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"Alternative Directions: Options "Written By: Karina Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the lovely
boys and their girls in the series. Wish I did. Please don't sue me.
I haven't even got a brass razoo to give you. Rating: Deffinately PG in Australia, at the moment,
but probably safer to say R for later chapters. Not sure about international
ratings Warnings: It will be 6x2, even though it does
not start out that way. After all, Zechs and Duo never met in Gundam
Wing and only spoke briefly over a com line in Endless Waltz. I've
tried to keep them in character as I saw them in the series. A bit
of language creeping in under stressful conditions. Pairings: eventual 6x2, past 2xH, 2+H,6x9, 1+R
Summary: Directions is set post Endless Waltz
and roughly 2 years have passed. Zechs and Noin are on Mars and Duo,
after spending some time with Hilde in a relationship leaves L2 to
join Preventers. Hilde was not happy about his decision. I guess enough
said. Here t'is, and I hope you like it. This is also AU for the standard
setting, as well as the series and Endless Waltz. Spoilers: Gundam Wing Series and Endless Waltz Many thanks to Dulin for volunteering to beta this. //... // thoughts
"Alternative Directions: Options"
Mars Colony Base Dome 2nd March AC 198 Time: 01:45 [approx Sanc time 23:35] Giles //I’m mad. Stark raving bloody loony. I have to be to sit here and calmly wait for Blue Squad to come through that door and for the shit to hit the fan. Well, maybe I’m not exactly calm but I am waiting here and I’m fighting the damnable urge to hit something that is looking more and more likely to be the man I’m here to protect. Freaking dumb blonde. He knows as well as I do what is going to happen when Simpson arrives and decides to investigate this room. Simpson can’t know that Zechs is in here but he is suspicious about something … otherwise why put the guard on the door?// His gaze flicked back to the man lying back against the pillows, eyes closed but body too tense to be sleeping. // How can he be so calm?// He had managed to manhandle Zechs back to bed though that exercise had been complicated somewhat by the blonde’s insistence that he not be caught without the salve to his modesty of gaining some underwear at the very least. It seemed Merquise objected to the prospect of being taken into custody when in the nude. While he had to admit that it would not be his preferred option to be caught with his daks down he personally thought it of secondary importance in their current situation. He had not thought that the prince of Sanc would have had modesty issues. Few soldiers did. At the least they had gained some time if nothing else from this incident. While Simpson and his crony were within the medical center they could not be hunting the base for others. Preventer Eagle and whoever he was bringing with him into the base should have made the arranged rendezvous by this time. Given the seriousness of their current situation Barker could only give them so much time to join him before devising and acting on some plan of his own. He doubted that he and Zechs were going to be of any use to Barker so the Preventer should wait only so long and then devise a plan to hunt the bastards running loose in the base and not just Blue Squad but the cold blooded murderers taking down the sick and helpless. He scowled. //Sick and helpless.// His eyes flicked from the door to focus on the man sitting back against the pillows piled up against the bed head. He needed to stop thinking of Zechs as he would think about most other people he had worked with. While he admitted that Zechs might not be in the best physical condition now he had to admit that he was not to be judged by the standards he would normally apply to his work mates. The man’s body clearly showed that he was in peak physical condition but it was more than physical condition that you needed to take into consideration when thinking of Zechs Merquise. In this situation he was physically impaired by the injuries and exhaustion of the hunt but he knew enough of the man not to allow the physical aspects of the situation to dictate the outcome. //No more underestimating the man. He’s dangerous. Bloody dangerous and I think that given his condition he would be more dangerous now than if he was fresh to the hunt.// In the time he had had with the man he had underestimated him on too many occasions. Each time he had thought Zechs was out of the picture he had been forced to reassess his parameters. Even given the injuries he carried and especially considering the emotional stress the man was under Giles decided he really did not fancy the idea of taking him on. Zechs had already proven if you valued your hide you did not underestimate him. There was also the frightening prospect that the man might be nearing crisis point and who knew what he might be capable of if he crossed that line? Noin had destroyed the storage room and the control room of the Shuttle Control Tower when she had lost control. //More than just gifted, I think, but … How could they have such capabilities … and exactly what are those capabilities? Raydon knows something and he did not inform me, his Gifted representative on this mission of what Zechs is capable of. He just warned me to be wary and do the best that I could. How much does he know and what is he trying to keep secret?// “Worried?” The deep voice was low, barely above a whisper and crystal blue eyes were suddenly open and centered unblinking on the door. "Yes. I’d be a fool not to be worried in this situation. We are cornered in here with nowhere to go and we know that Blue Squad is right outside that door. I’m a lot of things but stupid is not one of them." "Touchy, aren’t we?" Giles sighed. //God. He never deserved that. I’m tired and I want this over with.// "Sorry. Tired, I guess." Zechs sighed softly. "It’s okay. We both are tired and the truth is we don’t know how long we have and that only aggravates already tense nerves. They’ll come but we don’t know when and that requires patience be exercised." Blue eyes flicked to him and then back to the door. "We can make them come, if you would prefer to end this. Instead of waiting for them to come to us we can dictate the time as they have dictated the place." //Shit. I have to try to keep you out of this. I can’t deliberately expose you to confrontation if I can possibly avoid it. For the love of God, that’s why I’m on Mars.// What was the best way to turn down that offer? Was the man serious? Knowing Zechs now as he did he was not so fool to think that it was a casual offer. Zechs Merquise did not do casual. "No. There is always the chance that something might come up and they may turn aside. Something may eventuate that they might consider to be of more importance than investigating this room. I still don’t know what exactly makes him suspicious enough of the room to place a guard on the door." Blue eyes rolled to center on him. "My, look at that. A pig just flew by the nonexistent window." Zechs murmured. // He’s … At a time like this he is cracking jokes?// "Oh droll. Very droll." Giles could not restrain the grin, amazed yet again by the man who time and again defied the profile Giles had read prior to arriving on Mars. He silently added a sick sense of humor as an addendum to the profile and decided that he could rise to the occasion. "Did I see Santa in hot pursuit with his sleigh and eight tiny reindeer and making no ground on them?" A smile curved the line of his lips and amusement twinkled to life in those arctic blue eyes. "So long as you can be catty, my friend, you are still breathing and while you are still breathing you can still fight." //Oh yeah, you were an officer. You know just the right thing to say to distract me. You have a knack for reading your men, I think. Raydon has a treasure in you if he can convince you to work for the station alliance … although that’s not the only thing he has planned if you are willing.// Giles snorted softly. "Yeah. You have a point. Let’s not encourage them to come calling." "Every minute Simpson is off haring after this surgeon you told me about gives Barker and his team that much longer to infiltrate the base and make it down to the shuttle bay. When he makes it to the bay and does not find us there waiting for him he will know that something has gone wrong and act accordingly." His own gaze moved back to the door and he sighed softly. Every second they could win a delay was, in truth, to their overall benefit. Zechs had the opportunity to rest, Barker had the chance to work deeper into the base and then perhaps work toward a plan to take out Simpson and his people. If a distress call had been sent then there might be help on the way from any passing ship … and more than the registered traffic was out there. Yes, there were options and he should not want to end it as quickly as possible. Sometimes speed was not the best option. "Yeah, well it certainly did manage to go wrong." He rubbed his hands over his face, taking the time to steady himself. He had to be calm and focused because he was all that stood between Merquise and capture. "I wonder if Chris has received an acknowledgement and perhaps even instruction from Station?" He rested his head back against the wall, tilting the chair precariously until he hooked a toe under the bed frame to steady his new position. "When we sort this shit out there is still the small matter of that war ship heading toward us to be dealt with." "Ah ah. Naughty boy. You should know better, Giles. The Wellington is a patrol vessel, specifically a Raider hunter and therefore can not actually be classed as a war ship." Zechs grimaced at the distinction knowing it for the hypocrisy it was. Whatever the ESUN decided to call that class of ship she was as fully equipped for war as the Alliance ships had been. "In these enlightened days of peace we have no further need of War Ships, remember." Giles snorted and offered up a finger to show what he thought of that. "Right. I believe that about as much as I believe the rumor that Raydon wears a pink tutu to bed. Tell me, do your visions agree that there is no longer a need for such ships?" Zechs winced, which was about the reaction Giles had expected but he never offered anything by way of apology. Zechs had largely preferred to steer clear of the topic of visions and Gifts but Giles knew only too well that the man needed to talk about his ability. From the onset of this friendship Zechs needed to become accustomed to the fact that not everyone was going to look at him as though he was an escapee from an institution for the incurably insane because of any talk of visions. Zechs Merquise or Milliardo Peacecraft, whatever he wanted to call himself, needed to understand and accept that there were other people out there in the ESUN and beyond who were, like him, graced with the Gift in one or more varied forms. Zechs had to understand before they could help him that he was not alone and that he could count on other people to understand and to be there to help when he needed understanding the most. The pale locks shook from side to side at the small negative shake of his head. The blue eyes deepened in color, a reflection of the shift in his mood and his voice was low, a husky whisper when he spoke. "I don’t think we should be talking about that just now." // No, I don’t suppose you would fancy talking about it and not just now. You are not going to be an easy one to accept the help we can offer and I admit your case is a little …unusual compared to most. You are going to have to face it, though. Raydon will not allow it to drag you down into insanity and he can be a convincing bugger when he wants to be.// With a low sigh Giles allowed the chair to softly settle to four legs once more and turned his attention from the door to the man beside him. He supposed he could afford the time to start this now. Simpson might take an hour yet to get back to them … or more. "I’d say that there is no better time than now. It’s not as though we can go anywhere or do anything about it, now is there?" He eyed the small pile of items arrayed on the bed between them and shrugged. He’d work on the bandages in a few minutes. "Zechs, in what you can do you have to understand that you are not alone. There are others who share both your abilities and your reserve. Did you realize that Raydon is a clairvoyant? Like you he foresees future event. If he did not have that ability I would not be here now and you would be facing this alone." "Raydon … He said something … odd, the last day I was on Station One. He said that I would return to the station and would not listen when I said that I would not return there. He was quietly adamant about that." "Mmm, well most likely he had had a vision, major or minor I can’t say as I’m not privy to the Training Masters’ files. There are various types and strengths to the ability you share in common but his skills have been proven time and again. How do you think the Station ships and Raydon himself were there at the exact point in space to pick you up out of the Epyon at that particular time?" He noted the flash of remembered pain that was usual if you mentioned the Epyon or the Libra but on this occasion there was something else reflected in those blue eyes that worried him. It was something he could not quite put his finger on but it was disturbing none the less and he reconsidered continuing this but there was no help for it. Once begun he could not stop and he would take this opportunity to have Zechs as something of a captive audience. He could only hope that the man would actually listen to him. "I’m not privy to the Training Masters’ records on Raydon so I can’t tell you exactly how strong his talent is or how much detail he sees when he has visions. From what I have been told by other clairvoyants some things are usually seen with more clarity and detail than others. Some of those Gifted that I’ve spoken to on the station during my training are only too willing to talk to another who shares the distinction of being one of the Gifted. We are something of an exclusive club there but its such a relief to be amongst those who know that you are not a raving loony. You’ll see when you come just how much of a relief it is. While my talent is far from that of clairvoyance I do know that clairvoyant talents can vary quite drastically from each other. Some people have a sensitivity, an affinity for elemental incidents. For example some people are especially sensitive to fire related events. They tend not to ‘see’ any visions unless fire is somehow involved. There are other triggers, of course and other sensitivities, such as water related Sensitives who if they were on Earth might be able to foretell severe flash flood damages caused by storms and such and who on a station might see floods resulting from faults in the systems of the stations. There are also some people who have some intensely personal triggers to their talent." He caught the frown steadily growing into a scowl but chose to ignore it. "One poor bastard only ever has visions in the heat of the moment." Blue eyes blinked and he could almost see the words running back through the man’s mind, checking that he had heard correctly. "Pardon?" Zechs looked confused, deciding that he had definitely heard what he thought he had but certainly did not understand the comment. Giles had the grace to blush but if he read the man’s sense of humor correctly he would take this as a means to lighten the atmosphere a little. Of course, there was the chance that Zechs was that sensitive about his abilities that he would not likely see anything amusing at all concerning discussion of Gifts and abilities. It was a chance Giles decided he was willing to take. "Ah, he … always gets his visions while he is having sex." Blue eyes blinked and then widened as he realized what he had just heard and he looked to Giles with raised eyebrows. He shrugged, resisting the urge to squirm under that gaze. "He has a very understanding partner." Pale lashes curved over high cheek bones, hiding those intense eyes and the change in them from amusement to something Giles thought might be the reflection of a memory. "Lucky man." It was a whisper and there was something else in that quiet voice that sent a warning rippling through Giles. He eyed the blonde for a long moment, hesitating as he wondered if he dared to ask then shivered as he considered if he dared not ask the question. The simple truth of the matter was that the Training Masters on Station One were going to want to know everything he could possibly learn about the blonde’s past experiences with his Gift and the more that he could learn of those abilities the better it would be for them both when he faced the Trainers at their initial interview. Embarrassing as he knew it could be Zechs was going to have to get used to the idea that while you were in training there was no aspect of your life that would remain untouched by those men and women Raydon would place in charge of him. "Did you …" // Don’t kill me. I have to ask.// "Did you ever experience a vision when you were … were … well …" //Damn, how to phrase this delicately?// "Well, otherwise … occupied?" The man seemed a statue on the bed, carved of the purest white marble. "Don’t go there, Giles." His voice was a low rumble that was barely audible but held the warning clearly enough. //Damn, that was not my best effort at broaching a delicate subject. Do I dare continue?// Did he dare not? He had to know everything he possibly could learn about the man’s ability in case Zechs experienced crisis before they could reach the safety of someone with far more training than he had. There were some ships out there with staff members specifically trained to handle the needs of the Gifted and surely Raydon would have had one of those ships dispatched to Mars? It just remained to wait until the ship could be accessed. "The Training Masters will go there." He chose to offer a quiet warning. "It may seem invasive but for them to do the absolute best that they can for you … and it is in your best interests … they have to know every aspect of your life, even the more personal details. It is their job to dissect you, to study the individual parts that are you and then put you back together in one piece. One piece, I might add, that is infinitely easier to live with than the you they started with. At first you would not even realize that parts of you were missing and had been for some time but the Training Masters find those missing parts. They also find those parts of you that you desperately want to hide from. They find what you can’t hope to understand and show you how to understand it. They help you to find the You that you were meant to be. Nothing can be hidden from them if they are to help you and I freely admit that they can seem like cold hearted bastards at times and that you would give your eye teeth to shoot them but … Zechs, in the end you thank them for it. By the time they have put you back together into the whole being you were meant to be you know that without their help you would never have been whole. You would not have been able to live with what you are and I know that you are having more and more difficulty with dealing with that aspect of yourself." He was surprised the man had permitted him to ramble on with his attempt at an explanation … or was it a warning? He was uncertain which he had really intended but he did know that he had spoken only the truth. He had had his own time with the Trainers and every Gifted individual allied to the stations could say that. "I’m not sure that they could be of help to me." The deep voice was a low rumble and the blue eyes were clouded, thoughtful and finally those long pale lashes dropped to curve once more over high pale cheek bones and hide the pain. "I’m not sure that anyone can help me." //That is far more than I thought I would get out of him at this stage. There is something in his voice that suggests … I don’t think they will find him easy to deal with. He has a lot of baggage and I for one wouldn’t want to go there. The Libra … the whole war thing would have to be investigated. Dissected. Especially if what he told me earlier is true. He did the whole thing based on visions. // He sighed softly, thinking of his own time under the care of the Training Masters and the days when he would have given anything to be able to rend them limb from limb because of their infernal prying. Yet those days had been infinitely preferable to the days when he had existed alone with the terror of the ability he could not understand. The fear and horror … and Zechs had been through more than he could ever begin to comprehend. No, he did not envy the Trainers. "I used to think that I was beyond help. That no one could ever understand me or what I endured … and I did endure life, not live it. Certainly I rarely lived a day I could say I actually enjoyed. It was … hard some days. Hard. Such an incredibly inadequate word to describe the hell I lived through. Some days were extremely difficult. I would wake up and face the start of yet another day and know that …" He sighed and closed his eyes against the sight of the room, against the bland uniform furnishings that could have placed him anywhere in the ESUN. This room awoke too many memories of times spent in treatment rooms waiting attention for his injuries and the pain of his body had been only a minor reflection of the agony within his mind. "I admit that I did not believe what I was told about Station One and when I found myself there … I wondered what the hell I wanted to go there for. There were some days after I began the training that I came frighteningly close to ending it. To killing myself just so that I could stop the strangeness and the headaches … God, the headaches were so bad. I can’t begin to describe to you how bad the pain could get. But they were there, Zechs, all the time. They were there and they told me day after day that I was not alone even when I was blinded by the pain. There would always be the sound of their voice or the touch of a hand when I needed it the most. They were there for me and I was so grateful even though half the time it was what they were doing to me that was causing the pain. Someone told me when I was a kid that if there was no pain then there was no gain. It was and is a philosophy they follow on the station I think. They don’t intentionally hurt you but it’s an inevitable result of awakening and establishing control of the individual Gifts. I don’t know of anyone amid the Gifted who did not go through the pain. They call it the ‘Awakening’." Zechs was watching him, blue eyes dark as he considered every word spoken and Giles hoped that by being so candid about the training techniques and their side effects that he was not scaring the blonde away from coming to the stations. If there was one thing he did know about this man it was that Zechs Merquise was no coward and he had dealt with his own particular demons alone for a long time now. Giles suspected that for the promise of understanding and simple companionship honestly intended that Zechs would endure much more than the pain he had known. He wondered if the blonde had ever had anyone who would be with him without wanting something from him. Had he ever really had friends? "As I said, you might hate the bastards for what they put you through but that’s only while they are actually doing it to you. Every day, every session gets harder and harder and you want to do nothing but run … Then you’ll find that something inside of you will change. It is sudden sometimes but mostly it is a gradual recognition of the changes taking place. That’s the way it was for me, a gradual change I recognize as I look back but at the time of the revelation it seemed so … miraculous. They’ll bring you to an understanding of yourself that you could never have reached on your own. After it’s finished … There is just something about that moment that changes everything including how you look at the bastards who seemed to take a fiendish pleasure in torturing you. Suddenly you recognize them for what they are. You know them to be your friends. Your best friends. The best friends you have ever had and they are that because they understand you. They really have an understanding of you that no one else can claim and we need that, Zechs. We need to know that there is someone who understand why it is we do what we do. Why we are who we are. It’s especially important to know that they understand how we came to reach this point in our lives. It’s an incredible comfort, too, to know that they will always be there, waiting when we need them." "They understand you?" His voice was a low rumble, barely above a whisper and there was an expression on his face that Giles could not name. He seemed unaware of their surroundings and Giles could only wonder what it was that he was seeing. "Yes. They really do." The blue eyes drifted open, the fine aristocratic face tilted up to the ceiling. "That’s … No one has been able to understand. I’ve not found anyone who … I don’t even understand, Giles. I don’t understand how I do what it is that I do. I don’t understand how I see what I see. I can’t … I don’t …" He was plainly struggling for words to express his thoughts and Giles suspected he thought he was failing miserably. Zechs had a long way to go before he understood. "If I don’t understand what I can do, how I can do it and why I can do it … how can I expect others to?" //God. Progress and a lot faster than I thought. The really bright ones don’t usually see it so quickly, don’t reach this point so soon being lost in the fear of it. Swamped by it. You are an exceptional man, Zechs Merquise.// Slowly, so as not to startle the man into possibly striking out and trying not to disturb the thoughts he needed Zechs to consider, he reached out to lightly lay a hand on the lightly bandaged wrist, careful not to put pressure on the burns. If Zechs could reach this point so quickly he did not want to undo the good their talk was having. "That’s just it, Zechs. That hopelessness that others can’t understand, that sense of being alone is what we all go to the Training Masters feeling. We don’t understand ourselves and what we do so how can they possibly help us? Surely if we can’t understand it, and it is we who are doing this impossible thing, then how can they offer to help? I’ve been there, I’ve asked those questions and I’ve cursed at them until I was blue in the face and I’ve screamed. How I’ve screamed, both in rage and in pain and they were there through it all. It doesn’t work the way I thought it would. They know. They really do know and they actually can help. What you always need to remember when dealing with the Training Masters is that they have been there, where we walked and they have come through the darkness that is ignorance and fear and they have come ahead of us into resolution and understanding within themselves. The Training Masters are Gifted themselves, Zechs. That is how they know. They are like us, they have the same type of abilities in common with other Gifted individuals and they have all been through the same hell to get where they are. They have been there and they want to bring you through it." A delicate shudder trembled the strong body, felt through that lightest of touches, fingers to wrist. Zechs made no move to set his touch aside. "Who are they?" "When I was last on Station One there were seven Training Masters present. Four of them are clairvoyants of varying strengths and abilities. Some of them are telepaths and clairaudients and one a telekinetic. I believe that there are four assigned to Station Two and the Training centre there. Before I left for Mars I heard that they were looking for some of the Gifted to train as Training Masters to be assigned for Station Three personnel. I don’t know where they came from before they began working at Station One but I do know that two of the Masters were originally with Raydon when construction of Station One began. From what I overheard they had been with him for years." "Do you know him well?" There was curiosity in the quiet question and his face was carefully neutral, giving nothing away of why he asked. "Raydon?" At the brief nod to confirm the identity of his interest Giles sighed. "Not half as well as I hope to know him. He’s unusual, don’t you think? I don’t know how much contact you had with him but … I’ve never met anyone quite like him before. He seems to have this ability to gain your trust without any apparent effort on his part and I’ve never known anyone to be able to do that before. I’ve never been a person to trust easily but Raydon … He was different. I trusted him from the outset." "I have known another like him." a whisper. "You have? Who?" When he spoke it was the faintest breath of a whisper and it held overtones of a longing that was in no way sexual but was never the less heart felt. "Treize." "Treize Kushrenada?" //Damn. I don’t need you thinking about your past but … You need friends and maybe it is time to let you turn the subject away from Station and what awaits you there. You need friends and friends listen when you need to talk. I think I very much want to be friends with you, Zechs and I hope you don’t back away from that contact. I heard about Kushrenada … Who didn’t?... but I never really gave credence to half of what I heard. If the rumor mill is accurate then you knew him better than most. Were you lovers? I don’t think it’s safe to go there.// "I never met the man but I have heard a great deal about him. I always put most of it down to hero worship and wondered how so many people could be so brainless. To hear them talk you would think that the sun shone just for him." "I am sure that Treize could convince you that that was indeed the case, if he felt it was worth his time to bother." Zechs mused and a faint smile curved his lips before fading as a hint of a frown creased his brow. "He was very charismatic when he wished to be and now that I think about it I believe there were some odd similarities between Treize and Raydon. I think … I think it might have been something in the way they looked at you. Something in that look would convince you to act as they expected you to. I don’t think it was a physical similarity but … there was something there that reminded me of Treize when I spoke with Raydon." "You knew him well?" //Don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not asking for any intimate details or anything, just trying to learn more about you. You knew the man and rumor had it that you knew him very well indeed.// "Since I was a child. Before Sanc fell he would come to the palace with his parents. His mother and my mother were very close friends before mother became Queen of Sanc." The scowl deepened and he seemed to make a visible effort to lighten his mood but the words were tinged with a darkness that hinted at a past he truly did not wish to remember. "After the massacre I eventually found my way to them and once I found them … Treize seemed to be there whenever I needed him. He always seemed to have the time to talk to me." //Well … If you knew each other for that long why and how did you end up fighting against him in the war? I don’t understand what could have set you against him. The sadness in your voice shows you didn’t want it to end the way it did. I don’t understand. What did your Sight reveal that made you turn around and fight him? I don’t envy the Training Masters who have to deal with you and your memories of the war. I think running through a mine field blindfolded would be less hazardous.// Zechs sighed and eased his weight a little, pressing his back deeper into the pillows bolstering him. Blue eyes flicked to Giles and then back to the ceiling. "He was what you would call Gifted." For a moment the words did not register and when they did Giles gasped and turned startled eyes to find Zechs was watching him and there was a quiet amusement reflected in his face. It appeared that Zechs had expected just such a reaction from him. "Kushrenada was Gifted? How do you know?" Zechs absently flicked an errant strand of long platinum blonde over his shoulder. "I grew up with him just as he grew up with me. I lived in the same house as Treize from the time I turned seven until I attended the military academy. I watched Treize with adoration and I knew him as few others had the opportunity to know him. He was Gifted and as I knew about his differences so he knew about mine although I … closed it out. After Sanc … The nightmares and the visions must have merged and I … closed it away. Treize had his own differences, his own demons to deal with but where mine terrified me he seemed not to fear his at all." //Kushrenada was Gifted? That might explain a few inconsistencies about the war but … there is something missing from this picture. What was he, a clairvoyant? No, he can’t have been. Surely he would not … well, Zechs is certainly clairvoyant and he admits that he shaped the war to avoid something worse … What ever that might be. If not a clairvoyant … then what?// Zechs sighed softly and watched him, clearly expecting more questions and indeed it looked as though he was inviting Giles to speculate. Hours ago this would have been unthinkable and Giles was strangely humbled by the willingness of the man to confide in him. It seemed that Zechs had been desperate for a friend for him to accept so readily a stranger. //A stranger who is not so different from him, perhaps? A stranger who has the same oddities from the norm? Damn, you are a confusing sod, Zechs. The last thing you want from anyone is pity but I’m finding it damnably hard not to pity you.// He sighed softly and met the blue eyes. "Some people cope better than others with being different. Some people can cope more easily than others with the differences that mark the boundaries and abilities of the individual Gifts and with how other people perceive them. So … what was he? A Telepath? An Empathic Telepath? A Suggestor? Is that how he could convince so many people seemingly without effort that he was worthy of their adoration? Was his ability similar to mine in that regard only obviously of a much higher level to be able to affect so many?" Zechs shook his head slightly, denying not the abilities but the use for which they might be used. "Treize never thought of himself like that. I know that there was a mystique about him and I will admit that he worked hard to cultivate that mystique but no … No, he did not have an ability that was akin to yours. He earned the mystique by his own merits, not through use of his Gift." "What then?" //I can’t believe you are being so candid about this. Jesus, you must have felt isolated. Alone. Worse than I felt for certain.// "Treize was …Unique. I’ve not met anyone who had his talents. He was in many ways reminiscent of a computer. You input data into a system and it would be sorted, evaluated and a plan would eventuate. Treize was like that. He would input every available piece of information and a plan detailing years of activity and each and every individual action required to bring about the end result that he determined to be the best option would be formulated." He shrugged. "I’m not explaining this very well and I know its not easy to understand what I mean but … that was Treize. I know you don’t understand what I mean and I don’t understand it myself anymore than I understand my own … ability." Giles was almost certain that offered ‘ability’ was originally going to be ‘curse’. If Zechs was starting to think of the talents they shared as abilities and not curses then he was not about to complain. If he was lucky he might even escape a lecture from the Training Masters for mishandling the blonde’s condition if he could continue to get Zechs to re-evaluate his outlook on the benefits of being Gifted. "I don’t believe for an instant that I am wrong in my evaluation of the war. Treize planned what happened. Every part of it. It was a detailed plan, complex and in need of regular evaluation and adjustment but that too was taken into account. It was pure Treize, a complex mix of circumstance and deliberate provocation, modified when required but always aimed true to his goal of attaining a lasting peace. What I do is … different. Entirely involuntary. What he did … was phenomenal to watch. He would physically be in the same room with you but at the same time he would not be there and there were some instances when I swear he would … glow. I dreamed but Treize evaluated fact and crafted from it a grand design that was infinitely flexible but irrevocable. He intended there be peace and you could not disrupt that design. I’m not making any sense, am I?" He lightly touched the limp hand so close to his own, a soothing gesture. "Actually, you are. I think." He ignored the arched eyebrow. "I’m not sure but … I think I might have heard of something similar to what you suggest before and it was definitely mentioned in the context of a Gift. A Psi ability." He frowned, trying to remember what it was he had heard. A discussion between Training Masters he was sure but the content eluded him. "I can’t … No, I can’t recall but I think I can assure you that you are right. It was a Gift even though I can’t tell you how they labeled it. Look, I have to ask this. If you think Kushrenada planned it …" "He did. He planned everything, right down to Yuy handing over the Epyon to me." "I see … Well … What about after that?" "What do you mean?" "Well … You acquired the machine, the Epyon. What about the events that followed your use of it? I mean if Kushrenada planned everything as you suggest then why did he allow himself to die? Why would he have allowed himself to be in such a situation where all of his hard work would result in death? Surely if he planned so complex a set of circumstances as an entire war involving the Colonies and the Earth then he could have worked something out that meant he would not die." "I’m not sure I can explain this so you will understand but … Treize saw himself as a servant … as a man who had the ability and resources required to bring about improvement in the ESUN. He was a soldier and he was always destined to be a soldier but that does not mean that he approved of needless death. He hated the old battles where commanders would use other men as cannon fodder and he dreamed of a day that there would be no need for men to die because of the whims of others who were far from suited to command or who had no respect for the individual. He wanted peace. He remembered the names of all those who died in the war he staged. He remembered all of them and not just those who fought for Oz. Alliance, rebel, White Fang … If their names were known then he knew them. He had immense respect for life and he did not personally fear death. He … did not exactly welcome the prospect of his own death but he knew it not to be a threat and I believe that he suspected that for the peace to eventuate he might have to die. It was a price that he was willing to pay if it brought about a lasting peace." "Alright, I can accept that the man might not have been afraid to die but still … This ability strikes me as being a type of clairvoyance if he could arrange events as you say he did. If you take that one step further then you have to admit that with that clairvoyant ability he should have been able to tweak the events to bring about a conclusion where he did not need to be in a position where he might face a fatal situation. Unless..." "Unless?" Zechs prodded gently, looking interested. "You may not want to hear it but it is something all of us with the Gift must face. Sometimes it just gets too much and if you don’t have a safety net you fall. Is it possible that he wanted to die? The suicide rate amongst the gifted who do not receive help is high. Might he not have see this as his release?" He shuddered, not a delicate tremble this time but a very visible shaking that was brought under control slowly. Giles suspected that Zechs had had his moments when ending the pain was very attractive indeed. He wondered briefly if the man had ever actually tired but shied away from such thoughts. This was not the time. "He was not suicidal though I admit that there were some days that I did wonder about him. No, Treize was not suicidal. He was manipulative and ruthless to ensure that certain events unfolded in the direction he required them to progress his ambitions but he was not laboring under a death wish. He wanted something from life and he could not get it until there was peace." Giles frowned. "What was it that he wanted?" Zechs closed his eyes but not quickly enough to hide the anguish that flickered there. "I don’t know. He played his cards close to his chest and I don’t understand what it was that he intended for himself but he needed me to use the Epyon and I think that he was convinced that he needed to die to achieve it. I don’t understand that though. What was it that his dying was supposed to achieve for him? What was this thing that drove him to such lengths to manipulate the entire human race into fighting amidst themselves like errant children and push me into using that bitch of a machine? Why did I have to use the Epyon, Giles? He made certain that it fell into my hands and that I would feel a need to use it and that resulted in the shape that is this world we now live in. Of what possible use to Treize could any of this be if he was dead?" Giles leaned back in his chair and considered the closed door through which so much disaster was waiting to happen. Blue squad would be in soon and one way or another the long awaited showdown would unfold. This too was the result of that war and Zechs using the Epyon. Had Kushrenada’s planning extended this far beyond his death? //Too much. I feel I am on an out of control rollercoaster heading for disaster. This is not the time or place to consider this but I can’t ignore it. I’ve got the man talking and I never thought I stood a chance of that. I want to keep him talking but Simpson will be here soon enough and how do I take him out? How do I get Zechs to open up like this again if Simpson barges in that door?// He sighed softly, glancing at the quiet man who had returned to his contemplation of the ceiling and he watched a progression of emotions flicker within those blue eyes that frightened him. There was an expression on the cold marble of his face that was very cold indeed and also touched with a certain hope. Giles swallowed, afraid but determined to find out what the man was thinking. "You are wondering if he is dead, aren’t you?" Zechs sighed and the blonde head nodded, just once. "Yes. Yes, I am beginning to wonder just what it was all for. If he was dead then what was it all for? He was a man who liked to see results. I am heartily sick of being used, Giles and Treize was the biggest user of all." "The reports all agree that no man could survive that explosion." "Heery Yuy survived the detonation of Wing. I survived the detonation of Libra." "Point. You did not doubt that he was dead before. Why now? Why do you think he might not be dead?" "Because I never really looked at it before. Because of something you said. Because it reminds me of things I have done and the truth of your words. You said that out of all the data he had assimilated, out of the scenarios he must have formulated that he should have been able to evaluate an out for himself. I grew up with him, Giles. I know how cunning he was, how determined and how focused he could be. I don’t understand the facets of his talent, his Gift but I do know that it can not have been the same as what I experience. Where I see all of the changes possible … all of the ripples in the pond that can be changed by so much as a misplaced sneeze and become lost under the onslaught and am useless to everyone … he would not be so limited. Treize had the strength and the capability to make those ripples work for him. He would have had the strength to ignore them as well if he judged them insignificant to his needs. He could be a cold bastard when it was required." "You saw him die. I saw the footage, grainy as it was taken from the file archive of that fight. There was little of the suit left." "They found … a little of it and what they did find … might have been broken off from the main suit. Things that on reflection I think might have been more likely to have totally disintegrated if the damage was as bad as they said. I … Yes, I saw him die but … I was too far away to see more than a brief flare in the darkness and to know that I had failed. That I had not changed what I so desperately wanted to change." "What?" Giles leaned forward, drawing the blue eyes to him, noting again that odd dilation and feeling that sense of change. Under the grip of his fingers Zechs winced and the blue eyes blinked and the oddness was gone and he was just a man who had witnessed the death of a friend. Who had witnessed too much death and wanted to find peace within himself. "You tried to change …?" "I tried … When Epyon drew the vision of his death from me … When I saw that … I didn’t want it to happen. I … I tried to reach for a different fate. We had known each other for so long and the thought of going on without him being there … I was being selfish, something he never would have done but he was the only family … He was the only family I had left other than Relena. She was my sister and didn’t know me but he was my brother … We grew up together. He was there when I needed him when no one else was and there had to be alternatives available. I tried to keep him alive. I missed something. I couldn’t bear to lose another one who meant something to me. So many of them had died. That day … That moment … I don’t know what it was that I missed. When I saw the flare in the darkness I presumed that I had failed. I knew I had to finish it and then it would be over but Epyon lied. Treize was dead when he should be alive and I just wanted the whole thing finished! Then the visions left me but the darkness wasn’t what I was hoping it would be." //Shit. Oh shit. I can’t have him doubting what he sees in visions but … What might that mean? What could it mean to the Earth Sphere if Kushrenada is alive? What could it mean to Station One?// t.b.c.
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