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"Destination Eden"Written By: Lisa-chan
Disclaimer: The G-boys are not mine. I only use
them for loads of fun and for putting them in compromising situations
and stuff. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: yaoi, shounen-ai, voyeurism, slight
het, blood, angst, sap, OOCness, Relena-bashing, OC, AU on Duo’s
behalf. Pairings: 1x2x1, 1x3, 2x4, hints of 2+OC, 4x3
implied Summary: AC\200. The war is over, total peace
reigns. Heero loves Duo. Duo loves Heero. Only neither one is aware
of the others feelings. Who will make them find out? Author: Lisa-chan Author’s e-mail: m.van_kerckvoorde@planetinternet.be
Author’s note: This fic is a rewritten version
of a fic I once wrote, called Nobody’s perfect. Some might recognize
it. I’ve added parts of both Duo and Heero’s past, Duo about
his life on the street, Heero about his harsh training with Doctor
J. The original story, the one in their present lives, basically stayed
the same. I’ve also added a prologue and epilogue. I have indicated
AU on Duo’s behalf, especially concerning his past. No Maxwell
church, no sister Helen, no Sweepers on his fourteen years old. He
did meet Solo. But I’m gonna stop rambling now before I give
everything away. Don’t let the het scare you away, I promise
some good boys on boys action ahead ^_~ Well, enjoy! Reviews would
be nice. Thoughts in Italics ~o~O~o~ indicates flashback Thousands of thanks to Shenlong for the beta reading
^_^ ~*~*~ Destination Eden
All revelations and risen doubts left aside, it nevertheless had been a pleasant, more than pleasant weekend. It truly was tough to go back to work that Monday morning. He swung the door open and came dashing into his office, only to find a brightly smiling Heidi already sitting behind her desk. “Huh? You’re here already? How did you…” “Beat ya,” she said with a triumphant look on her face. “Dammit. Again. How do you do this?” he muttered. “One day I am so going to beat you.” They had made a habit of it to race each other to the office every morning. Not exactly like two adult employees ought to behave themselves, but it was a generally known fact that Duo still hadn’t grown up, was just a really big kid and was trying to relive his lost childhood. He didn’t care about rules, especially not when it was Relena’s rules, and seemingly Heidi was of the same opinion. “Cuckoo!” the cheerful voice of Quatre came ricocheting into the room, even before Duo had got the chance to take a seat. “So how was your weekend?” “Hey Quat!” Duo smiled at him, noticing the brown strands of hair that belonged to Trowa peeking from behind the door. “Hey Trow.” Quatre was staring at him with a mellifluous grin on his face, his hands folded behind his back, his eyes shooting questions. “So, tell me.” “Yep, weekend was fine alright. Couldn’t be better,” he said, squinting at the girl sitting behind her desk. “Say Quat, where is Hee-chan? Got to ask him something.” The blonde’s expression softened, having a slight suspicion what he wanted to ask his colleague. “He’s in his office,” he said. Duo turned to Heidi and whispered something in her ear. “I would like to talk to him in private. Please leave me alone with him.” “Very well,” she said, nodding her head. “So weekend was fine, huh? Is that all you’re planning to tell us? Give us the details,” Quatre pried subtly. A playful hand rubbed over his golden hair. “Shut your mouth,” the American said, though he bowed his head over to him as he walked passed him. “Thank you,” he whispered hardly audible. “Oh noooo!” Heidi suddenly squeaked behind him. “Duo, the computer crashed. Could you help me, pleeaaase?” He turned his head and looked at a face that tried to look just a tad too innocent. “Heh? Oh, alright,” he said, turning around again. “Let me see.” While he walked over to her computer, she shuffled towards the door, threw her innocence through the window on the way, and gave Quatre a significant eye signal. “Eh… Think we’d better leave you alone now. Bye Duo, Heidi,” he said, a comprehending grin on his face. Had the computer really crashed? No, of course not. It was yet again one of her tricks. Tricks he liked to be deceived with. ~*~*~*~ As he entered the office of the ex Wing Zero pilot, he found the man staring at the screen of his laptop, his fingers in a typing position, but not moving an inch. For once his eyes were far from inhuman, rather sad. The jolly jolts of laughing coming from Duo and Heidi’s office were daggers through his heart. While they were having fun, he got lost inside his head together with Duo where he kissed him, caressed him, made love to him and received love in return. Until that same person who was the only one able to give him pleasure and joy jerked him back to a painful reality when he cried out her name in surprise or gave a moan of excitement. He could hear everything so painfully clear. His office was right next to theirs, for God’s sake. He cared about him, but he wasn’t willing to show that. He wasn’t allowed to; To anyone. He saw someone coming closer from the corner of his eye. Duo. Eyes instantly back to cold and hard. “What are you doing here?” he growled, annoyed by the compassionate look in Duo's eyes. “Hee-chan, I’ve…” “Don’t call me that, *never* call me that,” he interrupted him gruffly. Neat! Start a conversation with sulky Heero. “Heero, I talked to Heidi last weekend.” “Bet you did a whole lot of other things with her last weekend as well,” he grumbled. “Are you jealous, Heero?” Duo asked gingerly. In the wink of an eye he had drawn his gun out of his pants and had it pointed at the braided boy. “How dare you insinuate something like that?” he hissed between his teeth. Knowing he shouldn’t take his threats too seriously, he continued talking. “I have eyes in my head, Heero. Even Heidi has seen, and she’s only been here for a week. That look in your eyes…” “Heidi has seen nothing, and neither have you. And if the both of you have it stuck in your heads that you *did* see something, then it has only been your own screwed imagination.” Yes, he was angry. He was enraged, and this time it wasn’t to hide his desires. He had every reason to be angry. When Duo came to him, it wasn’t out of pity, he knew that. He’d had far more experience with that than he'd ever wished. He knew the incident in Relena’s office six months back didn’t touch him, and even if he asked for forgiveness, he wouldn’t get it. Not if he didn’t mean it. Since then he hadn’t touched him anymore, hadn’t given him one single look. Somehow it had been a relief, but equally as much a disappointment. Duo became more and more convinced of the fact that Heidi was right, that Heero really loved him. He stepped towards him, hardly fazed by the gun gripped tighter and aimed more precise. “Don’t try to fool me. You were trying to hide it, but you can see it from miles away. Heidi saw it, Quatre saw it, Trowa too. Even Wufei. Everyone, except for me.” The gun in Heero’s slightly shaking hand, slowly, yet surely lowered. His ice-cold heart was trying to defrost. He was aching to confess, to just see that gorgeous boy wearing nothing but his rosary, but if he were to reject him he would either kill him or himself. “Heero, why don’t you admit it? I’m your friend. You can tell me everything that's on your mind,” he urged him softly. “Please Heero. It might relieve you.” His gun clattered on the ground, and the same hand which held the weapon at first was now searching for support on the desk, his other hand covering his eyes. What was he saying, what was he doing? What kind of new game was this he had invented? Wasn’t he the one who had thrown him on that couch, who had encouraged him to ditch Relena, said to find someone else and then said he wouldn’t be that someone else? What had happened to that boy, where did he go? The inscrutable enigma, his forbidden fruit. “Heero,” Duo said softly, reaching out his hand to touch his friends’ arm. “Don’t touch me. Stay away from me,” he growled, shrinking back even more. “If you touch me now I… I will…” “Kill me, Heero? You’d really do that?” Duo said, picking up the gun from the ground. “Could you be that inhuman, to kill your closest friend?” “My inhumanity knows no boundaries. Even towards myself I must show no compassion,” he said, his voice shivering and still not showing his eyes. “I must show no compassion. I must… show… no compassion.” A very thin, glittering stream ran down along his cheek and his shoulders softly shook. What Duo had never deemed possible was now happening right in front of his eyes. Ever since Heero was a child, he had been drilled to be the Perfect Soldier, a feared murdering machine who didn’t know sadness, didn’t know happiness, didn’t know fear. The Perfect Soldier now was crying, there, right in front of his eyes. After, for as far as he knew, 20 years of harsh training and 5 years of being in love with his own comrade, he had finally broken down. “You don’t know what it's like to be forbidden to feel anything at all, Duo. To kill without even the slightest remorse. He has drummed that into me since the day I first lived with him, has purged me of all emotions, and that while feeling is perfectly normal to an outsider; It’s human nature to love. But me, me he turned into the ultimate weapon, regardless of the fact that he was dealing with a human being instead of a machine. It’s so horrible, Duo. I don’t want to be like this. I’m so sick of this lack of emotion.” “I know that,” Duo responded softly, handing him his gun. “And I’m glad that you finally realize that. It’s not only that you were never able to show emotions, you just refused. You always thought it would endanger the missions, and your training. Missions were always more important to you.” “Yes… always,” he sighed, his breathing becoming rather heavy. Trainings? Not only those trainings. Rather the one giving those trainings, the one exhausting him, seemingly delighting in seeing him tired and covered with scratches, and even told him it was good for him. He had to show him respect, obey him, otherwise he would get punished. And did he want that? No please, I beg of you. So what did he do? Training, listening, cringe from him without appearing to be cringing. Feel pain, sadness, hatred, but most of all don’t show that he felt pain, sadness or hatred and deny those feelings until he himself believed he didn’t feel any pain, sadness or hatred at all. “You see, Duo, that’s why I have to kill you.” No longer crying, but with a ferocious look in his eyes now, he pointed his gun back to his friend. “Because of you, I feel, and that is not allowed. I’m sorry pal, but I have no other option.” “You fool,” Duo hissed, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him against the wall, his full body length pressed against Heero's. “I’d never thought you’d be so stupid, to actually kill the one you love.” “I don’t love you,” he breathed. Flagrant lie. “Is that so, Heero? Then why are you sweating? Then why is your breathing a lot heavier than usual? Then why is you heart almost pounding out of your chest?” “Maybe because you’re pressing me up against the wall,” he practically moaned, still with a sarcastic undertone in his voice, refusing flatly to admit. Ah, that Duo thought he would admit just like that? Nice try, buddy. “Then what’s that, Heero Yuy, that I’m feeling in the front of your pants? Gun? Didn’t think so, you’re holding that in your hand.” He didn’t say anything, but a muscle at the corner of his mouth twitched. Dammit. Caught red handed. “Hear that heartbeat, Heero. It’s so fast… So fast. You’re dying to show me what you really want, dying to fuck me, ain’t that true, Heero?” Heero swallowed hard at the undeniable truth, but still didn’t give in. “I don’t love… Gods, don’t do that,” he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. Duo’s hand was going along his groin, and for a brief moment the thin line between friend and lover scattered. “Don’t do that if you don’t mean it.” There upon Duo drew his hand away again, destroying all the vain hope Heero fostered. “And what about Relena then?” he asked. “As far as I know you still haven’t ditched that girl.” The Japanese rolled his eyes in annoyance. Was it really necessary to drag her into this as well? “Relena. I don’t love her. The only reason I stay with her is for a good fuck every once in a while, well as far as you can call that any good. It has always been you I…” He abruptly cut his sentence off and looked his friend in the eye, the fear clearly in his own. “There, you’ve almost said it yourself,” Duo said. “Why don’t you just admit it, Heero? You know it, I know it. No use denying it any longer.” From amidst the warmth of both their bodies, his gun suddenly reappeared, the barrel being pressed right between Duo’s eyes. “Go ahead and kill me, Heero. I don’t care if I live or die,” Duo said calmly. Heero was being hurled back and forth between his pride and feelings he was no longer able to push away. It would’ve been so easy to pull that trigger, to yet again kill someone, but he wasn’t entirely sure that he would still be able to live if he were to lose another friend of his.
You could almost cut the tension, and although Duo did his best to make it appear as if he wasn’t scared, his still pounding heart told him differently. He forced his breathing to stay regular and could only pray to the God he didn’t believe in that Heero would love him enough not to kill him. Duo knew he loved him, so much was obvious now, but his fear for Doctor J was constantly rivaling with that love, and at times it even overpowered it. Religion might not have been his best quality, Christ, not by far, but praying he did at that moment and secretly clutched the crucifix of his rosary through his clothes. A singing girlish voice hovered its way into his office, coming from the hall. “Heerrrroo…” it purred. “Have you already taken care of that file from… who was it again? Oh, whatever.” For a moment Heero’s eyes flashed a most murderous gleam as he recognized Relena’s voice and slowly he let his gun sag, hating her for interrupting them at a moment like this, a moment when he had a throbbing cock in his boxers, caused by the only man who could possibly ever do that. “Heero?” she said again. “Are you in there?” She peered through the chink of the door and finally came in. Both men squinted at her, Duo moving away only a tiny bit, still maintaining enough body contact between them. They didn’t need a genius to tell them the file of 'who was it again' was only a pretext. Her blouse was half unbuttoned and this morning she had forgotten to put on a bra. “Heero, what’s going on in here?” she asked suspiciously, swiftly crossing her arms over her half-exposed chest when she saw Duo was with him. How he cursed her, the stupid lass. So many times she had yelled at him, asked him to kill her. “Heero, come and kill me!” It was almost like a never ending lament which kept on reverberating in his head. Why had he never done it, he who didn’t have a conscience? “Heero, I asked you something,” she demanded sternly when he didn’t answer her. “Well Relena,” Duo said in Heero’s place, pressing his hips a bit closer again. “Heero was just about to suck me off, ne Heero?” Although the wound of Hilde’s loss was still fresh in his heart, the temptation to fall back into his old roll of “Flirtatious scumbag” was too great. He couldn’t resist, not now, not in this situation, not with him. “Duo, mind your own business and shut the fuck up. I wasn’t talking to you,” she hissed. “And for God’s sake, get your paws off him.” Duo ignored her however and firmly squeezed Heero's buttocks, making Heero gasp. “And why not? He has done it before, don't you remember?” he whispered, still loud enough for Relena to hear it, while he swiftly flicked his tongue against Heero's ear. “And then we screwed, fucked each other like there was no tomorrow. God, that felt so good. Something no woman in the world could possibly give.” To both their surprise, Relena seemed to stay surprisingly calm. “I’d say *someone* is too many in this room,” she growled, looking significantly at Duo. Again he thanked the heavens that her eyes were no machine guns. “I was just about to say the same,” Heero said dangerously, his voice low, raising his gun to her, his eyes bent on murder. Victory! Duo had conquered yet again, and a triumphant snigger rubbed it all the more in her face. He finally tore his body away from Heero, stalked his way to Relena and bent over to her until the tips of their noses almost touched. “Game over,” he said softly. From Duo’s smirking face, she looked back to Heero, and to her dismay she could clearly see what his tight pants couldn’t hide. Apart from that, she was still facing his weapon. So? it wasn’t the first time he had threatened to kill her, not at all. But now, his gaze was devastating and feral, to say the least. She couldn’t deny that this time, all she felt was fear with that gun pointed at her, combined with that murderous look in his eyes, which she saw coming from him for the fist time, at least towards her. “Well, I think I’d better leave you two turtledoves alone now,” Duo grinned, living to see Relena in misery. How much she hated him, now her look almost pleaded for him not to leave her alone with Heero. For the first time since she knew him, she was actually afraid he would kill her, like he had killed so many people in the war. Heero on the other hand was almost glaring him out. “Yes, you should do that,” he growled, his furious gaze hovering back to his girlfriend. As Duo left the office, he almost bumped into Wufei. “Hey Wu-man! How they hanging?” he said merrily. “Say, Wuffles, if you hear a gunshot, it’s Heero killing Relena.” Wufei chose to ignore the little nickname. “Oh, is he planning on killing her again?” he said, like they were discussing today’s weather. Nice cozy sun, not too warm. Oh have you already heard? Heero’s on the warpath again. “Yeah, although this time he seemed pretty serious. Hey Wuffy, wanna play a game? Ooh, I know a funny game!” “Oh no, not another game. I’m tired of those games of yours.” “No no, you’ll love this one!” Duo cheered, excitedly jumping up and down. “Let’s play Russian Roulette with Relena, but with a gun with no bullets, only she’s the only one who doesn’t know there are no bullets. That will soooo freak her out! Waddya say, waddya say?” Childish brat! “Leave me, Maxwell. I’m not in the mood for your hyperactivity right now,” Wufei said grumpily, heading in the same direction as Duo, and by that was obliged to listen to his rattling. Wufei didn’t like all that fuss. He just wanted to work and be left alone. Duo knew that, still he flirted with him as relentlessly as with the others, risking a broken nose every now and then. “You’re never in the mood,” Duo smiled, carelessly shrugging. “Bet you didn’t have any part in organizing that date as well.” “Date? What freakin’ date are you talking about?” Wufei said confused. “Thought so,” the American sighed. “Whatever,” Wufei muttered. “Must’ve been all Quatre’s idea anyway. Trowa would never even consider starting such things, and Heero’s in love with you.” “Ssh! Not so loud, dammit! Does the whole building need to know?!” Duo hissed. “What? That you and Heero are in luuuv?” the black-haired man teased. “For the love of God, cut it out! Since when do you like pestering people anyway?” “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Wufei reassured him, turning his back at him and waving him a lazy goodbye. “The whole building already knows. Why bother?” “What?! What did you say?!” Duo yelled, about to explode and not realizing the boy was pulling his leg. “Face it, Maxwell. Winner and Barton are no longer considered as the only gay couples around here.” “Oh yeah? And what about you and Zechs then, eh?” Duo counterattacked. No reaction followed. Feeling a wee-bit ridiculous, he watched the retrieving figure of Wufei and stuck his tongue out at him, feeling even more ridiculous as he sensed someone was watching him from the door of his office. “Don’t you ever dare to call *me* childish again,” Heidi scolded playfully, amused by his sudden bashfulness as his eyes caught sight of her. He sauntered over to her and leaned against the doorpost. “Heidi! You heard all that?” he whimpered miserably. “Uhu-uhu,” she said excitedly, nodding her head with her big, childlike eyes. “Boy oh boy, think of all the things we could do now.” A little impish chortle escaped her. “Has everyone lost their mind here?! Is there something contagious hovering in the air?! Heero wants to kill Relena again, Wufei all of a sudden feels like pestering me and now this!” he cried out, throwing his hands up in the air as he spoke. “Easy does it,” she reassured him. “Only foolin’ around.” He tried to believe her, but the mischief glistening in her dark-blue orbs annihilated that frail possibility. From now on he would just have to be on his guard and await what she was up to next. ~o~O~o~ “I hit it! Look, daddy, I hit it!” “You hit it. What the hell are you waffling about now? It was miles off!” ”No it wasn’t, daddy. I saw the can moving.” “Don’t argue with me! And call me Doctor J!” A box on the ears and he tried again. Aiming, cocking the gun. Did he do it right? “Tomorrow we’ll shoot rabbits.” “What? Rabbits?” Heero said startled. His head swiveled to where Doctor J was standing, making the bullet swerve and hit a bird. A pheasant, to be more precise. Startled eyes shot to the fallen bundle of feathers and he ran toward it as fast as his short legs could carry him. He kneeled down and picked the velvet animal up. Childlike tears peeked from behind his eyelids, and with a pouting lip he looked up to Doctor J. The latter didn’t say anything, but the grin on his face showed his satisfaction. He straightened with the bird tightly clutched against his chest and shuffled to Doctor J. “Good boy. That one will be our dinner,” he said, snatching the bird from in his arms. “And stop crying, boy. You're five years old now. Five year old boys don’t cry.” But he had to cry. He had killed something that lived. Just like that. And Doctor J said he couldn’t cry. Why not? “Rabbits tomorrow.” Heero trotted alongside Doctor J and tried to look him in the eye. The man was wearing dark glasses however. He always wore those, making his eyes invisible. “No daddy, no bunnies. I like bunnies.” He had seen them a lot in the garden. Warm balls of brown fur with long ears and a wiggling little nose. Another tick against his head. “Doctor J! And stop arguing with me!” That night, pheasant was their dinner. The next day? Rabbit. To be continued…
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