yes, Roy, I'll bring it." I pushed END and snapped my cell shut; dropped it on the bed. I hung my head. /You can afford to feel sorry for yourself after this is over, okay? You're still a soldier, and you're more on mission now than you ever were during the war. So MOVE!/ I snapped my head up. In the half-light of the bedroom, I narrowed my eyes and gritted my teeth. I dropped my cell in the Kellogg's bowl on the way back to the kitchen. ~ ~ ~ "You made it!" By the time Heero got back, I had flank steak sizzling in the pan. I was moving at top speed now to bring dinner together. "Smells great." Heero was leaning on the kitchen doorframe. "Yeah, doesn't it? And wait till you see what else I have!" /What the -- Why the hell did I say/ that?! /I/ don't /have anything else!/ I knew my face was going red again, but I tried to hide that by diving into the fridge for a bag of salad to toss. Heero didn't seem to notice my /faux pas/, and, like him, just moved on to another topic. "Got time for a little shower?" "Sure, if you can make it quick. I'm five minutes away from plating this." I was actually ten minutes away, but I was too flustered to think straight. I turned from tossing salad to the stove, my back toward Heero, to stir the mushrooms bubbling in the beer. Suddenly Heero was right there, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. He startled me, and I reacted poorly. "Not now, Heero, I'm cooking." He snorted softly, turned away. "Hey, you'll get your kiss," I shouted after him lamely, "don't worry." But he was gone. ~ ~ ~ While Heero showered I concentrated on finishing dinner prep. I checked the steak: it was searing nicely in the pan on top of the stove; the mushrooms were getting tender; and the salad was ready to go. I grabbed plates, flatware, and wine glasses and moved to the table to set it. /Damn, Heero!/ He had left his books sprawled over the table, pens and legal pads mixed in. I put my dinnerware on one corner of the table and gathered up his books, careful to put pens or pads in the books to hold his place, then stacked them all on a chair to one side. I put out dinnerware, then went back to the kitchen for paper napkins and a potholder or two, then back to the table to place them. /What am I going to tell Heero about the "what else" I have? I've got nothing./ I fretted my way back to the kitchen to do a final check on the food. I turned down the mushrooms and steak to the lowest setting and sighed. I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath. I looked at the clock again; Felix said it was 6:15. /I better go check on Heero./ As I moved to the bedroom, I tripped on nothing at the door, almost falling forward onto the bed. I realized that I was still clutching the hand towel from the kitchen. /Get a hold of yourself, mister!/ I listened at the bathroom door; no running water. He
must be out. I pushed the door open quietly and saw Heero with his
back to me, completely naked, Even in my agitated state, I couldn't resist a signature Maxwell comment. "Well, now, that's one fine ass you got there, Mister Yuy." I wiped my hands on the towel and smirked. Heero spread his legs a bit and put his head between them, his ears at his ankles. "Perv." I smiled. "You know it." I turned to leave, calling over my shoulder. "Get dressed; food's ready." I walked out of the bedroom and put the towel back on the fridge door handle, then went to fetch a bottle of wine for the meal.
I shook my head. I have got to focus. /Calm down, Duo. Breathe, breathe. You can do this. After tonight, it will all be over./ ~ ~ ~ "Smells good, Duo." "Yeah, doesn't it?" I smiled at Heero and put salad in the bowls before us. I had already cut the steak and divided the mushrooms. I knew Heero's logical side wouldn't forget about the comment I made about having something extra, so I figured I had to keep the conversation moving in order to keep him from remembering it. "So, get a lot of studying done?" Heero blinked, shook his head a tiny bit as though he hadn't been listening. Not like him at all. "What?" I raised one eyebrow, just a bit; let the beginning of a grin slide up one side of my mouth. "Um, I said, 'Get a lot of studying done?'" "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. There's just so much to cover before the test tomorrow . . ." /Good. We're talking about something, at least./ "Well, you'll get it done. Besides, I don't know what you've got to worry about. It's not like you're not a top-notch engineer already. And you stud harder than anyone I've ever seen." Heero nodded. "Hn." "Don't 'Hn' me, mister. You'll do fine." "I suppose." "So, ready?" "Yep." I grabbed Heero's hand and we both bowed our heads. I waited a couple of seconds, then looked up and grinned. "Are we grateful?" "Yep." "Okay, then. Let's dig in." I let go of Heero's hand and rubbed my hands together. "I'm starving!" As we began to eat, Heero said, "Why do we still do that?" "Do what?" "Pray." /Not this again, Heero!/ I forced a smile and popped a mushroom into my mouth. "Well, that really wasn't much of a prayer, was it?" "That's my point, Duo. You don't really believe, do you? So -- " I sighed. "This again? Look, Heero, let's not ruin a good dinner talking about religion again." But he pressed on. "It's just that -- " I cut him off. "Look, I'll tell you again. I don't know whether there's a god or not. I'm not an atheist, but I'm not a believer, either." Heero just blinked, his face impassive. I continued, stifling a sigh. "I pray because Sister Helen taught me to." I paused. "I guess it's one of the few things like a tradition that I have. Okay?" Heero nodded. "Look, Heero," I said, my tone softer now, "I don't -- we don't -- have much in this life, not now, anyway, and I . . . I guess I need to hang on to this little ritual as sort of a -- a comfort, okay? Can we leave it at that?" Heero hesitated, then said quietly: "You have me, don't you?" I exploded inside. My eyes narrowed, and I used that low, serious voice that meant death to whoever heard it back during the war. "What the hell does that mean?" "I -- " "Are you saying that I -- " I cut myself off, and stood abruptly, rattling the cutlery on the table. I used all the sarcasm I possessed and said, "Enjoy your steak, Heero." I turned and marched to the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. /God almighty! How dare he? He has absolutely no idea what I'm doing for hi -- for us --/ I was beside myself with anger. I paced back and forth, then remembered, somehow, that I was still hungry. Or that I could use the food cooling on the table to hurt my partner one more time. I yanked the bedroom door open, went back to the table, and grabbed my plate, the flatware, and my glass of wine. "If you think I'm giving this up, you're mistaken." I tramped back to the bedroom and slammed the door again, this time, with my foot. I put the food down on the vanity, looking up to catch
my face in the mirror as I did. My eyes were blazing, and my face
was contorted in anger. Suddenly /It's not his fault, you know. He's done nothing wrong./ I widened my eyes in disbelief at what I had done, and started to cry. I clapped my hand over my mouth and collapsed on the bed, my knees drawn up to my chin. ========================== Author's notes: Now I can reveal to you that the structure of this fic will revolve around two POVs and two timelines, though you've probably figured that out. Every other chapter (usually) will be told from Heero's POV, with alternating chapters from Duo's POV. This means a lot of the same material will be covered twice, but the point is for the differing POVs to give greater insight than would come from a single POV or from an omniscient narrator. We'll see if it works. I didn't reveal this at the first because I wanted the second chapter to be a surprise in this regard, and hope you don't feel cheated, somehow. Gomen na if you do, but I hope you'll keep reading. You'll notice that Duo doesn't remember things just the way Heero does, including dialog. That's intentional. I wrote chapter two, for example, with chapter one right beside me, but deliberately changed wording and even minor sequences of events. The point is that not everybody sees, hears, or experiences a single event the same way. It's what makes us all unique, ne? Finally, thanks for reading. I enjoy any praise you care to share, but I covet any constructive criticism of my work. Really. Happy New Year!
|
