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"Destination Eden"Written By: Lisa-chan
Disclaimer: The G-boys are not mine. I only use
them for loads of fun and for putting them in compromising situations
and stuff. Rating: NC-17 Warnings: yaoi, shounen-ai, voyeurism, slight
het, blood, angst, sap, OOCness, Relena-bashing, OC, AU on Duo’s
behalf. Pairings: 1x2x1, 1x3, 2x4, hints of 2+OC, 4x3
implied Summary: AC\200. The war is over, total peace
reigns. Heero loves Duo. Duo loves Heero. Only neither one is aware
of the others feelings. Who will make them find out? Author: Lisa-chan Author’s e-mail: m.van_kerckvoorde@planetinternet.be
Author’s note: This fic is a rewritten version
of a fic I once wrote, called Nobody’s perfect. Some might recognize
it. I’ve added parts of both Duo and Heero’s past, Duo about
his life on the street, Heero about his harsh training with Doctor
J. The original story, the one in their present lives, basically stayed
the same. I’ve also added a prologue and epilogue. I have indicated
AU on Duo’s behalf, especially concerning his past. No Maxwell
church, no sister Helen, no Sweepers on his fourteen years old. He
did meet Solo. But I’m gonna stop rambling now before I give
everything away. Don’t let the het scare you away, I promise
some good boys on boys action ahead ^_~ Well, enjoy! Reviews would
be nice. Thoughts in Italics ~o~O~o~ indicates flashback Thousands of thanks to Shenlong for the beta reading
^_^ ~*~*~ Destination Eden
Chapter 10 He woke up when he felt a wet nose pressing against his hand. His eyes dragged open, and nestled against his leg lay a soft brown heap of fur on four legs with a head and a tail, begging for food and attention. He smiled to the little animal, but couldn’t banish the creepy thoughts it evoked in his head. Yesterday had been his sixth birthday, a birthday he didn’t know about himself. Doctor J had never before celebrated his birthday or given him presents. Needless to say it’d had the effect of a slight earthquake to see him there trotting over to him with that dog in his arms, a red ribbon around its neck. Tears had sprung into his eyes and he had hugged the little puppy close to him. It was so funny to see him wagging his tail, see him jumping up against him with his short legs. “Do you like him?” Doctor J had asked. His voice didn’t sound merry, but it never did. Heero had got used to that. “Yes, I like him very much, Doctor J,” Heero had smiled. “He’s so cute.” Then Doctor J had still given him something else. Something black and cold, something that didn’t have a red ribbon. “What do I have to do with that?” “Shoot him.” Heero didn’t understand. Why would he want to shoot his lovely present? And so he had questioned Doctor J. Vaguely he could remember him saying something about “having no feelings” and “killing without regret,” but he had been too confused and angry to pay any further attention to his words. For the first time in his young life he had someone who wouldn’t snap at him, who was happy to see him, and he would have to shoot him? Ever since he'd been born he had been dragged to and fro, from one place to another. His father, his real father, had done a moonlight flight when his mother was pregnant with him, and so his mother had given him up for adoption. In the orphanage they had always ignored him. They fed him and looked after him, but that’s where it stopped. Foster family after foster family had rejected him. It seemed as if nobody wanted him. Still he was a beautiful child. He didn't cry an awful lot, almost never, actually. That was probably the reason why everyone found him so weird. His mother, who already had been determined to give him up, had become even more determined when he hadn’t uttered a sound at birth. The doctor had still given him a tick against his rear end, but he didn’t cry. Yet he wasn’t dead. He breathed, opened his eyes, got a healthy color. But he didn’t cry. At least, that’s what Doctor J had told him. He looked up, and behind the roofs of the houses he could see the first soft colors of dawn. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Doctor J tooting he had to get up. It was in the direction, quite logically, from his bedroom. He didn’t move. If he needed him, he would have to search for him. A sudden shiver reminded him how cold it could be at night outside, and he clasped his little dog close against him to chase the cold away. His new pet whined and still wondered what was taking his food so long. “Hush now, little one. I won’t shoot you. I promise,” Heero soothed the animal. He knew it was only a matter of time before Doctor J would find him and again would obligate him to do things he didn’t want to, but he held the animal close. “What are you doing here?” a voice suddenly hissed behind his back. He bravely crawled upright with the dog in his arms and collected as much nerve as possible to look Doctor J straight in the eyes. “You told me I couldn’t go to bed as long as my dog was still alive. And I didn’t. If need be, I’ll sleep outside every night, but I won’t shoot him,” he said resolutely. He knew he was blatantly challenging Doctor J, had just crossed the line to address him in such a manner, and he had already closed his eyes to take the first blow that was sure to come. The smack had been harder than he had expected. He hit the boulders he had been sleeping on, causing him to lose his grip on his little friend, and the animal was smashed down with a sharp shriek. “Mishka!” Heero shouted. “You gave him a name?!” Doctor J roared indignantly. “Of course I gave him a name! What did you expect me to call him? Dog?” Second blow. Heero felt blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth. Doctor J reached for the untouched gun he had left with Heero yesterday. “Shoot it,” he growled. “No,” Heero said stubbornly, crawling to the shivering ball of coat. A muscle twitching at the corner of the man’s mouth betrayed that he was slowly getting enraged but tried to suppress the hurricane that tried to claim him. He took a deep breath and lay the gun back. Without saying any more, he took Heero’s little hand and pulled him with him. “Where are we going? Doctor J, what are you gonna do? I want to stay with Mishka! Doctor J?” Heero yammered, in vain trying to pull away. Mishka licked his lips and started sniffing around. He still wondered what was taking his food so long. He barked silently as he heard noise on the street and idly took a leak against a bush he found. His ears shot up in surprise as he suddenly heard screaming. He followed it, until the backdoor blocked his way and so he stood on his hind legs to scratch against the wood. The distant sounds became louder, more painful. They seemed to last and last. Sensing there was something going on, but not knowing what, he hid under a wooden crate with a hole in the front of it, that had to pass for a kennel. Finally he heard the screams fade away, and the backdoor opened again. A strong hand raised the crate, and with his innocent eyes he looked straight into the barrel of a gun, held by a little boy who had a far too worn out skin for his age. “I’m sorry, Mishka.” ~*~*~*~ Next morning he drove to work with an opposed feeling in his chest. Only the tiniest token of affection shown towards him, and it would be screwed. And the reaction of Quatre, Trowa and Wufei, God. Especially Quatre, the other two were more sober. But if he knew, the entire building knew. And that couldn’t happen. He should be very clear about that. All of a sudden his stomach gave a twist. He hadn’t told Duo they had to keep this a secret from Doctor J. Heidi knew about it, but, dear God, Duo had been already asleep when he had told her. Knowing Duo, he would at once fly around his neck the moment he set one foot inside. How could he prevent that? He thought hard, but the only thing he could find in his head was to wrap himself in barbed wire or something like that. The case was already doomed, even before he had arrived at work. The whole ride he had been racking his brain, but really nothing would do the trick. Dammit, he should’ve brought his dog. Nine, attack! With lead in his shoes, he stepped out of his car and headed for the building, through the main entrance, into the elevator. He had barely stepped out of the elevator, when he heard the loud voice of Duo. “Hee-chan! So glad to see you! How’s your dog doing?!” he cheered. In a fit of naïve happiness, he kissed him full on his mouth, oblivious of the fear readable in both Heero and Heidi’s eyes. “Duo!” she hissed. He pulled his head back with a dumb face. “What?” he asked sheepishly. “Can’t I kiss him?” “No,” she said, turning her head to Heero’s desperate face. “I’m sorry. I forgot to tell him.” “Tell me what?” he asked confused. They heard footsteps behind them, heavy footsteps which Heero knew were from Doctor J. His eyes weren’t visible through the thick glasses, but undoubtedly they exuded rage. “You! Office!” he barked sternly at Heero. Heero obeyed him just like that. The expression on the old man’s face was more than enough to make the other two shrink back in their office. “Tell me what?” Duo asked again. “That we must be careful about this whole situation,” she hissed. “Doctor J can't know about it. Didn’t you listen to his story yesterday? About the dogs? If he’s already being punished for caring about a dog, God knows what he might do if he finds out he loves you!” Duo looked at her with his big eyes, but then lowered them with the realization of what he had just done. “Oh boy,” he sighed miserably. “I’ve… I’ve got to go and help him.” He ran to the door, but before he could open it, Heidi stopped him. “I wouldn’t do that. I don’t think it would help him a lot.” “But I-“ “Leave him, Duo. Doctor J’s already infuriated enough. It would make him even angrier, and he would take it out on Heero.” He sagged his shoulders and heaved a sigh. “Oh boy,” he said again. ~*~*~*~ It had been a long time since Heero had felt so uncomfortable in the presence of his master. When he had barked “You! Office!” at him, he hadn’t meant Heero’s office, but his own, and he knew that couldn’t be a good thing. With the door locked, not a single window, and thus no possible way to get out, he was plain terrified. He didn’t know what Doctor J would do, only that he was enraged, and that meant he was unpredictable. He could burst out in howls of fury, beat him black and blue, even punish him the way he used to do 14 years ago, but for now he was calm. Deadly calm, too calm, so calm it frightened him. Slowly and threateningly he stalked around him, like a predator sneaking upon his prey. He knew Heero was scared, knew he was aware of what he had done. He loved someone, and that was a grave mistake. He cared, and that could not be accepted. “Are you afraid, Heero?” he whispered. “Don’t be afraid. You shouldn’t be scared of me. Because you shouldn’t be feeling at all!” he suddenly shouted. The calm before the storm was over. His rage resulted in a tempest with his voice as the thunder and a rain of reproaches. “You are a Perfect Soldier! Perfect soldiers don’t feel! They fight and kill, but nothing more! Is this the way to thank me, Heero? Is this what I get in return?” “For what?” Heero retorted. “For ruining my entire life? Should I thank you for the pain, for the beating, for all those times my heart tore apart when I shot those dogs?!” “I did that for your own good, you know that! If I had've trained you differently, your life would’ve been ruined far more then it is now!” “Oh, so you admit that…” “Let me finish, dammit! You were destined to be a Gundam pilot, you were destined to kill. And if I have raised you with love and care, you would mentally die every time you kill.” “But the others then? Why weren’t they raised like me?” “I’m not responsible for them. But they’re all raised in a different way, and Quatre’s the worst one of all. Duo just does it as a sport, Wufei fights to become stronger, and Trowa, that guy’s just inscrutable.” “But you can’t desire of me that I don’t care at all. How long are you planning to keep me this way? Until total peace reigns over the world and outer space? That will never happen! There will always be some kind of mission to prevent any enemies from ruining all that peace.” “As long as necessary,” Doctor J replied simply. Heero was surprised, not to say slightly shocked about himself. He had never quite dared to discuss things with Doctor J like this, not ever ventured to speak up like this, and it surprised him that he hadn’t got a smack in his face yet. Up till now, he hadn’t really gotten the chance to prove his point like this. Next trump card: Relena. “And what about Relena then? For three years I’ve had a relationship with her. Why did you allow that?” “Oh, Relena,” he said, waving his hand in annoyance. “You can barely call that a relationship. Anyone could see you didn’t love that girl. Well, anyone except for herself. Besides, I considered it as a step ahead in your training. Next to the dogs, you also had a lass. Really a shame you dumped that girl.” “Are you saying that I should’ve killed her as well?” “When you would’ve become too attached to her, you indeed would’ve had to kill her, yes.” “But that’s insane!” he yelled. “She’s the former queen of the Sank Kingdom and now she’s Vice Foreign Minister! And another thing. Duo has been flirting with me all the time. It killed me, and you knew that, I’m sure of it. But did you say something? No! Why not, Doctor J?” “Duo had a relationship with Hilde, he loved her. I didn’t see any danger in it. Besides, it was good to harden yourself.” “You really are sick, you know that.” “And now,” Doctor J continued, ignoring his remark, “you are in love with Duo. Make the conclusion yourself, Heero.” He barely let his words the time to penetrate his ears in seep into his head. “Doctor J, I am not going to kill Duo. Those who fight me are my enemies. And I will kill them. But Duo’s not my enemy. Besides, murder is punishable.” “What are you driveling now? I have made connections during the war. I can hush it up just like that.” As corrupt as it was, Heero knew that sadly it was the truth. There was nothing more he could say to that. “I’m telling you, Heero. It’s the best for you when you, and you alone, kill him, no matter how.” With his stare colder and harder then ever, Heero looked at him. “No,” he growled. “You refuse?” “Yes. When he touched me…” “He touched you?” Shouldn’t have said that. “Yes, he touched me,” he said nervously. Doctor J squeezed his eyes half shut behind his glasses. He found it utterly suspicious how Heero was behaving. Touched him? Just a stroke along his arm or a hand on his shoulder? Then why was he so nervous? “Where did he touch you?” Heero quickly lowered his eyes and averted his face in a poor attempt to hide his reddening cheeks. He had learnt from his own experiences that lying to him was not an option, but if he told him this, then he could expect bad things to come. “Did you fuck him?” “No.” “Don’t lie to me! For God’s sake, I can’t believe you lower yourself to the level of such bestial activities.” Bestial activities. Boy, such scientific words. Just say fucking like horny beasts, will you? “I’m not lying!” Heero yelled. “I didn’t fuck him!” Doctor J grinned as a matter of course. “Of course not, he fucked you…” “We made love to each other. That’s not the same.” Doctor J gave a swift nod with his head and took something out of the pocket of his white coat. “Very well. If you will follow me then,” he said, heading for the door of his office. Heero recognized the object Doctor J had taken out of his pocket and he knew what it was for. It was the key of a machine that could create shockwaves that gave you the feeling your limbs are being ripped out. “No,” he said again, his voice clearly shivering now. “Please don’t…” Six years old he was when it had been the first time, and thank God, also the last time he had felt it, but it still stood vividly in his mind. He didn’t want to feel that pain again, he was afraid of it. He feared the pain, that pain. When Doctor J paced towards him, he shrunk back to the door. Without thinking, he turned around and ran away, but before he could reach freedom, he felt a sharp pain in his neck and fell unconscious on the ground. When he woke up again, his eyelids were sore when he opened them. He felt weak, tired, apathetic. What kind of drug had he given him this time? It took a while before he remembered what had happened just now. He had been scolded because Doctor J had found out he loved someone. The old man had been more than enraged, had taken a key out of his pocket, had knocked him down. And now? Where was he now? He looked around. The blinding light reflecting on the stark-white walls pained his eyes. His sight was blurry and in a weird kind of blot there in the distance, he could recognize Doctor J. He was standing next to a machine. “Ah, you’re awake. At last,” he said, his voice echoing in the large, creepy room. “I must congratulate you. You have managed for 20 years to keep a hold on your emotions and feelings. That’s a very long time, very good. I’m proud of you.” Heero lifted his head to see him better, and it was only then that he realized he was lying on a table, that same table he remembered from his childhood. His wrists and ankles were tied with strong, leather belts, and he was clad in nothing more than his boxers. On several places on his body he had little white patches, and small wires came out of them. “Now however,” Doctor J continued, “instead of strengthening that inhumanity you have built up for all those years, you let it get destroyed by some pitiful brat you call your lover. Heero Yuy, are you ready to accept your punishment?” “No,” Heero said softly, shaking his head.” Doctor J, no. You cannot do this.” “I’m as good as your father. I can do anything I want,” he growled, and with a callous movement, he plunged the key into the ignition, turned it around and pulled a handle down. Soon, all Heero’s organs of sense were eliminated. He didn’t see anymore, didn’t taste, didn’t hear. He only felt. Starting from his feet an all consuming, sizzling heat rolled through him and scorched his entire body. His head tossed back, tears ran down his temples, the belts tore the skin of his tugging wrists apart, but that was nothing compared to the searing, electrifying heat that crept into him, a pain that felt like his every fiber was being torn, one by one and excruciatingly slow. Scream after scream shot through the room with every shock and his breathing came with fits and starts, but, strange as it was, in the end he got used to the pain, and his cries decreased. It was all Doctor J seemed to be waiting for, for suddenly the shocks stopped. Physically he was broken, ruined, but that wasn’t enough. Something that had never happened before, not in his childhood and not under any other kind of punishment, took place now. He could see visions in front of his eyes. Just flashes in the beginning, lasting only a split second, but it didn’t take that long before the images stayed longer and he could see a human form. Someone with short, dark brown hair and blue eyes. Average size, young and slender. He saw himself, standing in a dark street with no houses, only trees that all looked alike, in the pouring rain. In his arms he held a large bundle wrapped in a raw matter. He was walking, his eyes and the entire expression on his face a mixture of grief and the inhumanity that kept on chasing him. Step by step, his place of destination drew nearer, although it seemed to take forever until he had reached it. Finally he stopped. He had arrived at a large, deserted field, the soil muddy from the rain. Suddenly the bundle in his arms moved, and a muffled sound came out of it. Heero saw his own mouth moving, but the words came only afterwards, which caused a very incoherent whole. “Dammit… Is he still alive after all?” Almost disgusted, as if he was carrying a revived corps and only now realized it, he saw himself throwing it on the ground, and when a part of the fabric fell away and revealed what it had been hiding, he felt like he wanted to vomit. He really had been carrying a living corps. The edges of the blanket were traced with red, and cradled a scarlet face. A shuddering breath left his mouth as he hit the ground. If he could’ve, he probably would’ve closed his eyes to protect them from the rain, but his eyelids were gone. So was the rest of the skin of his face, and for as far as he could see his entire body. His long hair was soaked with blood, although he could still see a gleam of chestnut shining through it. “Hee-chan…” he rasped hoarsely. The few remaining feelings that were still left, flowed out of him and a sickening pain took their place. It was his buddy, his friend, his lover… his Duo. He wildly shook his head, wanting the visions to go away, but they stayed. Whether he closed or opened his eyes, it was all the same, he kept on seeing them. He cried out to Doctor J to make it stop, but the only result he got was that the images got clearer. Duo’s lower jaw moved. Maybe he wanted to ask why Heero had done this, but he couldn’t, for his lips were ripped away as well. Then he saw himself taking out his gun, and pointing it to the boy on the ground. Duo let out a relieved sigh, contented that this torment would finally come to an end, but instead of killing him at once, he first shot his one arm to smithereens, then his leg, his other leg, the other arm, and finally, when he had almost bled to death, his scarcely beating heart. Cruelty, inhumanity, he had learned it from the master. Doctor J simply made the Heero on the table witness how the Heero in his head slaughtered his own comrade. Was it a real prospect of the future, or was it just something his superior wanted him to see, he couldn’t say. Either way, when he had buried Duo and had planted a self-made, wooden crucifix with his rosary hanging over it on top of his frugal grave, was he was relieved and immensely glad it was finally over. To be continued… |
