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"Alternative Directions: Options "Written By: Karina Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the lovely
boys and their girls in the series. Wish I did. Please don't sue me.
I haven't even got a brass razoo to give you. Rating: Deffinately PG in Australia, at the moment,
but probably safer to say R for later chapters. Not sure about international
ratings Warnings: It will be 6x2, even though it does
not start out that way. After all, Zechs and Duo never met in Gundam
Wing and only spoke briefly over a com line in Endless Waltz. I've
tried to keep them in character as I saw them in the series. A bit
of language creeping in under stressful conditions. Pairings: eventual 6x2, past 2xH, 2+H,6x9, 1+R
Summary: Directions is set post Endless Waltz
and roughly 2 years have passed. Zechs and Noin are on Mars and Duo,
after spending some time with Hilde in a relationship leaves L2 to
join Preventers. Hilde was not happy about his decision. I guess enough
said. Here t'is, and I hope you like it. This is also AU for the standard
setting, as well as the series and Endless Waltz. Spoilers: Gundam Wing Series and Endless Waltz Many thanks to Dulin for volunteering to beta this. //... // thoughts
"Alternative Directions: Options"
Chapter 15 Mars Base Dome Date: 28th February AC 198 Time: 04:40 M.S.T. [Mars Standard Time] Noin "Shh. It's only a dream, love. Only a dream. You can sleep in peace now." Noin lightly ran her finger tips over the furrowed brow, lightly touching her lips to satin soft skin, her voice a soothing whisper. "It's alright, Zechs. It's only a dream." The low voltage light from the opposite side of the bedroom offered eyes starved of natural night lighting the chance to orient and move around without distress. It gave her sufficient light to see the wide cradle where the twins slept and it allowed her to admire with breathless wonder the form stretched out beside her. He was silk and satin under her hands. That mane of white blonde hair was in glorious disarray about him, spread over the pillows. She delighted in running her fingers through the silken lengths. Always like silk. Only one part of him that she loved. Long strands of pale silk crowning his head and tight curls at that most intimate place she loved to caress. That was the only hair on him. The smooth muscular chest was hairless and she delighted in running her palms over his ribs, up to caress the darker gold nubs of his nipples. He was delightfully sensitive to the lightest of touches. The slightest caress would draw some response from him. It was his downfall on the night she had gotten him drunk. His own body had betrayed him. // I am not proud of what I did, but- God! // she grinned as she lightly drew the covers lower, displaying the slender waist, tapering toward narrow hips. He was all hard muscle and sleek flesh. // I have no regrets. I never thought I would actually get my hands on his body. When I look at the twins I definitely have no shame about seducing him. You are a bad girl, Lucrezia. A very bad girl. // He shuddered under her hand, not the small ripple of pleasure she could arouse in him, but the deeper tremble she recognized as troubling dreams and she sighed. The nightmares were getting worse. It seemed he never slept now without the dreams haunting him. Memories, she was sure, of the war. He had never been a rabid killer, despite what so many thought. Never a rabid killer, but definitely efficient. Like most everything he did, he was efficient. Did he dream of fighting the Alliance? Or further back? The old nightmare of the fall of his home? Watching them kill his family. He had lost so much in his life. She had lain in their bed and soothed him on so many nights. Perhaps this time he dreamt of the time he spent healing after the Libra exploded. The scars were surprisingly few on that glorious body. Most from training accidents, she mused, some she certainly recognized as being from the early days at the academy. Most were barely visible, the most recognizable one being the oldest. Curiously, it was the one scar that never seemed to fade as time passed. The bullet hole from the night Sanc was taken the first time. So few scars, though, considering the life he had led. She had more scars than he. Almost all old scars on him. A few she could point at and say with certainty came from the time of the war. She had delighted in learning his body since that night and it puzzled her that few scars looked fresh enough to be from the destruction of Libra. She had never had the courage to ask him how he had survived and with what injuries. Some scars she remembered from minor wounds sustained over time were faded almost entirely. He had always healed well, physically. He rolled away from her, a low murmur of protest she knew was not against her touch, but against the dream. Sometimes he woke at the slightest touch, and at other times it took her half the night to draw him out of the dreams. That roll did, however, give her the advantage of that deliciously broad expanse of back open to her exploring touch. He had pulled the sheet with the move and her hands had a life of their own, curving over the satin skin of his buttocks. Lucrezia snuggled close, pressing her length against him, spooning to his shape and pressed her lips between his shoulder blades, blowing the silken hair gently to tantalize him. So much creamy golden skin open to her seeking fingers. He tasted divine. "It is only a dream, Zechs. You have to wake up." she kissed the lobe of his ear, sucking gently. "Just a dream, love." "'S not." the breath of a whisper, almost a groan, almost inaudible in the darkness. "Just a dream, baby." soft assurance. "You'll die, Lu." a whisper in the dark. "They will come and you will die." Lips pressed to his shoulder she considered him in silence. Sometimes he made no sense, either while he was sleeping or newly awakened, she made absolutely no sense of his mutterings. She carefully levered herself up, leaning over him to lightly brush aside the long bangs he hid behind, only to find his eyes closed against her. Perhaps this was one of those conversations they would have while he slept. Or chose to pretend to sleep. "Are you awake?" "Yes." a whisper. "It was just a dream. You've had them before." Lightly she stroked his arm, finger tips tracing shoulder to wrist, a light caress, soothing. "I'm still here." "They will come for them. To take them from us. From me. You could go with them. They will allow you to mother them, so long as you don't talk about me to them. Do it, Lu. Go with them. Don't give them cause to kill you." "So long as I don't talk to who about you?" frowning she touched her lips to his shoulder. Sometimes, if she got him to talk about the dreams he would be reasonable. Sometimes he just did not make sense. Sometimes they would just talk circles, nothing coming of it. Who would come and take their life apart this time? Could the man not have just one pleasant dream, for a change? "To our children. I'm not a fit parent, Lu. That's why they are coming. I'm sorry. It's because I survived. Its all because I survived the war. I changed things when I took Heero's place, destroying that section of the Libra. I was supposed to die. I'm so sorry." whispers in the night, the dark room only a shadow around them. A sigh. "Zechs-" He would not open his eyes. Would not allow her that expedient method of judging how bad this session would be. "Noin, listen to me. You've never asked me why I did it. Why? Why didn't you ask?" Tonight was going to be bad. He would make absolutely no sense and she resisted the urge to curse. For a time he had been almost at peace, but the dreams would always return. For days, weeks- no dreams; then months of nightmares and he would make little sense. She could only hope the cycle of dreams would break soon. This was wearing her down. "I know why you did it. For Peace to happen. It's in the past. We have two beautiful children. This is an independent colony. We have a right to be here, Zechs. We helped build this place. Our own blood, sweat and tears has gone into the forming of this place. Our children are the first Martians. This is their world." "You don't understand at all." the deep voice whispered. "The ESUN won't allow me to be near them. We were not supposed to have children, Noin. They were not happy when they learned you had come with me. If you had remained on Earth, you would be safe from what is to come. It would not have been necessary for this to happen." "I don't understand why you dwell on things that no one has control over, Zechs. No one can know what will happen in the future." Her fingers tangled in white blonde hair and she resisted the urge to tug gently. Some days she could pull his hair out, he exasperated her so. "If you could know all possible futures, what would you do, Noin?" // What?// she stared at the cascade of white and silver silk entangled in her fingers. "I don't understand. What do you mean?" He shrugged against her breasts, a lifting of broad shoulders. "If you had it in your power to see all possible futures leading from a certain event, what would you do?" She slipped her arms around his waist, pressing against the broad back, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder blade. His scent was exotic, alluring. Heaven help her if he continued to wax philosophical. If only he was feeling amorous, not talkative. Sometimes that happened and she could only wish tonight had been one of those nights. "From what event?" Better to humor him and try to nudge the subject around. Try to interest him in more than mind games. Physical games were so much more rewarding. "From any event you might choose to focus on. From the moment Sanc fell. The second time. What would you do, if you saw all possible futures from that point in time?" "Even the greatest psychics could not face off against that one, Zechs. All possible futures? I don't understand what you want me to say." God, his voice was so alluring. So sexy. Deep and low, husky and-just too sexy. One hand slipped to trace light, teasing patterns over his hip, slowly, slowly, teasing. Inching lower. "I don't want you to say anything. I want you to think, Noin. I want you to think about what you would do if you knew how things were going to be. What if you saw your best friend run over by a car and die because a drunk driver was let through a road block. If you could change it by pointing out to the police that the driver was drunk, even though he looked alright, would you do it?" he pressed a hand to cover his eyes, a shudder rippling through the large body. "What if then you learned that your friend had overdosed on drugs and died? If you could do it again, go back and change things. What if you let the driver through the road block, but you run out into the road and pushed your friend out of the way? He's hurt but he's taken to hospital and they realize he has drugs in his system and he is saved that way. What do you do if you saw all those possibilities, Noin? Which future for your friend do you choose?" "The last. He would be hurt, but alive." //I have no idea where this is going. Sometimes it's best to just humor him.// Her teasing fingers were turned aside, gently but firmly by a larger hand grasping her own in a secure, though tender grip. "And a year later in a fit of depression he looses control and takes a gun and kills people walking through a shopping mall. For no reason. For no sane reason at all he kills ten people. If you had let him die in the first place, those ten people would not have died. What is worse, one of those ten people was a heart surgeon, who in a few years time would have saved the life of a person who would bring peace to the world. Yet another of those ten would murder seven women before he could be caught and brought to justice." For a long time Noin was silent, thinking. //God. Where the hell has this come from?// Confused. A hypothetical situation that sent shudders down her spine. What was he thinking about? Where had this come from? What was he trying to tell her? She just did not understand the complexities of his mind. He had had many sessions with psychologists after coming to Mars. One of them, Dr. Janet Marshall had worked with him for months and in the end had been confused by him. She had said he was many things, but insane was not one of them. She had not known what Zechs needed - or thought he needed. Noin knew that her psychiatric report on Zechs had not been well received on Earth. "I don't understand. I don't understand what you want me to say, Zechs." "I don't want you to say anything, Noin. I want you to think about it. Was it the right thing to do? Was your choice of possible futures the right one? Which choice was best?" "We can't know the future, Zechs. It doesn't work that way. It does no one any good to pursue `what if'." Noin lightly stroked his hip. "I know you are not yet over Libra. I know it still makes you dream. I've listened to you scream often enough. It's past, Zechs. `What if' will not help. That's just dwelling on the past. We need to think about our future. Mars has a bright future ahead and our children are a part of it. We are a part of it." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zechs He sighed. Deep, heavy. Tired. He was so tired. No one understood. No one even tried to understand. No one could see it as he did. No one had done the things he had done and perhaps in the entire Earth Sphere there was only one who could truly understand. He was very tired of being alone in the midst of a crowd. Tired in general, even physically. It was a physically demanding life style they led on Mars. No one ever took the time to look beyond. Here and now, or in the immediate future. That was what people were guilty of. Thinking only of the here and now. No one really sat down and thought through the consequences of every decision they made. Every decision. No, why should they when one would spend one's life wasting away, afraid to even breathe. But sometimes there was no choice. Sometimes one had to make those choices. Then live with them. Why had he not died? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Noin "Zechs? Are you alright?" "Yes, Noin. Just tired." // Back to whispering and ignoring me again, I suppose. // "Sleep now. No more dreams." She planted a kiss gently on the blonde head, nuzzling into him. "Shh." "Yes. No more dreams. Tonight at least." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zechs He knew, but he had yet to choose. It was so murky. Not like before. Everything was different. So different. It could not help but be murchy. There was no Epyon. There was no Epyon to loom over him. Protector of him. Guide for him. There was no Epyon. He could not do this. Not without Epyon. "What have you done to me, Epyon? What have you done?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Noin Noin shook her head, worried. He brooded all too often lately. He also whispered that monstrous suits name in his sleep. That evil red monstrosity. What had His Excellency built that obscenity for? Why would Treize Kushrenada have felt that there was a need for that evil machine? His Excellency had had such a clear vision when the war had begun. To overthrow the Alliance had been a good thing. She had lost her family to their excesses. Amazing how the crimes of the former regime were forgiven and forgotten in favor of everyone hating her lover. //Epyon.// she lightly kissed his shoulder. // You call out to that monstrosity in your sleep all too often. What did it do to turn you into The Terror of Earth? They can't understand you, but I do. I did. Once.// She had once spoken to Heero Yuy about the suit What his thoughts were on both the weapon it was, and what it might have done to Zechs. That was when everyone had believed he was dead, before the Barton Incursion. She could still see the way he had looked at her with haunted eyes. "Epyon." he had breathed the name. "You don't want to know about Epyon, Noin. Believe me, I try to forget it." So much emotion out of Heero Yuy had been frightening. She had backed off. Perhaps a mistake. Most likely certainly a mistake not to try to get Zechs to talk about it. She was afraid to talk about the monster. His breathing evened out and deepened and she knew he slept, but she thought again of his question. What would she choose, if somehow it was revealed to her? Three possible futures, each unsatisfactory in their own right. Each not having anything like a happy ending. Which would she choose? Her friends life or the ten people she did not know? No, not just ten people. Not ten. There were the victims of the murderer and their families. There were the other people the surgeon would save in a possibly long career. There were the people the diplomat would affect in the bid for peace and a unified future. There were the families of the other people who would have been killed. Children who might have been born, lives that might have been touched in some seemingly insignificant way that later might affect many. It only made the question harder too answer. Noin shuddered as the question worked it's way into her. Growing larger with each possible turn. Not just the friend. Not just the people he might kill. Not just those who might be affected. What might have happened if one did not interfere at all with the arrest, and had chosen instead to have drug therapy and... "Oh, Zechs. I just don't understand." t.b.c.
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