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"Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail "Written By: Kaeru Shisho Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing
or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, male/male pairings of a most ridiculous
nature; told from Quatre's point of view, so beware the fluff. Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 Summary: The GW boys are all cats finding their little paws in the big, bad world. For Dyna Dee. A/N: The author needs her head examined, as does
her friend and editor, Waterlily, who suggested it, but I wrote it
just the same in order to make you laugh and as an eleven chapter
gift to Dyna Dee! " Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail " Case in Point, Bastet Thousands of years ago, Cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. That is what we are thinking when we stare, unblinking, at the wall. Now, feed me, damn it! Leave your paltry offerings and I will consider letting you live. One more day. — from the poetry of Chang Wufei Chapter 7 - Catwalk Having a dog chase me all the time was turning out to be an asset, but don't tell Ruggles that. I out ran Miss Iria and Mr. Tam and avoided another trip to the groomers! Yay! My claws had grown out fabulously, as demonstrated when I climbed to the rooftops at the Long Clan Ponds. I didn't want to take a chance and lose my edge, even though it was the knots in my fur that disturbed Miss Iria most. So, I ran like the wind, flew through the cat door to freeeee-dom! I ducked under the hedge and found Heero arguing with Relena next door. Duo wasn't around. "Hi!" I greeted them. The arguing stopped and Relena whipped her tail in frustration. I realized then that I was intruding on a private conversation. "I'm sorry; I heard voices and came to investigate. I'll be going—" "Don't be an idiot," Heero said, but not unkindly. "You have the right to defend your territory. I should go." "Oh, no! Heero, please! You're my only hope!" Heero turned to Relena. "That's not my problem. Talk to Cat." "Cat? I see, well, perhaps you can help me. Tell him to see reason! Heero's just so...stubborn!" I couldn't imagine why she thought I had any sway over Heero, who pound-for-pound outweighed me in sheer muscle. The way he and Duo fought all the time in play? If he applied himself, he could turn me into cat sashimi in no time at all, I was positive. He was only being diffident now out of some kind of cat-courtesy driven into him by, probably, Duo. But just imagining that she thought I might have some influence over his opinion was flattering. "Is there a problem?" I asked, being as diplomatic as possible and hoping that what there was... was not serious. "It's terrible!" Relena mewed. "If I could only stay with Heero, I know I'd be safe." "That's not possible," he said, and he sounded decisive enough to me to end all debate right there and then. "So, let's look at the alternatives," I suggested. "But first, why must you leave your home?" She proceeded to explain the OZ cat breeding program in more detail than I liked, but it did make me feel she had a valid point. "The owner, who everyone calls 'Sir', wants to introduce new varieties into the Angora breed. The co-owner, Lady, wants to maintain the purity of the line. She's just so... awful!" Heero stepped in to cut to the quick. "Lady wants to start breeding Relena immediately, although she's young—" "—with my half-brother!" she whined. I sympathized totally. "That is awful. There isn't a way to convince him to, um, not?" "What choice has he? Milliardo used to be so nice, but since he's grown up he's just..." "Been used," Heero said. She nodded. "Are you going to run away?" I asked. "What choice have I? Oh, Heero—" "No. Odin would see your ID tag and return you." "Oh." Then I had a brilliant idea. "You can stay in my shed!" "But there's that horrid creature living there!" "If you mean Randy Bandito, he's really very nice. Yes, he is a raccoon, but he keeps to himself. I bring him food every night. Besides, he lives under the shed; you'd live inside. No one ever goes there and it's mostly empty. I can find you some blankets and there's fresh water in the... little rock." Relena brightened the more I explained how we could make her comfortable. "It's ready when you are." "Thank you! Thank you, Cat! That will be perfect until a more suitable home can be found for me. Can we take a look now?" Heero cleared out the spiders and a mouse, who had begun a nest in a wooden crate. "This has possibilities." Relena dashed to his side and poked her head into the crate. "That will make a cozy bed," she agreed. So, I braved the dog indoors, and Rashid's questions, and hauled towels and pieces of unwanted, hopefully, clothing from the laundry room to the shed. "I can't open canned food," I explained, accounting for only being able to bring her dry kibble. "I can," Heero said. He snapped shut his mouth so fast I nearly laughed at his slip. He was so capable and proud of it, that he hadn't been able to keep from gloating over his mastery of that skill. "Oh, how sweet of you to offer to bring me a few cans," she said. Sweet. Oh how Heero hated to be called sweet, I could tell, and I nearly laughed at him. I didn't. I respected him and his strength too much. "I'm not! " he insisted with a yowling sound that intimidated me. "And I didn't offer anything." "But you will be so good as to open any I roll out?" I prompted. He'd do me a good turn, wouldn't he? He dipped his chin. "Okay." He wouldn't refuse a friend. Whew! And I did that without Duo to run interference for me! (o) The next day, Duo joined Heero and me in the garden. "I've been laying low," he said warily. If he thought that vague excuse would do to explain away his absence the day before, he didn't know me very well! He'd been to a groomer and looked lovely. I thought I'd try a little friendly teasing. "Why's that?" I asked him. "Vet," he said in a very low voice. "So far I've out-maneuvered Howie." Duo's evasiveness caught Heero's attention; I wondered how long it would take him to notice. Heero sniffed and Duo sidestepped him until he ran into me. "You look... different and smell—" "Do not tell me I smell!" Duo growled. Really. Like a dog. "Like shampoo. Your coat is—" I just knew Heero was going to goof this up. He was trying to tell Duo he looked nice, and fresh, just back from a groomer, probably. I may have been giving Heero far more credit than he deserved, but... "Beautiful! Right, Heero? His coat just gleams and is absolutely the softest—" "All right, all right... enough of that," Duo meowed. I think I'd embarrassed him a little. "Don't get to drooling on me. It was just a wash and blow to get rid of excess hair. Blasted furballs!" "Beautiful," Heero said, adding for good measure, "You are... gorgeous." Duo's eyes grew so large and round, like Mr. Tam's pretty fish. "Um, thanks." "Well, there's no use hiding. Howard will catch you eventually," Heero predicted. "He always does. You might as well just get it over with." "Not by the fur of my chinny, chin—Whoa! Who is...? Relena? Whatcha doing slumming in the shed there?" One look at Duo all cleaned up, fur un-matted and fluffy, and she purred. "You are a big boy, aren't you?" Oh, dear. I expected an uncomfortable exchange to follow and prepared to step in-between whichever cats might attack each other first. Heero turned to an immoveable rock and stopped talking. Relena mewled on and on about how sweet Heero had been helping her settle in and bringing her all sorts of lovely treats, painting a very pretty, but highly inaccurate picture of the situation. I tried to embellish it with remarks like "It was my idea" and "You can blame me for that", and establish a proper framework to her story so Duo could understand why she was now living in my garden shed, with a raccoon, who must have crawled off into a very dark and hidden location, because there was no sign of raccoon anywhere. "Oh, brother!" Duo moaned. "I cannot believe you guys. I'm gone for what... a day... and look at the mess you've got yourselves into." "It's not a mess!" "Why is that female here?" We all turned to find Wufei sitting on the fence, licking a paw. "If I'd known you were having company, I wouldn't have come all this way." He dropped down to the ground and stepped lightly to the watering hole. "It's not what you think," I said. "We're hiding Relena in the shed." He sucked in his tongue, dribbling water on his chin. "You are harboring a runaway? A fugitive from justice?! That's criminal! I won't sanction injustice!" "I'm not asking you to do anything!" I shouted, not something I often did. "It's my territory and if I say she can hide here, then she can. There's nothing to debate! And that goes for you, too, Duo!" "Um..." Duo looked somewhat meek, but then he could hide a lot in all that fur of his. "So there you are!" came a male cat voice from on high. A stranger! "Mill!" Relena mewed back in surprise. "Who's that with the svelte body?" Duo asked, showing far more interest in the new arrival than he ought to with Heero sitting right beside him. "I don't like him." Those were Heero's first words and that was all he said. His hackles were up, ears flattened against his head, and tail twitching in anticipation of a fight. "How can you hate him? You haven't even met him," I pointed out. "Besides, I think it's Relena's half-brother. We should give him the benefit of the doubt-." Heero barred his teeth and hissed as the long-haired white male cat jumped to the ground beside him. The new cat fluffed his copious fur and hissed aggressively, while Heero stood his ground and sank his claws into the grass for traction. This was just what I needed, another cat entering my garden with a perceived grievance. Duo echoed my sentiments, "You gotta axe to grind? A chip on your shoulder or something, buddy?" "I don't need to meet him. I dislike him already." Heero's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I regularly patrol a network of paths at fixed schedule and mark my territory. Never have I encountered this one." The Angora, whom Relena had called Mill, hissed defiantly. "I don't usually hobnob with the out-of-doors cats. But I find I relish this opportunity to fight you." "Oooh, that's gotta rub the fur the wrong way," Duo commented to me. "Yes, I agree. Should we do something?" I asked, but Duo just shook his head, no. I looked at Wufei and found him sitting transfixed, staring at the new cat- worthless. Heero hissed his own threat and swatted at the other cat. Mill blocked the attack and launched one of his own, combining short stabs with snarling. The two cats looked evenly matched. "They sure look like opposites," Duo observed. He sat at my side, tense, but staying uninvolved, letting Heero assess his skills, I guessed. "They do." Duo purred. "It's fun to watch them move." "It is," I agreed. Two very handsome cats to watch. "Bricks wrapped in silk", was how Duo described the Burmese in his characteristic colorful language. And he was right. Heero's solid, muscular round-shaped body was clothed in silky, walnut-brown, short fur- what he himself called a "truly low maintenance coat". He contrasted sharply with the Angora, whose well-balanced body was the very picture of grace and appeared swathed in a goodly amount of fur. "Long," Duo said, describing the Angora. Mill certainly did have a long body, long, slim legs—though not half as long as Trowa's- a long tail, long coat, large ears and wide eyes. Relena was a copy, except she seemed far daintier, with finer bones and a slimmer chest. Both brother and sister had that remarkably super-soft, snow-white coat of fur. And both had brought turmoil into my territory! And Heero wasn't blameless either! "What is it with you and belligerent attitudes?!" I cried out. "You can't possibly have cause for holding a grudge yet! Can't we all start out being friendly and polite?" I was ignored by everyone but Duo, who told me to "chill." "It's a grudge match for sure, but it's an honor thing. Don't worry. Heero's really exceptional!" Of course he was... I watched as Heero fought Mill admirably and Mill parried Heero's thrust and jabs with great skill. I couldn't tell who might win. And then the oddest thing happened. What shocked me most happened just then—another cat joined me in stopping the fight, but not who I'd expected at all. Wufei let out a long horrid howl, the sort only Siamese seemed able to make. "Stop this nonsense! Think of the wrongs you could right! Fight the injustice of the breeding program! Not each other!" The fighting stopped immediately. Mid strike, Mill froze and lowered his paws. Both cats withdrew their retractable claws and began licking at them to clean out any loose fur. It was as if they hadn't been just about to tear each other apart only moments earlier! "That's better," I said. The long-haired white cat leaped to Wufei's side. "What is do you know about the OZ breeders?" I hoped he wasn't about to shred the smaller cat for making such a racket, but his attention seemed riveted on Wufei's collar. I'd noticed the pretty pendant before—gold with symbols pressed into it—but Mill seemed captivated by it. "Nothing in particular, but with Relena involved, I simply guessed. She's complained about the living conditions before. Why are you groping me? What are you looking at?" "You are one of the Long Clan guard cats!" Mill cried out. "You safeguard the koi ponds!" "Indeed. We fight, but only out of duty and for honorable causes." "Wisely said," Mill meowed. "May I introduce myself?" We all stood engrossed for a second by his soft, melodious voice and in what was happening. His moves were graceful and polished as he continued in his courteous manner, turning to address me as the others as well as Wufei, who anyone could tell interested him chiefly. "I am Milliardo of the White Fang breed. Please forgive me for any disturbance into your territory, but I've come in search of Relena." The beautiful all-white cat turned so his long fur that caught the sunlight and glistened. His keen blue eyes raked us over then landed on Relena. "The humans are looking all over for you." "I'm not going home! I won't cooperate with their plans." Relena stamped her feet and swished her tail. He dropped his refined tone. "Don't be stupid," Mill hissed. "After they've finished searching the house and grounds, you know they will come here. House-to-house searches aren't beyond the human imagination, and they will find you." "I'll run further. I know lots of other cats who'll take me in." Of course, that was a lie and I'm certain everyone knew it was unlikely she knew any other cats. Before anyone could call her on it, there came a chirping sound, a voice I'd missed sorely from high up in the treetops. "She can stay at the circus." "Trowa!" I cried out with pleasure. "The circus! Of course!" My heart beat so hard it drowned out the drone of the bees and cicadas. Yes! It was Trowa! Where had he come from?! I escaped the cluster of chest-beaters and dashed to the tree. Climbing up to his limb was a cinch with my well-grown claws. "Hel-lo, my little Catling," he purred. His tail fluffed in greeting, and I remembered he liked to head-butt, so I tried it on him and received a lovely face grooming in return. "Happy to see me?" "You have to ask?" I purred in pure delight. "I was thinking of going to see you." "I can accommodate that. I came to see if you'd like to come today." "Oh! That would be wonderful! Oh, yes! Yes! Hey, everybody! Trowa's leading us to the circus!" I listened to a chorus of meows and mews and whines and then it crossed my mind that Trowa had remained very, very quiet following his invitation. Oh. It hadn't occurred to me that he wanted to invite me, and me only, to go with him. I met his eyes slowly. "I'm so sorry, Trowa. I didn't think. I just wanted everyone to know you were here." "It's okay. We'll have other times to be alone, you can be sure of that." When it was decided that everyone was to go to the circus, Duo was the most enthusiastic and showed it with a little chant. "Oh, yeah. We be your best fans. We bring the passion. We bring the powa! Oh, yeah... oh, yeah!" He even had a cute little dance and managed to swipe Wufei in the face with his huge tail. That Wufei joined us was unexpected, but I think Milliardo needed someone to groom his fur every so often, and Wufei turned out to be the just right, sycophantic cat for that job. Relena had no idea what a circus was, but seemed petrified by Trowa's presence. However, Heero assured her that the circus was just the place for her, so she seemed breathless with anticipation. I loved having Trowa at my side. It made it hard for me to care much about all the silly problems embroiling the others. "So, tell me who's the prince over there Wufei's fawning over?" Trowa asked me. "Prints? Foot prints?" "The new cat that acts as if he's royalty- like a prince." "Oh, that's Milliardo, or Mill for short, Relena's half-brother. I'll tell you about it on the way," I promised, although, I needn't have bothered. Once the trip got underway, Relena told us everything there was to know about their breed, the OZ breeding program, and everything else that struck her fancy. "Mill and I live in the great house with many lady cats and stud males intended for breeding. Those not chosen are not kept. I-I don't know what happens to them." "I can give you a few possibilities," Duo said, but didn't actually expand on that, for which I was grateful. I know I had a good home, but I didn't know what had become of my many sisters, and I didn't want to think about it- I most certainly didn't want to hear about it! "How is it that you are allowed outside?" Trowa asked. "Oh, I am very smart and very clever. I have a secret pathway." She looked over at her brother to check his reaction, but he was engaged in conversation with Wufei. "It's not so secret anymore, I guess, if he discovered it." "You are terribly brave to take that chance," I said. "I had to escape that cattery, you understand. I'm not a tool to be used for some human's greedy gains!" "No, you shouldn't be." I let her move closer to Heero and fell back a little to walk close to Trowa, who was alongside Duo. Duo seemed deep in thought and didn't speak, while Trowa trotted along in silence, hears pitched forward, listening intently. I was happy just to be with him agian, so I held my tongue and tried to look out for danger. Behind us, I could hear cat talk. Both Mill and Wufei were chatty breeds, and interesting, so I found myself listening in on their conversation. "I find your purring tranquil," Wufei said. I cast a look over my back and caught him closing his eyes and using his whiskers to feel for the path. When he bumped into Mill, I turned away and stifled a laugh. "We are an affectionate breed." The Angora's head held aloft was higher than Wufei's, but it may have been only illusionary, except that this was a true alpha cat, like Heero and Trowa. "I always did want to steal outside and sow my wild oats, as they say, before I was locked up and subjected to the controlled breeding program." "I am glad you are here today," Wufei said. I sneaked another look backwards and this time caught Wufei giving me a cursory glance. "It's nice to talk to someone who understands the necessity of doing one's duty." "Duty, when it is honorable, yes, but there are other times... Well, I am particularly pleased," Mill purred with feeling, "to be away from a household packed with prissy purebreds." "We're not all prissy, as you put it!" Wufie's voice was close to a whine. "Oh, my, dear, you can't possibly be all pure Siamese." "I most certainly am!" "But your eyes are not blue. All Siamese have blue eyes." "Well, not this one!" "Oh, don't be that way." "What way do you think I ought to be, then? I've been insulted." Trowa chirped. I just adored his laugh. We exchanged "understanding looks" and purred together. "What are you laughing at, you half-breed, wild-cat?" Wufei snapped at him. "That could have been a compliment," Trowa said, stopping in the path, "had I'd been looking for one. And same goes for what he said to you. Think about it." "I wasn't-!" Wufei halted abruptly. Obviously you weren't thinking at all, I thought, but didn't say it aloud. I let Trowa handle this all by himself. "It is possible that you might be a rare breed of Siamese with brown eyes, or it might have something to do with your name." "What about my name?" I nearly laughed aloud. Trowa really knew the triggers to set off Wufei. Trowa leaned over and flicked the metal tag which hung from Wufei's ornate collar with his nose. "Leave that alone!" "Wu—that's the number five, a most unlucky number—" "That's ridiculous! What do you know about number theory?" "A lot. The number five is also associated with the five elements: water, fire, earth, wood, and metal, which is kinda cool." That mollified Wufei somewhat. "Well, yes-." "But then there is the other half of you name, the 'Fei'." "What's wrong with that?" "Nothing, if it was referring to 'flying high'—" "I'm an excellent jumper!" "But it fits a bird, better," Duo put in unnecessarily. "Shut up! No one asked for your input!" Wufei pivoted back to face Trowa. "Clouds fly high and are elementally a combination of both air and water. There are cloud aspects to my appearance." "Could be," Trowa said, unconvinced. "I'm going with the more popular meaning." "Which is what?" "Robber." I immediately thought of 'stealing fish,' and watched as Wufei's eyes grew wide with alarm as the same thought must have occurred to him. His tail twitched a warning and I could see one bared fang. Another fight and we hadn't even reached the circus yet! "Oh, Relena's telling a fascinating story," I said to Trowa, gaining his attention. "Come with me. I want to hear it." Duo must have read Wufei's body language and reached the same conclusion—the Siamese had had enough of Trowa for one day already. As if on cue, he and I shifted positions; Duo slipped between Trowa and Wufei, as I tugged at Trowa's collar with my teeth, dragging them apart and over closer to Relena and Heero. Trowa was more amused than worried, I could tell. "You know, cats fight to lie in the warmth of my glow." "I'm sure you leave a wake of fighting-mad cats wherever you go," I commented. Trowa just had a sarcastic way of putting things that shouldn't be taken seriously, and Wufei had very little sense of humor. "Siamese are touchy, so that really wasn't any challenge. Let's see how I do with Angoras," Trowa murmured into my ear, tickling me. Angoras, it turned out, were very vocal and the two of them could carry out an animated conversation for a long time. "You see, the Turkish Angora is a naturally occurring breed from the 'old country,' with traces of its line going back several millennia," Mill was telling Heero, who looked dreadfully bored. Milliardo's coat shimmered when he moved. "He's quite striking," I said to Heero. I received a dark look in return and a whispered something about 'liking to give him a striking' which I pretended not to hear. "I just love to dance, don't you, Heero?" Relena asked. "Not much." Milliardo purred. "It is especially captivating when we do." He actually gave us a little demonstration right there on the path. His fur floated cloud-like (that's how a cloud should look, Wufei) as he swirled around. When Relena joined in, I could see that Angoras definitely seemed to flow with the grace of dancers. "Bravo!" I cheered. "That was fabulous!" "I definitely see a circus career in your future," Trowa said. "You don't happen to like water?" Mill stopped his fancy stepping and fell back into line. "Actually, the Angora is known for his swimming prowess, and will even plunge in for an occasional swim." "Oh, Mill, now, not every one of us enjoys water." "But many do, with varying degrees of enthusiasm." It seemed to me that Angoras were good-natured, but determined. Once an Angora got an idea into his head, you might as well just give in and spare yourself the lengthy argument. They enjoyed a good conversation and could keep up their end of the discussion with the best of them. I guessed that they were highly intelligent, problem solvers who liked to be in control of their surroundings. How that would work within our collection of strong-minded cats, I didn't know. What I did know was that we could adapt. Trowa was solitary by nature, Rashid had said of the Servals, but here he was choosing to be in a collection of other cats, mostly male. Wufei, who I wouldn't think was the type to be part of a group, stayed on the path. Duo seemed outgoing but contained himself on the trip, so far. Heero may not have been very sociable, but he, too, endured the annoyances to participate in something new, and bold, and fun. "Any of you interested in riding on the back of a tiger?" Trowa asked. "He's kidding, isn't he?" Relena asked Heero, who just pushed on in silence. "I never kid about work," Trowa said. I saw his wink. I hoped the day would go well. TBC
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