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" Better Than Fine "Written By: Presser DISCLAIMER: This fanfiction is not written for profit. The author claims no ownership of the characters. Pairing: 1x2 Rating: PG Spoilers: The story refers to the final events of the series. Warnings: Post-series AU, light romance Summary: What do you do with a broken heart that never found the courage to say "I love you?"
Duo struggles to find the courage to confess to Heero, but before he can, Heero vanishes, leaving only a cryptic note that explains nothing. Weeks later, Duo finds a letter taped to his shower curtain. Who broke into his apartment to leave it? Why? Does this have anything to do with Heero's disappearance?
Better Than Fine answers these questions with
a surprise twist that will leave your pulse racing and warm your heart. "Better Than Fine " 8 "But we do need you, Duo. I need you." Heero's voice broke on the last word, and his eyes glistened as he continued. "It's true that the mission is all about changing people's hearts. I suppose you'd think Quatre's more suited for that than I am. After all, he's the one with the space heart." Quatre blushed. "When Relena explained the real purpose of Preventers," Heero said, "everyone on the team assumed he'd be the point man. But there are some good reasons why that doesn't make sense." "For one," Quatre said, "I'm too compassionate if anything. And I'm way too flamboyant." Trowa turned and stared at him. "I couldn't do covert ops even if I wanted to." "Trowa has the heart for it," Heero continued, "but he's not the kind of guy who persuades people of anything." "I just blow things up,” Trowa said, "spray bullets like heavy rain in a thunderstorm." "And we all know," Wufei said, "why I'm the least likely to succeed at diplomacy." No one needed him to elaborate. "But how are you any better," Duo said, "at persuading people, I mean? Your nickname during the war was The Machine." Heero's eyes turned sad. "Do you remember," he said in a small voice, "what I did after I blew most of the world leaders who stood any chance of negotiating peace out of the sky?" Duo's eyebrows came together. Heero had never before spoken of that terrible moment. "You took time off from your mission to go see every member of General Noventa's family to apologize for killing him. You even gave his daughter a gun and told her to shoot you if she wanted -- if it would make her feel better. But that wasn't persuasion," Duo said, "it was asking for forgiveness." Heero smiled wanly. "The one thing that's guided me through my life so far is the advice I was given to follow my emotions. Sometimes it was the only thing I had to hold myself together. But during the war, I couldn't let them get in the way of the mission. Dr. J made sure I learned that lesson." He glanced down. "When the war ended, I finally had the chance to start living as a civilian, and the first thing I discovered is I had no idea how to be one.” Heero looked up. "I'm not a cold person, Duo. I just never... figured out how to -- So I began working on it. It's the main reason I accepted this mission." He softened his voice. "I turned down the request to join Preventers, you know." "Really?" "Three times. It was only when Relena convinced Wufei to tell me about the transition to the final stage of turning hearts and minds that I seriously considered it. I think my heart knew what my mind didn't want to acknowledge: that I --" "You needed to do it for penance,” Duo said. "I needed to do it to grow.” "So Relena --" "No," Heero said, "not Relena." He drew a deep breath and blew it out. "There was this... thing in me. I don't know how to say it, exactly. It'd been there for a long time. The reason I needed to change, to grow, to learn how to accept myself and start being honest about my feelings." "And what was that?" "You," Heero whispered. “Wh-what?” Duo whispered hoarsely. "You're my exact opposite in just about every way I can think of," Heero said. "I'm reserved, you're outgoing; I'm a planner, you're an act-now kind of guy; I'm quiet, you're noisy, and --" "Hey!" "Do you deny it?" "No," Duo said in a low voice. "And the most important difference is you're honest about how you feel." Puzzle pieces began to fall into place for Duo. After a moment, he said, "You know, we've grown pretty close over the years, haven't we? More than friends, right?" Heero was tentative, almost shy. "I've wanted to tell you how I feel for a long time, but I could never figure out how. I spent a whole year pretending I was waiting for the right moment. Eventually I saw I was afraid, but not of commitment. I was just afraid of screwing up." His eyes glistened in the soft light. "You know what you are?" Duo said. "You're a big dope." Heero raised his eyebrows. "But no more than me. I've been a big dope too." "You have?" "Yeah," Duo said as he rubbed the back of his head. "Never could find the right words or the right moment, and massively afraid of messing up too. But there was something else." "What?" "I, uh..." "What, Duo?" "I was afraid you'd reject me," he said in a small voice. "The day I got the call from Wufei last month," Heero said, "he said we'd had a major break, a chance to talk with a key Oz leader we'd been working on for months. He said it could be a real, honest-to-god chance to steer things in the right direction; more than a little dangerous; and that I'd have to leave within the hour. There wasn't any time to --" "You couldn't have called me?" Duo said, "even just to --" to let me hear your voice, he finished silently. "Would that have made things better?" Heero said. "Would it? How do you think that call would have gone?" He put on a cheery voice. "Hey, Duo, guess what? I've got to leave, right this minute, but I can't tell you where I'm going, and I don't know when I'll be back. Oh, and I'm sorry about the special dinner tonight. Just order out. Well, gotta go. See you later." "You wouldn't have done that." "Of course not. And I wouldn't have done it the other two ways either." "What other two ways?" Heero spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. "Listen, Duo, um, something's come up... really big stuff.... Can't talk about it, but I have to take off. Yeah, I know it sounds mysterious, but you'll just have to trust me." Duo's demeanor grew stony. Heero said, "Or how about this?" He changed his voice to a pleading tone. "Duo, look, I hope you'll forgive me for this, but something's happened that's going to take me out of town for a while. I really, really wish I could tell you what it is, but --" "Just stop it, Heero," Duo said. "I get it." "The note was the only thing that made sense. Voicemail or texting was out of the question -- way too risky. And I had no idea how long I'd be gone or even if I'd succeed. We all hoped for the best, but there was no certainty. So I had to find a way to say the most important thing the best way I could in the situation." Duo straightened in his chair. "What 'most important thing'? Your note was barely a dozen words, and one of them was crossed out. The only thing it said to me was you're not who I thought you were." Heero looked like he'd been slapped. "What?" "What was I supposed to think?" Duo said sharply. "Your note didn't tell me a damn thing. I've spent days trying to see something in it besides unanswered questions. But --" "You didn't see it?" Heero said. "See what?" Heero narrowed his eyes. "Do you have it?" "What? The note?" Heero arched an eyebrow. Duo said warily, "Yeah...." "Take another look at it." Duo pulled the note from his wallet, the edges soft from constant handling. He unfolded it and once more read the words he'd pondered several times a day since Heero had disappeared. Please trust me. Go<crossed out> Have to go. Can't explain to you. -- Heero "You don't see it?" Heero said. "Heero," Duo said, trying to hold back his frustration, "If there's a coded message here, I'll eat -- I’ll eat half my braid. I've spent hours on this, but there isn't one." "Turn it over." "What?" "Look on the back." Duo flipped the paper over. "There's nothing there. And yes, I've tried holding it up to the light, heating it, checked out all the usual things you could've done to hide something." Heero held out his hand. "May I see it?" Duo gave him the note with a dubious look. Heero ran the pad of his thumb across the back, barely touching it, then returned it to Duo. "They're still there." "What's still there?" Duo said. He turned the note over once more and examined it. He'd been over every fiber of it more times than he could count, but the only thing he'd done with the back of it was look for marks. Now he ran his fingertips over it the way Heero had. Suddenly his eyes grew big as saucers. "Understand now?" Heero said. "You clever bastard," Duo said with an evil
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