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"The Heist "Written By: Kaeru Shisho Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing
or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, male/male pairings, language Pairings: 1x2x1 Summary: Duo's planning a robbery, considering a reality TV show, and falling for the man who can lock him up for good. Can his friends help him? Can he help himself? A/N: This story takes place in a universe more
like ours today, where the colonies exist on land, not in space, and
where the world is on the cusp of change. Thanks goes to Waterlily
for her tireless editing and thoughtful suggestions throughout. "The Heist " Chapter Four - Not Only Clowns Can Juggle Duo awakened with a start. From the angle of the sun, blasting a murky streak across his wall, he could tell it was nearly noon. He turned over onto his back and groaned, feeling overheated and sweating in his shabby blankets. His head swam in a state of uneasy confusion. "Whatta dream!" he cried out dramatically and despaired of having awoken out of it without resolution. "Aw, shit." There was the good part, being in Heero's arms, and the bad. He'd jumped in-between Trowa and Heero, separating them, and then landed on the ground with a knife in his ribs. He didn't know who it belonged to in the dream. Heero was in his face yelling, when his eyes opened. His phone beeped with a message: "Please call me after your morning ablutions." Without checking the name, he knew from the polite phrasing that it could only have come from his well-bred friend, Quatre Winner. Duo took his time getting dressed, washing his face, re-plaiting his hair, before looking around for his phone. His phone alerted him with a new message: "I have food!" Duo moved a little faster, grabbing his coat and scooting out the door and down the staircase and down the alley. Sure enough, the long, sleek limousine was parked across the street from the restaurant Duo lived behind. No sooner had Duo slid into the backseat alongside the young corporate executive, than he was bombarded with his excited chatter. "Good morning! Here's your favorite coffee and a bagel, so eat and listen," Quatre started off. "Okay," he mumbled, mouth full. No argument there. "This year the palace has planned for a very thorough spring cleaning. More like an overhaul that hasn't been done in years. Isn't that opportune? Even the carpets will be removed." "Good," Duo said, but it came out as "Wood," with a few stray crumbs. "Eat and don't comment, please. These include a collection of priceless Chinese rugs, from the L5 colony, and Persian rugs from L4," Quatre annotated. Duo nodded and tried a thumbs-up without spilling his coffee. "In addition, I discovered that all the art is being removed while the walls are painted." "Who-?" Duo asked, his voice muffled by bagel. "Chang Antiquities has cared for the relics in the past few years," Quatre replied. His eyes sparkled. "They move and store them in specially made crates. You know him." "Yeah," Duo said, but he groaned internally. Chang Wufei. Well, there was no avoiding that insider, it seemed. There was a glimmer of hope, though. Special crates could be made with hidden compartments for jewels. He swallowed his bite and washed it down with a gulp of hot coffee, while listening to Quatre regale him with what he'd learned about the crown jewels. "-the regalia and vestments worn by the sovereign of the Sanc Kingdom during the coronation ceremony and at other state functions, includes: the crowns, scepters, orbs, swords, rings, spurs, colobium sindonis, dalmatic, armill, and the royal robe or pall, as well as several other objects connected with the ceremony itself. The robes are stored-" "Who cares about robes? Sounds like a lotta crap to haveta wear, huh? Ever seen the crown jewels?" Duo asked Quatre's face lit with the memory. "Yes, they are on display. If you take the tour-" "Yeah, I saw them. The crowns are big." "That's true. Oh! I see. Crowns wouldn't fit in a flat crate with the paintings." "How did you know what I was thinking?" Duo barked, choking on a crumb. While pounding him on the back, Quatre said, "Duo, I know how you think, and I didn't collect this information without some inkling of how you could apply it to your...problem." "Ugh." Duo wasn't going to best his friend at mind games this early. How could he be awake at all hours of the night and still be so bright and clear-headed in the morning? Well, afternoon. "Ugh," he repeated. "Now, back to the important things. Remember how I told you my sisters will come help pack? I didn't tell you? Well, they are all excited to help Iria. I visualize plenty of space for hiding papers." "Papers? What papers?" "Oh, Duo." Duo waited out the deep, meaningful sigh, knowing that Quatre would get to the point sooner or later. "Securities, land holdings, contracts, treaties, valuable documents of all kinds!" "Oh, yeah, the holdings." Duo tried to look interested in the topic of papers. He was more of a metal-and-jewel man. "There is a veritable fortune in those documents. My company will, well, that doesn't interest or involve you. I am doing this for Sanc. Not for me, you understand?" "Not really." "Well I am. And it is critical that I get those papers out of the palace and into safe storage." "Oh, okay. You take care of that then, but I can't promise I can transport-" Quatre patted his shoulder. "I have already taken care of that. The Maguanacs have offered to transport the princess and all her personal belongings to the L4 colony where Iria lives." "Tidy." "Yes," Quatre looked pleased. "Like you." Quatre frowned and smoothed his immaculate sandy hair. "I'm not ti-dy. I'm... dapper." He reached for his own coffee, sipped, and nearly splashed both men when he bounced excitedly in his seat. "Hat boxes! For the crowns!" Duo wasn't excited about having the crowns slip through his fingers and into his friend's coffers, but he might have to rack it up to the high cost of doing business with Mr. Winner. "Oh, this will be fun!" Quatre chortled. "Fun? Yeah. Fun." "You know, Duo, imitation crown jewels exist, which were made for display? What you see of the crown jewels aren't the real ones." "No, I didn't know that." "Howard...he and his school of professionals ...the Doctors... created the replicas," Quatre said between sips. Duo rolled over the new facts and sorted through where he was in his thinking. His plan had expanded from pilfering a few baubles to lifting the entire contents of the palace. Committing a felony for a TV show would pay him and his buddies well. It sounded good if the TV company's legal department worked magic; disastrous if "legal" fell through. For Quatre's sake and Wufei's sake, the moving out government documents and the valuable contents of the palace and replacing them with fakes would have to be done on the sly and simultaneously with the reality show. "Ugh." With the complexity growing, swelling the caper's size from a playful, compact otter into a beached, bloated whale, Duo felt his head ache. Hopefully, he could deflate the job a bit. "Just for completeness sake," Duo said, "you figure these documents you're interested in and the other stuff... like the real jewels, the gold and hard cash and all... that everything's stored in the same place, in the palace basement or something?" Please, oh please. "Oh, no! Duo, you know where the Sanc Treasury building is! Next to the palace. That big ugly building you point out to me every time we've passed it? Duo? Breathe!" "Yeah. I'm okay." The whale had just mushroomed into a blimp, a giant soaring blimp of horrendous proportions, but Duo liked that the beast had, at least, a metallic lining. "I don't know what exactly is stored where, but most will be in the treasury." "Um, just one more thing." Duo decided to pose his dilemma to Quatre, who was good at decisions. "It was proposed, meaning just under consideration, that I might get the princess in on this-" "Oh, no! Don't do that! Even if her heart might be with you, she couldn't really condone your methods. No. Leave that to me. Please, promise me you'll not attempt to contact her or..." "Okay, okay! I won't. It wasn't like I was going to. I'll get back to you when the plan's jelled a little more." "It was him wasn't it, who suggested that; that is, bringing Relena in on it?" "Which him?" "Duo!" "Oh, yeah. Trowa did mention it." "I called him and we talked. I wish he'd ask me to come visit. I don't feel it would be proper to just drop in on him at the circus." "No, that might embarrass him," Duo agreed. "His pride isn't exclusive to his lions." His joke missed his mark. Quatre looked soulful. "I have my own brand of vanity, has he forgotten that!" Quatre blinked back what Duo thought looked like tears. "I've made the first move. Now, it is up to him." "That... may take a while. I'll talk to him." "Oh, would you do that for me?" Not that he should, but he would. "Sure, buddy." "Thank you! You are such a good friend, Duo! Oh! Here's my stop." "Ah, thanks to you, too, for the info." "My pleasure." Rashid let his young boss out at the Winner Corporate office building, downtown Sanc branch. "And where would you like to go, Mr. Maxwell?" "I, ah, need to make a couple vidcalls, that all right?" "Perfectly. Shall I drive through the municipal park, then?" "Yeah, cool. Thanks, man." "At your service." (o) "C'mon, circus boy, pick up. I know you're not that devoted to your work." "Yo." He watched as Trowa's face came into view, swiping away the long bangs to reveal a sweet smile. "Hey, Tro." The smile faded. "You're not Quat." Duo passed up the temptation to abuse so many punch lines (No, but I've got his dead body right here. No, but you be dog.) "No, I'm calling from his limo. You know, he's waiting for you to call him back, dummy. He wants to see you in person." "Not going to happen." Trowa shook his head and the fall of hair curtained half his face. Trowa didn't believe he was worthy of the fine, wealthy man's attention and until he had improved his station in life, he wasn't going to actively pursue him. Period. End of conversation. "You called?" "Yes, I am calling you with more info." "Better be important." "It is," Duo assured him. "Okay, I got bad news and good news." "What's the bad?" Trowa asked, unafraid to take on the worst as Duo had expected. "The cash reserves aren't stored on site in the palace. It's all stored in the treasury building." "What treasury?" "That's what I said! And the answer was, and is: The Sanc Treasury building, that fortress bristling with antennae and security and intel communication devices. Now for the good news." Trowa cleared his clogged throat. "I can use some about now." "The treasury is close to the palace and the rail line goes by it. In fact, it's set up for loading and unloading material." "But I was counting on one break-in. I was thinking up a few acrobatics that would look good on TV. But this means two, and a forced entry on a vault like in a treasury building? Fuck. I bet that building is locked down tight." "Wouldn't take that bet, for sure," Duo said sighing. "It's so fucking fucked that the cash reserves aren't stored in the same place as the crown jewels-or, contrarily, they might be. Why did I even think it would be simple? Is anything ever that easy?" "Whining won't help. You need to get hold of the palace layout," Trowa said. "And you have a man inside that would get that for you, if you're willing to meet his price." Duo swallowed hard. He wasn't certain if Trowa meant Heero or another contact, and he didn't really want to know. He had problems with both, but Heero in particular he didn't want to use or get wrapped up in this job and jeopardize both the job and their blossoming relationship. The other man, Chang, well, that was another matter. He'd already used him for one favor and wasn't looking forward to having to include him into the heist and deal with all his prima donna demands; although, from what Quatre had told him, he'd be there collecting art. "I'll think about it." "Think fast." "I will," Duo emphasized, annoyed at Trowa for nagging him. "Later." All Duo could think about was that he'd have to find a way to keep the TV cameras on him and not Quatre, as promised, or Trowa, the ham, and probably not Wufei, who'd have plenty of reasons for not wanting to be televised. Oh, that just made everything oh, so easy! So easy to be sarcastic. (o) Duo had intended to give Heero a vidphone call to his personal cell phone, because it was so fun to surprise the guard, but now Trowa's words niggled at the back on his mind, overruling his desires. Oh, Heero... Duo contacted Chang Wufei, art conservator, seller, and buyer. They had a past, beginning with their wartime contacts. Often they'd been on the same side, supporting their colonies against unification efforts or Alliance belligerence. More recently, he and Wufei had crossed paths and combined careers in order to transfer some wealth into their own pockets semi-legally through the shifting of art treasures from one collector to another, a tenuous though financially viable transaction that re-routed rare Chinese antiquities into the L5 colony. As long as he found a way to link the activity with some honorable return of valuable to Wufei's precious colony, Duo had discovered he had leverage over his accomplice. "I'm busy, so make it quick." "Hi to you too, 'Fei, ole buddy of mine." "Your visit to the palace was satisfactory, I take it." "Yes, yes it was. Remember what I said when I called before 'Fei? I owe ya one? Well, this is gonna make your day." "I doubt it." "Doubt away, but while you're doing that, do you have a valuation of the palace art?" "I have a complete inventory. Art is regularly taken down for cleaning and restoration. Usually not the entire collection, only one or two at a time." "Except for this year." "Y-what do you know about that?" "Spring cleaning. I have eyes and ears everywhere. So, when you remove the art, do you leave blank walls?" "Not at all. The important pieces have copies. When the original is removed, a reproduction is hung in its place if restoration is required and the painting is not ready by the time the painting, if any, is done. We are trusted to return and authenticate all the originals." "How do you move them? Wrapped in paper?" "Absolutely not! What kind of sub-standard operation do you think I run? No. We build exceptional crates, hand-made exclusively for transport." Confirming what Quatre had said, Duo thought with satisfaction. Nothing rinky-dink about Chang's shop. Could this get any better? Well, yes. Lots. But this was a nice break. "Why are you asking me these questions?" Wufei snapped. "What are you planning?" "It's big," Duo said. "How big?" Counting on support for his colonial roots to draw in Wufei, Duo said, "Enough for me and you and a couple others to live the high life, and still have plenty left over for re-building the L5 colony." Silence. "I don't believe you are capable of conceiving much less carrying out an endeavor of that magnitude." "I'm not working alone. That's why I called you." "Well, naturally you'd need a man of my skills in your operation." "Yeah, yeah," Duo let out a breath of irritation. "So, you think new crate covers can be built with hidden compartments for scepters, swords, brooches, ear rings, bracelets, necklaces, jewels, and whatnot?" "For...what?" "The Sanc crown jewels. We can look up the particulars on those, everything but the crowns. Those gotta go in different cartons, and we got that covered." "Covered? Are you crazy?" "No, I am not, and I gotta say I'm getting a little tired of everyone asking me that particular and rather personal question." "Pisshaw!" Wufei said, or something that sounded equally off-putting to Duo. "Just tell me who else have you involved in this, because if it's some lame-brained-" "Winner." "Quatre Winner? He's no criminal!" "Not that you know of," Duo muttered under his breath. "What's that? Speak up!" "Quatre's more of a silent partner so keep that under your hat." "Of course! Who else?" "Barton." "Oh, well, he is the best at delicate extractions. Barton. Yes, his participation influences the entire plan. He doesn't involve himself in worthless enterprises, and Winner? I can't imagine how you roped him into your wild scheme, but it does prevail upon me to give this idea of yours serious consideration." At this point, Duo knew he had Wufei's confirmed involvement and he relaxed a little, distanced himself a little, to let him think, a lot, while pointing out the more interesting aspects to date. "There's the art and rugs to be moved for cleaning, which you are aware of. Only, I think the fakes will move in and the originals won't be returned to protect the assets of the Sanc Kingdom from the New Alliance." "Alliance," Wufei growled, as Duo knew he would. No love lost there. He went on, covering what he'd heard about the New Alliance intentions, with the occasional "yes" coming from his listener. This was not fresh news to him, apparently, having dealt with antiquities stolen from the colonies in the past. "Then there's some papers that interest Quatre and a load of cash reserves and gold I still gotta chase down... but it's a lot of merchandise to move." The art conservator spoke using careful diction as if he were talking down to an errant apprentice. "I will require some assistance." "Of course," Duo agreed, gritting his teeth. Here come the expected stipulations and ultimatums. He had to stem the tide first. "But there's something else going on that'll keep me occupied." "Oh? Robbing the palace is not enough for you? What brass!" "You bet I've got chutzpah! But, no, no... it's not what you think. How to explain...? There will be some guys filming a reality TV show about my robbery." "Oh, now... how stupid do you think I am?" Duo caught himself just in time before quipping out a smart-aleck remark he'd regret making later. "I'm not kidding you. It is real all right. These TV guys have got a legal department on it so things will work out." "Leave me out of it!" "I plan to! Anyway, that all has nothing to do with you, if all goes right. While you and the others are busy, the filming will be on me." "Sounds problematic." "I don't have it all worked out yet!" Duo whined, unable to prevent himself from getting all worked up. Which was just what the other man wanted. "I see." Wufei sounded serene in comparison. "So, it's all up to me. Of course, I'm used to working on my own with limited support. You can rely on me to carry out my part of the job. For the sake of my colony, you can be sure of that! I shall supply my own backup, and I know just the man to ask and he will do the work for free, practically." "Ah..." Duo really wanted to staunch the bleeding of people-involved right then and there with a cutting remark. However. He needed Wufei and didn't want to hurt his tender feelings. "Um... that sounds too good to be true. I gotta know who it is. You get that, right? This is my job. I gotta vouch for everyone." "Hesmyboyfriendmill." Duo couldn't make out the mumbled words. "What's that?" "I said... that he is...," Wufei cleared his throat, "my boyfriend, Mill." "Mill? Never heard of him." "I'll arrange an introduction." "Okay," Duo drawled, pleased with how things were falling into place. "That'll do for now, but if I don't like him, you'll have to work alone or try for another guy I do know. Capish?" "Don't be insulting. I wouldn't suggest anyone but the very best." "Yeah, well, I'll look forward to meeting your...boyfriend." "Very well. Business calls. Good bye." Duo signed off just as the vidphone signaled an incoming call from Q.R.W. (o) "Hey, Quatre! Long time no see, heh, heh. Miss my mug already?" "Hello, Duo. Of course I miss you! I just had the greatest idea!" "Bring it on, buddy." "Iria told me- well, first, she wanted to be remembered to you." "Aw, how nice. She still has a thing for me, huh?" "Ha! Your hair, Duo. She envies you your hair." "If that's how you live with the truth, so be it. Heh, heh." "As I was saying, Iria says they have always arranged a party the evening before moving out for cleaning. Now, if we could time everything just right, culminating with the circus the next day at the same time as the moving, this could work to our benefit." "Yeah, that might help. If Iria could keep the princess busy and if it doesn't mean too many nosy guests humming about, getting in the way. Trowa and I will have loads of setup to get done before we want cameras rolling." "I'll connect with both Iria and Relena and tone down the party plans. I've already assured the princess that I am working in concert with Pargon, who in the past has managed the spring cleaning and is very happy to have my assistance." "Who wouldn't?" Duo asked, laughing, feeling better about the plans by the minute. "With Relena's blessing my directions won't be questioned." "We hope." Duo cleared his throat. "There's one more thing." "What's that?" "One more person for you to invite to the party. Friend of mine." "Um... who?" "Solo Solomon." "Solo... the Governor of L2? Why him? I don't know him well enough." "I do. Tell him you are a buddy of mine and that there's a chick he's gotta meet." "A chicken? What are you talking about, Duo?" "He's unmarried, one of the top ten most eligible bachelors there is, a real hottie in a chick-magnet sorta way, smart, somewhat powerful-a perfect match for the princess, dontcha think?" "Princess Relena is the chick? You're match-making for the princess? Duo, why on earth would you...? Wait, how do you even know Governor Solomon?" "I told you about Solo, the kid I grew up with that made it big?" "You did, but...no. You never said he was that Solo! Duo, why didn't you ever ask him for a job? He could have-!" "He might have, yeah, but I'm not that way and I wouldn't put him into a position like that and I'm not going to defend what I did... not now, unless you got lots of time." "No, I don't, have much time, I mean. Just answer me this: why her?" "So she leaves this guy I'm interested in alone." "You are competing with Princess Relena for a date?" "It's not so impossible! C'mon, don't make me explain. You'll do it, won't you please?" "Yes, of course, as crazy as that sounds, I'll invite him. Duo, you have to go now." "Go? Oh, you mean I gotta give up my deluxe transport?" "Correct. Rashid has loads of duties to carry out-without you. So, have him drop you someplace convenient and toddle off." "Yeah, sure. Thanks for the use of the wheels." "My pleasure." The vidphone screen darkened. "Hey, 'Sheed?" "Yes, Mr. Maxwell?" "Time for me to toddle along, I guess." "Where would you like to stop?" "Um, how about the treasury building?" Without skipping a beat or batting an eyelash, the driver replied, "Very good, sir." After a few turns, the limousine cruised to a smooth stop and deposited Duo on the sidewalk. The Sanc Treasury loomed in front of him. "As ugly as ever, geez." He couldn't believe he'd missed the man-high sized letters carved in limestone mined from the bowels of Sanc's mountains, proclaiming: KINGDOM OF SANC TREASURY. "Now, where are the train tracks?" he wondered and trotted off to find out.
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