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"Free Falling"Written By: Kaeru Shisho Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing
or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, rated for language, yaoi pairings Pairings: 2x1, 3x4 Summary: Duo searches for the key to happiness and love while free falling through life A/N: I couldn't have done this without Waterlily's
invaluable editing "Free Falling" Chapter Five "Get your lazy ass out of bed, Maxwell. The day's wasting," Heero said. I turned over and groaned. My legs felt like they'd been replaced by lead replicas and my head pounded as if I'd been on a bender the night before, which I hadn't. "It's our day off." He stood by the bed holding two mugs. "Coffee." I groaned again, but pushed myself up until my back rested against the headboard and reached out for one of the mugs. "Thanks," I croaked, my voice not quite working right. The raw feeling in my throat came from the deep-throating it had had to endure after a round of pre-dawn sex. Heero stood there naked with a sly smile on his handsome face. His body appeared edged in gilt from the shaft of light coming through the door opening. A path of flaky white stuff ran up over his hard abs to the cleft between his pecs. "Sleep well?" I asked as I took the mug. "Oh, yeah. I slept like a baby; that is, until you woke me snoring about half an hour ago." "What time is it?" "Nine-thirty." I looked at him again, boldly scanning his body. His eyes were a navy blue in the sunlight and could look almost black in subdued light. I marveled at his beauty and felt my body respond, wanting him. "Why don't you get back in bed," I suggested. "Nope." He sipped from his own mug of steaming coffee. "We're going to take a shower together." "Why don't we just wait and shower after some...fun? We'll be all sweaty by then." "Because," he paused, letting the implications of his threat sink in, "I want you clean when I shove my cock into you." "Yeah, right," I bluffed, feeling my own cock respond to his words and the dominance of his tone. "You're just trying to get a rise out of me, heh, heh... as in to get me out of bed." I had been chill about it, but actually, his tone had shocked me to complete alertness. If I had said a thing like that to Hilde, she would have accused me of being threatening and domineering, but with 'Ro and me it was all male foreplay. I rolled out of the disheveled bed and followed him into the bathroom. Trying to snatch a bit of control of the situation, I reached into the huge glass enclosed shower and adjusted the water. Heero just twitched a smile my way and carefully laid out clean towels. "I think the temperature is okay," I said after one more test. Yep, I was in the pilot's seat. "I'm sure you've set it straight." He chuckled and climbed in next to me. We shared the water standing sideways at first. He untied my braid and loosened the strands with his fingers. I grabbed a bar of soap on one pass and worked the soap between my hands. "Here," I squirmed out of his arms and ran my soapy hands over his chest and shoulders. "Nice." He soaped up his hands and did the same to me. I ran my hands lower, and felt him tremble in my hands. "Um," he said, his voice almost a sigh, "this feels ...goo--," and lost the rest of what he'd been saying in a luscious moan. "Yeah." I knelt and washed his legs and feet. Heero shuddered when my soapy fingers ran over his ass and upwards as I straightened back up. "Like that?" I asked, my lips against his ear so he could hear over the roar of water. "Y-yeah." I used the soap to slip and slide over his rippling muscles, but when I moved south he pressed me into the shower wall. "Oh, yeah," he moaned, "oh, fuck, yeah." His hands found mine, and we shared soap. I thought he was going to jack himself off, but then his fingers wrapped around me as his other hand wound in my hair and crushed our faces together for the hottest tongue-kiss ever. "In me--?" I got no further than that. I'd wanted him to follow up on his "threat" to fuck me, but now he'd distracted me completely, his hands squeezing and sliding. It was incredible. Talk about free falling from a high to an even more powerful one. My own climax hit hard, and soon after he convulsed in my hand, shouting my name. Then I was back in the big fancy shower, my body collapsed over Heero's. "Oh, God, Duo," he whimpered, his voice little more than an echo of mine. We finished by washing each other off, washing my hair, and then drying with his big, soft towels. I remember staggering back to bed before falling into a mid morning doze. We woke up an hour later when my phone rang with its newest merry little tune, "Free fall... Free falling..." "Yo," I answered. I should have let it ring, seeing as I'd just got in and it was my weekend off. It was work. They needed me "yesterday" to slice and dice some wreckage holding up a full crew, who had been clearing space for rebuilding. A full crew sitting on their asses meant dollars going to waste. It could not wait until the day after tomorrow. Today. I could take the next two days off. Aw, shit. "Right. 'Kay. Gimme an hour." "Work?" Heero's downright disappointed tone nearly made me change my mind. "Yeah. There's not all that much left to do here on L5. So when they need something done. I gotta to do it. I got the next two days off, though, in exchange." "I'll see if I can rearrange my schedule," he said. "No promises, though." "Cool, 'Ro. You're the best." And he was. "Stay put. Sleep. I'll take the bus and you can pick me up. I'll call you?" "Thanks." We kissed and he rolled over then out. "But I'm fine. I'll feed you and drop you off. Might as well see what I can do at the office to deserve the days off." Heero was the best person in the world to me, and maybe for me as well. So far, he'd made me examine my life more clearly, not changing the events, but adjusting their importance. Like, I couldn't see how anything I'd done so far counted as much as what I was doing now, including my part in the war, and everything I did now, it seemed, was going to define my future. Was I typical of guys my age? Generally, I'd been putting my immediate needs and desires before long-term goals. That seemed pretty certainly typical of the young single men I knew. In my defense, I was also adjusting to fit into this peace-time world after coming from a pretty messed up background. What else? I took my job seriously and there, at least, I had my priorities in order. That came from growing up fast in a war. I also took Heero seriously; Hilde didn't count 'cause she was in like another universe. Was I a good person? Apart from my Shinigami fighting state during the war, I tried to be sensitive to others and I don't think I was ever intentionally cruel. I was capable of thoughtlessness, but I was never evil. I knew my success at Winner Corp was important but I had no solid idea of what I really wanted to do with my life, especially when my life was split into two worlds, literally, that intersected at me. All these thoughts rattled around in my brain as I walked toward my ship in the hangar. My mind started to fog over and I couldn't keep from thinking about all the "What if's?" What if Trowa had not liked Quatre? What if Quatre and I had stayed together, shared a room, and continued our relationship? What if I stayed on L4 with Hilde and married her? What if it had been Wufei and not Heero on the other side of that door? What if Heero hadn't been gay? The fog in my brain never lifted. I'd had too little sleep, I guessed. All I could manage was to get through the rest of the day on nervous energy-- complete my job, call Heero to pick me up and also buy groceries on the way home, cook dinner, look forward to more Heero in bed right where we left off. At five, when I came off the launch area, Heero there waiting-- a step ahead of me! "Nice surprise. I was thinking 'bout you." "You look like hell," he said in greeting. I nodded my concurrence, not knowing if he meant my appearance or my performance during the rough landing. "Thanks," I said. "I feel like shit." "Well, some shit looks better than other shit, and you look like shit from hell," he grinned as we headed for his car. "Tell me we are getting together tonight." "We're getting together tonight," he replied. "If we don't, I'm going to become committable crazy." I collapsed into the passenger seat and tossed him the keys. He stared at the keys jangling in his hand, probably thinking I was worse off than I'd admitted for giving up the chance to drive his hot car. "But it'll be late, as in LATE, tonight." "Ugh..." I groaned. "In order to take off the next two days, one being a busy workday for me, I have to finish some paperwork tonight. Larry from the agency dropped me off so I could meet you up in person and leave you with the car before going back. He's on dinner break now, then goes back. He'll give me a ride home." "Nice of him. What about our dinner?" I bit back any questions about this Larry dude that 'Ro never'd mentioned before. "There's lasagna in the refrigerator. You can eat when you want or wait until I get home." "Before midnight then?" "I'll do my best," he promised. "Okay." Heero's best was damned good. His structured life provided for plenty of free time; his home management skills kept the place clean with a minimal effort; and he put together food servings so large they had a gravitational pull. And I'd already nearly forgotten about Larry. (o) I had no idea what time Heero made it home or how terrific his lasagna turned out; I'd showered and conked out on the bed, free falling without eating. When I woke up I felt like I'd been worked over by Wing Gundam, and not in any good way you might imagine. My attempt to sit up landed me flat on my back and in need of a few hours more rest until I thought to attempt that bold move again. When I did finally sit up, it was with Heero's help and a seriously worried look on his face. "I thought you were just worn out so I left you a note to call me at work. Here, drink this." I drank automatically, gulping like a fish. "Note?" "You were asleep when I got home last night and I was called in for an emergency this morning. I left a note, which you obviously haven't seen yet." "It's morning?" "It's lunchtime." His eyes gave me a critical examination and then I felt the icy hand of death on my forehead. "Shit, you're burning up." He yanked off the blankets and the sudden shill sent me into the tremors so hard I sloshed the water he'd brought me. I think the water that fell went up in steam. "You're sick." "Nu-uh." I wasn't sick. I couldn't be sick. What was sick? I was tough. I was... asleep before I had my argument out of my mouth and way before I'd formulated it in my head. Heero refused to move me and must have held a gun to the head of the doctor he conscripted to make a house call, because next thing I knew I was being roused to meet the stranger hovering over me. I didn't hear his name so I called him "G" for short, as in "Ah, gee..." He had some clever little devices that took body fluid samples and tested them instantly and nailed down my ailment from a universe of possible maladies. The doctor's verdict almost cut through my groggy-headedness. "You have blah, blah, blah," which I couldn't make sense of so translated as "garbage fever", "and will have to remain in this apartment for two weeks. The both of you." Heero disagreed. Not to call him a flamboyant gay man, but he really could pull a hissy fit when he was riled. "Call a friend to deliver food. Call work to explain your absences. Call another doctor after this, but don't call me!" He slapped a handmade but very official-looking sign on the door on his way out. Contagious Disease! Absolute isolation and quarantine in effect! To give the good doc credit, he sent a shit-load of prescription drugs and instructions over by robo-carrier. An hour later, an officer stopped by and applied a force-field lock to the outside door. "Have your deliveries made through official channels. Here's the number to call." This was transmitted to a spitting mad Heero through the door, to explain the terseness. Another officer called to question Heero and me about every man, woman, and child we'd encountered in the last 24 hours. Poor shits. I hoped none of them would be getting the quarantine treatment on account of me, or I'd get booted off the colony big time. Me. Oh, it was all about me. Apparently the salvage I'd gotten into was from the medical containment unit of L5. My ship was supposed to have been thoroughly de-contaminated, but apparently I missed a spot, touched it—how? God only knows, and blasto, the little buggers loved me. I was probably the first good thing and the only living thing to come by in twenty years. Lucky me. Us. Heero never got the bug, but he suffered along with me every ugly step of the way. The oozing sores were pretty spectacular. I had to share those with all my buddies via vid-phone. Grossed them all out. Heero slept on the couch. I discovered that there were limits to love, not that I blamed him. I would have done the same and slept out on the couch too had our roles been reversed. For a week, none of the cooking or the chores were done by me. Our tidy schedule was tossed. We spent a lot of time getting on one another's nerves until Heero ordered a TV delivery to entertain me while he sat hunched over his laptop filling out forms; at least, that's what it looked like. Quatre was an unanticipated, by me, gem in the crap pile of events. He arranged for our daily food delivery, a specialist to check on our progress, and my ship to be cleaned properly. The entire hanger required sterilization and the hulking detritus I'd been toting around, the infective garbage, was jettisoned into a star, somewhere far away. He did this at a cost to his company, absorbing the loss and assuming the guilt for equipment failure like a prince. He even saw to it that all my expenses were paid for, which was a good thing because Heero's weren't. He lost two weeks wages and his supervisor was madder than hell over the screw up to his schedule—her schedule—resulting in his being assigned a shitload of paperwork, filing, and boring cleanup tasks to do, This explained the grueling laptop work, I guessed. On the plus side, by the second week Heero and I were actually talking deep talks. Without sex to get in the way, we learned "to communicate comprehensively in a verbal process"—his words, obviously, not mine. He could say the most endearing, heartfelt things, too. "I can't get over having you around." Heero smiled as he said that. "I can't get over you wanting me around, I mean, when you've had the choice. And now, taking care of me? Man, the only other person I can recall ever taking care of me was Sister Helen." Heero knew that old story, but it gave us a chance to re-visit our pasts and let us marvel over how we'd been and how we'd seen the others "back then." "Winner didn't belong in a war," Heero said. "Not as a fighter, but after he encountered the Zero system and began giving orders, I was impressed." "Yeah, Quat didn't do too badly for himself. He was probably the most lethal of all of us, blowing up colonies and all. Having a whole team of men, those Maguanacs, answering to him impressed me." "Not his wealth?" "Oh, yeah. That was like a fairytale. I don't think it really sunk in for the longest time how rich he was—or important." "He was very modest." "Unlike Wufei Chang," I said. "That tight-ass just never got me at all, but he let me know he didn't approve no matter what I did." "You may think that, but you posed quite the quandary to him." "Oh yeah? How to fit his ego and me in the same room? Or was it how my braid out grew his by several feet?" Heero smiled and chuckled. My sores were healing, but one at the edge of my mouth still oozed when I smiled too much. "As a kid I think I wondered was how you managed to get as far in life as he did all on your own, but the other day he commented on how it was I was so lucky to have connected with you again, and win you." Win me, sure. "Some prize I am now. Naw, I know, we're good together. Both winners, uh, so to speak." We laughed a little over that faux pas. "Trowa intimidated me at times," he admitted. "He had stone-cold hard mercenary killer down very well, for a kid." He also took Quatre away from me. That's the first thing his name conjured up in my brain, but I didn't share that with Heero, even though it didn't hurt so much to think about that time in my life—which was actually only a few months ago. "I thought he was a bit of a jerk, personally." "He saved my life," Heero went on to say. "That really messed me up." "Saving my life?" "No, the gaping-ass hole you blew in my chest when you did that—blew yourself up! Well, and that it was him that found you and took care of you—and not me." "He had a safe place to hide me while I convalesced." I might have had an answer for that, too, but I'd left it behind to listen to what Heero had to say. Great concept: listen and not talk stupid. "My whole notion of him changed just before I'd recovered enough to leave the circus. He was showing a little girl a nest of pheasant chicks he'd found." "Bet he found it hard to look aloof and tough holding a nest of baby birds." Heero smiled. "It was, but it was what he said that got to me. See, the mother bird had been shot and it was Trowa who'd hauled the nest back to the circus. He told this little girl that they'd be fine because a hen, who'd lost her eggs to someone's dinner, had already taken them under her wing. The little girl wondered about that, since they weren't the same bird. He told her, and I remember how sincere he sounded, that it didn't matter to the mother bird who'd bred them or where they'd come from. They just needed her and her them and love filled in all the cracks." I was impressed. "Trowa said that?" "He did, and I finally saw through that blank veneer of his to his heart and understood how he felt about Winner, too. It applied to him and Quatre—" "Yeah, I get that part." "Are you happy?" he asked me. "Is this working out for you okay? Living here? With me?" "You have to ask?" I said. "Do I complain that much?" "No. It's just that I want you to feel like this is your home, but then you leave, so how can you not feel like you're my guest?" But that's what I was. It had to be that way because we only had this bit of time together. "At the very start, I was really trying not to disturb anything." Heero laughed his ass off over that. "You turned my life and everything in it upside down." "That's not how I remember it. I copied how you folded my damned clothes --," and my damned voice hitched about then, giving away how much that little act had signified. But then his voice clouded up a bit too, so I guess he was getting pretty emotional as well. "I really like your company. More than anything, I want you around." "Is that so?" I chuckled a little to let on that I was joking here. With Heero, I never was exactly positive about how he'd take something, so I warned him, tossed in a few clues here and there. "You trust me not to take you out in the night?" "Only on a date." He said that straight-faced. A count of three and he smiled fractionally. "I trust you, yes." Eventually, the scrap of L5 would be gone or it would be time for Heero to trade back with Wufei. Then it would be over. He didn't have to say it; the truth just hung in the air between us. That's when I knew what I wanted for the future; for a moment in time, it was clear. "I don't want us to be over when the jobs are," I said. "We won't be. I won't lose you over some job." I nodded, though I didn't know just then how we'd solve that particular problem. But then I was just getting my footing, and avoiding that familiar free falling into the next episode of my life's drama. I know there at the start I'da recognized exactly what to do if Heero had wanted a quick fling, but he'd insisted on us taking it slow and getting to know one another. I was game. I kept fumbling with the "something more" I could sense tell Heero wanted and learning along the way how to combine my inexperience with emotions and experience with sex into something akin to what Heero was trying to express to me in his words. (o) Miracle of miracles, by the end of the two weeks, I got well. I was nearly as hearty and hale as I'd been before the bug got a hold of me. Gone was garbage fever and gone was Heero, who had to return to work the instant the quarantine was lifted—his commander's orders. I stayed home another couple days until I was released back into space duty. I tried to make up for all the lolling about I'd done and work I'd caused 'Ro by cleaning and doing laundry and fixing meals. And that's how I discovered another way to pair up socks and store them away which was faster and neater and so they took up less space. Heero noticed right away. "Did you throw out some socks? They all fit in the drawer. No, you rolled them." "You can see them better and it's faster putting them away." "Hn. Good. The pasta sauce looks lumpier." "I helped schlep old produce from the market to the church and they told me to pick anything out I wanted, so I got an eggplant. Hope it's okay cooked like that." Throwing caution to the wind, Heero tasted the new sauce and smiled. "Passes inspection." I musta made too much of holding my breath over that, because he moved to embrace me and give me all kinds of nice reassuring kisses. "It's okay, you know," he whispered into my ear during a breathing break. "I don't mind. You're not necessarily 'fighting back' when you make few suggestions." "Well, you just do things so well thought out." He sniffed. "I'm not the perfect housekeeper, Duo. I'd never even heard of discount stores, so I have some things to learn from you, too." And that admission made me feel better than anything else he could have said. Getting along wasn't just about doing whatever it took to make 'Ro happy, it was about balancing both our needs. "I can survive anything you attempt." That got a laugh out of me. "You survive my intrusive offence, while I thrive on your gracious defense." "I can be intrusive and break down your defenses." I had defenses when it came to him? Don't make me laugh...but that seductive growl of his? Oooh, a bit of that free falling feeling! I gawked at him. Did he mean what I thought? Because I was pretty damn sure we were talking about sex and not sports or relationships. "Prove it." (o) I'd always let others make the first moves, but now with Heero I couldn't even remember which of us was making the important moves. It didn't matter, except that this time he wasn't all talk. "Okay, before or after dinner?" "Here," I groaned as his smile widened, "and now." Before you have a change of heart. Still grinning, Heero unzipped his slacks, right there in the kitchen with the bubbling pasta dish, and stroked his cock—until it swelled all wild, hard, and pulsing and standing out at right angle from his body, as straight as an arrow. The head was swollen to its maximum size, a huge club of a thing, oozing and frightening. "God." There was nothing else I could call it. Then, in one fluid motion, he had me over the table, yanking my jeans past my ankles, and pressing apart my legs with both thighs. Don't ask about the pasta. It went flying. "You drive me crazy, Duo." "Yeah." Bet not as crazy as you make me. He leaned forward and lowered his lips to mine. His kiss was tender but firm, his lips closed against my gaping mouth. He could have fucked his tongue deep into my throat but he made no attempt to do so. "This is going to hurt." He rolled a tube of lube between his palms to warm it up. How thoughtful. "Yeah," I said, looking again at the huge angry head of his cock. "I don't want to. I don't want to see you in pain." "Yeah," I said, not entirely convinced. He might not get pleasure from seeing me suffer, but I couldn't help feeling he got a lot of pleasure out of the act of domination. And maybe, just maybe, he needed that to get over what had happened to him. "It's just something to get past," he went on, his voice low and reassuring. "After I've fucked you a few times you'll be able to take my cock without it hurting. Then we can both enjoy it more." "Yeah," I whispered again. "Jesus, I'm no pussy, 'Ro. I'm tough." I just wanted him to do it. I knew it wasn't going to be easy and I knew it would hurt, but I wanted him in me. "I know you are, but...Okay then." Plop! He sprinkled me with warm spaghetti noodles. "AH!" He slurped one off my belly, licking sauce off my skin with his tongue. What had happened to my anal-retentive, compulsive-cleaner? Next thing, I felt a hand grasping a leg as he eased a finger inside me. I moaned as he worked it in. I moaned again as I felt my ass relax. I don't know if I ever stopped making noise. I drifted, feeling lighter than air, up up up into the atmosphere. I'd felt that sensation before when Quatre had worked his fingers into me. I almost dozed. I felt disembodied. More fingers entered and stretched and stretched and massaged. Lips sucked and pasta slithered across my chest. I was humming a soft, gentle, contented sound that came from deep in my chest. "Okay? Feeling good?" "Uh, huh." I opened my eyes and looked directly into his. His lips curved in a gentle, caring smile and then he nudged at my opening with an elephant. Well, not really, but it felt like one. It took a while to fit. It wasn't all wonderful. My body ached and convulsed against his entry, but he knew when to stop, to wait, and when he could at last move. Eventually, I wrapped my arms around him and we moved slowly, gently, in a peaceful rhythm, which was full of affection and tenderness. "Too good," he gasped. "Too good." His body pulsed and I knew he was pouring his life into mine, filling me with his love. "Yes," he whispered, "yes." I felt my own body respond, felt my own scalding substance shoot between us, pressed into the hot, damp, confined space between his belly and mine. "Uh, huh, yeah, babe, but next time's on the bed where it's softer." "Yes," he agreed. Freshly fucked described me to a tee. I couldn't walk or eat afterwards, but that was okay. Heero had had his supper, he claimed, and I got to soak in a long hot shower and languish in bed while Heero Yuy caressed and pampered me. Once, he might have been the perfect soldier, but guess what he said I was? Yeah. His. (o) The next day he introduced me to his gym where we could work off a lot of excess male energy while my battered ass rested. I kept a sideways eye on him, admiring his physic. I'd certainly seen him naked enough that there wasn't anything new to learn, but I loved watching his muscles move. He caught me looking at him and winked. He caught me at it again and strode over to my weight machine and lean in. "Checking me out, mister?" God, I loved him being all domineering, even while a part of me resented it. Balancing along that fine line brought me to ecstasy. "Yeah, right," I sorta barked out a laugh with my brain gone sluggish with sex thoughts. But he was so close I could smell his sweat. I just stared openly at him until his eyes raked over me and he blushed. We were both in good shape, actually really great shape, me from working, but the extra weight training had matured his body to a hard, honed definition which I admired and now sought to obtain for myself. He cleared his throat a couple times first before asking, "You just going to stand there checking me out, or can we go shower and do our shopping?" "Let's go shopping," I grinned. "I'll have time to check you out later." "Pervert," he said under his breath as we headed for our lockers. "Maybe, but I'm your pervert, so what do you think that makes you, babe?" "Your depraved adorer?" "That will do." Life was so good. I had never been happier. Nothing was ever perfect, but life with Heero was close. I mean, maybe it had even been good for us not to be together all the time during these first few months of getting to know one another. The time we had was precious and we made the most of it as we learned about each other. And I mean we learned more than just what sex the other liked the most, though we got better at the mechanics of that too. But we also learned how to avoid annoying one another and to please in other ways. Things like the little subtleties of emotion and personality, what we were keen on or found objectionable, the ways I could unintentionally push the wrong button and spark Heero's sudden anger and the ways he could unintentionally send me into a mood of gloom and dejection. Our special friendship grew into something bigger and a whole lot different from casual sex. I guess that's obvious to most folks, but as I became more and more involved with Heero, I learned that for the first time in my life. As he shared new stories about his past, his childhood, and his time up to entering the war, his personality became understandable to me. From the beginning it was clear that Heero was a very competitive and focused guy. He was competitive at work and he was certainly competitive in sex. But behind the aggressiveness, I found and treasured a sensitive, affectionate guy. He must have made his own discoveries about me along the way, though I kept my other life on L4 well tucked inside a mental strongbox marked "keep away." Other than that, we were learning each other, physically, sexually, emotionally, and I loved it. The worst now was having to part from Heero. The thought of being separated and not having sex with him made me a little crazy. He told me the same thing. "Call me." "'Ro, that won't do any good." "Yes it will. Just to hear your voice. Please." "I'll try. No promises. Things just get...busy, but I'll try." It had been two months or so since I'd shown up on Heero's doorstep seeking a roommate. Two months, which had changed me in ways I hadn't considered and some I had. I very much wanted to forget L4 and stay with Heero, but I had promises to keep, tonnage to freight, and others counting on me. Even though I had stretched my stay on L5 for an additional week due to my illness, the last day arrived. We steeled ourselves for that inevitable two-week separation looming in the future. Little did I know how stupid I could be, but I always had a way of being an extraordinary ass when least expected. This time bad karma crept up on me when I least expected it.
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