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"Alternative Directions: Options "Written By: Karina Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the lovely
boys and their girls in the series. Wish I did. Please don't sue me.
I haven't even got a brass razoo to give you. Rating: Deffinately PG in Australia, at the moment,
but probably safer to say R for later chapters. Not sure about international
ratings Warnings: It will be 6x2, even though it does
not start out that way. After all, Zechs and Duo never met in Gundam
Wing and only spoke briefly over a com line in Endless Waltz. I've
tried to keep them in character as I saw them in the series. A bit
of language creeping in under stressful conditions. Pairings: eventual 6x2, past 2xH, 2+H,6x9, 1+R
Summary: Directions is set post Endless Waltz
and roughly 2 years have passed. Zechs and Noin are on Mars and Duo,
after spending some time with Hilde in a relationship leaves L2 to
join Preventers. Hilde was not happy about his decision. I guess enough
said. Here t'is, and I hope you like it. This is also AU for the standard
setting, as well as the series and Endless Waltz. Spoilers: Gundam Wing Series and Endless Waltz Many thanks to Dulin for volunteering to beta this. //... // thoughts
"Alternative Directions: Options"
Chapter 91 Mars Base Dome Time: 22:20 [Approx 20:10 Sanc time] Zechs There was no time to allow himself to shake like a leaf with reaction or to crawl in a corner and ignore the world. There simply was not the time to allow himself to cater to his fears or to weep as he wished to over the gravity of the mistake he had made. It was a mistake that had proven to be near fatal, not to himself, but to a man who certainly did not deserve the treatment he had received. He had to make up for his unthinking reaction and terrors. He could not even blame it on visions as he had to be honest with himself, now above all and acknowledge that no one was to blame for the near fatal mistake other than himself. Haydon Giles had only ever tried to help him and for his trouble he had nearly killed him. He had lost control. He had committed the unforgivable sin of losing control in a situation where he had command decisions to make. He must never lose control, he knew that. It had been drilled into him at the academy that a commander must always be in command of himself and never could permit himself to lose sight of the goal or the game plan to attain that goal. He was a highly trained professional and still he had made that fundamental mistake and he knew why he had made it. The truth was that he had not thought, only reacted to the impression of a body hurtling at him through that gap and as a result he had very nearly killed the man who had tried to help him since first they had met. //Reflex. Pure uncontrolled reflex. A reaction to the tension and stress we are under and as a result I nearly killed Giles. I am tired and I am in no fit condition for this, but there is no other alternative. I have to function and I have to function at command level and just pray to whatever God might be inclined to listen to me that I get this right. There can be no more mistakes allowed.// There was also Noin to be considered in this situation which seemed never ending and to have no clear solution. He needed to find a secured location for her, a safe place where they could give her the medical attention she so desperately needed and he had to face the fact that by moving her he could be killing her. It was a danger that they could not avoid, as to leave her here, at the mercy of the remnants of Blue Squad and what remained of the Sleepers was not an option. She would die if they left her in the tower and they could not get her to the sub base without chancing the freight elevators and she had already warned him that they were trapped. Her contacting him as she had, had revealed that she, like he, was one of the Gifted. He had never suspected it. Not once had he suspected that she might have had psionic abilities and when he had the chance he was going to have to try to learn why they were different. It might have been coincidence, of course, but somehow it seemed to have sinister implications that the two top performers in Oz should prove to be something more than what was termed normal. It raised many questions he did not have the time to face, but he was curious about one of those questions. What about Treize Kushrenada? He, like Noin and himself had been far above the highest performers of the Alliance, with Lady Une coming in fourth. All of them had been from the aristocracy of the old European block countries, disturbingly healthy physically and extremely resilient. Was there something hidden there, or was it coincidence? He had no time to pursue that question, but he would if he could come through this trial on top. He needed to keep his focus and guide events to a satisfactory solution and just pray that something happened and the Wellington did not come to Mars. He could not see what he could do against the might of that cruiser without weapons or trained personal. For now he must just concentrate on getting Noin to medical services and settled safely out of the firing line. Which begged another question that he needed answered. What was it that Giles was not telling him? There would assuredly be a great deal that had been glossed over at their meeting or simply not mentioned in the interests of survival, but his major concern now was the question he had avoided pursuing after Noin had contacted him and which now held implications concerning Noin's health. At this moment there was no time to ask that or other questions that would delay their escape and use precious oxygen when they could least afford it. There was no time to delay and ask questions that could wait in favor of survival as there had been someone else in the Shuttle Control Tower and they had had to escape. He had not considered it expedient to investigate that mysterious person, being tied up with moving Noin and Giles into the relative safety of the ground floor office and then in helping Giles to recover from the attack on him. He had not wanted to kill again and if it was Simpson or Frazier, as he thought it most likely to be, or a Sleeper, then the longer they could escape notice the better. He had feared that burning through the floor would bring the intruder running, on smelling the fumes, but they had remained undisturbed and that had allowed them to gain entry to the vents. To escape the tower unseen had been his main concern and it had not been easy to come up with a solution, but he had devised a means of escape and it should serve them well enough in reaching medical assistance for Noin. //Are you still alive, Lu? I'm sorry, but we really had no choice about moving you. We had to take the opportunity to remove you to safety while we could. Giles is hiding something about what happened in the tower. Something happened in that room and he does not want to tell me what he thinks is wrong with you, but I think that I can guess. You need help and not just for that, but for what happened to you before. Was my vision right? Am I right about you being shot with one of those shock guns? If my vision was true event, then are we killing you by moving you? I'm sorry. I am very sorry, but I think that you would have wanted to take the chance instead of remaining there, at the mercy of Blue Squad. If they even know what mercy is. Hang on, Noin. You have to hang on to life for our children. Don't you dare allow that vision of your death to become reality. You have to live.// Pain lanced through his shoulder, a sharp reminder of the abuse he had suffered so far during this test of his survival skills, but that pain must be ignored. His body was one huge mass of aches and pains that needed to be ignored at this time. Noin rested against his back, her length stretched along his body and seeming so small compared to his greater height. Her body was so light against him as he slowly inched his way along the vent. Giles had tied her to his back carefully, binding her to his chest and each leg to his own to keep her balanced. Her oxygen cylinder was tied in a looser knot to his back, allowing him to move it about at need as they maneuvered through the vents. The old vents were barely large enough for him to make this movement possible with Noin strapped to him. He had to crawl on his belly and push his own oxygen cylinder ahead of him and though he had less than a few centimeters on either side of him he had a little more room than that above him. It was a tight enough squeeze for someone of his bulk at the best of times, but with the added bulk of Noin and the cylinders they needed to survive this trip he was acutely aware of the tightness of his situation and the potential for disaster. He had refused Giles' offer to be the one who carried the load that was Noin and he had refused for good reason, not simply because he saw Noin as his responsibility. He was certain that he had broken at least three of the man's ribs in his unthinking attack on him and he did not intend for Giles to place unnecessary strain on his body. Too much damage could be caused by Giles wriggling on his belly and carrying a load on his back in these cramped vents. There was the equipment they needed in the shuttle they were aiming for that would allow him to make Giles more comfortable and until then he would not have the man place any unnecessary pressure on his body. He owed the man. Breath rasped in his lungs and he tried to breathe evenly and lightly, hoping that there was sufficient oxygen in the tanks to last the laborious journey ahead of them. Noin would last the longest of them, of course. She was breathing lightly, shallow breaths if a little rapid, but she was not exerting herself physically and therefore her need for oxygen was less. It was he and Giles who were in danger of running out of air, exerting themselves as they were to find their way through this maze of old shafts, using the oxygen even though they tried to regulate their breathing and make it last as long as possible. They had to traverse the old vents for a considerable distance before they could enter the newer vent system where oxygen was sure to be circulating. “You okay?” Giles voice came out of the darkness ahead of him and he spared enough energy to muster a grunt, the only sound he had the strength to make. It seemed not enough or else Giles had not heard him however, as his voice sounded strained and a little panicked. “Zechs?!” //Damn. I'm fine, Giles just get on. I need to wallow in my anger for a while longer to give me the strength to get us through this. If I let the anger go I will not have the strength to manage.// “Fine. Move.” Silence for a moment and then the feet against which his oxygen tank now rested moved and Zechs breathed a sigh of relief, inching forward once again. Ahead he heard a hissed breath that he recognized as a muffled response to pain and he forced himself to clamped down on the apology that wanted to be repeated. He knew that Giles would only waste oxygen by telling him to shut up with the apologies as that was a waste of breath better used to power their crawl through darkness. Giles had a torch with him but Zechs rarely glimpsed the light and the darkness was oppressive, bothering him more than he had hoped. It seemed that he had not lost the fear birthed in the recent past, but it was just something else that needed to be ignored in favor of moving. He had no time to indulge in such useless phobias. He froze at the muffled roar that reverberated in the vents, the unmistakable sound of an explosion echoing through the vent, shaking the surface around him and threatening to bring back unwanted memories of that other cramped darkness. He chanced a glance back over his shoulder but could see little beyond darkness, his body was too large to allow him to see if the light from where they had entered the vent could still be seen streaming into the shaft. They were a fair distance from the cutaway section where they had entered the vent and he doubted there would have been light visible if he could have seen past Noin on his back. She felt warm against him and that gave him hope that she was recovering as she had been too cold when he had carried her from that room. As the last echoes faded he was aware that he could not hear Giles moving ahead of him and by inching the oxygen cylinder ahead of him he contacted the man's feet. A sigh of relief escaped him, the relief crushing the sudden fear that had blossomed that he had lost Giles due to the distraction of the explosion. “That sounded close.” Giles murmured. “We need to get out of here.” “As quickly as we can.” he agreed, turning his head and peering over the bulk of the cylinder, trying to see that reassuring if dim glow that was all he could make out of the small torch Giles had strapped to one wrist. “Any sign of that junction yet?” “No. We can't be all that far from it though. I think it safe to say that our sense of distance is distorted in here.” He refrained from replying though he agreed with the assessment. He wished that they could have brought spare oxygen but they were in no condition, neither he nor Giles, to carry around the added bulk that entailed and they needed to rely on speed. It was slow and laborious work to crawl through these cramped ways without weighing themselves down with added and possibly unnecessary equipment. Now they needed to get on and place as much distance between themselves and the office where they had entered the vents as possible. Someone at some time would investigate that explosion, be it Blue Squad or the Sleepers, but now he worried that perhaps he had made a mistake and that someone had died. Someone innocent. The stairs had been trapped and he had not had the time to remove those charges. Was it possible that someone from the Terra Formers had entered the Control Tower and fallen afoul of the traps? Why would they have taken the stairs instead of the elevators? He had used the elevators to get Noin and Giles to the ground floor, checking it for traps quickly and finding none, but he had not been able to remove the traps from the stairs. It made more sense for the explosion to be triggered by a terra former than a Sleeper or by a member of Blue Squad but he could not know for sure. If it had not been what he must think of as the enemy, then there were more deaths on his conscience. He just did not want to think of it now or he would not be able to function. If Simpson and Frazier had not been the cause of the explosion which had sounded very close, then it was possible that they could return to the Shuttle Control Tower very soon now and discover that Noin had been taken. They would search the tower and it would not take them long to discover the hole he had left in the floor of the office in the tower. They were both bright boys and they would quickly realize that the vents would lead them somewhere and he did not doubt that they would learn where that somewhere was. Or it was possible that the men would simply crawl into the vent and come after them. He hoped that if they did take that last option that they would get hopelessly lost in the maze. “Zechs? Are you with me still?” “What is it?” he paused as the cylinder bumped into stationary feet. “Three way intersection. Left, right and straight ahead. Which way?” //Three way intersection. Think man. You memorized the vent system now concentrate and make certain that you get it right. There is no margin for error down here.// “Right. Take the right turn. You should come to a T junction next.” “It's a pretty tight turn here. You will need to go carefully considering that you have Noin. Ah, shit!” “Giles?” he froze, barely breathing with sudden terror of being stuck in the vents alone. The darkness was haunting, a reminder of the time when he had lain in terror and pain unimaginable, crushed under displaced machinery with only the occasional arc of electricity from ruined circuitry to light the sealed suit that he was certain would be his coffin. “It's okay. Just got my rump a bit wedged and there is a rough edge that gave me a bit of a thrill.” If Giles, who was so much smaller and slimmer than himself got himself caught at the turn it did not bode well for his chances of negotiating that turn with Noin strapped to his back, but considering the circumstances he simply was going to have to manage. Why, when they had built these air shafts did they not build them closer to the size of the newer vent system? He could ask himself such stupid questions until he ran out of air and suffocated and it would do him no good. At least Noin was slender and strapped as she was to his back at least she was not likely to flail around half way through the turn and seal their fate by wedging them in. Still, he was going to lose that faint grayness that was the light Giles wore totally in a matter of moments and he really did not want to lie here in the dark. It was too much like being trapped in agony in the failing Epyon. “Zechs? You okay? I'm around the corner.” Lying in the vent hyperventilating in growing terror was not going to get him around that turn. He had to pull himself together and get past this problem which was, face it, only a small obstacle because he had faced bigger problems and over come them with a lot less fuss than he was putting on for facing a simple thing like a bend in the vent. Nor would it be the only obstacle to be overcome while they were in the vents, but he did have to ask himself why did the designers of the system had to do ninety degree turns. Why could they not put in nice gentle curves in vents instead of sharp narrow corners? He could not even see the junction, let alone the turn he had to make. Light flashed ahead of him, a dim glow that thankfully illuminated the turn for him and he resisted the urge to sob in relief. At least now he could see where he was going, even if it was only just. The light seemed to shed little in the way of illumination, but it would do and it was the very best that they had anyway. He pushed the oxygen tank forward, hearing it scrape over the metal, resisting the urge to grit his teeth in reaction to the tooth vibrating noise. At least it was an honest noise and harmless, not something that could mean imminent disaster to them. Inch forward, degree by degree until he faced the turn and could consider how best to tackle it with Noin strapped to his back. He certainly could not simply take her off to get around the corner and then tie her back on again. “What do you think?” The voice that floated from beyond that light, out of his immediate sight, was a comforting whisper in the darkness. He needed to hear that voice and allow it to ground him and remind him that he was not in pain in the darkness that had been Epyon, his coffin, and with a sigh he inched his oxygen tank around the corner, using it to measure the space that was going to be available to him. “I think I am likely to leave bits of myself behind, but I can do this.” //I hope.// “Try not to leave too much of yourself behind like I did. When did you last have a tetanus shot?” Giles voice sounded rueful. “I'm current. I had one before leaving for Mars. You?” “Yeah, I'm okay too. Raydon makes certain we have every shot available before leaving Station on an assignment. Just as well, because I left a good bit of myself behind on that seam. Mind that edge.” He could see what it was that had scratched Giles, a jagged edge of poorly welded metal where two pieces of metal were folded and welded together to form a join half way around the turn. Looking at it he decided that it was very likely that he was going to leave a part of himself on that edge in trying to negotiate the turn. He was wider than Giles and he had no convenient hammer on him with which to bash it into submission. That thought produced a grimace when he realized that in fact he did have something that would do the job, he just had a problem reaching it with Noin strapped to him. He had no leeway in which he could reach behind him, even rolling to his side would not help as Noin's form stopped him from having sufficient room to reach back in the cramped confines of the vent. His arms were stuck in front of him for the duration of this little excursion and there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was lament the fact that he had not found another, more convenient way out of their predicament. //You chose the vents because there was no other way available that could give Noin a fair chance, so just get on with it.// He muffled the moan as his shoulder, already abused, scraped over that small sharp protrusion but he remained silent knowing that there was no help for it. With the sheer size of him he was going to be scraped and cut in more than one place by the time he was around this and he preferred that he take the damage and not Noin. The worst thing about it was in knowing that once he successfully negotiated around this corner that a short distance up this next leg of the vent was another corner just as sharply angled and narrow to be negotiated. With quiet determination and a hard clamp on the pain he forced his way around the turn, having a few horrible minutes when he got firmly stuck as Noin's body shifted a little at just the wrong moment. Giles was his life line, however, backing himself up until his feet were hooked over the oxygen tank and Zechs could grasp his ankles, his own feet scrabbling for purchase to push himself forward and around the corner while Giles inched forward, dragging at him. Muffling a scream of pain at the pressure on his abused shoulder and sinking his teeth into his bottom lip he finally came free of the bend and dropped his grip on the mans ankles, apologizing at the muffled grunt from Giles at the abrupt move. “Sorry. I just have … just have to rest a minute.” “Fine. Me too. Not a problem.” Giles was panting into his oxygen mask from the sound of it, himself needing the rest after the exertion needed to get him around the turn. For a few minutes there was only the muffled panting behind oxygen masks and the rasping breaths to be heard, then by unspoken agreement, they were moving again endlessly inching forward. To his great relief the second sharp bend in the vent at least proved not to have any sharp edges to score skin and tear clothes and was negotiated successfully with a little more grace and at the cost of far less skin. “Where to next?” Giles queried as he began to move again, the light bobbing around a little as he pushed his tank forward and dragged his body after it. Zechs took a moment to review his mental map of the vent system and having given Giles a little room began to drag himself along once more. “Straight ahead until you come to a four way junction. It should be a fairly wide one, from the blueprints. There will be a maintenance ladder which will lead down to another vent system.” “A wider area? Would there be enough room there, do you think, for us to change Noin over to me? You need a rest. I can hear it in your voice.” He had hoped that it had not been all that noticeable, but it was a price he had determined to pay when he had chosen the vents. “There will be no time for that, even if it is large enough for us to move her. We have to reach the juncture where the new vent system joins this one before our oxygen runs out and I think that I should warn you now that I have a small problem with being in tight, dark places, Giles. I really need to get out of this vent.” No answer was forthcoming, just the scrape and drag of the oxygen tank and body ahead moving came back to him and Zechs grunted softly to himself as he pushed forward. At least Giles did not ask unnecessary questions and got on with the business of moving. He really needed to get out of the vents as soon as possible. He had not found himself in a position that was so reminiscent of being in the wrecked Epyon before now and he was not enjoying the resurgence of memory that resulted. For a few minutes they continued in silence, Zechs carefully reviewing the blue prints he had memorized and considering which path to take that would likely speed along this very uncomfortable journey without compromising their safety. What he needed to do was remind himself that it was actually a lot more comfortable to be here, in the vents, than to be a prisoner of the ESUN and being transported to who knew what nightmare and lose his children to the machinations of politics. The vents were better than surrendering to the ESUN. //What do I have to look forward to? Realistically, what does my future hold for me? It is time I asked myself if there is any place that I can be free from the ESUN. Giles and Raydon have offered me sanctuary on Station One, but will even there be free of those who hunt me? From what I have seen of it and learned of it Station One is a haven for displaced soldiers from all sides of the war. When they become known to the ESUN and recognized for what they are then the ESUN will try to control the station. They have done it before, repeatedly in history and should they ever learn that I am there then I would be hunted again. To be killed or to be used as a tool against Relena and her peace. Not even Raydon would be able to protect me from that. I am simply too dangerous to be allowed to live free. After all, I might decide to blow another hole in the planet again. Oh, your spirits are low, Marquise. Get a life and get on with it. I have to have some hope that there is light at the end of this effort. It would have been so much easier for everyone if I had just died when I was supposed to. Why did I not die?// That thought startled him and he hissed a soft breath in disgust. He had thought himself to be improving in his outlook and leaving that question behind him. Once, soon after waking from the explosion to find himself under Raydon's knowing gaze, he had seemed to do nothing but ask himself why he had failed to die when the Libra blew. Since that long ago day, and especially since he had come to Mars with Noin and taken his psychiatric sessions with the psychologists sent to Mars to learn what they could from him, he had improved to the point where he had thought that he had accepted that he was alive. He had thought he had accepted his life and that he needed to find a secure home for himself and find a means by which his family-his children would find safety. Though he had not expected to have a family nevertheless he had one and the children meant everything to him. Now, here it was again, that horrible little recurring question, rearing its ugly little head up when he could least afford it. //It is because of this bloody black hole I am crawling through. I need light … Black hole?// “Giles stop!” “What? What is wrong?” The sounds from ahead stopped and he could imagine the man freezing, probably trying to look over his shoulder uselessly to see if something was wrong. “The ladder. The ladder that leads down to the next level. Be careful from now on, as there is a hole in the floor of this vent. If you push your oxygen tank into that hole and loose your grip you will rip the mask off your face and lose the tank.” A silence filled the vent for a lingering moment and then small sounds of movement from ahead of him told him that Giles was moving again, perhaps with exaggerated care, but the man would suffocate in the bad air if he lost the tank. A soft grunt followed by a low curse invaded the darkness, then another silence. “Okay, I found the hole. Thanks for the warning, Zechs, I could have lost the tank.” more rustling of cloth and scraping from ahead. “How far down does this thing go?” “The blue prints lead me to believe that it should be a drop of approximately fifty feet or so. The vent at the bottom will have a declining slope that will be facing down, toward the newer vents and the shuttle bay. We will need to be more careful about maintaining a grip on the tanks.” “Right then. When you get here you will have to get your tank over the hole and to the far side, then pull yourself across the top of the hole and lower your legs down first. Are you going to be able to handle the tank while you climb down the ladder? You've got Noin on your back so you won't be able to strap a second tank to you.” //I really wish I could have found another option to this path.// He gripped the tank tightly with one hand, freeing the second to rub at the edge of the face mask where the mask was irritating the skin of his lower jaw. “I'll just have to manage.” “No. No, we can work something out. I think …
Just a sec.” It sounded workable and he merely grunted in acknowledgement, too tired to offer a protest to the offered plan. He was tired, sore, hungry and thirsty and he was concerned that they would not have sufficient oxygen to make it to the new vents. He did not even want to consider the possibility that the vents they had to enter might be filled with noxious and toxic fumes from the elevator fire. The buildup of smoke into the upper dome suggested that there was a problem with the vent system and he wanted enough air in the tanks to get to the shuttle bay if his fears should prove to be fact. Getting into a position where Giles could take over the management of the tanks proved to involve a delicate dance over the gaping black maw of the hole, but it was a feat they managed to accomplish and when finally they faced each other through the rungs of the ladder he could only grin in relief at their success. “Well, hello there. I must say that I prefer this view to the view of your butt.” //Not that I had any light to view said butt, but who needs to know that?// “Ah, shit. He's delirious. I will have you know that I have been told I have a cute butt.” the Raider grinned back. “If you don't like my toosh then you can go first for this next stint and I'll let you know what I think of your butt when we get there.” Zechs winked, grin widening. “I will have you know that I have it on good authority that I have a very gropeable butt, thank you. Or so I heard recently.” Giles laughed, adjusting his grip on the ladder. “Yeah, I seem to recall hearing something about that recently. Don't let it swell your head. How far are we from the shuttle bay?” “Not so far now, distance wise, but it takes time crawling through the vents and we have a fairly narrow access hatch to negotiate.” “We'll manage. How come you have a problem with dark places? You never struck me as claustrophobic before.” Zechs sighed, carefully placing hands and feet as they worked their way down the ladder, careful not to interfere with each other and to move in tandem, pacing each move. The shaft was not exactly spacious but it was considerably wider that the vent they had been crawling through and he had a little leeway to move with Noin strapped securely to him without her scraping the sides of the vent. “I was trapped in the Epyon for two days, pinned in the wreckage and unable to move. The suit shut down all but basic life support functions and I spent that time in the dark. I don't remember all that much about it, mostly nightmarish glimpses of the dark and arcing electricity near me, but I still wake up wanting to scream some nights. I guess that I was unconscious most of the time, but I was aware enough to be glad that in the sub base we have low voltage lights on when we sleep. If Raydon's men had not found what was left of the suit and pulled me out of it when they did, I would not have survived another day. By that time I was comatose and it was about two weeks before I woke.” Giles sighed softly and nodded, maintaining the rhythm they had found that least interfered with the other. “Can't be too far now.”
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