"I wish I were you "

Written By: Lisa-chan

Disclaimer: The G-boys are not mine. I only use them for loads of fun and for putting them in compromising situations and stuff.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: yaoi, Lime, Lemon, Yaoi, and all that jazz ;p

Pairings:1x2, 5x6, 2x4, 3x4

Summary: Everyone always sees Heero and Duo as the perfect couple. But what if Duo finds out that Heero’s extremely possessive and jealous? And what if Heero finds out that Duo has a not so secret admirer?

Author’s note: This thing has taken me more than five years of my life, excluding the beta-reading, so I hope it will make you laugh and cry, it will make you hard or wet or horny or whatever, In short, I hope you’ll like it! :D Thanks to Lathroniel for the beta-reading.

"I Wish I Were You"

7. Toy smuggling

When Duo arrived upstairs, he gave a little sigh of relieve. Fortunately, Heero had bought the excuse of fetching the lubricant, and his plea to do it in another room. He didn’t want them to barge in while Quatre would still be in their room. It would raise a few annoying questions.

“Wonder how our little fellow is doing,” he said softly to himself.

Surprisingly, the first thing he heard was… a moan. Was he still not done yet? Had it come from the second door at all? He could’ve sworn it came from…

“Oh, god…”

It wasn’t Quatre’s voice!

“Wuffles?! You having fun in there?”

A wail and the sound of something smashing against the door followed his question. “Maxwell, leave me the fuck alone!!”

Duo chuckled and proceeded to his bedroom. Oh but, he was gonna find that book!

He entered, and looked around. Not a trace of Quatre to be spotted on the bed.

“I smell cum!” he yelled, sniffing.

“Duo, is that you?” It was the kind of timid probably only Quatre could do. It came from the bathroom, along with the sound of trickling water. Looked like he was cleaning the toy.

“If it wasn’t me, you would be in very big trouble. Heero’s very possessive when it comes to his toys. He wouldn’t like the idea of others playing with them,” Duo said, heading for the bathroom.

Quatre looked up sharply. “What?! Is this Heero’s?!” He was greeted with a jocular face, smiling at him from the doorway. “It’s not Heero’s, is it?” he grinned clumsily. “You’re taking me for a ride.”

In an instant, Duo was behind him and had his arms wrapped around him. Quatre could feel that he was hard. He wanted to believe that it was because of him. “Hmm… If I would take you for a ride…” There was a soft hiss, and the arms tightened for a moment. “You wouldn’t know what day it was. You wouldn’t know what year it was. You wouldn’t even remember your own name.”

“Duo!” Quatre gasped. In the mirror, he could see himself blushing fiercely. “Don’t… say such things.”

It was wildly erotic, the way Duo grazed his nose against Quatre’s cheek and pressed his groin against Quatre’s ass.

Quatre couldn’t stop the moan rising from his throat. He felt his knees go weak, and all he wanted to do, was to sink into Duo’s strong arms. “You shouldn’t be doing this,” he whimpered.

“I know…” Duo murmured. “I’m with Heero, aren’t I?” He sighed, almost resentfully, and took the toy from Quatre’s hands. The contact lingered for a moment. “Here, I’ll finish this off.”

And then the warm body behind him was gone. He made himself believe that Duo wasn’t attracted to him. That he was just messing with him. It was just a game.

Just a game.

Duo didn’t know. But it hurt so much. It felt like he spooned his heart out like a pudding, and ate it with great appetite.

“So, did it feel good?”

Quatre snapped awake from his thoughts. He cleared his throat in an attempt to compose himself again. “Yeah it… It sure did. You were right, it was wonderful. Where did you get it? I want to have one too.”

“Oh, that’s quite alright, honey,” Duo said, shaking water off the toy and drying it carefully. “You can borrow this one whenever you want.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Heero’s got one too. We can use his.”

The way Duo looked at him when he gave him the toy did strange things to him.

“Maybe you can think of me, when you use it,” Duo murmured. “But… maybe that’s not such a good idea.”

“No… maybe not.” Quate could feel his heartbeat humming throughout his entire body, could feel his lips tingling with the desire to kiss him. He gently shifted his tongue, the way it would move in Duo’s mouth. “You’re sure Heero won’t mind?”

Duo shrugged. “I’ll just tell him I lost it. Hell, I lose stuff all the time.”

The corner of Quatre’s mouth curled into a grin. “Thanks,” he said.

And then there was the most unsettling sound: Heero’s voice.

“Duo?”

It came from the entrance to the bedroom. Both Duo and Quatre’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Put that away!” Duo hissed, quickly helping Quatre to shove the toy under his shirt. He dashed outside the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Heero! What are you doing here?” Quatre heard him saying at the other side of the door.

“What am I doing here? Looking for you of course. What the hell were you doing there?”

“I couldn’t find the lube.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? We always keep it under the pillow. See, there it is.”

“Oh… must’ve missed it.”

Quatre could feel the crack in his heart bursting further. Obviously, they were gonna have sex. Again.

“Why are you so flustered anyway?”

“No reason.”

“Hn. So, you coming?”

“You go on ahead.”

“What is it now?”

“Need to use the bathroom.”

There was some more talking, but it got too silent for Quatre to understand. It ended with a lustful growl from Heero, and laughter from Duo. Then the door opened again, and Duo sneaked back in.

“That was close,” he whispered. “Okay, now I still have to smuggle you out of here. Heero doesn’t need to know that you were still here.”

It seemed like everything had to happen in a hushed and hasty manner now. Duo gingerly opened the door of his bedroom and peered through the crack. He was lucky: Heero was sitting on the bottom step, his back towards them. He opened the door more, and dragged Quatre behind him to the adjacent room. He quickly threw the toy into Quatre’s room, and, as casually as possible, strolled toward the stairs.

Quatre could only watch, helplessly, powerlessly, how Duo almost litteraly bounced down the stairs, and how Heero turned around and smiled. Idly he wondered, while he hobbled down the stairs behind Duo, if he really had these cute little dimples in his cheeks when he smiled.

He could feel a sudden sense of frustration coming over him. He wanted to know, he wanted to pull Duo back and demand an answer. What was the difference between him and Heero? Why did he run to Heero with open arms, and why was he only good enough to flirt with, but not to fuck with?

They both raced towards the lounge room, and, as far as Quatre could tell, blatantly shooed Trowa out.

“Are they gonna do it in the lounge room?” Trowa said, once Quatre had reached the bottom step.

“So it seems,” Quatre sighed.

Trowa frowned, and there was an exchange of glances at the impressive lexicon of Duo’s dirty talk. Then he cleared his throat. “Well, I’m not sitting on that couch tonight.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Trowa,” Quatre said. His lips were set in an ominously tight line. “When they’re done, I’ll have them scrub those cushions so hard, they won’t have any nails left to scratch their balls with.”

~*~

Quatre sat staring into his glass of water. It was the only thing he could still get through his throat. Yes, it had already come this far, he couldn’t eat anymore. At lunch too, they’d had to force him into eating at least half a plate of spaghetti, Trowa in the lead of course in his own gentle and careful way. No, I don’t like spaghetti, he had said. He was lying, he did like it. It only didn’t taste good, nothing did.

Of course, Duo and Heero’s spaghetti flirting, Lady-and-the-Tramp-impression might’ve got something to do with that.

The kitchen was remarkably quiet. No noisy Duo snooping around for food and sweets, no Heero trying to stop Duo from eating that much – wouldn’t want him to get fat -, no overly concerned Trowa trying to get to the bottom of his feelings. And even Wufei spent an awful lot of time in his room. One might start wondering what he was doing up there all day long.

He didn’t know whether to be relieved or sad to be sitting there on his own in the kitchen. It was kind of a two edged knife. He was relieved because he needed this solitude to ponder on his thoughts, but he was also aware of it that it could in no way be healthy to keep it all inside. He felt lonely, and sad.

And still madly in love.

A merry humming down the hall announced Duo’s arrival. The happy and higly satisfied smile on his lips when he came strolling into the kitchen made Quatre almost physically nauseous.

“Hey Quat,” Duo chirped. “Say, do we still have any cookies in store? I’m starving. Had a little too much exercise, you know,” he added with a cheeky grin, nosing about in the cupboards. “Ah, here we go!”

Quatre continued staring at his glass. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Duo sitting down next to him. Something hovered his way, and, peering up, he saw that it was a cookie.

“Do you ever stop eating?” he muttered.

“Well, I was gonna say, only when I’m fucking, but since last night, that’s not really true anymore,” Duo sniggered. “You really don’t want a cookie?”

Quatre suppressed the urge to promptly break down in miserable hiccups. He looked up at him and shook his head. “No thanks, Duo. So, where is Heero?” he said, before Duo could get the chance to dig into the subject of eating too little.

“Worn out, still lying on the bed, gasping for air,” Duo beamed. “No, I’m kidding. He and Trowa have gone to the store to buy some food.”

“But we only went to the supermarket yesterday, you and me. We bought an entire cart of cookies and I don’t know what else you’ve thrown in there.”

“I know, they’re buying the decent food now.”

Quatre laughed, genuinely. It was true that they hadn’t really bought anything that could pass for healthy yesterday.

Duo blissfully munched on one of the cookies. There was chocolate on his fingers, and he licked it off.

Quatre watched while he did it, and he could feel that pleasant, tickly sensation in his chest again. Duo’s tongue licking those long, slender fingers, pushing inside his mouth to be sucked clean. This morning, it had been his own fingers, disappearing into that warm mouth, and he bit his lip at the memory.

“So, what’s the stuff between you and Trowa?” Duo said, reaching inside the box for another cookie. “Any progress yet?”

Quatre sighed. Oh, this ought to be good. After the sex education, now a love-talk with the one he loved, but could under no possible circumstances touch the way he wished. Why not?

“Why do you want to know?” he asked softly, focusing on his glass of water again.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Quatre honey, but you look a little depressed lately. Is that because of Trowa?”

“Maybe… A bit… I don’t know,” Quatre stammered.

Duo decided that it was important enough to lay his box of chocolate cookies aside, and he put a hand on Quatre’s shoulder. “What kind of nonsense is that, Quatre?” he asked.

Quatre shrugged, eyes still directed at the glass in his hand.

“There’s something bothering you, isn’t there?”

Again a shrug.

“Talk to me about it.”

Quatre wanted to snort, but he didn’t. What should he say now? Yes Duo, there is something bothering me. The reason why I’m so depressed and eat so little is you.

“Come on, Quat. Get it off your chest, throw it all out,” Duo urged, softly.

Quatre looked up at him, struggling to keep his tears in check, and then looked down again. He was going to tell him. He just couldn’t look at him when he did. “Duo, I’m in love with someone. Someone other than Trowa.”

“Oh!” Duo couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice. “Someone other than Trowa?” he echoed. He had never really given it any thought. It seemed weird, that one of them would start a relationship outside of their close little group. “So that sex education, you didn’t do that for Trowa?” he asked softly.

“No, I didn’t,” Quatre sighed, shaking his head. “Partially, I did it for myself. I was tired of being so inexperienced. You and Heero are going at it all the time, I was wondering what felt so damn good about it. The other part of me just wanted to be…” close to you, he wanted to say. Be with you in the most intimate way I’ll probably ever get the chance to. The rest of that sentence didn’t leave his mouth, stayed safely in his head, where it couldn’t harm anyone, except for himself maybe. “I wanted to be ready in case the occasion might occur.”

Duo nodded his head, comprehensively. “Is it someone I know?”

Quatre smiled warmly. His eyes were soft when he looked up at him again. “Yes, you know him very well,” he nodded.

“I do?” Duo said, arching an eyebrow. “So who is it?”

On that, Quatre’s eyes saddened and his smile faded. It lay on the tip of his tongue. “Duo, I love you”. But he could never say the words. He didn’t want to be the one to ruin his relationship with Heero. True, he was jealous and envious on what they had, and he wanted that too. But not like this. Those two had found each other and were more than happy with that, and he couldn’t do anything to change that. All he could do was to rattle his head along the grid of his golden cage, a grid through which he could see, but couldn’t touch.

“I’d rather not tell,” he said.

“You know you can tell me anything, honey,” Duo said, noticing a stray bang of platinum blond and tucking it back on its place behind Quatre’s ear. His fingers lingered there and stroked slowly over Quatre’s cheek.

“I know,” Quatre smiled, warmed by the touch of Duo’s hand on his face. “But that person doesn’t know about it himself yet, and if he does it might bring him in a difficult position.”

“Why’s that?”

“He’s already seeing someone.”

“Oh, that’s a problem.”

“I know. What do you think I should do?”

Duo leaned closer. “I think you should talk to him.”

Quatre felt his heart racing. The feathers in his chest were tickling madly, and he felt his temperature rising. “You do?” he nearly whispered.

“Yes,” Duo nodded. “That would be for the best. You’re so careful all the time that you’re not hurting others, that in the mean time you’re oblivious of the fact that you keep on hurting yourself.” He gently poked his finger at the place on Quatre’s chest where his heart lay as he said those last few words.

And what if telling the truth meant that he would lose his dear friend? Yes, having Duo close to him like this with his love outside reach hurt him, but losing his friendship would destroy him. Duo, and the others too, hating him for his outrageous and stubborn wishes.

No, he didn’t want that.

“Promise me you’ll talk to him about it, Quat,” Duo said.

“I will.” He only said it to humour him, of course.

“Good,” Duo smiled, pulling away again after a quick kiss on the cheek. “So, does Trowa know about this?”

Quatre forced his hand to stay down, and not touch his fingers at the burning spot on his cheek where Duo’s lips had been. “No, he doesn’t. No one does. And I would like to keep it that way for a while. I know he’s my soul mate and I tell him everything, but sometimes he can make such a big deal of it, or start talking about it when I don’t feel like talking at all. You have no idea how tiring and annoying that can be sometimes.”

Duo squinted at him and the beginning of a crooked grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You know, Trowa cares more about you than just a soul mate,” he said.

“How do you mean?” Quatre said, bemused.

“Just ask him.” He stood up, but Quatre quickly took hold of his hand.

“Wait Duo, there’s still something I want to know. I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Oh.” Duo shrugged, and sat down again. “Okay then.” He waited for Quatre to stop fidgeting, and eventually, waved a hand in front of Quatre’s eyes when there came no speech.

“Um… Sorry. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“You’re embarrassed too much, Quat. Just throw it out. Whatever it is, I won’t eat you.”

“Okay, um… The thing is… um… Okay… Umm…”

“Okay, while you do that, I’m gonna take another cookie.”

Quatre quickly shook his head. “Yeah, um…” It was hard to figure out how to begin, when all he could think about was how he wanted Duo to kneel down on the floor and suck him off. With his head bobbing up and down between his legs, and Quatre grasping at his hair. “I was wondering…” His voice caught, and he cleared his throat. “Look. You and Heero… You’re serious about each other… Are you?” He did a squinting blinking kind of thing with his eyes, and scrunched up his nose.

Duo stopped in mid chew, and carefully put his cookie on the table. “You know, with that face, you’re making it sound like a bad thing.”

“It’s not a bad thing.”

“Good. Yes, we are serious about each other. Very serious. I know how it might seem like we're only together for sex.” Duo could tell by Quatre’s sudden frown that he shared that opinion. “Well, we're not. We care about each other. We understand each other, complement each other. Whenever I feel down, Heero knows exactly what to say to make me feel better again. And yes, we often have sex, just for fun, because we feel like it. But very often, it’s also born from passion, and affection. He does things to me. To my body. To my heart.”

Quatre could actually feel his skin goose bump. He thought that it must be wonderful to have such a deep connection with someone. “I see.” He craned his neck, as if he wanted to roll the thoughts around in his head. The dreamy expression Duo had on his face when he said all those things made him miserable. “I’m just confused,” he sighed.

“About what?”

“Well… You say that… But you also flirt a lot with other boys when you go out. You even have sex with them. Together with Heero, but still…”

“Hm yeah, I do that, don’t I?” Duo smirked. “Well, it is kinda hard to let go of my freedom.”

Flirting and loyalty. That was some tricky balance. “And what about me?”

“You?”

Quatre nodded, swallowing carefully. “Lately, you’ve been sending me these… signals. Like, that… you might be interested in me.” Duo just stared for a while. Quatre didn’t know what would follow next, laughter or… something else. Something more pleasant.

“Interested…” Duo muttered eventually.

“Yeah. Like the way you touched me last time when I was cleaning the toy. You were hugging me like that and… the way you pushed up against me.” He could feel himself growing hot.

Duo’s face lit up with understanding, and he shoved his chair a bit closer. A lot closer. “Oh, that,” he murmured. “Well, you see, Quatre. When I see a beautiful boy…” He moved his face closer to Quatre’s, and slid his hand up Quatre’s thigh. “It’s hard to control myself.”

Quatre closed his eyes in a moment of bliss, and gasped. “It’s wrong,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t want Heero to burst in here with foam on his mouth because I thouched something that’s his.”

Duo laughed. “But it’s fun.”

Duo was so close. Quatre could feel the warmth from his face. His mouth, his rosy lips. If he protruded his tongue, he was sure he could touch them.

“Why do you only do it with me?”

“I don’t.” Duo’s breath ghosted over Quatre’s ear, and he enjoyed how the boy flinched. “It’s not only with you. When Heero was in the hospital, I tried to defrost Trowa in the elevator. Without much success though,” he added with a wry grin. “And later on, I tried to coax Wufei into surrender in the cafeteria. Which was also rather disappointing. So ever since, I kinda gave up on those two. But you…” He made a low, purring sound in his throat, and squeezed Quatre’s thigh. “You’re such a deliciously compliant victim.”

Quatre sighed. He savored Duo’s breath on his face. He could smell the chocolate from the cookie. “I don’t mean to be. It’s just so fun to get all this attention.” From you. He didn’t say that. There were a lot of things he couldn’t say. He had to be careful. Duo might figure out that he was the boy he was talking about.

Duo’s breath had shifted. His lips were hovering above Quatre’s lips now. Just a hair’s breath away. Quatre had never noticed. Duo had the slightest of freckles on his nose. And a very tiny brown spot on his bottom left eyelid.

He wouldn’t kiss, he’d said that. He only kissed Heero… he was just playing. Just spooning his heart out and eating it.

He wondered if it tasted any good. It must’ve, otherwise he wouldn’t keep on doing it.

“Some day your prince will come,” Duo breathed. “Maybe he already has.”

“What do you mean?”

“Trowa. I told you, he sees you as more than just a soulmate.”

And the bubble burst. Quatre could almost physically hear the pop and feel the droplets on his face. Trowa didn’t fit into this picture.

“Ah um, yeah. You said that,” Quatre stuttered. “Yeah, I’ll ask him, of course.”

“Okay,” Duo grinned. He took his cookie, stood up, and headed for the door. “Oh, that’s right, I almost forgot,” he said, swivelling around again. “We got a letter from Relena this morning. She wants us to have dinner with her tomorrow, around eight o’clock, I think. Do you feel like going?”

“Are the rest going?”

“The rest are going. I refuse. I refuse flatly.” There was a genuine expression of horror on his face, which made Quatre laugh.

“Then you’ll be here all alone,” Quatre said.

“Keep me company? I promise we won’t get bored. I got great plans,” Duo grinned.

“Oh, you’re gonna give me sex education again?” Quatre chuckled.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Quatre shrugged and simply nodded.

“Okay, I might.” Duo couldn’t help noticing how Quatre’s eyes lit up. “Although that wasn’t really what I was planning on doing. You know, there is something that keeps Wuffles occupied in his room, some kind of book. He’s acting very mysterious about it. So much that it has made me very, and I mean very curious.” He gestured with his cookie while he was talking.

“You’re gonna search for it?”

Then, as if suddenly remembering that he was holding a cookie, he bit from it. “You bet I am,” he mumbled spiritedly through a mouthful. “It’s the perfect opportunity. But don’t tell him,” he said with a chocolate covered finger to his lips. “You’re gonna help me?”

“Okay.”

Duo nodded. “You’re going dancing with us tonight? For Wufei’s birthday.”

“Oh yeah, it’s Wufei’s birthday! Yeah, fine.” Maybe that would distract him a bit. Duo nodded again, happily, and left. Talking about Wufei’s antics and that mysterious book had enlightened Quatre’s heart a bit.

He sighed, nervously and excitedly. A night alone, with Duo, tomorrow. Something he could look forward to.

To be continued…

Chapter 8

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